How To Love Yourself Through The Difficult Times When There's Little Growth

Dare To Go Deep Into Your Being

The way we treat ourselves in difficult moments says a lot about who we are. It's easy to be on top of the world when things are going right and we want to hold on to this feeling hoping it will last forever. Yet when it doesn't, it feels like we're bound to train tracks with an oncoming train headed our way and unable to move.

How we act towards ourselves in our darkest moment's lays the foundation for who we become later on. Self-love is a difficult concept for many to grasp. I've had countless coaching sessions with people who find it hard to love and appreciate themselves. This primarily stems from our formative years and the messages we received from our parents or caregivers. They become entrenched into our psyche and nervous system and, if reinforced, are difficult to let go of. However, difficult does not mean impossible.

Is this something you've experienced? For example, how do you treat yourself when things don't go your way? When your significant other breaks up with you or your health or finances suffer. What is your inner dialogue during these times? I've experienced pain and suffering throughout my life in the form of losing my father to illness, a relationship break up, a health crisis and financial woes. There were times I found it difficult to appreciate myself because of the despairing inner dialogue that convinced me it was my fault for being in this situation. I felt stuck, helpless and hopeless to navigate my way out.

It is why I wrote my first book because it was a theme I was intimate with and new well. However, I recognised that being stuck in my circumstances was not who I am. It was not the narrative I wanted to live, nor succumb to. I knew somewhere deep within me there was a presence yearning to express itself but I didn't know how to get in touch with it. I wanted to love and nurture myself with compassion instead of negative self-talk. Gradually, I noticed my conditions began to shift and my inner dialogue changed when I started meditating. I was an anxious person then, but this shifted to a calm and peaceful person over the coming years. I dared to go deep into my being and connect with the love within me.

Breaking Down The Old And Tired Ways Of Living

The love within us awaits you to come home to it. It is your palace of refuge, a place that knows no bounds, other than to receive you in its arms and awaken you to your authentic self. The self-love I speak of begins by recognising that difficult moments do not last. They come and go from our lives to awaken us to the greater intelligence within us vested in love, light and true refuge. To love yourself through difficult times when there's little growth requires you trust that what is taking place is doing so to help you let go of the ruins of the past. It is breaking down the old and tired ways of living so a new foundation of strength and love can emerge from your authentic self.

The spiritual teacher and author Matt Kahn offers us the wisdom in his book Everything Is Here to Help You: A Loving Guide to Your Soul's Evolution that love is more than an emotion but a wellspring of compassion that resides within us and our task is to bring it forth: "From a spiritual perspective, love isn't an emotion we feel all the time. Love is an unwavering depth of compassion and empathy that reaches inward to embrace our experiences-no matter how mixed up, shut down, unfulfilled, or overwhelmed we tend to be. When rooted in the vibration of love, we don't have to be completely healed to bring forth the kindness and care that already dwells within us."

There is a source of love within you that beckons you to connect with it. Don't take my word for it because it appears on your screen. Unite with this loving presence by standing in front of a mirror and reciting the words: "I love you" the moment you finish reading this article. Recite those three-letter words when you feel joy and happiness or when you are angry or depressed. Recite them as often as you can because you're outside conditions do not have to dictate how you love yourself. The love I speak of is always there waiting for you to come home to it. The more you connect with this infinite presence, the greater it will be known throughout your life. The way we treat ourselves through difficult times says a lot about who we are because who we are is an energy of love. If we make time to connect with this presence more often, we will realise that our difficulties serve a purpose; to return us to the wholeness of our true self.

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Bullying Made Me Believe I Was Ugly (By May Esohe Olusola)

BULLYING PLANTED SEEDS OF SHYNESS

I found this throwback picture of me taken in 1987. I was 20 years old, painfully shy, void of confidence; but most importantly, a product of mental bullying that took root in my life and molded me into believing what I definitely wasn't. As ridiculous as this sounds, I used to believe I was very ugly and here is why.

I was born with a pronounced red birthmark on the left side of my face. Back then, it was the first thing you saw if you were meeting me for the first time. I was very conscious of it and used to feel like I was from another planet, because no one seemed to have a face like mine. The kids in school didn't help matters with their constant showers of horrible names to hurt my self-esteem, like: "Red-faced Monster," "Ugly Girl," "Map of the World," and "Your-Mother-Must-Have-Slapped-You-With-a-Red-Spoon.".

These taunts laid the foundation for many pity parties. "Why me?" was the question I used to put before God, and whenever my mother came home from work and saw I'd been crying, she would try her best to convince me I was beautiful. Her words had a way of gently draining away the malicious words I had suffered. Thank God for a mother who kept speaking life into me with statements like: "You are beautiful," "You are going to be great," and "You are somebody." This became a cycle, till I slowly started believing there might be some truth in my doting mother's words. I gained a tiny bit of confidence and was at the point of figuring out a permanent way to dismiss the bullying.

AN ADULT UNKNOWINGLY JOINED THE BULLYING CYCLE

I was almost there when one day my teacher wanted to get my attention. However, instead of calling me by name, she called out: "Come here, Red Face." You can't imagine the shock that bolted from head to toe. She had betrayed my innocent mind to such an extent that I am fighting back tears as I write this. For an adult to confirm what the kids were daily saying proved to me that I was indeed a red-faced monster. Her words had added salt to a wound that caused unimaginable heartache for years.

Thank God for special friends back then. They celebrated and encouraged me in very memorable ways. By the time I graduated from the university, it was not as bad, but still bad. I just did not find myself worthy. This belief followed me into adulthood, creating some painful chapters that robbed me of many opportunities. In no time, my self-esteem graduated from low to invisible.

My turning point came the moment the word of God took root in me and I resolved to reject the fear of rejection and believe in myself no matter what. The light bulb of revelation had finally come on. I made a conscientious effort to start the change from within me. In no time, the layers and excess baggage that weighed me down for many years started falling off one day at a time.

A BETTER PERSON EMERGED FROM THE DUNGEON OF BULLYING

Today, I can look in the mirror and say to myself,"Thank You Lord; I am beautiful!" I truly appreciate the way God made me. I love myself, I do what makes me happy and permit what enters my space. (If you don't guard your space, shenanigans will guard it for you.) If God wasn't on my side, who knows the other options I would have sought to medicate the pain bullying birthed in me? No matter what you are going through, the first step to recovery is believing in yourself. Forget what the world says about you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

It is imperative we form and maintain the habit of using words wisely. What we say to others matters a great deal. We can make or break ourselves and others with our choice of words. Let us be a part of putting an end to all forms of bullying today.

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How to Appreciate the Little Things in Life

Many little things happen around in everyday life. Do you let them pass by or do you take time to appreciate? There is every reason you should value them and not ignore them. Why? Read on.

