Vegan - May Your Spirit Never Be Tamed!

I am aware that people have different capacity levels for empathy. Some feel deeply about their own family, but struggle with feeling anything for others. Some feel deeply for animals and children, but not so much for adult humans. Some of us shelve things happening in the world just to get by in our own struggling world. I understand that people process information differently, with some needing a barrage of details and facts and others being more intuitive thinkers. Yet, with all of this observation I am still confounded by the blindness and self- centeredness of the human race.

How does the human race not see its self-induced injustices? I am human, I see. As a so called "most evolved" species, how do we not see the injustice of creating enemies with our "us versus them" labeling, of enslaving and killing over 56 million land animals a day, and of thinking that we have a right to dominate? This unconscionable naiveté is beyond my comprehension, and so I too compartmentalize it away to function without being overwhelmed by the farce of my existence. Beyond being vegan, beyond non- violent communication, beyond self-exploration, "how can I use my energy to create a world of peace for all beings?"

We think we have a lot of choices, but in fact our enculturation limits us. We have the illusion of being free, but we are all caught in a smoke screen. A screen or filter that is imposed as babes and perpetuated in the country we live in, and the people with whom we align. This is not freedom this is an enslaved way of thinking which preserves the status quo. When we break away from this entrenched thinking we are met with enormous resistance politically, economically, and emotionally. Is it enough that I question social beliefs, practice veganism and non violent communication, and am open to other ways of being?

Finding our own truth is not easy. Martin Luther King Jr., once said:

"And there comes a time one must take a position that is neither safe, nor political, nor popular-but one must take it simple because it is right."

Veganism is my truth because it is about creating a Utopia where all peoples, and all animals, can live in peace on a well planet. Consequently, if I want to have an impact on the way others see peace I must be the change I want to see. To optimize my performance in this quest I want to be my best physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

To keep alive the peace within I use this guide as a foundation to optimizing my well-being.

In My Body,

I will treat my body to nutritious foods.

I will avoid highly processed vegan foods loaded with sugar, salt, and fat.

I will learn from vegan nutrition experts (PurePlant Nation, the Buddhist Chef) what fuels my body best.

I will stock my home with essential vegan stables like plant milk, spices, cooked beans, frozen vegetables, sauces, seeds, nuts, grains, a blender, and a steamer.

I will get at least six hours of sleep each evening.

I will drink at least 64 ounces of water a day.

I will exercise regularly to build strength, stamina and flexibility.

In My Thinking,

I will focus on the task at hand, and shut out distractions.

I will sharpen the saw through continual learning.

I will practice win win in all my communications.

I will respect the choices of others.

I will challenge my own assumptions, triggers, and behaviors.

I will practice patience daily by being present and observing.

I will learn to communicate in a non violent manner (Marshall Rosenberg).

I will practice open minded heartful thinking.

I will be a good listener.

I will be a collaborator.

In My Spirit Self,

I will honor myself by staying focused on optimizing my energy.

I will spend time in nature, or visualize a natural setting that infuses me with oneness.

I will be persistent in valuing peace by optimizing my energy physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

I will be courageous by listening to my heart, hearing the cries of those without a voice, and by surrounding myself with people and places of positive energy.

The historical tipping point that changes these basic inequities I may never see. I do find solace and inspiration in spiritual leaders like the Dalai Lama, Eckhart Tolle, Ram Dass, and many others. I am not alone and either are you. We can help shape the world by being our best and by enlarging our community. This is my quest and this is my bliss.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Vegan---May-Your-Spirit-Never-Be-Tamed!&id=10130841

An Ounce Of Help Is Better Than A Pound Of Preaching

It's very difficult to console someone who is down. Criticism won't help but a listening heart can. Feeling what someone else is going through is already a comfort. Understanding and empathy is better than a pound of preaching because of a mistake. Blaming won't help either. Though, it's easier to find fault with other people but it's different when your compassion is what they needed.

Acknowledge that you understand the person's feelings. Sometimes people want to seek advice or a solution to their problem. But as seen, they usually want to vent their feelings. This is especially true for women. So, just listen. Let that the other person to talk, so that they can sort their feelings themselves; they may not even be able to articulate why they're feeling down, unless you draw it out of them.

Never minimize their pain or try to cheer them up. When faced with tears, sometimes we insist that whatever they're upset about is no big deal. Don't trivialize their experience, but walk through it with them. Put yourself on their shoes so that you can easily understand what they've been through. Words may not be that trivial but the way you respond to a situation matters.

Sometimes people don't want to talk and just want to be held in silence. They also just want to feel that they are not alone. So, your presence is already enough to comfort them. Even if you won't offer consoling words, the mere fact that you stay with them is already a relief.

In such circumstance, the person typically feels better after having shared the burden in their heart, and the pain fades eventually. Having someone who is willing to listen and will never judge you despite your flaws is a gift. How on earth I survive life's struggle if I don't have a friend whom I can lean on especially when I am so down and depressed.

Money is nothing compared to a friend who can help you without extending any monetary budget to you. If a problem is not resolve yet, she can offer you a solution to improve the situation without pressuring you to do it. She always listens. Even if she also has problems of her own.

With someone who's sad not because of an isolated event, but because they suffer from disappointments, just talk to her and listen. Excess rumination is not only ineffective in alleviating depressed feelings, it can also worsen them.

Scolding and preaching won't help a person who is in pain. Just let the person know that you understand what they're going through, that you're sorry they're going through it, and that your shoulder is always available for them to cry one and that's enough.

https://ezinearticles.com/?An-Ounce-Of-Help-Is-Better-Than-A-Pound-Of-Preaching&id=9774780

The 5 WAYS To Make People INSTANTLY RESPECT YOU | Lewis Howes

What Burns Our Thirsty Souls

The soul is the place where the life force resides, from the first life breath that began our lifetime to the moment our last and final breath is expelled. This is the most sacred place in the human body; yet all too easily its existence is ignored as it thirsts for the best we can become to materialize. A thirsty soul is the result of ignoring and failing to cultivate the traits that set us apart from other life forms. Compassion, empathy, kindness, sympathy and even remorse for wrong actions all provide the nourishment that refreshes our soul. Our highest consciousness exists within our soul. Ignoring these traits effectively burns our soul, leaving a seared consciousness that has no conscience. No integrity, morality, principles or ethics exist in the person with a seared conscience; the very best any person could be becomes buried in the rubble of resistance to those higher traits.

It is against human nature to violate the behaviors that set us above the animal kingdom. Our instincts are to first survive and then to thrive in our environment. We were all born with the ability to dream bigger dreams, to believe in things we could not see and to achieve what appeared to be an impossible dream. Only when we have lost our way do we reach a state of seared conscience. If you think all is lost, take counsel; your cries are heard, passing through the darkness, filtered by the clouds they mingle with starlight and find their way to the touch of the Master's hand. Be at peace; be calm.

