What Is the Worth of Your Life in Your Own Eyes?

My meditation teacher posed this question for contemplation.

My first reaction was, "Not much."

I mentally walked away from the whole subject.

Later, I came back to it to the question, and thought, "Wait a minute. Which part of me gave that answer?"

You already know that we have many different aspects within us, so my followup question was a valid one.

By asking this second question, I realized it was my Ego aspect responding. The Ego is very judgmental and thinks in terms of limitation. It sees itself as very small, and while at times it might arrogantly believe it's the biggest and best and deserves everything, this comes from a greedy place of one-upmanship.

The Ego is filled with negativity, too.

I remember reading, many years ago, the novel called, The Good Earth, by Pearl S. Buck. It takes place in China, in a culture where peasants were afraid of the gods. They were taught, and taught their children, to never give a compliment or saying anything positive about a child because it might offend the jealous gods. A jealous God had the power of life and death, and might cause the child to die.

This type of thinking comes from the Ego aspect.

So I asked myself again, "What is the worth of your life in your own eyes?"

This time, I heard my I Am Presence saying,

"You are of infinite worth because you are Infinite Consciousness. You are completely perfect and pure, and worthy of all things, all existence.

Your life is of great value to Infinite Consciousness and to others because you are an expression of the Divine Self, a part of that One Consciousness that contains all and expresses itself through All."

Can you feel the difference in the energy between this response and the first one?

This response feels expansive, and full of Light and Love. In my mind's eye, I can see it glowing. Can you?

The importance of this experience should not be minimized.

How we react to each event in our lives is our choice,

You can choose allow the Ego is run things.

OR

You can choose to take charge of what you think.

We can remind ourselves that the Ego is an artificial construct. We can remind ourselves that the Ego provides a false view of who we are and of reality.

Infinite Consciousness is who we are, and that perspective expresses the Truth.

So when you ask yourself, "What is the worth of your life in your own eyes?" what answer do you get?

Do you think in terms of how much money you earn or how many things you own?

Do you think in terms of what you look like physically?

Do you think in terms of how many friends you have or whether you are married or have children?

All thoughts like these are about the mundane world.

Your "worth" goes far beyond that, for beyond this or any lifetime.

Your worth is infinite, because you, the true you, is infinite.

https://ezinearticles.com/?What-Is-the-Worth-of-Your-Life-in-Your-Own-Eyes?&id=10105800

Giving Advice: Help or Hindrance? (By Judy Ringer)

I received an email recently from a gentleman asking for my help, saying he wanted to be less judgmental and more sensitive to friends and family. He explained that he was in a close, loving relationship, and that his lack of awareness sometimes creates stress.

In a recent conversation, for example, his partner pointed out that when he gives her advice and uses the word "you," she tends to become defensive. He says he wants to help his partner solve problems, and he thinks of his suggestions as brainstorming, even though she hasn't necessarily asked for advice.

I thanked him for his inquiry and emailed back a few thoughts. I appreciate his quest for knowledge, and he clearly has a dedicated partner on his side--someone who cares enough to advocate for what she needs. With his growing awareness and her willingness to offer feedback on how his genuinely positive intention is affecting her in not so positive ways, they'll learn a lot from each other.

Tips on Non-Judgment, Advice, and the Willingness to Change

I think this scenario is not at all unusual. I love to help people, too. And sometimes advice is not what's needed. Sometimes I make judgments and offer advice when my partner just wants someone to listen.

In my reply email, I thought hard about non-judgment, advice, and the willingness to change. I hope these tips make your day a little easier, too...

