Hooked On A Bad Feeling

A woman walked into the beauty salon, sat down, looked in the mirror and said, 'You know, some days I wake up, look in the mirror and just want to kill it with a broom.' She imagined the hairdresser saw what she saw. One was looking through the eyes of fear, the other looking for possibilities. Maybe you are one of the people who say, 'Every day I wake up, look in the mirror and I'm still fat, still ugly,' or like the woman who demanded a refund from a makeup seminar because, 'You promised to make me beautiful and I'm still ugly!'

Sometimes the people around us help us embrace bad feelings about ourselves. Being bullied, sibling rivalry and abusive relationships, including friendships, are the most common causes of this. Building good strong emotions about ourselves is a work in progress; it requires being vigilant and ever aware when we are slipping into a negative state of mind about who we are.

Any observer knows when we are afflicted with this. Feeling bad about ourselves causes our shoulders to droop. We hold our head down to avoid eye contact, sure that we will find repulsion in the eyes of those around us. We rarely smile leaving facial muscles lax; this actually alters our appearance. Many times we are driven to excesses to cover false perceptions. We either wear too much makeup or none because we imagine it doesn't matter. Hair colors may vary like the seasons while clothing choices run the gamut from looking like an unmade bed to dressing for a cocktail party at 9:00 AM. All are inappropriate and attract the very attitudes we are trying to avoid. Worse, people who are afflicted with this rarely are hired for really good positions and attract bad partners who tend to further abuse them. This reinforces the original fear based bad feelings. It leaves one feeling like a caged rat running on a wheel, going nowhere, trying to escape from passersby who stop to stare. There now, we have consigned ourselves to a life of mediocrity, a hum drum existence where we finally end up with a partner and maybe a friend whom we 'go along to get along' with.

How can one escape this self-inflicted, caged existence?

1) Find someone you truly love; never accept treatment from anyone that you would not accept for that person. You are learning to treat yourself lovingly. 

2) There is a deserve-ability issue here. You can only have what you believe you deserve. Discard the reasons why you may not deserve anything you want. Get out of your own way. You are leaning against the door where it is delivered. 

3) Believe you are welcome; feeling welcome is essential to feeling good about any situation. If anyone says you are not welcome, cross them off; they are beneath the new you. 

4) Search online for the best hairstyle for your face shape, the correct colors for your skin type and the most flattering style of clothes for your body type. Forget finding someone who looks like you may want to look. You want to look and be the best you can be. 

5) Stand in front of a mirror with a piece of paper. Cover each of your features and find the best one. Highlight that one. 

6) Find a wall and back into it; square your shoulders. Now drop your shoulders to a natural position so you will not appear to have your back up. Get a book and a pair of heels. Place the book on your head and walk across the room until you have mastered walking with it on your head. Now you can confidently look others in the eye. 

7) Your consciousness responds to the things you say and believe. Never again make a disparaging comment about yourself. It does not know when you are joking. What you say and believe will be delivered. Believe in and speak words about the you that you want to be. 

8) Find something you love to do and get involved in it. Join something, read something or do something different at least once a month. You are creating new good habits. 

9) Find something to laugh at, even if it is an online video. Practice smiling and finding joy. 

10) Accept that you are more than a human being; you are a human becoming.

All of these things teach you to be discerning, about your own life and situations around you. If you are uncertain about anything, your first impression is the most correct. Don't inject anything to alter it. Learn to trust your own judgment, to laugh with others instead of imagining they are laughing at you and most of all, learn to laugh at yourself, These are all joyful endeavors. You are unique. Everyone is beautiful in some way. You have a purpose. You are entitled to happiness. You must participate in your own success. None of these things are as difficult as living in the shadow of your own fears.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Hooked-On-A-Bad-Feeling&id=9600684

Forgiveness - The Eraser of Anger

Forgiveness really is the eraser of guilt and anger. It is the key that opens the shackles of the past and permits us to move on with our life in a freer, far lighter way. Once we accept this we can start the process of healing that each of us deserve.

Keep these approaches in mind as you reflect and move along on your journey of forgiveness:

-- Your ultimate aim is to release the hurt and the anger that is feeding the pain. Just as you can recover from a painful thorn in your finger by pulling it out, so you can recover from any painful experience by moving forward. When it no longer has a place deep in your heart and mind, it can no longer fester, and the hurt can at last come to an end. Choosing to forgive means you allow those bad feelings to leave your life once and for all.

-- It's critical to replace bad feelings with neutral ones. When the facts remain unchanged, but those facts no longer have the ability to hurt, then you can move on from the past. You transform from being a victim and become the victor. You are human, and so you can be hurt. Human beings really are resilient, and because you are human you can heal - from a love betrayal or awful, unfair experiences in your life. If you're still reacting, then you're still stuck in some kind of emotional mud. Through forgiveness you can be free of those toxic reactions.

-- Humor is a wonder of healing. If you are able to smile about the love that let you down, or joke about the years you fought with a sibling, family member, or lover then you trade pain for a different emotion. That heavy load is shifted, substituted by a newfound lighter feeling that can even put a spring in your step. The healing power of forgiveness springs from our ability to move on from our anger and resentment. These emotions don't really hurt those ones who have hurt us, but they certainly do hurt us. Once we forgive we're actually protecting ourselves; we clear our mind, our emotions, and a great deal of our time. Focusing on more empowering and positive areas liberates and distances us from the event or person who has hurt us.

Forgiveness removes us from harm's way. As far as we continue to dwell on and concentrate on hurt in the past, continually reacting to the damage somebody has created, we remain emotionally stuck with that person and with what they have done. Forgiveness breaks the chains that lock. With it we take a huge step forward with our lives, releasing the negativity and shielding ourself from toxic emotional involvement.

-- Rehashing a hurtful experience over and again keeps it fresh in the mind, creating mental and emotional upset. Should the topic arise in conversation, it's much better to respond with: 'I'm choosing not to focus on that experience. I'm allowing it to fade from my life, and I'm moving on to better things.'

-- One of the most important factors of the healing process is our own self-talk. What we say to ourself is the most powerful driving force. Choosing words that feel true to yourself, we may say: 'I choose to feel wonderful today. No matter what others may say or do, my happiness comes from within. I alone determine how I feel.'

Affirmations such as: 'I am now taking care of the child within, and I am doing a really good job. I alone have direct control over my psychological wellbeing. I focus on the positive things in life. I wake up each day and focus on things that are beautiful and right.'

When we at last come to see that our anger hurts only ourselves, then we can reach that state where forgiveness is possible. With forgiveness we draw that line under the past and allow ourselves to move on with our life.

In this freer state, we can finally move on from the past, and at last start to live the life with which we have been gifted.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Forgiveness---The-Eraser-of-Anger&id=9646440

Use the 90-Second Rule to Release Negative Thoughts and Feelings!

Did you know that your body is designed to automatically clear stress and negative feelings? Recent research has shown that it takes your body only 90 seconds to clear the associated neuro-chemicals and neuro-pathways in your body and brain. Your body can reset that quickly, so you can feel refreshed and have a new perspective.

Since reading about that, I've seen it happen with my cat. She likes to attack the side of our living room couch with her claws and she really tears it up. If I yell "No, Cotton!" and spritz her with water, she runs away up the stairs-as if her life is in danger. Then, a minute or two later she'll come sauntering down the stairs as if nothing has happened.

Now, you might say, "That's a great theory and it might work with cats, but my stress and negative moods tend to last much longer than 90 seconds. Once they get triggered, they can change my whole day!"

Let's briefly explore what's happening with us humans-and how it might be different from what a cat does. Then, maybe we can see what to do. If you would, take a moment to think back to one of those moments of stress and bad feeling and observe what happened then...

Perhaps, did you get caught up in mentally replaying and ruminating on an upsetting event? Did you find yourself rehashing what you said and did or what someone else said or did over and over again? Did that event repeat like a bad loop in your brain, torturing you with an escalating inner commentary?

"Why did I do that, I'm so stupid!" or "What was he thinking! I hate when he does that to me!"

As long as you repeat those words in your head, the same neuropathways will fire, the same neurochemicals will continue to release, and you'll continue to think negatively and feel badly.

So, what can you do-as a human?

Knowing the 90-second Rule, you could use it to your advantage. You could take 90 seconds-that's about all it takes, if you do this sincerely-and do three things to clear your mind and body.

1. Move

Here you're taking cues from my cat. She gets moving right away.

However, if you don't want to scamper up the stairs like a feline, just stand up and stretch. Bad moods tend to round our shoulders forward and hunker us over. So, change your posture. Stretch your arms overhead. Stretch side to side. Then, open your arms out wide and look up.

Now, you're probably already feeling a slight change. You could build on it by taking a walk. Get out of the space you are in, change the scenery, and move your body a bit more.

2. Breathe

Take several slow deep breaths, imagining that your whole body is filling up as you inhale and your whole body is emptying as you exhale. Consciously let go of the situation as you breathe out with a big sigh: "Haaahhhhh." You might do that a few times to make sure.

Now, you're feeling even a bit better. Your body is beginning to reset.

3. Entertain a new thought

Recognize the thoughts that were plaguing you. Notice how you were interpreting the situation. You can do this by observing the words in your head. Notice how those words made you feel.

See if you can do this without judging yourself, or your thoughts, as good or bad. Just recognize what you were thinking. Then, release it by acknowledging that it's just a thought, just one way of looking at things, just one possible neural pathway in your brain-it's not who you are! Since it's just a thought, you can choose to let it go.

Now, you have space to entertain a new thought. One amazing ability we have as humans is to be able to look at the same situation in a number of different ways!

If you take 90-seconds to do any one of the above--or all three-I think you'll be amazed at how your body takes over and clears away stress and bad feeling. Then, if you find it coming back again, you can simply repeat.

Enjoy your practice!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Use-the-90-Second-Rule-to-Release-Negative-Thoughts-and-Feelings!&id=9382901