How to Say No, Even When You're Afraid To

Sometimes, saying no is the easiest thing in the world. You speak honestly and communicate clearly. As a result, you exercise a lot of positive control over your life and your time.

But sometimes the word gets caught in your throat. Breathing gets hard. You're just scared to death to say no.

How do you handle this now? Here's a quick quiz to help you understand how you might approach this stressful situation. Try jotting down how often you resort to each of these actions, using "0" for "never" and 5 for "always":

"When I feel afraid to say "no", I:

____ Put it off until the ideal time, which is never.

____ Trash myself for being fearful.

____ Fume over how impossible the other person is.

___   Push past my fears and charge blindly ahead.

___   Imply that my refusal is the other person's fault.

____ TOTAL

If your score is 0-5, saying no is not a big problem (unless you've figured out a self-defeating strategy that we missed!)

But what if your score is higher? In that case, your reluctance to say no probably hurts you even more than you know. Resentments simmer, and relationships and self-esteem suffer. Over time, anxieties compound. Paralyzing fear takes quite a toll.

There's another way to handle this impasse. You must break outworn promises you made to yourself long ago!

Start by asking yourself 3 powerful questions. Ask them as often as you need to. Let the answers bubble up, and listen to each response. They will be chock full of useful information for you!

Ask yourself:

1. Where did your fear of saying no originate? It's helpful to identify how much stronger and more autonomous you are now.

2. How did you believe silence made you safe? Give some thought to how circumstances have changed.

3. How does this trap you now? Seeing all the ways your old promise to yourself holds you back helps you replace your outworn approach with a more appropriate one.

The less you judge yourself for your fear, the more readily you'll overcome it.

So now:

* Forgive yourself for your reluctance to take risks.

* Gently affirm that those old promises to never take major risks need to be broken.

* Commit to carry the best of you forward, and list ways you might do that.

It's so exciting to build the strengths and internal structures to foster your autonomy!

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Say-No,-Even-When-Youre-Afraid-To&id=10080568

Manage Stress With These 3 Steps

We all experience stress in our everyday lives, and indeed some stress is no bad thing, helping to motivate us, heightening our thinking, aiming to keep us safe. But becoming more aware of its impact on us and finding ways to manage stress effectively is crucial to good health and wellbeing. Here are some valuable steps to help you better recognise and manage stress.

Step 1

- Amber lights are like traffic lights, the warning signs that start to flash, alerting you to the need to slow down or even stop for a time. Learn to recognise your own warning signs that stress is building up and starting to negatively affect you. It may be that disturbed sleep, poor concentration, gut-related issues or changes in your appetite, sense of humour or libido give you the nudge to say you're doing too much and are becoming stressed. You may need to take a break, pause for some fresh air, eat healthily, schedule in some fun time. Familiarise yourself with your cues that you're starting to feel overwhelmed and use that information to better manage stress.

By adopting an adaptive approach you'll be able to handle stressful situations in a more flexible, open-minded way. Weigh things up first rather than instantly react. Ask yourself what's happening, what's really going on. Is this situation triggering your 'stuff', might you need to deal with your personal issues first? Rarely is everything equally urgent. Learn to prioritise, delegate and communicate what you need.

Step 2

- Busyness is a familiar state for many of us, trying to combine the diverse demands of home, work, family, friends. It can take just one area of life to push a little more urgently and everything comes crashing down. If there's no way you can negotiate with additional requests it may be more appropriate to put those opportunities or invitations on hold for the time being. Learn to say 'no' in a firm way, delegate or share the load.

- Black and white is an extreme way to view what's happening in your life. Most things have shades of grey, different perspectives and your perspective will be very much affected by how you're feeling, whether you're in a good or a bad mood, are feeling happy or sad. Keep that in mind and try to step back, so becoming more balanced whenever you find that you're reacting harshly to a person or situation.

- How the body's affected. When we're feeling threatened, in danger or needing to concentrate well our body will react to support us, helping us to stay vigilant and in control. Once the situation has passed we may have 'jelly legs', need to visit the bathroom, have a dry mouth or find our head is spinning. We'll often need a moment or two to calm, but that's okay because we understand why we're feeling like that. Learn to listen to your body and note that there are over 360 physical symptoms of stress, a new one for each day of the year!

- Breaks are a great way to manage stress, but some people are always on red-alert and are loathe to take time away from their work-station. As a consequence, they can become constantly hyper-vigilant. Notice if you favour expressions like, I'm gutted, it's doing my head in, I'm choked, I'm sick to my stomach. If we use emotive phrases on a regular basis these can influence our health and wellbeing. Could there be a correlation between these phrases and any physical symptoms you're experiencing, is it becoming a self-fulfilling result?

Try to take a 20 minute break every 90 minutes or so and allow your body to normalise and wind down. You may well find you return to work feeling refreshed and with clearer thinking - a positive investment of your time.

Step 3

- Communicate how you're feeling, what's going on in your life. Rather than expecting others to be psychic keep regular conversations going, commit to times when you regularly share, discuss and maintain mutual support in your relationships.You'll find a more 'team' mentality brings its own rewards.

- Commitments can change over time. Intermittently review what you typically feel obligated to do and ask yourself if the situation is still the same; could your involvement be modified or reduced? 'Yes' can end up becoming the most negative word you use, whilst 'no' can become positive by helping you reclaim some time for yourself. Bring some control back into your life and support ways to better manage stress.

- Avoid catastrophizing things that happen. Some people treat every new situation or request as a crisis, a stressful demand that needs to be attended to immediately. Change your thinking by listening carefully to what has been asked of you, maybe breaking it down into bullet points and prioritising.

Introduce your own steps that help you cope better with stress. and enjoy the opportunities that come your way.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Manage-Stress-With-These-3-Steps&id=9827973

Beliefs Drive Our Actions (By Linda Hancock)

Sometimes people tell me how much they dislike Medicine Hat. They criticize the way the streets are laid out and find them confusing. They describe the river as "muddy" and the people as unfriendly. Others sing praises about our city. They like the unique layout, the fact that we have a river running through the middle of the community and describe the people as being kind and welcoming. Perceptions form beliefs and beliefs drive our actions.

Recently I have been making another attempt at fluency in the French language. I took classes in high school and again a few years ago with a group of "mature" students but never got to the level that I desired. I have also used a couple of apps, hired a private tutor and made some feeble attempts to greet the two francophones that I have met but still struggle. My vocabulary is fairly good, and I can read French quite well but frankly, my pronunciation sucks!