• It's impossible not to judge--we're always doing it. The practice is to notice and see if it's helpful or not. The judgment won't necessarily be inaccurate, but it will hamper your ability to listen and engage skillfully in the conversation.
• Non-judgment includes not judging yourself, which only slows the learning process. Be fascinated instead of frustrated when you realize you need a do-over.
• Let other trusted friends and family know your intentions around learning these skills, and invite feedback if you're comfortable with that.
• Listen more than you talk. Notice if you have a pattern of wanting help by giving advice--a wonderful intention, but sometimes not needed or wanted.
• When you start to give advice, stop, take a breath, center yourself, and ask the other person if they want advice, or if they would just like you to listen.
• As you listen, try to understand what the speaker needs and what they're feeling.
• Acknowledge what you hear, as in: "It sounds like you had a rough day, and that you really helped a lot of people."
• Read a few books: My book, Unlikely Teachers is written in short story format and covers all of the above. Also, Difficult Conversations, by Stone, Patton and Heen, and Crucial Conversations, by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler, offer classic conversational awareness tools.

The founder of Aikido, Morihei Ueshiba, said: "Always practice the Art of Peace in a vibrant and joyful manner." Trust your instinct. Don't be afraid to engage, and enjoy the process.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Giving-Advice:-Help-or-Hindrance?&id=9864640

To Each His Own (By Wilson Horrell)

This weekend I had some time to kill. I didn't REALLY want to do anything, but I didn't want to do nothing either. I grabbed my laptop and just kind of stared at it. There wasn't really anything that I wanted to read about, and nothing which I cared to learn. I don't watch the news and I don't read the newspaper. I have not really any interest in what is going on in the world, and I have a hard time wrapping my head around most things global. Being that I have so much enjoy writing, I googled "what makes a successful writer". As I read each individual point, instead of absorbing the information that the experienced writer was conveying, I found myself conjuring up my own bullet points as to why I would not be following the instruction. The article stated "not use foul language", well that will be difficult. It also said to "target a specific audience", NOPE. The author advised to "keep the content consistently based around a singular topic", I wouldn't even know where to begin. And finally, "make sure that you provide fresh and interesting information about your area of expertise", which is difficult because I don't have any knowledge about any one area, and I'm certainly no expert. So, up your butt Mr. This-is-what-you-need-to-do-to-be-a-writer-guy. Im not doing any of what you tell me to do. To be clear, I actually think his advice is pretty solid, and he seemed to be a really good writer; its me, not him (**GRAMMAR BREAK- I have no clue when to use a semi colon, but I'm dying to slide one in, because Drew Womack did it once, "Finding Nineveh" ). I CAN NOT STAND being told what to do, even if it is in the most constructive of ways, when I feel like I am being ordered, all my defensive walls go up along with the hair on the back of my neck (which is plentiful). There is something about resisting the recommended path that I have always found satisfying. Now I have paid for this characteristic time and time again, but my pattern of not following good advice has remained constant even through adulthood, but much of the logic behind my unwillingness to conform has changed greatly.

I became all-knowing at a very young age, probably about nine. I heard my mom and dad tell me this and that, but never really listened. The teachers at school did all that they could, and I was lucky to even be able to attend Sunday School. Athletic coaches would punish me, but I still knew better. Basically, I was a little pain in the butt. I think it only became worse as I got to high school. Being a knowledge savant, I was unable to understand, empathize, or agree with anyone who did not see the world as I did. I knew what was "right" and if you did not side with me, than you were wrong. I treated the people on my side pretty fairly, and I was a judgemental jerk to those who were different than me. I'm embarrassed to think of much of my past behavior, but I have accepted it for what it is, and have learned a great deal from it. I can think of few examples where my mom and dad warned me that "if I crossed my eyes that they would stay that way", where they didn't turn out to be exactly right. However, I just have to do things a different way. The interesting part of my unwillingness to conform is that it has done a 180 degree shift from my being "all-knowing" to my not knowing jack jerky. Having been absolutely wrong about most everything that I, at one time or another, regarded as "fact" or "truth", it has been a real relief to see that I don't know much of anything... and don't have much of a need to. With the revelation of my excessive level of ignorance, I was able to see one thing quite clear and that is this, NO ONE REALLY KNOWS THE ANSWERS. We each have different viewpoints on various topics because we have each had different life experiences. Depending on which angle you look through the prism, each person is going to categorize different events in different ways, and have varying opinions. No particular belief has to be "right" or "wrong", because they just "are". But I do love to listen to people converse over why their viewpoint is superior over another's, and to hear them exercise their perceived knowledge about what we as a society should or shouldn't do.

