The 3 Levels Of Personal Development To Live Your Dreams

So having come to this website, you are probably wondering what personal development is exactly? What does personal development mean and how does it work?

Because “personal development” is a very abstract and general phrase…If we are going to develop ourselves and our lives…where do we start? Where do we end (what is the goal)? What do we do?!

Well I am going to explain that all now, in a way that will not only help you understand personal development and what it is, but how to begin to engage in it for your own benefit, and set you out on your own journey of personal development.

And to set you out on this journey I will be laying out for you the basic progression that personal development takes. For you see I have delineated personal development work into three distinct phases, or “levels” of said work. And using this sequence of engagement you will be able to lay out your own basic personal development path and the progression that you want your self actualization and the cultivation of your dream life to take.

So what are these three phases or “levels” of Personal Development you ask…

Well without further ado, here they are for you:

THE THREE LEVELS OF PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

1.) The “Finding of The Self” and development of ones Ontology – This first phase of Personal Development is the foundation for the other two phases, and perhaps the most important. It is almost impossible to conduct any other personal development work without having a very definitive idea of who you are and what your life is all about. So in True Life Development I teach that all personal development work should begin with finding yourself and formulating your personal ontology. What is Ontology you ask? Well this is the development of your “mission statement” and purpose in life which goes along with the finding of who you really are as a person. Your ontology is your sense of your life’s purpose which gives you the ability to figure out what your “life’s work” is. Without having a good (and definitive) sense of self, and who you really are, you cant develop yourself or become your Ideal self, can you? And you certainly cant find your life’s purpose, much less fulfil it. So it all starts with figuring out who you really are, and what you are all about, so that you can have a definitive sense of what is called your “Identity”. Then once you know what you are all about, you can figure out what your life is all about, and from there, decide what you want your life’s work to be. So this phase can actually be seen as having three sub-levels, which we delineate as such:

A.) Finding yourself and figuring out who you really are as a person

B.) Figuring out what you “are all about”, and what you want your life to be about

C.) Assigning your “life’s purpose”, your “mission statement” and your “life’s work”

2.) Becoming your Ideal Self – Once we have figured out who we really are and what we are all about, we then need to figure out what our ideal self looks like. This is where you decide what you want to develop yourself into and become as a person. This phase of personal development only addresses the development of us as a person, and not our lifestyle however, which we will deal with in the next phase. It is here where you can close your eyes and imagine your dream self, and what they look like, act like, how they feel, what they do, etc. This is you at your happiest, most enlightened, most confident, strongest and most fit and healthy physically, most powerful in every way, most attractive, perhaps wealthiest, most charismatic, best dressed, most affluent in business, and with having everything about you that is important to you idealized in every way. You must assign a definitive identity to your ideal self, and it helps to make a list of the character traits and qualities you want to develop and the strengths you want to possess, and who it really is you want to become. Then once you know the ways in which you can “be the best that you can be” as they say, you can begin to systematically step into that identity and become your “ideal self” using personal development programs and practices. This is where the actual personal development is done, cultivating your character and who you are so that you can become the best you!

And then finally…

3.) Developing your Dream Life! – This is where you take the personal development work you have done and are continuing to do on yourself but can begin to apply it more to your lifestyle. For once you are developing yourself to be the best you can be, then you can really begin to live your dreams! So you now must think about what your dream life consists of, and write down a list of things that you want out of life, and all the ways in which you want to live most ideally. This is perhaps the best part (or at least the most fun) in all personal development work. This is where you get to decide what it is your dreams are in life, and actualize them. So how do you want to live? Do you want to be a great business person or powerful sociopolitical figure? Do you want to be wealthy and live a life of luxury? Do you want to find love and perhaps start a family? Do you want to live in some idyllic location? Do you want to travel and go on adventures? Are there amenities you have always dreamed of having? Are there any amazing things you want to “do” (like activities) in life? It is important to know what we want our life to be most ultimately, because as you are engaging in this personal development work and becoming your best self then you can really begin to live a better life and effectuate all of your wildest dreams. So if you have not yet dreamed them, do so now! Figure out what you want in life and you will be able to get it through this systematic personal development work!

Exciting isn’t it?

