The Messy Multitasker

There are a plethora of articles that support or condemn multitasking. Some say it takes 23% longer to finish one item when you multitask. Others say the brain is evolving and could potentially compartmentalize tasks simultaneously, like a computer. While both comments may have merit, there is an aspect of multitasking that is almost never discussed. That is the conversational multitasker.

The conversational multitasker is one who listens to another person as they reference their experience and knowledge to understand or validate what the speaker is saying. This is multitasking because the listener is actually listening to two conversations simultaneously. They are listening to what the speaker is saying and they are listening to their interpretation, which is a conversation about what the speaker is saying.

While many may acknowledge this process, it is difficult to distinguish the amount of conversations happening in the mind of the listener. For example, if the speaker talks about the color blue, the listener may have flashbacks of the midnight blue car their dad drove when they were young. The memory could evoke great feelings of their dad driving and the fascinating views the listener saw while in the car.

Furthermore, when the listener is listening to their experience in their mind about their dad's blue car, they are living in the past. As they relive the past, they are not present to the present - the speaker. This form of multitasking causes the listener to miss part of what the speaker is saying. As a result, the outcome can often be miscommunication. In the worst case, it can turn into an argument.

At the same time, the listener may not be very interested in what the speaker has to say. He or she may only be interested in what they agree or disagree with. Therefore, they may not be listening to the words of the speaker. They are simply listening to a representation of what the speaker is saying. In other words, if the speaker says things that match the listeners past experience or education, it is likely the listener will agree with the speaker. The opposite holds true for disagreement.

In the event the listener has no point of reference for what is being said to him, he may not know if he can agree or disagree. He may elect to ignore it. Or he may go into a state of confusion. One way to defend being in a state of confusion is to disagree with the speaker and insist the speaker is incompetent on the subject. To do this, the listener must run a list of conversations in his or her mind to determine how to respond to the confusion, all the while not fully listening to what is being communicated by speaker.

As you can see, the conversational multitasker can be a messy job. He can ruin great relationships simply because he tries to understand everything through that which he already understands. This is problematic because no one knows everything. If he encounters something that is outside of his experience or knowledge, he may try to make it fit what he already knows. Or she may invalidate it.

Some of you may be thinking to yourself: "that's just your point of view". The moment you have that conversation with yourself, you have engaged in conversational multitasking. Any comment you make is predicated on what you already know, the past.

Perhaps children have an advantage. They do not have an extensive past. In some cases, they have no past to reference. Instead, children take every experience as an opportunity to learn something new. They don't compare new information to the past. They simply understand what is occurring in front of them for what it is.

As for adults, the power comes when you can distinguish your conversational multitasking. The moment you do you will have the power of choice. You can continue to choose to listen to your past. Or you can hear what is being communicated to you with nothing added.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Messy-Multitasker&id=9494263

How to Give Pieces of Your Life Away

As you climb up the ladder of success, make it a point to give pieces of your life away. How do you manage to do that? Read on to find out how I explain in depth.

First of all, how should you give pieces of your life away? Look for tips below:

1) Write fiction stories based on your life experiences and share them with the world. Each person on this planet has unique life experiences. Start by writing stuff that really speak to you and then you can proceed to make up more intricate plots.

2) Be kind and friendly to all the people around you. You don't know how the people around are struggling in their lives. Your little gesture of kindness and friendliness will brighten up their day, and they will remember your act of goodness for years to come.

3) Help the people in need. This can mean helping someone elderly cross the street, helping someone carrying their heavy bags of groceries, helping someone to climb on to a bus, or helping someone with a little cash, who is penniless. And the list goes on.

4) Donate to a charity or a cause you believe in. For instance, if you are making good income from your prestigious job, you should feel generous enough to donate. The charity can be to support orphanages or old homes. A cause that you believe in can be helping survivors of tsunami disasters, or road accidents, or natural calamities such as, violent tornadoes or massive floods.

5) Laugh, sing and dance. Do some merry-making. Not only you but also the people with you will enjoy the fun. They would like to do it again and again and you will always be invited to join the fun as they will know you are a fun-loving and fun-giving person.

6) Perform on stages either giving speeches or presentations in your field of expertise/interest. You become a better and an even better speaker and people would always love to listen to you.

So now comes the question why you need to give pieces of your life away. It is because you need to stand out for having lived at all. Your success is not measured by how much you have accomplished but how much you have helped people having accomplished yourself. Why? Almighty God/Divine Source/Higher Power likes to acknowledge it this way and when you do, they shower you with limitless blessings. How good is that? Wonderful, isn't it?

