Showing posts with label transform. Show all posts
Showing posts with label transform. Show all posts

Uncertainty - Aligning Yourself With Ease

Uncertainty shows up often when we want to transform the current paradigm. We try to avoid the uncertainty by keeping everything under control. So it is our job to reduce uncertainty for ourselves and for those that we work with. It is to reduce what is unknown. Otherwise our need to hold on to and control outcomes actually provides the total opposite in effect.

What you are doing in every day every moment is changing the foundation you are standing on. You are in a period of a new paradigm with so many changes occurring fast furious and often getting unnoticed.

A new paradigm

When do you ever question the way of doing things - e.g. when there is any kind of dispute or if there is argument is your response often on autopilot. When you speak to someone business about your work or becoming a force to change the world, and get paid to do it; do you renege and go back to what you know as practical and safe. When you argue for something that is bad and you know is bad; and because it is what is accepted, do you want that to be your truth. Arguing for what is called the 'norm'.

It is our belief even though it may be uncomfortable, when we argue, we argue for our own limitations - getting caught in resisting change. Just one big hold that keeps us clinging to the old paradigm! SAFE and RISK FREE(!)

Try this:

  • What areas of your life do you need certainty?
  • Where do you feel out of your comfort zone?
  • How do you feel to take a quantum leap in your career?
  • How much money are you prepared to invest in yourself?
  • At what point does the amount of money you invested in yourself feel uncomfortable?
  • When is it not okay for not being all right?
  • Do you ever feel it is not working the way you want it do?
  • Are there feelings of unworthiness or do you feel you have to fit in to be accepted?
  • It is safe to...
  • It is possible to...
  • Will I keep my identity if... ?
  • I give myself permission to...

Transform form uncertainty to certainty

Uncertainty will always be there yet it is your task to transform the current paradigm by acceptance to calm the raging storm. Yes, you want to reduce what is unknown and the only way to do this is to connect to that part that loves chaos rather than the part that is resisting it.

  • Build uncommitted time into your life so you can deal with the unexpected.
  • Allocate time for yourselves and lock it in.

It is easier on your ego to build a nourishing relationship that loves change and uncertainty.

If you can grab into that part than you can bring into your life a fuller wisdom and knowing.

When you know yourself and accept your own place in your world, in your field and in your life, you know you are good enough you can stand apart create the certainty you need with ease.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Uncertainty---Aligning-Yourself-With-Ease&id=10299076

Even Though Your Wounds Are Not Your Fault, Your Healing Is Still Your Responsibility

Pain is inevitable throughout life although to carry it unnecessarily fuels suffering. Even though our wounds are not our fault, our healing remains within our control. You're no doubt reading this since you identified with the title, perhaps your own wounds or someone close to you has been hurt? Healing is a difficult and yet liberating journey of self-discovery. Forgiveness teaches us self-resiliency and self-reliance. It awakens us to a greater love and peace that resides within us.

It is why I am drawn to the words of the spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle who wrote on his Instagram account recently: "If you cannot accept what is outside, then accept what is inside. If you cannot accept the external condition, accept the internal condition. This means: Do not resist the pain. Allow it to be there. Surrender to the grief, despair, fear, loneliness, or whatever form the suffering takes. Witness it without labelling it mentally. Embrace it. Then see how the miracle of surrender transmutes deep suffering into deep peace. This is your crucifixion. Let it become your resurrection and ascension." Tolle reminds us not to resist our pain but surrender to it in order to transform our suffering. I realise this advice goes against what people want to hear. I equate it to running towards a lion instead of fleeing for your life. Nevertheless, by facing our fears we allow pain to move through us and realise pain is not who we really are; it is an emotional state we have held on to and kept alive.

Beyond our pain lies an ever expansive love which at its essence is our true nature. Even though our wounds may not be our fault, our healing remains our responsibility. To heal means to accept what happened to us and discover our true selves through the healing process. Let me be very clear: acceptance does not mean we like what took place. It simply means to acknowledge the events and work towards healing ourselves of the pain associated with it. People might say: "I wish the event never occurred because I wouldn't have to deal with the anguish, let alone the long road to recovery." Whilst that may be true, if we believe everything happens for a reason, what if our pain is there to teach us self-compassion and forgiveness? Perhaps the lesson is not so much about the transgression that took place but how we love and nurture ourselves when we are wounded. How do you feel about this? I know it may be difficult to accept especially if your wounds are fresh. Let it sit for a while and try to see your situation through the lens of love and healing.

Dr. Mario Martinez, a clinical neuropsychologist, writes in The Mindbody Code: How To Change The Beliefs That Limit Your Health, Longevity, And Success that "When you're wounded, especially by significant people in your life, your empowerment is challenged, and your worthiness is called into question. The vulnerability your loss of empowerment creates within you allows the wound to damage your worthiness." To reclaim our empowerment and worthiness once more, we must cross the threshold of pain and let go of our hurt and anguish. It's essential you understand, I am not inviting you to forget, but to forgive yourself for being caught up what took place. Through the healing process, we restore any sense of shame, guilt and anger we inherited as a result of our wounds. Dr. Martinez further explains, instead of trying to forgive the perpetrator or minimise the events of the past, we should focus on re-establishing our sense of self which is more important: "Rather than forgiving the perpetrator or minimizing the intensity of the misdeed, you recover the empowerment and self-worthiness you thought had been taken from you."

What are your thoughts by now? Are you willing to take ownership of the past in the way you process it? There is rarely ever a right way to heal our wounds. Though, it requires courage to appreciate that our emotional wounds are not permanent and exist to awaken us to the loving presence within us. This presence can never be taken away or deprived through physical or nonphysical acts because at its essence, this is the foundation of who we are. As a result, we lean into this oneness of love, knowing like a net which supports a trapeze artist should they fall, we will be guided through our healing journey. Our priority is to nurture ourselves foremost through the eyes of kindness and compassion however painful our wounds may be. After all, the love within us is far greater than our wounds because it is the greatest purifier and healer there is.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Even-Though-Your-Wounds-Are-Not-Your-Fault,-Your-Healing-Is-Still-Your-Responsibility&id=10006034

Taking Action On Reaching Your Goals And Achieving Success in Today's World

Exactly what the majority of us do, nevertheless, is state that we wish to transform, however then we act in manner through procrastination which opposes that desire.

There can be lots of factors for this, such as the lure of old routines, worry, or low self-respect and perhaps a need for self-esteem help.

Till we deal with the underlying problems, we will keep undermining our efforts for personal transformation and to get the life you want while in this world.

When we initially choose to make favorable modifications in our lives, we generally undervalue the quantity of effort it will take.

It's simple to dream and envision a much better life, but we likewise have to provide some sort of action taking to our ideas with definitive drive and purpose.

