Why The Obstacle Before You Is Never Bigger Than Your Power To Overcome It

Lean In To Your Difficulties

The reason you fear obstacles is that you doubt your ability to overcome them. Obstacles are seldom the problem, it is our lack of power to conquer them that gets in the way. For example, have you faced a difficult situation in the past and worried you would not make it through? Recall the circumstances and how you felt as best you can. Now fast forward months from when it occurred and call to mind the same situation from a renewed perspective. Can you see how insignificant it seems from your current outlook? That is, we feel incapable of overcoming challenges instead of believing we will be OK. Perhaps it's the element of surprise or the fear we are powerless to face the problem that scares us most.

It is what author and psychotherapist David Richo refers to in The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them when he says: "We worry because we do not trust ourselves to handle what happens to us. We worry because we do not trust that the way the chips fall will work out for the best. We worry because we have not yet said yes." Therein lies the issue: acknowledging the obstacle instead of wanting it to disappear. I'm not talking about unexpected events such as a speeding ticket or your romantic interest not returning a text message. Whilst I acknowledge this may cause distress for some people, I'm talking about larger issues that call on our deepest inner strength. Saying yes to what transpires means leaning in to your difficulties even though it may look untenable on the face of it. However, if approached with an open mind, we will overcome it and gain valuable insights.

No Other Choice Than To Be Courageous

Your inherent power is one of resiliency, determination and courage. Do you believe this power is available to you? Sometimes, we won't know the depths of our power until we are tested. I have faced many challenges throughout my life including the death of a parent and coming to terms with a life-threatening illness. I didn't realise I had the power to overcome those experiences until I had to. In the years that followed, I not only developed a greater strength of will, but the experiences softened me and I developed a humility towards life. I came to appreciate this entity called life is much greater than me. I came to look upon it with reverence and acknowledge that whilst I'm a small cog in the process called life, it functions perfectly irrespective of my thoughts.

Not everyone shares my outlook and that's fine. I wouldn't want to impress my views upon others because they are uniquely mine. I've met many people over the years who endured similar experiences and each person formed their own meaning of the events. Can you reflect on events in your own life that changed your outlook? Was the change for the better or were you angry with others, perhaps with life? It's hard to know how we will react in difficult moments. Sometimes there's no other choice than to face our hardships and step into battle with fierce determination and courage. For instance, if your loved one wants a divorce, you can wallow in self-pity and claim not to have seen the writing on the wall. You might experience sadness for months or brave through it as this is happening to you and see where it leads, not because you want to but because there is no other choice; sometimes there is no other choice than to be courageous.

Therein lies the key message of this article: when there's no other choice than to be strong, life calls us to exert our greatest strength because what we're experiencing may be bigger than we realise. When we don't have a choice other than to step into the fire, what awaits us on the other side is a journey of self-discovery, knowing we are more resilient and courageous than we imagined. It is what author Alex Pattakos refers to in Prisoners of Our Thoughts: Viktor Frankl's Principles for Discovering Meaning in Life and Work where he writes: "Courage is not the absence of fear but the awareness there is something more important." I'm reminded of those who lose their homes in a fire or their life savings to scrupulous insurance companies who undermine their trust or those whose family members betray them. These things happen to good people everyday and many of them have no other choice than to face their challenges. By leaning in to them, we develop the capacity to yield to the forces that oppose us. We learn the obstacle is never bigger than our power to overcome it. It is our willingness to move towards it with faith and determination, trusting the experience itself, which will activate our inherent power.

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We All Encounter Setbacks In Life, Yet We Mustn't Allow Ourselves To Ever Be Defeated

We Mustn't Give Up Hope Of A Better Future

If you let your defeats conquer you, they will penetrate your psyche and erode your character. Setbacks are unavoidable in this journey called life and none of us are immune to them. If you are reading this now, you no doubt live in the Western world and have access to technology which makes you more privileged than millions of others living in poverty. I mention this because life in the Western world comes with its privileges and its downsides.

Defeat is sewn into the fabric of our existence and it accompanies us our entire life whether it be our: health, relationships, career or financial. Every one of us has a story where defeat gained a foothold into our minds. Some people recoil from the pain while others rise to the challenge and overcome their barriers to defeat. Can you identify with this narrative? Have there been moments in your life when you experienced setbacks and thought you wouldn't bounce back, yet you did? We are all tested in some form or another, some more than others and whilst it may not be fair, this doesn't mean life is unjust. Those who overcome defeat learn quickly that to judge life based on fairness does not award them any more power than the next person.

Unfortunate things happen to good people and one need only turn on the news to see the situation in Greece with the fires and the earthquake in Indonesia where the death toll continues to rise into the hundreds. Challenges are everywhere, but we mustn't give up hope of a better future. We mustn't believe we are powerless in the face of our defeats. Sometimes it may feel life imposes itself upon us in a cruel and unjust way. We may want to retreat until we feel ready to emerge again. This isn't necessarily a bad plan though we mustn't stay down or else our self-esteem and character will be compromised if we don't confront our challenges.

Make The Best Of Our Hardships

When speaking in front of audiences or coaching clients, I often ask people to think back to a time in their life that shaped their character. Similarly, I invite you to reflect on moments when you experienced hardship or defeat yet overcame it? What lessons did you learn and what skills or qualities did you develop? People often say they didn't think they had the inner strength and the resiliency to overcome their setbacks and this reaffirms why we must face our challenges with an open mind and a soft heart. We can't allow life to extinguish our inner light because once it goes out it will be difficult to rekindle the promise of hope, faith and enthusiasm.

I can't explain why unpleasant things happen to us, nor would I want the burden of trying to figure it out. I've come to the realisation it is a waste of time and energy trying to understand why unfortunate things happen. If I look for the meaning in life's events, I become mired in the problem and move further away from a solution. However, if I accept it and rise again to shake the fragments of defeat off my shoulder, I realise life isn't a tale about being knocked down, but it's about how many times we rise that makes the difference. Similarly, it's of little use to justify life being fair or unfair since this is not beneficial and relieves us of our power to respond affirmatively. If we can summon our inner power and make the best of our hardships, we can sail into smoother waters knowing there will be times when the sea of life will be rough, yet when the storm passes it will be smooth sailing once again. It is what the acclaimed Brazilian author of The Alchemist Paulo Coelho refers to in a recent tweet when he said: "The more violent the storm, the quicker it passes."