Last week, however, I was able to connect with a wonderful European French teacher who uses his study of psychological concepts to tutor individuals who have been "stuck" with the same disappointing progress that I have had.

It only took one class with this man to realize that the strategy he employs has exactly the same foundation as the ones I use in my private practice!

People who cannot speak French fluently (or any other second language) tend to believe that they will be embarrassed if they take the risk of trying to have a conversation. Their belief is that they will offend, not be understood or look foolish and this prevents them from trying. They focus on the things that do not improve their speaking skills - like reading, doing quizzes and studying at a theoretical level. They progress on paper but, at the same time, they believe that they will not be able to speak fluently in the timeframe that they desire.

Academic programs tend to teach vocabulary and grammatical structures that can feel overwhelming, especially when you might only need a few words and phrases to communicate about the things that interest you.

Clients often face the same challenges. They are "stuck" in a situation where they feel embarrassed, inadequate or frustrated. They come for help but often have already decided that they will not succeed. Failed attempts to change have not only affected their confidence but also strengthened their belief that things will not get better.

There is an old adage that states "Practice makes perfect". But practice takes time, involves making mistakes and presents risks that not everyone is willing to take.

What are the beliefs that are holding you back from doing something that you really want to do? Are you afraid that you cannot find a good friend or partner? Are you worried that you might not do well in a new job or academic program? Are you holding back from improving your health or financial situation because you don't believe you will succeed?

This week write a list of beliefs that are limiting your progress. Then write a list of things that you have accomplished in the past. Build up your belief and then start taking action towards your goal. One step at a time. One day at a time.

And remember to help those around you to think positively and build their belief levels and confidence through your encouragement and example.

Bonne chance!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Beliefs-Drive-Our-Actions&id=10172431

Why Am I So Angry All the Time?

Ever wonder why something that normally causes only minor irritation, like our kids arguing with us, suddenly causes a blow up?

When we are grumpy, moody, testy, or irritated with someone (or seemingly everyone) it's generally an indication that we have an unmet need.

In relationships this will often show up when we feel our partner is not giving us something we need. Often we are either unaware of our own feelings or don't feel like we can ask for what we need because that would make us "selfish" or any number of other reasons.

"How can I ask my husband to help with the kids when he is putting in twelve-hour days?" or, "It makes me feel needy when I nag him for affection, yet I feel so unloved." The feelings of not getting enough support don't go away just because we feel we "shouldn't" have them, and resentment builds.

Often coping mechanisms like shopping, overeating, alcohol, or any other overindulgent behavior can mask these symptoms, but the problem is still there, and in time, it can really damage or destroy our relationships.

So what do we do? Well, sometimes this problem is bigger than can be resolved with just a day at the spa. Usually the best solution starts with something many of us find extremely difficult, like asking for what we need. We often don't ask because we fear an argument, rejection or have asked so many times without getting what we want that we have simply given up. In all cases, ask anyway; it helps us feel that our voice is being heard, and it helps us feel respectful of our own needs even if we don't get what we want.

Next, work on first identifying what we really need (love, support, connection), then figure out how to give it to ourselves. We might really need a day at the spa, always a good idea, since everyone needs a massage; or we might handle a need for connection by making new friends at a meetup.com event or by doing charity work. It might not be exactly what we most want, especially if we are feeling neglected in our relationship, but it will help. Sometimes couple's counseling can really help us learn to communicate better.

All of these changes start by asking ourselves "what's really going on?" and listening with and connecting to how we feel. Trust me, if we are yelling at the checkout clerk at the grocery store for giving us the wrong change, it probably has nothing to do with them. Love yourself enough to take the time to feed your real internal hungers and do what you can to get your needs met. You are totally worth it.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Am-I-So-Angry-All-the-Time?&id=8024430

The Vagaries of Life

When we are excessively occupied, we need to be well-grounded. We have to be prepared if things are not going according to plan as we expect. We need to remain flexible and open to chance because more likely than not, it's easy for us to react quickly to any new circumstances. But what's important is our effort to stay on track no matter how difficult it is to adapt to change.

With our mounting tasks, we sometimes do not know how to manage it. We need to have a well-planned schedule. Sometimes, we are most effective when we are willing to work and communicate closely with others.. Lots of ingenious ideas and creative thoughts allow us to have a clear sight in the variety of possibilities. So, we need to bring together our thoughts and plan our activities not just temporarily but for the long-term future.

With plenty of activities and responsibilities building up for us, it's important to go easy on ourselves and always remember our body is not always able to cope with an endless workload. A change of atmosphere and lifestyle is good for us to reinvigorate our mind and body.

But life is full of risks. Our misconception and underestimation can lead to vital mistakes, the very reason why we need to make well-informed decisions especially when confronted with uncertainties. Even if it makes us uncomfortable, our experience teaches us how to live with the ambiguities of life especially when the events are extraordinary and the stakes are high.

We need to strive to have a clear and objective understanding of unpredictable uncertainties of life. Our life will improve the moment we realize that our experience is the product of our own making. It's a choice. So, if our life is bitter, it's because we are a bitter creator. But we can get better even in hopeless situations, we can get up and learn from it.

Getting out of our circumstance is about making simple decisions and taking actions, always moving away from what we don't want and towards what we want. If we don't know what we want, then just move away from what we don't want until we figure it out.

Becoming clear on something that had previously been a road block in our life takes a lot of courage and responsibility. Like it not, we alone are responsible for the person we are today.

When you learn to decide your life is your own with no excuses is the best day of your life. You alone are responsible for the quality of life you want.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Vagaries-of-Life&id=9856213

Lessons Learnt: Group Conflicts

Being in a group situation means that you will need to know something about dealing with conflicts. I haven't been in a group that worked smoothly all the time. The reasons for tensions are varied as the people involved. Following are lessons that I have learn working in teams:

1. Clearly defined procedures: these include how to communicate and what the due process is in case of conflict, how often will the group meet, roles and description of each role. This is a "go to" manual when needed. To start any project/program without this is setting the group on a confused path.

2. Good leader:preferably with mediation skills. Someone who the team trusts to be impartial and who is a good listener. It is the leader's role to keep events on track. It is not always easy to find all of these traits in one individual so I have seen different group members assigned these roles. As long as all the members know who the go-to person is disagreements will be handled effectively.