- This is where the majority of us get stuck.

- We have to utilize the exact same procedure to "develop" the lives we desire.

- We have to be clear on exactly what we desire (develop the concept), prepare strategies (set objectives), then do something about it to form our desires in the physical.

Think of, for example, wanting to begin a business, write a book, or say, build a new home, and then consider the procedure that has to be taken into consideration.

You 'd have to focus on your goals and dreams and develop the concept, purchase land for the home to be built on, prepare plans that include a wonderful writing den where your first novel will be written.

You 'd have to order products, begin working with experts to do the jobs you can not, and lastly, start developing your house.

You 'd be waiting a long time on your goals and dreams to manifest if you got as far as buying the products and then sat there waiting for them to amazingly form themselves into a home!

If this explains you, and you've been having a hard time to make favorable modifications in your life, and you simply can not appear to begin moving forward on your goals and dreams, then you must do something.

Here is a small-scale step-by-goal setting-step thought process to assist breaking through any ego procrastination barriers getting in the way:

Identify and get rid of obstructions:

If you regularly prevent taking the actions that will bring about favorable personal transformation in your life, there is most likely something holding you back.

It might be an old self-limiting belief that you're not deserving of a pleased life, or fear that you will not have the ability to deal with the brand-new scenarios, or simply plain old resistance to make changes.

Decide on and commit to actions to take:

Previously I discussed in a well-received session deeply about personal fulfillment and inner power uncovered now to release a scarcity mindset and get the life you want.

The same procedure is for any sort of change or alterations you are attempting to make in your life.

Minute to minute, you have to begin deciding on the actions that will result in exactly what you are attempting to produce.

In order to do this, you might want to establish a much deeper level of awareness about your own actions, particularly if you discover yourself instantly gravitating towards ineffective actions.

Stay focused on the procedure:

Enhancement is a procedure, and it takes constant effort and focus., if we take our time and delight in the journey we can not stop working.

Another factor you may withstand modification is feeling not sure about the actions you require to take to bring about your goals and dreams.

I mean that if you make a list of extremely particular actions that you can take daily, you will have a clearer roadmap to the result you are attempting to produce.

You will be able to work through any restricting fears, worries, or self-limiting beliefs if you take some time to check out these sensations.

Face your fears:

You may begin with a timely statement of your fears, I mean staring them in the face, such as, "I feel scared of... ", or "I feel safe with my life just how it is due to the fact that... "

Allow your responses to come easily, and work on altering any ideas or self-limiting beliefs that will continue to hold you back.

When we initially choose to make a personal transformation in our lives, we generally undervalue the quantity of effort it will take.

If you regularly prevent taking the actions that will bring about the changes needed so that you can achieve your dreams and goals in life, there is most likely some sort of ego-based hold on you.

Remember, the Course in Miracles states, "Only you can deprive yourself of anything. Do not oppose this realization, for it is truly the beginning of the dawn of light."

Another factor you may consider that is holding you back is feeling uncertain about the action steps you require to take to bring it about.

If you make a list of really particular actions that you can take each and every day, you will have a clearer state of mind that is free of ego interference to the result you are attempting to develop.

In order to do this, you might require some consistent and deeper mindfulness meditation practices where you're quietly listening for further guidance.

A much deeper level of awareness about your goals and dreams being achieved and enjoying the process without fear or self-doubt will make the action steps easier.

If you discover yourself instantly gravitating towards ineffective actions then make some adjustments along the way, continue to ask within what you should do next, and soon you will see a result that fits your goals in life.

I wish you the very best of success on your miracle mindfulness journey!

(I also suggest searching the web for further helpful material on things like, does visualization meditation really work to get the life you want?)

To achieving success and happiness!


https://ezinearticles.com/?Taking-Action-On-Reaching-Your-Goals-And-Achieving-Success-in-Todays-World&id=9956650

Should You Give People a Second Chance?

Man Kissing Woman

People talk about second chances in various ways. They say: "if I knew then what I know now." "If I had an opportunity to do things over." "Please give me a second chance." "Can we start over?" The list goes on. Most people actually believe they learn from their mistakes. However, when you look closely, you see history repeats itself. Why do most repeat the same pattern? They approach second chances with a first chance mindset.

Two easy examples are the divorce rate and criminal behavior. The divorce rate for first time marriages in the US is almost 50%. For second marriages, the rate is 67% and third is 74%. When it comes to the recidivism rate for criminal offenders, 47% for federal and 77% for state prisoners are arrested again. As you can see, second chances do not always mean you learned from your mistakes. So why do people ask for second chances?

Many people can tell you they learned what "not to do". Except, they fail to realize that learning what "not to do" does not mean you know "what to do". The list of things "to not do" can be infinite. You only need one item on the list of things "to do" to make things work. Because the brain can get stuck with repeating patterns, learning from mistakes is not necessarily the best way to learn.

In previous articles and videos, I spoke about neuroplasticity. When you learn something new, your brain looks for common ground. That way the new concept can be understood based on what you already know. You are comfortable when you learn something that is different, yet familiar. Therefore, everything we learn is neatly placed in neuropaths that already contain lots of knowledge and information. The problem is your brain cannot determine if the knowledge you have is true or false. When people believed the earth was the center of the universe, they made all planetary calculations based on that belief. If you believe the world is dangerous, everything you learn will be placed on top of that belief and you will believe you have to constantly protect yourself from danger, even when there is none. That alone will cause you to say and do things that are inappropriate. In many cases, that can cause you to sabotage any situation no matter how many chances you get.

With neuroplasticity, you learn new ideas that most likely have no relationship to what you already know. As a result, you are likely to encounter confusion, frustration and uncertainty. The outcome of that path can literally be a headache. And most will avoid learning something that will give them a headache. They will discard the new and return to old neuropaths that are familiar to them.

Tiger Woods is a great example of a person who learned something new. During his prime, he changed his golf swing several times. He had to retrain his brain and body to think and move differently. In the beginning of the new swing, the performance of his game decreased. When he mastered the new swing, he was back on top.

Most people lack the tolerance Tiger Woods had. The fact society has become a microwave mindset - everyone wants results instantly - is an indication that people quickly return to the mindset that caused failure in the first place. In their mind, this time they will do it a little differently. That amounts to the same thing, but different. Why? Because they are using a mindset that is part of neuropaths that only understand situations based on existing knowledge and experience - the first chance. That is a formula to repeat the past.

To break a pattern of the past, you will need to work through the frustration and uncertainty like Tiger Woods did when he changed his swing. And Tiger did not do it alone. He had a coach to hold him accountable and observe when he returned to an old swing.