Though you have no memory of the hand that was placed on your soft brow as you inhaled your first breath of life, know that dreams and seeds of great hope accompanied that first breath. The child who was you was uncorrupted by failure and knew it was all possible. It was this which inspired you to lay your head on a soft field of grass, look into the fluffy clouds above you and see what no one else could. This was dreaming, the earliest from of seeing what could be.

Where did it all go, the grace that was your style, the agile figure, the precision of your movement, the clarity of your mind, the brilliance of your words? It was not a thief who stole these treasures from you but you and you alone who bartered them for something far less than you ever dreamed of. Doubt, fear anxiety and hate fill a life corrupted by failure; one that is filled with quick fixes, an easier path, greed and a thirst for power become the foundation for these losses that result in a thirsty soul. There is no room for those joyful memories where these emotions reside. This is a dark path filled with sorrow. The path back to your own personal greatness requires new choices.

Only when you are willing to relinquish these human traits of failure can you return to the dreams and promise that was instilled in your first breath. These learned habits, like every human habit, must be replaced with a healthy and joyful one to release the control they hold over you. It is a return to the light of your existence. Is it possible? Light always overcomes darkness. It is the reason a single candle light can be seen on the darkest night up to three miles away. We were created to see the light!

https://ezinearticles.com/?What-Burns-Our-Thirsty-Souls&id=10059611

What Is the Origin of Your Anger?

Both proverbial and of cliché proportions, the term "tip of the iceberg" has been used to compare and shed light on numerous aspects in life, emphasizing that what one sees jutting out of the water is only a tiny portion of the greater mass upon which it rests below it. One of them is anger, since what you feel about circumstances and people later in life may have very early, subsurface origins.

Perhaps using others as a mirror when I was an adult-that is, viewing them with the same trusting eyes, integrity, and honesty I projected-I was sometimes disappointed, receiving, instead, betrayal, lies, and defamation, and not realizing that their low and lesser-than behavior had nothing to do with me, but everything to do with the efficiencies from which they functioned.

Unsuspecting, I was never prepared for their underhanded actions and usually raged about them for a considerable period--anywhere from weeks to months to years--perplexed as I asked myself such questions as, "How could they do such things to me?" "Why didn't I see that coming?" "Where was their remorse, regret, sorrow, feeling, conscience, embarrassment, or empathy for the hurt they inflicted on me?"

Those who continually heard my tirades were compelled to ask, "When are you going to get over it already?"

I could not. Therefore, I could not answer them.

Examination of my ire revealed two significant aspects of it: (1). Its intensity and (2) Its duration.

Why, I wondered, did I rage with such insatiable vehemence and why, despite the multiply-repeated tirades, did they never lose their intensity, regardless of the time lapse?

I ultimately realized that my late anger was the smoke produced by the early, still-smoldering fire lit by my father's abusive, traumatizing, life-threatening, predatory chases, projections, toxin transfers, enmeshments, and soul-siphoning-late layers, if you will, of an early, never dismantled foundation. Like threads stitched by time, they all stretched back to those unresolved incidents.

Physically blocked and suspended of power, I was immobilized, unable to run, harness the internal explosion of stress hormones, or even cry or scram. A single word afterward, interpreted by a mentally unstable parent, would only have been viewed as "talking back" and "disrespect of elders," inviting more of the same. It would have very much been the equivalent of pulling my own trigger. Little had I known that my father had been subjected to the same treatment as a child and that my sheer presence actually pulled his own trigger.

Squelching, suppressing, and swallowing it all, I became a backed-up volcano, always awaiting my own internal eruption and I always chose the lesser-and less detrimental-of two evils: remain silent until I imploded or talk back and risk further physical harm in the name of "justifiable discipline." It was a lose-lose situation, a damned-if-you-do and damned-if-you-don't' choice.

But the brain, by means of its neuron recordings of the negative, counter-survival experiences it is subjected to, only has so much capacity to absorb, like the sponge that tries to soak up a spilled gallon of water. After it reaches its capacity, the rest will ooze out of it until it virtually drowns in it.

Relevantly, the later-in-life authority figures, unrecovered adult children, and qualifiers triggered these never-diffused bombs and lit the match on the image of the father I had never processed and forgiven-not to mention still feared. Subconsciously, they wore his displaced face.

I could not "finish out" and reach a level of release, relinquish, and satisfaction with those I encountered as an adult, because they tripped the circuit I never diffused with my father as a child. This was the origin of my anger.

Anger, from a psychological perspective, is negative energy and emotion, a natural and automatic response to a person or circumstance who or which wronged you, especially in cases of unfairness, unexpectedness, and injustice. There can be either an internal or an external trigger to it.

Originating in the primitive or stem portion of the brain, it can be a defensive reaction to a threat, stressor, or loss. It provides a channel for the expression of negative feelings and can spark or motivate a person into solution- and survival-oriented actions. Because it never occurs in isolation and is usually preceded by pain or painful feelings, it can be characterized as a "second hand emotion."

Underlying anger is always hurt.

From the adult child perspective, anger is a normal reaction to an abnormal circumstance.

Spiritual or religious discussions warn of its overtaking nature, if it is not resolved, quelled, or kept in check. "In your anger, do not sin," the Bible advises.

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice."

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires"-in other words, if you think that you are doing his work for him, you are not.

Although these quotes bespeak of ultimate truths, they are almost impossible to achieve and maintain when the fires of an abusive childhood still rage within you, waiting to be doused and dissolved with recovery. They may be the origins of your own anger, as expressed in Courage to Change (Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, 1992, p. 341). "Before Al-Anon, I'd have sworn I didn't have an angry bone in my body. Through working the steps, however, I discovered that, without knowing it, I'd often been furious with the alcoholic in my life. I began to recognize anger while it was happening... It felt great to reclaim these repressed parts of myself. I felt more whole, more powerful... "

The person seems to share the same origin of anger as I and was equally forced to squelch it. All roads lead to Rome and all anger apparently leads to your abuser.

The solution for me came from shifting my focus from the tip of the iceberg later-in-life to the foundation laid by my father earlier in it and realizing that this insatiable, unshakable emotion was due to my inability to confront and express to him what I had been forced to absorb. This was the true origin of my anger.

Can you think of any of your own that you now believe was displaced and out-of-proportion for the person or the circumstance? Can you trace it back to the original ones? Was it something you never processed or resolved or someone you never forgave? Can you determine that what you wanted to express to someone as an adult may have been the same, unfinished emotions you should have vented to your parent, abuser, alcoholic, or qualifier as a child?

This, too, may be the origin of your anger.

https://ezinearticles.com/?What-Is-the-Origin-of-Your-Anger?&id=9752241

The Spirit Of Genuinely Productive Individualism In The Creative Mind

Greedily competitive is always a bad thing to be and to affirm to yourself. Especially when you want to be genuinely prosperous in a creative way that enhances your life and the lives of everyone else in a deserved way. Yet, we all are greedily competitive at some time in our lives. The best thing to do about this is to be more conscious of what we do and why we do it, which is an affirmation in itself. It is an affirmation in itself because, when we are honest inwardly and realistic about why we do something and what we do, that is a start in the realistic direction that is the opposite of greedily competitive as I describe it above.

