How To Love Yourself Through The Difficult Times When There's Little Growth

Dare To Go Deep Into Your Being

The way we treat ourselves in difficult moments says a lot about who we are. It's easy to be on top of the world when things are going right and we want to hold on to this feeling hoping it will last forever. Yet when it doesn't, it feels like we're bound to train tracks with an oncoming train headed our way and unable to move.

How we act towards ourselves in our darkest moment's lays the foundation for who we become later on. Self-love is a difficult concept for many to grasp. I've had countless coaching sessions with people who find it hard to love and appreciate themselves. This primarily stems from our formative years and the messages we received from our parents or caregivers. They become entrenched into our psyche and nervous system and, if reinforced, are difficult to let go of. However, difficult does not mean impossible.

Is this something you've experienced? For example, how do you treat yourself when things don't go your way? When your significant other breaks up with you or your health or finances suffer. What is your inner dialogue during these times? I've experienced pain and suffering throughout my life in the form of losing my father to illness, a relationship break up, a health crisis and financial woes. There were times I found it difficult to appreciate myself because of the despairing inner dialogue that convinced me it was my fault for being in this situation. I felt stuck, helpless and hopeless to navigate my way out.

It is why I wrote my first book because it was a theme I was intimate with and new well. However, I recognised that being stuck in my circumstances was not who I am. It was not the narrative I wanted to live, nor succumb to. I knew somewhere deep within me there was a presence yearning to express itself but I didn't know how to get in touch with it. I wanted to love and nurture myself with compassion instead of negative self-talk. Gradually, I noticed my conditions began to shift and my inner dialogue changed when I started meditating. I was an anxious person then, but this shifted to a calm and peaceful person over the coming years. I dared to go deep into my being and connect with the love within me.

Breaking Down The Old And Tired Ways Of Living

The love within us awaits you to come home to it. It is your palace of refuge, a place that knows no bounds, other than to receive you in its arms and awaken you to your authentic self. The self-love I speak of begins by recognising that difficult moments do not last. They come and go from our lives to awaken us to the greater intelligence within us vested in love, light and true refuge. To love yourself through difficult times when there's little growth requires you trust that what is taking place is doing so to help you let go of the ruins of the past. It is breaking down the old and tired ways of living so a new foundation of strength and love can emerge from your authentic self.

The spiritual teacher and author Matt Kahn offers us the wisdom in his book Everything Is Here to Help You: A Loving Guide to Your Soul's Evolution that love is more than an emotion but a wellspring of compassion that resides within us and our task is to bring it forth: "From a spiritual perspective, love isn't an emotion we feel all the time. Love is an unwavering depth of compassion and empathy that reaches inward to embrace our experiences-no matter how mixed up, shut down, unfulfilled, or overwhelmed we tend to be. When rooted in the vibration of love, we don't have to be completely healed to bring forth the kindness and care that already dwells within us."

There is a source of love within you that beckons you to connect with it. Don't take my word for it because it appears on your screen. Unite with this loving presence by standing in front of a mirror and reciting the words: "I love you" the moment you finish reading this article. Recite those three-letter words when you feel joy and happiness or when you are angry or depressed. Recite them as often as you can because you're outside conditions do not have to dictate how you love yourself. The love I speak of is always there waiting for you to come home to it. The more you connect with this infinite presence, the greater it will be known throughout your life. The way we treat ourselves through difficult times says a lot about who we are because who we are is an energy of love. If we make time to connect with this presence more often, we will realise that our difficulties serve a purpose; to return us to the wholeness of our true self.

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To Fully Heal, We Must First Find Meaning In Our Trauma

Make Healing Your Responsibility

Each of us carries wounds from childhood. For some the pain is intense, bringing with it a sense of relived trauma. While others may not be fully aware of their wounds, even when triggered by external events. Life is difficult and complex at times. We're not born with an instruction manual and must learn to cope with life as we go along. Has this been your experience in life? One minute, things don't make sense and the next something comes along that you're not prepared for? We never know what life has in store for us but we can use this to our advantage, much like a surfer anticipating the next big wave that will take them on a wild ride.

To heal the past, we must find meaning in our trauma, otherwise we become victims instead of co-creators of our life's experience. I've written in earlier articles of my strained relationship with my father while growing up. He was a strict disciplinarian and I couldn't live up to his expectations. This caused me emotional pain because nothing I did was ever good enough in his opinion. Therefore, I constantly sought to appease him to make happy. This worked for a short while, however, there was always something waiting around the corner to undermine him. I don't intend to paint a grim picture of my father. He was a wonderful man with great qualities, but his parenting style was the opposite to my mother's, which made it difficult to related to him as a child.

Have you experienced something similar with a parent or caregiver? No matter what you did, they were never satisfied and so you tried harder? This is the underlying basis to people pleasing, where the child tries to win the favour of their parents. Finding meaning in my emotional trauma meant forgiving my father for his heavy-handed ways. As Denise Frogman refers to in the title quote: I made healing my responsibility, even though the wounds were not my fault. It is been over two decades since my father's passing, yet it took me years to forgive him and find meaning in my experience. It took on momentum one day during meditation when I sensed his tough disciplining was a call for me to learn self-love.

Commit To Healing The Wounds Of The Past

Excluding childhood abuse, there are often important lessons contained within our childhood experiences. Sometimes, it means excavating the past like an archaeologist and sorting through the ruins. There was an Instagram post recently that caught my attention that said: "Nobody really tells you this but sometimes the healing hurts more than the wound." I can attest to this having worked through my healing and helped many others to heal their pain through coaching. This is where people tend to turn away and give up on themselves because the wounds are too difficult to face. Rather than run away, we ought to tune into them and make peace with what is holding us back. Is this something you're willing to give your attention to? It is why many don't take the journey into themselves to heal their traumas. Healing is a difficult and sometimes a long journey that requires a commitment to move through it boldly.

To find meaning in our trauma requires digging up the past and deciding what is worth keeping and what should be left behind. This can be difficult because no one wants to process pain, especially when things are going well. But if we don't turn towards our pain with openness and compassion, it will come barrelling down on us when we least expect it. It will strike us like a cargo train out of control and all we can do is brace for impact. So, we must decide to work through it at our own pace. In doing so, we heal the past and gain new insights about our ourselves. I discovered an abiding spirit of resiliency and tenacity throughout my healing journey. I never knew I could withstand the pain until I undertook the journey into myself.

