Dr. Romance on Patterns of Change

Dr. Romance writes:

I've been dealing with a lot of unwanted changes, and it's not easy. Losses, disappointments, changes - we all struggle when life doesn't go our way. Why is it so hard to handle change? Then there are the changes we want to make, fight hard to make - losing weight, giving up smoking, being more organized. Why is it so hard to create change?

The answer is patterns -- human beings are hardwired to seek out patterns and operate according to them. Every waking moment we are bombarded by overwhelming floods of data, infinite numbers of choices, confusing and conflicting information. Sheer survival depends upon your brain being able to sort through all of this every minute. The ingenious solution, built right in to your brain and nervous system, is the ability to operate according to patterns.

Your brain automatically searches and identifies many kinds of patterns. Patterns of sight mean that you can identify the chair from the table, the dining room from the bedroom, whether you see them in their three-dimensional form, or see a photograph, or even see the drawing created by your six-year-old. A table on a canvas by Van Gogh or Picasso is recognizable even though the perspective is skewed and the colors are strange. It still fits the pattern of table. Kinesthetic patterns mean you can reach for a utensil, pot or dish in the kitchen without even looking where you reach, or grab your toothbrush in the bathroom before you're really awake. A combination of kinesthetic and visual patterns means you can drive the familiar drive to work without even thinking about it and if you get a new job or move, you'll find yourself taking the old route if you don't pay attention.

The stress of paying attention is one of the major reasons why patterns are important. Research shows that moving to a new home is one of the most stressful experiences you can have, right up there with the death of a loved one. This doesn't appear to make sense -- since moving to a new home is usually a desirable thing -- until you think about patterns. All those kinesthetic, visual patterns have suddenly changed -- the pots, dishes and your toothbrush (not to mention the bathroom) are all in different places. So is the furniture. You're tripping over chairs that seem to be in the wrong places. You have to think every minute of the drive to work, because the route is unfamiliar. Each of these changed patterns represents a lot of stress.When you're operating within old, familiar patterns, you don't need to think about what you're doing. Your body is wired to do familiar things without having to think about them. This leaves your mind free to wander, and to de-stress.

As I write this, I'm touch-typing. I don't have to think about the spelling of the words, or which finger hits which key. here was a time, of course, when I couldn't type even one word without hunting and pecking for each letter, but (in the beginning) painstaking practice and repetition, and now many years of experience, mean that I can even talk to someone else while I type. Repetition and practice made the patterns part of my consciousness.

If you want to change a habit (for example, to develop a habit of wearing your car seat belt) you develop a pattern that incorporates the change (I'll get in my car, put the key in the ignition, fasten my seat belt, and then start car.) At first, you may even need a written note to remind you of the pattern, but if you consistently follow your new routine, it will be a pattern in a week or two. If you do it for several weeks, it will become ingrained enough to feel automatic you won't need to think about it at all. Changing even really tough patterns, like smoking, is possible if you break it down into each smoking habit you have (after dinner, at work, hanging out with friends) and develop a replacement pattern for each one (chew mint gum after dinner, take a short, brisk walk during work breaks, hang out in non-smoking places with friends,) and follow each new pattern consistently until all are changed. Having something different to focus on makes the psychological withdrawal easier.

Here's something that will help: We have a brain mechanism psychologists call "preparatory set." It's one of the mechanisms the mind uses to sort through the enormous amounts of data that flow in daily, and keep it manageable. By writing down the things you want to accomplish and making them clear, you can "program" that mechanism. Once programmed, it directs your attention to certain events and occurrences. To illustrate: When you decide you want a certain car (an SUV, a hybrid, or a Mini) you see that model everywhere, you notice every one on the freeway, you see every ad or commercial. Preparatory set works that way. Once you program it with your goals (visualizing in addition to writing is most effective) you will automatically be more aware of certain events, opportunities and people who can be helpful. You'll also be more clear about what you want, and this will sneak into your conversation and your general attitude, where others can pick up on it. It's not really magic, unless you believe as I do, that the mind is a miracle in itself.

