How to Move Forward

It is about breaking your own limitations and outgrowing yourself in order to live your best life. You are not in competition with anyone else; plan to outdo your past not other people. It is your choice. Choose to be the best you can be. Never let your past dictate who you are or what you can accomplish. You can be and do better than you ever imagined if you believe you can. The mind is the most powerful instrument in the universe. If used properly it will do what you choose it to do. Belief gives you faith and faith gives you conviction. Your gift of life was meant just for you. All would like to say at the end of the day "So glad I made it". With faith you will make it through. This process has yet to fail and has a consistency rate of 100 %. Consistency is the key and only focus, effort and drive will guarantee consistency. If you are living in the past you will fail to see the future. Outdated ideologies that keep us divided and will never let us experience life at its finest. No longer can anything or anyone else but you be held accountable for your life. You were given life for a reason and purpose. Experience comes at a cost. Despite your setbacks your victory is closer than you think. You have to put the work in. The seeds have been sown get ready to reap the harvest.

Move forward without any hesitation or procrastination. Time waits for no one and the longer you wait the further behind you get. There has to be a change.

We need to learn to get out of our own way. Only use your energy for things that affect your life positively. The challenges of life can be complex, taxing and hard to overcome, but if you change your perspective of these challenges, you will overcome. Believe that you were born to be a champion. You are actually amazing. Let your words your character and your values stand for something. Let it represent the best of you no less. When you give the all of yourself and the best of yourself, you are paying back the tithe God truly deserves and request. Malachi 3:10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. Connect your mouth with your heart and it leads to a path to your soul.

Your blessings will be bigger than any of your expectations. The key is standing on your faith and being about your business. Don't waste your time and energy relying on past fallacies and ideas that were never meant to benefit you. Imagine everything working for the good of you instead wondering what if. Apply your effort drive and resources; spiritual and physical to bring your dreams, goals and imagination to fruition. Connect with those that share your vision. Never underestimate the strength that numbers bring. When those numbers are of one accord it changes the dynamics of any endeavor or situation. The more that is for you the lesser that is against you it's the law of averages. Live to move forward and you will reach your destiny.

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How to Influence People to See Your Side

Dale Carnegie once said in his famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, that the only way to make someone do what you want them to do or think the way you want them to think is to make them want to do it, want to change their mind.

People are naturally more likely to respond positively to your idea or point of view when it is not forced upon them. Have you ever tried forcing a student to do his homework when he just wants to play? He may do it because you 'made' him but he is not putting 100% effort into it nor is he going to agree that what you've asked him to do is for his best interest. Pressure and forcefulness inevitably will be met with a wall of defense.

Have you ever walked into a store and the salesperson is in your face trying to make you buy everything you touch? Did you end up buying anything from that store? Of course not. When you feel like you are made to do something, the instant reaction would be 'I don't want to' and it becomes exceedingly hard to change that mindset.

Now picture another scenario where you are in a store and the salesperson allows you to browse freely and only come up to you when you show interest. They compliment you on your choice of product. It was your choice to pick up that item and the salesperson is merely engaging in conversation to commend you on your impeccable taste. Was that person trying to make a sale? Of course but at the end of the day, you were made to feel like you were not being sold a product but rather, you 'bought' a product. It was your decision.

The best techniques to influencing a person's decision

Knowing that you need to persuade a person to want to do what you want them to or think the way you do is one thing but how do you start?

Avoid the answer 'no' and keep pressing for 'yes'.

Never straight out say 'this is what I think' and expect the other person to agree. You need to lead the conversation with questions to enable the other person to start saying 'yes'.

Your first few questions should be ones you know would get you a yes answer such as, 'This department has potential to double it's revenue this year, don't you think?' This would be something your boss would definitely nod his head to. Continue to lead with 'yes' questions and then throw in:

'If I can do xxx this year, sign xxx amount of contracts and get xxx on board with our company, do you think it would be worth $xxx?"

When someone has been giving positive affirmation, they are less likely to say no as their mindset is already switched onto an agreeable mode. It is similar to when infomercials continuously ask questions like:

"Are you sick and tired of wasting time vacuuming?"

"Is your vacuum cleaner just not doing the job?"

"Don't you want something that can cut your cleaning time in half?"

Answers? YES. YES. YES.

Do you want this brand new state of the art vacuum cleaner for ONLY $99.99?

More than likely, your mind is already leaning towards taking out your credit card. You don't feel like you've been sold something because you feel like you made the decision to BUY it and it was your decision alone to improve your home with this brand new product.

So the next time you are in a conversation to influence someone to your side of the table, start by getting them to say 'yes'.

It was never YOUR idea to begin with

While I was working in my day job, I could see there were things that needed changing in the current process but my manager was one who was quite proud of the process that he had implemented. Yet it was my colleagues and I who were suffering as we were directly affected.

We had brought up changes in the process and presented him ways we thought would be best but time after time, the changes were dismissed.

So I decided that I would just every so often drop hints of flaws in the current process casually during lunch or after work. Casually mentioning that one of the tasks was dependent on a certain procedure and it would be nice if 'this' and 'this' could happen instead. This went on for about 3 weeks until the next meeting when my manager presented us with his new idea for changes in the process.

It was what we wanted all along and of course, we praised him on how clever he was to have thought of the new idea.

If the end result is in your favour, does it matter who takes the credit?

So often, people want others to agree to their point of view to 'prove' that they are right but if your end goal is to influence the other person to see your view, does it matter if you were right all along? Don't set out to prove, set out to persuade and influence. You will find that it makes a vast difference.

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Positive or Negative? It's Your Choice!

Many years ago, when delivering a talk to a group of business people on the subject of public speaking, right slap bang in the middle of it, the fire alarm went off. We were immediately evacuated and had to stand outside for 5 or 10 minutes. Although it was July, there was a particularly chilly wind, so not the most pleasant of experiences.

On our way back in, someone from outside the group said to me, "you'll never get everyone back into the room" (mine was the session just before lunch. Beware - negative people lurk everywhere!) However, that was like a red rag to a bull to me. I remember thinking "oh yes I will and what's more I'll use the fire alarm going off as a point of learning."

And that's exactly what I did. First of all, everyone did come back in. I then made a quip about the alarm having woken everyone up, which got them laughing. They agreed that we could make up the lost time and work into the lunch-break. Finally, I used the fire alarm going off as an example of how to handle an unexpected situation when speaking in public - there's even a term for this - it's called utilisation. This means that you use whatever's happening and turn it to your advantage. You'll see comedians do this all the time.

So what could easily have been perceived as negative turned into an extremely positive situation for me as it showed me how confident I was in handling such situations with competence and ease. The cherry on the cake was that 7 years later, one of the attendees at that event contacted me and asked me to coach him. Perhaps my handling of the alarm going off had contributed to the memorability of my talk.

So the question is, how can you apply this to situations which may arise in your life. Use the following 3 step process:

1) Decide that no matter what happens, you will always look for the positive in every situation. This will take practice though since you (like most humans) probably have a tendency to judge everything as good or bad. However, things are rarely that straightforward. In fact, it's probably true to say that in every positive, there's a negative and in every negative, there's a positive.

2) When a 'negative' situation arises, ask the following questions: "what's the positive in this?" and "what can I learn from this?" By asking such questions, you are consciously directing your mind and assisting your unconscious mind to come up with answers. If you persist, you will find them.

3) Make this a habit. If necessary, stick post-its around to remind you to do this.

You can also utilise this process when challenges arise around charging what you're worth.

You might be thinking, is that it? That's really simple. The answer is yes - things are simple, though creating the habit of doing this will take time. Positive or negative - it's your choice!

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