3. Transparency is the key to project success: keep the channels of communication open and make information available to all group members. Periodically communicating the team's progress to all stakeholders helps in maintaining good relationships. I have tried getting a tie broken by putting the issue to vote by all members of the group. Methods of implementing transparency can range from sending messages to all members on all topics (be prepared to have a separate mailbox for this!) or starting each meeting with a "check in" where each group member talks about whatever's on their mind.

4. "Don't take it personally": I cannot tell you how many times I have said to myself and it always gets me out of impulsive reaction to someone hurtful, insulting comment. When I didn't say this to myself, I used to respond with anger and blurt out what's on my mind at that point in time. But slowly I realized it doesn't help the matter. Through mental counting, deep breathing, I have got a handle over my anger. This leads me to next suggestion, learn to de-stress.

5. Take a Break! Work is important but so is life. Take a break to do what you love. In my case it is to create, write or dance. I am not one to hit the treadmill, but I can dance up a storm be it in Zumba or Mumbo. Figure out a way to take your mind off the problem at hand, so that you can approach it with a fresh mind the next day. I like to combine this period with exercise as the endorphins released during activity will make me happy and sleep peacefully. Journaling can help you clear up your thoughts, maybe even put things in perspective. My favorite things to write in my diary is "Major Achievements for Today". It could be as simple as cooking a new dish.

There is no magic bullet to dealing with conflict but these steps have worked in making me more well balanced in my views. After all, isn't dealing with conflict all about how we perceive and respond to it? I would love to hear your experiences of conflicts and what worked for you!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Lessons-Learnt:-Group-Conflicts&id=8413173

How Do You Cope When You Find Others Sometimes Bothersome?

Why would you find others sometimes bothersome? Simple, it is their problem. They cannot cooperate or relay something they want or expect from you directly. So they nag at you and that is when they begin to pester you and get on your nerves. How do you cope with it? Read on to find out.

Here are a few scenarios and tips:

1) Give them a tactful and diplomatic response without getting mad when they nag at you without giving you any clues. Ask them if you can be of some help to them or if something is bothering them.

You have tried to be open and given them the opportunity to cooperate. If they are unable to communicate, forget the whole stuff and go ahead and enjoy your day. They are the last people on this earth you allow to make you pissed off.

2) They are bothering you by stealing roses from your garden, which you have tended with effort, pouring all your heart into the task. So what do you do? Simply confront and rebuke them strictly but without showing off your temper. Then they will never ever dare to step into your garden again.

3) Your spouse is pestering you with the rate he is smoking cigarettes. It's bad for him, your child and finally you. Without showing your anger, deal with it coolly. First of all bring up the topic of the welfare of your baby child and gradually hit your point. Tell him cigarettes will cause serious harm to your growing baby child. It will seriously affect him as well as you. Can't he think of quitting it? He can get help from a physician. Would he do it? This will make your spouse to start thinking and gradually take proper action.

4) Your little children are bothering you while you are cooking. They constantly demand your attention. Train them to help each other, do something creative and keep themselves busy. You buy them coloring picture books and crayons and teach them in your free time how to color the pictures. While they start to keep themselves busy and you are done with your cooking, look at their work and praise their efforts. That way they will never ever make you pissed off while you are busy.

5) Friends bother you about joining them in workouts or swimming exercises. While these help to keep you healthy and in good shape, you feel other things are more important to carry on in your life. Don't hesitate to decline their offer in a polite way. Tell them: Not now but maybe later when I am more free.

Summing up, those are five subtle ways people can really get on your nerves. Teach yourself to handle those problems in a polite but stern way and then everything should work out perfectly and you can go in your own sweet ways.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-Do-You-Cope-When-You-Find-Others-Sometimes-Bothersome?&id=9673647

Growing Our Tolerance for the Unknown (By Sarah Koestner)

"Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark."

- Agnes DeMille

I was listening to a New-Agey podcast the other day-- because I do that kind of thing sometimes. And the host was saying that he thought that people thousands of years ago could communicate telepathically. His rationalization was that people couldn't write letters and if they were separated for long periods of time, they must've found a way to communicate with each other. His hypothesis was that they must've done so telepathically.

I didn't necessarily agree with his hypothesis, but it got me thinking... about human beings today and how our intolerance for the "unknown" is so low. This random podcast led me to my own hypothesis: humans who lived thousands (or even a hundred) years ago must've had a much higher tolerance for the unknown.

A thousand years ago, information was extremely hard to come by. Books were rare and usually written in Latin. According to Google, only 6-15% of the MALE population was literate in the Middle Ages. There must've been a great deal they would've had to come to peace with not knowing.

Go back to 1915, just a hundred years ago, there was no internet, no television, no radio. There were telephones and it was possible to send a telegram, but it was expensive and uncommon for most people to do so frequently. People mainly wrote letters to communicate. If you wanted information, you had to go to a library or ask someone. Alternatively, you might have to live with the fact that there was a question that you could not answer.

Now there's us in 2015, living in the age of technology. In New York City, most of us walk around with palm-size computers in our hands (or at least within arm's reach) for at least 16 hours a day. Today, information is literally ALWAYS at our fingertips. Is there something you don't know? Not a problem, just Google it and you have your answer-- or in most cases, you have pages and pages of answers.

This has revolutionized the way we relate to the world. It has had many positive benefits, sure, but there are some negatives. I would argue that it has greatly lowered our tolerance for dealing with the unknown. We can find answers or confirm what we already know on an infinite number of subjects. "What was Robert Downey Jr's most recent movie?" "How do you make a chocolate soufflé?" "Should I worry about this funny looking mole on my right elbow?"

So when we are confronted with the questions we can't "Google," it's very disquieting to us. We have the answers to millions of questions one click away, but we don't have all the answers. "Am I going to get cast in that show?" "Did I do a good job at my callback today?" "Does my agent still like me?" Then there are even bigger life questions like, "Am I always going to work at a day job?' "Will my relationship last?" "Is there a God?" "What is the meaning of life?"

Of course, all of the above questions were always unanswerable (even before the internet). However a hundred years ago, there were also many more questions in any given day that were unanswerable. And so we were more used to living with the unknown. We were confronted with it all the time. Today, we are still confronted with the unknown, but information is so easy to come by that it makes the answers that we can't have intolerable! And this is backed up by the increasing rates of anxiety in our culture. According to an article in Salon, almost 1 in 5 people are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in any given year and 28.8% of the population had been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives.

How does this relate to acting you might ask? Well, it certainly relates to the anxiety that many of us experience when we're waiting to see if we booked a job or how nervous we get before we go in the room for an audition. Below are some coping strategies that may help increase your tolerance for the ambiguity we face in our lives.