For example, to make it easy to include easy exercise in your life, write down your goal (I will walk an extra half hour a day) and picture yourself walking and enjoying it -- perhaps you picture parking a few blocks away (where it's cheaper) and walk the rest of the way, or get off the bus or subway one stop early, or walk to that nearby restaurant (or art museum) for lunch, or take the stairs instead of the elevator when you go to the Xerox, or take a sandwich to a nearby park, or take the dog for a bit longer walk than usual before and after work. If you picture yourself walking and enjoying it, you'll soon find that you're noticing more new and different ways you can add in walking without stressing about it.

Change will still take work, but using this mental trick will help you reach your goals easier and faster.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Dr.-Romance-on-Patterns-of-Change&id=10156383

How I Manifested $190,000,000,000 Using This Exact THOUGHT PROCESS | Elon Musk & Joe Dispenza

Don't Start Youtube Before You WATCH THIS | Joe Dispenza New

How To Conquer Pressure Like A Brain Surgeon

Some people would say that I have a high-pressure job. I'm a professional speaker. My job is to do what, to most people, is their number one fear: speaking in public. In a few days, I'll be speaking to an audience of 5,000 people - and I'm fine with that. For many people, though, that would be more pressure than they could handle.

You know who I think has a high-pressure job? Brain surgeons! See, if I screw up, what happens? The speech doesn't go well, and I probably don't get invited back. If the brain surgeon screws up, what happens? The patient dies. So I think we can all agree that the brain surgeon is under much more pressure, right?

You know who might not agree? The brain surgeon.

"How is that possible, Bill?" you ask. "Surely the brain surgeon knows, better than anyone, how much pressure she's under?"

But here's the thing. Most speciality surgeons (brain surgeons, cardiac surgeons, orthopedic surgeons, etc.) don't feel nearly the amount of pressure we mere mortals might think they do.

Why is that?

Largely, it's because of one word: repetition.

When a surgeon steps into the operating room, she has performed that procedure so many times before that, in her eyes, it's routine. It's just another day at the office.

The training generally follows a process called WDT, which stands for Watch, Do, Teach.

When learning a procedure, the doctor/student will Watch this procedure being done by surgeons who have already mastered it. And then they'll watch again. And again. And again.

The next step is to Do the procedure - at first under close supervision and then, finally, as the lead surgeon.

The final step, which some say is the most critical, is to Teach others how to do the procedure. When you can teach it to others, you know you have it mastered.

It's the same in your world. Even though you may not be aware of it, you probably went (or are going through) the same steps. And what do they have in common?

Repetition.

When you Watch a skill being performed when you Do the skill, and when you Teach the skill - dozens, hundreds, thousands of times - you are repeating it to the point where it becomes routine. And when it becomes routine, it eases the pressure.

Do you think your pilot starts shaking and sweating when it's time for him to land the plane? Probably not. Why? Because he's done it thousands of times - it's routine.

Why can I get up and speak to 5,000 people without falling to pieces? Because I've spoken to hundreds and hundreds of audiences before.

Here's the equation: As repetition increases, pressure decreases.

Do you recall the pressure you felt the first time you got behind the wheel of a car? If you're over, say, 30, you may not even remember it - but it was there! Do you feel that pressure now? Probably not (unless something out of the ordinary occurs). There's no pressure anymore. It's routine.

Bottom line: Whatever high-pressure skills are involved in your job, practice them. And then practice them again. Over and over and over. Until they become routine.

It works for the brain surgeon, and it'll work for you.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Conquer-Pressure-Like-A-Brain-Surgeon&id=9933037

How Your Inner Critic Is Sabotaging You

You may believe in the power of affirmations but do they often get crushed by your inner-critic? These affirmations seem like a great idea and several experts will say they work. But, if they do work, why aren't more people using them?

It could be that your inner-critic is stronger than any affirmations you may present for yourself. After all, we spent a lifetime developing that critic. A few short-term affirmations aren't going to hold much weight against it.

So, does this mean you are destined to never using affirmations? Not at all.

In fact, it is the purpose of affirmations to re-target your brain into believing that the affirmations are the correct way to think. For this, consistency is key. Set up a system that allows you to reinforce your affirmations.

It's going to take some work, but it can be done. It is about switching up your routine to use affirmations you find or create. If you are stuck finding the right affirmations, ask others who have found ones that work.

Repetition and belief are two important concepts when applying your affirmations. Set up a schedule that contains the particular affirmation you want to use. Say your affirmations out loud and do it several times on each day. The more you do them, the more they will transform your thoughts to the point where they become natural.

