Stressed Out? Here Are Three Ways to Improve Your Coping Skills

Stress... Stress... and more Stress!

Sometimes it seems as though daily life amounts to little more than contending with one crisis after another. Or maybe your stress is about all those little niggling irritations that never go away - the traffic, the annoying coworker, the backlog of household chores and home repairs. If you feel overwhelmed by stress, this article is for you.

I've noticed in my years as a counselor, speaker, and author that stress management really encompasses three types of coping skills:

• Palliative Coping Skills - skills that restore your equanimity.

• Instrumental Coping Skills - skills that solve problems,

• Adaptive Coping Skills - skills in which you develop a new response.

To cope effectively with the stress life throws at you, you need all three for maximum flexibility and resilience. Let me describe each concept.

Palliative Coping Skills

Palliative coping skills are somewhat passive. They don't directly change external circumstances, but they do reduce stress because they calm the central nervous system, helping us to relax, feel peaceful, and remain healthier.

One example is Progressive Relaxation. In Progressive Relaxation, you take time out. You lean back or lie down and purposely, consciously, relax each part of your body.

You could also consider meditation. One of the most popular forms is Mindfulness Meditation, inspired by Buddhist teachings. You sit quietly to simply be aware of your environment, or your thoughts, or your physical sensations and breathing. You make no opinions or judgments. You take the role of an observer who notices, with no desire to change anything -accepting things as they are for now.

Learn about Mindfulness Meditation from books and audio recordings by Jon Kabat-Zinn, the leading expert. He defines mindfulness as "... the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally, to the unfolding of experience moment by moment."

Kabat-Zinn founded the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center. There, he taught hospital patients how to practice Mindfulness Meditation to cope with a range of chronic medical conditions. His studies showed that after eight weeks of daily meditation, these patients reported reduced pain, less depression, accelerated healing, improved relationships, and a better sense of well-being.

In The Mindful Brain, psychiatrist Daniel Siegel cited a host of studies demonstrating that long-term meditative practice bestows these benefits:

• Changes connections in the brain, with increased thickness in parts of the brain that regulate physical processes, balance emotions, modulate fear, and support insight and empathy.

• Enhances cognitive flexibility and reduces impulsivity.

• Promotes behavioral flexibility.

• Improves the capacity to regulate emotions.

• Improves thinking and reduces negativity.

• Promotes healing, immune response, and a general sense of physical well-being.

• Improves relationships, because of enhanced empathy and the ability to interpret nonverbal emotional signals from others.

• Reduces symptoms of depression, personality disorders, substance abuse, obsessive behaviors, eating disorders, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress.

• Enhances resilience in the face of difficulty.

Other candidates for palliative coping might be:

• Yoga or Tai Chi

• Listening to soothing music

• Reading novels or poetry

• Talking walks in natural settings

• Hobbies such as painting, playing an instrument, or gardening

• Spending quality time with a pet

• Singing in a chorus

• Exercise

• Maintaining a gratitude journal

Palliative coping skills don't fix the situation that causes your stress. Instead they make you stronger and more resilient through activities that are soothing, relaxing, and restorative.

Instrumental Coping Skills

With instrumental coping skills, you take action to change the source of your stress. You negotiate or eliminate whatever is bugging you. Sometimes changing a stressful situation requires a single one-time action. Sometimes the new behavior is one you must repeat and maintain over time.

With complicated circumstances, such as finances, health issues, or interpersonal relationships, single-step solutions do not always work. That's where detailed problem-solving comes in. Here are the steps for detailed problem-solving.

1. Identify the problem that is causing your stress.

2. Define the result you want.

3. Consider alternative strategies that will bring about the result you want.

4. Evaluate and compare the various strategies. Choose the best one - the one that offers the most advantages with the fewest drawbacks.

5. Make a plan. Define the steps involved and when you can implement each one. Identify the resources you'll need: people, finances, time, expert advice, tools, or equipment.