• Unplug: turn your smart phone off or put it away two hours before you go to sleep each night. If you do leave it on, resist the urge to check Instagram or Facebook just one more time before you go to bed. You'll sleep better... and really you won't miss much. Give yourself the opportunity to sit with the uncomfortable feelings that might arise. I promise you they will pass and you will have given yourself the gift of growing your tolerance for the unknown.

• Get outside: Studies show that people who live in less populated areas suffer less anxiety and depression than those who live in urban areas. If you live in a city, make it a priority to get out of the city and into nature weekly. This doesn't even mean you have to leave the city. If you live in New York, go sit or take a walk in Central Park, Prospect Park or go to the Botanical Gardens in the Bronx.

• Meditate: Every day find time for stillness. Meditation can be what you want it to be. I don't necessarily mean sitting in the lotus position and contemplating your navel (although that can be great.) Meditation can be listening to a guided meditation, it can be sitting quietly and focusing on your breath or on a mantra, it can even be coloring in an adult coloring book. The most important thing is that you're taking space in your life for quiet stillness and contemplation.

• Exercise: This is perhaps the most important item on the list. When we exercise we create more space and flexibility in our bodies. Creating space in our bodies also creates space in our minds. Exercising regularly is a proven fighter of anxiety and depression. However, even if you don't suffer from either of these conditions it can still help to create more ease and joy in your life.

I'm not sure previous generations were telepathic, but I'd argue that people who lived in another era experienced more wonder and more uncertainty in their lives. And as a consequence, they had greater tolerance for the unknown. We can cultivate a greater tolerance for the unknown in our lives through the above tips and also through simply connecting with our breath, grounding, and having compassion for ourselves.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Growing-Our-Tolerance-for-the-Unknown&id=9210143

How to Communicate When Something's Been Done Badly

When you are in a leadership role, you will understandably hope that everything always goes well.

You will also probably hope that everyone working with you performs to their full capabilities and does everything necessary to support whatever the particular enterprise is.

However, what do you do when that isn't the case?

For most people who find themselves in a leadership position, this can be something of a nightmare. It is one of the biggest challenges when coaching leadership because so much depends upon both an individual set of circumstances and personal judgment.

However, here there are a few basic tips that may prove useful if you find yourself facing such a situation:

1. Make sure that you understand all the facts. Is sometimes easy, when facing disappointment, to subconsciously move into identifying someone you wish to blame. That can be disastrous if you happen to get it wrong and attribute responsibility to someone who, in fact, had little or nothing to do with it. So, make sure you understand all of the facts involved and once you are sure that it appears to be a performance-related issue, get someone independent to verify your conclusions before doing anything else.

2. Concentrate on solving the problem as your top priority. Inspirational leadership is about the showing you understand what is important and fixing the problem should be considerably more important than trying to understand how it happened and who is accountable.

3. Be certain that you understand the difference between a genuine mistake that can happen as a result of an error of judgement and poor performance which is perhaps typically attributed to questionable attitudes or shaky work ethic etc. Your tactics for dealing with the two should be significantly different.

4. Be clear whether a lack of training or required skills was an issue. If it is, do not hold the individual accountable but do something to bring them up to the required levels of ability.

5. If the issue is to do with a genuine mistake or a lack of the required skills, your approach to the individual should be consultative and advisory with the emphasis on helping them to learn. Do not under any circumstances enter into the allocation of blame or recriminations and retribution.

6. Almost inevitably as a leader, you will sooner or later have to face an individual who has a negative mindset or who lacks a commitment to the objectives in hand. See this as a mutual challenge for both of you to address and again do not be tempted to slip into angry confrontation, lecturing or handing out threats. These approaches are virtually never productive.

7. If you are dealing with such an individual, it's necessary to work with them calmly to try to understand what the drivers are behind their errors of approach or commitment. In the vast majority of such cases, the individual is not irredeemable and it is simply a question of putting in place, where humanly possible, training programmes or development aids to address the causes of their attitudes.

8. Finally, where you are trying to deal with such a case, never hide the truth or your perceptions from the individual concerned. This is neither in your interest nor theirs because they are unlikely to be able to deal with their performance issues unless someone has calmly discussed the matter with them and encouraged them to both recognise the problem and to do something about it.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Communicate-When-Somethings-Been-Done-Badly&id=8733104

It's Hard To Fix Someone

There's no magic formula that will just wipe off the hurt caused by a person you love so much. I am a living proof that one day when you wake up; it won't hurt anymore. You will realize that you only tortured yourself for so long by holding on to something that is so fleeting.

I realized that I am the one who cause the pain on myself. I'm the one to blame, because for the longest time I was trying to fix something that was already broken. I didn't want it to end. I didn't want to believe that I invested so much of my time and my emotions on something that was never stable since the very beginning.

Even if the truth hurts, that other person was not that invested to begin with. Probably because they have moved on long before I did. When you try to fix something that is already broken, you're settling for something so frail that it could easily be broken again. You're settling for something less and that could even potentially break you.

I think this is the reason why people can't move on, because they believe that if they try a little harder, if they can try to fix what's broken, if they can just find another way to communicate or deal with that person, they can get what they want. And that is to mend that wall. Basically, they'll be able to change.

I know it sucks when something doesn't happen just the way you want it especially in marriage. But it sucks even more when you're the only one trying, when you're the only one convincing yourself that maybe if you change a few things, you can make it work, when you tell yourself that you can fix what's broken because it's better than starting over. It hurts when you expect too much from someone who doesn't even give you a thought. It also hurts when you want other people to change but can't. It's quite depressing.

But the best way to handle this situation and save yourself from being hurt for constantly trying to mend your broken relationships is how you find healthy relationships. It all starts with you. And it starts when you stop trying so hard to fix what's broken in your past. When you stop trying to fix something together and start looking for something stable.

Reality sucks but it's true.

When your heart gets broken, you will never be the same again. You become a different people and scarred. You begin to see life through a different perspective.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Its-Hard-To-Fix-Someone&id=9774834

Overcoming Work Related Depression When You Work From Home

One of the most typical issues people who work from their home face is, working from home loneliness. Here are my suggestions to conquer depression caused by work, or perhaps, stay at home mom depression:

Be engaged on social media:

Yes, absolutely, these days with Twitter, FB, YouTube and all the others, choose one the suits you the most and really get involved.

Having online acquaintances with similar interests keeps you stay accountable and motivated, and will minimize if not totally rid, working from home loneliness.