If you skip a day that has been scheduled, don't worry too much about it. Just pick up where you left off the next day and write in your journal about skipping. If you can pinpoint the reason why this can help keep you from doing it again, it would even be better.

When you set up your schedule and journal and stick to them, you will look back and wonder how your inner-critic was even able to dominate. Your affirmations will take over and be in control of your brain.

Thus, you will be setting up the Law of Attraction as it relates to affirmations in a way that gives you the results you seek. Once this happens, you have the tools to make it happen over and over again. This means you will finally get to have the things you have wanted and live the life you have always dreamed about.

It is a new journey but one that will have a lasting impact. You have it within you to make the necessary changes. The question is, are you ready to silence your inner-critic? I wish you all the best in your success affirmation endeavors.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Your-Inner-Critic-Is-Sabotaging-You&id=9556907

Success Secret: The Art of Repetition (By Nigel Ikechukwu)

One afternoon, I was walking up the stairs of a 3-storey building where I lived with a friend of mine. When we got to the topmost floor, she asked me,"Nigel, how do you manage to climb up and down these stairs everyday?" "It's tiring", she added. I smiled, looked at her and said, "It's because I'm used to it and you're not".

End of story.

What's the essence of telling you that story? It's because I need you to get this point straight: "NOTHING IS TOO HARD OR DIFFICULT TO ACCOMPLISH, YOU'RE EITHER NOT USED TO IT OR YOU LACK THE PASSION FOR IT".

Back in high school days, some of my peers had this belief that math was hard and therefore, they just disliked the math teacher and never paid attention in any of his classes. The result? Few of them who were lucky escaped with E's, but most of them failed woefully.

There were also some who initially thought math was difficult, but when they tried to solve questions on their own, pay more attention to the teacher and try over and over again to solve questions, they became better and good. It then dawned on them that mathematics was easy and they got excellent results.

What am I trying to point out here? Getting to that point where something admirable becomes second nature to you is the goal. I call that point the 'elastic limit'. You subconsciously attain it by constant repetitive activity. It is then your whole system adapts to it and it becomes easy to always do it.

If you're very observant, you'd notice that very successful people in any field have one thing in common. They are always relaxed, calm and poised when they are performing.

Did they master that overnight? No! A very big No. Rather, they've invested time to repeatedly master their skills over and over again until it became an integral part of them.

Smart and driven people understand that excellence is a habit. That's why they put in effort to GET USED TO doing those things necessary to achieve the dream they're passionate about.

There's no big magic to it. Most people don't succeed because it's either they're not passionate about what they do or that they give up too easily.

Passion for whatever you choose to do is very important. It is fuel that keeps you going until you cross that 'elastic limit' threshold where it all becomes very easy. Therefore, you must be passionate about the goal you have in mind.

On a final note, some people like to ask the question:

"How long will it take?". I feel that question is for losers looking for a reason to back out or for shortcuts.

They lack that passion and dedication needed to walk the walk and that's why they want to be given a particular time when they can expect to relax and quit.

Truth is: Who's willing is willing. If you've truly made up your mind to succeed in anything and you have the strong drive for it, you'd be willing to walk the walk repeatedly for as long as it takes to attain the goal you have in mind.

This can be applied to achieve success in any area of life ranging from your career, relationships, lifestyle, habits, character and much more.

Till next time,

http://ezinearticles.com/?Success-Secret:-The-Art-of-Repetition&id=9460747

Mystery and Purpose

If I had to choose any subject to freely express my views on; it would have to be the mystery and purpose of life. I feel too many people at a certain point in time feel as if life boils down to what their net worth is. Grant it, having a substantial amount of income and savings does make living this tedious life much easier, but finances could never really solve the mystery or figure out the purpose of life.

Mysteries have a way of solving themselves if you leave them alone and continue with business as usual. When it comes to the mystery of life it's a very similar process. To some people a mystery is a problem or a difficult situation; a conundrum if you will. But I view it as the complete opposite. It is merely an unknown, which doesn't make it bad or good just UNKNOWN! Unlike society these days, the least amount of time should be spent on the problem (unknown) and more on the solution. The solution in this case, would be to master the God given ability inside of you. I'm sure you've heard the expression, "experience is the best teacher". This is the perfect time for that quote. Obviously the only way to get better at anything is repetition. Doing something repeatedly gives you experience. Experience teaches you to correct and prevent mistakes and possibly innovative ways to approach your abilities and present it to others.

Let's say as a young child an adult saw that you were a natural born public speaker and wanted to help you master that God given ability. The faith behind the solution of the mystery, problem or the unknown would be putting the time into this ability not knowing the outcome but believing that this ability that was so carefully placed inside will fill a void like nothing else imaginable ever could. The mystery, it would seem, takes moments to solve. The exciting part is seeing where this newly discovered purpose takes you in this life.

It's no mystery but a fact that the world we live in is ruled by money. The 2nd best part of this article though, is to realize that all of your God given talents abilities and gifts can and should be monetized. People pay huge amounts of cash for something organic. Something directly from the heart of you! By all means, after or while you're mastering those abilities see how you can market them. I guarantee somebody needs what God has placed inside of you.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Mystery-and-Purpose&id=9661266

How to Remember Names: 3 Sure-Fire Tips That Work

When I first began to speak for a living I found it difficult to remember the names of the people who hired me or those I met during refreshment break or during the chit chat session at the end of my presentation. I knew I had to do something to improve my memory. How could I continue to speak on relationships and communication and not recall the names of the people I was relating to and communicating with?

After much research, study, and practice my memory improved to the point where now people frequently ask how I am able to remember the names of so many people. Here are my secrets. Practice them and in no time you too will be able to impress others with your remarkable memory.

The most important memory technique is DESIRE. You've got to really want to remember a person's name. Most forgetting is not the result of a poor memory, but rather the result of a lack of desire or intention to remember in the first place. You have only ten seconds to lock a name into your memory. If you don't lock it in within ten seconds it is gone.

Memory Techniques

* Pay attention and listen carefully. Listen carefully when someone gives you their name. Pay strict attention. If the name is unusual ask the person to spell it. Pay attention to the spelling. Use the name frequently in the conversation.

* Repetition

Repeat the name mentally five or six times after it has been given to you. This alone is often enough to lock the name into your memory bank. I have found that if I have quite a few names to recall this strategy doesn't work as effectively. For one or two names it works well.

* Association and Exaggeration

When a name is given, associate it with a mental image. The image you come up with should be off the wall. Research has found that the most bizarre images are the ones most easily remembered. Exaggerate the size, shape and action of the associated image. This too promotes memory retention.

Examples of these techniques in action

Name to Remember: Annie Davis

Think of a woman's fanny and an Avis rent a car. Now picture the fanny getting into the car with a huge Avis sign on the door.

Bill Dewar

Imagine a man covered with dollar bills digging for dew worms.

Connie Adams

Think of a woman in a striped prison uniform (CON) with a newspaper on her knee reading the help wanted ads. con + knee + ads This should be enough to give you the name when brought to mind.

As silly as these might seem, they do work. To practice this exercise go to the phone book and select names at random and try to apply this technique to the names selected. The more you practice the easier the process becomes. Pretty soon you will be able to recall names using this techniques without thinking much about it.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Remember-Names:-3-Sure-Fire-Tips-That-Work&id=8948369

No Gimmick Memory: 10 Simple Strategies for Remembering the Names of Every Single Person You Meet

You're walking down the street, and meet someone whose name you should remember. You don't. You try to get by with a warm greeting. It almost works. Then, another friend joins both of you and waits to be introduced. You're embarrassed. The other person remembers your name; you've forgotten his. You're not sure whether you've simply got a poor memory or if you're showing early signs of senility.

If you'd like to possess a memory for names, try these simple strategies - they'll make a world of difference in your ability to remember names.

LOOK AT THE PERSON WHEN YOU HEAR THE NAME

When you're meeting a person, you're often looking elsewhere. If a third person is introducing you, you're normally looking at the person who is doing the introductions or is speaking. If a customer comes up to the counter you're working at, you're generally looking at the paperwork you've just assembled. If you've just come into a room full of people at a party, and are being introduced to others, your attention is often "inside" your own head, focused on how you look.

Since memory is highly associative (one thing links with another), looking at a person when you're first meeting him or her helps you link the sound of the new name with the face. Then, when you later look at the face, you'll be more likely to remember the name.

