Making Excuses - Not Helpful! (By Linda Hancock)

Sometimes people think that their behaviours are justified. Many believe that they shouldn't have to "fess up" unless they are "caught" doing something that they know deep down is not a good choice. Well, nothing surprises me anymore as I have seen over 8,000 clients and have heard probably every scenario possible as well as dozens of excuses for each.

Alcohol and marijuana are now both legal. This has caused some confusion in society especially for those who are in safety sensitive positions. They signed "zero tolerance" contracts with their employers and know the consequences that they will face if they have been using substances. Sometimes they are reported anonymously through Ethics Hotlines. They may self-disclose or be found out when the company does testing after an incident at the worksite.

However, not everyone is willing to take responsibility for a failed substance test.

Here are some of the excuses that I have heard over the years:

1. The lab messed up - Testing involves determining temperature of the sample, as well as the specific drug(s) and the amount in the person's system. Great care is made to ensure that this is done in a scientific and professional manner. Suggesting that there was a mistake is usually just wishful thinking. Also, testing rules out the possibility that you were just inhaling smoke from others in a small space.
2. I only tried it once - Minimizing the problem doesn't justify it any more than the criminally accused who states that s/he only raped the victim once.
3. It's not my fault - Accusing friends or family members who supplied the substance or encouraged you to take it ignores the fact that you always have a choice.
4. The company is being unreasonable - The reason that your job is classified as "safety sensitive" is that you have the obligation to protect yourself and others without unnecessary risks. You knew the expectations and consequences the day you signed the contract.
5. If it's legal then I should be able to use it - Alcohol is legal but that doesn't mean that you should go to work after or while drinking. Same with marijuana.
6. What I do on my own time should be my business - Marijuana can stay in your system for several days or even weeks. If you decide to smoke it during your day's off, you might regret it once you are back on shift.
7. I don't have a problem - I am not sure how a person who is suspended from work, unable to pay bills and having relationship problems because of their substance use can think this.
8. I have quit now and will never do this again - There is an old expression that says, "Desperate people do desperate things". Often, I hear statements and promises from individuals who just want the consequences to disappear.
9. In-patient rehab is not needed because I am not "that bad". Unfortunately, the person who fails the test is not respected for good judgement in this area. Other co-workers might be using more substances more often, but they haven't been "caught" yet.
10. I can't afford to be away from work for twenty-eight days of treatment. The good news is that because Substance Use Disorder is a recognized diagnosis, many employees have disability benefits that will help them financially during their leave.

I find it interesting to hear people state that they use drugs and alcohol to help them sleep, numb out, "chill", relax and change their mood. At the same time, they claim that while they are using substances, they can still be excellent drivers and alert employees.

Years of research and the development of legislation has led to policies and laws that are focused on reducing risk for citizens. Usually those who are caught disrespecting them in the workplace or behind the wheel do not have excuses that would justify their actions.

Excuses are usually just ways to avoid looking in the mirror and taking mature responsibility for making bad choices.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Making-Excuses---Not-Helpful!&id=10167184

New Year's Resolutions: Mistakes To Avoid + Be Successful

Most people look at the beginning of the year as a chance to change their lives,

However, I have seen that at least 50% of those who establish New Year's Resolutions or Big Goals for the New Year fail.

Reasons are that people are putting so much pressure on themselves to make New Year's Resolutions. or believe their lives will change at the stroke of midnight. Such extreme pressure sets your up for failing. Most people are in a fog from the holidays on January 1st that they don't even think about starting because they are tired or stressed.

For example, I had a client who for a couple years in a row said he was going to stop smoking for the New Year. He never did because he really felt pressure and in his heart really did not want to stop. This is so common to make such grand choices because people feel they are expected to make choices such as losing weight, stop smoking or other

habits that they really don't think about much the rest of the year.

How you can increase the likelihood of keeping a resolution or a new habit?

Whether is a New Year's Resolution or setting goals, people are more likely to success if they just take the time at the end of the year or when they are goal-setting to reflect. People should reflect on the past year or recent month to get a baseline or reference point on what they have been doing with their life and where they are at right now.

Asking 'heart-felt: questions are the key.

You must reflect before you make your choices.

1. Write down what you have done this last year.

Do these for different areas of your life such as work, relationships and self (self-care).

2. Ask yourself: What is missing in my life?

What have I not done yet?

3. Ask Yourself: What would I most likely to have in my life right now?

Image or picture what you most want in your life.

How would I feel in the next few years if I have not pursued my dreams and goals?

Don't be upset if you have negative thoughts or reactions, let 'inspirational dissatisfaction' motivate you.

The likelihood of making goals and developing a new habit are based on the questions what must be asked before goal setting. If you do not take the time to ask yourself these questions you are just shooting arrows in the dark at a target.

4. Goals:

After these questions then you are ready to make 2 to 4 goals.

Keep these tips in mind when you make your goals. To begin building new habits that support your goals or just wanting to make a change inhabits I suggest:

1. Start with small gradual moves or steps.

For example. if you want a new career or skills don't quit your job to go back full-time to school, take one course for a start and see if you like it. Break the goal down to tangible parts.

2. Break free of excuses

What may sound as valid reason for not working on your goals and new habits are really 'agony anchors' that hold you back. These are feelings of fear of change.

I hear from clients that they are 'too busy', 'I had no time this week' and other self-pity statements. This is never empowering. I have clients get a calendar or put in the cell phone calendar the day or evening they will work on their new goals and habits.

Example: If it is to go to the gym, schedule it in your calendar. Pre-plan and make this appointment with yourself. I am amazed how crowded my gym is in January and have many people stop going by Feb, because they have allowed many 'distractions" in their lives. Yes, things pop-up. If and when they do, immediately re-schedule your calendar when you will attend.

3. Don't share your goals or some of them with people who will act critical. Only tell those who will encourage and support you.

To become happier and more confident -- avoid emotional vampires. Unhappy people allow "emotional vampires" to suck their positive feelings right out of their skulls. Emotional vampires include people who put you down, criticize or mock you, or sabotage your dreams and aspirations. Never let snipers or negative people shoot holes in your boat. These types of people drain the life out of you.

Take survey of your life by making a list of people and situations you expose yourself to. Then, discard or limit people, habits or situations that keep you from feeling optimistic and happy. In other words, 'burn your bridges' if needed.

Example: I had a young client in her early 30's who wanted to train to run a half-marathon. She was very excited. She told her mother what she was planning to do and her mother looked at her and said, "you can't do that... " She was upset and learned very quickly this principle of enlisting those who are only positive and supportive.

Follow these tips and you will not only be successful in the New Year, you will feel happier and optimistic.

http://ezinearticles.com/?New-Years-Resolutions:-Mistakes-To-Avoid-+-Be-Successful&id=9842278

The Ball Is in Your Court - Are You Interested or Committed? (By Stephanie Wilson-Coleman)

One of my favorite quotes is "There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.

When it comes to religion many of us have a religious belief that functions more like an interest and not a commitment. When circumstances permit or are in our favor, we believe that with God all things are possible. When the circumstances appear to be challenging, we believe that some power other than God is causing havoc in our life. We then start to search for the perfect formula to success but all we find are complicated strategies. Everyone has one, including me. No matter what strategy you choose, every strategy you find starts with the same foundation, belief. To achieve success, you must build a solid foundation: What do you believe?

I believe that everyone has the right to an abundant life that is filled with peace, great health, harmonious relationships and a lot of money. There is one prerequisite, you have to believe this for yourself. Mark 11:24 says it best... Therefore, I say unto you. All things whatsoever ye pray and ask for, believing that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

We have hypnotized ourselves into believing that there are no problems with our current belief system, but when you look at the demonstration in our lives, we find dis-ease in every form imaginable. Accept the fact that your belief system has created the life you are experiencing. If you are experiencing lack or limitation in any form your belief system needs an overhaul.

I ask you not to abandon your current belief but to allow it to expand. In this moment push aside the fear of changing and allow your belief to consider the possibility of living a more abundant life. Starting now, think of every event and encounter as sacred. Every great comedian states that they look for comedy in every situation; I want you to look for abundance in every situation and you will be pleasantly surprised when you find the face of God in everything.

Dream Big! Life the life you have imagined.

Remember life is too short to drink cheap champagne!

"Do not go gentle into that good night; find a hill worth dying for and take It; be the person you're waiting for; make today so awesome, that yesterday gets jealous and above all else do it Your way."

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Ball-Is-in-Your-Court---Are-You-Interested-or-Committed?&id=9673773

Forget Excuses - Remember Self Motivation

                 

The internet is a wonderful thing and since its introduction to the world it has created an abundance of money making opportunities for anyone looking to make an income from home.

A lot of individuals who have gone on to make substantial incomes from online businesses started with zero or limited knowledge of how to do so.

Today more than ever there are a good number of internet entrepreneurs and businesses offering genuine online business opportunities.

So with all these opportunities available why do only a handful of people succeed while the majority either give up or just move from opportunity to opportunity without ever getting close to success?

The reason most people fail is down to personal development, the need to identify and set goals, then be able to systemically carry them through to conclusion.

Add to this the ability to keep yourself motivated when things don't always go the way you planned and you find a cocktail of characteristics that the majority of us have to work hard to maintain.

Everyday when you wake, you have a very important choice to make...

You have to choose what to do with your time and the choice you make will determine whether by the end of the day you will be closer to where you want, or at the same point you where when you woke up that morning.

Too many people say they want to change their lives for the better, some even set goals and maybe have a small idea of what they need to do, but sadly the choice they make when they wake in the morning is the same one they have been making every day up to that point...

The point is your life will not change unless you take action...

None of your goals will be achieved unless you do something about them...

When I speak to people, I hear all kinds of excuses but the most common one by far is,..

I don't have the time!

I don't have the time... these five little words are by far the favourite excuse for many people to hide behind.

However, when I dig a little deeper and start asking some questions, I find that in the majority of cases a little lifestyle change here and there and a small sacrifice or two can free up the valuable hours you need to start making a difference to your lives.

