Social Skills That Will Help You Become Accepted And Admired

It is everyone's true desire to be accepted and admired. Being accepted and Admired is entirely up to you. All it takes is the ability to pick up a few significant social skills that help build emotional awareness. There are some noteworthy social skills that can be learned quite quickly.

Below is a list of several ways you can become more accepted and admired and become the most likable person in the room.

1. When first meeting someone for the first time you will want to make eye contact. This may sound like a simple thing to do but so many fail miserably at doing it. This remains one of the most impactful mistakes a person can make when conversing with someone. When you are able to look a person in the eyes it shows that you are full of confidence and poised. You will want to implement this skill immediately. Just know that it requires no training or special talent. It just takes the commitment to look a person in the eyes while conversing with them.

2. After looking the person in the eyes you want to give them a firm handshake. You don't want to crush their hand, but you want them to know that you are a person of substance. You don't want to want to wimp out by shaking hands with a limp and feeble handshake. Research shows that people decide whether or not they like you within several seconds of meeting you. A firm handshake contributes largely to that first impression, as does a strong carriage and confident body language.

3. Hey, don't forget to give the other person that bright warm smile along with the first two skills I just covered. It is OK to laugh and tell jokes for the most part. Most people unconsciously mirror the people they are communicating with. If you want to be accepted and admired, try using positive body language. What you put out is usually what you get back in return.

4. Rule of thumb; cut your cell phone off and put it away. There is nothing ruder than a person constantly looking down at their cell phone while you are trying to converse with them. It would be to your best interest to keep your phone put away until after your meeting is over. For those that don't know, that's just plain common courtesy. Once again, this requires no training or special talent to do.

5. If you want to gain positive points with the person that you are conversing with, you will want to call them by name. Everyone wants to go where everyone knows their name. If nothing else, you may want to write this one down and don't forget it. So, the next time when someone uses your name or uses your name during a conversation, think back and remember just how good it felt when they did it. Now, if you have trouble remembering peoples names you might want to use a trick I use when first meeting people. I try to write their name down on something and I try to use their name as many times as I can when I first meet them. This helps me remember their name right away.

6. Finally, you want to actively listen to the person you are conversing with. Simply hearing words doesn't make the grade. People that want to be accepted and admired should learn the forgotten art of listening. Most people are thinking about what they are going to say before the other person has finished speaking. This is why people cut off a person while they are talking. By you doing such a thing shows that you are very disrespectful and unconcerned with what the other person is saying.

Active listening consists of several steps: The first step would be hearing the person you are conversing with. The second step to listening would be to interpret what the other person is saying without interrupting them. The third step would be evaluating what was said by the other person. The last step would be waiting for the right time to respond to what the other person has said.

Now you are armed with the vital information that the pros are armed with. These skills are learnable and coachable. It does not take a brain scientist to follow any of these steps mentioned in this article but the willingness to execute them.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Social-Skills-That-Will-Help-You-Become-Accepted-And-Admired&id=9872728

Rekindle Your Relationship With Mindfulness

Too often in a long-term relationship partners stop the very behaviors that connected them with one another and not because they stop loving each other but because they begin to take the other one for granted. Sensual and gratifying behaviors are lost, such as looking deeply into one another's eyes, mouth to mouth kisses, sexual innuendo, offering your partner focused attention, active listening, random compliments, gifts, etc.

What is it that you have stopped doing? What has your partner stopped doing? What behaviors would you like to rekindle in your relationship?

How can Mindfulness help you rekindle your relationship?

Mindfulness is a practice of awareness in the present moment. Dr. John Gottman, relationship expert and researcher, describes successful long-term unions as a "string of pearls" made up of mindful moments of connection and appreciation. The happiest and healthiest couples do not necessarily spend a lot of time in conversation but they have a myriad of ways of mindfully connecting with one another in the present moment.

Walton and Kathryn were a couple who maintained mindful connection for 60 years despite financial hardship, two jobs, and four children. Their laughter was their prosperity during hard times. Their joy and pleasure in one another was the wealth in poverty. Their love was the antidote to sorrow.

Their daughter, Jan, shared that she thought all parents went to sleep laughing and sharing affection at night because her bedroom shared a common wall with her parents'. Joy and laughter are forms of mindful connection to one another in the present moment.

When Walton was dying, he told a group of us who stopped by the story of how he and Kathryn had a hurried wedding so he could go off to the Second World War and that she was still his sweetheart after 60 years. She sat beside him and beamed. Walton and Kathryn are an inspirational couple who maintained a mindful connection over time. We have all seen such couples but what lessons can we apply to our relationships?

In order to have a relationship as successful as theirs, mindful training is a plus. Mindful training includes practice of focusing on the breath to calm down and experience the present moment, and deliberately sending compassion to self and others.

In order to maintain a healthy relationship, partners should make a habit to manifest affection towards one another. Physical affection boosts testosterone in a woman and oxytocin in a man and increases his bonding with her. Just mindfully thinking about your partner with feelings of loving-kindness can boost the pleasure chemical dopamine and lower stress hormones adrenalin and cortisol. You get a kind of pleasurable chemical shower.

One of the most effective acts is mindfully kissing on the mouth. That is because lips are incredibly sensitive. "Of the 12 or 13 cranial nerves that affect cerebral functions, five are at work when we kiss". (Scientific American). In addition, kissing on the mouth allows for exchange of saliva that can help boost the immune system of both partners. Human beings are wired for connection, so practice mindfully bringing yourself into the present moment to enjoy all the sensations generated by an intimate kiss.