Here goes a few pointers that remind you of what little things in life are like:

1. Watch the sunset or sunrise and capture them in your smart phone.
2. Remember something your little daughter or granddaughter said that made you laugh.
3. Watch in awe the photo of puppies somebody posted on social media and write a comment or two about how you loved to see them.
4. Buy your friend and yourself cups of Starbucks coffee and drink and enjoy the view around from the balcony.
5. Share pictures of places you visited before you met your hubby with him and laugh, smile and reminisce.
6. Take your pair of roller skates and go ahead skate near about your home with your sibling laughing, enjoying and talking.
7. Accept warmly the present your best friend gives you on your birthday and treasure it because you may not be in the same place as her's for a long time.
8. Appreciate that your son enjoys collecting stamps as a hobby and encourage him all the way.
9. Appreciate the mansion your hubby has bought for you and family and give a hand delightfully to furnish and decorate it altogether.
10. Encourage your children and their families to go on a world cruise with you and your hubby and have the time of your life.
11. Record all the fun events at home and work in your journal and recall them five years from now. You really will feel good and blissful.
12. Give your niece a beautiful flower from your garden and help her tie it to her hair and capture a photo of you with her in front of the garden.
13. Give time to your little children one lazy afternoon and help them make various handicrafts out of colored paper and glue. Take snapshots of them and post them on social media, saying how great your weekend was.
14. Buy a family size pizza and pass it around. Put on music. Have fun.
15. If you have subscribed to any newsletter(s), appreciate when they send you free gifts or freebies that excite you and let them know so by writing a few lines as a "Thank You" note.

Summing up, the above are all examples of little things you can appreciate in daily life and remain happy. You can take snapshots or journal them as I have already mentioned in order to seize the moments. Now is the time to hold them dear because if you don't, you will regret them considerably much later and you will even think then they were big things - all out of pace, out of touch and difficult to remember. So take your time and get along with all the little things in life and value them close to your heart and be contented. Gotcha?

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Abraham Hicks ~ How To Connect To The Energy That Makes Things Come FAST? [MUST WATCH]

Importance of Mentors (By Madeline Frank)

Throughout your life you will have remarkable mentors and teachers. How do you appreciate and thank them?

Your mentors and teachers show you how to do the work and inspire and motivate you to a higher level of achievement. They model how you should do the work and how to lead!

While I was a student at the Juilliard School, I played Principal viola at the 92nd Y Orchestra which gave me a stipend to help me pay my rent. One of the section members was an amazing and inspiring amateur violist named Herman Silver, age 75. He was passionate about playing chamber music on the weekends at his home with the best musicians in New York City. Herman would loan me the music to study for two weeks and would tell me the date of our concert. I would go to the Lincoln Center Public Library, borrow the recordings to study, and practice the music.

Herman enjoyed sharing his passion for chamber music with the next generation and had marvelous professionals join us. Herman was a marvelous and inspiring mentor. He introduced me to Toscha Samaroff, a concert violinist, who did studio work and recordings in New York City. He was a remarkable violinist, who had studied with Leopold Auer. When I met him he was 75 years old. Toscha played the very challenging first violin parts to Felix Mendelssohn Octet & Louis Spohr's Octet. Toscha was a remarkably strong leader who played with a beautiful tone and gorgeous phrasing. Herman Silver said, "Toscha Samaroff sounds just like Jascha Heifetz!"; a high compliment indeed. In these chamber works I played the first viola parts and Herman played second. It was one of the best experiences in my life playing with Toscha Samaroff. He was a magnificent musician. He led and encouraged others to play at their highest level of playing.

When Toscha came to visit his daughter, Lee, in Virginia Beach several years later, we arranged to play Handel Halvorsen's Passacaglia for violin and viola and other works. It was a beautiful chamber music experience I will long remember!

Another marvelous violinist who played with Herman Silver's Saturday night concert series was Stanley Hoffman. He studied violin with Arthur Grumiaux and studied at the Juilliard School with Mischa Mischakoff, Oscar Shumsky, and Raphael Bronstein. When I met Stanley, he was 47 years old. Herman Silver said, "Stanley plays Paganini 's Caprices brilliantly."

He was a member of the New York Philharmonic, and later the Jerusalem Radio Orchestra.

We played Tchaikovsky's Souvenir de Florence String Sextet in D minor with Stanley playing the difficult and beautiful first violin part. Stanley was a marvelous leader with his lovely phrasing and beautiful sound. When you played with Stanley you played at your highest level of playing too!

Over the 7 or 8 years we played together, we also played Brahms String Quintets, Mozart String Quintets, Beethoven String Quintets, and Dvorak String Quintets. It was an amazing experience.

Many years later I taught and played these same works with my students in concert. It's all about passing the mentorship gifts on to the next generation!

What are the three things you can do to mentor and teach others, to pass on the gifts your mentors gave to you?

1) Pass on their mentorship gifts to others! Dr. John Maxwell, number 1 leadership guru, and one of my mentors says, "Make people development your top priority and see everyone you mentor as a 10."

2) Model the way for others to follow by listening, observing, connecting, adding value to them, respecting them, empowering others, and instructing them.

Lift others up. Help the person you are mentoring by encouraging, motivating, and inspiring them to a higher level of excellence. Take them under your wing just like Herman Silver, Toscha Samaroff, and Stanley Hoffman did for me.

3) Mentors have a positive attitude and lead the way for the mentee to follow them!

Remarkable mentors and teachers make the difference! They help you to become the success you are today! Pass on their gifts to you, by mentoring the next generation to leave a lasting legacy from them.

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A Journey of a Thousand Miles Starts With a Single Step

The adventure of a thousand miles starts with one step. We need to do the troublesome things while they are simple and do the extraordinary things while they are little. But we often make thing complicated. We will never make an adventure of a thousand miles by fussing about to what extent it will take or how hard it will be. We make the adventure by making every day stride by step and afterward rehashing it and again until we achieve our goal.

Appreciate the journey towards a thousand miles and attempt to improve each day. Never lose the enthusiasm and the passion for what you do. Ignite the flame within yourself to make things happen. Believe that you can reach whatever you dare to dream. Never allow negativity to dominate you.

You need to visualize your dreams to turn them into a reality. One reason why dreams never go anyplace is on the grounds that the visionary remains quiet about everything. It is a calm dream that just lives within his brain. The person who needs to accomplish their dreams must share it to numerous individuals. As we consistently state it, we start to trust it to an ever-increasing extent.When we tell our aspirations in life to other people, it becomes conceivable. Moreover, it make us accountable of what we told others. It actually goads us on to really do it so we don't look silly.

We need to make a plan to reach our dreams. In fact, what we get is what we plan for. Our fantasy won't simply happen. We need to outline every step we make for accomplishing that fantasy. Thoroughly consider the majority of the subtleties. Separate the whole plan into little, useful tasks. At that point, we need to set a time frame for achieving each undertaking.

Most of the successful individuals we see are generally the hardest workers. While others are perched on their couches watching achievers dealing with their objective to accomplish their dreams. When we take a shot at it every day, in the end we will accomplish our goal.

Humility is the genuine key to progress. Sometimes successful individuals are eaten by too much success. They frequently overwhelmed by the outcome of their hardwork. Humility ends this pomposity and self-reveling trap. Humble individuals share the credit and riches, while staying engaged and hungry to proceed with the adventure of progress.

When you have achieved your objective and experienced your dreams, appreciate it. Give yourself an enormous reward. Help other people appreciate it. Be benevolent and liberal. Utilize your dreams to help others. Again, you can aspire for greater dreams and turn them into reality.

Trust me, my journey has never been easy; but I made it. There have been many good and bad times; but the decisions I made at every one of those occasions have helped shape what I have accomplished today.

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Forget About Miracles

Have you ever found yourself praying for a miracle? It's usually when your back is against the wall. A loved one is sick. You're in extreme physical pain or have been diagnosed with a medical condition that sounds horrible. A mate has left you or done something that you react to with pain. Maybe you or your mate have lost a job or lost your future to the stock market.

Whatever the case may be, you can stop praying for a miracle. It's not something that's bestowed on you.

Beautiful healings and turnarounds can and will happen when you flip the switch on your focus. Shifting your perception to what's possible can be a very quick process or it can be gradual.

The time it takes will not matter so much to you, once you let go of needing your outcome to happen quickly. When you feel even the slightest bit of emotional or physical relief, the world will begin to feel like a magical place again.

When you appreciate the fact that there has been a small shift in the way you feel, the tangible results will follow. The key is not to get frustrated if you don't see immediate results. This will slow the entire process down.

Now... back to the beginning. How do you shift your focus when you're asking for that miracle? Any thing or thought you can grab onto that will create even a smidge of relief can begin the process. A conversation with someone who is very comforting and uplifting is of great value. Bodywork or a walk in nature is also a good start.

Here are some thoughts that I find valuable:

• This too shall pass.
• The Universe/God is with me.
• I am asking for help and the Universe always responds. It's my job to let it in.
• Inner being, what can I do to feel a tiny bit of relief?
• I'm going to let myself be scared or hurt for a little bit and then I'll work my way to better feeling thoughts.
• What are five things that are working well in my life right now?
• I can have things go my way.
• The Law of Attraction is like having a magic wand. I just have to relax.
• I'm breathing my way into calm.
• The only reason I feel discord is because I've separated myself from my Inner Being.

Hope is a great feeling to reach for at first. Then you'll have to pump up your faith that things will go your way by remembering past experiences where you've succeeded. You can also think about other people who have turned dire situations around. They had to go through the same steps as you to flip their switch to miracles.

When things begin to move in a favorable direction it will feel like magic, but it's just you relaxing into the truth that you are worthy of all good things.

What miracle have you prayed for recently?

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Message From the Universe: More to Look Forward To

"As sure as the sun rises, I know exactly what you're going to say after you have your own independence, wealth, health and happiness...

"Now, remind me, why didn't I ask for two, or more?"

And then, we'll give each other a slow motion knuckle-to-knuckle punch.

Who-ah!

The Universe"

Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes, in life, we are so eager to succeed, to reach wealth, health and ultimate happiness at the expense of living our life today. We focus too much into the future and not living our life in the present. Not enough time in the day make us think we are missing out on things, and forget to appreciate what we already have. If you feel you don't have enough, just look around you and that should be a good wake-up call. We are a society focus on instant gratification, and lack a tremendous amount of patience. You want your business to hit the 1 million mark (gross revenue) after its first year of operation or you lose hope and abandon your dreams. You want the new gadgets, the new phone even though yours works perfectly fine. We search for more things to make us happy which doesn't really do in the long run.

You need to decide what makes you happy. Life is to short to not live it fully. When you work on a business, enjoy the journey and its destination will be very fulfilling. Do not worry about the how's or when's, just focus on what you can do today to progress forward. Never stagnate with your effort. Be bold, be courageous and do not let fear control your actions. Like the sun will rise every morning, your effort should be the same. Every morning, work on making changes to your approach to better yourself and your business. Every effort you put today, you will see changes in the future. Plant your seeds now and watch it grow. Do not expect things happening overnight, because it is just an illusion with lots of disappointment. The road to success is never a straight line going up, life is a roller-coaster and it will make you nauseous at times. Be ready for a ride and overnight success usually takes around 10 years. So buckle up my friends, it will be long ride.

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Message From the Universe: Learn to Be Grateful and Appreciate Everything You Already Have

     

"From an endless sea of wistful souls who've waited out eternity, it's now your turn, in time and space. And there are simply no words that can express just how uniquely special this privilege is.

Nor how fleeting.

Zip-pity zip,

The Universe"

Consciousness remains despite leaving your physical body. Sometimes it can be hard to believe that our consciousness remains until we are sent out to another mission, or probably just finishing the one that the previous us wasn't able to accomplish. If we come back to a new body with a clean slate, our consciousness is rebooted and a new operating system is installed. We start a new life without any recollection of the past. So what happens when people start remembering, not just a distant memory that happened in your existing life, but remembering what our previous soul have encountered in its lifetime. Some people have the "Deja vu" flashback to places they have NEVER been in their entire life, but yet, remember events and locations very precisely, as if they were there. Some might think it as being spooky because these events occurred in a very far past, when this person wasn't even born yet. The individual experiencing these deja vu moments are certain about seeing or experiencing an event, either it being positive or negative. These moments comes with detailed explanation of events, time, location and even details of feelings regarding these events. They are persistent about being there when it happened, when in reality, couldn't make sense if you do the math about time and space.

These are moments where you shouldn't look for an explanation or try to find reasons why this person discussing the event is losing his or her mind. Events of that sort happens every day to people, but they choose to keep low key for the exact reason mentioned above, where people would think they are losing their mind. They believe it is real but avoid attention so they don't pay a visit to their local asylum. Near Death experiences, Out of body, and Deja-vu moments are when the subconscious mind is wired a certain way where it can allow things to happen to certain people and not others. Are these people gifted a certain way when experiencing these moments? In the case of near death experiences, does heaven think the person deserve another chance to complete their mission and feel that it is important for them to stay on earth and get it done properly? No matter what the reasons, we need to learn not to question the reason as to why things are done a certain way, why others live a very long life and others die so young. How can a toddler facing illnesses or accidentally succumbing to death to early in life can be accepted by their family or surroundings? How can that be right? What have this little toddler do to deserve such a short life on earth? We understand that death is imminent, and there is no ways around it. We need to learn to accept it and just live our lives like it's the last day we have on earth, because it is how uncertain life is all about. No one knows their expiration date, or a date where we will be the power from above and plea for forgiveness for everything we have done during our stay on earth. The final judgement will be based on how you behaved on this earth, and how much good you have done to help others be the best they can be. When you do your morning routine, where you wake up and be grateful for everything you already have, make sure to add a small prayer asking the Universe and the power from above to allow you to be happy, not rich but happy. Regardless of being rich or poor, if you are happy, either coming your way will impact your existing feeling. No matter what, you will still be happy and content with your existence. Focus on requesting happiness over wealth. If you were meant to be wealthy, it will happen because of your attitude of being happy regardless of your financial status. When you stop caring about your pursuit of wealth, you will start caring about your current existence and everything else that comes with it.

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Do You Appreciate The Little Things Everyday?

For the past year, I kept a gratitude journal and whenever life takes a hit on a bump in the roads I've paved, I look back and re-read some of the entries I have made inside and it feels like someone else secretly wrote my experience down in my place.

That's because it is so easy to forget small moments of gratitude more than anything else.

Funny thing is, why are we are able to bear grudges and hold certain amounts of resentment for someone or circumstances over really long periods of time and allow it recur in our minds over and over so easily?

Your brain overrides every single good thing in your life in that instant, like a malfunctioning CPU system that took a hit on a virus and starts a raging war within. It becomes a battle you feel the need to fight and resist every day.

And if you actually keep a diary and have your worst nightmares documented in gruesome details, it'll probably continue to stay in your life and stick around in your experience with you starring as the main lead in the horror movie of your life.

(Well, at least up to the point & moment you burn those journals.)

Gratitude, on the other hand is such a gradual and subtle process in the beginning that it is so easy to overlook and miss, it's almost as if you turn away for a split second and that opportunity slips right through your fingers.

The thing about gratitude is, you need to first of all learn appreciation.

Without the "ability" to appreciate, you wouldn't even begin to know where to start to find the feeling of gratefulness. You start with the things you already have and then begin to appreciate the unfolding of the things you don't have but know is coming and on its way.

Being able to direct your thoughts is the wonderful start of having control of your life, to have the freedom to think your thoughts with deliberate intent and choose what you would like to be feeling in that moment and not have to constantly look to someone else's behavior and action to feel good.

Taking the time to practice feeling appreciation is merely a tool to help sculpt yourself a better stronger mind. There may not be huge explosive great things happening every single day to be jumping and punching the air for joy, but there are always things around you to appreciate in this instant right here and now.

That is the beauty of this practice.

Sometimes it takes something big to happen before it grabs your focus and attention making you learn to appreciate things the hard way, but it really doesn't have to be this way.

You can start anytime and any day.

A healthy person wouldn't start appreciating their ability to breathe with ease until they lose it one day or they wouldn't appreciate the ability to feel hungry to taste & savor food until their appetite was taken away from a dis-ease or illness.

We take for granted the smallest things around us every day.

If we take the time and a little effort to find 1 more thing to add to our list and let it grow, soon enough, it becomes second nature to you.

Soon enough, you will truly take possession and ownership of a new found appreciation for yourself, for the people around you, for all the things that were invented to make you go through your daily activities with ease and comfort.

You will appreciate your ability to listen to soothing music and wonderful conversations, your ability to feel the warm running water soaking through your skin and hug your favorite Egyptian cotton pillow, the ability to see every sunrise in the morning & catch the sun setting in the evenings when you are out on your walks, the ability to smell food coming out from the kitchen and your fridge to be surprised and delighted, the ability to taste what's sitting on your plate to nourish your body and mind that day.

Here are some simple (but not easy at first) methods/ways to start practicing for your well-being:

1) Keep a Gratitude Journal

Start with just 3 things a day and gradually increase it to 5, then 10 and so on so forth.

But 3 is a good start.

2) Express your gratitude

Take the time to really recount on the specific positive feeling of the things you felt grateful for etc, were you excited? Hopeful? Delighted? Inspired?

Learn to increase your A-Z vocabulary of positive feelings and words and you'll soon find that your conversations, sentences you construct and attitude makes a shift etc, A for Appreciation.. B for Beautiful.. C for Carefree.. D for Delight...

3) Self-direct your thoughts & be the architect of your own mind

When something "bad" happens, always be quick to nit-pick for positive aspects. Say, someone was unkind to you that day, you would soothe yourself to find reasons to love them anyway. etc, maybe the person had a bad day, be thankful you are having a much better one and slowly you redirect your focus back to yourself and not let other people's issues or problems be the reason for your bad day.

4) Practice it everyday

Find every possible chance to practice the feeling of it. Whether it's the water you drink that quenched your thirst, the food you bless before your meals, the efficient people you work around with, the kind people you meet on the streets, use it as a tool and shine a spotlight on it.

Put a magnifying glass over every small detail and soon enough, you acclimate to the high feeling energy place and the state of mind of pure appreciation.

When your body & mind dominates the constant feeling of gratitude, nothing else that contradicts it will ever come near your experience.

Basically, we are like walking giant magnets of energy.

What we put out there for the world to receive, we get hit back (hard) with the same one. What goes around comes around, remember? What it is really referring to is not karma. Even though it might feel like it is there and then, if it was a negative bounce.

It has always been about your personal energy you carry with you 24/7. That "vibe" people give off? That's energy. You can't see it, but you can absolutely feel it.

So would you be more careful with what you hold in your thoughts if you knew this law? As sure as the law of gravity, this attraction exists and it is happening all the time even if you can't see it with your naked eye. So make small effort to shift that energy if you want only to engage with the best. And let the respective islands group itself accordingly to energy.

Be a force to be reckoned with & spread only the things you would want to have on your plate and in your life.

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Thank You (By Janet Zaretsky)

Very simple words. Two words. Sometimes they are said as a matter of routine, like when someone says "Bless you" when you sneeze or a waiter brings you a glass of water. It has been ingrained since childhood to thank, appreciate, others. And mostly, there is not a lot of emotion or care when saying something that has been ingrained, taught and done as a matter of routine.

Contrast that to the times when those two words were meant to convey your sincerest appreciation and acknowledgement for something someone did or said that truly contributed to you. At times, those two words cannot possibly capture all the expression of your appreciation.

When you are on the receiving end of a "thank you", do you pay attention? Do you allow the acknowledgement and appreciation to get to you? Do you allow yourself to experience the gratitude of another person and allow yourself to experience how great you are, for contributing to that person?

My experience is that mostly we, you and I, do not allow ourselves to appreciate who we are. We don't get how great we are. We don't allow the sincere acknowledgement of another to sink in, to wash over us and allow ourselves to truly get it. If we did, we would be moved to tears. We would stop saying things like, "it is no big deal" or "no problem". Or even an automatic but not truly felt, "you are welcome". We would allow ourselves to soak it in and say whatever there was to actually say when we allowed ourselves to get how extraordinary we really are.

I recently attended an event that was a thank you, an acknowledgement, of myself and several other people who had contributed to a friend in a very challenging time. We had fun. She had handwritten notes of appreciation and acknowledgement and we toasted her. I was moved to my core. I was so moved by the opportunity of contributing to her and the privilege it was that she allowed it. I was moved by who I am that I would do that. I was moved by the other people that were there in who they are, in contributing to her. It was such a demonstration of those two words; thank you.

I work with people all the time who thank me. I contribute for a living. In my entire career, first as a registered nurse for 21 years and then for the last 20 years as a business success coach, my thinking, my writing, my designing of programs and my coaching is all about contributing to someone else's success. People succeed wildly around me. They appreciate me. Rarely do I let it in, really. I decided, after this event, I am going to let myself really let in their thank yous. And I will do whatever I need to so that other people truly get my appreciation for them.

To you, who took the time to read this, thank you. It is with such joy that I get to write and contribute to you, your success and your quality of life.

Who can you thank today? Who can you allow to truly thank you?

http://ezinearticles.com/?Thank-You&id=9408194

How to Develop a Heart As Big As a House

The Hawaiian word "Ho"omaika'I", means to have a spirit of gratitude and thankfulness. "He'opu halau" means to have a heart as big as a house. This is said of a person who is kind, gracious and hospitable. This quality of loving kindness in encouraged in the Hawaiian culture as a way of expressing aloha or love. During this month of November when we celebrate Thanksgiving, let us remember that thankfulness, kindness and generosity are qualities that are learned, and take patience and practice to develop.

We learn to be grateful as kids when the adults around us talk about thankfulness and why it is important. They may also teach us to write "mahalo" or thank you cards and to express thanks with smiles, hugs and offerings of food. But, we may not have grown up in families that taught us to value developing an attitude of gratitude. The good news is that it is never too late to acquire this skill. We can even learn how to appreciate and express thankfulness when situations seem especially challenging. 

These times of pain that life bring, are often the greatest opportunities for spiritual growth in our lives and in the lives of those we love. Yet, rarely do you hear a person say "Thank you for this loss" or "Thanks for this pain in my life". It is easy to give thanks for the simple things like the sky, ocean, family, friends, having a place to live, and health, but giving thanks for the unexpected hardships that life brings takes a mature soul's perspective.

This response can be learned as an individual nurtures the awakening of their higher self in their life. The shift from being a victim to life circumstances to being a conscious participant in life's drama, is a huge quantum leap in consciousness. To become gratitude for painful soul growth experiences is to recognize that true aliveness comes from embracing all of life, not just the good and easy times. Some of my most profound thankfulness has come, after being shaken awake by the death of a friend. Suddenly just the gift of life is a miracle to be cherished and honored. Anything that I take for granted, becomes valuable when it is lost. To learn to be a true spiritual master upon this plane of suffering and strife is to cultivate an attitude of gratitude regardless of the situation. There is always somebody worse off than you and this perspective can indeed bring humility and grace. Each hardship is an opportunity to grow in faith and love in a divine plan.

With a crisis, there often comes the acceptance that we need to allow or invite help or support from another. Crisis is also an opportunity to become more sensitive to the feelings of others and develop empathy and compassion. We become closer to others through adversities if we are willing to gratefully reach out rather than withdraw when times get tough 

. 

I can now say that I am grateful for both the good times and the bad times in life. I have learned that the easy flowing periods of life, comfort me when the challenges come. Rather than letting the hurdles stop me from being grateful and trusting in life, I can now say "Thank you". Thank you infinite universe for this opportunity to stretch beyond my known way of being, into a larger perspective. This is the nature of life: to humble and teach us to trust that no matter how things appear there is a lot to be grateful for. 

May your heart be as big as a house, and may you have a very Happy Thanksgiving.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Develop-a-Heart-As-Big-As-a-House&id=10033157

Be Better Than Who You Were Yesterday

Early on in life, I discovered that you only need to try to be better than who you were yesterday and not compare yourself to anyone. But, at times, I still do, like any human being. This world is in constant flux and change. And yet, most people are comparing rather than focusing on themselves.

A ton of questions might run through your mind right now. Questions like "Why do I need to compare myself to others? How is he more successful than I am? Why am I not as lucky?"

If you are wondering; it can be out of jealousy, greed, desire, or more. It might be easy to say, but you should not envy anyone. The only person you should try to be envious of and be better than, is the person you were yesterday. If you can do this, then you become better with each day that passes.

And yes, it would be a lie if I told you that the road to being greater is easy as you try to live better each day. The truth is that it won't be easy at all. Each day is filled with its barriers and challenges, but it is also full of many different opportunities.

Try to Be Better 

As you try to be better than whom you were yesterday, you will begin to realize, appreciate and enjoy the gifts and benefits life has in store for you. And you may even start to discover various possibilities in each given challenge. So, be better than who you were yesterday, even if it happens only via one percent each day, week or month.

What I mean is that even if you make mistakes, it is your ability not to allow your errors to influence or control you. It is what makes you who you are. And if there is one thing I learned time and time again is to be better than who I was yesterday.

Therefore, if you do not do something right or you know you made a blunder for one reason or the other, do not give those mistakes power. I know that we are all going through this. So, do not let the errors you make rule your life, learn from them, move on and do not judge you or what you can do.

Be More than Yesterday 

Believe it or not, the power you acquired through all of your experiences can help you avoid many costly mistakes. You just have to learn, work, live and strive to be better than the person you were yesterday. I am not telling you to try to reach perfection but only that you do not have to live your life in the same way if you are unsatisfied with it.

After all, you have the power to make any change your heart desires. And if you make a mistake, do not blame yourself, just pick yourself up, dust away from the negative thoughts that bring you down and work at becoming a better person than who you were the day before.

If you do not believe you are capable of it, just imagine for an instant, that one day you are doing better. Would not that make you feel like some renewed confidence is soaring through you? And is not that a better use of your time than some negative feelings? By thinking that way, you will move forward and grow to be a remarkable person.

How to Be Better than Before 

Now, you are your competition; so compete only with yourself. Successful people always follow and practice this. Those individuals become successful by not slacking off and waiting for luck to come along. They instead create it! And they work hard and persist in their vision each day.

Moreover, people who are successful do not let barriers and challenges stop them from achieving their objectives. Instead, they use these encounters to make them stronger by learning from them. They look for problems to solve while others purely try to avoid problems.

Successful people also hone their skills and talent to be better than they were yesterday. They do not stop to compare themselves with others. Why? The reason is that they consider it a waste of their valuable time gone in smoke which they can instead use working on their projects.

Strive to Get Better 

Learn to strive to get better for you, and not by comparing what others do. They can be an inspiration but do not let bitterness take over by looking at what you do not have yet. Instead, appreciate the things you have right now, no matter how little, and focus on how you can make them better one day at a time.

Therefore, do not wonder if you are at the top yet, push to be better than yesterday. And I tell you, it won't be long before you become the inspiration for others to improve and work harder. Work hard. Get your mind involved in every other aspect of your life.

And yes, sometimes, errors are bound to happen but never let them define who you are. Do not be stuck in the past. Some mistakes are costly due to lack of knowledge, selfishness, pride, stupidity or foolishness. Just try to correct them if you can. And if you cannot do anything about it, learn, let go and look forward to the next opportunity by not making the same blunder again.

A Brief Recap to Be Better 

So here is a brief recap of the tips to be better than who you were yesterday.

• Work on yourself each day to improve.
• Never compare yourself to others.
• Stop being envious of other people.
• Be more present in your own life.
• Let go of the past.
• Learn from your mistakes and move on.
• Look forward to other opportunities.
• Let successful people be an inspiration to you.
• Avoid making the same mistakes again.
• Believe in your capacity to be better.
• Enjoy your victories, no matter how small.
• Rule number one for success: Belief in yourself.

You hone yourself that much. Now, go ahead and challenge yourself, and practice by being the best and success will follow. So always strive to be better than you were yesterday!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Be-Better-Than-Who-You-Were-Yesterday&id=9862366

Free Yourself From Toxic People - 'Create Your Own Reality'

Fed up of living for others? Fed up of pleasing others? Life is too short to make it miserable by living in others footsteps. Time to free yourself from those dominating and toxic people, which do nothing less than dragging you to hell. You don't owe your life to them or they don't own your life. It is time to take a step away from them. They harm your mental health and cognitive thinking leaving you worthless and with low self-esteem.

Toxic people cast a shadow on you covering you from your surroundings leaving you suffocating. These people first isolate you from your social life. They treat you like you are their very own personal property. They suck your positivity as predators. They prove you wrong in every aspect. They judge you as well as other people in their surroundings; Don't worry! it is their own way of hiding their complexes. They lack empathy for others and you will rarely find good words in their vocabulary. They are highly selfish; they will only focus on their benefit and will easily crush you down for their benefit without any remorse. They do not admit their mistakes when they are wrong, they lie twisting the whole scenario holding you responsible for every mistake they made. They do not appreciate your work, every time you do something for yourself they envy, and try their level best to pick and point the flaws and let you down.

They damage you, they damage your confidence, control you as if they have every right to you. They have a great audacity to sabotage people around them. They are always the victim they always hold you responsible for the situations they faced. You keep expecting them to change and they keep on letting you down. Lastly, when you speak for yourself and tell them they are disturbing you, and are interfering in your life. They play victims again here as if they haven't done anything wrong and put you responsible for the whole matter. When they are done destroying you, making you a dead wood, they leave you for no good reason. So, before they leave you, just decide for yourself and leave them before they do, they are not the only pebble on the beach.

Confused? Where to start from and how to start? Are you Afraid? Afraid of making decisions others will laugh at you for your opinions and suggestions saying they are not worth it, huh there only way to drag you back to the misery. Some people are never going to speak in favor of you, so forget it. Step out and cut all ties with the toxic group of fellows, so-called close friend, or dominating relation. Do what satisfies the inner you. If you are satisfied with your work, then all is good. You were not born to please everybody. Be independent forget depending on others stop living in others dreams stop being someone's pawn. This is your life, get on with it. Own it, speak up for yourself. You have every right to your life. Make decisions for yourself. If someone is stopping you from achieving your dreams, that's nobody else but you. You have the control of every situation and you can direct your destiny the way you want no one else would do that for you. The more you come under the shadow of destructive critics the more you are heading back.

In case there is a situation where you have to deal with these kinds of toxic people and have to work in an environment where there is no way out, then there might be some ways you can apply in order to minimize their effect on you.

- Firstly, minimize your time of interaction with them.

- Know your boundaries which you would not cross at any matter especially not for these destructive people.

- Learn to say 'NO', if you are uncomfortable doing something then just simply say 'No'. you don't have to go out of your comfort zone just to please such people.

- Make sure you do not go out of your standards because of these people; be kind, sincere, and caring the way you are.

- Avoid listening to them when they are victimizing themselves, as negativity is contagious it would surround you and you won't even realize it.

- They are in constant need of attention so they'll do anything to create a drama so that they can be the center of everyone's attention. What you can do is run a mile from them at that time.

- Do not take their critics seriously as they will always give you destructive ones, and deflate you.

- Never trust them on anything as they are barefaced liars.

The only revenge you can take from them is to move forward that will burn them into ashes. You don't need any one's validation to move ahead. Fling yourself to work, because that is only going to take you far ahead of where you want to see yourself. Be an eager beaver. It is time to create your own reality and go the extra mile. Challenge yourself with new tasks on daily basis. Consistency is the key to success so make sure you are working day to day for what you desire. Create your own goals, be a go-getter, find out your own paths to success, and live for yourself. Remember, not everyone is born with a silver spoon in their mouth, so you have to work for yourself and Leave no stone unturned. Work on your strengths. Surround yourself with the positive people, people that motivate you, that inspire you and appreciate you. The people that know you are worth everything and would like to see you flourish.

Find out your way; find out your very own passion. Uplift your life, and double your working hours. Find out what is the main cause of distraction to work, as understanding the problem is 80% of the solution.The more you rely on others for their opinions you lose the opportunities and self-worth. Nobody will take you seriously. Have a firm belief that you can and you will. Make a decision. At first, there will be a ton of difficulties and ton of inner voices holding you back from positivity, but with time you will adjust and thank yourself for making the right decision that steered you to the pinnacles of success.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Free-Yourself-From-Toxic-People---Create-Your-Own-Reality&id=9804441

Message From the Universe: Money Should Be the Least of Your Worries

"A little birdie just came my way and mentioned a deep, soulful desire of yours.

Heavens no, not that one!

She said that you'd be eternally grateful if, once and for all, you never, ever had to worry about money again.

Well, I couldn't resist. Wish granted! You never, ever have to worry about money again.

Anything else? Anything at all? 

The Universe"

One less thing to worry about right? We deal with so many uncertainties in life, including but not limited to, health, job, successful marriage, good kids and the list goes on and on. We live everyday in the hope of reaching financial freedom and all the success that comes with it. We work hard towards reaching that goal and do everything in our power to fully experience what life has to offer. As long as you keep your thoughts positive in nature, work hard making your thoughts a reality, you will accomplish everything in life. There is no middle ground here. I admit that you will face some struggles, but once passed them successfully, you will appreciate everything way more than if the path to success was easy with no hurdles along the way. When things are given to us without much efforts on our end, we start building the feeling of entitlement, which is a feeling that can be detrimental in the long run. Once you show the Universe how hard you work to make the things you want the most in life happen, I can assure you that things are happening in the back end even though you may not notice them at first look. You need to be more aware of your direct environment and be open to signs that will direct you in the right path.

