Expectations Reality

William Shakespeare said "Expectation is the root of all heartaches"

In life, things don't always go as planned. We lay our scenarios in our heads, of everything going perfectly, and looking great, without a hitch or flaw. But let's be honest things almost never go down the way we think. We humans make our own fantasy world and think according to that, but reality is much different. I am not saying having expectations is wrong, we all do expect something from someone. A father does from his child, we from our friends and family and the list is never ending. But the thing is, sometimes we expect a lot from other people. We expect more from them because we would be willing to do that much from them.

Many of us have been in a situation where we felt helpless just because someone terminated our feelings. But this is how the life goes on. The only expectations we should have is from ourselves. We should keep our expectations high on achievements and low on people. There is no reason to feel disappointed, just let the things happen. we should have our goals high. It's better to be surprised than to be disappointed.

Successful people are successful because they are goal oriented. They don't expect anything from others but only from them. So we should have our dreams high and expectations even higher for ourselves. Because we are the writer of our own story, no one else will sail the boat of our lives. So don't expect more from the world. Be confident. Have the courage to face the world, be patient.

Thus I would like to conclude by quoting these lines from the Bhagwad Gita "Far better to live your own path imperfectly than to live another's perfectly."

"BEING JUDGED"

Have you ever thought that you are being judged? Don't worry. There will always be one person sitting somewhere in the world finding faults in you right now. No matter how you walk, dress, talk, no matter what you do, no matter what you don't do, they are going to judge you.

We are surrounded by a huge number of people. They include our family, friends, and people we haven't heard names of. Except a few of them everyone else is judging you.

If you drink, smoke- they'll judge you.

If you are a girl and roam with your guy friends they'll judge you.

If you don't talk too much, they'll say you are snobbish.

If you start any conversation, they'll say that you are way easy.

If you decide to please yourself first, they'll judge you by saying that you are selfish.

If you don't go out for a round of beers, they'll say you are boring.

Thousand other examples would suffice this argument, but it's pointless. Negativity will always haunt you. It will want to tear you apart and strive to leave a tinge of sadness in your soul that can bring you down. And the only thing that can heal you are the positive vibes that we need to inculcate in ourselves. You know what is snobbish, selfish, easy, boring here... 'THEM'.

You will anyway be judged for everything you do, whether it's wrong or right. Just do what you feel is good until and unless it doesn't hurt anyone. Do what makes you happy, do what your heart wants you to do. Find a way that makes you stand apart and ignore the crowd.

In the end, it is the warm smile on your face after facing all the cruelness that will make people gaze in awe and make their mouth shut.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Expectations-Reality&id=9870094

My Vibrant Nature Is Contagious

It is important, when you lay out the plans of your life, that you consider your strong points, and the areas that need to be improved. Be confident and excited about your abilities, that allow you to take on the world. If you want to go far in life, you have to be excited about your dreams and goals. You have to feel the desire vibrating in your body. Most of our goals and dreams involve other people, who we will be working with. Your excitement will be contagious, and spark the desire and excitement in others. Feeling the excitement, instills a positive attitude in you, which allows you to take on anything that comes your way. You will confront any obstacle with a smile on your face, giving you the extra energy to breeze right passed it.

Your energetic and vibrant nature shows the world that you are confident, and not afraid to pursue your dreams. Your confidence attracts people into your life, who want what you have. Your vibrant nature makes you a leader, a person people want to follow. Most people go through life not really knowing what they want to do with their life. They have no plan, no goals, no dreams, existing from month to month. It is a rare exception when you meet a person who knows where they are going, and are confident in their ability to achieve their objectives. You can be that person. You can be the "fisher of man", who attracts people, because of your energetic and vibrant nature. You are setting the example of a successful, and confident person, who knows who they are, and knows exactly where they are going. Are you excited, and ready to share your energetic and vibrant nature with the people around you? Helping them to spark a fire in their life, something they have not had in their life before? Are you ready to set somebody's world on fire?

Many of us take life for granted. We always keep postponing the things we have to do, and by the end of the day, we have a lot of unfulfilled obligations. Sometimes we forget the fact that time waits for no man, and the time that has passed, is gone forever, never to be seen again. Life is so precious, that you should live it like there is no tomorrow. It has been said many times, "tomorrow never comes", and if you are living with unfulfilled dreams, then you know that this is the truth. Learning is another part of life that many of us take for granted, or even completely ignore. The opportunity to learn things that will help us in life, should never be ignored. Learning new things never stops. In fact, we must realize, that we are eternal students.

http://ezinearticles.com/?My-Vibrant-Nature-Is-Contagious&id=9354747

Message From the Universe: Where Logic Has NOTHING to Do With Your Reality!

"What if every single decision you ever made was the right one, all things considered?

They were, and you totally rock.

What Would Do? 

The Universe"

Yes, I know, I just stated something IMPOSSIBLE, or I should say: IMPROBABLE. Obviously, no one is perfect enough to be right, ALL OF THE TIME. But let's analyze this for a second. The decision you will make today will have direct repercussion in your life and probably, in others as well. Depending how you are related, your decision can affect the well being of others, either it being positive or negative. It is obvious that you will do everything in your power to think things out properly before jumping quickly into action. You want to make sure that all options are presented to you so you can select the one that will render the best results. This is human nature, and many adapt this approach in their everyday life. What would you do if every decision you made was right? Now, when I say that it doesn't mean that it was right in the eyes of others, but primarily right for you. That's what counts right? Of course, when you have people depending on you, such as kids or spouse or siblings, you will need to take into consideration many factors prior to making decisions so everyone comes out a winner. All things considered, you will feel accomplished, like a king, like a master that knows NO WRONG. Amazing feeling isn't it? This is how you should feel when you look at your life when you take action. Be confident with your decisions.

I agree that life doesn't always offer you these opportunities of being right all the time, but when you are not, you need to admit to it and confess. It is your responsibility to understand that your decisions today will have an impact tomorrow or in the near future. Be ready to assume responsibilities for your action and correct them at all cost. When you screw up, you fess up and this is what many have difficulties in doing. They rather stop talking to the person they did wrong instead of making amend. This is definitely a good way to screw yourself up in the future. People make mistakes, it is a part of life and admitting to these mistakes is what will make you a better person for yourself and everyone else. There is no need to hide behind your wrongdoings, just come out and breathe the air around you and start fresh. Most importantly, learning to apologize will take you very far in life, no matter if it wasn't all your fault.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Where-Logic-Has-NOTHING-to-Do-With-Your-Reality!&id=9506587

How To Boost Self-Confidence - Your Powerful Guide To Help You Start

It would be great to have this outlook and you can be that person, too. This article contains some tips on how to be confident.

1. Avoid Negativity and Always Be Positive

You may need to assess your inner circle, such as your family and friends. While this is hard, it may be time to consider staying away from the people who shred your confidence and put you down.

Always be positive, even when you do not feel it quite yet. Have a positive enthusiasm with the way you interact with others and keep your excitement when starting a new project. Instead of focusing on your problems, start thinking about how to resolve them and make positive changes.

2. Do Not Accept Failure

Do not give up and always think that all problems have solutions. It will boost your confidence when you succeed through an immense hardship.

Negative thoughts often cause low self-esteem. If you always say that you are not good enough, you will become what you are thinking. When you are feeling any negativity, turn it right away to positive encouragement and try to maintain it until you have that self-confidence boost.

3. Make Some Changes

Your body language and facial expressions play an important role in building your confidence. By simply pulling your shoulders back, it will give the impression to others that you are confident. When you smile to people, they will be more comfortable with you and you will also feel better.

Make eye contact to the one you are talking to and speak slowly. Take time to speak clearly and slowly so you will appear more confident to others. Moreover, they will actually understand what you are telling them.

It will also help if you dress nicely and style your hair. This will give you more confidence, make you feel good about yourself, and others will likely see you as confident and successful.

4. Always Be Prepared

Discover everything that you need to know about your task, presentation, field, or no matter what you would do next. If you are equipped with knowledge and always prepared, this will help you increase your self-confidence.

5. Make a Great List

There are times in life when it is really hard to stay confident because of all those difficulties that you encounter. Relax and take a moment to create a list of everything that you are grateful for, and another list for your accomplishments that you are proud of.

After completing your lists, post them on a wall by your desk, on your mirror, on your refrigerator door, or anywhere you can easily see to remind you that you have a wonderful life. If you think that your confidence is dropping, just look at those lists and feel inspired again.

The most significant secret to increasing self-confidence is to take a small action day after day that helps you to build up about your body and mind.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Boost-Self-Confidence---Your-Powerful-Guide-To-Help-You-Start&id=9387287

How To Be Confident At Work

We all have self doubts sometimes.

If your confidence is threatened, there are things you can always do to restore. Some of them are as follows:

- Be focused. When at work, it's always good to stay focused. Do what is required at the right time and with the correct practices.

- Ask questions. It is recommended to ask questions when you are not sure of what to do or when you're not familiar with the procedures. Ask questions about the quality of work you need to submit and how to be the best in what you do.

- Ask for feedback. Once you perform a task, it's polite to ask for feedback. This will help you to know if you are on the right track with task performances at work. You will also know how people regard your work.

- Accept mistakes. We are not always perfect. We all are human and we make mistakes. Accept your mistakes and work to correct them.

- Trust your gut. Think positively and trust your gut feelings. Most of the time they are right. It is always good to believe in your self and to believe in your work too.