If you want to break a pattern, it would be in your best interest to find someone to hold you accountable to a new way of being which will transform the way you think and act. If you are looking for a second wind in your career or business, it could be critical to have someone who provides you with tools to make the transition to the next level as well as provide you with honest feedback. With a new mindset, it's kind of like you are doing something old for the first time.



https://ezinearticles.com/?Should-You-Give-People-a-Second-Chance?&id=9821295

Are You Really Ready to Forgive the Person Who Betrayed You? (By Brenda Adelman)

man hugging woman near trees

Take a look at the list below and see if you recognize yourself in any of these sentences.

a. You think about the person who betrayed you and your blood boils and you defend your choice to stay angry.

b. You refuse to take this person's calls or see them and hope they are suffering from the loss of your relationship.

c. The person who abused or betrayed you is long gone (may have even passed away) and yet every so often remorse, guilt or anger comes over you and you feel you'll never have peace because you did not say what you needed to say to them before they left or died.

d. You're holding on to the need for this person to change and take responsibility before you will really let go of your pain.

e. You aren't comfortable with real intimacy. You feel alone. You can't trust others.

The above are all symptoms that come from the inability to let go of anger, pain and injustice. You may have had a good reason to keep your defenses up, but I'm telling you that there is no better time than now to let those defenses melt away. When they do, you will create an opening through which new love can come in.

Let's take a look at the different ways unforgiveness and anger show up in your life.

a. You think about the person who betrayed you, your blood boils and you defend your choice to stay angry.

Your anger is most likely pointing to something that is unresolved and you should listen to that. Was there something left unsaid? I don't ever advocate renewing a relationship with someone who has been abusive but there are ways for you to say what you are feeling called to say. As a life coach, I give my clients tools in every session so they can release their anger in healthy ways and discover how to have more peace in their relationships now. I've included an exercise later in this article to get you started.

b. You refuse to take this person's calls or see them and hope they are suffering from the loss of your relationship.

Boundaries are very important. However, I make a clear distinction between hard boundaries and healthy boundaries. The boundary we are addressing here (cutting someone out of your life) is a hard boundary and often it's a necessary first step. However, as time goes on, it's important to release any need or desire for the other person to suffer. This is where you have an opportunity to release your own suffering too. You must break this down step by step to transform your hard boundaries so that you are no longer a victim to them.

c. The person who abused or betrayed you is long gone (moved away/passed away) and yet every so often remorse or guilt comes over you and you wish you could have had said what you needed to say to them before they left.

The following is a truism that my father repeated when I continually demanded that he answer the question of what happened the night my mother died. He'd say, "The past is the past. Whatever I say isn't going to bring her back." This enraged me because I thought he was shirking his responsibility. Perhaps he was. But it was also right on. The past is the past. You can't change it. (Well, you can change it energetically by how you hold it in consciousness, but that's for a whole other article)

You can't change the past, but you can change your present. I invite you to sit down right now and write a long, long letter out to your abuser. Say everything you ever wanted to say to them. No holds barred. Curse, get angry. Let it all out. It's for your eyes only. Make sure you set a timer and finish your writing by the one hour mark and then tear the paper you've just written on up into little pieces and throw it away. Take the garbage out. With it goes the anguish that you've been carrying for years. Guilt be gone. You have been holding on to the need for them to change and take responsibility before you will really let go of your pain. You have the power to change that with this exercise.

d. You're holding on to the need for them to change and take responsibility before you will really let go of your pain.

Forget this one please! I've worked with so many clients who have had major breakthroughs -real transformation by letting go of this one thing. You see you are actually punishing yourself the most by making demands on someone who is unwilling to meet them. Stop giving over your power to them by tying your happiness into their words and actions. Love yourself enough to know that a portion of the pain you're feeling is not even yours. It's time to let it go. Take a breath. And create a future free from the need to control others.

e. You aren't comfortable with real intimacy. You feel alone.

It pains me to know that so many people feel so lonely. I remember how very alone I was after my father took my mother's life. My brother and I weren't speaking. My mom was dead. My father was in jail. My fiance and I broke up. I felt damaged because of my parents' tumultuous relationship and because of how my mother died. I was afraid to be seen, truly seen because I felt ugly inside and I thought it would show. My anger wore on me. Most of my anger was for myself and the errors in my judgment of character -especially of my dad. I finally broke through my isolation by using a system of letting go and forgiving judgments of myself, my father, my brother and my mother. I broke free and found the love of my life who I've been with for twelve years. I had to let myself be truly seen by someone else and I could only do that after I forgave my judgments of myself and trusted myself enough to make better decisions. My brother and I also reunited ten years ago and I am adopting a 14 year old boy. I have a son! If I could go from extreme loneliness and depression to having a loving family and the best relationships in my life, I know you can too.

If you are experiencing the symptoms of unforgiveness, I encourage you to take action today so you can start feeling better as early as, well, right after you write that first letter!


https://ezinearticles.com/?Are-You-Really-Ready-to-Forgive-the-Person-Who-Betrayed-You?&id=7912396

Weathering Stormy Feelings


woman in white vest and black bikini with hand on chest

I know looking back on my own life I can see many instances where I spoke or acted on impulse, due to the raging storms of emotion within me. Some very strong feelings are also triggered by our hormones. If we are unable to control these hormonal urges they may drive us to make impulsive decisions on sexual matters. The consequences of these impulsive decisions can be very long lasting in our lives. If we can manage our feelings, and better control our resulting thoughts and actions; we will not have so many occasions to later deeply regret.

A great deal of suffering can be drawn into our lives and the lives of those who live in close proximity with us, due to the way we think, speak and react to our feelings. This effect carries outward into our society like the ripples in a pond, bringing either waves of added suffering, or waves of added benefit to the lives of all those within our sphere of influence. We all interrelate with one another on some level. With the increased connections of the electronic age, and all the social media connections, our impact has a much broader range then was possible in the past.

Due to the fact that how we relate to one another, affects people on a far broader scale today, brings to mind the consideration of our responsibilities to one another. Although we are each responsible for ourselves, and our behavior, we need to keep in mind how the things we say, and the things we do, may influence and affect the lives of those around us. If we continue to react without thinking to our feelings; we will not be able to create the best possible life for ourselves.

We also need to consider how this ripple we start in the pond of our life, by the way we react to our feelings and beliefs, also flows out into the lives of our children and grandchildren. Furthermore how we react to our feelings, can negatively impact the lives of those we interact with, on a daily basis. For these and many other reasons, it is very wise to learn how to better cope with our inner feelings, in order to have the best possible experiences in life.

Our feelings combine with our beliefs about ourselves and others, along with the rules we abide by in our interactions with one another. This powerful mix of feelings and beliefs will influence how we will act in all the situations we find ourselves in. Our personal combination of feelings and beliefs creates our thoughts. Our thoughts carve out the reality we perceive within our life experience. Our life experience flows from this stream of feelings, beliefs, thoughts, words and actions as we create it.