I want to let you in on a little secret. You want to know what it is? Of course, you do. Everyone loves secrets. Well here it is... I paint my toe nails. I haven't always painted them, but I do now. It started off as being sorta something funny that I did while Amanda and I were getting a pedicure. Mississippi State was playing Alabama that weekend, and I was trying to put a juju curse on the Tide. Turns out, I could have cut off both of my feet, glued them to my forehead, and it would not be enough to avoid the tail whippin that they put on us, but I digress. So, I had each of my piggies painted maroon, and the middle toe painted white. This would be something that I would do one time, get some giggles from my kids, and would just be another story. However, I found that people really had an opinion about what I did with my toes. It actually evoked feeling in people, and made some so uncomfortable that I felt as if they were holding back anger! It was really interesting, I loved it. Obviously, my only option was to do it again, but this time red, and again, but now they are gold... with glitter. I like the feeling that it evokes, but I am also a 6 foot, 250lb, educated, straight, white male who is making this decision solely from my interest in the sociological aspect. I can't imagine what it would be like to be different, when you never asked to be different, and were treated different anyway. It makes me sad. It makes me sad because of all of the times that I am guilty of it, and it makes me sad that so many people are victims of it. Believe it or not, I had no intention of veering off into an equal rights essay, but that's how my brain works. Anyways, the older I get, and the more I feel like a stable member of society, the more I appreciate those that voluntarily go against the grain. I don't want anyone getting hurt, but I like it when people are willing to turn a few heads in an effort to live the way that they see fit, and not feel like that they have to act or be a certain way.

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine on Sunday at the gym. We were discussing my toe-nails and why he did or did not agree with them. This guy is someone whom I respect and admire (GRAMMAR BREAK- it's a total craps shoot as to whether I use "who" or "whom" BTW, just a guess). It was interesting to hear him verbalize just how and why he felt particular ways about different things. Keep in mind that we were having a discussion, not an argument. An argument is when I believe myself to be "right", and do not have any desire to LEARN anything... I just want to win. I have a much greater history of arguing rather than conversing, but I am learning. I think the fact that I have so much admiration for this particular person made it easier for me to listen to his views. We were on such different ends of the belief spectrum that we were not even standing in the same time zone, but at no time did I ever see him as "right" or "wrong", as much as I did just "different". I like to see people do wild stuff, things that evoke an opinion from others, especially those who break the stereotypes. Amanda Drogmiller is one of my Amanda's very best friends and one of my all time favorite people. Just last week, Drogmiller and my Amanda went to get Drogmiller's nose pierced and Amanda got yet another tattoo. I absolutely love this sort of thing. Amanda quoted Drogmiller as saying that even though they are in their mid-thirties they felt really cool and youthful... until they got to the parking lot and boarded the mini-van. I just like seeing the societal norms challenged, I think that they should be. I like to see the (other) fat guy at the race, the skinny guy on the weights, the business man with the eyebrow pierced, and the long headed go shaved. It is fun for me to watch my generation move into the executive office of life, and the fact that we don't have to dress and act like our grandparents did. It does not make my generation right, or their generation wrong, it's just different. Back in the day it was coat and tie, no questions asked. If you did not wear coat and tie, your chances of survival were slim. Turns out, there where people closer to my age (I am 39), who did not like coats and ties, were not going to wear coats and ties, and had all the ambition, knowledge, and drive necessary to avoid them. I enjoy watching society evolve. I enjoy watching the things that were once social faux pas turn into societal norms, while we come up with other garbage to pick apart, so we can find the reasons that our world will not exist much longer, and remain perpetually unhappy. Today I want to pay close attention to the things I see in other people that evoke an emotional response. I want to see what it is that makes me feel threatened about them, and why I choose to let it bother me. If it is something that I believe that I can (and should) change, than I will act on it, otherwise I am going to do like Elsa and let that mess gooooooooo. Enjoy your day, you big sexy animal.

