Is It True That Similarity Lead To Attraction and Compatibility?

Personally, I found similarity and attraction as a touch counter-intuitive. In fact, similarity in background provides the acceptable circumstances for emotional comparison. Thus, we regularly envy or are pleased with those that were born within the town of our birth, or we have a tendency to generally fall smitten with an individual who is analogous to us or reminds us of somebody from our past. Like memory, that improves once we are in the same circumstances.

Similarity, however, could be a somewhat obscure property. Love depends upon many alternative factors, and it'd doubtless be oversimplification to clarify it by referring just to similarity. Still, some live of similarity is sometimes useful in maintaining love relations.

Referring to the notion of a temperature, we have a tendency to say that our partner ought to be at the core of our comfort zone. This is consummated by the similarity issue, which ensures us that we'll feel snug with our partner. However, so as to make sure excitement within the relationship, the partner ought to be ready to expand our comfort zone. Meaning, opposites do attract, since they will enlarge our temperature, however important variations will throw us out of our emotional equilibrium into discomfort.

While similarity clearly plays a great role in choosing a partner. It's the similarity of temperament connected domains that need to be thought of once choosing a mate. In fact, there is a direct correlation between similarity and marital status quality via personality-related domains but not in terms of perspective connected domains. It looks that, individuals are attracted to-and find themselves marrying partners with-similar attitudes and values, but usually disagree in temperament traits.

However, in an exceedingly committed relationship, it's primarily the similarity in temperament that influences happiness in marriage which is less complicated to notice, however temperament similarity becomes additional necessity because the relationship will increase in commitment.

We tend to fall smitten and stick with those that share with us profound similarities, which can be expressed in varied stages of the relationship. The presence of such essential similarities needn't preclude-and may even encourage-differences associated with surface manifestations at the essential similarity.

Profound love involves deep common structures and completely different surface manifestations. Variations attract, however solely at a shared general framework that leaves ample house for complementary variations. Change is troublesome and unlikely. So, it's easier to choose folks who have the same desires and goals with yours from the start.

Thus, to make a relationship work, there should be some kind of attraction between the couple, either physically or on a temperament level. Initial attraction to a possible partner is very related to physical attractiveness. We have a tendency to expect that physical attractiveness and similarity would be the strongest predictors of attraction. However, temperament is developed through a person's identity, which is formed by his/her perspectives on life. Therefore, those who share the same ideologies can have similar personalities.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Is-It-True-That-Similarity-Lead-To-Attraction-and-Compatibility?&id=9999827

We Get to Pick Our Goals (By Daniel Blanchard)

According to Sheena Iyengar, author of, The Art of Choosing, we Americans have a lot of autonomy in choosing how we want to live our lives. Having the freedom and ability to pick our own goals tends to lead to more independence and happiness. Hey, what can I say? Most of us like having a choice.

But, just because we pick our own goals, it doesn't mean we always pick good goals for ourselves. You see, I know that picking goals sounds easy, but too many times the goals we pick have limits on them.

Bigger thinking will make the small stuff that pops up in our way seem like little bumps in the road rather than major obstacles. For example, when we expect to graduate from high school in order to go do bigger things, when little things pop up, which they will, they don't stop us dead in our tracks. We tend to brush small annoyances aside and keep going in the expectancy mode created from larger thinking and larger goals.

Think about this for a minute. If our goal is to only graduate high school, then when something goes wrong it can seem like a major assault on our dreams. Furthermore, it can mess with us by also making us wonder if we were ever really worthy in the first place of graduating from high school.

No! Don't do that to yourself! Trick your mind if you have to. Graduating from high school is a small thing. You were built for something much bigger. Get into a state of expectancy where you expect to graduate from high school because it's one of our tiny, naturally assumed stepping-stones to your much bigger chosen goals.