6. Access your resources and take action. Follow through and stay with the plan.

7. Monitor your progress. Notice whether things are going in the desired direction.

8. Modify the plan as needed.

9. Stop when you have accomplished results; or continue action as needed.

This problem-solving method is ideal for teams and families too, not just individuals.When you realize that most complex problems are not solved overnight, you will develop "next step" thinking. This means you eliminate or resolve the problem one small step at a time.

Adaptive Coping Skills

With Adaptive Coping skills you change your internal response so that your thoughts, emotions, physiology and possibly your behavior are better adapted to the circumstances. You develop a more resourceful response to situations that you have typically found difficult or challenging.

In other words, you meet the challenge; rise to the occasion. You replace nervousness with confidence. You replace anger with patience. How do you do that? Neuro-Linguistic Programming teaches a process called anchoring. It's a strategy of replacing a problematic mind-body state with one that is more resourceful. Here it is in a few quick steps.

1. Identify the stressful situation where you feel anxious, or short-tempered, etc.

2. Identify the response you would rather have in that situation. Example: You'd rather have confidence instead of anxiety.

3. Identify some other activity or situation in your life where you do respond in your desired manner. Choose some circumstance in which you typically feel confident, competent or patient, for instance.

4. Immerse yourself in a memory of your desired response. Repeat this step until you easily access that state.

5. While accessing the desired response, mentally rehearse how you now will respond to the situation that was the source of your difficulty.

This is what solution-oriented thinking is all about. It's changing the focus from the problem to the solution. Studies show that mental rehearsal is essential to lasting behavioral change. World-class athletes use it to hone their skills. You can do it too.

Imagine feeling poised while delivering a speech. Imagine feeling confident and sincere when asking that special someone out for a date. Consider that you could replace distraction with concentration, confusion with curiosity, and timidity with assertiveness.

All Three Skills are Important

All three types of coping skills are important. With palliative coping skills, you can maintain equanimity in meeting the often unpleasant circumstances of daily life. With instrumental coping skills, you will take action to eliminate the source of your stress or discomfort. With adaptive coping skills, you will expand your flexibility to meet various challenges that could improve your health, your relationships, and your career. Adaptive coping skills will help you rise to the occasion, instead of engaging in avoidance behaviors.

Sometimes it isn't easy to develop a reliable routine of say, meditating or writing in a gratitude journal. It might be difficult to get past heavy-duty emotions so that you can think clearly enough to engage in effective problem-solving or in developing a new, adaptive response.

If developing these skills seem difficult, it could be to your advantage to consult a coach, mentor, or counselor who can help you prepare and plan, walk you through the steps, monitor your progress, and hold you accountable for the results. Such expert guidance might be just the push you need to get past such sticking points and implement effective stress management.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Stressed-Out?-Here-Are-Three-Ways-to-Improve-Your-Coping-Skills&id=9882421

Zentangle - The Art of Untangling a Tangled Mind

"Are you stressed all the time?"

"Do you need to let out your stress and relax?"

"Is there a need to improve hand/eye coordination?"

All of these and much more can be done through the Zentangle method. The Zentangle Method is an easy-to-learn, relaxing and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. This method can be used by anyone who knows how to write their name. It helps increase focus and creativity and provides artistic satisfaction with an increased sense of personal well-being.

Zentangling is a formalized process that was created by Rick Roberts and Mary Thomas. It is a specific way to draw images, most often in black pen on white paper. The traditional practice of Zentangling is done on 3 1/2" inch square tiles made of special paper, but it can be done on any paper cut into squares or can be done on larger paper as well. The process of Zentangling may look very intricate but it is a very simple pathway to relaxation and focus. It is also called doodling with a purpose. Practitioners of this art form have given several benefits including calming an anxious mind, increasing self-confidence and creating moment to moment awareness in a similar way as mindfulness meditation.

How to create a Zentangle?

To create a Zentangle you begin with a pencilled frame and then draw a "string" through the frame to divide the box into sections. In each section you draw a repetitive pattern, called a "tangle." The meditation comes both in the rhythmic drawing and in reflecting on your work afterward. Some of the characteristics of the Zentangle method are: Deliberate Stroke: In the Zentangle way, each stroke is done consciously and deliberately. When we draw each stroke deliberately, we realized that how these insignificant strokes contribute to an overall pattern.