I'd like for you to walk away after reading this article and get a sense that setbacks are part of the human condition, though we mustn't be defeated by them. If we do, we risk losing ourselves to what the late holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl reiterated through his writing and teachings; our ability to choose our attitude. Frankl's passage from Man's Search for Meaning underscores that our attitude is the last remaining hope after everything is taken away from us, as was the case when he lost his family in the concentration camps of Nazi Germany: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." You are not the product of your defeats because they are teaching points from which to cultivate your greatest strength, should you rise above them. For in overcoming our impediments, we discover the depth of our character and an abiding spirit of resiliency that follows us throughout life ever more.

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If I Could: A Hopeful Prayer for Healing

If I could, I'd wash away the sadness.

I would wrap you in my arms and hold you against me, pressed against my chest. I would protect you from everything that makes you unhappy and reduces your spirit. Gently, I'd wipe away the tears and hold gently your head between my hands, looking you deep in the eyes, reminding you without words that I am with you no matter what comes. We'd embrace again, a little too long; yet as we pulled apart, we'd eke out delicate smiles as we went our separate ways for the day, confident in the awareness that we'd be together safely again come evening.

If it was up to me, I'd banish the fear.

Standing bullishly, steel-tower upright and strong; arms crossed over my chest, facing into the bleak; I'd defend you as you stood behind me. Nothing would pass to bring you agony. No harm could penetrate. An invisible shield lovingly guarding you from all that might bring to you hurt, or cause you to cower fearfully in the dark places. The soft, bright, warm glow of inner strength would flood over you until you again could stand tall beside me. At that point, arm-in-arm, the two of us would face the day, supported by each other, looking forward to the future once again.

If it was in my power, I'd eliminate the worries.

I would keep us in the present, realizing all that happened has gone and what is yet to come is powerless until it appears. We would rejoice in the Now, infused with the awareness that, in this moment, at this point in time, despite the maelstrom that swirls around us near and far, we are safe and secure and together. Remembering that this moment is all we have; for the past cannot be changed and the future is still a formless shadow. Anxiety would subside. We'd breathe deeply again, filling our lungs with peaceful calm, and savor the perfect moment of the here and now.

If there was a way to accomplish it, I'd heal away the illness.

Should it be something of which I was capable, I'd wave a wand, or pray to God, or meditate in silence high atop a summit; forcing away the sickness that has enveloped us. There would be no virus; no death counts on the television nor health alerts published in the news. Social distancing would become an oxymoron as we'd crowd together in too-tight spaces, overjoyed to be close to friends and even to strangers. We would hug each other with joy and abandon. Masks would be reserved for costume balls and Halloween parties. We'd all together raise our glasses and sing songs to the rafters of happiness and health.

Should I have my druthers, things would be different.

We would celebrate the small events and praise the educated and the health care providers for keeping us in strong well-being. Our classrooms and playgrounds would again be full with the unbounded eagerness of children, keen to learn and play. Patrons would flood out from movie theaters at the end of a summer blockbuster, their excited chatter filling the parking lot, as they went their many ways, driving to bustling restaurants and bars and standing in lines waiting, fearlessly, for tables in crowded establishments. There would be no reminders on the floor to "stand here" and hand sanitizer would never again be a pre-condition to enter a building.

If it was my decision, things would be so unlike they appear today.

There would be more joy and fewer tears. Politics would be a healing force, not one used to create more "us" and "them." There would not be videos of department store customers tossing merchandise on the floor, acting like screaming ghouls because they were asked to protect the public health. Group homes would not instill fear, but rather stand for protection and support; as they are supposed to do. We would no longer cross the street to avoid passersby, instead continuing on, even waving and possibly shaking hands.

Alas, these powers are not mine to have nor give.

Therefore, as we go through these trying times together, I wish for each of us that we stay healthy, keep strong, hold each other close in love and light, and know that there is a new, bright, sunny day waiting for us when we rise again; which most assuredly we will do.

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How to Work With Demotivation (When You Just Don't Want To... )

We all face situations in life we don't like. There are always those projects or tasks that just have to be done that we'd rather not do. There are always going to be times when we have to work with demotivation.

Part of maturity and taking responsibility for our lives is doing the things that need to be done, and doing them well whether or not we're in the mood.

Here are some strategies you can use that may help you to deal with those kinds of activities you'd rather not have to:

1. Get really clear on the project or task you need to complete

2. Completely relax your body from head to toe (take a few minutes to do this), focusing on the point just below your navel. This is known as your lower Dantien, a point of focus, balance and inner strength. Concentrating on this point helps you feel more centred, more solid and more grounded.

3. From this place of focus, fully accept that the project or task needs to be done and that it will be dealt with either by you or someone else.

4. Establish/list what aspects of the task or project put you off

5. Take each hindrance and find a way around it, eg:

· Task is too big (can you make it smaller?)

· I can't do it on my own (can you get help? Who from?)

· It's dirty, grimy (can you view this as a character-building exercise?)

· I don't understand it/don't have the right training (can you get the right training or support?)

· It's too boring (can you find a way to make it more fun?)

6. Create space for the completion of the project or task. Decide when you are going to finish the project/task. Be aware that you may not finish it by the exact end date you put on it, but the fact you now have a timeframe can help to galvanise you and motivate you go get busy.

Establishing timeframes can, however, be a double-edged sword. Whereas a well estimated timeframe can do wonders to get you moving, a badly estimated one can not only add to your general stress levels, but also deflate you if the bigger part of you is convinced you'll never be able to meet it.

The trick is to get good, with practice, at setting timeframes for yourself for whatever you do on a daily basis. How long do you need to prepare dinner? How long do you need to drive to work and back? How quickly can you get this report completed? How long do you expect to take to get the car fixed?

By beginning to put timeframes on the things you do every day, you'll begin to get a better feel for your pace and, more importantly your style of working when demotivation begins to set in. With time, it then becomes easier to gauge just how long important projects and activities will take you and you'll be better able to communicate this to those around you.

If it's not your timeframe but someone else's, aim to complete your task or project before the end of theirs. Essentially you're setting a timeframe within a timeframe. If it is getting close to the end date try your best to finish it by that date. If this really is not possible, ask for a reasonable but definite extension - e.g. an extra seven days, an extra 14 days, an extra hour etc.

Ensure you will definitely complete the activity by the end of that extension period, as requesting a second postponement may begin to cast doubt on your self-belief in your own eyes, and your credibility in the eyes of those around you.

Adopting these strategies when you don't feel like doing something you know needs to be completed, you'll begin to see significant and positive shifts in how you work with demotivation.

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How To Find Inner Strength And Maximize Personal Fulfillment

"If you hear a voice within you say you can not paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced." Vincent Van Gogh

We frequently make every effort to fill that space in between exactly what we've got and exactly what we desire focusing our attention on what we think we lack.

This weakens us!

Are we investing so much time and energy attempting to get up to speed where we are doing nothing, and find that we miss out on the chance to take advantage of and make the most of the strengths, skills, and resources that we currently have?

Humankind's manmade illusory forces based on assumptions and projections shut down the idea of being one with our Creator, so that you remain in a mode of littleness that leads to loneliness and loathsomeness.

With regard to abilities, if you discover an ability but doubt or fear it, it might still assist you to get only a "little" better, however you will not experience personal fulfillment.

Rather, as you develop your strengths, by uncovering your inner power, abilities will in fact show most important when they are integrated with authentic skill.

Are you prepared to get familiarized with finding real inner strength?

You might be amazed by exactly what uncovers as your strengths even though it makes sense once you believe it without fear and doubt or judgement.

I mean that when you are utilizing your strengths which is one factor why we do not acknowledge them, life will start to welcome you.

To us our inner power looks like no huge offer, or we believe everybody believes that way.

Let me explain by asking you:

Where are you losing time on something that is not honoring your leading skills and strengths?

Allow those jobs to be handed over to somebody who has the strength to do it remarkably better than you?

How can you establish your service or business and even your household so that individuals included are establishing their strengths?

If the brand-new ability is in line with one of your strengths you will discover it much easier to take full advantage of that ability which is constructed on a strength.

How can you take exactly what you've got and optimize it filled with hope and faith to make a favorable effect in your life and the life of others?

I mean beginning Now!

Previously I discussed how to live the life you imagine now by letting go of feeling hopeless.

Are we investing so much time and energy being hopeless and attempting to get up to speed where we are not taking action, and thus missing out on the chance to take advantage of and make the most of our inner power?

Are we too busy being set in complacency waiting for some outside power to deliver us the resources and skills we need to accomplish our heroic mission?

If there are resources you need to be aligned with your true free will, your inner power will discover how to locate and take full advantage of resources you never before realized were available.

The world will be there to help.

Rather than feeling worried and anxious and calling out through the ego-based mind-- which may start hounding you about loss and lack, only leading to a disastrous drain on your emotions quickly, go within and uncover your inner Light.

- Do so by talking to yourself like you would an old friend in need.

- Ask, "How would I advise a goof friend who is having a similar problem?"

- Then tell yourself you are now living in the light and not darkness.

By uncovering the Light, this will eliminate or undo much of the ego clutter of lack trying to be in control.

The Course in Miracles states, "Decide for the answer and you will have it, for you will see it as it is, and it is yours already."

As the ego chatter fades a new formula will begin conquering what is obstructing the way and renewed inner strength will take over.

If you're still in a bit of a stymie, take one step toward action of some sort, even if it's just a simple phone call to someone for help.

Or, the action could be preparing a checklist of things you can do next.

Do something to shine light on the problems one at a time, and insist to yourself that you must start taking some sort of action.

No matter what, as long as you're moving in the right direction, you will be uncovering a creative attitude supporting productive action.

This new inner power, or, mindfulness muscle, we may say, was not found or delivered to you from somewhere "out there," but it was uncovered from within you.

(Be sure to seek the net for further helpful content on topics like, ways to overcome adversity and get the life you want with a happy life.)

To your inner power!

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Find-Inner-Strength-And-Maximize-Personal-Fulfillment&id=9952318

Developing Self Worth - Tips for Being True to Yourself (By Deb Hawken)

There was a time in my life that I was considered to be a complete idiot by just about everyone who knew me. I was the 'family nervous wreck', the constant worrier that my ex-husband had married, the idiot in a miserable relationship who didn't have the courage to walk away, and a hypochondriac. I had exactly two people on my side who knew the real me, the rest were alternately rolling their eyes and laughing, not always behind my back.

Now I'm not just talking about some people, or any old random people. I'm talking about my own family, my so-called friends, and my work colleagues - who I now realise were amongst the cruellest people I've ever met. Close people who were in my life every day. I did have some good people too. Two extremely supportive friends, my amateur dramatic group, and my parents-in-law, who were my greatest supporters.

Fast forward to today, and if you met me you wouldn't believe that I was the same person, and in truth I'm not. Which is exactly where I'm going to start:

Tip 1 - Become Someone Else

If you want to change your life in a real way you must be prepared to change as a person. Whatever has sapped your confidence, self-respect, and self-worth, must be changed. Now, you can make cosmetic changes, such as a new relationship or a new job, but if you don't make deep inner changes to the person you are, you will still fall into the old patterns. I think, act, and am a completely different person to the one I described to you above.

Suggestion: Don't think of your character as set in stone, think of yourself as work in progress, and very much in charge of that process. You can change your character any time you wish, and if you do your thoughts, actions and reactions will change.

Tip 2 - Take Control of Your Thoughts

Your mind is not a runaway train in your head, nor is it a nebulous object floating somewhere outside your reach. Your mind is in your head and under your control. You can choose what you think about every minute of every hour of every day. And the type of thoughts you think will change how you feel inside. The more you practice good, positive thoughts, the better you will feel. Happy people feel stronger, and they have more energy for life, as such they are better at tackling challenges than people who are emotionally and mentally exhausted by sad and difficult thoughts.

Exercise: Every time you think of something that makes you feel miserable, angry, or sad, make a conscious decision to stop and think about one of the happiest times of your life. Create that memory in as much detail as you can, feel how happy you felt at that time. Do this every time you feel negative.

Tip 3 - Stop Listening to Others

The world and its brother will have opinions about you, but if you want to rebuild yourself into a person who has self-worth, via self-confidence and self-respect, then you need to pull back into yourself and start making your own decisions. Yes, maybe you were a certain person yesterday, but as of now, as you are reading this, you have just changed. It's vitally important if you are to succeed, that you own this fully as your process. For the first time in your life you are going to consciously define you.

Remember: Those confident people you envy have made up their minds who they are, and whilst they have the confidence to listen to others, they only take on board what they hear if it feels right for them to do so. As of now, you are one of those people.

Tip 4 - The A, B, C List

I was taught this years ago and the concept has served me well. You need to assess the people in your life at every step. This is not to say judge them, but make self-protective decisions about the people you know. We humans have a tendency to declare random people to be friends, and to believe that our close family will love and like us no matter what; sadly this is often not the case. However, with no lack of love towards fallible human beings, you must make strong decisions about who you listen to.

A List: People who you trust completely to have your best interests at heart. They know you very well and are honest but supportive. You will always listen, and more than likely act on their advice.

B List: People you like, you may come to trust them fully, but you're not sure at the moment how well they know you or how loyal they are, so you will listen but make a judgement call.

C List: They are not your tribe, they don't have your best interests at heart, and you will not listen to them.

If you use this idea, you will find it much easier to be yourself. And that is the key to self-worth.

Tip 5 - Breathe and Forgive

There are 7 billion people on this planet, not one of whom is perfect. Sad as it is, if you research you will discover questions around even the greatest of spiritual leaders, such as Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Mother Theresa. Like us they were human, and like us, not everyone agreed with them. So, it's important that you relax, stop beating yourself up for the mistakes and missteps of the past, and allow yourself to be an ordinary human being.

Thought: One of the biggest blocks to creating self-worth is to keep going over every mistake you've ever made. There comes a time to say, "What's done is done" and move forward. Now is that time.

Developing Self Worth

The tips I've given you above are the foundations for building a new you who trusts and likes themselves. We all have:

• The flexibility to define who we are
• The ability to control and direct our thoughts
• The capability to block the negative emotions of others
• The observation skills to be able to decide who we trust
• The need to forgive the past and move forward

Next, we need to get real.

People have all kinds of fancy theories as to what self-confidence and self-worth are, and I would suggest to you that these two things are inextricably linked, and together create self-respect and inner strength, but we need to deal with your reality.

The reality is that if you feel bad in any relationships, if you're surrounded by people who don't fully support you, if you hate your job, your face, your figure, your home, your car, and your romantic life is a disaster, you will not find it easy to gain self-worth.

However, if you're prepared to change those things one step at a time, and to get real about how you feel about your life, and act on your inner truth no matter what anyone else thinks, you have an excellent chance of changing your life completely, and for the better.

In changing you, you will by default change your life, and then the sadness that's been eating away at you for far too long will be removed.

I will follow up in the next couple of days with an article called Consciously Creating Self Worth.

To your happiness

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If The Struggle Is Real, It's Worth It In The End

Emotional Intensity

The American novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote a letter to his daughter Scottie in 1940 stating, "Life is essentially a cheat and its conditions are those of defeat; the redeeming things are not happiness and pleasure but the deeper satisfactions that come out of struggle."

Struggle is tied closely to the human condition, a simmering battle of opposing forces. It lurks amidst the anguish of opportunity and seizes upon us in moments of weakness.

The struggle is obvious, whether you're engaged in chasing your dreams or caught up in the grind of everyday living.

Embedded in each person's struggle is a purpose waiting to unfold.

Yet, many people never make it this far because the struggle intensifies their pain, and they quit even while they are ahead.

"Everything in your life - especially your challenges - is tailor-made to help you see your stories of struggle. Whatever is in the way is the way!" avows author Mary O'Malley in What's in the Way Is the Way: A Practical Guide for Waking Up to Life.

In fact, the biggest impediments faced during times of struggle are the thoughts that get in the way.

Just think of the last time you were enraged and considered writing an abrasive email, yet came back to it the following day.

I'm sure your emotional intensity waned, and you no longer felt the same. Why is that?

The point I wish to emphasise, is that your thoughts and their corresponding emotions are real. You experience their intensity and feel compelled to act on them.

Not necessarily.

Feel the emotions, but avoid being trapped by their impulsiveness.

Running away from pain only intensifies it. Explore the emotions by all means but don't stuff them down.

The issue is that you are trapped in your thoughts and are overstating what is taking place. You assign a storyline not reflecting reality.

"Struggles only persist when we search outside for causes and cures," asserts sports psychologist Garret Kramer in The Path of No Resistance: Why Overcoming is Simpler than You Think.

Looking back on history, the greatest stories arise from pain and struggle.

Joseph Campbell's mythological narrative of the Hero's Journey draws on twelve distinct themes, the two main encounters being: Crossing The Threshold and The Ordeal.

This same narrative is the basis of every successful Hollywood film. The main character experiences an obstacle in the beginning, only to overcome it in the end.

The American writer Mark Twain said, "Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't."

What transpires is more inexplicable than can be imagined.

We identify with this narrative because it is the human story we know all too well.

These forces are sewn into the fabric of life, designed to help you discover your greatness if you dare.

Resistance and Struggle

I value author and social researcher Brené Brown's perspective in Rising Strong: "But I'm learning that the process of struggling and navigating hurt has as much to offer us as the process of being brave and showing up."

Inner growth does not occur without resistance and struggle. Those with financial riches are not immune to life's challenges.

The struggle is the seed that gives life to the unfolding story that beckons you to explore.

What if your struggles have actually laid the foundations for something greater to emerge?

Is it worth exploring?

If there's a compelling enough reason, it may ultimately lead you to success. Nothing should stand in the way if your motives are strong enough.

"People who cheat want to avoid the struggle, the cost, or the fight. They don't know the truth about winning: Nothing of value in this world comes easy. The only way to get anywhere worthwhile is to go to work," states author Larry Weidel in Serial Winner: 5 Actions to Create Your Cycle of Success.

Rest if you must, take a break however long, but don't give up because you interfere with the unfolding story if you exit midway.

How can you maintain a hopeful outlook during uncertain times you ask?

The Struggle Is Real and Worth It

                            

First, embrace the struggle, the pain and the disappointment.

By associating with it, you appreciate the goal or dream is real. The frustration, the heartache and misery is inviting you to reach higher.

Recall the Hero's Journey?

No one portrays this more persuasively than former President of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt, in a speech entitled Man in the Arena. "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."

Don't run away from the struggle as it will linger longer than you want it to.

Consider it an old friend who comes to stay for a while, yet is still sleeping on your couch six months later.

The struggle is not constrained by a timeline nor concerned by your disappointments. When it ushers into your life, it will turn you inside out and entrench itself deep within your psyche.

So invite it in, make it a cup of tea since it will be staying longer. Become acquainted with what it wants you to know and why it has called upon you.

Identify with the struggle and don't defeat it sooner because it will assuredly overstay its welcome if you force it to leave.

Author Mary O'Malley states, "In fact, everything in your life is a part of the journey into recognizing and living from a place that is beyond struggle."

Then one day, the struggle will disappear in search of another person to befriend.

Bid farewell and be ready to welcome the next episode; reward. When she sweeps in, it will be as though the struggle was a moment frozen in time.

It is with that we return to F. Scott Fitzgerald's opening quote and draw your attention to the deeper satisfactions of our lives emerge out of struggle.

Were it not for the pain, how would you know the depths of your character?

For hidden within the recesses of your soul lies the need for glory, made apparent as struggle.

http://ezinearticles.com/?If-The-Struggle-Is-Real,-Its-Worth-It-In-The-End&id=9604557

A Challenge Only Becomes An Obstacle When You Bow To It

To remain indifferent to the challenges we face is indefensible. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. I don't run away from a challenge because I am afraid. Instead, I've learned that success comes in a very prickly package.

Success is due to our stretching to the challenges of life. Failure comes when we shrink from them. Challenge is the pathway to engagement and progress in our lives. But not all challenges are created equal. Some challenges make us feel alive, engaged, connected, and fulfilled. Others simply overwhelm us.

Life is a series of punches. It presents a lot of challenges that presents other challenges. Then sometimes it all comes together. The challenges of change are always hard. It is important that we begin to unpack those challenges that confront us and realize that we each have a role that requires us to change and become more responsible for shaping our own future.

Don't give up! It's not over. The universe is balanced. Every set-back bears with it the seeds of a come-back. The key to life is accepting challenges. No one is without troubles, without personal hardships and genuine challenges.

When we come to understand this, we live our lives not avoiding problems, but welcoming them as challenges that will strengthen us so that we can be victorious in the future.Sometimes the darkest challenges, the most difficult lessons, hold the greatest gems of light. hose who mistrust their own abilities are being too wicked to themselves, discouraging themselves from doing what they should have been excelling in.

Optimal experience is thus something that we make happen. Changes are inevitable and not always controllable. But once the pain subsides, the gifts remain. Never let anyone bring you down. You got to keep going. You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage.

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.

I overcame the challenges because I just decided to be happy. Everything that has happened to me in my life has defined who I am, and all of the things leading up to my being a researcher and a writer, all came from overcoming challenges in childhood and overcoming challenges as I got older especially in my failed marriage. I realized that hurdles aren't really hurdles at all. They're welcome challenges, tests. The ones that should not scare us are the ones we can take on and take control of.

It's easy to look at the things of this world to solve our challenges and obstacles in life, but when we submit our lives to Christ, His grace, mercy, peace and love will bring true fulfillment to our lives.

No matter what kind of challenges or painful situations we go through in life, we can still find the inner strength to get through them.

http://ezinearticles.com/?A-Challenge-Only-Becomes-An-Obstacle-When-You-Bow-To-It&id=9666078

Dealing With Hurt (By a Psychologist)

How does one deal with sadness and negative thoughts?

As a Psychologist, I am continuously curious about this human phenomenon. I have felt it. And every time I do, I never fail to take notes from it. Thus, I have truly analyzed that this "sadness" has many forms and many sources. Also, the thousands of supportive researches provide some light on the matter.

We seemed to have been conditioned to believe that we need people to overcome our sadness. That it is almost impossible to be alone and at peace. That we need to be held by an external support. However, there is a huge difference between the above thought and reality.

Sadness, if defined at its best, is but a chemical reaction within ourselves. Emotionally though, it is more than just a mere feeling. However, there are ways to deal with it to eradicate its existence. Following are some basics that may help:

Practical attitude: Practical individuals have less difficulty coping with sadness. They are adept at forming logical explanations regarding varied situations. This ability relaxes their mind by suppressing anxiety of any kind. With a maintained self-confidence and a practical explanation of the events, they develop immunity towards the ill-effects of harmful emotions.

Accepting flaws: Peace comes with accepting one's entire self. Usually we accept our strengths easily and apologetically. But it's the flaws or mistakes that we have difficulty with. As much as we may know that we have them, we try to ignore them or keep them wrapped up. The more we stay in denial, the more fear of being exposed enters our minds. With this, we develop insecurities, jealousies and conflicts. Once we learn to accept ourselves the way we are and also love ourselves, there is immense peace and less scope for feelings of sadness.

Forgiveness: The more we hold on to grudges, the more we poison ourselves. And it's not just the grudges that we hold towards others. It is more about forgiving ourselves. We are so unable to love ourselves and in the end we find ourselves complaining about our own bodies and abilities. That is equal to hating ourselves. Thus, before we forgive others, we must also forgive ourselves of all the mistakes and regrets. It is absolutely necessary for us to be at peace with our own existence. Forgiving others releases the venomous toxicity that keeps suffocating us otherwise.

Self-motivation: While we are busy seeking for external factors to make us feel worthy, it is our own selves that must generate motivation. Will power, learning from mistakes and correcting regrets are important to an individual's wholesome personality.

Inner strength: The most vital factor to handling negative feelings is have internal strength. An individual has to have courage to face the situations rather than run from it. A person grows from his/her experiences and stressful situations make the person stronger. There has to be an absolute positive energy flowing within the individual's mind.

Silence: The power of silence is always underestimated. Too much conversation breeds unnecessary conflict. Also during arguments or debates, the presence of silence is important. One has to have a great deal of patience to listen before replying. An individual's strength can always be measured by the ability to be silent when provoked. When placed in a sad situation, a person only needs to be silent and meditate on the thoughts regarding the situation.

Harboring hope: As they say, the past is over but the future is yet to come, we must abide by this saying. Hope for the best in your life and it makes you a happy person. Hope gives us the strength to bear the burdens that are crushing us today. It is an abstract entity - this hope, but it is definitely a beautiful coping strategy.

Believing in oneself: Having faith in oneself is vital. To believe in the strength and ability of oneself to be able to stand your ground or achieve near impossible things should be a motto of your life. Confidence, success and happiness will follow the people who have faith in their own individuality.

Standing tall: Not the literal meaning of standing physically but standing your ground even in the midst of problems. It is definitely hard to battle feelings of sadness and negative thoughts, but it is not impossible. Like any other fight, there will be hurt and pain and also investment of energy. However, it will show you how strong you are and only contribute to your own strength.

Discipline: Having discipline in life is a must. Having discipline within your mind is equally important. There has to be a routine for you to engage in healthy thinking. You have to discipline your mind to only accept positive thoughts and vibes. Shutting out negativity and every toxic factor that would even intend to harm your mental health.

Above all, is the leading of a healthy life? Eating habits, sleep cycle, physical fitness and correct choices make an individual's life pleasant. The basic slogan for everyday life being "Less expectations equals to less disappointments... "

http://ezinearticles.com/?Dealing-With-Hurt&id=9334056

Claim Your Success!

How do successful people become successful? Why do their plans inevitably fall into place? Why do they seem immune to the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? How do they always manage to be in the right place at the right time? Are these individuals blessed with supreme good luck, or do they work harder than everyone else---or both?

Motivational psychologist and Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia University School of Business Heidi Grant Halvorson has done substantive research that explores how successful people become successful. Dr. Grant Halvorson is herself a highly successful professional, but unlike many charmed individuals who are often blissfully unaware of how and why they achieve their goals again and again, she is fully aware of how she became, and remains, successful. Here are four suggestions from Dr. Grant Halvorson's 2011 e-book, Nine Things Successful People Do Differently that may help all of us to create good luck for ourselves and use it to achieve important goals.

I. KEEP ON KEEPING ON

Be willing to commit to long-term goals and persevere in the face of difficulty. Studies show that those who are able to put shoulder to the wheel and push through adversity obtain more education in their lifetime and earn higher grade point averages in school. To help yourself along, plan specific actions that when followed will bring you to your goal. Devise a timeline for your action plan, monitor the efficacy of strategies and reward yourself when important milestones are reached.

II. BUILD WILLPOWER MUSCLES

Our self-control muscle is like any other of our muscles. When we don't use it, it eventually atrophies. Use it or lose it! Give your willpower muscle a good workout by taking on small challenges that compel you to do something that perhaps you'd rather not, e.g. taking on a home cleaning and organizing project. Establish must-start and must-complete dates and then commit to them. If you find yourself wavering and making excuses to put off the project---don't! Flex your willpower muscle and do some heavy lifting. As you develop inner strength, also known as self-discipline, you'll ready yourself to take on bigger challenges and achieve more life-changing goals. It's like training for a marathon by starting with 5K races.

III. DON'T TEMPT FATE

No matter how strong your willpower becomes, it is important to always respect the inevitable fact that human beings have limits. If you over-reach, you'll run out of steam or out of luck. Avoid taking on more than one major challenge at a time if you can help it. Do not be over-confident and bite off more than you can chew by setting obviously unattainable goals. Successful people instinctively know what is in the realm of the possible and refrain from setting themselves up for failure.

IV. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WILL DO

... and not on what you will not do. Research on thought suppression shows that trying to avoid a thought has the opposite effect and makes that thought grow larger in our minds. The same holds true for behaviors. By trying not to engage in a bad habit, like smoking or eating junk food, the habit becomes strengthened instead of broken. Instead, turn your thoughts toward implementing strategies that will bring you to your goal.

I hope that reading Dr. Grant Halvorson's Nine Things help you to acknowledge what you've been doing right all along. As well, I hope you're able to identify the mistakes that have undermined you and that going forward, you will develop successful strategies that pave the way to your most important goals.

Thanks for reading.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Claim-Your-Success!&id=9418378

You Are Stronger Than You Know (By Linda Aspen-Baxter)

Halted in my tracks by a woman

sitting hunched in defeat...

The image on the TV screen

grabbed me with a jolt.

I knew her...

this woman who was a stranger to me;

the light gone from her downcast eyes,

her skin stretched tight over her shattered spirit,

her fingers clenched,

holding her core of pain in an iron grip -

afraid to let go,

afraid to look back,

afraid to look ahead;

fragile...

defeated...

a shell of the woman she had been -

unaware that all she could be

was waiting for her inside.

Have you ever felt totally beaten by the circumstances of your life? Have you felt as I did, that there was no way out, nowhere to go, and no one to help? Have you felt completely alone, shadowed by the cloud of blackness that hovered over your life? If so, you know the paper-thin public veneer and brittle smile you don to try to cover the aching wound within you. You know how it feels to go through the motions of living in such pain that you feel numbed by it. You hold that core of pain within you as tightly as you can. You can't let go because you're afraid that if you do you might come completely undone and the tears might never stop.

I share my story and what I learned from it with the hope that my experience and what I learned through some of the darkest moments of my life may help make a difference in your life or the life of someone you know. I pray that as you read, my words will resonate within you and help you discover the inner strength and power that is within you so that you can begin to move forward and make positive changes in your life. You deserve to live in peace and to be happy. We all do.

Looking back, I can still remember the pain that sawed its serrated edge through me... and stayed to thrust its searing point into me again and again... when I realized that my husband was cheating on me. He denied it over and over, but I knew. I knew when the trust between us had been violated, no matter how many times he told me that I was imagining things. I could feel the change in him and between us. I knew.

He finally admitted his affair. Being the classic co-dependent, I decided I would fix it. Hadn't my marriage vows included the words, "for better or worse"? This had to be classified as "worse." I would just love him more, be a better wife, and make things better. My plan backfired. I imagined that my solitary efforts could mend the torn fabric of our marriage. Wrong. The harder I tried, the more I became a target for his guilt. What began as infidelity ignited into verbal and emotional abuse by the man whom I had believed cherished me and whom I had even proclaimed would never cheat on me. Wrong on that count, too. Soon, I could do nothing right. My very existence was wrong and cause for attack.

The shock of realizing that I had become the enemy sent me reeling. Just months before I had the first inklings of his betrayal, I had declared to friends, "I am so blessed. I have a loving husband, beautiful children, wonderful friends - I have the perfect life." In fact, I even had the audacity to map out my perfect life to the time when our children would graduate, and it would be the two of us again. I had planned our "perfect life" right out to retirement. All I had to was go along for the ride. What a fool I was.

Within a matter of weeks, my life started to unravel. The perfect life that I had seen stretched out before me began to fray. Once it started to come undone, the unraveling and ripping increased in momentum and took on a life of its own. I was powerless to mend anything. The harder I tried, the more quickly things seemed to tear apart. On occasion, it still amazes me how quickly my so-called perfect life fell apart and lay in tattered shreds around me. How perfect had it really been? Had we ever been the perfect couple that others saw? Had this man ever truly loved me? Had it all been a lie?

I'm not sure of the exact moment when I realized that I had to stop trying to fix things and that I had to get out. Maybe it was when I realized that no matter how careful I was about trying to communicate with him, my words would be twisted back on me, and my genuine attempts to work things through would become the grounds for yet another attack. Maybe it was when I would wake with a jolt in the middle of the night to find his face almost pressed against mine, staring me awake, willing me out of my only escape so that he could draw me into another confrontation. Perhaps it was when I realized that I was living in fear in my own house.

Maybe it was the desperate drive when I left the house to escape his incessant emotional battering, and I drove blinded by useless tears, wanting to crash and find release through death. Through the blackness of those moments, an image emerged of my beloved children. I realized that leaving this life might end my pain, but I would leave my children behind in the hands of a man I had once trusted with my life, and who now seemed more monster than man. I could not leave them with him. I believed he would destroy them, as he was trying to destroy me.

Probably, it was all of these events and realizations... and more. I knew I had to get out. What I didn't know was when.

From the moment I realized that I had to get out for the sake of my kids, an amazing thing happened. A slender strand of strength emerged and wavered within me. No matter how beaten down and hopeless I felt, I had to get out for my kids. Each step I took to stand on my own two feet and begin the process of getting away gave me a little more strength. My first step seems inconsequential, but it was huge. I confided in a friend. She couldn't fix anything, but I broke the silence and lessened the power of his grip on me. Instead of feeling completely alone, I knew someone was there for me, and that I had someone to talk to. In deciding to tell someone, I gained a little bit of personal power, a little more strength.

I redid my resumé and started to apply for jobs in other communities. There were no certainties, but I was beginning to take steps forward... on my own. I was in a temporary position, and my job would end in a few short months, but for the time being, I was earning a pay cheque. I began to put money in a separate account. As it grew, so did I. It was my "getting away" money. Knowing it was there and watching it grow strengthened me.

I knew we had to leave, but I still didn't know when. I watched the bright lights dim within my children. As the anger and violence escalated in our home, they withdrew into themselves more and more. I watched my children learn to walk as if on cut glass. We all did. Who knew what would trigger a fit of rage from their father? Would it be baking cookies for the kids? Would it be cleaning the house? Would it be asking him to come for supper? Would it be the fact that I was still breathing? The children stopped playing; they sat quietly and watched TV with the volume turned down so they wouldn't disturb their father. I listened to their teachers tell me how withdrawn they had become at school. I knew I had to get them out of that poisonous atmosphere. It was destroying them as it was me. Still, I struggled with the actual doing... until one weekend in early spring when the decision was taken out of my hands and made for me.

After experiencing a night of escalating rage and erratic behavior by my husband, I had kept my scheduled appointment with the counselor I had been seeing. When I finished relating the chaotic events of the previous evening, the counselor observed that I had not stopped shaking since I had come into her office. She asked me when enough was enough. When was I going to leave? All I could think was how could I take my children away from their father? She commented that he wasn't being a father at that point. She reminded me about the escalating violence and that I needed to leave while I still could. She asked me if I had a safe place to go with the children. Before I knew it, she had me calling my parents to see if we could stay there for a while, and she was talking to the kids to prepare them for what we had to do.

We couldn't leave while he was at home. He had sworn that he would never let me leave. However, he was away for the afternoon, so we had time to return home to pack the necessities and get out. Thank goodness my parents met us at the house to help. The only word that comes close to describing how I felt that afternoon is stunned. As I moved through the house to gather essentials for our escape, I would stop, completely overwhelmed. My mother, bless her heart, would redirect me to what I had to do. It was mid-afternoon in early May, but even the weather mourned our leaving. The black clouds rolled in, and rain poured for all the tears I could not shed. The wheels of leaving that I had set in motion took over for me that day until I could take the wheel. And I did... step by tiny step; hour by hour; day by day.

From the moment we got out, my children began to get better. They began to play again, to dare to make noise, to be kids. Their lives were still in upheaval, but they knew they were loved and safe. They didn't have to witness any more drama or violent rages. They didn't have to "be good" to try to prevent setting off any further violence. They could be children again. Their teachers witnessed the same positive changes I observed from the time we left.

Three weeks after we took refuge at my parents' home, my husband moved out of our house and we were able to move back into our own home. I was in survival mode - still shell-shocked but focused on my kids. I went on for them. Each day, I tried to provide the routine they had known and the security they needed. I loved and nurtured them with every fibre of my being. I got up in the morning for them; I went through the motions of each day for them; at night, I went to bed thinking of them. I kept working; I focused entirely on my job and my children. There were still more questions in my life than answers. My job ended in a few short weeks. At that time, I would have to face unemployment with two young children to provide for. I kept scouring the papers and sending out applications. I kept saving as much as possible. More than anything, I kept praying - praying for the strength to be the mother my children needed, praying for a job that would offer us a new start somewhere else. I didn't know how it would all work out; I just knew it had to.

In the meantime, we were safe in the home that had been such a nightmare. With my husband gone from the house, it became our sanctuary. It was hard to go out in the community, even to go to the park, to get the mail, or to shop for groceries. To go out meant facing people. We lived in a small community, and everyone knew. I forced myself to go out and do the things we had always done - for my children. As I sensed hesitancy in my children about going out into the community, I gave them the reassurance they needed. After all, they had done nothing wrong; I told them to hold their heads high and to stand proud. I was able to find the courage to go out and do for them what I couldn't do for myself. We went out; we played; we went on. Each day, I tried to ease the hurt my children were experiencing. I desperately hoped that I could love them better; that I could provide the band-aid that would heal their hurts. Another lesson was to be learned from that - another lesson that would take time for me to finally get.

All of my applications resulted in three interviews, and one offer, which was all I needed. That offer was an answer to my prayers... and my lifeline. Within two months of my initial flight for safety, I was packing to move to another community to begin a new job. One door had closed; another one opened for us. Did this open door give me hope for the future and reason to dream? Not yet. I still couldn't look to the future. All I could handle was one moment at a time, one hour, one day. I could not look further or imagine anything beyond surviving the present moment. Even after we settled into our new place, my children started in a new school, and I began my new job, I continued in survival mode. My kids and my work were my life.

Yet, even in those gray days of trying to make it through each day without falling apart, I would experience glimmers of a totally new feeling. Through the darkness that cloaked my life, I began to feel delicious bubbles of freedom well up in me when I left work and knew that my kids and I could do anything we wanted. We could go home and be safe. We were free.

As time went on, I began to live life for me. I started to find fulfillment in my work... for me. At first, all I could do was to try to cope with my new responsibilities. As time went on, I realized that I was beginning to take pride in mastering the new demands of my position. I began to incorporate my own initiatives and to put my own "stamp" on my work. I started to feel good about the work that I was doing.

When I first left my husband, people would reassure me that life would get better and I would feel better. I would ask, "When?" Their response was always, "It takes time." I didn't want to hear that. I had hurt, and life had been so hard, for so long. It was going to take MORE time?? As I look back now, that is exactly what it took - time... and tiny steps forward. There wasn't one moment or one day that I can point to and say, "THAT was when I began to feel better." It was a process. What is important to share with you is that it did happen. I began to feel better and to experience positive emotions... just as many wiser people had promised.

I started to laugh and even to feel joy. How good it felt to laugh again! I started to believe that I was strong enough to make it on my own. Just as I began to take pride in my work, I began to take pride in caring for and supporting my kids. As I began to feel and believe, I realized that the darkest days of my life had been a blessing in disguise. I knew from the core of my being that I was growing and becoming stronger because of what I had faced. I was beginning to feel the freedom and confidence to be the person I wanted to be. I thanked God for the lesson I was learning. I had been so self-righteous as I had proclaimed my perfect life. How ignorant I had been! I had been ready to stagnate in my "perfect little nest" for the rest of my life. That wasn't living, and it certainly wasn't the reason for my life.

As I realized this, I began to question my life's purpose, and although I didn't find answers immediately, the important realization was that I was on a journey and that I had to grow and move forward toward the person I was meant to become. I didn't "get" that realization on my own. Instead, life dumped me out of my perfect little life onto my head so I was forced to challenge myself - to stretch and move toward reaching my potential.

There were many more lessons to come, but this realization was an incredible turning point in my life. I am here on this earth to learn and to grow. Things went terribly wrong in my life, but there was learning in that for me. I began to realize that when life put stumbling blocks in my way, I had to look for what I needed to learn. There is a reason why things happen as they do. There is a lesson to be learned, and when I get that lesson, I can move onward to encounter yet more lessons. As I learn, I grow as a person. I thank God for the learning experience that resulted because of my husband's infidelity. I am a much better person because of it.

In so many ways, I was broken by the break-up of my marriage and the verbal and emotional abuse I experienced. I was ready to give up and find the release I thought death would offer, but I went on for the sake of my kids. Even though I didn't go on for myself in the beginning, I was the winner in the end. Instead of stagnating in a predetermined life story, I learned that life is my journey toward becoming all that I can be. I realized that I want to continue to stretch and challenge myself - to continue to grow and evolve. I realized that life offers me unlimited opportunities and potential. If I can realize this, you can too. Broken spirits mend and heal. It takes time, and I am still healing, still encountering and struggling with baggage from my past. However, what I do know is the struggle is worth it because each time that I can let go of past hurts, I move forward and continue the healing that must occur before I can be truly whole.

Know that you have immeasurable strength within you - strength you may not even know that you have - but it is there... ready for you to take one step toward making a change in your life. One tiny step is followed by another tiny step, but two steps forward, no matter how small, are still two steps forward, and they result in two strands of emerging strength and power. By themselves, each step forward doesn't seem all that significant, but together, they begin to build a core of personal power within you. One step will take you to the next step. You don't need to do it all at once. Begin with one small step. When you begin to feel the first inklings of your own power, you are on your way.

Nothing can destroy the power within you to create change for YOU. You deserve a life of happiness and joy. You deserve a life free from fear and abuse. You ARE worthy. Let no person take away your worth and your joy in being. Begin now to take ownership for your life's journey. It is your birthright.

Who am I now?

I am a woman who can

face the mirror and

look deep into my own eyes.

I am a woman who can

see the beauty within me

and smile at the love in my eyes.

I am a woman who can

hold her head high

and walk forward with pride.

I am a woman who knows

that I can be everything

I want to be.

I am a woman who can.

http://ezinearticles.com/?You-Are-Stronger-Than-You-Know&id=9047905

Willingness to Do the Hard Thing - Part 1

A willingness to do the hard thing will set you apart from the average person. As well it will result in you accomplishing things that others tend to avoid. A strong focused mental attitude will go a long way to facilitate your capacity to do the hard thing.

Sharing sensitive information with a superior can be difficult if it is known that it will not be well received. However these are the moments, although fraught with risk, which can represent great opportunity to make a meaningful contribution to whatever organization you belong to. As well often times the person who initially gets upset at receiving unwelcome news may end up respecting the person who shared it. This is because they recognize it was done from a place of integrity and duty.

Winston Churchill seemed to savor the opportunity of looking for difficult assignments. During the Boer War in South Africa he signed on as a journalist to cover the conflict. He ended up being captured after leading the defense of a train being attacked and captured by the Boers. Subsequently he escaped and was wanted dead or alive by the Boers. Then he returned to South Africa to eventually become an officer in a South African cavalry unit and displayed further heroics. Before the Boer War when Churchill had run for political office he had lost. Now as a returning hero he was given the winning election that was previously denied to him. All those hard things he had endured now seemed of no consequence. They launched him to the stratosphere of political office.

A major benefit of doing the hard thing is it builds inner strength. Consequently when we meet difficult challenges in the future we have a new reserve of courage and confidence in handling it. This creates greater ease and higher levels of excellence due to a superior state of mind as we stay calm in the midst of doing what needs to be done. It also develops the discipline for making right choices based on what will produce the best possible outcome, not on simply doing what is easy and expedient. Dennis Waitley in his CD series "Psychology of Winning" quoted the following: "Winners make decisions based on goal achieving rather than tension relieving."

May you have the willingness to do the hard thing that will advance your life for the long-term, not simply make you feel good in the short-term.

This excerpt is from "Unlimited - Anything is Possible." You can have a life that is remarkable and memorable. If you are in leadership then this is a book that will give you a framework to make decisions important to your success as a leader. This book is designed to create awareness and actions regarding key areas affecting our ability to make good decisions, so we can look back at our life with a sense of satisfaction and joy.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Willingness-to-Do-the-Hard-Thing---Part-1&id=9490313

Feeling Happy All The Time

Everyone wants to be happy all the time and in each moment but it seems like an impossible job for doing that. It might be so hard feeling happy all the time. We could be someone who is going through some tough times, or someone who is facing a problem like below:

• My boss just fired me and this is so unfair.
• My wife just told me our marriage is over.
• I just had a car accident, my car was totally destroyed but thank's God I'm fine.

When we have problems in our lives, they present themselves in a way that makes us feel unhappy. So it's obviously that all people have problems. There is no one  without problems. What makes us special is how we face  our problems? Maybe we must try to find a solution other than thinking about them and waiting to be solved by themselves. We need to find the best possible solution for that problem. When we are facing a problem, we need to see the good side of it. Let's take for an example the last "problem" I mentioned above.

Feeling happy all the time isn't so hard!

So I or you, or whoever else just had a car accident. He was driving an expensive car which was totally destroyed. He didn't have any insurance coverage and for that reason, he won't get any refund. However, despite all this he was not injured and totally fine. This is what he should see, this side. We must find another viewpoint of that negative situation and in this way, we could be happier. We may be in another situation that might be not in our control, but we can always control our perspective, and making the effort to look at the bright side of any situation instead of focusing on all of the negative aspects you see will make you a happier person. I'm sure that each problem has a positive side. We just need to be capable of seeing it.

Another way to be happier in each moment could be by learning to embrace the present moment instead of feeling regret for the past or dreading the future. We must live and enjoy our present moment instead dreading the future. We must learn to appreciate the things in front of us, the good time we are having and we'll see our happiness level rise dramatically once we get the hang of it.

You know that humor is another great way to be happier in each moment? Of course, it is. A good sense of humour is a great inner strength. We don't need to be a comedian to use humour effectively. We must see the funny side of situations and we'll often be able to cope better. Jokes have a way of making worries seem less important. Making someone laugh, will increase our happiness level for sure.

We need to smile more often if we want to be happier. Smiling more often has some great benefits, like it makes us seem friendly, look more attractive, feel happier and less stressed. By smiling more often we'll feel more positive about ourselves and the world. It's heart-warming and has the power to cheer up others instantly.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Feeling-Happy-All-The-Time&id=9353646