I like how Thich Nhat Hanh describes our feelings, in his book Peace is Every Step. He says, "In us, there is a river of feelings, in which every drop of water is a different feeling, and each feeling relies on all the others for its existence. To observe it, we just sit on the bank of the river and identify each feeling as it surfaces, flows by and disappears."

Thich Nhat Hanh also says that "Mindful observation is based on the principle of "non-duality": our feeling is not separate from us or caused by something outside us; our feeling is us, and for the moment we are that feeling."

He goes on to describe how there are three sorts of feelings, pleasant, unpleasant and neutral. He says we should focus on observing our feelings, with love and attention; while using conscious breathing and mindfulness. This will help us to identify and acknowledge the feeling we are experiencing. If a feeling is unpleasant, we can mindfully embrace our feeling, like a Mother comforting a crying baby. Applying our energy to the feelings in this way, will help us to transform the unpleasant, or stormy feelings into either neutral or pleasant feelings as we practice.

1. The first step in transforming our feelings is to recognize each feeling as it arises.

(Example from Peace is Every Breath) "Breathing in, I know there is an unpleasant feeling in me." "Breathing out, I know there is an unpleasant feeling in me." We want to keep our breathing calm and light so our mind and body can begin to reach the same equilibrium. As we identify the feeling using mindfulness, we can address it by name, such as "anger", "sorrow' or "fear." Do not seek to drive the feeling away, simply acknowledge it. "Hello Fear, (Anger, Sadness) How are you today my friend?"

2. With the second step you will invite your feeling and mindfulness to shake hands and connect with each other.

Allow your mindfulness to greet and care for the stormy unpleasant feeling you are experiencing. As the feelings connect with each other, mindfulness will calm the stormy feeling for you. It may seem frightening at first, but with practice your mindfulness will gain strength and will help you transform these stormy feelings.

3. The third step is to calm the feeling you are experiencing.

"Breathing in, I calm the activities of my body and mind." Again use the visualization of a Mother holding and comforting a crying baby. As the baby feels the tenderness and love of the Mother (your mindful energy) the feeling (baby) will calm down. "Breathing out, I calm my... " (fear, anger, sadness... )

We do not need to bury, reject or drive away our feelings. What we need to do is mindfully and lovingly embraces them. As you lovingly embrace the feeling, with your mindful energy; you will transform the stormy feeling, with your love and compassion, into a more beneficial and pleasant feeling. With this gentle approach we will be able to withstand the storms that pass through the branches of our being. Mindfulness will help us to understand all of our feelings are an important part of us. When we acknowledge and embrace our stormy feelings they can be transformed into positive and beneficial energies. We can then go on to create a happier, more positive and successful life experience for ourselves. This will also benefit all those we hold especially dear.

I strongly suggest reading Thich Nhat Hanh's book, Peace is Every Step, for a more detailed and comprehensive explanation of this wonderful process.

In the Christian tradition the feelings and thoughts we experience are considered in Philippians 4:6-8 as follows. "6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think on these things... "

I think that an attitude of gratitude and a heart filled with thanksgiving along with lips that look for every opportunity to praise; will lift our hearts from many a moment of sorrow or despair. In addition using the mindfulness approach to transform our feelings can be utilized within any faith.

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Khalil Gibran

Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/khalil_gibran

When dealing with your feelings, or those of another, consider the words of Jalaluddin Rumi, the thirteenth-century Persian poet. "Listen with ears of tolerance! See through the eyes of compassion! Speak with the language of love."

In summary we all experience a vast array of feelings. Enjoy the pleasant ones; transform the unpleasant stormy feelings by mindfully embracing them. Acknowledge all feelings, for they are a valid of expression of who you are, and what is meaningful to you. Love and accept yourself feelings and all! Seek to better understand why you feel the way you do, and in so doing you will come to better understand both yourself, and the others who are important to you in your life.



https://ezinearticles.com/?Weathering-Stormy-Feelings&id=9924634

What Can You Learn From Gossip and Criticism?


Do you have a friend who is constantly gossiping and criticizing other people? And have you noticed that your friend is usually guilty of the same things that he is criticizing? Why then is he going constantly on and on about so and so's bad manners, lack of financial skills and poor taste in clothes, and getting really worked up about it?

The answer is simple - your gossiping friend criticizes the parts of himself that he doesn't like and that he keeps seeing in other people. It may be that he is completely unaware of what he is doing. Or it may be that he already knows his own faults and by talking to you about these same faults in other people, he hopes (partly consciously and partly subconsciously) that he can divert the attention away from his own negatives. But ultimately he achieves exactly the opposite. Your light bulbs go immediately and you think "Wow, my friend is delusional. What is he thinking? He is doing exactly the same things that he keeps critisizing in other people!"

But is your friend simply delusional? Or is there something else at play? Sure, if he is completely unaware of what is going on, then yes maybe he is indeed delusional. But he must also be scared, separated and disconnected. He doesn't know how to experience love and how to feel part of everyone and everything and that must be what is driving the negativism and the constant criticism that he is directing at the world.

The surest way to transform a negative person who constantly criticizes and gossips is to help them understand unconditional love and connectedness. When we feel love, when we feel connected, then we focus on the similarities between people, not on the differences between them. This opens the door to compassion, self-reflection, and healing. Your friend notices that someone has bad manners and loves them for that and looks for the same thing in himself, because he knows in his heart that we are all the same.

So how do you offer your friend a path from Separation to Universal love? There are many healing therapies that work on the level of the consciousness and that can bring us closer to experiencing love and connectedness. And by the way, if you know a friend who needs a therapy like along those lines, then you certainly need it yourself because we are all the same!


http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Can-You-Learn-From-Gossip-and-Criticism?&id=9696957

Make It Here and You Make It Anywhere

To accomplish success when you have been dealt only hardships strengthens the resolve of anyone. The statement iron sharpens iron speaks of building character and conviction. To teach you have to be taught. You have to complete the lesson to learn something from the lesson. The idea is to complete what you start. The measure of your success can be gauged by your accomplishments. Your effort drive consistency and willingness to transform define your accomplishments. Your destination is ruled by your determination and tenacity. Most of the time we get in our own way and it is always by choice. When your perception changes your outlook and how you view your circumstances also change. The ability to view your circumstances from different perspectives speaks of the ability and willingness to transform. No matter what you are going through there is an answer to the problem. Your future is greater than your past. Never feel defeated or discouraged. Adversity is just a bump in the road and bumps can be rolled over. Despite of the odds you will make it through if you allow your faith to do its part. Faith is a very strong ally and should never be taken for granted. Faith will work for you if you allow it to. In order to reach a destination you need a planned route and the ability to adapt to the circumstances and situations that you will encounter on your journey good or bad. Nothing is by chance there is order in everything even in calamity.

A made up mind speaks of the substance that believing in your self offers. Acknowledging who and what you are offers freedom. A made up mind speaks of conviction. Conviction is belief held on to firmly. To believe is an acknowledgement of your faith. To believe gains you unmerited grace. Grace is a gift to us it is not a given. The doors that open for just believing and having faith open wide. Our DNA was developed through awesomeness. It will never be imitated replicated or cloned. The uniqueness of you was meant for you and only you. It separates you from everyone. Take advantage of your uniqueness it is your destiny. Anything that you are going through adds to your testimony. When you maximize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses you have the recipe to success. We are closer than we think we just need to hold on. Transformation is the ability to not only adapt but to also overcome. It is to rise up. It is turning old into new. What was is no longer. What you are is still under development. Your direction should be one way upward. The more you strive for greatness the greater you become.

The storms will come and some days they will make you feel as if they are never going away. The storms are just an opportunity to accentuate your testimony. Anything you are going through can be overcome. There are countless records that attest to that. Those records offer evidence of never giving up or giving in. Those records offer proof of faith that cannot be measured. Those records also indicate the strength of loving your self. If you are good enough to love your self you are good enough to have success. The greatness of you is very close to you. Just reach out and grab it. From dust kingdoms were made. We are more than dust. God made you so who can stop you. God is with you so who can stand in your way. Never allow obstacles and set backs determine what you can accomplish and you will always reach your goals.


http://ezinearticles.com/?Make-It-Here-and-You-Make-It-Anywhere&id=9251380

I Have 10 Life Secrets: Let Me Share 1




Most people don't get what they want or deserve because of silly mistakes. I have met a number of talented college graduates who struggle economically because of the bridges they've burned along the way, experienced professionals who get stuck mid-career because of pride, and near retirement employees who are anxious to retire so that their fear of unemployment stops consuming them. Clearly, nobody told these folks that jobs are now partnerships and that burning bridges, pride and fear are only going to slowly transform their true talent into perishable mediocrity. You don't want to fall under these categories. What you do need is to control your life by maneuvering the game of life in ways that makes you totally unpredictable. By the way, how are you positioning yourself these days? Are you engaging in careful planning?

Undeniably, everybody loves doing the kind of work that they have a talent for. Based on this logic, the million dollar question then becomes, "What do I need to do in order to work on my talent?" Ladies and gentleman, I am going to reveal to you one of the ten life secrets I've learned right now. The secret actually comes from Napoleon Hill, one of my "deceased mentors" and author of the book "Think and Grow Rich." Just realize that his secret has seven steps. Are you ready for this?

First: Decide exactly what kind of job you want. If this job doesn't already exist, perhaps you can create it.

Second: Choose the company or individual from whom you wish to work for.

Third: Study your prospective employer, as to policies, personnel, and chances for advancement.

Fourth: By analysis of yourself, your talents and capabilities, figure what you can offer, and plan ways and means of giving advantages, services, developments, and ideas that you believe you can successfully deliver.

Fifth: Forget about a "job." Forget whether or not there is an opening. Forget the usual routine of "have you got a job for me?" Concentrate on what you can give.

Sixth: Once you have your plan in mind, arrange with an experienced writer to put it on paper in neat form and in full detail.

Seventh: Present it to the proper person with authority and he will do the rest. Every company is looking for men who can give something of value, whether it be ideas, services, or "connections." Every company has room for the man who has a definite plan of action which is to the advantage of that company.

Careful planning is at the core of this secret. Failing to influence others is a capital mistake. Never, under any circumstances, criticize others because the moment you do you lose them. Who knows if you are going to need them in the future or not? Don't burn bridges! Control your pride. Life is about God, not you or me. Why are you so afraid? Life is full of surprises. You might as well join the team and make yourself indispensable to whoever you work for. Your anxieties will decrease... trust me.

It is all about careful planning, dude. By the way, what are you doing about that? Don't let others choose what you should do. You should take ownership of your destiny perhaps with the consultation of a close ally. The former can help you tremendously, that is for sure.


http://ezinearticles.com/?I-Have-10-Life-Secrets:-Let-Me-Share-1&id=9854611

From Poverty To Prosperity


No matter how poor you are today, as long as you can follow the instructions in this write up, you will certainly transform from poverty to prosperity. Poverty is the state of lack of very essential material things of life that is daily needed to live a good and comfortable life. Poverty begins in the mind and when the state of mind has been iron clad to believe and receive poverty as a reality, the result is always lack of good things of life. A poor man spends more money than he earns and so he is almost always in debt. You see, debt is the hall mark of poverty, and until you have a plan of earning more money than you spend, you are poor.

In the same vein, prosperity is the possession of abundance of materials that are needed to live a good and comfortable life. It is the ability to earn more money without stress and multiply the money earned with the passing of every day. A prosperous man earn more money than he spends, no matter how lavishly he spends, his income grows exponentially. Prosperity is the ability to produce riches and wealth, and this ability is in every man that is living on the face of the earth including you that is reading this piece. You read that correctly, every man alive have the ability on the inside of him to produce wealth if he manage to know what to do and do it. What you need to do to produce wealth is what I set out to teach you in this write up.

Every living thing is giving the ability not only to survive but to always thrive and prosper. it is inborn in every living thing to want to survive, and increase, and this trait is calling for expression. Every animal know what to do to feed, protect, and even increase and elongate their lives. If plants and animals are so built not only to survive but to thrive, what of man that God made to subdue and dominate the whole earth? Man was created to subdue problems, and anything that stands on his way, and to also dominate his world. When God made man to rule his world, he gave him the wherewithal to do it, he gave him the power to rule.

The power given to man is located in his heart, as he thinks in his heart so he is. The power is in how you think. If you think you can, you will, and if you think you can't you will never, It is as simple as that. Listen, read carefully from this point on. Have you observed that those who prosper are not more intelligent, smarter, live in another world or more beautiful than others. Some are failured in school, some had to drop out of school because of the abject poverty prevailing in their parent's lives. Yet these ones came out to become the richest, they conquered many odds to become what they were. Seeing that they were not smarter, they live in the same world as we all do, they even had to face more difficult childhood environment with no hope no help in site. They made it eventually, how did they do it?


http://ezinearticles.com/?From-Poverty-To-Prosperity&id=9500866

Forgiveness - The Eraser of Anger

Forgiveness really is the eraser of guilt and anger. It is the key that opens the shackles of the past and permits us to move on with our life in a freer, far lighter way. Once we accept this we can start the process of healing that each of us deserve.