In order to maintain a healthy relationship, partners should make a habit to share affection daily. Physical affection boosts testosterone in a woman and oxytocin in a man and increases his bonding with her. Sex therapist, David Schnarch, recommends a type of mindful intimate connection called "eyes open" sex so couples maintain prescient awareness of one another during the sexual experience.

PRACTICES

Physical affection and sex offer a myriad of opportunities to practice mindfulness with your partner.

As you kiss on the lips, notice how your body feels as you attend to the sensations of the present moment.

Remember what behaviors you had when you first fell in love and mindfully repeat those behaviors.

Mindfully look into your partner's eyes with compassion for his/her struggles.

Find ways to connect mindfully with your partner in the present moment through laughter, mutual memories, walks, and shared affection. This becomes a positive bank account of emotions so, when times are hard, you have these connections.

Initiate sexual contact and use all your senses to experience the moment. Look into your partner's eyes, play special music, savor the touch of skin, smell scented candles or massage oil. Always return to the sensations of the present moment.

It is possible to mindfully cultivate a compassionate awareness of your partner by following these steps:

Sit quietly for five minutes at a time and pay attention to your breathing. Since mindfulness is a practice, it is better to do this for longer. However, short segments can also be helpful.

Feel the breath moving into your heart with kindness and care and repeat: "May I be free of suffering. May I be at peace". Allow yourself to be healed. Continue repeating "May I be healed. May I be free of suffering" with each breath.

Imagine loving kindness with each breath. Continue breathing as you focus on your loving kindness and relating to yourself with tenderness while sending well-being into your mind and body. Repeat for a number of breaths: "May I find my greatest joy. May I heal into my true nature".

Now bring your mind to your partner and imagine that you can send them warmth and kindness. With each breath think, "May you be free of suffering. May you be at peace.". Continue the breathing of connection and this wish for their happiness and wholeness, repeating: "May you be free of suffering. May you know your deepest joy, your greatest peace.". Continue and picture your partner's presence with a wish for their healing and deepest joy.

To rekindle your relationship, mindfully pay attention and treat your partner as you treated him/her in the beginning. Don't take him/her for granted and most important: enjoy moments spent together, living it in the present. This is what mindfulness is about!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Rekindle-Your-Relationship-With-Mindfulness&id=9337350

6 Secrets Of Excellent Conversationalists

The solution to the age-old problem of understanding others may be as simple as taking the time to improve your active listening skills. Active listening is all about building rapport, understanding, and trust.

Your "likability" factor is largely determined by your ability to effectively listen to client and customer suggestions and successfully respond to their needs, requests, and concerns. But you don't have to be born with the gift of gab to become an expert communicator.

Here are six tips to help you become a better listener and actually hear what others are saying, not just what you think they are saying or what you want to hear.

1. Show a real interest.

When you speak to someone, especially in a busy or loud environment, give him or her your full attention. If you find yourself distracted or can't hear them well, ask to move to a quieter area.

Practice empathetic listening. Put yourself in his or her shoes and try to see the situation through his or her eyes. Ask questions and encourage the other person to elaborate. Even if you haven't experienced the same situation, try sharing a personal story about a time when you felt similarly.

2. Use the magic words: "Tell me."

Most people will cherish the opportunity to share their stories and experiences. To start a conversation, use the two most powerful words in conversation: "Tell me." Successful conversationalists avoid questions that may be answered with a simple yes or no.

Ask open-ended questions and then listen. For example, you may say, "Tell me, Joe, what prompted you to start your own business?" Or ask for their input, "I'd like to take my family on a vacation this summer. Tell me, do you have a favorite vacation spot?" When you choose a topic of conversation that demonstrates interest in the other person, the discussion will flow more smoothly.

3. Say the other person's name.

Dale Carnegie once said, "A person's name is to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language." Any business acquaintance will be flattered and impressed if you remember his or her name. If you have difficulty remembering names, set out to practice as frequently as possible.

When you meet someone for the first time, say the person's name immediately. Respond with something like, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Frank." Then use their name a couple of times throughout your conversation. When the conversation ends, say their name one last time: "I really enjoyed meeting you, Jim."

4. Agree heartily; disagree softly.

When someone agrees with you, it establishes an instant bond. Suddenly, you both have something in common. However, the strongest professional relationships exhibit mutual respect and admiration, even in disagreements. Tolerance and respect for others, especially when they disagree with you, is vital to successful networking.

If you strongly disagree with someone's opinion, softly communicate that you don't see it the same way. Ask questions and allow the person to fully express his or her reasoning.

5. Talk less; listen more.

When someone speaks to you, listen with your whole body. Nod, make eye contact, and be fully engaged in what they have to say. Attentive listening will build trust and help you establish a professional relationship. When given the opportunity, ask pertinent questions, which will help demonstrate your sincere interest.

If you don't understand, ask for specifics. You could ask a clarifying question such as, "If I hear you correctly, you're saying…Is that right?" It's best to confirm your assumptions rather than risk a miscommunication.

6. Don't interrupt or change the subject.

Many assertive professionals finish others' sentences out of habit. If you jump in and interrupt someone's sentence, you prevent him or her from fully expressing his or her thoughts. Though your intentions may be good, the other person may perceive you to be a know-it-all or in a rush. Or worse, the person may think you are trying to put words in his or her mouth.

Always permit the other person enough time to finish their thought before you respond. Your patience and thoughtfulness will be appreciated.

http://www.businessinsider.com/secrets-of-excellent-conversationalists-2014-8