Deliberate Focus: When deliberate strokes are being made, the attention is on the stroke and not on the final product that will be made. So this leads to increased focus on the strokes being made and not thinking about what the final pattern will look like.

Unknown Outcomes: The Zentangle method allows each person to discover new possibilities that is not anticipated when we begin with the art.

Abstract: A Zentangle creation is meant to be non-representative with no up or down. Since it is not a picture of something, creators need not be worried about whether they can draw a hand or a duck. It is just the different strokes that form a pattern and finally an abstract picture.

No Eraser: There is no eraser in life and there is no eraser in a Zentangle kit. However, in creating Zentangle art, one discovers that the apparent mistakes made can be foundations to new patterns and take one to unknown and new directions.

Gratitude: Gratitude is the foundation of zentangle art. Whether it is appreciating the texture of these wonderful paper tiles, becoming aware of the patterned beauty around us or thankful for the opportunity to put pen to paper, we always return to gratitude.

Inspirational: The Zentangle Method's non-verbal language of patterns and proportions can open doors to insights which seemed locked before. Creating in a Zentangle way opens those doors, not because they were locked, but because those doors swing on non-verbal hinges. When you create in a Zentangle way you can enter a state of relaxed focus in which intuitive insights flow freely.

Ceremonial: Like in the Japanese tea ceremony, when zentangle art is being created, the person creates a personal environment of peace and harmony.

Portable: A Zentangle tile is 3 1/2 inches (89 mm) square. A Zentangle tile is designed to be completed in one sitting. A tile can be finished in as little as 15 minutes. Once the tile is completed, a sense of accomplishment occurs and more tiles can be completed in less time.

BENEFITS OF THE ZENTANGLE METHOD:

Zentangle Method is being used by many people for different objectives. Some of the benefits that people have experienced by practicing this method are:

• Relaxation

• Simple and quick access to mindfulness

• Non-verbal journaling

• Insomnia (improved sleep by creating Zentangle art before sleep)

• Self - Esteem

• Inspiration

• Panic attacks

• Modify Behaviour

• Being part of supportive community

• Nurture and develop creative abilities

• Relieve stress

• Improve hand/eye coordination

• Develop/rehabilitate fine motor skills

• Team building and group focus

• Therapy

• Anger management

• Addiction therapy tool

• Diet aide

• Increase attention span and ability to concentrate

• Home schooling

• Brainstorming

• Problem solving

• Design Inspiration

• Stretching and warm up for artists.

Personal Experience of practicing Zentangle art:

My personal zentangle story began in 2015 when a surgery to my ankle had me on bed rest for 6 weeks. As they say "an idle mind is a devil's workshop", the bed rest and immovability had my mind getting unwanted thoughts that needed to be put to rest. Since I was immovable and could not do much, I started exploring the internet for something that I could do while I am on bed rest. That's when I chanced upon the Zentangle art. I first started reading about it and was intrigued to try it. So one step at a time, I started trying out tangles from the internet and felt very relaxed when doing it. I became so involved with this art form and realized that even a day without doing the art made me feel like I was missing out on something. Though I was out of bed rest and working along with taking care of my family, I did not stop doing the art as it gave me peace and helped me relax and have some time for myself. On further research, I found out that only certified teachers can teach the art. So I started looking out for a certified teacher and took a class with her after one year of practicing the art form. The class was a huge learning for me on the nuances of doing the art. It helped me better understand the art form and what benefits it can provide to me.

Practicing the art has helped me in the following ways:

• Relax my mind

• Anger management

• Reduce mental stress

• Live in the moment

• Not think about what has happened or worry about the future.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Zentangle---The-Art-of-Untangling-a-Tangled-Mind&id=9824280

What To Do When You Are Feeling Uneasy

It's normal to feel uneasy from time to time. While you are feeling low, nothing much happens.Too much depression might lead to stress disorders. Sometimes, it needs medical attention which can have unwanted side effects and dependence. But there are also subtle ways to get rid of that gnawing and uncomfortable feeling of uneasiness.

When you are uneasy, find a place to be alone and reflect. When you are with family and friends, be careful with your words; you might regret later. Your thoughtless choice of words might lead to irreconcilable disputes with those people who are closest to you. Your proactive approach might not be well-taken and that you will need to apologize to regain your relationship.

If possible avoid being with the company of others. Try to work alone to avoid time-wasting discussions or arguments. Settle yourself in a quiet place where you can reflect. Exercising mindful meditation can be more powerful than general stress management techniques. Just sit quietly and focus. Meditation is found to have profound effects on your anxiety levels.

Allow your body to have lots of quiet time and sleep to thwart from feeling unnecessary tension. When you relax, all the negative energies will subside. Allow happy thoughts to dominate your mind. Never expect too much from everyone. It can only increase your anxiety.

Physical exercise helps you deal with your emotions. Regular exercise improves mood, sleep patterns, relieves stress and improve self-esteem. There are many types of exercise you can choose from. One is through dancing. You can express what you feel without saying it. Taking a quick walk might also be a helpful solution.

Drinking more coffee can easily get you nervous. Try to eliminate or lessen this habit. Too much caffeine consumption can actually create anxiety in situations where you wouldn't normally be anxious. It can also trigger insomnia; thereby increasing your uneasiness.

A little anxiety is fine, as long as you know how to handle your feelings. But long-term anxiety may cause serious health problems. It can also affect your daily life and your relationships.

The best way to deal when you are feeling down is to figure out the underlying cause of your emotion. The constant pressures of having financial freedom can tire you. Try to change your mindset. Stop thinking too much for a moment and do your best to achieve your goals one at a time.

Uneasiness stems from uncertainty. We worry too much. So, try redirecting your frame of mind to something more productive to reduce your stress.

https://ezinearticles.com/?What-To-Do-When-You-Are-Feeling-Uneasy&id=9841189

Get The Life You Want By Accepting That How To Create Miracles Is In Your Power

Have you truly witnessed any miracles in your life? Or possibly I should ask a much stronger concern:

Are miracles real?

Is it possible for you to create miracles as the secret to getting what you want.

Let's consider, are miracles real?

Whatever your answer is to either of these questions, I can tell you why miracles can happen, not magic, and are for real as the secret to getting what you want while in this world.

The Course in Miracles states, "Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them."

I have seen a great deal of miracles in my own life, and I see real miracles practically every day.

Would not that be a true miracle if you are considering improving your health, and experienced, say, the power of mindfulness meditation come into your life and become a great friend and teacher?

Would not that be a wonderful miracle if you are thinking of enhancing your spiritual life, and you suddenly discovered a book by a spiritual master who thinks just like you do?

Would not that be the miracle if you wish to enhance your financial life, and a retired multi-millionaire living on the other end of the world contacted you and was willing to teach you his/her success strategies?

Would not that be the miracle as the secret to getting what you want when you want to do a joint business endeavor, and someone from out of nowhere calls you and turns out together you make one of the very best joint ventures ever?

Would not that be the miracle to get the life you want when you think about a service for an issue, and a brilliant concept unexpectedly hits you?

True miracles happen all over the globe every day, and the secret to getting what you want through real miracles can happen to you.

And the good news is you can intentionally create true miracles in your life, and you don't need to do much work.

All it takes is a couple of brand-new ideas and your inner-awareness.

By putting these powerful brand-new thoughts into your awareness, and then reflecting it into your exterior world, you are actually transforming your life by way of the miracle.

The Course in Miracles further teaches, "Miracles are natural. When they do not occur something has gone wrong."

I am going to give you a quick food-for-thought lesson on the secret to getting what you want while here on earth, that you can use for how to create miracles in your life.

It begins with opening your mind and going within to your inner-awareness.

Everything you desire is already here:.

Einstein had spent years to prove something to the world, "Time does not exist, it only exists as an illusion in a human's mind".

The other day is the same as today and it is the exact same as tomorrow if time does not exist. There is only one time that is now.

If time does not exist, then everything that potentially exists will be existing here.

Envision you are taking a trip from point A to point B, however it takes no time at all since time doesn't exist. There is no range; they both exist at the very same place and at the exact same time.

Everything that can perhaps exist, exists here, consisting of the picture you are holding in your mind.

The things you envision in your mind are absolutely nothing artificial, it is as real as your arms and legs.

Researchers explain the world as a world of possibility, everything in this world exists as a probability, and this is why miracles can happen.

The portrait you paint in your mind exists as a probability that is already in quantum consciousness waiting to take shape and material form.

It's how to create miracles. How to create miracles is as basic as that, select your own picture, and the universe will supply the result you want.

Here is something I'm asking you to do after you're finished contemplating this lesson:.

Pick something you actually desire, form a visual, a photo, if you will, firmly in your mind, and tell yourself that it is currently here, and accept it as a fact.

Do this quite a few times throughout the day and you will get addicted to it, and before you know it the reality of the secret to getting what you want will be real in this world.

See how quickly you may learn how to create miracles in your life.

To the miracle in your daily life!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Get-The-Life-You-Want-By-Accepting-That-How-To-Create-Miracles-Is-In-Your-Power&id=9825612

Practise Equanimity

Equanimity is a wonderful quality, a spaciousness and balance of heart. And it can be yours with a bit of practise and patience.

The skill of equanimity depends upon the ability to detach from emotions and thoughts. One place to start is with the belief that negative emotional states are to some degree inevitable. Depression, anxiety, fear, jealousy, hatred, anger, and other painful emotions are natural and human so you can expect them sooner or later.

By accepting this fact and understanding the nature of emotions, you will continue to change your relationship to your emotions. You will not be able to eliminate negative emotions, painful memories or harmful thoughts but you can change your relationship to them.

This is particularly important for people who suffer from strong emotional reactions and need to be able to tolerate painful feelings in order to pursue the rewards of long-term goals.

If you are at war with your thoughts and feelings all the time and you are fighting life events and problems such as a living with a chronic illness, mindfulness meditation is a way to step out of the battle. We need to approach these difficult situations and feelings instead of avoiding them.

This is so much the life of an individual with a chronic condition. We live with a lot of stress because of all the pain and disability that we endure.

So, equanimity is a way for us to reconceptualise our reality with our illness so that we can live well with chronic illness. And this can really help us to cope and to be the best that we can.

The capacity to recognize all thoughts as transient mental events rather than decisive descriptions of reality is crucial to relieving suffering. The capacity to observe fearful thoughts and feelings in a non-reactive way makes freedom of choice possible. The ability to observe in a non-reactive way is a way to experience peace and mental stability that reactivity does not allow.

Researchers have found that if individuals can change their relationship to their thoughts and feelings then healthy thoughts and feelings are able to follow naturally. The individuals who tried to practise equanimity learned the process of assuming a de-centered observing position in relation to their negative thoughts.

The goal is to recognize the earliest sign of a negative mood or thought and apply de-centering skills. Decentering is a three step process that involves learning to recognize, observe and detach from negative thoughts. To be able to do this regularly with negative thoughts, the chronically-ill individual must first learn to decenter from bodily sensations, ordinary thoughts, and common feelings through mindfulness meditation.

You can visualize your mind as an open sky with thoughts and emotional experiences as transient phenomenon like clouds which pass through but do not become permanent structures in the expanse of the sky.

You can have this kind of freedom of thought and emotion too with some practise, effort, patience and willingness to change your mindset. Being free from negative emotions and feelings is really within your reach.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Practise-Equanimity&id=9672906

6 Things You Didn’t Know About Insomnia and How to Treat It

   

Waking up on the right side of the bed can be tough…if you only fell asleep 30 minutes ago. We all know what it feels like to toss and turn throughout the night but for nearly 10 percent of Americans, insomnia is a chronic problem — lasting a month or longer, and characterized by difficulty falling or staying asleep.

Untreated insomnia can be a dangerous issue, too, says Steven Feinsilver, M.D., director of the Center for Sleep Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. Even if you’re not nodding off behind the wheel, a consistent lack of sleep can still contribute to headaches,back pain, irritability, lowered immunity and other health problems, he says. “People with poor sleep quality have a higher risk of everything from depression to high blood pressure to early death.”

Sleep is a powerful biological drive and if you don’t mess it up, it tends to work.

That doesn’t mean that sleepless sufferers are doomed. Talking to your doctor can help you determine the root cause of your disorder and the best treatment to get you back on schedule. (Hint: It’s probably not a pill!) But before you make an appointment, here’s what you should know about insomnia.

1. You may be predisposed.

“Some people are simply better at shutting their brains off at night,” says Feinsilver. Those who aren’t naturally good sleepers could have a biological reason as to why they’re not (having to do with unique brain chemicals, perhaps). They could also have grown up with bad “sleep hygiene” — never having a regular schedule or a consistent bedtime routine, for example.

Even if you are prone to insomnia, though, treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy(CBT) can help retrain your brain. “Sleep is a powerful biological drive and if you don’t mess it up, it tends to work,” says Feinsilver. “And if it does get messed up, it’s usually fairly easy to fix once we pinpoint what the patient is doing wrong.”

2. Look out for the “two p’s.”

When a person who has always slept well suddenly has trouble falling or staying asleep, doctors look for two factors, says Feinsilver: The precipitating cause and the perpetuating cause. The former is a stressful event, good or bad, that creates an initial disruption of sleep. The latter is the reason insomnia continues, even after that stressful event has passed.

Precipitating causes can be anything from an upcoming test you’re worried about and need to study for to planning a wedding. The biggest perpetuator, says Feinsilver, is behavior — for instance, not going to bed and getting up at the same time every day.

3. It’s linked with depression.

“Depression can cause bad sleep and bad sleep can cause depression; it’s often hard to tell which one comes first,” says Feinsilver. A recent Australian study found that insomnia was linked to depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and panic disorder in teenagers, and the study authors note that “having insomnia in addition to anxiety or depression can further intensify the problems being experienced with each individual disorder.”  Likewise, a 2013 Canadian study found that treating the two conditions simultaneously can improve symptoms of both.

4. Popping pills won’t get you far.

If you want to kick insomnia for good, medication isn’t the answer. (Sleeping pills may help jump-start your slumber party, but their effects can wear off if they’re used long-term.) What’s really important is following the rules for good sleep, says Feinsilver. Keep your bedroom dark and cool; avoid caffeine up to 12 hours before bed; go to bed at the same time every night; and don’t sleep in more than an hour on the weekends — even if you broke the previous rule and stayed out late the night before. “You’re better off getting up at your regular time and taking a nap midday to make up for some of that lost sleep,” he says.

And about those naps: They can be very helpful for people who don’t get seven or eight hours of sleep at night. But keep them to an hour or less, and don’t take them within six hours of your bedtime. Plus, if your doctor recommends sleep restriction therapy (which means spending only a set number of hours in bed, whether you sleep or not), you’ll want to avoid crawling under the covers during the daytime entirely.

5. Kitchen “cures” may or may not help.

A recent Louisiana State University study found that drinking tart cherry juice before bed improved insomnia symptoms in older adults, and previous research has suggested that herbal remedies, like chamomile tea, may help as well.

Feinsilver says these probably won’t hurt, but believes that much of their benefit comes from the placebo effect. “That’s not to say they won’t work or that I’m against them,” he adds. “If drinking something seems to help you fall asleep, I’m all in favor of it.”

Sometimes, the calming herbs in drinks and teas can help slow your mind and give you that sleepy feeling. (Even just hot tea or milk sometimes works for individuals.) Give it a try and see if it’s right for you.

6. Attention can make it worse.

Doctors sometimes ask their insomnia patients to keep sleep diaries in order to help identify lifestyle factors keeping them awake, but Feinsilver advises against logging and analyzing your slumber for an extended period of time. “The more you think about it, the harder it is to fall asleep,” he explains. “The best thing you can do is try to ignore it and take your mind off it.”

One way to shut out the worry could be through meditation: In a recent study from Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, insomniacs who practiced mindful meditation for eight weeks reported better sleep and higher remission rates than those who didn’t.

http://dailyburn.com/life/lifestyle/insomnia-causes-treatment/