These signs are sometimes not as noticeable as you want them to be but they are there. They manifest themselves in ways you can't really understand but are still there, lurking around you. Your inner voice will give you signs to pay attention and realize their validity. You need to figure out how these signs are related to what you want to accomplish at that given time. There should be some correlation before you start paying attention to every single things happening in your life that are not related at all to your immediate goals. You need to use common sense. No worries, the inner voice will know what to sort out as good signs and non-related ones. Just focus on the path ahead and let the Universe meet you half way. I promise you that you will end up in the right place.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Money-Should-Be-the-Least-of-Your-Worries&id=9562178

What Makes Happiness Knock Into Your Life

It is a legendary question of all times: How can happiness make its way into your life? There are several ways and they are not hard to implement. Read on for highlights.

Here are some tips:

1) Happiness actually arrives when you stop looking for it. Stop thinking about it and go ahead in your life, doing your everyday work and enjoying it. Whatever stands in your way, beat the odds and stand upright on your own two feet. Believe in yourself and in the power of prayers. Happiness is bound to knock into your life.

2) Keep yourself motivated every day. One day's motivation doesn't last - you have to keep doing it on a daily basis. Find something to celebrate or call someone for a fun conversation. Make a list of things that motivate you. Choose one every day and do it. You will be happy.

3) Appreciate what you already have. Don't keep looking outside of yourself. Look within you. What are the blessings that you already have? Can you make a list and stick to your PC's monitor where you can see it every day? Add, delete and edit the list and keep looking at it. Appreciating what you already have makes room for more blessings to enter your life and makes you happier.

4) Happiness is a state of mind. If you are feeling remorse and low in spirits, think of the past happy moments in your life. In this way, make a mind shift. And your spirits will soar and you will be a happy person again.

5) Think of how you can be more of value to your family and nation at large. Try thinking two or three ways and expand the list gradually. You can start small for instance, keeping your room tidy the minute you get up from bed and end up large by being the manager of your company. Yes it's possible - say that to yourself. You will have bigger challenges now - fight your way through them and end up victorious. You will have moments of bliss. Think of more ways to overcome your upcoming challenges. And it becomes a game of life, with you winning over them all the time and be full of smiles.

6) You cannot help others without helping yourself. So help your community, your kids and family, friends and colleagues. When you make others happy, you also catch their vibes and become happy. Laugh and play together during free times. Life on this earth is meant to be happy. So find ways to help others to make them happy while you become happy in the process.

Summing up, those are six ways you can boost your happiness level. Try those which resonate with you. And in no time you will be beaming with lovely smiles, drawing others to you and becoming a happier person in their company.

http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Makes-Happiness-Knock-Into-Your-Life&id=9669027

Thank You

Very simple words. Two words. Sometimes they are said as a matter of routine, like when someone says "Bless you" when you sneeze or a waiter brings you a glass of water. It has been ingrained since childhood to thank, appreciate, others. And mostly, there is not a lot of emotion or care when saying something that has been ingrained, taught and done as a matter of routine.

Contrast that to the times when those two words were meant to convey your sincerest appreciation and acknowledgement for something someone did or said that truly contributed to you. At times, those two words cannot possibly capture all the expression of your appreciation.

When you are on the receiving end of a "thank you", do you pay attention? Do you allow the acknowledgement and appreciation to get to you? Do you allow yourself to experience the gratitude of another person and allow yourself to experience how great you are, for contributing to that person?

My experience is that mostly we, you and I, do not allow ourselves to appreciate who we are. We don't get how great we are. We don't allow the sincere acknowledgement of another to sink in, to wash over us and allow ourselves to truly get it. If we did, we would be moved to tears. We would stop saying things like, "it is no big deal" or "no problem". Or even an automatic but not truly felt, "you are welcome". We would allow ourselves to soak it in and say whatever there was to actually say when we allowed ourselves to get how extraordinary we really are.

I recently attended an event that was a thank you, an acknowledgement, of myself and several other people who had contributed to a friend in a very challenging time. We had fun. She had handwritten notes of appreciation and acknowledgement and we toasted her. I was moved to my core. I was so moved by the opportunity of contributing to her and the privilege it was that she allowed it. I was moved by who I am that I would do that. I was moved by the other people that were there in who they are, in contributing to her. It was such a demonstration of those two words; thank you.

I work with people all the time who thank me. I contribute for a living. In my entire career, first as a registered nurse for 21 years and then for the last 20 years as a business success coach, my thinking, my writing, my designing of programs and my coaching is all about contributing to someone else's success. People succeed wildly around me. They appreciate me. Rarely do I let it in, really. I decided, after this event, I am going to let myself really let in their thank yous. And I will do whatever I need to so that other people truly get my appreciation for them.

To you, who took the time to read this, thank you. It is with such joy that I get to write and contribute to you, your success and your quality of life.

Who can you thank today? Who can you allow to truly thank you?

http://ezinearticles.com/?Thank-You&id=9408194

Do You Appreciate The Little Things Everyday?

For the past year, I kept a gratitude journal and whenever life takes a hit on a bump in the roads I've paved, I look back and re-read some of the entries I have made inside and it feels like someone else secretly wrote my experience down in my place.

That's because it is so easy to forget small moments of gratitude more than anything else.

Funny thing is, why are we able to bear grudges and hold certain amounts of resentment for someone or circumstances over really long periods of time and allow it recur in our minds over and over so easily?

Your brain overrides every single good thing in your life in that instant, like a malfunctioning CPU system that took a hit on a virus and starts a raging war within. It becomes a battle you feel the need to fight and resist every day.

And if you actually keep a diary and have your worst nightmares documented in gruesome details, it'll probably continue to stay in your life and stick around in your experience with you starring as the main lead in the horror movie of your life.

(Well, at least up to the point & moment you burn those journals.)

Gratitude, on the other hand is such a gradual and subtle process in the beginning that it is so easy to overlook and miss, it's almost as if you turn away for a split second and that opportunity slips right through your fingers.

The thing about gratitude is, you need to first of all learn appreciation.

Without the "ability" to appreciate, you wouldn't even begin to know where to start to find the feeling of gratefulness. You start with the things you already have and then begin to appreciate the unfolding of the things you don't have but know is coming and on its way.

Being able to direct your thoughts is the wonderful start of having control of your life, to have the freedom to think your thoughts with deliberate intent and choose what you would like to be feeling in that moment and not have to constantly look to someone else's behavior and action to feel good.

Taking the time to practice feeling appreciation is merely a tool to help sculpt yourself a better stronger mind. There may not be huge explosive great things happening every single day to be jumping and punching the air for joy, but there are always things around you to appreciate in this instant right here and now.

That is the beauty of this practice.

Sometimes it takes something big to happen before it grabs your focus and attention making you learn to appreciate things the hard way, but it really doesn't have to be this way.