Peace, Love, and all things Beef related,

http://ezinearticles.com/?To-Each-His-Own&id=9385406

5 Steps to Shift a Negative Experience Into a Good One ( A Tale By a Former Fireman)

One time, in the rookie beginnings of my fire career, I almost took what a patient said to me personally. Almost.

I can picture her clear as day, even now, sitting in the well-worn booth of the restaurant, with a couple of her friends. The overwhelming smell of cheap perfume, greasy food, and hairspray floated over the table to me, as I looked at our possible patient, a heavily made- up woman who was dressed in loud, gaudy colors that matched her fiery expression.

Restaurant management had called 911 because the woman was causing a disturbance and refusing to quiet down. Her friends, angry at the restaurant manager, were not much help, but finally conceded that their friend was more agitated than normal. PD was standing by, ready to escort her out of the restaurant if she would not calm down.

As I was trying to talk to her, take her pulse and perform my initial medical assessment, she got up into my face. Who the hell did I think I was? What the hell did I think I was doing? And some other choice names flew my way.

Those fiery eyes, with her razor's edge breath on my face got to me and my rookie self. My indignation rose fast. I felt the words bubble up to the back of my throat and my tone about to turn sharp.

Just then, I was saved my by my paramedic partner's voice, "Blood sugar 45."

When you are a diabetic and going into insulin shock because your blood sugar level is 45, you usually aren't even conscious! If you haven't become unconscious yet, you do not feel good. And you are, most often, not nice.

It's not personal.

I swallowed my unspoken words and winced at their sour taste, and I never forgot the guilty bellyache I got after that.

We Can Never Know Anyone Else's Story

I have tried to translate that important experience in all aspects of my life since then, and in many situations I try to remember, "It's not personal." Granted it can be hard sometimes, especially when it seems personal--when someone cuts us off in traffic, or steals the parking spot right from under our nose, or aims unkind words our way.

One of the key elements, for me, in remembering to not take things personally, is acknowledging that I can never really know anyone else's story. Where they come from, who they are, what they are going through, what their innermost feelings are, how they have been shaped by the people that surrounded them, or the events in life they have encountered. Not my best friend, not even my sister.

When I can acknowledge that I do not really know someone's story, I become much less judgmental of others and their actions. When I can acknowledge that I cannot completely know someone or what really hides behind their actions, people's offenses become a lot less personal.

Pause, Before Reacting

How can we practice not taking offenses personally? When someone "wrongs" us, we can pause. Count to ten if you want. Take a deep breath. Take ten deep breaths. Can you pull back and become the observer? Be patient with yourself. It may take some practice resetting the habit of initially reacting. You will be living in a very conscious manner when you start practicing pause.

Practice Empathy

In this pause, as we try to avoid instant reaction, we can take the opportunity to change our habit of personalizing things to the next level. Perhaps we can practice a little empathy. We can start with the question, "I wonder why?" I have since learned from that emergency call many years ago, that on the medical emergency scene, this is a very wise question.

In fact, it is a wise question in any situation. I have found when we simply ask," I wonder why?" whether we condone certain behaviors or not, this question shifts the energy of judgment to the energy of empathy. Practicing a little bit of empathy as we observe the world is a good place to start. And then when someone affords us a bit of empathy when we've messed up, we realize how important that can be.

Turn Your Eye Inward

You will know you have become a master of not personalizing things when you begin to notice how your own reactions to someone else might really be about yourself.