Just that sensation that you are not alone is in some cases enough not to sink you into that, working from home loneliness.

They are an exceptional method of getting the word about your business and allow you to communicate with other company friends. Again just invest enough time on online forums to keep you inspired and motivated.

The Course in Miracles teaches to, "Seek and find."

I love listening to podcasts, too, and seeing what other professionals can teach me.

There are stacks of webinars and podcasts on the internet and is growing every day.

Take a brisk walk:

When you are working from the house it's quite easy to feel imprisoned and chained to your work station.

There are no water coolers to gossip at and take your mind away from work.

You just need to come up with something that can take your mind away from work related depression for some time.

Move to different place:

I sometimes get rather tired of my home office.

And of course working on the bed and viewing a movie on the cable television is always tempting and I have a fallen a victim to this trap lots of times.

I love the versatility that comes with working from my apartment, and if I prefer, I'll take my laptop to the library for a few hours.

There are nevertheless some drawbacks of working from home.

The most typical issue is working from home loneliness, and so do the stay at home mom depression symptoms arise for many raising children.

Again, just try to do some things, get involved where and when you can into online activities and relax.

The Course in Miracles further teaches us to, "Extend yourself which is how the miracle is performed."

If you allow yourself to be, you will only become your own prisoner.

Overcome work related depression and working from home loneliness by taking things lightly, while staying motivated and inspired.

To staying inspired!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Overcoming-Work-Related-Depression-When-You-Work-From-Home&id=9843610

Career Advice: Improve Your Communication Skills

The ability to communicate effectively is the most important skill for building your career. As you interact with your clients and colleagues, the way you communicate speaks volumes about your professionalism, and it allows you to forge powerful connections that will take your career to the next level. It is important to remember, however, that good communication involves more than just the ability to speak eloquently. Keep these strategies in mind as you work on your communication skills, and you will notice improvements in every area of your career.

Focus on Listening

Too often, communication breaks down because people are too distracted to listen. Although it's tempting to try to guess what the other speaker is going to say next or plan your response, it is important to stay focused throughout the other person's speech. Avoid staring out the window or glancing at your phone. Instead, look directly at the other person and make it your goal to hear every word they say.

Show Interest

People enjoy talking to people who give them a favorable response and showing interest in the other person is essential for building relationships with clients. In fact, a simple smile or nod as they talk can prompt them to provide you with more insight into their preferred style of financial management. While you do not have to agree with everything a person says, it does help to show that you are genuinely trying to understand their perspective.

Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues

Body language can often reveal far more than a person's words. Yet, you can also give off the wrong signals if your body language does not match the impression you want to convey. Make sure to maintain a calm, relaxed posture. Avoid crossing your arms or leaning back casually in your chair. Instead, lean toward the person who is speaking and make eye contact so they know you are fully involved in the conversation.

Ask for a Preferred Method of Communication

Everyone has a preferred way to communicate and tapping into a person's preferences will show you care while also getting you faster responses. During your initial meeting with someone, ask how they prefer to communicate. You may also notice when a client ignores your voicemails but quickly responds to an email. When this happens, switch your main method of communication to reflect their preference.

Provide Feedback

Misunderstandings are one of the biggest breakdowns in communication that can occur. For this reason, it is best to end every conversation with clarification of what has been discussed. Rephrase what the other person has said and ask questions about anything you do not understand. This gives the other person an opportunity to correct anything that may have been misinterpreted.

Improving your communication skills will bolster your career by eliminating misunderstandings and allowing you to build stronger professional relationships. As you work on this critical career skill, remember that communication strategies are always a work in progress. Treat each new contact as an opportunity to continue improving your ability to communicate and you will see results in the favorable responses you receive from your clients and colleagues.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Career-Advice:-Improve-Your-Communication-Skills&id=9480410

Why Training on How to Spot a Liar Is the Most Important Tool in Your Life

Although statistics vary, it is evident we communicate more with our nonverbal behaviors than we do with the words we use. This means, having the ability to read the real hidden emotions of politicians could put a whole new twist on the popularity vote.

When a group of students trained on how to spot a liar was asked only to read a criminal's nonverbal behavior, they were over 70% accurate. This is well above standard as we are only better than chance at detecting a lie. How to tell when someone is lying is very hard especially if you're unaware of the possible signs. Can you actually learn what and how to spot signs of hidden emotions that could ultimately lead to lies?

Absolutely. You can not only learn what to look for, but with practice, you can learn what questions can expose the lie further. But keep in mind, it is not about detecting lies, and it is about identifying behaviors brought on by stress. For example, what if during a sales deal you were able to spot a behavior opposite the words of the conversation. "That's my bottom line," may mean nothing if you spot a quick sign of contempt showing something different than the words. If trained to detect these behaviors, you would indeed protect your pocketbook by negotiating further.

Let's take a quick look at contempt. One side of the salesperson's mouth raised in a split second, indicating he may be hiding something. In this case, the seller knows it is not his bottom line. Can you imagine the impact this type of training can have on your life?

There may be times identifying a lie is not in your best interest, such as infidelity. Or is it? But what about a major sales deal where there are millions on the line. How about during the negotiation phase, you ask what you are purchasing will be manufactured on time. Spotting a leak in emotion could mean millions in sales.

Training on how to spot a liar is incredibly overlooked, but possibly the most valuable asset in your business and personal life. But you get a lot more than how to identify hidden emotions, but more importantly, it teaches you how your nonverbal behaviors can affect the conversation. Knowing what contempt looks like, you can use it to reroute a conversation to your way of thinking.

On any given day, someone will hear nearly 200 different lies. This is disturbing, but what is more concerning, are the lies meant to hurt you personally or your career. Although you will not detect all lies as this is impossible, if trained, you may detect that one lie that could forever change your life.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Training-on-How-to-Spot-a-Liar-Is-the-Most-Important-Tool-in-Your-Life&id=9677229

The First Step in Reading Body Language

Your baseline is how you communicate about non-stressful topics. It's what you might call "normal" movement and style of speaking.

When you've determined someone's baseline, you can start to read that person's body language, which is all about seeing and hearing the deviations from baseline.

Baseline and the factors contributing to it might change depending on the context. For example, your style of relaxed speech and behavior might be different at home and at work. As a corollary, the topics that trigger an emotional response in the two environments might be different. At work, if a direct report says, "No, I don't want to do that," you might feel a wave of stress coming on. But if your 12-year-old niece says, "No, I don't want to do that," it's just another day in adolescent land.