So what do I mean by the title of my article? Productive individualism benefits you, yet it cares about others in a considerate and productive way that works for all, including yourself.

Now, when I use the word individualism, I do not mean destructive "me first" purely type thinking or action. I mean this: I mean a genuinely proactive approach to your own interests while considering the interests of others as human beings as you consider yourself. That does mean an equity of consciousness, using empathy and understanding to help yourself and others through better service and benefit. It is a funny thing, but, in thought and reality, it comes down to the genuine golden rule from ancient times: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and I would add "not only that, consider others equally in consciousness as you consider yourself when warranted." What do I mean by "when warranted"? Well, I mean this: If someone is an equal in consciousness or a better in consciousness, be appropriately and give them room to grow in a "you win and I win with you" type way. If a person is lesser in consciousness, help them out, but be careful not to lower your consciousness. In a sense, protect yourself and your interests, yet, consider other people, learn from them, but I repeat, be purely creative productively and do not compete destructively.

In this abundant universe and existence, there is always enough for everyone really. But, if you are greedy or destructive in an initiating way, you pay for it ultimately. It does not matter what the quick benefit seems to be when greedy or destructive, you do pay for it. This is not just a reality, I wanted to end this article with logical and honesty working words of warning. For, if you help others, you help yourselves. I do not want to end negatively, so I end with this quote from Samuel "Golden Rule" Jones, former mayor of Toronto,Canada in the early twentieth century:

"What I want for myself, I want for everybody!"

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Spirit-Of-Genuinely-Productive-Individualism-In-The-Creative-Mind&id=8453590

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend, I've Come to Talk With You Again. (By Steve Wickham)

Empathy in the individual is a massively important quality. Though it is a felt kind of trait, not strictly related with intelligence quotient, I think it is a cornerstone in the development of intelligence. Here's why. When we have the capacity of feeling for others, we truly connect with our world and the fiasco of self is ended.

At least that is the theory!

But empathy isn't the end of it. It's just the beginning. Once our empathy is acquired it doesn't stay with us statically; it can grow or rescind. We may develop it, but the tricky thing is we can also grow our skill for tapping artificially into it. In other words, we can learn to fake it.

Anyone can appear caring.

We need to be suspicious about those who appear as caring without actually feeling moved.

But the truth is that's me. There's a darkness in me to be able to continue as a pastor and counsellor and not be traumatised. Some would call it a thick skin. I know I'm capable of feeling enormous empathy, but it's moderated hugely now by my mind. Of a sense, I can control it. On one level such control is good. It helps me do my job. But at another level I feel cut off from what I could possibly be feeling. Or, I mourn the fact that I'm not as emotional as I once was or upset by things many other people are. In a weaker moment, I can truly wonder if there is darkness in me to the degree that my conscience is somewhat seared. But I know what I think, and that convinces me - my thinking conveys reprehensibility for the things that would otherwise gut me.

See how there is the entrance into the reality of my darkness. I'm not afraid of finding out how dark my soul could be. It would trouble me where I was to find darkness. And it has. But it only troubles me to the degree that I am impelled to do something about it. Yet this is just one example. I am still vulnerable in areas where I think I'm right, where I could be wrong, where pride can still be the predictable initial response. Pride is never too far away as an immediate response I must be awake to. Pride driven of fear that I'm not, in fact, all that I think I am. Still, there are hidden darknesses that I am yet to be made aware of that elicits the prayer, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'

You may have heard the song The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel, which says, 'A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.' This is so true to our human nature, that we cannot see what others see, and what others see we disregard, because we can only see our truth, and it forever polarises us in conflict with others who disagree. We are forlorn to war and battle and to decry justice and to fight for 'justice', and the biggest irony of all is the supposed social justice warrior insists they are right, and if only things were turned their way all would be right with the world. Sorry, I don't buy it. Yet, there are those on the Right who cannot bear that they also might be wrong. I see so much at the polarities that is untrustworthy. Both sides manipulate truth to satisfy their need and prop up their position.

Could it be possible that we are all wrong?

If all of us could be wrong, and if only God can truly be right, all the time, what might that convince us to do? The trouble is, especially in the Christian world, we tend to think that God is on our side, when there are other Christians who see the world differently and believe God is on their side. Could it be possible that we are both partially right? If that is true, we are both partially wrong, as well. Where does all this thinking lead us?

Hopefully it leads us to the place of bringing our sinful opinionatedness to the cross, to confess our need of Jesus, and to repent toward the possibility of those truths that we cannot yet see. All we need to do is acknowledge that we cannot see everything.

We can only fix 'us' in Jesus' name.

The 'other' is the Holy Spirit's project.

Imagine this scenario: standing before God's Judgment Seat on the day we finally meet Him.

We hear the record of our lives. Together with our record as it is read out, we hear others' records read out; those whose lives paralleled ours, and especially, as it pertains to this topic, we hear those records of those people we might praise and despise.

Gradually we are enlightened as we listen, and begin to comprehend the facts we never knew, which are the things we always did that we thought were right but that weren't wholly right, and those things that others did that we thought were wrong, that weren't wholly wrong.

We hear the record of this other person we could not forgive, and for the first time in our lives we see how truly lovable they are, because the perception of God is added to us.

We begin to see who they actually are from the experiences that had shaped their lives. And suddenly there is a sense of remorse, because we did not, or chose not to, see what we could have always seen if only we had been openhearted.

In the immediacy of this moment, suddenly God makes us angelic to the point that all our eyes can see is truth, and from that truth is the full portion of grace, because, for the first time in our lives, we understood that grace can only be understood and extended from the perspective of the fullness of truth.

Then, after seemingly a long silence and pause,

God speaks these words gently:

'You seem surprised, My son/daughter.

'Did you not assume that you too had blind spots? Did you not plan for this day? Did you assume all along that you had read me right, whilst thinking all along others who love me read me all wrong? Did you assume that the moment you pledged yourself to Jesus resolved your sin in its entirety? Were you not concerned at all that from the moment you pledged to follow My Son that you did not grow as much as you ought to have? Do you arrive here imagining you are at the top of the hierarchy of mortals in heaven? Did you live your life that way? Of course, you are thinking right now, "You know it all, God, so I really have no defence." Of course, the prosecution rests, for My questions of you are not judgment as you think they are Judgment. Until now you have been geared to think of everything against your view as judgment. I offer these rhetorical questions to you to bring you to the truth that causes repentance, which is an eternal commitment to and commission for the truth.

'My Grace has covered you; you are loved and you are mine, but I would not love you if I did not bring this truth to you. Now, enjoy my heavenly kingdom, knowing you can only now do good and be good to all.'

What if our world was suddenly full of people, every single one of us, who saw immediately where we were wrong, instead of being right all the time? Of course, this is not a picture of earth, it is a picture of heaven on earth, but not of the new heaven and earth where there will be no wrong.

Could it be our opportunity, here as we live our lives, to live with our wrongness at the forefront of our awareness, as the principal modus operandi for living at peace with everyone, so far as it depends on us?

I started this article talking about empathy. If we, ourselves, do not have empathy we have no hope of realising the potential that God stowed in us from the beginning.

Please do not think this is referring to anybody else but yourself. It is so common for each of us to think about how others lack empathy or exude it too much, without facing the question for ourselves.

This is your time. This is your question.

Before the Lord of all the Ages.

This could be your opportunity to truly ask how devoted you are to truly following Jesus. What a golden opportunity it is, before your time, and mine, is up.

It is up to us to tell on our darkness before the darkness tells on us.

It's time to be honest and to ascribe honesty as our covenant of allegiance to Christ.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Hello-Darkness,-My-Old-Friend,-Ive-Come-to-Talk-With-You-Again&id=10003148

Why The Most Successful NETWORK?

Have you ever wondered why the most successful people, seem to be visible, everywhere you look, seemingly know everyone, and are known to most people? Do you believe it is a coincidence, or does it require a significant amount of effort, energy, and commitment? While we each may define what success means to us, most would agree, there's more involved than merely making lots of money, because we have all witnessed some miserable, sad, unhappy millionaires! In my 4 decades of leadership training, and personal / self - development consultant, and speaker, I have learned, truly successful people are those, who NETWORK!

1) Nuances; needs; necessary: If you want to be successful, you can't proceed, as a secret agent. You must get to know and understand others, and therefore, must meet them! Only when you know and respect needs, can you improve!

2) Educate; empathy: Successful people have a consistent quest to learn and know more, and to educate themselves. When you listen and learn, you gain the necessary empathy, to better connect and relate.

3) Timely: if you desire success, you must be ready, willing and able, to take well - considered, timely action.

4) Which way: How will you be able to succeed, if you don't focus on goals and priorities, and determine which way to proceed?

5) Organize; opportunities; optimize: Begin by becoming a professional planner, and organize your efforts, in a focused way? Often, the difference between success and failure, is recognizing the best opportunities, and optimizing your efforts and chances!

6) Relevant; real: Getting out, helps you better know what's most relevant, and behave in a real way!

7) Knowledge: Knowledge is often golden! The more you know, especially if you transform it to expertise, better judgment, and wisdom, enhances one's possibilities for success!

Will you hide within your comfort zone, or will you expand it, and, thus, your opportunities! NETWORK, so you become a successful, individual, of quality!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Why-The-Most-Successful-NETWORK?&id=9706410

The Brave and Bruised Heart of Forgiveness

Gandhi said, "Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it. Because nobody else will." It's hard to imagine that Gandhi ever felt that his humanitarian efforts were insignificant-yet here he is admitting to it. If Gandhi felt insignificant, then you and I also have a right to. I've always suffered with interminable and acute pangs of inadequacy. I am perplexed by people who don't stop to question the effect they are having on others, or how they are using their precious time. People seem to skate along unperturbed, while I'm vigorously scrutinizing myself, pretty sure I'm not doing enough for humanity. Gandhi also said it's only those who question at the end of their lives whether they have done enough who actually have.

The emotion of empathy keeps me feeling as if I've not given enough. While empathy is a fundamental characteristic of the human personality, I'm keenly aware, as I'm sure you are, that some of us have lots of empathy, while others have far less. Thanks to neurological scans, we now know that some brains are programmed with more empathetic cells than others. On the empathy spectrum, Psychopaths, people with Anti-Social Personality Disorder, and those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have been shown to have a marked deficit in empathy, which is why they can commit crimes without thinking twice about it. On the other end of the spectrum is the codependent who rushes to put others before themselves, even to their own detriment. There are specialized types of brain cells, or nerve cells, called Mirror Neurons, which specifically allow us to feel compassion and empathy for others. The more Mirror Neurons you have, the more empathetic you are. This is why Autistics typically display low empathy; neurological scans show the Autistic brain suffers from a deficit of Mirror Neurons. The average brain varies in these benevolent neurons; some of us are naturally endowed with the capacity to care, while others have to work harder at developing more of an awareness of others' feelings. The good news is that while compassion varies brain by brain, it can be learned.

Curiously, one way to increase compassion is through meditation, shown to increase empathetic response. The most surprising aspect of this research is that meditation caused people to help another who was suffering-even in the face of a norm not to do so. In fact, meditators who practiced sending loving thoughts to themselves and others reported less depression, more happiness and satisfaction with life, and were in better physical shape, with stronger immune systems. They were also willing to lend a helping hand when others needed it, and less afraid of suffering. Buddhists have a practice called Tonglen (meaning, 'giving and taking'), in which meditators breath in the suffering of another, and send healing on the out-breath. I have practiced Tonglen many times since I discovered this charitable practice, when a loved one was struggling and in need of strength. I sent them alleviation of pain, acceptance, and peace, on the wind of my breath. Whether it worked for them I cannot say; I know I felt immediate relief. Buddhist monks and nuns practice it with regularity, and the Dalai Llama is said to practice Tonglen everyday. When asked if it worked, he responded: "If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

When we feel compassion for others' suffering, we are not unlike the Buddhist Bodhisattvas, deities who have taken a vow to return to earth until all sentient beings are enlightened. My favorite Bodhisattva is the nurturing mother of all Bodhisattvas, Quan Yin. She is known as the Goddess of Compassion. She is always depicted carrying a bottle of salve down-turned on humanity, with which to heal their wounds. She stands upon the lotus flower, the only flower that grows in the mud, a symbol of growth despite adversity, and she rests tranquilly on the back of a dragon, a symbol of magic and power.

Perhaps those of us who care deeply, feeling the sorrow of others, are actually blessed. While we experience a double portion of tears and sorrow, we are also the heartbeat of humanity. Perhaps this is why I experience an existential inadequacy; as long as others are still suffering, I can't be contented. Perhaps I have been practicing compassion unknowingly, as I instinctively breath in pain, and breath out compassion. Perhaps I have practiced Tongen all my life without knowing it. If we could see ourselves for the Bodhisattvas we are, Bodhisattvas in becoming, endowed with the power of compassion, we wouldn't doubt our ability to reach out to others in times of loss and sorrow. Instead, we would trust ourselves as the embodiment of strength and compassion, and cease questioning if what we had to give was enough. For with every breath, we would realize that compassion is breathing through us, and could there be anything more extraordinary?

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Brave-and-Bruised-Heart-of-Forgiveness&id=9482162

An Ounce Of Help Is Better Than A Pound Of Preaching

It's very difficult to console someone who is down. Criticism won't help but a listening heart can. Feeling what someone else is going through is already a comfort. Understanding and empathy is better than a pound of preaching because of a mistake. Blaming won't help either. Though, it's easier to find fault with other people but it's different when your compassion is what they needed.

