Who Looks After You?

Are you one of those people who everyone turns to in a crisis? You're calm, confident, together and never seem to flap under pressure. People trust that when they turn to you for answers you'll be there for them, ready to help, able to find solutions to problems, all the while providing reassurance and comfort.

But what about you? Who looks after you on your tough days and gives you the comfort and support you sometimes need?

- Would people be incredulous to discover that you sometimes have down days? Perhaps you come across as someone who never needs anything, as a person who doesn't have 'off' days. Do you always remain calm under pressure, stay even-tempered when things go wrong or don't go to plan, able to quietly assess what needs to happen next? There are no histrionics, just a measured assessment of what's going on and what needs to happen to put things right again. So, people understandably assume that you're fine, relaxed and coping well.

- Might it be that you're a very private person and prefer for people not to see a vulnerable side to your personality, fearing that you could appear weak or unable to cope? In reality, many people are fine, even happy to see an occasional vulnerability in someone they respect. It humanises them and gives others an opportunity to reciprocate and be helpful in return.

- Ask yourself if you present an, 'I'm tough, I'm coping, leave me alone', almost aggressive front at times of crisis. If you become angry, hostile or belligerent when things go wrong, pushing potential help away, others may quickly learn to leave you to sort things out alone. It's important to be gracious and respectful when people offer help. Be polite and acknowledge their efforts with a 'thank you', even if you choose to decline.

- Remember, though, that doing everything yourself is not always the most efficient way to function. There are bound to be areas where you could delegate tasks that others are better equipped to do, so enabling your time to be used more effectively. Also, letting others share the load helps them feel valued, develop their confidence and skills whilst potentially allowing you to focus elsewhere and maybe even have time off for fun and recharging your batteries.

- In a business scenario there are many ways that you could let others look after you. Delegating mundane tasks frees your time to be used more productively, as does letting others with greater expertise take care of the more specialised tasks like accounts, web design, PR and advertising. Doing this maximises opportunities for the best outcomes. Even hiring domestic help with cleaning, gardening, ironing is often money well spent, ensuring that your home is well looked after, feels good and leaves you with time and space to comfortably relax.

- Learn to let others know that you appreciate their looking after you. Acknowledge the kindnesses; the bath run for you after a tough day at work, the drink made for you without being asked, the meal ready for you, the car washed or filled with petrol. Your being appreciative encourages others to look after you. It shows that you value their thoughtfulness and attention. Changing your approach may take a little time to filter through, but it's worth it and can gradually introduce a more balanced dynamic to the relationship.

- But, ultimately looking after you has to start with you. Many of us learn in childhood to expect others to automatically take care of us, look after our health, education, give us guidance and provide structure to our lives. As we get older we need to recognise the importance of monitoring our own wellbeing, take responsibility for our exercise, nutrition, hydration levels, and healthy sleep patterns. Our mental and emotional wellbeing is also important, where we learn to regularly schedule breaks, manage stress and support our commitment to positive relationships.

When you demonstrate that you're worth caring for and expect to be treated well, people will respond to your level of confidence. Being appropriately assertive, positive about yourself and your efforts, okay about saying 'no' sometimes, others will be influenced by your lead. You'll find that they'll then automatically invest more in the relationship and be happy to look after you, as they appreciate you more and more.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Who-Looks-After-You?&id=10404134

8 Reasons to Stop Worrying Now

Worrying...

1. Consumes energy. Devote all that energy to yourself instead of investing in creating and accumulating adrenaline and cortisol.
2. Results in sleeping problems. You need the rest to face whatever it is that really ends up happening in the future.
3. Focuses on the future. Instead of living here, today, you're so focused on the future that you have no time to enjoy the now.
4. The future is unknown. Therefore, you're focused on something that doesn't exist. How many times did you worry about something that never ended up happening, at least the way you feared it would?
5. Consumes time. You spend many hours worrying. By the time you manage to return to something that is not worrying you, a lot of time has elapsed; time that could have been used more productively or to have more fun.
6. Blocks you. When you try to redirect your mind to something else, your mind goes back to the issue that's worrying you over and over again, thus blocking you from doing anything else.
7. Distracts you. By diverting your attention from other things, you can't fully focus on them. The issue that worries you distracts you from other, more immediate topics.
8. Produces anxiety. Focusing on something that has no solution (and nothing in the future really does) only leads to increased levels of anxiety from a lack of resolution and uncertainty.

Next time you find yourself worrying over something, ask yourself what you're achieving. Isn't there anything else you'd rather be doing or thinking about?

If you really need to PLAN, there are better ways of doing it. These are a few of the tips I recommend you consider when planning in order to stop worrying:

1. Set a goal. What is it that you need to plan? What will you make you feel you actually have a plan? Define what your real objective is and what steps you're going to take to reach it.
2. Set your limits. What level of detail do you need to plan? How much improvisation and adaptation will you allow yourself? One can plan and plan and plan, always looking to define more and more details. But there comes a time in which that level of detail is not realistic anymore, as chances are that our plans will not happen the way we're imagining. So, how far into the details do you want to go?
3. Allocate a fixed amount of time. What is the maximum time you're giving yourself to plan this? Set a fixed time and don't go over that time, even if you didn't finish your plan. If more time is needed, decide when you will work on your plan again, and for how long. In between working times, no planning is allowed. You will only plan during those pre-assigned times.
4. Then relax. Once you have a plan, accept that life might change it. After all, we can't look into the future and life has this habit of surprising us... But for now, you do have a plan. It's the best plan you could make. Follow the steps you planned and allow yourself a little improvisation on the way. The rest of the time, just relax. Whenever worrying thoughts come to your mind again, remind yourself that you already have a plan.

Enjoy life... ALL of it,

Humanology

https://ezinearticles.com/?8-Reasons-to-Stop-Worrying-Now&id=9927487