It may come as no surprise that one of the biggest consumers of our time is television,

Latest stats tell us that the average Brit watches 24 hours of TV a week and the average American 30 hours a week!

24-30 hours A WEEK!

That's almost a full time job, even if you reduced your time watching TV by half that would free up 15 hours a week that could be better spent working on your goals and ambitions.

It's not just TV either plenty of time is wasted away on other activities, things like spending hours at the mall, going to pubs and bars, going to ball games/events, playing video games, reading newspapers/magazines, social media, procrastinating, browsing the internet for nothing in particular the list goes on.

None of the things on this list are vital to our everyday lives yet so many people are unwilling to give them up, even though they say they want to change their lives and their circumstances.

I'm not saying cut everything you enjoy out of your life...

I'm just saying if you really do want to make changes sometimes you have to make short term sacrifices in order to manage your time better and maybe even (for now) stop doing some of the things you would normally do in order to free up the time you need to make long term gains.

So lets assume you have decided to make some changes and you have managed to free up some extra hours during the week.

What do you do next?

After all you have just potentially given something up you really enjoy, something you have been doing for years.

How are you supposed to keep yourself moving forward and not revert back to the comfortable, TV watching procrastinator you were before we decided to make these changes?

Well the one thing you must have if you want to succeed is a daily shot of motivation, this is essential because if you are not motivated then it is very easy to slide back into the rut you have just pulled yourself out of.

It is especially important at the start that you get this daily shot until you build up the belief that what you are doing is working, until you can see everyday that you are getting closer to your goal and until the motivation comes without you having to search for it.

When you get to that point you will have a drive and determination that will be burning so deep inside you that you will not be able to ignore it, it will get to the stage where any obstacle that is put in your way will just be taken in your stride and you will feel like nothing can stop you from achieving what you set out to do.

So how do you get to that point? what do you need to do?

The first thing is have your goals written out in as much detail as possible and read these goals every morning as you wake and every evening before you retire, this will remind you of why you are making these changes to your life and instil some of the motivation you need to keep going.

The second thing is to make a mood board - A mood board is a visual representation of where you want to be in your life and is usually made up of images and text representing your ambitions and goals.

As with your goals make sure you look at this everyday and imagine yourself in as much detail as possible living the life your goals and mood board show.

The final thing is a daily affirmation, this is something you need to do by yourself.

Put aside 10 minutes during the day, turn off your mobile phone, the radio and the TV find yourself a quiet spot in a dimly lit or darkened room, sit down in a comfortable chair and relax.

Next repeat the following to yourself:

"I awake everyday feeling an insatiable drive and determination to succeed, I find it easy to motivate myself and I look forward with excitement to the things I will achieve during the coming day."

Close your eyes and clear your mind of any distracting thoughts, don't try to think of anything just let yourself relax for a minute or two, relax your body and let the tension drain away from your muscles.

It is not easy to do this at first so you may find it easier to concentrate on each individual body part, starting at your toes and working up until your whole body is relaxed.

With practice you will find this comes easier until you can almost do it without thinking.

Next start to count slowly in your head until you reach 20. When you do you should feel totally relaxed, almost trance-like. If any other distracting thoughts should pop into your head as you count, don't worry, clear your mind and start over.

When you are in this relaxed state concentrate on the statement you have just read, don't worry about knowing it all off by heart just repeat the key words to yourself.

Slowly return to your fully conscious state thinking as you do that you are feeling more relaxed more alert and more motivated than you were before.

The subconscious mind is a powerful thing and the whole point of this exercise is to instil these thoughts into your subconscious mind until they are accepted as fact and in doing so will become second nature to you.

You will notice that if you repeat this exercise on a regular daily basis you will start to see the results in no time at all. You will probably find that at first it is hard to get to the right level of deep relaxation but once you do start to master this consistently then the speed with which you achieve your desired effect will increase.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Forget-Excuses---Remember-Self-Motivation&id=9753015

5 Stupid Excuses for Giving Up

There's a saying that goes: "If it's important to you, you'll find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

Boom. Love it.

If a project is neither necessary or interesting for you anymore, there's no shame in abandoning it. But otherwise, there are only excuses for giving up on working towards our deepest dreams and desires.

And I wage that there are only stupid excuses for giving up the project of building one's confidence.

With that, I hereby line up five of these excuses and debunk them one at a time:

#1. "I've tried everything"

First of all, no you haven't. Because if you did, you'd have succeeded.

Second, let's even say for a moment, hypothetically, that you'd literally tried everything and still not succeeded. Ask yourself what's most likely: That A) somehow it just doesn't work for you out of everyone who's tried everything, ever, or that B) there's one or more steps which you simply haven't done properly.

#2. "It's too hard"

Too hard for what?? Nothing is "too hard" if you do it in achievable magnitudes. In other words: Break it down into smaller bits and don't do more than possible at a time.

Even if you're about to take on a major endeavour, you gotta start wherever you're at. And all the better if you start slowly and accelerate gradually. If you're gonna run a marathon, you're not gonna start off by doing all 26 miles at once. But if you can run 20 minutes three times a week, you're off to a decent start.