Now teens, go learn, lead, and lay the way to a better world for all of us. Remember that we get to pick our goals, and that is a good thing, as long as we are wise enough to think BIG and choose without limits. And finally, once again, thanks in advance for all that you do, and all that you will do...

http://ezinearticles.com/?We-Get-to-Pick-Our-Goals&id=9901307

Who's In Charge In Your Life? (by Jessica J Lockhart)

Whatever we chose to do in life, we chose it because we expect to gain something in exchange. If I snap at my daughter when she does something wrong, I do it because I expect her to change her behavior. When I let others tell me what to do, I accept it because I expect them to guide me better than I would. When I drink too much it is because I want to forget or have fun. We all do it. We do things because we expect rewards: good ones or bad ones, pleasure or pain. We do things to obtain pleasure. We do things to avoid pain. We provoke situations that will hopefully yield what we think we want or need. A baby cries when asking for something. An adult insults, teases or praises others because he or she wants something, too.

Most of us are not aware of our doing this when pain is involved. We don't realize that we're doing things to avoid an even greater pain. Let me illustrate it. Some people put up with a job they hate or an abusive boss because the pain of being rejected somewhere else would be too big. Or because the pain of being unemployed would hurt too much. They'd rather put up with the pain of their nasty days than risk suffering even more.

In that sense, we're all in charge of our own lives and decisions. We all choose what we have.

When the choosing is consciously done, we are in charge. When we are not aware that we are choosing, we become victims. We blame others. We think the world is doing that to us.

In the example I mentioned above, staying at that job out of fear without realizing that we are choosing to do so turns us into victims. We feel sorry for ourselves. We let others decide for us. And resent them for it. We feel powerless. But there always is a choice. Always. Even in the worst circumstances. Even in the most abusive ones. And whenever we do the choosing, we stop being victims and take control of our lives.

Another example I'd like to give you has to do with me. Quite a few years ago I had some car accidents (yes, in the plural) that really damaged my back and kept me in me acute, chronic pain on both legs and my back for seven whole years, every single day. I could barely walk and my doctors told me that a wheelchair was unavoidable. One could argue that I was the victim because the accidents hadn't been provoked by me. I'd say that my victimization started the moment I didn't accept my situation and decided to suffer from it.

But as soon as I chose to control my life even under those circumstances, I stopped being the victim. I couldn't walk everyday, true, but I could do tons of things still. And I did. I also found new doctors and let go of my old way of life.

Today I am still disabled and enjoy a magnificent, very fulfilling life. Yes, there are days when I'm in physical pain and can't walk or do walk with a sever limp. But I am alive and happy.

Some people say that I resign myself to my new life style. I disagree. Resignation would be accepting my reality and nothing else. But I'm proactively improving it. That's the key, the difference. I choose to improve my life every day, to enjoy it every minute, even when in pain. That is my choice. That is why I'm not a victim but in control.

I refuse to be a victim of my circumstances again. I am not my circumstances. And circumstances can always be changed. I choose pleasure, not pain. Even if the pain looks familiar.

What do you choose?

Enjoy life... ALL of it,

http://ezinearticles.com/?Whos-In-Charge-In-Your-Life?&id=9966665

Become The Decider

Let's say you make plans with a friend to go out to dinner. When your friend asks where you want to go to eat, do you say:

A. I don't know

B. Whatever you want is fine

C. *shrug*

D. All of the above

In fact, how many times does that happen? Someone asks what you want and you say "whatever... " and default to their preference.

Avoiding decisions is a way of hiding. You avoid asserting what's important to you, what you value, what you want. You keep going along, same old same old. And you end up letting others - people and circumstances - run your life.

It's time to start making decisions.

Making a decision is powerful. The origin of the word decide means to "cut off". Deciding means taking a stand, saying yes to something and, by doing so, saying no to something else.

If you've been shrinking from decisions for a while, deciding can feel uncomfortable. Deciding means:

• declaring a preference... what if someone doesn't approve of my choice?
• accountability... what if I make a mistake?
• cutting off options... what if I regret my choice?
• taking responsibility for steering the direction of your life... what if I get it wrong??