The skill of baselining focuses your attention on the components of a person's movements and characteristic of voice and speech.

Let's say you want to baseline your boss. Here's how you might do it.

The two of you are talking about a trade show coming up. You're doing mostly routine planning so there is no disagreement or anxiety in the conversation. You notice the following:

• When she's remembering how the booth looked last year, she looks up and to the left.

• When she's visualizing the booth for the next show, which should look very different, she looks up and to the right.

Even though reading eye movement to determine whether someone is remembering or imagining isn't foolproof, with a lot of people, it holds up time after time. That is, they look up to one side to recall something they know-it doesn't matter which side-and up and to the other side to construct a visual image. That left-right eye movement is part of her baseline.

Another thing you notice is that she doesn't usually use fillers such as "um" or "like." The only time you noticed her using a few fillers was when she happened to mention the budget for the new booth-maybe that was a source of stress for her.

Next, you see that she normally moves her hands and arms a lot. She seems to punctuate everything she says with raised arms or a pointed finger. What does it mean if you see her on the floor of trade show and she's talking without moving her hands or arms? That's a deviation from baseline and it means she's under stress!

When you're skilled at baselining, you notice big and little expressions. Baselining helps you recognize the details that matter.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-First-Step-in-Reading-Body-Language&id=9401012

7 Golden Keys to Listening

At Me or To Me?

All too often we are far more enthusiastic about talking than we are listening. Yet listening is vital if we are to communicate effectively. Most breakdowns in relationships are caused because people talk at each other not to each other. How does such a little word cause so much damage?!

When we are actively listened to, we feel valued and are far more likely to engage in negotiation and compromise.

Listening is about far more than words. Watching facial expression and body language is often a far more accurate barometer of what's going on than the words that are being used. An example is you hearing nice things being said but the smile doesn't reach the eyes.

Make Eye Contact - Then Relax

Read the body language of the talker. Are they relaxed, anxious, angry? Extremes are easy to recognize but often the message is much more subtle.

Mirror the talker's body language

Subtle and small motions here work best. This is a gentle dance rather than a caricature. Show that you are listening by a nod or ask a better question, or ask them to clarify if you are not clear about their meaning such as, 'So what you are saying is... '

Ask a better question

Start with who, what, where, or when. This will help you to form a question. Be careful of the tone of your voice when you respond or ask questions. It is all too easy to come across as judgmental or as an interrogator from the Spanish Inquisition if you're not present and in the moment.

Be Empathetic

If you feel sad when the person with whom you are talking expresses sadness, joyful when she expresses joy, fearful when she describes her fears-and convey those feelings through your facial expressions and words-then your effectiveness as a listener is assured. Empathy is the heart and soul of good listening.

To experience empathy, you have to put yourself in the other person's place and allow yourself to feel what it is like to be her/him at that moment. This is not an easy thing to do. It takes energy and concentration. But it is a generous and helpful thing to do, and it facilitates communication like nothing else does. Acknowledge the person by saying- 'oh I'm sorry to hear that.' Be careful not to fall into the trap of going into anecdotes from your experience, though. Say "I get the feeling that you're upset, how I can help?' rather than "Oh I know how you feel because the same thing happened to me! But wow mine was bigger, more difficult etc.'

Take a genuine interest

If you're simply going through the motions the lack of sincerity will be obvious to others. Leave your ego behind and have your full attention on the other person.

Don't interrupt or offer Solutions

When I was growing up I was taught that it's rude to interrupt. I'm not sure that message is getting across anymore! Certainly the opposite is being modeled on the majority of talk shows and reality programs, where loud, aggressive, in-your-face behavior is condoned, if not encouraged.

Interrupting sends a variety of messages. It says:

· "I'm more important than you are."

· "What I have to say is more interesting, accurate or relevant."

· "I don't really care what you think."

· "I don't have time for your opinion."

· "This isn't a conversation, it's a contest, and I'm going to win."

We all think and speak at different rates. If you are a quick thinker and an agile talker, the burden is on you to relax your pace for the slower, more thoughtful communicator-or for the employee who has trouble expressing himself.

When listening to someone talk about a problem, refrain from suggesting solutions. Most of us don't want your advice anyway! If we do, we'll ask for it. Most of us prefer to figure out our own solutions. We need you to listen and help us do that. Somewhere way down the line, if you're absolutely bursting with a brilliant solution, at least get the speaker's permission. Ask, "Would you like to hear my ideas?"

http://ezinearticles.com/?7-Golden-Keys-to-Listening&id=9368253

Assertiveness, The Right Way of Being!

Assertiveness is the ability to formulate and communicate one's own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct, and non-aggressive way. It is the ability to express oneself and one's rights without violating the rights of others. The ability to be assertive is an asset which is necessary to achieve worthwhile aims and impose some order and justice in one's environment. Assertiveness does not equate to being selfish as one pays attention to not only his/her own rights, but also is sensitive to the rights of others.

It would be good to understand here the difference between assertive behavior and other types of behavior. Aggressiveness means that one expresses one's own rights but at the expense of degrading, or humiliating another individual whereas submissiveness means that one is just unable to express one's rights and keeps compromising the self, leaving one with feelings of humiliation, guilt and dissatisfaction.

Thus the types of responses that one can give in a situation are different. Let us take a look at the types of responses and what they would mean: Assertiveness

• Submissiveness: I lose-You win
• Aggressiveness: I win-You lose
• Assertiveness: I win-You win

Thus one would understand that 'When you communicate assertively, you are more likely to achieve your goal without becoming involved in a conflict with the other person which then leads one to the I win-You win position'.

But are there any reasons that are keeping you from being assertive? Let us explore some which may be the impediments that may not be allowing you to assert yourself:

1. Fear of change.
2. Refusal to admit one's submissiveness.
3. Fear of ruining relationships if you speak your mind.
4. Lack confidence in your ability.

Dealing with the following before you embark on the journey towards transformation is important:

1. Deal with the anxiety associated with change.
2. Reconcile the conflicts within your value system.
3. Assess the repercussions of being assertive.
4. Prepare others for the changes they will see in your behavior or attitude.

Developmental measures on a way to Assertiveness...