Wanna start your own business? Read the three best books in your field and you'll be way ahead of the vast majority.

#3. "I've given up on everything else, once more won't make any difference"

This isn't something we say out loud, but a piece of inner dialogue. It's habitual thinking out of habitual action - or lack thereof. And it's a painfully obvious result of low confidence and self-esteem.

If it's important to you, it does so make a difference that you don't give up. And that, plus the fact that you've given up on "everything else", even if it's an exaggeration, is all the more reason for you to not give up on this one.

#4. "I haven't got the time"

Just like the "I've tried everything" mindset, this mindset is one of limited resourcefulness. It's probably the most common and reasonable one on here. - But it's still no more than an excuse.

You see... WE ALL HAVE 24 HOURS EVERY DAY.

There is no such thing as "I haven't got the time". There is only wrong prioritizing and lack of energy, and these are amenable obstacles.

Getting a coach is a hugely effective way of solving this.

#5. "It feels safer and more comfortable doing what I'm used to"

Like #3, this is one of those unsaid excuses we only tell ourselves, and that is just eerily close to its origin in fear, insecurity, and low confidence/self-esteem.

Look... :

The biggest risk is to bet your entire life on fear-based habits and instant gratification.

We're here once. No reasonable basis for thinking otherwise. So let's establish all the confidence we need. Let's not waste our only chance by letting fear and insecurity get in the way.

Let's stop coming up with dumb excuses for giving up on our true goals.

http://ezinearticles.com/?5-Stupid-Excuses-for-Giving-Up&id=9762780

Bad Excuses (By Wilson Horrell)

I have bad knees, at least I did. That's why I didn't run. I also had a bad back, which is why I didn't lift weights. OK, maybe the bad back was more for the pain pills, but either way, it was a crappy excuse. I could tell people that I had bad knees from playing football... in high school... until I was seventeen. I thought it was a good excuse and maybe even made me sound cool. You know, maybe I could have people believe that I was some sort of gridiron god who sacrificed the use of his lower body for the glory of the game. There are a lot of us who want this, and cling tightly to it. We all have "bad knees". Either way, my excuses are garbage.

You know who has "bad knees"? Larry Csonka. Martina Navratilova. Jim Brown has "bad knees". Kirk Gibson has "bad knees". Those are people who can use the term "bad knees" as if it is a legitimate medical diagnosis. I will let them slide. They have "bad knees" because it would take a month for them to rattle off all of the legitimate medical problems which they have been diagnosed.

Yours truly? Well, his diagnosis is more along the lines of overall laziness, denial, delusion, and unwillingness to sacrifice some discomfort in order to become a little more physically fit in an effort to enhance the quality of his life.

The reality is that I truly believed myself to have bad knees and a bad back. Society reinforced this by accepting such lameness. People are more than willing to shake their head and give you a sympathetic pat on the back. Sure, my knees were sore after years of playing a contact sport, but that was not an excuse to not use them again for the rest of my life. Lots of people play contact sports, who suffer far worse injuries than I ever did... they just choose not to dwell on them for the next couple of decades.

Yes, it hurts when I run.

Would you like to know why?

Because physical activity is uncomfortable, and progress requires discomfort.

Yes, my back hurts when I squat, or deadlift.

Would you like to know why?

Because I have mobility issues in my hips, and I am unwilling to take the time to do the proper stretches and mobility work required to correct the issue. Stretching is not sexy, and I want to spend my time doing the grunting, meathead movements that appeal to me. But, to say that any part of my body is "bad", without having, at the very least, a long string of hard to pronounce words with a Latin origin, is an excuse, not a reason.

I hear this so often. We all do. We all know a dozen people with a "bad back" or "bad knees", but we know far less with a clinical diagnosis, prognosis, and physical therapy plan to help correct the issue. We have become so accustomed to surrender. We just accept these physical limitations as truth, and prepare to lay down and die.

Now, I am not saying that everyone, or anyone, should run, walk, bike, swim, or lift weights. What I am saying is that if your excuse for not doing any of these things is because you have a "bad ____" that "hurts when I ____", you are making a poor excuse.

Here are some perfectly acceptable reasons, which I don't view as excuses. They are honest and valid. They are based on opinion, and I have no problem accepting honest opinions, my problem is with delusional excuses... which I have many.

"I don't exercise because it sucks."

"I don't CrossFit because I think you are all the highest level of douchebags on the planet."

"I don't run because I have better things to do with my time than experience heavy breathing, raw nipples, chafed thighs, and overall discomfort for the sake of shaving off a few minutes from some 5k time."

"I don't swim because I am a land dwelling mammal, who has not the least desire to strap on an ugly water cap and goofy looking goggles."

"I don't bike because I don't want to cruise around in a pack of egotistical goobs that look like uncomfortable alien people."

I can accept all of these as valid reasons. My point is not that everyone should exercise. My point is that I played the same tape through my head, over and over, for a period of years, and eventually I whole-heartedly believed the bullcrap that I was manufacturing. People have real issues, with very real limitations. However, I think there are many, many more people who just want to believe what is most comfortable.

Yes, running can make your knees hurt when you get old.

You know what else will make your knees hurt?

Old age. Carrying 300lbs worth of cheetos in your tits and lovehandles.

Yes, lifting can be hard on your back.

You know what else can give you back trouble as you get older?

Old age. Laying on a couch or recliner during every moment that you are not hunched behind a computer screen. So will carrying around a few hundred pounds of assorted gas station chicken tenders, jalepenos poppers, roller foods, and ordering enough cheese-bread and pizza that you send your delivery boy a graduation gift.

If you sing tenor in a roof-raising choir and you have a chronic sore throat, you don't tell people that you have a "bad throat". If you're lead guitar in a badass rock band and you can't feel the tips of your fingers, you don't tell people that you have "bad fingers". If you are a passionate writer who becomes dizzy and can't see the screen, you don't tell folks that you have "bad eyes". If you are a horsepower addicted mechanic and you can't grip a wrench, you don't tell people you have "bad hands". Hell no, you don't. You get down to causes and conditions. You won't accept a vague, blanketed excuse. You become willing to visit every doctor, lawyer, and Indian chief you can find within a gas tank from where you live.

I don't trust me. I'm not asking you to, either. I'm grateful to have the self awareness and willingness to look at my bad reasoning and identify these as excuses. There are plenty of reason to not do things that I can accept, but if I am falling under the delusion of a poorly placed excuse, well... I have peeps for that. I have community. I have people who listen to my thoughts, my strategies, and my motives. These people are who I rely on to keep me grounded, honest, and in somewhat of a realistic state.

Give that something a try. Try that thing in spite of the limiting factor, which has been holding you back for all these years. Through years of life, hardship, and personal growth, that limiting factor might have reduced into a hiccup or dissolved entirely, because you are stronger person now. Take that chance.

Try that thing.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Bad-Excuses&id=9604311

How To Get Past Roadblocks and Overwhelm

If you are really stuck in a zone, it might take you a little bit for something to come to you, but stay at it. For example, if you are struggling to get more traffic to your website, maybe you will come up with something new to test out, or think of someone you can ask who will give you good advice - someone who is successfully doing what you need to accomplish.

Go through this process more than once, and give yourself some options. Once you have those options, you must take action. Give yourself a deadline when you will complete those actions, and keep repeating the process.

Don't let excuses keep you from taking that action and meeting the deadline you have set for yourself.

Keep reminding yourself this is possible! There will always be problems - no matter who you are and how successful you become. You get one problem solved, and another one comes up. Go back to the first step of asking what you can do about it and then take action.

Focus on one strategy at a time to get to your goal. Create your goal, write it down and then focus all of your energy on that one goal until you reach it. This will help you from becoming overwhelmed.

Write out in detail each step you will take to get you there. Write every piece out and schedule it into your calendar. This 2-step process of writing it down and actually adding it to your calendar will dramatically increase your odds!

Commit to it just like you would any other appointment, because this is your life! This is a very simple, yet effective process. Once you clear your mind of all the clutter and information coming at you, you will see a clear focus.

Do you feel overwhelmed? Join the many others who feel the same way. Feeling overwhelmed comes when you are trying to absorb all the new information you are learning at once. It is not necessarily about absorbing it all, but centering specifically on what you need to focus on and break down into actionable steps.

The cure to overwhelm is to 'get it out'. If you are taking in a certain amount of information, get it out by taking action with that information. Nobody has the time to learn everything, so stay focused and take put into the action what you are learning each step of the way.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Get-Past-Roadblocks-and-Overwhelm&id=9420418

Message From the Universe: Limitless Possibilities!

"Often you don't know what you can do until you do it; what you can be until you become it; or what you can have until you have it.

But hey, that never stopped you before!

Arriba, arriba, ándale, ándale - 

The Universe"

So why not wanting it all, be it all and can do it all? If your thoughts can dictate and bring these kinds of results, why even considering thinking negative? This is why you have so many great potential out there to be more than they can ever envision their life to be but are not where they are because of their thoughts. So many obstacles they personally create in their mind, so many excuses they give themselves as to why things are not done.Excuses are for losers too scared to accomplish anything they want because it is easier to give excuses than figuring out how to complete the task. Who doesn't want an easy life right? I am sure you do. However, the easy path isn't always the happiest one. By walking it, you lose motivation because nothing is challenging anymore. Nothing gets you to wake up every morning and look forward to tackle life with enthusiasm. You no longer feel you need to achieve anything anymore as everything is given to you. Life ends at this point, maybe not physically speaking, but mentally and spiritually.

However, when you confront fear, hurdles, challenges, difficulties and you figure out ways to finding solutions, your mind keeps active, which in return, gives you the self esteem needed to pursue all your dreams and goals. You no longer are afraid of anything and you do everything in your power to look for more creative ways to grow and prosper. More opportunities open up because of your many qualities and you find more ways to give back to society, because you learned how to pay it forward. Life is all about paying it forward as you are giving back what life gave you in the first place, opportunities. Life chose YOU to create a difference that others do not have the intelligence or capability to do. Because of that, you need to feel extra special knowing how much value life gives you particularly. When you do accomplish all your goals, always remember your roots, and where you came from and how hard you worked to get to where you are today. Never forget that part and always allow yourself to sit for a minute, looking out from your penthouse, and be proud of all your accomplishments.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Limitless-Possibilities!&id=9426901

Improving Your Image at Work

First impressions can be hard to overcome. If you feel like you have earned a reputation that is less than sterling in the workplace, it can make you feel frustrated, misconstrued and undervalued. If this is the case, there is still a lot you can do to improve your image.

Don't Make Excuses

One of the most important things is not to make excuses. This will make you seem defensive, which is never seen as a positive trait. Let the past go and focus on now. No one else will be likely to bring up the past, so let it lie. The second piece of this is not to blame others for their part in past transgressions. Give your coworkers the credit to see themselves who is typically the instigator in different situations.

Take Stock

Though others may not know the whole story during different situations, consider why you may have a bad image at work. Ask hard questions and try to be honest with yourself. Are you a team player who shares group chores like cleaning the break area and pitching in extra time, work, communal coffee, etc.? Do you respect the property of others such as clients, ideas or even lunches in the refrigerator? Do you come as early and stay as late as others? Do you participate in group functions after work or at lunch? Do you avoid gossiping about others? Are you typically positive or negative in your conversations? Do you admit when you are wrong? Is there something else that you do?

Consider How to Amend it

Once you have identified the ways in which you were partially responsible for your image, try to find ways to make this better. Focus more on turning the behavior around than making grand gestures to make up for it. Use this as a long-term strategy of personal betterment rather than pleasing others for a short time if you want it to work. This will make success more dependent upon personal fulfillment rather than the approval of others.

Seek Therapy

If you are having trouble emotionally with not fitting in at work, consider getting a third party level of support. A therapist can help you understand if the bad image is real or imagined and whether or not it is due to your actions or other factors. In some cases, working in a place with a sex, race or religious bias may be uncomfortable simply for who you are.

Know When to Move On

If you are the first woman in a traditionally male job or have another way in which you are a nontraditional employee, the solution to your issue may just be one of time and tolerance. However, you need to decide if this is the part you want to play in history or if you would rather just find a more accepting workplace. Both are perfectly acceptable viewpoints and are completely reasonable and responsible choices.

No matter the reason for your bad image at work, there is much you can do to identify and repair it. No matter the choices you make,

http://ezinearticles.com/?Improving-Your-Image-at-Work&id=9455424

You Are Responsible For Your Own Happiness

When you get the chance to, go and take a look at yourself in any mirror; what do you see? Who is it that is staring right back at you? Before I give an answer, I've seen a statement that is posted on a bathroom mirror at work that said, "You are responsible for your own safety." During the USPS training meeting, I reflected on this statement because it speaks a simple truth; we are responsible for our own actions, we cannot blame our failures on anyone else. Personal success and happiness works in the same way, it all starts with you. As I saw my reflection, I've seen that I have the power to not only keep myself safe at work, but to change my life temporally and spiritually. As you see yourself in the mirror, decide now on how you want to live the rest of your life. You are responsible for your own happiness.

Do not play the blame game. I remember a day when I asked one of my sons to put away the dishes and he said that he would do the job. A few minutes later, I would come walking back into the kitchen and see the dishwasher not emptied. I called my son into the kitchen and asked him why the dishes are not put away. His response was always the same, "Nobody came to help me." I told him bluntly that it is his duty and responsibility to put away the dishes. This went on for a few months, then, after all the constant reminders, he started putting the dishes away, without complaining or whining. Take full responsibility for your own actions; no one is going to do it for you.

Forget yourself and go to work. The greatest hindrance to our success is our own weaknesses. We can come up with all sorts of excuses and reasons of why we should not work or make a change in the way we live our life. Here are some examples:

1. I cannot cope with life if I do not have my can or bottle of beer.

2. Netflix has my favorite television show listed, time to pull a television show marathon. That 500 word article can wait.

3. This exercise program takes too long.

4. Why should I invent a product when I know that someone will build something that is bigger and better?

5. I am a horrible parent.

6. My family and peers will make fun of me.

7. I will never be good at anything.

8. I am too tired, stressed, or depressed to do anything.

My advice to you is to forget yourself and go to work. If you have a addiction problem, you can stop that habit cold-turkey. Some of you may reply, "Well, that's easy for you to say," my reply is, "Stop complaining and take full responsibility for your actions." Pornography, alcohol, drug, and any other forms of addictions can be stopped instantly; you just got to decide now of what's more important, your family and your own well-being or continue to be led captive by these little masters who destroy.

Go to work and strengthen your talents that will not only enrich your life, but the lives of other people. After you have looked in the mirror at yourself, decide now of who you want to become. You are responsible for your own happiness.

http://ezinearticles.com/?You-Are-Responsible-For-Your-Own-Happiness&id=9397259

7 Things You Need to Know About Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

Everybody knows how to say it. “You’ve got to get out of your comfort zone. That’s where the magic happens.”

But it’s always so easy to say it.

It’s the doing that is actually hard. Starting to get out of your comfort zone is easy. It’s what happens after that when it gets scary. That’s when you even question yourself if it was a good idea in the first place.

The comfort zone and outside of it is tricky. This what you need to know.

1) You’ve to raise your standards

Are you still doing the same old things? Are you practicing your craft within bearable range? Are you aiming for a goal you know you can achieve in the first place?

If you answered yes to any of the above, your standards are too low. And when they’re too low, it means it’s still too comfortable.

You’ve to raise your standards. You must do things out of the ordinary and aim for goals or milestones never thought achievable.

And it will never end. The standards need to always go up. Keep pushing yourself.

2) You’ve to change your lifestyle

Are you still eating the same old, fried crap?

Are you getting enough sleep? Or are you sleeping abnormal hours?

Are you just “going with the flow” hoping for something good to happen when deep down you aren’t really sure what you’re doing?

Drastic lifestyle changes must be made. It’s uncomfortable, but that’s the point. You can’t get great results if you think they should happen “somehow” and fit into your current lifestyle.

You only get the results when you work for it!

3) You’ve to get rid of some friends and then feel awkward around new people

That means to say, you need to weed out the toxic ones.

Regardless of the number of years you’ve known each other, the memories you have or that you think they’ve changed, it is a must to get rid of the negative influences in your life. Some friendships simply don’t last forever.

If you want to get out of your comfort zone, then start by surrounding yourself with new, positive people.

But be warned, it’s going to feel awkward at first. Imagine going to a new country and making new friends with the locals there.

You never know what you’re going to get next, but be strong and be positive. The right people who belong in your life will come along.

4) You’ve to be extremely honest and stop coming up with lame excuses

Excuses are the bane of everybody’s existence. They are plentiful and easy to use.

Now, are you always coming up with excuses? Are you doing it to avoid asking yourself the honest, but terrifying questions?

Great things happen outside of the comfort zone, but only to great people. And great people know themselves perfectly. They don’t create lame excuses to justify their shortcomings.

They only make changes to constantly improve.

5) You’ve got to be mentally prepared for things to not work out

Or not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

No venture or endeavor plays out like you thought it would or what others taught you.

Things WILL go wrong. You WILL fail. And you WILL hit a point where you feel like giving up.

That’s how it is outside the zone. The magic happens there, but well, so does a lot of nasty spells.

Stay strong and don’t give up. You already left the zone. It’d be a shame to come back.

6) You’ve to shield yourself from others’ lack of understanding

And it can be harsh. That is when people criticize, lambaste, tease or even attack you.

Mostly, they just don’t understand why you do what you do. They only understand the conventional path laid out for them. And when people do not dare to venture out, they attack what they don’t understand.

Ignore them. You’ve to be strong, alone. Keep working hard and eventually you’ll earn them respect and admiration.

7) You’ve to feel the fear and do it anyway

This is the entire point of getting out of your comfort zone.

You’re going to feel scared, anxious, afraid, filled with fear and even depressed. You’re going to want to turn around and feel safe again.

But the scary feelings only mean that you’re going in the right direction.

You can’t turn back. You’ve to get used to it. You’ve to grow up and harden yourself.

That is how you eventually align your new self with the rewards that will come for you.

That is how the magic works.

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/7-things-need-know-getting-comfort-zone/

Tear Down These 3 “Success Floodgates” To Flood Your Life With Success!

Do you realize how close you are to turning your dreams into your reality? If you could see how close you are to success, you’d be kicking yourself that you haven’t just reached out to grab it yet. The truth is, no matter how much you feel like a failure, success is literally waiting to flood your life. The only thing you have to do, is tear down the “Success Floodgates” holding it back. Here’s 3 “Success Floodgates” holding back your dreams:
1. Making Excuses
If we choose someone successful to look at as an example, like Steve Jobs, we’ll see that he never made excuses. When things went wrong, he didn’t blame other people. He didn’t refuse to accept responsibility for his own mistakes. He didn’t try to justify his poor choices. He didn’t make excuses because he understood that failure is going to happen. It’s not the end of the road – it’s one step on the road to success. In fact, the next Success Floodgate you have to tear down is…
2. Fearing Failure
Like I already said, failure happens. But it’s not a dead end – it’s a step forward. Too many people run into a tiny bit of failure, and they think they’re done forever. They give up immediately, never realizing how close they were to achieving their goals. The problem is, they take failure personally. They think it means something’s wrong with them. But the truth is, failure is part of the journey to success. That’s why it’s so important that you stop…
3. Beating Yourself Up
Think about it. Can you imagine Steve Jobs yelling at himself, saying that he’s dumb, or lazy, or any of the other million insults people tell themselves? Of course not! Successful people don’t beat themselves up. They understand that taking your anger out on yourself only pushes your goals farther away. They still get upset, but they channel those emotions into constructive energy. They use that energy as jet fuel to reach their goals. The truth about success is that you’re closer than you think. Sometimes all it takes is tearing down the floodgates, so you can let your dreams pour in. But there’s an even easier way to turn your dreams into your reality, and it doesn’t require hard work, stress, or struggle… You won’t believe the hidden connection that success experts recently discovered behind people like Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, and even Albert Einstein. Check out this free presentation on this new discovery that’s changing the way people look at success, taking “hard work” out of the equation: >>>Free Presentation: The “Brain Elevation” Secret to Success http://hbmut.thoughtele.hop.clickbank.net

Why You Need a No-Fault Relationship

... and how the happiest couples avoid a classic psychological trap.