Keep these approaches in mind as you reflect and move along on your journey of forgiveness:

-- Your ultimate aim is to release the hurt and the anger that is feeding the pain. Just as you can recover from a painful thorn in your finger by pulling it out, so you can recover from any painful experience by moving forward. When it no longer has a place deep in your heart and mind, it can no longer fester, and the hurt can at last come to an end. Choosing to forgive means you allow those bad feelings to leave your life once and for all.

-- It's critical to replace bad feelings with neutral ones. When the facts remain unchanged, but those facts no longer have the ability to hurt, then you can move on from the past. You transform from being a victim and become the victor. You are human, and so you can be hurt. Human beings really are resilient, and because you are human you can heal - from a love betrayal or awful, unfair experiences in your life. If you're still reacting, then you're still stuck in some kind of emotional mud. Through forgiveness you can be free of those toxic reactions.

-- Humor is a wonder of healing. If you are able to smile about the love that let you down, or joke about the years you fought with a sibling, family member, or lover then you trade pain for a different emotion. That heavy load is shifted, substituted by a newfound lighter feeling that can even put a spring in your step. The healing power of forgiveness springs from our ability to move on from our anger and resentment. These emotions don't really hurt those ones who have hurt us, but they certainly do hurt us. Once we forgive we're actually protecting ourselves; we clear our mind, our emotions, and a great deal of our time. Focusing on more empowering and positive areas liberates and distances us from the event or person who has hurt us.

Forgiveness removes us from harm's way. As far as we continue to dwell on and concentrate on hurt in the past, continually reacting to the damage somebody has created, we remain emotionally stuck with that person and with what they have done. Forgiveness breaks the chains that lock. With it we take a huge step forward with our lives, releasing the negativity and shielding ourself from toxic emotional involvement.

-- Rehashing a hurtful experience over and again keeps it fresh in the mind, creating mental and emotional upset. Should the topic arise in conversation, it's much better to respond with: 'I'm choosing not to focus on that experience. I'm allowing it to fade from my life, and I'm moving on to better things.'

-- One of the most important factors of the healing process is our own self-talk. What we say to ourself is the most powerful driving force. Choosing words that feel true to yourself, we may say: 'I choose to feel wonderful today. No matter what others may say or do, my happiness comes from within. I alone determine how I feel.'

Affirmations such as: 'I am now taking care of the child within, and I am doing a really good job. I alone have direct control over my psychological wellbeing. I focus on the positive things in life. I wake up each day and focus on things that are beautiful and right.'

When we at last come to see that our anger hurts only ourselves, then we can reach that state where forgiveness is possible. With forgiveness we draw that line under the past and allow ourselves to move on with our life.

In this freer state, we can finally move on from the past, and at last start to live the life with which we have been gifted.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Forgiveness---The-Eraser-of-Anger&id=9646440

What Is Meant To Be Will Always Find A Way

Why do we wish away the present moment hoping for something better?

Our inattentiveness creates anguish and disappointment, because we're certain when we get what we want, we'll be happy.

Yet, when it arrives there's another desire waiting to take its place.

We're in the business of wanting more since it's human nature to seek what is lacking in our lives.

The problem is, we become fixated on wanting and desiring, instead of appreciating what is before us. Hence the cycle of suffering ensues.

If we consider the present moment as perfect, what is meant to be will find its way into our lives effortlessly.

To accept this moment means to appreciate that your present circumstances result from past thoughts and actions.

I'm not suggesting you abandon your desires, rather consider them in a new light.

"One conscious moment of introspection can yield huge lifelong benefits; simply by breaking old patterns of disbelief, and courageously believing - knowing - that you are meant to be here, and that your life has meaning," states author Robbie Vorhaus in One Less. One More.

Have you noticed when you hope for something, it seldom occurs as you expect? However, the moment you surrender, it makes its way into your life with little worry.

Most fears stem from expecting life to develop in a particular way. When it fails to materialise, we experience disappointment.

Surely there's a better way?

It was Albert Einstein who said, "We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them." Our distorted thoughts are the cause of our problems, so we transform them to create a better outcome.

We cannot change outside circumstances to please us, so we must change our response to the events.

Reality is not the source of your unhappiness, because reality constantly changes. When outside conditions are not to our liking we are less than satisfied.

What if we reinterpret the unpleasant events of our life?

Every event has the potential to teach us something about our life story. It conveys the wisdom to create a compelling narrative, if we acknowledge our circumstances with openness.

Whether you're a determinist, a fatalist or believe in free will, you accept there's an inherent order to life devoid of our control.

Speak to anyone who's been in a motor vehicle accident and they'll tell you their world was uprooted in the blink of an eye. Life can change at the drop of a hat, so we ought to be attentive to what we value most.

What is meant to be invites you to let go of the mental struggle that opposes the natural flow of life.

"Some of us might feel that pursuing thoughts of "what might have been" can only focus us on the randomness of the events and thus make it more difficult for us to accept what is. But studies have found the opposite. Rather than eliciting a sense of randomness, thoughts that consider alternatives to the factual realities we've experienced (known as counterfactuals) can help us feel like the events were predestined and meant to be, thereby lending them greater meaning," affirms author Guy Winch.

Not that you need my assurance, but take it regardless - life knows what it's doing.

I know you may find it difficult to grasp when caught up in unpleasant conditions. Yet life proceeds regardless of your resistance to it.

Through your willingness to embrace your conditions, however painful, you consent to be a co-creator to the experience of life.

Looking back, you no doubt faced setbacks and found your way through them. You developed courage and a compelling inner resolve that firmed your character.

Major change is often precipitated by chaos and disorder, which gives birth to something wonderful. I remind you of the big bang responsible for creating the universe.

Your arrival into this world is attributed to a similar event. Your birthmother no doubt underwent protracted labour to give life to the person you call "I."

From agony arises creation and so with our pain.

Consider the events leading to your birth. Reflect on your parents' meeting and the unforeseen circumstances that may have derailed their union. Irrespective of your conception, your birth is a miraculous testimony that life has your back.

I admire the quote by respected psychotherapist David Richo, "To say yes to this given is to trust that the universe has a plan for us and that things are unfolding in this life just in time for us to grow into the beings we were meant to be. This is the Buddhist concept of karma as meaningful coincidence. Our own plans are based on our limited knowledge. The fact that things happen beyond our control and lead us to new vistas means that grace has come into play."

Everything happens for a reason, yet we may not be privy to the reasons until the entire picture is formed. Sometimes, we don't realise it in this lifetime. Yet, we take comfort in a greater intelligence guiding every facet of our life and the billions of people on this planet.

How do we allow fate to find its way into our life without despairing?

Trust that life supports our needs and will continue to do so as long as we maintain faith. It may not unfold how we imagine it, but we believe in this benevolent force, regardless.

We trust in the language of the heart and sense our way through life.