What you could do to become assertive:

• Use "I" messages
• Choose assertive words carefully
• Check-up
• Action plan Benefits of Assertiveness:

Here are the Benefits of Assertiveness:

Embark on this journey towards assertiveness; motivate yourself towards being assertive as the benefits are immense:

• Better management of relationships
• More balanced lifestyle
• Improvement in productivity and effectiveness as a worker
• More in control of one's daily schedules and plans
• Reduced stress.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Assertiveness,-The-Right-Way-of-Being!&id=9353067

How Love Notes Can Be Your Secret Weapon In Relationships

Love, the intangible and immeasurable stuff that transcends all and connects the universe. And Love notes, the gestures big or small, used by us every day, more than we realize. The correct use of which, make all our relationships so much easier.

We express to others the way we like to be expressed to. Which means if you are the 'touchy-feely' type, you are likely to express your Love notes in a 'touchy-feely' way (Hugs, kisses, did I mention hugs! ).

They are not something only partners, lovers or close family members use for people they love.

Love notes are used as an expression from one living being to another.

The notes could express 'I see you', 'I am thinking of you', 'I want you to be supported', 'I love you', 'I like you', 'I adore you', 'I am grateful', 'I am with you', 'We are in this together', 'You matter'...

Love notes infuse a dose of care, concern, connection into our interactions and take many shapes:

• A friend leaving a cleaned pot and tea strainer for me to use every morning
• My boss getting me a bottle of water because I was having a packed day at work
• A surprise gift from my neighbor
• My husband sitting in an uncomfortable position for hours so I could have the perfect snuggle
• The stranger at the store holding my bags while I put on my raincoat
• A social media follower who reads and engages me on every blog I write
• My nephew blowing me a flying kiss as we Skype

To be honest, they don't necessarily come to you only as words expressed by someone who loves you. They can be expressed by friends, acquaintances and strangers in a variety of ways.

We only need to be aware and stay in the moment to pick up all these Love notes that are constantly showered on us. That will make all the difference in how we feel about our relationships and interactions.

And more importantly, how we view the world and our place in it.

Do you have an example of such 'Love notes' you have experienced recently?

Maybe it was something you did or said differently? Maybe it was a realization you had about how you communicate? Or maybe, it was a realization about how someone you know likes to be communicated to.

Whatever the case, we'd love to hear your take on the whole experience.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Love-Notes-Can-Be-Your-Secret-Weapon-In-Relationships&id=9383726

Non-Verbal Communication

Not many people know, but almost 80% of the interactions we have with others is done via non-verbal communication.

Now, one must think, how can we communicate non-verbally? What exactly is non-verbal communication?

Well, non-verbal communication is that type of communication which deals with all communications via body language, gestures, writing letters/memos/notices etc.

In your professional life, most of the communication between colleagues or your seniors is done via non-verbal communication.

Let us take a few examples:

1. To let the staff know about an urgent opening/closing of office or change in office timings.

A notice is drafted and is set up on a notice board. A circular may also be circulated to the staff regarding the message which needs to be conveyed.

2. To make certain propositions to other companies.

A written proposition is drafted so as to be given to other organization. They read the terms and conditions and may or may not join the venture of the company.

3. For a colleague to ask for something.

Foe a colleague/ staff member to take a holiday/sick leave or some complaint etc, they need to draft a written permission/ letter and send it to the required official.

Aside all this, our day-to-day conversations deal with such type of communication.

Let us take a few very common examples, which we tend to ignore.

1. When in a group, we have our back towards a specific individual.

It is proven that a person who one doesn't like, he/she will always tend to turn their back towards that particular person - indicating that they don't want him/her as a part of the group/discussion.

2. In India, it is said to meet elders with a "Namaste" and touch the feet of elders.

The "namaste" gesture shows respect to others. Touching their feet is a kind way of saying that we will always follow your footsteps and won't let you down.

3. Eyes.

Did you know, eyes do a lot of talking, it isn't just a phrase! Eyes can show love, anger, sorrow, despair and even depression! A happy person will have glowing eyes. People who are angry tend to have big eyes, almost as if they are going to pop out. People full of sorrow tend to have weepy or dull eyes.

See, just by looking into someone's eyes you can understand what they feel. Not about a situation or life, even about you!

4. Posture.

Did you know, the way you sit/stand says a lot about you?

If a person slouches and sits with bad posture - i.e. slouched shoulders- he/she is said to have low self-esteem and low self-confidence.

A person with good posture, upright back and perfect shoulders will be seen as self-confident and have a lot of self-esteem.

As the above scenarios suggest, we need to watch out for what we communicate non-verbally is more important than what we say as it expresses a lot more.

There is a whole study on micro and macro expressions done by Paul Ekman, for anyone interested in knowing more about how what we don't say, says it all! I suggest you watch the TV series "Lie to me" by Paul Ekman or the BBC Documentary " The human face"

http://ezinearticles.com/?Non-Verbal-Communication&id=9426565

Do You Have a Low Tolerance for BS?

"If I'm fat just tell me I'm fat."

You tell it like it is and you expect others to do the same. Sure, you take feelings into consideration... sometimes!

You talk straight to your kids, including teenagers, you talk straight to your boss, your spouse, and your parents. You expect the same, right? You want straight talk from your mechanic, your accountant and your fitness trainer. "If I'm fat just tell me I'm fat" you tell your trainer.

If you can see yourself in any of these situations you, my friend, have a low tolerance to BS.

How to communicate BS free and without looking like a jerk?

It's easy to communicate BS free, you just have to care about the other person and what they are saying, feeling, and wanting. If you care about that employee, boss, family member and they know it, you can talk BS free and expect the same from them. If there are repercussions if they speak their mind, or you judge them for doing so, you'll get BS for the rest of the day, week, month, you know, forever. Simple as that.

Not that simple? OK, try using these strategies for better communication:

1. Pay attention

Notice I said pay attention, not just listen. I say this for a reason. You must listen intently, with your mind, your ears, your eyes and your body. Your body language will tell the other person that they are important, that you care, and that they have your full attention, all of it. Not half of your attention shared with a text or Facebook, or a call that you have to take, or the TV. I mean all of it. Put your phone to the side, or turn it off (yes I said it) and look the person in the eyes with your shoulders facing them.

2. Don't Interrupt

Next time you're part of a group conversation count how many times people jump in, add, or simply interrupt the speaker. They might do it directly to the person speaking or turn to another person and start a conversation. We all have the urge to talk, and to express ourselves, but don't do it! You can nod, say "aha", and give positive facial expressions, but don't interrupt. If the person goes off topic bring them back with "I really want to know what happened next". In extreme occasions you might say "Get to the point" or if you want to be subtle "Finish the story, I only have ten minutes".