Yes…and this is exactly why I have dedicated my life to personal development. It started with myself, but part of my ontology is not only developing myself to the greatest capacity, but wanting to help others do so, and starting this business so that I can fulfil my life’s work in the realm of personal development to the greatest extent. And part of my dream life is being able to effectuate some real change in this world and make a difference. So thank you for reading this blog and allowing me to help you. You can certainly see how rewarding engaging in such work on yourself is, and not only that but how exciting and fun it is too! I mean having the opportunity to figure out what you want to be and do with yourself and do it is such an amazing thing! And knowing that you have the resources and ability to be anything you want to and do anything you want with your life is such an incredible opportunity, and it feels good to have that doesn’t it? So take a moment to realize how auspicious the occasion to be able to engage in actualizing your dreams, and really allow yourself to feel how good it feels to know that you are now beginning to really step into that picture. And be proud of yourself for being the type of person who gets in touch with who they really are and engages in personal development work to become the best that they can be, and effectuate their dream lifestyle. Because there are many people out there who live their lives not knowing who they are or fulfilling their potential as human beings, much less living any kind of above average way. But not you, you are different aren’t you? You are definitely the above average type, the type who will not settle for that kind of mundane lifestyle. You are going to fulfil your potential and your life’s purpose, to live and be the most ultimate life/person you possibly can be. So congratulations for taking that first step on this journey of self actualization. It all has begun right here right now. Now all you have to do is delineate this journey through these three facets of phases I have laid out for you so that you can systematically progress up through these three levels of personal development for the most ultimate experience in life! And luckily for you, with systems like these, its easy! So what are you waiting for? Lets start now!

Good luck on your path to a better life! :)

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/the-3-levels-of-personal-development-to-live-your-dreams

Overcoming Shame to Connect with Your True Self

Each of us experiences shame.

“[I]t is part of our human condition,” writes author and therapist Darlene Lancer, LMFT, in Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You.

Without good coping skills, we may feel like failures when we don’t meet our own or others’ expectations, she writes. In fact, shame can even prevent us from being our true selves. Shame often starts in childhood. It can even get passed down from generation to generation.

Shame thrives in families where kids must keep secrets about such as issues as addiction, infidelity or poverty, to keep up appearances.

Teachers might shame kids for their academic performance. Parents might shame kids for expressing feelings such as anger or sadness.

Shame can camouflage our true self, because it can lead us to manufacture false selves, according to Lancer. These are the:

• Ideal self: “who we believe we should be”
• Persona: “what we show to others”
• Critic: “our inner shaming voice”
• Devalued self: “the result of the critic’s shaming”

For instance, if your parents or caregivers rejected or denied certain parts of your real self, you might’ve experienced shame and created an ideal self. If sadness wasn’t accepted in your family, then you might imagine being the “family hero,” a “tough kid” or a “good girl,” Lancer writes.

This ideal self provides an imagined sense of acceptance and worth. But it also alienates the real self, because, after all, it’s a false self. People may pick professions, partners and lifestyles to garner others’ approval.

Before she was a therapist, Lancer pursued a law career. “I unconsciously thought that being a lawyer would gain my parents’ respect, since they didn’t support my original career goals — one of which was to become a therapist.”

We also bend for our inner critic. We suppress our real feelings and anything else that doesn’t conform to the ideal. So we force ourselves to think different thoughts, to feel different feelings and do different things. When we inevitably don’t measure up to our ideal image, we’re stricken with shame. But as Lancer writes, “In actuality we’re expecting the impossible — to become someone other than ourselves.”

In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Lancer includes valuable and practical strategies for overcoming shame and becoming our authentic selves. She notes that “getting to know our real self is a process of uncovering and discovering.” These tips from her book can help with this process:

Check in with yourself on a daily basis.

Ask yourself what you’re feeling and what you want today. Ask yourself what you’d like for the future. Consider what your body, mind, heart and soul need. Then figure out the steps you can take to respond to these needs.

Write about your interactions.

You also can review your interactions every day. Lancer includes these additional questions to explore: “Did you ever avoid saying what you were really thinking or feeling? What kept you from doing so? Did you make decisions based on your values?”

Write about your feelings.

Be honest about what you’re feeling, and know that you can express yourself fully on the page. If you were shamed for having certain feelings — such as anger or sadness — know that any feeling you’re experiencing is valid.

Explore your values. 

“Knowing our values helps us make decisions that are right for us,” writes Lancer. Look within and write down what’s important to you – not your parents, partner or anyone else.

Share your real self.

According to Lancer, being vulnerable with others creates connection, builds trust in them and ourselves and strengthens our true selves.

Share your feelings and needs with people who make you feel safe and won’t judge you. For instance, Lancer suggests attending a 12-step meeting, such as Al-Anon or Codependents Anonymous, or working with a therapist.

She also suggests starting to express your vulnerability by sharing a mistake you made with someone you trust.

Shame can stifle our true selves. By seeking supportive resources and delving into your feelings, thoughts and values, you can get to know yourself better, overcome your shame and embrace the real you.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/08/17/overcoming-shame-to-connect-with-your-true-self/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter