Why Can't We Keep Things Simple?

I love this funny yet wise quote: Monkeys are superior to men in this - When a monkey looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey. ~Malcolm de Chazal.

Interpret it in whatever way you want. But you can't deny that this quote is saying that a monkey only sees a monkey in the mirror. But if you give a man/woman a mirror, he/she would see more than a man/woman.

We have judgments, pre-conceived ideas, interpretations of what if/what is supposed to be and so on. We make it so complicated for ourselves that we become the cause of our misery, granted on some days we allow ourselves to be happy. More often than not, we gravitate towards the negative, and for no good reason.

In our grandparents' time or even great-grandparents' time, things were less complicated. I do not mean that they do not have to deal with their mindsets, but they had less of a challenge because their world was larger than life and anything else. Now, we live in a reality where the world is so much smaller. Speaking to someone thousands of miles away is no longer an issue, our letters sent electronically is received within a second.

With the fast pace, it just means we have become far more impatient for our own good. This adds to our stress levels and in turn, cause our bodies to react, AND in the long-term -- health challenges.

So having a human experience means, we have difficulty keeping things simple. Notice that I did not say "being human means we have difficulty keeping things simple"? This is where many fall into a big misconception that being humans means that we are forever fated for failure and craziness.

Whenever we falter, people will give us an excuse and say, you are just being human. I find no fault in this; however, the issue is that it binds us to this human-ness and we often fall back into this as an excuse not to do better.

Of course, on the other end of the spectrum, we do have perfectionists, who will not allow themselves to make mistakes. And this inevitably translates into misery and disappointment with self and other people.

So what am I saying? Swinging on either side of the spectrum makes us stuck on this idea that being human means we can never reach there. Where is there?

This is not a place, but a state of mind.

While having human experiences means we find difficulty keeping things simple, but being human means something else altogether. I personally believe that this whole thing about the human experience from drama to enlightenment is a pathway for us to become our highest potential.

I read this about two decades ago, and I really like it: the sound HU in ancient Egyptian times was the sound of divinity, and when sounded, it allows us to connect to the inner core of our beings, bringing us back to the essence of our power and to where/when we were created within our hearts.

When combined with the word MAN -- HU-MAN, it means we are mortal beings with our core connected to the sound of divinity.

Isn't this interpretation so divine? I like it a lot. I love to think that all these dramas that we experience will eventually bring us to enlightenment, and this is what being human is all about. The human experiences are merely opportunities for us to find our way. There is no other way to learn and grow except to experience the lessons.

We are not our experiences. They are methods for us to get there.

So when we say we are just being human -- we need to remember this: in all the complications we experience it is our inner urge and desire to become more enlightened.

An enlightened mind simplifies and comes to a full circle of their human experiences and becomes a HU-MAN BEING, in the most real sense.

(Does it mean the monkey is more enlightened than the human? I imagine some of you asking, the answer is of course no. The monkey is simple, but not enlightened because it doesn't have all the human experiences of drama)

So, the next step, how do we simplify and uncomplicate things, and become less affected by drama?

https://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Cant-We-Keep-Things-Simple?&id=9986017

2 Steps to Overcome Negative Thinking to Better Deal With Stress

Most of us have heard the saying: The optimist sees the glass half full, while the pessimist sees it half-empty.

In its simplest terms, positive thinking is optimism and negative thinking is pessimism. It is an attitude towards life, yourself and particular predicaments and events in life.

Negative thinkers, tend to see the negative in everything, even in the most positive situations, and they dwell in that negativity, so they are much less equipped to deal with stress that then has more of an impact on their health.

People who are negative on a regular basis do not necessarily do this intentionally. Negative thoughts are often automatic reactions to unexpected crises, challenges, stresses and disappointments. For some, negative thinking is a natural reaction to life no matter the circumstances, as they habitually focus on the negative in any given situation.

For example, a negative thinker gets a raise at work, and automatically thinks it's not enough money. A negative thinker who is graduating from college may miss a wonderful moment because they dwell on not graduating with honors.

Negative thoughts can creep in everyday situations, no matter how positive one's day may actually be, like a wife whose husband cleaned the house as a surprise, and all she can focus on is the areas he missed.

Negative thinking is typically a thought process that is well engrained in the mind from years of repetition, where one automatically focuses on the negative instead of seeing the positive.

Children who grow up in dysfunctional families with critical parents often adopt this style of thinking because critical parents tend to focus on everything that is wrong, and negativity becomes commonplace, so that even when that child does good things, they are often overlooked

Follow these 2 steps to help you with overcoming negative thinking patterns.

STEP 1: IDENTIFYING NEGATIVE THINKING PATTERNS

A negative nature can be overcome by identifying negativity and sources of negativity, and taking conscious steps towards becoming a more positive person. Take the time to evaluate if any of these apply to you:

Filtering: In filtering, negative thinkers will magnify the negative aspects of a given situation and filter out any positive elements. For example, a negative thinker gets a raise and focuses on the fact that it's too small or a student gets an A- on a paper, and is upset because it was not an A.

Personalizing: Personalizing is when one blames themselves whenever anything bad occurs, it is an automatic reaction. For example, you get rear ended, and blame yourself because you chose to turn onto the ill-fated street or a friend cancels a lunch date and you assume that it's because he or she does not want to see you.

Catastrophizing: One of the more volatile negative thinking patterns, and possibly most harmful to health and wellness is catastrophizing, which is when one automatically anticipates the worst-case scenario in any given situation. For example, you arrive late for work and know the rest of the day will be a disaster, or your child gets the flu and you automatically fear that he or she is sicker than they are.

Polarizing: Polarizing is common among perfectionists and negative thinkers who only see things in terms of good or bad. There is never a middle ground. They either view themselves as perfect or complete and total failures; a burden on emotional and mental health, where extremes can lead to chronic anxiety, and depression.

STEP 2: PINPOINTING YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

"If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one." 

- Cavett Robert

Identifying your negative thoughts is an important step in overcoming them. You may assume that you are already aware of your negativity, which may be true, but you may not be aware of what's causing it, the degree of it and how you naturally react to it.

1. Write down your negative thoughts as they occur. They might be an emotional reaction to something, or they might just be your everyday thoughts. You are looking for thoughts that cause you to feel upset or disenchanted. They could include blame, shame, perceived failure, or small problems that seem big. Write down the thought itself as well as anything else that is relevant, such as how it made you feel and why you thought it.

2. Determine the source(s) of your negative thoughts. Do you see any trends in the thoughts you wrote down? Is your negativity mainly in response to unexpected situations or is it due to common, everyday thoughts? Is it in response to someone or something in particular, or is it more of a self-confidence issue? Do you find yourself often using negative "absolute" terms such as never, nothing, anything, everyone, and no one.

3. Determine how you react to negative thoughts. Do you blow them into catastrophes? Do you dwell on them? The way that you react can intensify the negativity you experience, cause it to linger, or with a positive attitude, can cause the negativity to quickly dissolve.

These steps build awareness about your negativity and provide you with a starting point for tackling the problem. Once you know what you are up against, you will be more prepared to overcome it.

"The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful." 

- Tenzin Gyasto - the 14th Dalai Lama

http://ezinearticles.com/?2-Steps-to-Overcome-Negative-Thinking-to-Better-Deal-With-Stress&id=9375273

9 Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get Things Done

Here’s how to do it now and do it right.

Perfectionists are great procrastinators. Stalling until the last minute, they tear into a project with dust flying and complaints about insufficient time. Perfectionist-procrastinators are masters of the excuse that short notice kept them from doing the quality job they could have done.

But that’s hardly the only variety of procrastination. For others, it comes with a gnawing feeling of being fatigued, always behind. They try to tell themselves that they’re taking it easy and gathering their energies for a big new push, but procrastination differs markedly from genuine relaxation—it saves no time or energy. On the contrary, it drains both, leaving behind self-doubt and self-delusion instead.

We’re all busy. Every day promises a giant to-do list of people to see, projects to complete, emails to sift through and calls to make. Henri Nouwen’s classic book Making All Things New likens our lives to “overstuffed suitcases that are bursting at the seams.”

Feeling like there is forever far too much to do, we say we’re really under the gun this week. But working hard or even heroically to solve a problem is little to our credit if we created the problem in the first place. When most people refer to themselves as being under the gun, they want to believe the pressures and problems are not their fault. In most cases, though, the gun appeared after failure to do something in good time. Instead of being proactive early, they procrastinated until the due date became a crisis deadline.

One of the best escapes from the prison of procrastination is to take even the smallest steps toward your goals. People usually procrastinate because of fear and lack of self-confidence and, ironically, become even more afraid when under the gun. There are many ways to experiment and test new ground without risking the whole ball game on one play.

Experience has shown that when people go after a big goal all at once, they invariably fail. If you had to swallow a 12-ounce steak all at once, you’d choke. You have to cut the steak into small pieces and eat one bite at a time.

So it is with prioritizing. Proactive goal achievement means taking every project and cutting it up into bite-sized pieces. Each small task or requirement on the way to the ultimate goal becomes a mini goal in itself. Using this method, the goal becomes manageable. When mini mistakes are made, they are easy to correct. And with the achievement of each mini goal, the positive feedback motivates you to take on the next mini goal.

So step forward and do it now and do it right. To stop procrastinating and to be more proactive, do these nine things:

1. Set your wake-up time a half hour earlier tomorrow.

Use the extra time to think about the best way to spend your day.

2. Memorize and repeat this motto: “Action today, not tomorrow.”

Handle each piece of incoming mail only once. Answer your email either early in the morning or at the end of the day. Block out specific times to make phone calls, take phone calls and to meet people in person.

3. When people tell you their problems, give solution-oriented feedback.

Rather than taking on the problem as your own assignment, first, ask what’s the next step they plan to take, or what they would like to see happen.

4. Finish what you start.

Concentrate all your energy and intensity without distraction on successfully completing your current major project.

5. Be constructively helpful instead of unhelpfully critical.

Single out someone or something to praise instead of participating in group griping, grudge collecting or pity parties.

6. Make a list of five necessary but unpleasant projects you’ve been putting off, with a completion date for each project.

Immediate action on unpleasant projects reduces stress and tension. It is very difficult to be active and depressed at the same time.

7. Seek out and converse with a successful role model.

Learning from others’ successes and setbacks will inevitably improve production of any kind. Truly listen; really find out how your role models do it right.

8. Understand that fear, as an acronym, is False Evidence Appearing Real, and that luck could mean Laboring Under Correct Knowledge.

The more information you have on any subject, the less likely you’ll be to put off your decisions.

9. Accept problems as inevitable offshoots of change and progress.

With the rapid pace of change in society and business, you’ll be overwhelmed unless you view change as normal and learn to look for its positive aspects—such as new opportunities and improvements—rather than bemoan the negative.

There is no such thing as a “future” decision; there are only present decisions that affect the future. Procrastinators wait for just the right moment to decide.

And if you wait for the perfect moment, you’ll find yourself running in place, unwittingly digging yourself deeper into your rut. Get out of your comfort zone and go from procrastinator to proactive and productive.

Make your personal motto: “Stop stewing and start doing!”

http://www.success.com/article/9-ways-to-stop-procrastinating-and-get-things-done