Those nagging, negative, critical thoughts are a sign that fear is ramping up. Fear prefers the status quo, creating as much resistance as possible to keep you from doing anything different. It's true, someone might not approve or a decision might not turn out the way you expect, but that doesn't mean you collapse back into inaction.

Decision-making takes practice.

It's a skill you develop and a lesson in trust. Every time you make a decision, you learn about yourself. You discover what you want, how to speak for yourself, how to become the leader in your life. As a bonus, you build trust in your ability to decide. The more you decide, the more confident you become at decision-making.

If you're ready to break the habit of indecision, here are some ways to jumpstart your decision-making:

Check in with your body

You can tap into your body's guidance to help you discern which course of action to take by paying attention to what Martha Beck calls (in her book, Steering by Starlight) your shackles on and shackles off reactions.

Imagine choosing the options you're considering. When you think of each outcome, what do you feel in your body? If you notice that your body becomes tense, tight, constricted or drained - that's a sign the outcome is not right for you. That's your shackles on response.

On the other hand, if you notice that your body feels lighter, open, energized or more expansive - that's your body giving you a yes. That's your shackles off response. Check for which option feels like shackles off and go in that direction.

WWCD

If you are dealing with a particularly stressful, anxiety-producing decision, ask yourself "What would calm do?". This question helps to bypass the fear-based chatterbox in your head and access a quieter, deeper, wiser part of yourself.

Fear doesn't get to choose

How much is fear driving your decision? Is your choice steering you toward what's best for you or trying to avoid something bad that might happen? Instead of focusing on fear, ask yourself "What would delight me? What would I love?" Lean towards love rather than away from fear.

Making decisions is like taking the steering wheel of your life. You're no longer coasting on autopilot... you are consciously and intentionally navigating your own way.

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. - Theodore Roosevelt

http://ezinearticles.com/?Become-The-Decider&id=9849520

Are You Tired of Fighting?

You can stop fighting now.

I've been noticing more and more in the media the word "fight" being used everywhere.

Are you and I being programmed to fight?

Politicians say, "I will fight for you" or a cause that you might care about.

Fund raising commercials say, "Fight xxxx" - fill in your favorite illness.

Drug companies say, "Fight xxxx with yyyy" - fill in your favorite drug and symptom.

Sports teams say, "Fight, fight fight, fight, fight."

When our government wants to create fear, it urges us to "fight" and labels everything a "war."

We've had "wars" on poverty, on diseases, on drugs, on terrorism, and most sports are a substitute for going to war.

What have these wars created?

Freedom from the desire to numb yourself with drugs or other addictive behaviors?

Abundance for everyone?

Healthy people?

A good sense of sportsmanship?

The ability to peacefully resolve conflicts?

A world of peace?

I've been asking myself lately, "Why do the media fill our heads with such aggressive language? Why does everything have to be a fight?"

"IMAGINE," said John Lennon. And so I, too, invite you to imagine a world without having to "fight" for everything.

"IMAGINE a world where everyone is respectful of everyone else and no longer blames others for what they don't like about themselves or for what they don't like about their own lives.

"IMAGINE a world where politicians call for cooperation and no longer use the word "fight" to promote themselves. Politicians could say, "If you elect me, I'll do my best to bring peaceful cooperation and problem solving to all of the issues facing us. I promise to work with all others elected to solve problems, to get things done, and I will urge my colleagues to do the same."

"IMAGINE a world where people are so content and joyful that they don't need to drug themselves to bury their emotional pain and dissatisfaction.

I don't know about you, but I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of struggling. I want things to flow easily and gently in my life.

I am now choosing to stop the internal struggles and internal battles. You can make the same choice, or not. It's entirely up to you.

There are ways to stop the fighting, and the first step is to make the choice.

Once you've made the choice to stop the internal battle, you will be shown methods and techniques to help you succeed.

Once you've made the choice to find peaceful, cooperative solutions in your daily living, they will appear in your life.

You will be guided to them.

You will be open to them.

You will notice them when they show up.

IMAGINE them coming to you. See them easily and quickly arriving... the perfect solutions to whatever challenges you are facing.

IMAGINE a world in which each human chooses from his or her own heart to work together to create joyful, creative, loving solutions. This is a powerful step to creating a world where everyone has food, shelter, and opportunities for personal creativity and spiritual well-being. This is the world we were meant to live in.

CONSIDER THE HUMAN BODY as a model for peaceful cooperation.

Our physical bodies are a cooperative effort of all our cells and organs.

• What would it be like if your heart said, "I won't pump any blood today for the kidneys because they insulted me."
• What if your colon said, "I'm tired of cleaning up this garbage without any appreciation. I'm going to fight to hold onto it."
• What if your bone marrow said, "I'm fed up with all the bickering, so I'm not going to produce any blood cells today."

The body works, stays healthy, and supports our experience on the Earth because all parts cooperate with each other. If they started bickering and arguing and disrespecting each other, our bodies would sicken and die.

In the same way, humanity is a single being, a single consciousness. When we connect at that level, cooperation comes more easily and we can accomplish great things.

But today what we seem to be doing is fighting with each other. As a result of all that fighting, the oceans are dying and the food is all poisoned to some degree (yes, even the organic stuff has chem trail poisons landing on it).

In addition, hundreds of thousands and perhaps millions of humans are homeless, starving, and see no way out of their situation. This is true inside the United States, although the official media won't tell you about it. Do you know about the citizens of this country living under interstate overpasses? They are not counted among the unemployed. They are not counted at all.

So it's time to stop fighting and start appreciating and cooperating with each other. We have to begin caring about each other.

QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU GET STARTED.

1. Am I ready to stop fighting?
2. What am I fighting inside myself? Is there a battle raging there?
3. What am I fighting outside myself? Am I still trying to win an argument with someone from yesterday? Last week? Ten years ago?
4. How can I make peace within myself? What parts of myself need me to love them, forgive them, hold them gently and help them feel accepted and safe.
5. How can I make peace with others outside myself? Can I forgive them for past grievances? Even when someone is already out of body, forgiveness can heal you and still give them an opportunity to change.

You don't have to make all the changes all at once.

All you need do is begin.

Stop fighting yourself. Become more loving towards yourself. Be compassionate with yourself.

You can't change anyone but yourself. As you change yourself, you interact differently with others.

The energy exchange between you and another will be different.

And then the other person will receive an opportunity to interact with you differently.

Don't wait for someone else to begin. 

Begin with you. 

Stop fighting now.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Are-You-Tired-of-Fighting?&id=9664278

How to Stop Being Resentful and Start Being Happy

We all attract situations we like to complain about - situations that drain our physical energy, disturb our emotional equilibrium and waste our money. How many times have you had to listen to someone's problems out of obligation? How unhappy are you about some of your relationships? Does your partner annoy you because they are not tidy, they are irresponsible, they don't earn enough, they are not sophisticated enough, they eat too much, they drink too much, and they don't care about your feelings? How many times have you complained about all the things you resent, and to how many people? How long have you played the role of a legitimate victim, feeling righteous and drinking your own poison?

Even if it only happens to you occasionally, it is time you learnt how to deal with the resentment. It's time you took control.

So let's say you are in a relationship you are not happy about. Your partner is moody, they get angry and they criticize you a lot. You know it won't change - it has already been going on long enough for you to have worked out as much. What do you do to turn things around? Quite simply - you commit! You commit 100% to either getting out of the relationship or staying in the relationship. Commitment is making a conscious choice today about which way you want to go, and putting your mind, your soul and your heart where your words are. By now you have enough information and you know what you are in for. Importantly, if you choose to stay in the relationship (which is a perfectly valid choice) you automatically lose the right to complain. But don't despair! The good news is that when you consciously choose a situation and you commit to it 100%, resentment no longer fits in energetically. If you continue to complain and keep the victim mentality, it means you are not committed. You are half way in, half way out. Commit! You are either in or you are out. Either way, your commitment will dissolve your resentment and open the door to happiness.