So, when a condition arises that does not match our mental picture, we move into our heart and consider the greater lesson contained within the experience.

Life is self-serving, because you are the embodiment of life. The universe expresses itself through you since it cannot perceive the material realm without a user.

You are the user and the experiencer, ushering life through you.

So stop wishing away the present moment, hoping for something better and be present and attentive to your surroundings.

Afterall, what is meant to be will always find a way into your life, whether you consent to it or not.

http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Is-Meant-To-Be-Will-Always-Find-A-Way&id=9426550

Make It Here and You Make It Anywhere



To accomplish success when you have been dealt only hardships strengthens the resolve of anyone. The statement iron sharpens iron speaks of building character and conviction. To teach you have to be taught. You have to complete the lesson to learn something from the lesson. The idea is to complete what you start. The measure of your success can be gauged by your accomplishments. Your effort drive consistency and willingness to transform define your accomplishments. Your destination is ruled by your determination and tenacity. Most of the time we get in our own way and it is always by choice. When your perception changes, your outlook and how you view your circumstances also change. The ability to view your circumstances from different perspectives speaks of the ability and willingness to transform. No matter what you are going through there is an answer to the problem. Your future is greater than your past. Never feel defeated or discouraged. Adversity is just a bump in the road and bumps can be rolled over. Despite of the odds you will make it through if you allow your faith to do its part. Faith is a very strong ally and should never be taken for granted. Faith will work for you if you allow it to. In order to reach a destination you need a planned route and the ability to adapt to the circumstances and situations that you will encounter on your journey good or bad. Nothing is by chance there is order in everything even in calamity.

A made up mind speaks of the substance that believing in your self offers. Acknowledging who and what you are offers freedom. A made up mind speaks of conviction. Conviction is belief held on to firmly. To believe is an acknowledgement of your faith. To believe gains you unmerited grace. Grace is a gift to us it is not a given. The doors that open for just believing and having faith open wide. Our DNA was developed through awesomeness. It will never be imitated replicated or cloned. The uniqueness of you was meant for you and only you. It separates you from everyone. Take advantage of your uniqueness it is your destiny. Anything that you are going through adds to your testimony. When you maximize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses you have the recipe to success. We are closer than we think we just need to hold on. Transformation is the ability to not only adapt but to also overcome. It is to rise up. It is turning old into new. What was is no longer. What you are is still under development. Your direction should be one way upward. The more you strive for greatness the greater you become.

The storms will come and some days they will make you feel as if they are never going away. The storms are just an opportunity to accentuate your testimony. Anything you are going through can be overcome. There are countless records that attest to that. Those records offer evidence of never giving up or giving in. Those records offer proof of faith that cannot be measured. Those records also indicate the strength of loving your self. If you are good enough to love your self you are good enough to have success. The greatness of you is very close to you. Just reach out and grab it. From dust kingdoms were made. We are more than dust. God made you so who can stop you. God is with you so who can stand in your way. Never allow obstacles and set backs determine what you can accomplish and you will always reach your goals.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Make-It-Here-and-You-Make-It-Anywhere&id=9251380

Victim to Victor: An Amazing "Steam Punk" Shift in Focus

Woman Wearing Black Bra and White Tank Top Raising Both Hands on Top

The other day, a good friend of mine gave a talk in which he described how he overcame his addiction to alcohol, and it basically came down to this: he decided he had a choice. To ease the pain of life by drinking, or to choose happiness. To stop looking at everything that didn't work in his life, and deliberately look at what was working.

In other words, to shift his focus. Now, this wasn't a magic wand he was waving. His whole life didn't radically change from one day to the next, but what did change was how he felt about his life. As he persisted in paying more attention to what he liked about his life, about life generally speaking, he craved alcohol less, he felt better about himself and his life, and with that, his life circumstances got better.

His story reminded of a post I'd read earlier this year about Madelaine Cable, a 17 year old from Charlotte, North Carolina, who'd suffered a fractured T12 (essentially, broke her back) in a car accident, and had to wear a back brace continuously for a couple of months in order for her back to heal properly. The back brace was large and white; people would stare at it and give her weird looks. So Madelaine decided to transform her brace so as to feel proud of it, rather than ashamed and embarrassed by it.

With paint, stencils and a whirlwind of creativity, Madelaine and a friend "steam-punked" her brace into a symbol of victory, of triumph, of the "warrior-survivor" that she is, rather than the victim or "weird one" others saw her as.

What a marvelous shift in focus! What a life-giving, uplifting choice! Not just for Madelaine's sense of worth and self-esteem, but for the uplift others could feel from her courageous transformation of a pity-symbol into a victory-symbol.

Every moment in life is a choice point. Every second you can choose to feel good about something, or rotten about it. You can choose to focus on the downside, or do your darndest to find that silver lining. You can remember that optimists-those who focus on the upside, who are hopeful and confident about the future-thrive. As did my friend, the former alcoholic. Optimists do better at work, at school, and at sports, outperform their own talents, are happier and live longer than those who focus on the "ain't it awful" of life.

Whenever you are tempted to focus on what isn't working, to sink into that victim-mentality we are all prone to-remember Madelaine and "steam-punk" your way into a better choice. One for joy, happiness and success, always available just a shift in focus away.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Victim-to-Victor:-An-Amazing-Steam-Punk-Shift-in-Focus&id=9432487

9 Tips to Stop Being So Easily Annoyed And Offended



Some people never appear to be angered by anything. Others are so delicate that they're almost upset by the way someone takes a breath. Being conveniently upset is often triggered by an unrealistic need for perfection or a vulnerable vanity. That's excellent news! It indicates that you're the cause of your feelings. You have the power to alter your reactions.

Free yourself from really feeling annoyed:

1. Think positive intentions. Not everyone is a master wordsmith. Some people have a flair of claiming things the wrong way. Until you're specific, think that the possible transgressor had the most effective of objectives, yet inadequate technique. Concentrate on the motif of the remark.

Assumptions could trigger all sorts of obstacles. Stay clear of thinking the most awful up until you have proof to support those ideas.

2. Take into consideration that they could be right. Nobody prefers to be slammed, yet most of us deserve it at times. No one is perfect.

3. Ask yourself why you really feel angered in the first place. What's the reason? If you're annoyed that your buddy is 20 mins late, just what exactly is the source of your stress? Is it the inconvenience? The idea that your pal does not respect your time? Your idea that responsible individuals are prompt, and you do not like irresponsible people?

You could be the source of your very own irritation. The more convinced you are that things need to be a certain way, the more often you'll be dissatisfied.

4. Allow others to be themselves. No one is wandering the Earth trying to make you miserable. Every person is living their life in their very own way.