You can start anytime and any day.

A healthy person wouldn't start appreciating their ability to breathe with ease until they lose it one day or they wouldn't appreciate the ability to feel hungry to taste & savor food until their appetite was taken away from a dis-ease or illness.

We take for granted the smallest things around us every day.

If we take the time and a little effort to find 1 more thing to add to our list and let it grow, soon enough, it becomes second nature to you.

Soon enough, you will truly take possession and ownership of a new found appreciation for yourself, for the people around you, for all the things that were invented to make you go through your daily activities with ease and comfort.

You will appreciate your ability to listen to soothing music and wonderful conversations, your ability to feel the warm running water soaking through your skin and hug your favorite Egyptian cotton pillow, the ability to see every sunrise in the morning & catch the sun setting in the evenings when you are out on your walks, the ability to smell food coming out from the kitchen and your fridge to be surprised and delighted, the ability to taste what's sitting on your plate to nourish your body and mind that day.

Here are some simple (but not easy at first) methods/ways to start practicing for your well-being:

1) Keep a Gratitude Journal

Start with just 3 things a day and gradually increase it to 5, then 10 and so on so forth.

But 3 is a good start.

2) Express your gratitude

Take the time to really recount on the specific positive feeling of the things you felt grateful for etc, were you excited? Hopeful? Delighted? Inspired?

Learn to increase your A-Z vocabulary of positive feelings and words and you'll soon find that your conversations, sentences you construct and attitude makes a shift etc, A for Appreciation.. B for Beautiful.. C for Carefree.. D for Delight...

3) Self-direct your thoughts & be the architect of your own mind

When something "bad" happens, always be quick to nit-pick for positive aspects. Say, someone was unkind to you that day, you would soothe yourself to find reasons to love them anyway. etc, maybe the person had a bad day, be thankful you are having a much better one and slowly you redirect your focus back to yourself and not let other people's issues or problems be the reason for your bad day.

4) Practice it everyday

Find every possible chance to practice the feeling of it. Whether it's the water you drink that quenched your thirst, the food you bless before your meals, the efficient people you work around with, the kind people you meet on the streets, use it as a tool and shine a spotlight on it.

Put a magnifying glass over every small detail and soon enough, you acclimate to the high feeling energy place and the state of mind of pure appreciation.

When your body & mind dominates the constant feeling of gratitude, nothing else that contradicts it will ever come near your experience.

Basically, we are like walking giant magnets of energy.

What we put out there for the world to receive, we get hit back (hard) with the same one. What goes around comes around, remember? What it is really referring to is not karma. Even though it might feel like it is there and then, if it was a negative bounce.

It has always been about your personal energy you carry with you 24/7. That "vibe" people give off? That's energy. You can't see it, but you can absolutely feel it.

So would you be more careful with what you hold in your thoughts if you knew this law? As sure as the law of gravity, this attraction exists and it is happening all the time even if you can't see it with your naked eye. So make small effort to shift that energy if you want only to engage with the best. And let the respective islands group itself accordingly to energy.

Be a force to be reckoned with & spread only the things you would want to have on your plate and in your life.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-You-Appreciate-The-Little-Things-Everyday?&id=9414138

Relationships: Do Some People Only Talk To You When They Want Something?

Although relationships can be based on give and take, they can also be out of balance. When this happens, one person can give and another person can take, and this is going to lead to problems.

Normal

However, this is not to say that either of these people will realise that they are out of balance, as it could be something that is outside of their awareness. If one is used to giving more than they receive, it could be how their life has always been.

And if one is used to receiving more than they give, this could also be how their life has been for as long as they can remember. The person who always gives could be fed up with what is taking place, but the person who always receives could have a radically different experience.

Part of Life

Yet even though one person can be in a position where they have had enough of being taken advantage of, it doesn't mean that they will do anything about it. For one thing, they could believe that it is just how life is.

On the other hand, the other person can be used to getting what they want and so they might not see any reason why they should change. This is then part of their life and they will be happy for it to continue.

Reaching Out

As a result of this, the person who gives is more likely to reach out for support than the person who receives. This is because they are not going to be happy with how their life is; whereas the kind of experience that the other person has can stop them from doing anything.

In fact, they could believe that other people should take care of their needs, and there will then be no reason for them to change. So if other people have a problem with their behaviour, it could be normal for them to dismiss it.

A High Turnover

Through being indifferent to the needs of others, it can mean that they don't have the same people in their life for very long. In the beginning someone might not realise what is taking place and then as time passes, it could soon become clear.

But even if this did have a negative effect on them, it could be an experience that soon passes. They could believe that there is nothing wrong with their behaviour, and that other people are the problem.

Hangers-On

When one is used to having people in their life who generally take, they could find that the same people stay around. Now, this is not to say that they are always there; what it can come down to is that they may have been in one's life for quite some time.

At times, one might not hear form them for a few months, and at other times, they could hear from them a few times in the same week, for instance. The reason they stay around is not because they appreciate them, it is because they know they will be there to meet their needs.

From Time To Time

There could be moments when one does receive things from these kinds of people, but even if they do, it is unlikely to make up for everything they have given up until that point. Nevertheless, it could be seen as a big gesture in their eyes, and they could expect to receive something back.

In fact, this could be something that only takes place when they want one to do something for them. It could mean doing something straight after, or they might expect something a few days later.

The Reason

One way of looking at this would be to say that one only hears from these people when they want something. It then won't matter if they want to spend time with them or need their help, as it won't be possible.

It can then appear as though they no longer live in the same area, or seem as though they have left the planet. In reality, they are probably taking advantage of someone else, and until this changes, they could be out of reach.

Distant

Alternatively, one could get in touch with them to see how they are doing and they could answer their question/s, but that could be as far as it goes. They are then happy to extend themselves as one is giving their energy to them and yet they are not willing to return the favour.

One is then making the effort to see how they are doing, but they are going to be wasting their energy. There is also the chance that they will ask how they are and say about meeting in a few days or in a week.

Flaky

After the time has passed, one could find that they can't get hold of them, or they may say that they forgot all about it. They could say that they will contact them and then this doesn't take place.

Clearly, these are things that can happen from time to time, but this is not what is being spoken about here. What this relates to is when this is something that happens on a regular basis.

A Decision

When one is using to having people in their life who behave in this way, it will be important for them to think about whether they won't to put up with it any longer. As all the time they put up with this behaviour, there is going to be no reason for these people to change.

It might also be necessary for one to look into why they put up with, as this could be a sign that they don't value themselves. Therefore, if they started to feel better about themselves, they might no longer put up with this kind of behaviour, and this would then create the space for them to attract people who are different.

Awareness

When this comes to changing how one feels about themselves, it might be necessary for them to work with a therapist. Or they could read up about this area and apply what they learn.

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