Acknowledge that you understand the person's feelings. Sometimes people want to seek advice or a solution to their problem. But as seen, they usually want to vent their feelings. This is especially true for women. So, just listen. Let that the other person to talk, so that they can sort their feelings themselves; they may not even be able to articulate why they're feeling down, unless you draw it out of them.

Never minimize their pain or try to cheer them up. When faced with tears, sometimes we insist that whatever they're upset about is no big deal. Don't trivialize their experience, but walk through it with them. Put yourself on their shoes so that you can easily understand what they've been through. Words may not be that trivial but the way you respond to a situation matters.

Sometimes people don't want to talk and just want to be held in silence. They also just want to feel that they are not alone. So, your presence is already enough to comfort them. Even if you won't offer consoling words, the mere fact that you stay with them is already a relief.

In such circumstance, the person typically feels better after having shared the burden in their heart, and the pain fades eventually. Having someone who is willing to listen and will never judge you despite your flaws is a gift. How on earth I survive life's struggle if I don't have a friend whom I can lean on especially when I am so down and depressed.

Money is nothing compared to a friend who can help you without extending any monetary budget to you. If a problem is not resolve yet, she can offer you a solution to improve the situation without pressuring you to do it. She always listens. Even if she also has problems of her own.

With someone who's sad not because of an isolated event, but because they suffer from disappointments, just talk to her and listen. Excess rumination is not only ineffective in alleviating depressed feelings, it can also worsen them.

Scolding and preaching won't help a person who is in pain. Just let the person know that you understand what they're going through, that you're sorry they're going through it, and that your shoulder is always available for them to cry one and that's enough.

http://ezinearticles.com/?An-Ounce-Of-Help-Is-Better-Than-A-Pound-Of-Preaching&id=9774780

Do You Know Your Emotional Style?

Neuroscientist Richard Davidson spent almost 40 years studying the brain mechanisms that underlie our emotions. He determined that individuals have unique and consistent ways of responding to life experiences. These emotional styles are governed by specific identifiable brain circuits.

In his book, The Emotional Life of Your Brain, co-authored with Sharon Begley, he describes six emotional styles:

1. Self-Awareness: How well you perceive the physical sensations in your body that reflect your emotions. (Self-awareness is determined by the ability of the insula to interpret signals from the body and organs.)

2. Sensitivity to Context: How good you are at regulating your emotional responses depending on the context you're in. (This sensitivity is driven by activity levels in the hippocampus.)

3. Resilience: How slowly or quickly you recover from adversity. (Resilience is determined by signals between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala.)

4. Social Intuition: How adept you are at picking up social signals from people around you. (Social intuition is shaped by the interplay between the amygdala and fusiform regions.)

5. Attention: How clear and sharp your focus is. (Attention is regulated by the prefrontal cortex.)

6. Outlook: How long you are able to sustain positive emotion. (Outlook is determined by the levels of activity in the ventral striatum, which is a part of the brain linked to our reward system).

I find it interesting that few of these six emotional styles directly correlate with the five basic components of emotional intelligence:

1. Self-Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, as well as the effect they have on others.

2. Self-Regulation: The ability to control and appropriately express emotions and impulses.

3. Social Skills: The ability to interact well with others.

4. Empathy: The ability to understand how others are feeling and respond accordingly

5. Internal Motivation: The ability to fulfill your own inner needs and goals.

Let's use ES to identify Emotional Style and EI to identify Emotional Intelligence.

There are two emotional styles that directly correspond to two components of emotional intelligence:

• Self-Awareness [ES] is clearly similar to Self-Awareness [EI].
• Sensitivity to Context [ES] seems to correspond to Self-Regulation [EI].

The remaining four emotional styles appear to have a less distinct relationship to the emotional intelligence components. You may disagree with some of my pairings. I'm not sure what this says about my personality, but I prefer for things to even out...

• It is possible that Resilience [ES] may relate in some way to Self-Regulation [EI].
• Social Intuition [ES] may correspond to Social Skills [EI]
• A case might be made that Social Intuition [ES] is related to Empathy [EI].
• A case might also be made that Attention [ES] is related in some part to Internal Motivation [EI].
• Finally, Outlook [ES] may relate to Internal Motivation [EI].

Despite this apparent lack of correspondence, both emotional styles and emotional intelligence do share one important quality. Neuroplasticity means that the brain (and thus, how you think, feel and respond) can be changed. Becoming more aware of your emotions is the first step in transforming them and your brain. Emotional styles can be modified and emotional intelligence skills can be learned and developed.

If you would like to get a sense of your emotional style, the Center for Healthy Minds offers a short questionnaire.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-You-Know-Your-Emotional-Style?&id=9839506

True-Self: Why Do Some People Lose Themselves Around Others?

When one is in touch with themselves and they feel safe enough to express who they are, there will be no reason for them to put on an act. How they come across on the outside is going to match up with who they are on the inside.

Now and Then

Or, if they do put on act, it is going to be something that rarely takes place. As a result of this, it is going to be a lot easier for them to handle the moments when they are unable to be themselves.

There can be times when they are unable to maintain their sense of self, and other times when it is necessary for them to play a role. If their life was under threat, for instance, one could lose themselves momentarily, or if they were at work, they might have to act in a way that doesn't reflect who they are.

Relationships

When one spends time with their friends, it will be normal for them to be themselves. Their behaviour will be governed by what is taking place within them, as opposed to what is going on externally.

Now, this is not to say that one will lack empathy, and that they won't be able to tune into what is going on for someone else. What it means is that they won't end up losing themselves and acting as though they are an extension of someone else.

An Important Ability

One can then put themselves in another person's shoes without having to completely absorb what they are going through. Through being this way, they can stay in their own body and not get drawn into another person's experience.

Is it then going to be a lot easier of them to assist someone, and they won't end up taking on their problems. If one was to absorb what other people go through, it would be the same as one joining someone in a boat that is already sinking.

An Individual

When this doesn't happen, there will be no need for one to get in the boat; they will be able to instruct them on what they can do to get out of the boat. And, as one won't have the tendency to lose themselves around their friends, this area of their life is likely to be very fulfilling.

One will be able to fulfil their need to be seen for who they are, and the positive feedback that they get from others will actually mean something. If, on the other hand they were playing a role, it wouldn't mean anything.

Boundaries

What this is going to show is that one has good boundaries, and this is why they feel safe enough to be themselves. If this wasn't the case, it wouldn't matter if they were in touch with what is taking place within them.

As one is not here to live another person's life, it could be said that one will be living in the right way. However, while this can be seen as the ideal way to experience life, there are going to be a plenty of people who can't relate to this.

Another Experience

When one can't relate to this experience, it is going to mean that they are used to losing themselves around other people. This can be something that will take place no matter who they are around.

One is then going to disconnect from their own needs and feelings, and they will end up playing a role. This could be a role that someone else wants them to play, or it could be one that they think another person's wants them to play.

Automatic

This is not to say that one will think about what role they need to play before they meet someone, or that they will spend time rehearsing a certain role. The reason for this is that one is likely to end up playing a role when they are around others.

Who they are will end up being covered up, and they will be nothing more than an actor. So, when they receive positive feedback from others, it might not have anything to do with who they are.

False Empathy

And as one is unable to maintain their sense of self around others, it could be normal for one to take on other people's problems. When they are around someone who is going through a hard time, one could absorb what they are going through.

It could then seem as though one is empathising with what they are going through; yet, it might be more accurate to say that one has simply merged with them. One lacks boundaries, and this is why they are taking on another person's problems.

Wide Open

It is then not that one necessarily cares about what the other person is going through; it is that this is something that just happens. If they were to behave differently, it is likely to cause them to feel uncomfortable.

Playing a role or taking on other people's problems is then something that feels safe. If one felt as though it was safe enough for them to be themselves, there would be no reason for them to behave in this way.

Confusion

It might be hard for one to understand why they are experiencing life in this way. Nevertheless, what it can come down to is that took place during their early years.

This may have been a time when were abused and/or neglected, and this would have stopped them from being able to develop in the right way. What would have felt safe would have been to play a role and to do what other people wanted.

Awareness

Through having these early experiences, there is the chance that one will be carrying a lot of trauma. And as they didn't get the kind of care that they needed, they can see themselves as being nothing more than an extension of other people.

If they received what they needed during this time, it would have allowed them to grow into an interdependent human being. In order for one to change their life, they might need to work with a therapist or a healer.

http://ezinearticles.com/?True-Self:-Why-Do-Some-People-Lose-Themselves-Around-Others?&id=9688539

Compassion Is the Answer

Our world is in a serious state of compassionate deficiency - affecting people, animals and the environment. But apparently the consequences don't matter, because they aren't affecting you. Our world is stuck in the mindset that if we have neither seen nor eaten a strawberry in our life, that strawberries therefore must not exist (despite the clear evidence that they in fact do).

Many people argue that they are compassionate beings, that they are aware of and empathise with the feelings of other living things. However, this is where empathy and compassion are different. To be compassionate, these empathetic feelings going on inside your head must coincide with the feeling to do something about it - there is no use, for example, feeling empathetic towards someone who is about to get hit by a car, then not actually taking any action to warn them about it.

I think our lack of compassion is driven less so by hate and more so by plain indifference - and I am definitely guilty of this. When hearing facts such as 795 million people don't have enough food to live a normal life, or that our worlds land ice is decreasing by 281 gigatonnes every year, initially I am concerned. But within hours, if not minutes, these facts have been disregarded and I have entered a sense of indifference. When I take some time to revisit and process issues such as these, I am disappointed in myself for not having the startling truths on my mind 24/7, and for going about my day worrying about stupid problems such as my phone battery draining every time I use Snapchat.

However, I do not believe we are instinctively indifferent about our worlds biggest issues, but that we are struggling to process the connection between the statistical numbers and their reality. 795 million people is the same as the whole population of New Zealand being multiplied by about 172 and then left hungry (Fun Fact: 70% of US's grain is being fed to farmed animals, which is enough to feed 800 million people). 1 gigatonne of ice is equal to 1 billion tonnes - that means 281 billion tonnes of land ice is melting per year. This statistic is clear evidence that our world temperatures are rising, yet many still believe global warming is a hoax because they live in a country that hasn't been outwardly affected by it yet, or because it just so happens to be a chilly day in their neck of the woods. Our lack of connection to numbers is driving our indifference, which is driving our overall lack of compassion to the world around us. I can't help wonder if the media is partially to blame for this? Because I know for sure there was no trouble connecting numbers with their reality after the Paris attacks in 2015. If concern for issues were being more highly publicised, concern would be normalised by the public because the public always has, and always will, mimic the media.

In my opinion, indifference is worse than hate - and our current worlds incapability to process situations that don't affect us directly will eventually bring us to our doom. Although it is really important to be aware of the consequences brought on by our indifference and lack of compassion, in order to make a change we must draw our thoughts away from what we lack and focus on what we want. We attract what we think about, so if we focus on what is written below we will begin to attract more compassion within ourselves and eventually around us, whereas if we continue to focus about our growing indifference and absence of compassion, we will only be attracting more.

We want to be surrounded by compassion because it will 

reduce judgement towards those in our community 

We want to be surrounded by compassion because there will be more equity for minority groups 

We want to be surrounded by compassion because families struggling to make ends meet in our own country could have a brighter future. 

We want to be surrounded by compassion because animals will no longer be bred and raised with their sole purpose being to satisfy the greed of people. 

We want to be surrounded by compassion because Syrian children could grow up the risk of being bombed. 

We want to be surrounded by compassion because future generations need a safe planet just as much as we do. 

We want to be surrounded by compassion because it is the beginning of the answer.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Compassion-Is-the-Answer&id=9610824

Reflections of Your Glory

Thought the word glory would never apply to you? It applies to everyone! Most people live their life without ever giving a thought to how their words and actions may be a reflection of the glory of who they became. For those who are aware the results are far more profound! Where are the reflections of your glory?

Just look around you for the results, search your memories and pay attention! The following are only a few examples you can review to see the results of your guidance and beliefs that have touched others' lives.

1. The most obvious is your children. Who are they? Were they filled with childhood dreams? Did they rest peacefully at night knowing that whatever might be lurking in the shadows, your love protected them? Did you inspire their creativity or ignite a spark of passion that encouraged them to try harder or go the distance? If they are secure, well balanced and unafraid to pursue their dreams your parenting experience has been brilliant.

2. Do you take the time to acknowledge your parents, to notice the elderly and their special needs? Do you offer them respect for their years of wisdom gained? Do you encourage their independence while providing the necessary protection they require? When you replace mediocrity in their lives with understanding and unconditional love you reinforce the beauty of the life force.

3. How do you relate to the homeless or less fortunate people whose path you cross? Do you offer a smile and look them in the eye? Do you encourage them, feed them or contribute with ideas that may inspire them to see solutions? Your willingness and ability to relate to those less fortunate with empathy and compassion are major indicators of character. If you take the time to greet them as equals, to see the glory in them, you have re-instilled their faith in tomorrows that can be filled with wonder.

4. How do you perceive animals in your life? Do you take the time to appreciate the unyielding love, loyalty and devotion your animal friends offer? Do you take the time to acknowledge pets, to offer a loving pat that says 'I notice you and I care?' Do you take the time to care about and act on abused or injured animals? If so, you have shared the grandeur of selfless love.

5. Are you aware of the gifts of nature that surround you? Do you respect the planet for all that it provides? Do you make the effort to conserve water and energy to prevent unnecessary depletion of her natural reserves? Do you take the time to inhale the fresh air that is provided, to enjoy her sunrises and sunsets that are before you? If you do, nature is exalted by your gratitude. You are in touch with the splendor of God that is before you.

Taking the time to care, to counsel, to participate and to listen comprise the foundation of living in glory. Add a dash of faith and a sense of humor to ensure a life well lived and a legacy that reflects your true glory.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Reflections-of-Your-Glory&id=9586362

Staring at Destiny

Do you gawk at accidents or find your attention transfixed at the horror of events on television? You're staring at someone's destiny as these events unfold before you. Do you stare at your own destiny? You can become so enmeshed in events that you actually begin to feel the pain of the victims or their families even though they are strangers. While compassion and empathy are desirable traits becoming entangled or mesmerized by others tragedies is not a habit you want to develop in your own life; it leaves you susceptible to staring at your own destiny.

How is this possible? When traumatic or painful events happen in life it is easy to stare transfixed at those events, your attention riveted to what has happened. Your mind is incredibly powerful. It records events with better clarity than the most powerful video equipment. Every sight, sound and sensory perception is recorded in minute detail. You have instant recall for every infinitesimal event. If you allow yourself to stare at them, to replay them like a favorite movie, the most powerful asset you have is being used to voluntarily induce pain and invite despair into your life.

Trauma does not travel alone. It gained directions into your life through your emotional attachment, either to a person or the outcome of an event. They are tough taskmasters; they enter your life without any introduction, usually hurtling through the door without knocking. Their travel bag is filled with things you never hoped to encounter. Rarely does trauma approach slowly, preferring to crash the gates and bash you unmercifully. These are intruders who refuse to leave until you talk them out the door. Trauma must talk, it is accustomed to being in command; its very presence is forceful. It is necessary to limit and then terminate the time you allow these uninvited guests to control your life, your future.

Why do you choose to devote such an enormous amount of your time to staring at events that are horrifically painful to you? Emotion is the chain that binds. Either you loved or you cared about the outcome. The lock on the chain is your unwillingness to look away, to let go. You imagine you can't let go because you've become attached to the pain. It happens through emotion. Letting go may mean you did not care, or the fear that something that hurt you was true causing you to constantly reexamine every event to know the truth. You become attached to pain because you believe it is all that is left of something that mattered a great deal.

Do you choose to stay there, captivated by a movie that is sure to cause you more pain, to rob you of your future? Looking at the past destroys opportunities for the future. You have to be willing to let go, to look forward to change your future. Whatever has captured your mind, whatever you are looking at is your destiny. Look at what you want.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Staring-at-Destiny&id=9591117

Free Yourself From Toxic People - 'Create Your Own Reality'

Fed up of living for others? Fed up of pleasing others? Life is too short to make it miserable by living in others footsteps. Time to free yourself from those dominating and toxic people, which do nothing less than dragging you to hell. You don't owe your life to them or they don't own your life. It is time to take a step away from them. They harm your mental health and cognitive thinking leaving you worthless and with low self-esteem.

Toxic people cast a shadow on you covering you from your surroundings leaving you suffocating. These people first isolate you from your social life. They treat you like you are their very own personal property. They suck your positivity as predators. They prove you wrong in every aspect. They judge you as well as other people in their surroundings; Don't worry! it is their own way of hiding their complexes. They lack empathy for others and you will rarely find good words in their vocabulary. They are highly selfish; they will only focus on their benefit and will easily crush you down for their benefit without any remorse. They do not admit their mistakes when they are wrong, they lie twisting the whole scenario holding you responsible for every mistake they made. They do not appreciate your work, every time you do something for yourself they envy, and try their level best to pick and point the flaws and let you down.

They damage you, they damage your confidence, control you as if they have every right to you. They have a great audacity to sabotage people around them. They are always the victim they always hold you responsible for the situations they faced. You keep expecting them to change and they keep on letting you down. Lastly, when you speak for yourself and tell them they are disturbing you, and are interfering in your life. They play victims again here as if they haven't done anything wrong and put you responsible for the whole matter. When they are done destroying you, making you a dead wood, they leave you for no good reason. So, before they leave you, just decide for yourself and leave them before they do, they are not the only pebble on the beach.

Confused? Where to start from and how to start? Are you Afraid? Afraid of making decisions others will laugh at you for your opinions and suggestions saying they are not worth it, huh there only way to drag you back to the misery. Some people are never going to speak in favor of you, so forget it. Step out and cut all ties with the toxic group of fellows, so-called close friend, or dominating relation. Do what satisfies the inner you. If you are satisfied with your work, then all is good. You were not born to please everybody. Be independent forget depending on others stop living in others dreams stop being someone's pawn. This is your life, get on with it. Own it, speak up for yourself. You have every right to your life. Make decisions for yourself. If someone is stopping you from achieving your dreams, that's nobody else but you. You have the control of every situation and you can direct your destiny the way you want no one else would do that for you. The more you come under the shadow of destructive critics the more you are heading back.

In case there is a situation where you have to deal with these kinds of toxic people and have to work in an environment where there is no way out, then there might be some ways you can apply in order to minimize their effect on you.

- Firstly, minimize your time of interaction with them.

- Know your boundaries which you would not cross at any matter especially not for these destructive people.

- Learn to say 'NO', if you are uncomfortable doing something then just simply say 'No'. you don't have to go out of your comfort zone just to please such people.

- Make sure you do not go out of your standards because of these people; be kind, sincere, and caring the way you are.

- Avoid listening to them when they are victimizing themselves, as negativity is contagious it would surround you and you won't even realize it.

- They are in constant need of attention so they'll do anything to create a drama so that they can be the center of everyone's attention. What you can do is run a mile from them at that time.

- Do not take their critics seriously as they will always give you destructive ones, and deflate you.

- Never trust them on anything as they are barefaced liars.

The only revenge you can take from them is to move forward that will burn them into ashes. You don't need any one's validation to move ahead. Fling yourself to work, because that is only going to take you far ahead of where you want to see yourself. Be an eager beaver. It is time to create your own reality and go the extra mile. Challenge yourself with new tasks on daily basis. Consistency is the key to success so make sure you are working day to day for what you desire. Create your own goals, be a go-getter, find out your own paths to success, and live for yourself. Remember, not everyone is born with a silver spoon in their mouth, so you have to work for yourself and Leave no stone unturned. Work on your strengths. Surround yourself with the positive people, people that motivate you, that inspire you and appreciate you. The people that know you are worth everything and would like to see you flourish.

Find out your way; find out your very own passion. Uplift your life, and double your working hours. Find out what is the main cause of distraction to work, as understanding the problem is 80% of the solution.The more you rely on others for their opinions you lose the opportunities and self-worth. Nobody will take you seriously. Have a firm belief that you can and you will. Make a decision. At first, there will be a ton of difficulties and ton of inner voices holding you back from positivity, but with time you will adjust and thank yourself for making the right decision that steered you to the pinnacles of success.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Free-Yourself-From-Toxic-People---Create-Your-Own-Reality&id=9804441

You Cannot Fully Understand A Person's Need Until You Have Endured The Same Need

As hard as you may try to understand other people's situation and suffering, you'll fall short unless you go through the same circumstance. You will find it hard to understand their needs but if you are sensitive enough to feel what they feel, I am sure there is no problem expressing your empathy rather than your sympathy.

When you put yourself on other people's shoes, you also feel their emotions like being angry, sad, hurt and excluded. Being able to predict how other people might feel is a part of emotional intelligence (EQ ), a skill we can all develop with practice. When we understand how other people are likely to feel, it can guide our interactions and dealings with them.

By nature, people are extremely self-centered. Everyone tries to look at a situation from their own perspective hardly empathizing any situation and try to look at it from the other side. Sometimes we just fail to comprehend the situation because we make decisions quicker than we thought. Our peripheral vision is blurred due to our easy to 

judge behavior.

When we understand other people's feelings, it actually requires a threshold level of empathy to even be aware of what others feel. Most of us are not able to understand other people's feelings. We are too preoccupied with our own shortcomings that we failed to notice that there are still other beings out there who suffered more than we've been through.

Though life is a matter of choice; our willingness to listen and understand other's predicament can help boost their morale. This is easier said than done. In reality, we are quick to make assumptions without digging deeper what makes them act or do such foolish actions that made them suffer than satisfied.

I can understand that it is really difficult to feel what other people feels because some people are not willing to listen. We just need to regard people not on what they do but what their situation is because when it comes to understanding others, we seldom use our heart. Most often than not, we use our mouth to speak harsh words to others rather than let our emotions speak the truth.

We are more considerate when we listen with our hearts than our ears. We need to learn how to accept our mistakes before we can understand the mistakes of others. Most sensible people understand. But it does not mean that they are mean. It just happened that they focused mostly on themselves rather than on other people.

People who regularly have outbursts of anger, depression or flamboyant enthusiasm are generally frowned upon in their childhood experience. There are some children who suffered emotional trauma in their formative years because of parents' neglect. True, we have to be patient in understanding their situation but it doesn't mean that we are going to tolerate such display of inappropriate behavior. If they are not corrected right now, then they will become liabilities of the society than assets.

But never ever assume everything is fine just because someone isn't having a nervous breakdown. We all have our individual problems, angst and upsets in life. We just have to be sensitive with the underlying currents that made them who they are. It gives us an advantage in trying to help.

Emphatic understanding is very important especially if we want to know what others have been through.

http://ezinearticles.com/?You-Cannot-Fully-Understand-A-Persons-Need-Until-You-Have-Endured-The-Same-Need&id=9774840

Happiness Is Easily Achieved If You Have Humility and Empathy for Humanity, Unprompted, of Course

Finding ways to be content is easily achieved, especially if you apply humility along with appreciation. In my observation, you gain more satisfaction through the accomplishment of small deeds. When compounded, small deeds, added to the overall scope to be reviewed, provides the most reason for gratitude and thankfulness.

When small deeds and feats get measured collectively, it's the small details that bring major success. For example: Your husband buys pizza for dinner-on his way home from work, unprompted, wow, that's really cool... That is an example of a small deed that rendered major success and appreciation, right ladies? Another example: The service that comes to your home and picks up your recycle items, and old furniture, actually came into your house and picked up the heavy couch and carried it out for you! That was really very kind and helpful! The last time that I checked, I could not carry out a couch by myself- my spouse was at work! That deed really, really made me happy and I was grateful all day!

Can you name a few deeds that you received, or that you did,which brought you a lot of joy or happiness? How about cooking dinner for your retired, next door neighbor? Or, helping a senior citizen pack their groceries into their car? That my friend will probably bring you more heartfelt joy and good karma than even you can expect! Your emotions are through the moon with joy and gratitude! You feel almost as much joy as if you had reaped the benefit from doing something helpful or joyful for another kind, good- natured soul. Just so you are aware and know- there is always a higher road to take to bring joy into the interactions you have with others, during the course of your day!

* It takes just a few minutes or even seconds to lend a helping hand to someone else besides family and friends. ~ Random acts of unprompted kindness is really showcasing your good nature, nobody else notices, but you know that you helped someone- THAT's humanity at its finest! Acting and conducting themselves in kindness, expecting NO reciprocal benefit is truly an unselfish gift! Have you even fathomed that your acts of kindness can have a domino-effect on the energy, and the people in your everyday life? It's true! Children watch what adults do and they tend to mimic or emulate most, if not all of your deeds. Doing kind deeds is a good example for children to see, they may be prompted to want to duplicate, or recreate, even when nobody else is around!~

Random acts of kindness can be done at the drop of a hat. Give someone at the grocery store line, holding one item, your place in line, especially if they are directly behind you... Wouldn't you want for someone else to do the same kind deed for you? When compounded, small deeds, added to the overall scope, of daily living, when reviewed, provides the most reason for gratitude and thankfulness.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Happiness-Is-Easily-Achieved-If-You-Have-Humility-and-Empathy-for-Humanity,-Unprompted,-of-Course&id=9620664

Message From the Universe: Happiness and Unhappiness Dilemma

"No one can be both happy and unhappy at the same time, right?

One blights the other.

So here's what we do: Pick ANY reason to be happy, and unhappiness gets locked out.

And we do it forever.

Yeah, "OMG!" 

The Universe"

Pretty simple technique right? When you feel down, when you feel sad or depressed, instead of talking about it with others and crave empathy along the way, the ONLY thing you do is continue feeling sad and depressed and feeding these negative emotions that will continue to haunt you for weeks or months. Let's say you just ended a relationship or a marriage. It is obvious that a feeling of depression and extreme sadness will kick in and make you feel like crap for the next few weeks, months or even years, depending on how much it hurts. You will seek family and friends assistance to go through this ordeal and hopefully take the time to heal and move on with your life. It will not be an easy path at all and you will need to invest time on yourself to cope with this sadness and depression. Time will heal all wounds, and once you've given the time to do so, you need to move on. the best revenge to the one who pained you is a fresh new start and moving forward. the culprit always wishes that the victim continues to feel like crap for the rest of their life, thinking that they have such a great impact in your life. Do not give them that pleasure. Get up, go out with friends, start fresh, go on dates with someone better looking and enjoy being single. Never let anyone control how you live your life from this point forward. No one deserve this power.

There is no space for unhappiness in your life. You should focus on doing things that make you happy. Sometimes, forgetting or denying events that hurts you is a good start for forgiveness. I am not saying that you should remain in that denial state of mind, but it can help you trigger moving on with your life, especially during the first few weeks after break up. Just remember that if it didn't work out with that person, that means that someone better is just around the corner. You need to be open to accepting someone else in your life. Being close minded will not help you moving on and keeping on talking about your resentment and anger towards the person who broke your heart will not enable you to take that leap forward. You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs and by you meeting people, going on dates, entering into relationship, learning from your previous lessons and putting the effort on making yourself a better person will make the next relationship closer to ultimate success. If you don't try, you will never succeed. It is by failing that you get better at things, and that goes the same for business, personal and spiritual. Eliminate fear from your mind and focus on tackling whatever comes your way. This is what life should be about.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Happiness-and-Unhappiness-Dilemma&id=9659523