Now, what if you are facing a situation you have no prior information about? How do you consciously choose something without knowing the outcome? Quite simply - you commit again! You commit to the process, not to the outcome. If you have to have a conversation with your boss about your work load, commit to the conversation while releasing the attachment to a particular outcome. Again, with your commitment made, you lose the right to complain. And sure enough, if you are 100% committed to the process, resentment never arises. Whether you win or you lose, you did what you committed yourself fully to doing and that is enough to make you feel happy and content. If you feel less than happy, you should know you were not 100% committed to the process, and you were probably attached to a particular outcome.

Commitment is declaring to the world that you choose something with your mind, your soul and your heart. Importantly though, it is a moment by moment act of choosing. Only because you committed to something today, doesn't mean you have to commit to it again tomorrow. You can re-evaluate your commitment based on your instincts, intuition, logic, knowledge already gained and lessons already learnt. But until you make a new commitment, you need to stick to the commitment already made 100%. Remember, resentment can only creep in in the absence of full commitment. So don't be wishy-washy. Be committed, moment by moment, every step of the way. For commitment is the only thing that can save you from resentment and unhappiness.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Stop-Being-Resentful-and-Start-Being-Happy&id=9765951

The Simple Truth That Transforms the Law of Attraction

What if the entire universe, all of it, is but a reflection of limitless consciousness?

And what if every possible outcome is unfolding simultaneously? What if we could select, as if from a mind-boggling buffet, any moments we choose to cooperate with in order to experience it?

What if we are choosing each moment in order to understand who we are in relationship to that experience or circumstance?

What if we are all ONE mind simply playing different parts?

What if time is not real and all events and all possible events are actually occurring right NOW? In other words, what if now, this moment, is all there is, although we experience it as linear time?

Choosing to experience a state of being, simply by 'being' it, creates a cascade of new probable events, one that backfills, as it were, the past to construct the NOW in the most logical path in our memory.

We remember the event as having transpired, as if cause and effect happened, but in reality, the NOW event actually caused the effect, or rather path that it travelled and not the other way around.

What if a state of openness, gratitude and joy could mould the experience we have in our construct of time?

Results would be instantaneous, although they would seem as if they were separated by time and space (from our perspective).

The Law of Attraction then would simply be a vehicle of expression of the eternal moment, one of many outcomes, all changing simultaneously as we choose and thereby create whatever it is we are experiencing.

And what if, our vast minds, being part of a living consciousness that permeates all things, indeed is all things, is also experiencing our choices and non-choices in each moment so that in order to experience itself, in relation to, every other aspect of itself?

And, if we were eternal, playing a vast game and interacting with others, we do so to "live out "the adventure of the game.

That would mean that everyone that comes into your life, however briefly, is chosen in advance (or agreed upon in some way) so that you to react/respond/experience that meeting or interaction and be whoever you are in relation to it.

It would also mean that you are not 'stuck" on any given path. All outcomes are possible in each moment. You simply have to select them. ( You choose by your emotional response.)

By embracing life and seeking love and joy in all circumstances, the game is "re-set" to change the path, the outcome and even the players themselves.

Ego, greed and fear however, destroy the game. As does worry, the stepchild of fear of lack. (Again, the game responds to your emotional state rather than your words.)

The great challenge of the game is then to get what you need without allowing it to become your identity. Chasing material things is a false purpose and creates fear.

Your body is only a vehicle that allows you to experience physical life.

It is easy to forget that you are not here to pursue wealth or fame, although those things may come. Your real purpose is to experience life and in so doing, create joy.

Your ultimate purpose is to be love in action, kindness in motion and to remind others of the same.

You are here to express love (and have fun). So go do that.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Simple-Truth-That-Transforms-the-Law-of-Attraction&id=9380231