How about you? Are you willing to heal your wounds and find meaning in your trauma? Perhaps some of you are already on that journey, working through it alone or with a trained therapist. Be kind and compassionate with yourself because healing is a courageous and worthwhile gift to ourselves. Discovering the essence of who we are, beneath our scars and wounds requires us to be sensitive to our emotional needs. Because the person who emerges from the pain is not the same person who experienced it. With this in mind, I'd like you to give some attention to the following questions: Are you truly committed to healing the wounds of the past? What do you hope to achieve through the healing process? Whom do you wish to become? Are there aspects of your past too painful to confront? It is once we take bold step towards wholeness that we transcend our trauma and find meaning in our experiences.

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What Is Wrong With Me? Healing From Toxic Shame

Lapses in confidence are common, but when we are left feeling like we have somehow fallen short regardless of our accomplishments, it might be time to look a bit deeper to find out what might be driving this feeling.

I remember a client of mine several years back asking, "How do I love myself? What does that even mean?" For someone who has been well initiated into shame, self-love is so far beyond their comprehension that it is like describing a different universe.

We develop shame through life experiences, social conditioning, and cultural indoctrination. In short, we believe we are bad because we had experiences where people made us feel that way-overtly or covertly. These experiences are most impactful in our childhood when we are much more easily conditioned. However, the right combination of experiences at any point in life can leave us believing in our worthlessness.

Shame is complex and can be difficult to take apart. Understanding how and why it develops can give us a bit of insight.

Children learn to regulate their behaviors by developing an emotional "clutch," located in the prefrontal cortex, that can turn the accelerator off when the brakes are applied and redirect their interest in more acceptable directions... An activated accelerator followed by the application of brakes leads to a nervous system response with a turning away of eye gaze, a feeling of heaviness in the chest, and a sinking feeling. (Dan Siegel and Mary Hartzell)

This internal mechanism helps the child learn how to get along well with others and regulate their behavior in a way that is socially compatible. This happens in a very healthy way if, along with the child's instinctual "braking," there is love and connection offered from the outside. If, on the other hand, love and connection are withdrawn, then the child will have a different interpretation of the events.

This does not happen after one episode. When the experience is repeated, and the more it is repeated, the child comes to believe that there is something wrong with them. They will come to believe that what is wrong with them is either something someone told them in conjunction with these events or a seemingly random problem they might have found in their environment.

One of the simplest ways to heal ourselves is to reverse the process that we experienced. In other words, if we lost love and connection when we had a shame reaction, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to connect and feel love when we start experiencing shame.

This is easier said than done, but each time that you can choose this, it will help you to feel less chronic shame, and through that, strengthen your sense of self-worth.

When trying to reconnect and heal from toxic shame, there are some important things to consider.

Is this person safe?

Are they capable of supporting me?

Do I know what will help me?

Do I have a back-up plan?

Is this person safe? Not all people are capable of meeting you as you try to connect and come out of shame. If you are not sure about your personal relationship, it may be helpful to first do this work with a professional to ensure the maximum safety for yourself. Even when working with a professional, try establishing the relationship's security before sharing highly sensitive material.

Are they capable of supporting me? Someone may love you a lot and be very trustworthy but lack the ability to show up in the way that you need during this vulnerable time. Sometimes, you will not know if someone is capable of supporting you until after you have tried. That is totally fine. However, if someone has proven themselves unable to show up in the way you need, you will be better off waiting to share with them until you have shed some layers of shame.

Do I know what will help me? Very often, the answer to this question is no. However, it is still worth thinking about and finding some answers to. When you know what you need, it is that much easier to get it for yourself. We often learn this by getting what we do not need and then using a process of elimination to learn what works best for us.

Do I have a back-up plan? Crossing this divide can seem really risky. There are reasons that you decided to hide rather than connect. Not every attempt is going to be met with success. In fact, your defense mechanisms might make it impossible to feel successful even if many successful features are present. Taking good care of yourself means knowing where you can go or how you can take care of yourself if your situation ends up being less than optimal. In time, as you grow in this skill, it becomes less necessary as the whole process will become easier.

It is helpful to keep in mind that the vast majority of people deal with some kind of shame that holds them back or shuts them down. You are not alone, and your bravery not only paves the way for your own expanded life, but also helps others heal from their shame.

https://ezinearticles.com/?What-Is-Wrong-With-Me?-Healing-From-Toxic-Shame&id=10026569

Self-Compassion - Same As Self-Love?

People fail. From time to time they mess up on the challenges of family relationships, life style, work etc. And when they blunder, they suffer adverse consequences. No wonder then that we speak of being kind and sympathetic to those who fail - who are struggling financially, emotionally, or interpersonally. But when it comes to our own problems, do we feel we ought to show the same thoughtfulness, the same gentleness, the same tolerance? Don't we need self-care as well as care for others? The mindfulness movement advocates we practice self-compassion.

"Self-compassion is a practice in which we learn to be a good friend for ourselves when we need it most - to become an inner ally rather than an inner enemy." (Kristein Neff & Christopher Germer, mindfulness teachers)

Why is self-compassion needed?

"All of us wish we'd had perfect childhoods, with a mother and father who modelled ideal parental attitudes and taught us to internalize the tenets of self-love. Many of us, however, did not." (Marianne Williamson, American author, spiritual leader, politician, and activist.)

Self-compassion and self-criticism

One can be sympathetically honest with a good friend regarding their weaknesses or mistakes.

"Sure, the job of high school teachers is not to tear down students' self-esteem. But it's certainly not to inflate students' sense of self-worth with a bunch of unearned compliments and half-truths." (L.Z. Granderson, American journalist)

Likewise having self-compassion and accepting our own faults does not mean agreeing with them. Honest self-acceptance can lead to correcting our mistakes. Self-evaluation is the vital first step towards personal change.

We can be self-critical without indulging in harsh self-criticism. Unless we honestly look at ourselves, we are in danger of self-justification, amounting to self-deception.

Self-compassion and self-pity

One can have sympathy towards one's own plight without being absorbed in oneself and wallowing in self-pity.

"Self-pity is never useful. It tends to distort like a fun-house mirror." (Anne Roiphe, American feminist and author)

"Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make." (Eckhart Tolle, spiritual author and teacher)

Self-indulgence

One can be kind to oneself without going on a self-indulgent binge or spending spree. Self-compassion is compatible with self-restraint.