3. Don't Judge

This is the big one. If you start judging you'll start getting BS simply because nobody will want to tell you straight up what they did, what they are thinking or what the situation is. Your employees will give you a thick story that sounds like "it wasn't my fault" all the way through. Your kids will say how it's the teachers fault they're getting the failing grade, you know the story. Unless you have a law degree and were appointed and nominated to the Supreme Court by the President, don't judge.

Remember, part of NO BS by definition is no judging. It's about getting to a goal, the goal might be to feel better, or to come up with a solution. Remember, not all problems have solutions, especially many of the emotional ones.

4. Ask Questions

Asking questions engages you in conversation. It opens up the other person to share what they really want to say. Sometimes you even have to tell them "I really want to know" but many times a "Tell me what happened" is sufficient. Practice asking questions and digging into life, business or other life issues. Yes, it takes practice. If you're a consultant or a salesperson you know what I'm talking about.

5. Now You Can Talk: Your Delivery

Now that people know you care, you listen and your intentions are good, you can be as direct as you want with no repercussions. If you're speaking with someone you don't know it will not work until they know who you are and what you're about. Practice it in your home first before taking it out in the real world. Let me know how it goes, no BS!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-You-Have-a-Low-Tolerance-for-BS?&id=9428404

How To Make Work Life Balance a Reality

Recently I was speaking with a colleague who was venting the challenges of balancing her work schedule saying she regularly has calls at 6am to accommodate professionals on the east coast and in the same day will also have calls scheduled at 11pm with professionals in another part of the world. She said it felt like she could work around the clock and still not be able to meet the demands of her work life.

Technology, the World Wide Web, and many other challenges have contributed to a world where we could literally work around the clock 24/7 if we let others' demands and requests rule our day. With schedules filled with endless calls, meetings, networking events, action items and urgent deadlines our careers can feel like we are chasing, but never quite catching, that dangling carrot called Work Life Balance or the new and improved Work Life Fit.

It is time to take back your life by utilizing some handy calendaring tools (using Microsoft Outlook email service as an example) and following a few time management tips. You will have more personal time to spend with family, friends and/or in peace-filled solitude re-fueling your energy reserves, so you can be your best self and produce your highest quality work product on a regular basis.

Tips for Making Work Life Balance a Reality:

1) Boundaries: We each personally know, better than anyone else, the workload we are carrying on our plates and when those plates are filled to overflowing. It is not uncommon to feel resentful when we are overwhelmed and overloaded with continuous requests and commands from our clients and/or work colleagues. What is important to remember, is that the people sending those requests rarely know the workload we are carrying. This is why creating, broadcasting and protecting boundaries is critical in the prevention of burnout which can lead to requests falling through the cracks, poor quality workmanship and even health issues.

2) Get clear on the hours you are willing to work. Common sense is necessary here; if you work in a field which requires 40 to 50 hour work weeks attempting to work 30 hours a week may not go well for you. However, on the flip side, working 80 to 100 hour work weeks is unreasonable and long-term could be a danger to your health and well-being. Use your calendar to map out your work hours. Block off recurring time-frames in advance to: catch-up on emails (mark as busy), take calls & meet with your team (mark block of time as available until these time-frames fill in), etc. Be careful with being too flexible with your time, it could easily lead to an overflowing work plate.

3) Manage your time. If you have deliverables, presentations, etc., block off time in your calendar to diligently work on those projects and then be loyal to those time frames. Don't cheat yourself (and your team) by accepting additional work unless you realistically know you have the bandwidth/means to complete everything with quality and pride. This free guide will take you through the Apps that will help you manage your time efficiently. 

Click Here to Download Your FREE Guide

4) Manage expectations. If you have projects you anticipate will require calls at 6am and 11pm; build your schedule around those calls. Pick the days of the week you are willing to be available during each time frame, create blocks in your calendar (showing available) for those time frames and then communicate that availability when necessary. Also, create compensatory blocks of time (mark as busy) before or after the fact to ensure you still have time to catch-up on email, complete assignments, get sufficient sleep, etc.

5) Protect your personal time. Responding to emails, accepting meetings, projects and calls during the time frame you have dedicated as your personal time communicates that your personal time is less valuable than another's. Block off your personal time in your calendar, including family/me-time (busy), time at the gym (busy) and when you plan to sleep (recurring out of office) and protect that time as if it were a doctor's appointment for a loved one. Your health and well-being could depend upon it.

6) A No and a Yes. "I'm unable to do ABC, but what I can do is XYZ" This technique is very powerful. It conveys that you are a team player, have a genuine desire to help and puts the control of your workload in your hands. You know what your availability is and what it isn't. Here is an example of a No and a Yes "I'm working to meet a tight deadline, but if this (request) can wait until Wednesday (offer genuine availability), I would be happy to take a look at it then."

7) Add Reminders: Not all email requests are urgent (despite the all caps and exclamation points). Many emails can often be assigned a future date and time to revisit. This is especially handy if you have a number of urgent matters you are working on, but want to make sure the lower priority items don't fall through the cracks. If you use Outlook as your email service, there is a follow-up feature (icon shows as a red flag). Right-clicking on the flag and then selecting Add Reminder will open a box with an option to add a reminder. Assign the specific date and time you plan to address the request, click OK, save and then close the email. You will receive a pop-up reminder on the date and time you selected with the email attached to the reminder.

8) Create and practice verbal responses. One of the most difficult parts of broadcasting boundaries is knowing what to say. Draft a few phrases that fit your work-life scenarios, practice saying them out load (in the car when you're alone works' great!) and then use those phrases to protect the time-frames you have blocked off. Here are a few examples: "I have another call at that time that I am unable to reschedule, but let's schedule a follow-up call to go over any action items I can help with"; "I would like to help, but I have several urgent deadlines I am working to meet. If this can wait until [offer time frame] I should have some time and would be happy to help"; "I will be on vacation, but can check in with you when I return to see if you still need assistance."

Creating healthy boundaries can help to prevent you from feeling like a hamster forever running on that workplace hamster wheel. What happens to that hamster when it can no longer run on the wheel? What is it costing you long-term to work unreasonable hours with an overloaded work plate?

Ultimately, it is beneficial for you, your colleagues, your clients and even your place of employment when you are healthy, rested and experiencing a sense of work life balance. It boosts your energy, improves your ability to focus and makes growing your career a much more enjoyable process with a greater likelihood of long-term success.

Also the following tools and Apps will help you manage your time properly, have a good balance between your and your life and yet, observe greater productivity levels.

Click Here to Download Your FREE Guide

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