It was the evening of Denise's 40th birthday, and she was furious. "How could he?" she thought, deeply upset that her husband Tom hadn't given her a birthday card "from" their eight-month-old daughter.

After all, she explained to Tom the next day, "You always sent me a card from the dog, so how could you not have known I was expecting one from the baby?"

Denise's distress, as funny as it may sound, is not unusual. We all give ourselves much more leeway than we give our mates.

To Denise, it wasn't enough that Tom was overwhelmed by the responsibilities that come with being a new father. It didn't occur to her that she hadn't fixed Tom's favorite dinner lately. But, really, what new mother has time? To her, her reasons are reasons, while Tom's were excuses.

In our heart of hearts, we want to be loved unreservedly. We figure that if our mate really understood us, he or she would forgive our trivial imperfections and focus on our many fabulous traits. Yet we often have a hard time giving that same unconditional affection to our partners.

The Most Common Error

Source: MJTH/Shutterstock

Psychologists call this the self-serving bias. It's hard to be objective about ourselves. When our mate does something we don't like, we attribute their behavior to their character, rather than trying to understand the factors that created the particular situation.

We know our own good motives, but our partner's are less believable. In other words, it's obvious why I messed up, but when you do it, you're thoughtless—and you obviously don't love me anymore.

To avoid falling into the self-serving bias trap, always assume goodwill. Take the example of Lacey and her husband Madison: He's been coming home late from work a lot lately, overflowing with regret and explanations of how he got bogged down at the office. Lacey wonders if maybe he values his job more than her and their kids.

She would do better to look at it differently: Madison is caught between the demands of a stressful job, which he's doing in order to support his family, and his desire to spend more time with them. If she'd stop blaming, she might begin to understand his point of view. And then perhaps they could brainstorm ways to improve things.

Some couples' arguments go on year after year: Jonathan sits in the driver's seat "like a dummy," insists his wife LeeAnn, who directs him wherever they go. But she has a choice: She could continue to get annoyed with him, or she might realize he just has a miserable sense of direction. 

Spouses sometimes complain that their mate never surprises them by planning an impromptu outing. Many of those same partners, though, never plan anything in advance. When you ask for what you want, you may get it quickly, but if you wait for a partner to plan your social life, you might end up with none. 

Is Anger Natural?

Say your partner has done something utterly infuriating—forgotten to give you a phone message, woken you up too early, spent money on themselves that you'd agreed would be saved, or something more major. Anger may be a natural response. But you can go back later and do your best to get into their frame of mind. And you'd be surprised how loving you may end up feeling once you "get it." And they may be so grateful for your efforts that they'll think twice before repeating the error. And maybe you won't feel anger as your first response the next time things don't go your way.

Even if you can only stop playing the blame game with supreme effort, you'll soon find yourselves feeling more warmly toward one another.

Let's say your partner gets home very late one night and forgets to take out the trash barrels that are set to be picked up in the morning. When the truck wakes you both in the morning, and he says, "I forgot to take out the barrels," what goes through your mind? The wise response is not to assume selfish sloth on his part. Optimally, you'd accept that your partner, often preoccupied, simply forgot. 

Our ways of thinking about why those we love behave in certain ways are often just plain wrong. When Sally asks Lew to pick up some coffee when he's out getting groceries and he brings back "the wrong kind," she is tempted to say, "How could you not know that I never buy this flavor? You never pay attention to anything I say or do." Whereas Lew spent a long time in front of the coffee selections, finally opting to buy the most expensive type, hoping to please his spouse.   

By assuming goodwill, you can cut out 95 percent of your conflicts. When you know in your gut that those who love you are acting with all good intentions, misunderstandings diminish dramatically. Remember: The person who has pledged eternal love to you can have a bad day and make mistakes. Just like you. 

4 Ways to Make It Work for You

Here are four more ways to make the no-fault solution work in your own relationship:

1. Recognize that if you don't know what was in your mate's mind, you don't know the whole story. Train yourself to see things through his or her eyes. Ask, "If things were to go your way, what would that look like?" Don't try to argue them out of their point of view—the purpose is understanding. Ask, "If I could read your mind about this, what would I learn?"
2. When you're upset by something your mate does, ask yourself whether they meant their actions to have the effect they had on you.
3. Role-play the conflict, with each of you pretending to be the other. Try to put yourself in your partner's mind when you act out their role, verbalizing what you're feeling. Did they get close to how you were thinking? Did you get close to their mental state?
4. Write down everything that drives you mad about your spouse. Then create a list of your own potentially annoying habits as you imagine your spouse would write it. Learn anything?

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/creating-in-flow/201512/why-you-need-no-fault-relationship