I would suggest there has been a pressure on people to look perfect heightened by the celebrity culture. This has led to inadequate feelings particularly in many women exploited by advertising.

"L'Oreal's slogan 'because you're worth it' has come to epitomise banal narcissism of early 21st century capitalism; easy indulgence and effortless self-love all available at a flick of the credit card." (Geoff Mulgan, British social and political writer)

Self-interest

Loving oneself is good. For unless we love ourselves, how could we hope to love others? Likewise, without self-respect, how could we respect others?

There is a balance needed between love of self and love of others. A big difference lies between, on the one hand, having sufficient love and compassion for yourself and, on the other hand, narcistic self-love. The latter amounts to prioritising self-love which is never going to lead to feeling compassionate towards others in need. For when self-love rules, it results in self-serving, self-interest and selfishness.

"A modest dose of self-love is entirely healthy - who would want to live in a world where everyone hated themselves? But taken too far, it soon becomes poisonous." (Geoff Mulgan)

Lack of self-compassion blocks compassion for others.

Compassion for others may sound like a tall order. This is the case especially for those of us who lack self-compassion. But it is a higher calling.

Compassion is the key to living outside the confines of your lower self. (Debbie Ford, American self-help author and coach))

Can self-compassion as we have defined it, actually help us to find this deeper concern for others?

"Self-compassion encourages mindfulness, or noticing your feelings without judgment; self-kindness, or talking to yourself in a soothing way; and common humanity, or thinking about how others might be suffering similarly." (Rachel Simmons, American author)

How can we care for others if we cannot practice self-care? How can we be kind to others unless we are kind to ourselves? However, when we accept our own difficulty and unhappiness then we can better recognise that of others. Our pain is part of the shared human experience. Everyone makes mistakes and experiences hardships in life. As Kristein Neff & Christopher Germer point out, we are all flawed works in progress. When we see this then it helps us to feel connected with others in the same boat as ourselves. It facilitates a compassionate attitude towards our common humanity.

Self-compassion and Christian heritage

I see this growing interest in self-compassion as a healthy reaction against an unfortunate strand in our Western Christian heritage. This has been in my view a somewhat punitive notion of God. It assumes f there is a possibility the God who is love and mercy itself might not want to forgive us for any wrongdoing.

According to the analysis of spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg, this mistaken attitude stems from treating the biblical picture of multiple deity as literally true when it's meaning is metaphorical. Not three Gods but three aspects of the one God. As a result of this error a common image of God the Father has been one of wanting humankind to suffer for falling by the wayside. This anger, it is supposed, could only be appeased through the self-sacrifice of God the Son.

I would say this mistaken notion of deity has resulted in the traditional idea of 'original sin'. If true such a doctrine would mean we are all born guilty sinners deserving harsh treatment.

Such a negative view has permeated our ways of thinking. Unsurprisingly, we are quick to criticise our own shortcomings, failings and wrong-doing as warranting ill-fortune, punishment or rejection. And some of us actually condemn ourselves as unworthy of self-respect and care of others. The Gospel, however, is clear about our proper attitude to ourselves.

"Love your neighbour as yourself" (Jesus Christ)

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Tell Your Story: 10 Best Exercises to Get Started, Find the Right Story & Share It in Your Marketing

1. Make a list of the top 5 events in your life that affected you deeply (made you sad, mad, glad, happy, fearful, or were hysterically funny or odd)

2. Flesh out each event by including the who, when and where it happened.

3. Expand each event into a living breathing scene by writing a paragraph or two that includes as many of your senses as you can and write it in first person. Ex: "I am sitting on the shag carpet in my bedroom. I pull the fiber of the purple and pink rug through my little fingers as my cat Cleopatra sits on my lap. I hear my father yell as the front door closes. I tremble."

4. Read all 5 events and find a recurring theme in at least 2 of them and make a note of it. Is it loss? Abandonment? Sex? Love? Grief? There may be two themes screaming out in several of the paragraphs.

5. Choose one scene to expand on to start (the one with the most juice) and write a detailed character description out for each person involved. Use real names.

6. Add dialogue for all the characters. Each will have a different way of saying things... different use of vocabulary, maybe an accent, maybe they talk in rhymes. This makes it interesting to read and present either on video or stage. Be true to the characters because this is about authenticity.

7. As you write your copy/ your script,- make sure you stick to the theme(s) that you found in exercise 4-. This takes the confusion out of what to share and what not to share.

8. Have a clear picture of your characters now- you can write a one-to two minute scene and go all out- bold, brazen and big in one of your videos- this will definitely have you STAND OUT. I've done this on radio interviews, when accepting awards and in TV interviews. Not only do I talk about my story but I deliver/perform a scene. Creating a small scene like this create infinite possibilities to BE REMEMBERED!

9. No apologies. If there is any part of you that is afraid to share- clean it up by doing mindset work concurrently with your sharing (or beforehand)so you share freely and confidently and change lives.

10. When in doubt about the quality of your storytelling- Ex: Will anyone care/ listen/watch? Ask a teacher, mentor or coach. Friends are great but sometimes while they mean well they can actually suppress your real communication... because they are worried about you..when the act of storytelling is actually an act of healing and self-love and courage when done right.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Tell-Your-Story:-10-Best-Exercises-to-Get-Started,-Find-the-Right-Story-and-Share-It-in-Your-Marketing&id=9376751

What If All We Have Been Taught on Anger Is Wrong?

We might have been taught that anger is bad, that we should not show anger, that we should push it down, that we should not be angry, that anger is not spiritual, that we should not show anger in public, that feeling anger is weak or bad, that if we experience anger there is something wrong with us.

Now, what do all those teachings caused us?

They caused us to push anger down, to suppress it, to repress it, to feel bad if we experience anger, to maybe apologize if we are angry, to beat ourselves up if anger comes up, to do all we can not to be angry.

Did that help?

Not in the least, it actually caused many problems.

Anger is an e-motion, it is energy in motion and if we suppress it, if we repress it, it is going to create densities in our energy field and in our bodies and densities are the cause of all problems.

If furthermore, we beat ourselves up because we feel anger, we just create much further problems, as self-love is the key to success, it is the key to happiness, it is the key to abundance, it is the key to wellbeing. And beating ourselves up is the antithesis of self-love.

Great teachings, huh?

We might also have been taught that to heal anger we need to control it, that we need to manage it.