Sometimes, our lives converge, and also the opportunity for somebody to be dissatisfied exists. Some individuals might be too brusque, superficial, or cheap for your preferences, However they may likewise might not be thrilled with you.

Provide everyone the space they need to operate in their own manner. You'll obtain much more acceptance if you provide much more acceptance.

5. Decide not to be offended. You could pick your reaction to any situation. You don't need to end up being dismayed and upset when somebody does or states something you don't like. You could opt to neglect the scenario and just carry on. You can decide to consider the action or comment from various points of view.

6. Be flexible. The longer you hold onto adverse feelings, the longer you're harming your own. Forgive others so you can move on with your life.

7. Approve yourself. Often times, we're angered since we do not like the truth.

No one wishes to be called fat, lazy, short, or impatient. Yet several of us fall into one or more of these categories. We simply do not like to be reminded of the fact! Accept your absence of perfection and you won't be so effortlessly upset.

8. Develop your self-confidence. Research studies show that those most quickly angered typically have reduced levels of self-esteem. When you feel much better about yourself, you will not be so quickly troubled by the words and also habits of others.

9. Recognize exactly how you're harming yourself by being overly sensitive. If you're quickly upset, you're not very happy in general. It just isn't feasible. When you understand just how much your sensitivity is hurting you, it will be easier to transform. Exactly how has being upset hurt you in the past?

An old African proverb says, "If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm." The ability to appreciate and also approve of yourself identifies how conveniently you're upset. When you can approve your flaws and also those of others, it's very hard to be upset. It is necessary to offer yourself and others the space to be themselves.

http://ezinearticles.com/?9-Tips-to-Stop-Being-So-Easily-Annoyed-And-Offended&id=9477026

Most Know What It Takes To Be a Success, But Just Won't Do It



I've been contacted by many, many people over the years. Most ask me to tell them the one thing they need to do or need to think about in order to become successful. Now I don't specifically know what's gotten into these people. Each January I can understand that maybe it's the annual New Year's resolution thing rearing its head, but the rest of the year it baffles me.

The fact is that there isn't one single magic bullet that will turn someone who doesn't really earn much from their efforts and then transform them into someone who is a prolific money-making success. The reality is there are a number of things that have to work together in a synergistic way that will help tremendously in getting on the royal road to prosperity and success.

Of course, we've all heard about the necessary success components needed to make it all happen: having the right mindset, dreaming big, mixing and associating with the right people, learning and studying, taking action, being persistent, focus, concentration, immunity to criticism, all of that, and much, much more. Now the thing is, we all already know all of that; we know what it takes to become successful and financially well-off, so there really isn't a missing piece of the puzzle. And frankly, I know some people are really disappointed when I say to them that:

"You know in your heart-of-hearts what it takes to become successful; you're just unwilling to do what you know."

You see, most people I meet feel that there's something out there that's being hidden from them, that somehow everybody else knows about this hidden secret to wealth and prosperity and it's been kept from them. Sadly, most people will still continue to believe this myth for years and years and still hunt out this missing piece.

Let me give you a few examples of what I'm talking about here:

A number of friends have told me they've wanted to get much fitter and healthier for a long time now, but they just can't seem to get to the levels of fitness they want. Now however we look at this, there isn't anything missing here, is there? I mean, there are different exercise programmes and various exercise equipment and apparatus one can use at home. There are gyms, personal trainers, fitness coaches, DVDs, nutrition plans and programmes, you name it - there's nothing secret about it. There isn't any missing information here.

In a similar way, there are people who honestly believe that they're missing a huge piece of information when it comes to making a really good online living. They honestly believe that someone is hoarding a valuable hidden piece that's part of the online money-making equation.

The fact is, there are hundreds, if not thousands of people making tremendous online fortunes. And, most likely each and every single one of them have documented exactly how they've done it from start to finish - whether they've shown it via eBooks, seminars, DVDs, personal coaching or mentoring, training packages, whatever. There are no secrets! Their formulas are all laid out in the open.

Amazingly, many have asked me if there is something more to it than what I teach via my information products, seminars, workshops, membership site, etc. Again, they honestly think I'm holding something back and that they've not got the full story, that there's a golden nugget, a silver bullet I'm keeping all to myself.

The truth is I've given up trying to convince those deeply stubborn and disbelieving people who refuse to act on the message that they have all they need to know about being successful in anything they choose to be. Trying to influence and educate someone who isn't open to possibilities, who isn't coachable, who doesn't want to change the very nature of their own thoughts about things: all of that is a thankless and fruitless exercise.

Nothing comes out of it except an inordinate waste of life's number one resource - time.

If after reading this you have realised that you've not been fully honest, that you've not been playing full-out, that you've not got where you've said you've wanted to get to, whether in your business or personal life, then the refreshing news is that you have all you need to make a marvellous success of anything you want to.

Simply get committed to act on what you already know and you'll truly surprise yourself at the results that begin showing up in your life. That, I can promise you.



Change the Steps of the Dance and Find Time Gracefully



Finding time to take a new step forward doesn't have to mean two steps backward, as the saying goes.

No indeed... but whenever you do something new, any number of interactions may shift, subtly or dramatically, in response. A step forward by you can transform how you move through your moments... and your day. And to borrow another adage (one that I prefer in this context), "When the steps change, so does the dance."

I just love the proactivity and creativity of thinking about it this way! When you're setting time boundaries to find more time, you're really taking positive control when you factor in time to establish a new dance... gracefully. Fewer toes will get stepped on - and your progress will be that much smoother!

Setting a new time boundary will often initiate a chain reaction. That's because change, whether large or small, disrupts the invisible network of understandings that have evolved over time. Any number of "deals", real or imagined, may underlie your old arrangements. Most are not articulated and many may not even be consciously understood.

So, as you initiate changes, be prepared for others to renegotiate their end of things, too. Accepting this in advance means you won't be surprised by it. It'll be a new step in the dance!

Do your best to not personalize their choices, and to know that this dance is fluid and evolving. The steps are not set in stone; and all that you have control over is your end of it. The more practical and cooperative you are, the better your chances for a successful transition to a new dance.

Before you set new boundaries, prepare for discussions to work out details. Sort out where you want to actively sponsor certain ideas, and where others can exercise initiative. Here are some good questions to ask yourself as you get started:


  • In what areas can you move ahead independently?
  • What issues require consensus?
  • What sort of consensus and cooperation will be needed?
  • What falls within your area of responsibility?
  • What outcomes can you let go of?
  • Where are you willing to compromise?
  • What is non-negotiable?

Many win/win options may exist! So consider doing some extensive brainstorming before setting boundaries that change the steps in your dances significantly. Then you'll be well prepared to craft satisfying resolutions.

How do you set time boundaries in your life now? How has this impacted the dance of your days? Let's explore time together...

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