MAKE SURE YOU HEAR THE NAME CLEARLY

Often, introductions are rushed and names are mumbled or slurred. If this happens, ask the person to repeat his or her name. If you hear only a mumble, that's what you'll remember. And, if you realize several minutes into a conversation you were too distracted to hear the name initially, ask for it again. You can't memorize what you haven't heard.

WHEN YOU HEAR THE NAME, REPEAT IT AT ONCE INSIDE YOUR OWN HEAD

Your memory isn't failing you, you're failing your memory.

Repeating a name increases your chances of remembering a name by 30 percent. If you remember repeating poems in grade school until they were memorized, you realize that repetition works. While something repeated once a day for eight days is generally remembered for months, something heard only once is at least two-thirds forgotten by the end of the first day. If you want to remember a name, at least repeat the name in your head when you first hear it.

IF THE NAME IS UNUSUAL OR HARD TO REMEMBER, ASK THE PERSON TO SPELL IT OR SPELL IT SILENTLY YOURSELF

Because it is easier to remember visual than auditory information, we often take a mental snapshot of a person's name without realizing it. When you meet a person named Joe or Mary, your mind quickly "sees" "Joe" or "Mary." However, when you meet a person with an unusual name such as "Tanzeem," your mind hears that the sound is difficult and takes no snapshot. What you later remember is not the name, but instead that the name was "different."

Because you already tend to remember names visually, assist yourself by spelling difficult names either out loud or silently. Once you've seen Mr. Tanzeem or Ms. Ahnangatoguk's name in letters, it becomes easier to remember. While the sound of the name may vanish into the reaches of memory, the spelling will remain.

SAY THE PERSON'S NAME OUT LOUD EARLY IN THE CONVERSATION

When you meet someone, you probably say "hello," and then give your own name. If instead you say, "Hello, Joe Banks, I'm Lynne Curry," you'll increase your chances of remembering the person's name by 50 percent. Out loud repetition is even more effective than silent repetition because you're more actively working your memory.

USE THE NAME IN CONVERSATION

Using a person's name in the first three minutes after meeting a person increases your chance of remembering the name when you next meet him or her. The repetition reinforces the linkage between the person's face and his name.

Once you've practiced repeating new acquaintances' names, you'll notice that there are many opportunities to use anyone's name in conversation without it sounding strange. You'll also notice that most people like hearing their own name.

USE THE NAME WHEN EXITING THE CONVERSATION

If you'll use the person's name one last time as you end a conversation with them, for example, "It was good to meet you, Joe," you'll likely capture the name in memory for weeks.

TURN YOUR MEMORY ON BY MOTIVATION

If you've raised teenagers, you know many of them forget to do things you ask, but can remember the names of everyone in a music group or the batting average of every player on their favorite team. We remember what we want to.

Thus, if you want to increase your chances of remembering something, start by considering why it's important for you to remember it. The more attention you focus on what's happening around you, the more you'll notice and remember.

WRITE THE NAME

Visual memory is stronger than auditory or verbal memory. If you've ever made a list of items to buy at the store and left the list at home, you probably noticed you could recall all or most of the items on the list. Simply writing a name and looking at it will increase your chances of remembering the name.

GIVE MEMORY A CHANCE

When you meet a person weeks after the first meeting, give your memory a chance. We expect our memory to be instant. When we first see a person, we expect the name to immediately flash across our mind.

Since memory holds a huge quantity of information, it takes several seconds for our minds to process many associations and come up with the right name. If you expect an instant remembrance, your memory can appear to shut down as anxiety forms a sure-fire barrier that blocks memory. So, give your memory a chance.

Relax and think back to anything you can remember about the person. Associated events and information help your sorting process, and by remaining calm you give your mental searching process a chance to work. If you need to, you can buy yourself time by clearing your throat, adjusting your glasses or taking a deep breath.

REMEMBER

Would you like to be able to remember the names of the people you meet? If so, look at people when you first meet them so you'll be able to later link the sound of their name to their faces. Make sure you hear new names clearly - you can't memorize what you can't clearly hear. Say the name out loud in greeting and in conversation if you can. If not, mentally repeat the name to yourself. If the name is unusual, try to spell it. And finally - give your memory a chance to work and exercise it daily.

http://ezinearticles.com/?No-Gimmick-Memory:-10-Simple-Strategies-for-Remembering-the-Names-of-Every-Single-Person-You-Meet&id=9137478