Well, controlling or managing anger will never work.

Anger is an energy and as energy needs to move, it needs to flow, it cannot be controlled.

Furthermore, we need to release ALL the anger that we have been repressing or suppressing in our life; if we don't do that, it will come up when we least expect it, we will burst out maybe for very little reasons.

And how many teachings have we bought that prevent us from experiencing anger in the first place and that cause us to feel powerless or even trapped?

There is also a lot of attention on being assertive and standing up for ourselves, but also this approach might not work, or might be not enough, particularly if the people we are dealing with are difficult, abusive, manipulative, controlling, not aware, etc. And actually that approach could cause us further pain, as those people, because they are unaware or do not want to admit their behavior, might deny our truth, might not respect our boundaries or our will.

We might also have been taught that anger comes from the ego, true?

Not necessarily. Anger can come from deeper part of ourselves than the ego.

So... do we need to express anger? Do we need to get angry? Do we need to be loud and lash out?

No, it would not work most of the times and if would probably cause further problems.

Do we need to always be nice?

No, it would not work either.

So, what do we really need to do? What do we need to do with anger? How can we heal the suppressed and repressed anger? How can we deal with anger? Why do we get angry?

And what if actually feeling the anger would lead us to... success? And happiness? And wellbeing? And money? And good relationships? And all good things?

Come to one of the Seminars and find out all of these and much more and... apply this to... YOUR LIFE!

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Embracing Who You Really Are - And What Love Means for You (By Angela Ambrosia)

Women (and men) can discover what are the keys to loving themselves in so many different ways. In fact the journey of love is all about what is your way that works for you. What teaches you to love? Did you have a particularly hard relationship that knocked you off your balance and then you found an inner power that you didn't know before? Did you lose a parent and find that all the expectations you had about life - weren't actually true.

What you can discover is that love and finding love is about creating a deeply authentic understanding and relationship of who you are and what love REALLY is for you. And not what the media and social media want you to think love is (or make you feel guilty about because you are not in some ideal romance). By a certain age, it gets really tiring to still be measuring yourself by some social media icon. And for future generations, it's important for older women to start modelling not caring about what others think about their bodies - as younger women and girls are having more and more pressure to look good physically from the social media representation of girls.

One of the reasons I am so passionate about teaching on self-love and creating loving relationships is that I know how debilitating a woman can feel when she is not in a relationship. But it all starts from when a young girl starts to become more dependent on her joy by what other people think about her - and how she looks. And this starts in puberty - and can start even before when the girl feels she's not likeable based on some asset of her appearance or personality. But puberty really messes things up by adding in hormones and obsessing with how much we are liked by someone or accepted by our peers.

In my journey to deeply satisfying self-love, I discovered what was making me create negative experiences in my love relationships with men.

It was a very old habit of looking for the man's approval of me - to prove to myself I was 'enough' and attractive to their liking. I could never be enough when I was looking for approval outside of my body - and I became more and more dependent and scared about not being thin enough or looking like what society would call attractive.

The path I found to embracing who I was and to stop looking for approval outside of me was by discovering the power of sensuality and feeling deeply in my body. Most people when they think about feeling deeply in the body - will think of two things, sexual arousal and emotional depth. Sensuality is the bridge between emotions and sexual arousal. And in fact, without sensuality, sex is just a physical exercise.

Practicing the power of connecting to my senses allowed me to find the joy of my body that was not dependent on what anyone thought about my body. And it is so important these days to know that what you feel with and inside your body is so much more connected to who you really are. There are more and more expectations being put on women to look good, be successful and be these very unreal ideals of what a woman (and young girl) should be. And those expectations are only going to become more extreme.

So by tapping into your senses, your sense of what feels good, and makes your body come alive - you can practice focusing on what you feel as the biggest priority - and break the chain of thinking you should be what others want. Whatever you can do in your day with your body and imagination to practice feeling your body throughout the day is a powerful balance to the more mind-based way our society forces upon us in school, work - and even play. I add in some play in day - every day - like playing with my body with music, dance, and meditation to feel more of my body internally.

And if I am short on time - I just add a healthy dose of silly faces, laughter and joking especially when people are too serious - usually by asking them how they feel too. People open up so much, when they realize I am more interested in what is inside of them - and they begin to relax too (and even laugh and have fun!). In a time-crunched world, you can actually change your attitude - to being more interested in a person on the inside - and a whole new way of playing can open up! This is also how the senses open up - with that old-fashioned "sixth sense", which by the way is not about seeing dead people - it's actually about feeling people's feelings.

When you start a journey of finally accepting yourself you will discover that if you truly want to stop depending on what others think and say about you and your body, you need to shift your focus to what makes you feel alive internally and sensually - and also you will automatically from doing that - shift your entire perception of what love is for you.

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Have a Mind of Your Own

It takes consistent personal effort and that moment of lining up with that decision to eliminate things, tasks, and people, that consumes and drains you to no-end. Or else there isn't really much changes to your current pattern of thoughts and the way you carry yourself in your day-to-day. You're always tired and emotionally drained. In short, a chore to be with. Because you're always dumping your problems and issues onto other people. Or vice-versa, having people do that to you. What goes around, comes around, remember? That's what a vicious cycle is. You get back the exact same thing you put out there for others. That, is the balance of nature. It circles right back to you. You're still giving away what you don't have. I call it having your emotions "in deficit".

Whether you harbor a great insecurity and fear for aging, for your weight, your finances, your relationships, any single one of that respectively is considered being emotionally tied down, as trivial as it may seem. As long as you carry stress and negative habit of thoughts about any single aspect of your life, you're not completely "free". If it pops up in your head constantly and lingers around, you're not free. Most people just grow accustomed to all these negative feelings over a period that it eventually feels "normal" to have it stick around in their life experience. When was the last time you said or heard, "someone said the other day... someone told me last week... I heard from someone... " over your conversations? If that "someone" isn't "you", keep it to yourself and don't pass it on to anyone. Even if that someone is your mother. If you've never tasted it, tried it, felt it yourself, don't tell someone what "someone else" said. That'd be like trying to feed a person food that your own pet dog wouldn't even steal a sniff. If you haven't even tasted it, don't offer it to someone else.

Don't blindly believe everything you see and hear without experiencing it for yourself to see that it truly serves you well too, and don't doubt anything you've never seen or heard before at first chance without trying, and simply write it off without thinking twice. In short, have a mind of your own. A strong and sturdy one that'll tide you through the harshest of conditions. Making the shift or learning how to make the decision to follow your own heart and own mind lays the foundation to customize yourself a belief system that serves "you" well. Self-love and worthiness is validated not by the compliments people pay you, but from your own acceptance to love and honor yourself completely. Each time you feel the need to hear a praise to feel good about yourself, you shoot yourself in the foot and when you constantly need someone else's approval to appreciate your very own self, you'll never feel free for the rest of your life.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Have-a-Mind-of-Your-Own&id=9493756

10 Tips to Help You Practice Self-Love

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Or perhaps a more relevant question is, 'who's the most important person in your life?' Some people will regard their boss or work as their top priority, and of course earning money, supporting their family and having something, hopefully fulfilling, with which to occupy themselves is important.

For others relationships are the answer; their children, friends, family or partner top their list every time. Then of course, we all know someone rather smug who says without a second thought that they are the most important person in their life! They'd buy tickets to see themselves in concert!

Today, though, we're reflecting on the type of self-love which recognises that making decisions to look after ourselves means taking responsibility for our own health and happiness. When we do that everyone in our lives also benefits. I'd like to share some tips to help you manage the negative events, hurts and disappointments that happen in life which impact on our expectations and influence our view of the world.

Here are ten ways to practice self-love.

- Introduce 'reasonable' affirmations. Saying 'I'm gorgeous/beautiful/perfect' is enough to give many people a bad case of indigestion, but being reasonable in our self talk enables us to say something like 'I am taking positive steps everyday', 'I am moving towards my goals and feeling good about myself'. Find something positively phrased, that sits well with you and repeat it daily.This practice can help to change your mindset and overcome years of unfortunate conditioning.

- Do things that you do well. Even, in fact especially, in a busy life, it's important to schedule time for things that you're good at, so that you remind yourself how capable you are. Playing sport, baking a cake, doing some handiwork, even helping someone out are all ways to boost your self-love and bolster your confidence and self-esteem.

- Encourage others to be appreciative of you. Self-love can benefit when others show that they value you, the help you've given them or the ways you've supported their lives. Be okay about drawing their attention to your endeavours and training them to be appreciative.

- Be gracious in accepting praise. So many of us are embarrassed or uncomfortable about praise or compliments. Instead of shrugging it off smile, be gracious and absorb it. That way everyone concerned feels good.

- Tackle the overwhelm and break tough tasks into bite-sized chunks. Self-love can suffer when we feel swamped or don't know where to start. Could fear or perfectionism play a part in this state of mind and, if so, start to address those issues.

- Build your team. Delegate, even to children at home. Let them feel involved and responsible for chores like setting the table or folding the laundry. At work encourage people to improve their skills - they may even come up with good ideas and better ways of doing things. Consider hiring help so that you get the best person to do the job, like your accounts, social media, PR or marketing. Then you can feel self-love as you do the tasks you're uniquely equipped to do.

- Learn to say 'no' well. No can be the most positive word in your vocabulary when used in the right way, at the right time, with the right person. Without it you can end up running yourself ragged, feeling used, resentful and stressed out.

- Ask for help. Do you expect other people to be psychic and know what's going on in your mind, how you're feeling, what you need? Practice self-love and communicate what you need from others. Communication is also about listening well. So be interested and attentive in your relationships and allow them to thrive.

- Take time out. Breaks are an important part of managing stress and learning to love and respect yourself. Identify the times when you typically start to feel unwell, tense, edgy and find ways to take breaks before this occurs. Go outside for a walk, enjoy some fruit, read a book, listen to music, take a relaxing bath. Maybe even put yourself in your diary like you would an important client, and honour that appointment!

- Learn to say 'yes' too at times. Self-love is about stepping outside your comfort zone and occasionally scaring yourself a little. And often when we say 'yes' to seemingly impossible opportunities it's amazing how doors start to open to support those situations. Keep a 'happy' or 'success' book and record those mini-triumphs. Then you'll have a log which supports you in more difficult times.

Self-love engages all the different elements of your life. When you establish strong roots the tree will grow confident and firm, able to weather the storms that come its way. Then, when you look in the mirror, you'll see a positive reflection that's vibrant, joyous and ready to break out of the limits of its frame.

http://ezinearticles.com/?10-Tips-to-Help-You-Practice-Self-Love&id=9743046

How to Transform Your Life With Affirmations

                

Why affirmations are good for your health

You've probably heard about affirmations and how a mind filled with positive words can contribute to a more peaceful and grounded inner life. But studies have also proven, that people exercising the method of positive affirmations, tend to grow muscles way faster and find it easier to become physically strong in most cases.

Being optimistic and life affirming is directly connected to a greater resilience against stress and all sorts of physical diseases.

At the same time, your face will become softer, wrinkles may vanish and your skin will become cleaner. There will be a gorgeous shine radiating from you. Expect to get more and more compliments for your good looks which boost your self-confidence and self-love even more.

Other health benefits include lower blood pressure, better overall circulation and a much reduced risk of cardiovascular disease.

Ever heard about the placebo effect? Patients given some fake medicine have shown to experience healing just by having a thought planted into their minds: They believe in the cure and therefore get cured indeed.

Affirmations work just that way!

Starting your day with positive affirmations is most effective since you can carry that vibrant feeling throughout the whole day.

Also, nourishing your mind with peaceful and life affirming thoughts right before you go to sleep has shown to have a tremendous impact on your welfare.

That way, your subconscious will continue to do the work for you and solidify the message while you are sound asleep. It's that easy.

Affirmations for success

Now we've provided you with some basic information about affirmations and hopefully could plant a little seed of hope and inspiration so you could think of giving it all a try.

But how exactly can you make them work for you and help you succeed in life? At first, it might still feel weird and not right to you, telling yourself nice things. We have been programmed from an early age to be critical, modest and not very fond of ourselves. I say find your own light and let it shine! Unfortunately, our society wants people to fit in for the most part, but what about all of our own talents, interests and passions?

When you find what you truly want and need, nobody can stop you. Just repeat your deepest desires to yourself over and over again. It might be best to start with something that is nourishing to your soul, like saying "I love myself" into a mirror. If that is too hard, just repeat it in your head when you relax on your bed. Make room for the new beliefs you want to have by forgetting about the compromising words you have been confronted with in your life.