- Find supportive workmates. It's good to associate yourself with positive people who well help you with challenges and build up on your self-confidence. They will also assist you whenever you need help without criticizing you.

- Boost your knowledge. At work, it's good to read a lot and research more to add knowledge. Knowing how certain processes and tasks are done will help you to be confident.

- Do personal training. Once you learn that you are not familiar with some procedures at work, it is good to self-train so that you are not stuck. Try doing tasks at work alone to see how well you can manage.

- Be positive. It's recommended that you think positively. Take your criticism positively and work on them. Negativity will only make things worse.

- Have fun. At work, make sure you enjoy what you do and have fun with it. It is not advisable to embark on work that doesn't make you happy as you will not be able to do your best in it.

- Be thorough. Go through your work, eliminate your mistakes and research well. When presenting you will be confident knowing you gave it your best and it's of the best quality.

Put a smile on your face, dress smart and be confident. Everyone will notice it.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Be-Confident-At-Work&id=9472789

How to Deal with Social Pressure and Follow Your Own Path

Do you want to overcome shyness or anxiety and be confident and charismatic? Do you want to make effortless conversation with anyone, make friends and get dates easily?

Sometimes your goals and behaviors, even though they make rational sense, will come into conflict with the way others would like you to act and live. When this happens, such people may try to make you conform using emotional tools such as sarcasm, criticism, withdrawal of approval, threats or rejection.

The use of such tools by a number of people to exert influence over you is what’s known as social pressure. It’s a force meant to make you conform to the will of others around you and, more broadly, to the standards of society.

I’ve had many conversations with people who’ve made numerous sacrifices in life due to social pressure. Almost without exception, when they look back, they regret having given in to the desires of others instead of doing what they truly wanted to do.

This is why it’s key to know how to deal with social pressure. It frees you to follow your own path in life and do so without any shame. With this in mind, I’d like to give you a few practical ideas:

1. Remember That the Majority Is Often Wrong

Social pressure is often a powerful force because when several people show disapproval towards something we do, we automatically assume they are right and we are wrong, since we are alone and they are many. Our minds tend to operate on the principle that the majority is always correct.

However, in practice, that is frequently not true. In fact, let’s face it: most people don’t really know what they’re talking about most of the time. They believe various ideas simply because they’ve been exposed to them thousands of times from a young age (which is basic indoctrination) and they never bothered to question them; then they go through life following those ideas, living unimpressive lives, and expecting others to do the same.

So when you consider this, it makes no sense to give authority to an idea just because a lot of people believe it. If anything, it’s probably a sign it’s a flawed idea. This is something to always bear in mind when confronted with social pressure.

2. Don’t Blow Things Out Of Proportion

Sometimes social pressure can take pretty rough forms. Like if your whole family threatens to kick you out of the house and disown you unless you get married. It’s not a tragedy, but it’s not a pleasant situation either.

However, the vast majority of times, social pressure takes light and brief forms. Like if your friends tease you a couple of times when going out for not drinking alcohol, or a few people give you weird looks on the street because you’re dressed in an unusual way.

It’s common though for individuals dealing with such minor events to mentally make a really big deal out of them. They start thinking that everybody hates them, and that they are complete screw-ups. Their minds dramatize and exaggerate.

When dealing with social pressure, it’s important to notice how you think about it, and keep your thinking in check (here is more detailed advice on how to do this). Acknowledge what’s happening, but don’t blow it out of proportions. It will save you a lot of stress.

3. Develop a Strong Sense of Self

In my experience as a confidence and communication coach, there is strong correlation between how sensitive a person is to social pressure and how weak their sense of self is.

People with a weak sense of self let how others see them define them, and abundant approval from others is the one crucial factor that makes them feel good about themselves. Conversely, if others disagree with them or disapprove their conduct, they instantly feel invalidated and worthless.

Cultivating a strong sense of self implies getting to know yourself and your strengths, developing a positive self-image, and improving your social confidence.

4. Find People Who Accept You as You Are

The fact many people don’t approve of what you do or how you do it doesn’t mean that all of humanity is rejecting you. But it can often feel that way; unless there are also people in your life who accept you the way you are.

These people can be either A) like-minded people, who are similar to you in goals and behavior, or B) open-minded people, who have a lot of tolerance towards diversity.

Such people are great because they confirm that being true to yourself is not a death sentence for your social life. It’s reassuring to know that you can follow your path, and even though many will object, some people are fine with it and will keep being your friends.

If you lack such people in your social circle, I encourage you wholeheartedly to find them and keep them close. Get involved in social events, meet new people, get to know them better and spot the ones who accept you as you are. Make friends with such people and foster those friendships. For an unconventional person in particular, they are priceless.

Once you’ve learned to deal with it, social pressure is really no big deal. All that will truly matter to you is that you understand why you wanna do what you wanna do, and it feels right to you.

You’ll feel motivated to follow your own path and you won’t be distracted by herd-like opposition. You’ll live true to yourself and you’ll be proud of yourself for it.

http://www.peopleskillsdecoded.com/social-pressure/

Master This One Skill And It Will Take You Far

Developing your communication skills will lead to success

Whether you are an aspiring leader or in a support role, developing your communication skills can impact your success. First, let's take a look at the complexities of communication. It's more than the words you use. It's how and when you choose to share information. It's your body language and the tone and quality of your voice.

These are things you should consider as you strive to improve your interactions with others:

Know the outcome. Before you begin planning what you will say in an upcoming meeting, consider what you want the outcome of your communication to be. What actions do you want others to take? How will you move people? That's the term used in Daniel Pink's "To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others." Pink contends that we are all in sales today. "Whether we're employees pitching colleagues on a new idea, entrepreneurs enticing funders to invest or parents and teachers cajoling children to study, we spend our days trying to move others."

Build a reputation. In the workplace, other people's perceptions of you don't form based on a single encounter. But never forget how valuable a good first impression is! In order to gain respect and be seen as a trusted authority, eager team member or dedicated employee, you will need to build your reputation over time. Every interaction -- from how you greet your co-workers in the morning to how you summarize a status update in an email -- contributes to how people view you.

Avoid flaunting power and intellect. Compelling communicators don't strong-arm people into paying attention or dazzle listeners by showing off how much they know. Leave your ego at the door when speaking to people. Establish an even playing field, and place yourself at the same level with your listeners. Avoid a condescending tone of voice and terminology your audience will not immediately understand. While you may be the smartest, most knowledgeable person on a particular topic, wait for the invitation to share your expertise.

Be confident. A wimpy response isn't going to gain the recognition or support you desire. Confidence is queen when it comes to effective communication. Use strong action verbs, avoid filler words, such as "um"' or "'ah," look people in the eye and sit or stand up straight when called on to speak.

Show awareness of others. Shoving your great ideas or accomplishments down throats of listeners isn't going to work. Building relationships is part of the communication process and is key to your success in conveying your message. When you deeply understand how your audience thinks and feels and what is important to them, you can use that information to craft a message that will resonate with your listeners. Your message should imply concern for others. As the saying goes, "walk a mile in their shoes" to understand what's important to the people you are communicating with.

Consider timing. There is a time and a place for everything. When you are aware of the events or emotional state of those you are communicating with, you can improve the timing of your message. Appropriate timing means you have taken the person and occasion into consideration and know when to share your message.

Master the art of listening. The most adept communicators are experts at listening and reading between the lines. Mastering the art of listening isn't easy. You will most likely feel tempted to share your own insights, opinions or assumptions while listening to someone. Avoid commentary or interjecting. Instead, ask open ended follow-up questions. This provides evidence that you are hearing and listening to the person. It shows your respect for the person speaking and for the information they are sharing. Practising good listening skills will help you gain the respect of those you encounter.

Earn respect and trust. Earning respect and trust from your colleagues, managers and customers doesn't happen automatically. Your title and role don't give you any special privileges. If you work hard to exceed expectations and deliver with integrity, you are on your way to establishing the right to be trusted. Consistently repeat these steps to earn the right to be heard.

All these things probably sound familiar. You've read them before. What you really want is concrete help in improving your communication. There are thousands of books on the topic of communication. These self-help books can arm you with more insight and tools to improve your understanding of the intricacies of communication, but there is nothing as powerful as practising what you learn.

Here's how to develop your communication skills:

Learn from mentors. Enlist help from managers or leaders you respect. These mentors can provide constructive feedback and real-time coaching.

Watch TED Talks. Learn how to present by watching innovative thinkers featured in TED Talks. In 18 minutes or less, these videos capture presentations of great communicators. Since 2006, TED has been hosting conferences and events centred around science, technology, business, culture, art and design to share – as TED puts it – "Ideas Worth Spreading."

Join Toastmasters International. Join a Toastmasters club, and build your skills in a "learn-by-doing" meeting. Toastmasters International has been around 90 years helping members improve their communication, public speaking and leadership skills.

Attend a Dale Carnegie program. Go to one of Dale Carnegie's well-known leadership development programs, which are based on his legendary book, "How to Win Friends & Influence People." According to the Dale Carnegie Training website, these programs teach you how to: "strengthen interpersonal relationships, manage stress and handle fast-changing workplace conditions." The description continues: "You'll develop more effective communication skills and be better equipped to perform as a persuasive communicator, problem-solver and focused leader. And you'll develop a take-charge attitude initiated with confidence and enthusiasm."

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2014/09/03/master-this-one-skill-and-it-will-take-you-far/