When it is you who is angry at someone, feel your anger; and then when you are calm, ask yourself, "What is the feeling underlying my anger? Is it unworthiness? Is it fear? Can I possibly own it?"

Maybe you do not need to put it on someone else. When you have owned it, notice how your anger toward the other has diminished or even disappeared.

Move Ever Forward

Today I happily stood in the center of a world that is not my norm. Today I got to be yard duty person at my first grader's school. It was a colorful whirlwind of little people, in a world filled with laughter, screaming, running, jumping, and climbing. The thing that stood out to me as I observed this vibrant world is that, for all its apparent chaos, it flows. Things happen, accidents happen, heads get bumped, feelings get hurt, toes get stepped on. And then they move on. Quickly.

First graders are really good at not taking things personally, I surmised. They don't have time for that sort of thing. The present moment is always carrying them forward.

I watched as two little girls skipped off together, arm in arm, after weathering a brief storm in their friendship. I smiled to myself.

We could learn a lot from them.

http://ezinearticles.com/?5-Steps-to-Shift-a-Negative-Experience-Into-a-Good-One&id=9304086

Chronically Unhappy People Are As Toxic As The Plague: Are You One?

We all have bad days, but chronic unhappiness is toxic. Not only to those around you but to yourself especially. Nobody wants to live an unhappy life, so why not change? University of California researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky claims, "40 percent of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change." This means there's hope for us all.

So what creates unhappiness? Your beliefs, attitude, behavior choices, and the way you view the world. Sure, we all have moments of unhappiness but there are certain traits and habits that chronically unhappy people do on a daily basis.

So how do you know if you're one of these unhappy people? We've listed 10 traits and habits that might help you identify whether or not you are one of them.

1. They live a pessimistic life. Unhappy people view their glass as half empty rather than half full. Everything they do and everything they say is typically negative. They are less likely to find amusement in life's challenges and are definitely not one to laugh at their mistakes.

2. They are judgmental. Those who are unhappy judge other people and place even harsher judgment on themselves. If they make a mistake they beat themselves up inside instead of accepting the fact that everyone has flaws and are human.

3. They worry constantly. People who are unhappy always assume something bad is going to happen to them so they live a life of constant worry and fear. Instead of thinking what might go right, they continuously think about what could go wrong.

4. They avoid whatever frightens them. Anything that is challenging or out of their comfort zone will be avoided at all costs. Unhappy people aren't up to the challenge to take any risks. This means no counseling, no self-help books, and no self-improvement.

5. They hold onto grudges. If someone, somewhere violated them, you can bet an unhappy person will maintain that hatred for life. Forgiveness and forget are not words commonly used in their vocabulary.

6. They fill their conversations with gossip and complaints. The unhappy live in the past. Life's hardships are their conversation of choice. They gossip about other people to make themselves feel better.

7. They believe most people can't be trusted. Unhappy people think everyone is out to get them, even their loved ones. They assume strangers can't be trusted as well. This behavior closes the door on all potential new connections and limits the chances of them making any new friends.

8. They try to control every outcome of their life. Sure, it's okay to try and achieve your goals but in the end there's very little control over what life hands us on a daily basis. Unhappy people try to control every outcome and throw a dramatic tantrum when their plans get changed.

9. They are jealous and compare themselves to others. Those who are unhappy believe there is not enough goodness go around in the world. This leads to resentment of others. Instead of praising other people for their unique talents, they look at them with envy.

10. They are victims. You know when a person is unhappy because they will constantly be complaining that life is hard and the universe hates them. The unhappy tend to see themselves as victims in life. They are always complaining about tough situations rather than finding a solution.

If you think you may be a chronically unhappy person, the good news is you can change. With a positive attitude and guidance from a coach you can begin to live a happier life.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Chronically-Unhappy-People-Are-As-Toxic-As-The-Plague:-Are-You-One?&id=9277371