Only you shape the perception of yourself and by believing in them, you will let them shine through and affect people around you as well. Collect a few of your most needed or fitting affirmations and put them around your room or house, make little love notes for yourself and repeat them a few times whenever you see one. They will soon sound familiar and like second nature to you, so that your old thinking patterns just vanish like they never existed.

You deserve a life full of positivity and all you have to do for that is invest a little time and be persistent. You are already holding the key in your hand.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Transform-Your-Life-With-Affirmations&id=8961251

Three Fast and Easy Ways to Increase Self-Love (By Esther R. Kane)

One of the most common questions I hear from clients is this:

EVERYONE KEEPS TELLING ME TO "LOVE MYSELF" BUT WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE AND HOW DO I DO IT?

I'll begin with my favourite quote on self-love, which comes from Lucille Ball:

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

I couldn't agree more with her on this one. However, her quote doesn't offer any clues about how to love oneself in the first place. I'm not going to pretend that there is some quick and easy answer to this daunting question, but I have put a lot of time, thought, and study into this particular quandry so I'll offer up some of what I've learned here...

Esther's 3 Practical Ways to Increase Self-Love

#1: Realise the Incredible Benefits of Self-Love

There are a multitude of excellent reasons to extend compassion and love towards ourselves as well as others. In a nutshell, I've learned that everything we are trying to achieve becomes a whole lot easier and less stressful when we are kind towards ourselves, rather than harsh and critical.

Here are some benefits of self-love outlined in a lovely article on one of my favourite websites, Mind Body Green:

We let go of blame, shame, and anger. We invite ownership, creation, and power into our lives.

The more we look at ourselves with love, the more we practice love and acceptance toward others.

We allow ourselves to be human. We accept mistakes and failures, and we invite vulnerability into our lives.

We let go of competition and comparing ourselves to others.

We find courage to accept failure because we know that it is one step closer to growth, and our significance isn't dependent on what we produce.

#2: Extend Compassion Towards Yourself

I've written before about practising self-compassion and how to go about it. There's also an amazing book written on the topic I highly recommend you read. I will share a story with you about how I helped a client learn to extend compassion towards herself which you may find useful.

I was sitting with a lovely client who has a terrible habit of beating herself up emotionally. I'm guessing you can relate to this... I sure can! It appeared that she was trying to convince me (or herself?) that she was basically a "hopeless case" and not worthy of living a rich, juicy and fulfilling life because she had an eating disorder which has plagued her for the last ten years.

She would probably make a great lawyer, as she is incredibly adept at making a case. The only problem in my opinion is that her case is against HERSELF. And if anything is going to interfere with one's capacity to experience self-love, freedom, and living a fantastic life, I'd say, hands-down, it's when you beat yourself up emotionally, regularly and consistently. And let me tell you, this beautiful young woman is not the only one guilty of this.

Unfortunately, I sit with countless women, either face-to-face, on the phone, or via video-conferencing who tell me exactly why they don't deserve a crack at happiness. The reasons given could be one or all of the following:

-Any one or more of these conditions: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addictions, ADHD, etc.

-Past history of abuse

-A history of bad choices

-Not being where they are "supposed to be" at this point in their life

And more...

So as I sat listening to this woman berate herself mercilessly, something came to me. As she finished each reason for hating herself and not deserving a great life, I finished her sentence with, "And yet, I still love myself". At first, she looked really annoyed that I was interrupting her, but as I continued playfully ending her sentences, a smile broke out on her lips and she started to laugh. We laughed and enjoyed the fun dance we were doing together.

After a while, she stopped talking and looked me squarely in the eyes and said, "That is really helpful. I suppose if I can have all these problems and still love myself despite them, I wouldn't be so upset at myself all the time PLUS have all of these problems".

Very wise words indeed. Isn't it bad enough that we have these problems to begin with? Why do we have to add insult to injury by beating ourselves up emotionally as well? When are we going to give ourselves a break by saying to ourselves when we falter, "And yet, I still love myself"... Give it a try and see what happens.

#3: Change Your Self-Talk

For the final suggestion on how to love yourself more, I can't stress enough the importance of how you talk to yourself. In a previous article, I mentioned that research has found that we practise self-talk for FOUR HOURS every day, so be mindful of how you use those four hours! I would hazard a guess that the majority of us are incredibly cruel to ourselves during this big chunk of the day, during which time the harsh inner critic comes out and berates us constantly for not being _____ enough. This blank space is often one of a long list. Here are the most common ones I hear from clients:

Smart

Thin

Sexy

Funny

Rich

Charming

Pretty

Kind

Young

You can probably add one or two of your own variations to the list. However, I think it would be far more productive to start switching the negatives to positives when you catch yourself being mean to yourself.

For example, if you found yourself thinking this after a coffee date with a new girlfriend:

I blew it... I was so boring during coffee. She even yawned! She won't ask to get together again because I'm not exciting enough. She's so interesting and exciting and a great storyteller. Why would someone like that want to be friends with me?

In this example, this woman is being hard on herself and calling herself berating things such as "boring" and "not exciting enough". Not only that, but she causes herself further misery by comparing herself to her girlfriend, who, in her mind, is the complete opposite (implying that being "interesting, exciting and a great storyteller" is the better way to be).

At this juncture, I feel the need to point out that in these types of negative self-talk scenarios (what I refer to as "stinking thinking"), we are almost always WRONG if we summon up the courage to actually check it out with the other person at a later date. I encourage you to try this for yourself just to see how inaccurate and mean you really are to yourself. The good news is this:

MOST PEOPLE ARE MUCH MORE FORGIVING AND KIND TOWARDS US THAN WE ARE TO OURSELVES.

This is especially true of our close friends and loved ones. And if it's not, I strongly urge you to reevaluate who you choose to spend time with on a regular basis. In all likelihood, the other woman in the example above was probably doing her own negative and self-critical analysis of the same coffee date. Here is what she might have thought after that meeting:

I blew it. I just talked about myself yet again and dominated the conversation and didn't give her space to talk about herself. I'm such a narcissist! Why can't I listen quietly like she does? She's so calming to be around. She must have thought I was a nutbar...

I have braved these 'check in' conversations with various friends and family members over the years to get a handle on how far off the mark I actually was in my interactions, and without getting into the embarrassing details, I will suffice it to say that I have a track record so far of being 100% wrong about my assumptions about how I came across as well as how others perceived me. In every single case, the other person was completely shocked at how I spoke to myself and the negative things I assumed they thought of me. Humbling indeed but great information which has helped me to practise being kinder to myself and more realistic in future interactions.

Here is an example of what the first woman could have said to herself when her harsh inner critic came out and blasted her for 'blowing it' with her new friend:

I really enjoyed spending time with her, even if I mostly listened. I love that she's an extrovert and I'm an introvert. We can teach each other so much. By listening closely, I learned about some exciting trips she has taken and it inspired me to take one or two myself.

The other woman could have helped herself feel better by saying this after she berated herself:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Three-Fast-and-Easy-Ways-to-Increase-Self-Love&id=9691914

Living a Life Without Drama or Fear

Living a life without any drama or fear has required a great deal of preparation, follow through, certainty, self love, having a fully awakened consciousness by receiving answers from God whenever I felt unsure or afraid, along with going with the flow - rolling with life's sudden challenges.

Here are some tips that will hopefully help YOU so your life is free of drama and fear.

Stay far away from anyone with negative energy. People who gossip, have mass chaos in their lives on a continuous basis - these are the people to view with loving compassion while you simultaneously avoid them like the plague.

Having a zero tolerance for abuse. This means that the first degrading comment is the last time you interact with this person. If you prefer to be abused then continuing with contact will continue to bring you the abuse that erodes your self worth and your soul. It causes uncertainty, lack of self assurance and a great lack of self esteem. You decide which way you prefer and go with that.

When life brings sudden challenges, doing a writing by asking God (by whatever name you personally use) what this is all about and asking for the next best steps to take, what to do and what to NOT do - really asking from the bottom of your heart will bring you the answers as the words flow into your mind. This is how every human being receives guidance and answers from God. It feels pure, loving, and most of all it brings you the higher perspective that you may have never considered that causes a huge shift in your consciousness. Some people may refer to this as seeing the blessing in disguise.

Never, EVER say another negative word about yourself to others, and about yourself TO yourself within your own mind. This has to stop NOW. As you consciously STOP ALL NEGATIVE SELF TALK you will notice that your view of self will begin to transform once you REPLACE the negative view you have about yourself with the good qualities you have within based on your observable actions.

Doing a process I learned called the mirror dialogue helps tremendously. All you need to do is look at yourself in front of a mirror (which may feel really uncomfortable) and tell yourself three good qualities you have based on YOUR OBSERVABLE ACTIONS.

For example, you held the door open for an elderly person walking into the store. Three good qualities that action displays are kindness, helpful, and compassionate. So you look at yourself and say, "When you held the door open for the elderly person today that was really kind, helpful and compassionate. THAT'S IT. Do this two times a day for two years. Notice your self esteem and your view of self transform. The time will come when there is no way you would EVER say another negative thing about yourself to anyone, including you.

Sometimes life just happens. Sometimes it is not pleasant. Many times it creates great fear. Roll with it. There are hidden blessings of new positive growth that may well result from a temporary negative experience. I have learned the most as a result of my greatest challenges, and boy did I have a huge list of challenges! HOW I learned the most was when I asked God for the higher perspective. I asked WHY this, whatever it was, was happening.

Create within your mind your IDEAL picture of you and how you really want to live your life. Get specific - SUPER specific. The more detailed of a picture you created within your own mind about your ideal you will start to send out energy that attracts what you hold within your mind to you. The universe does it automatically. So there is no need to worry!

Worry is one of the worst things you can do. It is your imagination creating all kinds of possible scenarios that scare you and disempower you.

The flip opposite of worry is to live ONLY in this now moment. Every single time you notice you are feeling unsettled inside, take a moment to stop yourself and ask yourself what is going through your mind. Oh, it's worrying about how everything is going to turn out! Now, take a few deep breaths, and pull your conscious focus right into this NOW moment. Look at anything in front of you and tell yourself this is the ONLY moment you need to be focused on. You will make your decisions as they are facing you in the NOW moment. This is more empowering than putting yourself through the ringer with imagined possibilities that are NOT in your current moment reality.

By keeping your conscious focus on RIGHT NOW you will bring yourself something called inner peace. The fears are GONE. There is NO drama at all. It may take a lot of conscious effort to continuously pull your focus into this now moment until your consciousness transforms and you are ONLY living in this now moment. Every time you stop the imagined fears, take three deep breaths and bring your focus into NOW. After some time doing this you WILL notice that you NO LONGER WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE! Wouldn't that be nice?

Pay close attention to how you feel inside. Become aware of what you are feeling and do ONLY that which you prefer.

Become consciously aware of the inner guidance you receive - that "still small voice" that guides you from within. THAT is God, not Aunt Edna. Pay ATTENTION to the inner guidance you receive and MOST IMPORTANTLY FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT IN YOUR ACTIONS. Every time you do not you, just like me, will want to kick yourself. Every time you actually pay attention to the sudden inner guidance you are receiving you, just like me, will be SO GLAD!

Your guts will NEVER steer you in the wrong direction! The energy you pick up from others, or a gut feeling that does not feel entirely positive, all green lights go, means that you are to move AWAY from what feels uncomfortable or uncertain. ONLY follow through with what feels entirely life renewing to you on the inside and your external reality will yield excellent results.

Remain true to yourself at ALL times. Pay close attention to what feels true and right to you and what does not. ONLY follow through with what feels true, right, light and easy inside.

As a result of all of the above, you will notice that you no longer feel fearful or insecure. Feelings of dread will vanish. Feelings of certainty and CONFIDENCE will take it's place. There is only ONE way you will EVER feel supreme confidence - and this is by following through with what feels right to you and leave skid marks when something or someone feels "off" to you. If you ever feel uneasy but cannot come up with a logical explanation - that's OKAY you don't have to. Just MOVE AWAY from any person or situation that does not feel like all green lights go. This guidance can actually save your life, and I mean this with all seriousness.

If you have relatives or friends that try to give you advice, people who doubt you, anyone who puts you down, but if they are someone like a relative that you for whatever reason may need to be in contact with this person - speak to them about domestic chores the next time they ask you how things are. Say, "Good, no complaints!" If they prod further tell them about how you are cleaning out your closet, and how you are organizing your dresser drawers. Let them know that, "it's amazing how quickly dust accumulates." I'm dusting more.

I PROMISE you that after a while when you have completely STOPPED TELLING THEM YOUR BUSINESS and only speak about domestic chores, and never again complain about your life, they will no longer have anything to advise you on because you will have completely stopped feeding them information!

ONLY share your personal business with people who are entirely SUPPORTIVE of you on every level! You may have to allow old friendships that no longer serve you to flow out of your life. You may need some guidance. Follow the process of asking God for the guidance you need. You will be happy receiving the answers.

Remember always to go with what feels true and right to you and you can never go wrong.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Living-a-Life-Without-Drama-or-Fear&id=9727308

Increase Your Chances For Personal Success

Success, as most other things in the world, is a subjective thing. Two people may be in the exact same situation, say financially, but one of them may deem themselves successful while the other one may think of themselves as a financial failure. In fact, you may not consider someone to be financially successful and yet that person may think they are super successful. Likewise if someone does seem to you financially successful, it doesn't mean that this person has the same experience of themselves. And as we all know, how you feel about your life is what matters, not how other people think you should feel.

So now the question is: What do people who think of themselves as successful have that sets them apart from the ones that see themselves as a failure? Is it self-esteem? Is it confidence? Or could it be perhaps optimism? Are they sometimes delusional? Or do they simply have low expectations of themselves?

In my view, the perception of personal success is neither an expression of stupidity nor of some kind of limitless self-belief. Rather, personal success is a product of self-love.

Practicing deep self-love works on several fronts to guarantee your personal success. Firstly, it transforms your experience of who you actually are. And who you are is a divine being, perfection in all sorts of imperfect forms and shapes. As a result, your confidence and self-esteem go up, you become more optimistic and you start celebrating not only the big achievements but life in general. You see yourself as a success. Secondly, practicing self-love sends out a constant message to the universe: "I am worth it, please award me". And the Universe responds accordingly. You start attracting experiences and manifest achievements that reflect your worthiness.

Now, is the road to self-love a difficult one? It is, if you say so. But it doesn't have to be. Start small by saying "I love myself". No matter how fake it sounds, be consistent with it and the message will eventually get through to your core. If you want to take the short-cut, choose a therapy that works directly on the subconscious. And get this: experiencing self-love is not only going to help you feel successful; it will also help you experience true love for another human being. You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first. Likewise, you can't be loved by other people until you can love yourself. So don't think that self-love is a selfish thing. Quite the contrary - learning to love yourself is actually the most altruistic act you could perform. If we all cultivate self-love, we will all be capable of loving others and feeling successful in life at the same time.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Increase-Your-Chances-For-Personal-Success&id=9839827

Love Yourself and the World Will Love You Back (By Joseph Dabon)

                  

I love... ME!

That may sound funny or narcissistic. But I am serious. I love ME and so must you.

That is not bluster. I do love myself so I take care of my physical and mental well-being. I get enough sleep at night, exercise regularly and keep close watch of my weight.

I don't follow a strict diet, though, but I practice moderation. My diet is typically Asian, sparse on meat, plenty of vegetables and fruits.

I give my mental muscles a daily workout equivalent to an hour of pumping irons in the gym.

Despite the above, not is everything is cozy between I and me. There are days when the spirit is willing but the body is weak. I am sure you experience the same episodes, too.

It is called psychological incompatibility.

Psychological incompatibility and self-love:

What no one tells you about is that psychological incompatibility is not only among couples. It can be experienced by live-alone seniors, too.

In fact, seniors are more prone to it because of loneliness, financial insecurity and medical problems - the three most common concerns of the elderly.

Any of them can stress self-love. They can make you irritable, tense of stress out.

They can make you despondent, discouraged, disappointed, and disgusted with yourself.

Financial insecurity, for example, limits your choices to what you can afford. It limits your socialization, your choice of food, entertainment and many other things you would have wanted to enjoy but couldn't.

These age-related issues make self-love doubtful, if not impossible to achieve. They render you helpless and incapable of making the right decisions, of doing something fruitful and enjoyable; they keep you from enjoying your retirement.

Another stumbling block to self-love is loneliness. For a live-alone senior, it is my constant companion. It consumes you, makes you feel lazy and without purpose.

Loneliness, if unchecked, can cause serious medical problems like melancholia, depression, and dementia. It can even make you entertain thought of suicide.

Self-love is not optional:

Love is the overarching purpose of life - of self and others. Loving others is impossible without loving self. Too much love of self creates self-centeredness which is as bad as not loving self.

Louise Hay, an American motivational speaker and author posited the idea of self-laugh by saying,

"When people start to love themselves more each day, it's amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin."

Loving yourself requires careful evaluation of your core beliefs and values; of knowing who and what you are. It also requires the willingness to change for the better.

Doing that is easy through these simple steps...

1. Accept yourself unconditionally:

Some people profess to love themselves only after having achieved an imagined goal, i.e. health, wealth, good looks, marry the woman of his dreams or build his dream house.

It won't work because they may not happen or something comes in the way that alters the course of events of your life.

Accepting yourself outright removes its conditionality. It lifts a heavy load off your chest; makes you more optimistic about everything around you.

It gives you a clearer idea of where you are and where you want to go and a better understanding and acceptance of the difficulties up ahead.

You become self-aware and appreciate your values as a person.

2. Take the journey alone:

You are responsible for the choices you make, no one else. If you screw up don't blame others for the mess you are in.

More often than not, we blame so many things for our misfortunes, i.e., our up-bringing, our circumstances, the people around us, our looks and many other things. We even blame the stars we were born under.

Not owning up mistakes will just make you miserable, bitter and pessimistic. It will stop you from giving it another go for fear of failing again.

Nobody ever succeeded the first time around. Everybody has experienced the bitter taste of failure and defeat.

Those who love themselves just brushed off their butts each time they fell, got up and continued the race. They believe they can take anything life throws at them and win. And they do.

Those who don't are the losers and will continue to lose until they come to grips with the ugly reality that their misfortunes are their own doing.

3. Start loving yourself now:

"You may delay, but time will not, and lost time will never be found again." - Benjamin Franklin

If you want to start loving yourself, start now, not tomorrow, next day or next week.

Time waits for no man and you could never imagine your lost opportunities by not taking yourself seriously now.

Starting now, make this your mantra, "I love... Me."

As crazy as it seems you could never make anything with your life if you don't. Conversely, the world is your limit if you do.

Self-love is a choice by default. Meaning, you could never have it any other way if you want to live a happy, healthy and successful life.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Love-Yourself-and-the-World-Will-Love-You-Back&id=9732948