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Give-Pieces-of-Your-Life-Away&id=9425542

Ways of Listening

When others speak to us there are several ways of listening that we implement. There is some reasoning behind each mode, when to implement each and why you might do this. Sometimes others truly seek advice and feedback. They really care about what you have to say. At other times you recognize that it is foolish to even imagine that the speaker has any intent of absorbing what you have to say.

For example, when Uncle Bob chatters endlessly and there is never a chance to add a comment or to intervene to stop his never-ending diatribe, listening is rarely full. This is what I call pretend listening. Pretend listening includes occasional head nods and sighs. This indicates to the speaker that you are engaged while to you it is simply a means of keeping yourself awake. The best part of pretend listening is that really the speaker is not interested in your ideas or reactions so the fact that you are not listening is never a problem. You will not be asked for insight or opinion as the speaker is replete with ideas and so no one else's thoughts are of value. The biggest problem with pretend listening is being able to disengage your body from the clutches of the blabbermouth. It seems these folks do not pause but rather somehow breath in and out as words pour forth. Sometimes the only way to end pretend listening is to slowly inch away. Yes, you may run but this draws attention while a dawdling exit may go completely unnoticed.

A second type of listening is that with half-an-ear. Half-an-ear entails listening, nodding, and sighing but with a tad bit more attention. A good example of this type of listening is when you are multi-tasking - unloading the dishwasher while young daughter complains about her math teacher or continuing an Internet search while a co-worker runs over the agenda for an upcoming meeting. You have half of that ear operational and ideas do flow in but because the opening is one-sided the true understanding of the conversation is tiny so many gaps occur when it comes to action and reaction. But at least you possess an inkling of the information shared and can answer questions or fill pauses with fairly adequate feedback.

One-ear listening pulls you further into the depths of a conversation. You hear, you respond, you offer advice but you are never fully engaged in the conversation. This may be because you are busy with other projects as in half-an-ear listening, but to differentiate it from that mode, with one ear you are listening only to the extent that you can insert your own ideas, adventures, advice, and knowledge. One-ear of the listener means the other ear is free to mull and roll and then prepare an onslaught of interesting, pertinent, and valuable comment and personal views. This listening is typical of an office boss where s/he is the boss and the rest of the employees are simply a part of the mob. They are important and their opinions matter but only as they work in accordance with the wishes of the boss. "I want your opinion" translates to "Glad you are thinking, however,... " This may be discouraging, but you can often fool yourself into thinking that your ideas do matter.

The final type of listening is complete, full-on, attentive, and compassionate. You listen (nodding and sighing are optional) without interruption or offering unsolicited advice. Even when you are asked an opinion, you respond in such a way that the deliverer of the speech is in charge of his or her own choices. Your lead-ins include words such as "What would happen if... ?" or "What do you think about... ?" enabling the speaker to reflect on what s/he has said, pick up nuances of wisdom from you, and then intertwine these to formulate a decision. You may have terrific ideas but you hold them close and release snippets as the speaker is ready to hear and each dose is small enough that thoughts and ideas can be integrated into the picture as they fit and are needed.

This fourth type of listening is exhausting. It is extremely difficult to withhold feedback as the speaker wanders through anxiety and trepidation. This person came to you because of your intelligence and astuteness and you could just spout off at will (sending you into half-an-ear/one-ear listening) but the recipient of your advice would then not be forced to fit your feedback into a package that solves issues with deep understanding. This whole-hearted listening also moves you out of the position of "fall guy" as you shared insight but you did not demand action. The speaker took his/her thoughts and mixed them to form a satisfying answer.

Of course, the degree of listening may vary throughout a conversation. Sometimes the pretend listening mode advances and your advice, once the speaker has worn out his/her voice, actually does want to know what you think and feel. The same is true with complete listening. Sometimes your frustration at another's lack of focus and direction may force you to blurt and assert to end a muddle of confusion. The most important information here is to be aware of your personal listening behaviors and note when and how you apply these. Also pay attention to how your listening is perceived. When the speaker actually notices your attentiveness and adjusts and manipulates your advice to become his/her own, you have accomplished something wonderful.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Ways-of-Listening&id=9079358

10 Body Language Tips Every Speaker Must Know

We all know that when we give a presentation or speak in front of a group, not only are our words important, but the body language that accompanies them.

Your words may give the audience one message while your body sends quite another.

As if getting the words out wasn't hard enough, right?

An infographic from SOAP Presentations lists 10 body language tips to employ during your next presentation. These tips range from how to get the audience to like you, to how to make sure the audience remembers your key points.

For example:

1. To get the audience to like you, make eye contact. People tend to pay more attention to and like those who look them in the eye.

2. To boost your confidence, open your chest and arms, and keep your back straight.

3. To demonstrate authority, be calm and use small, stiff gestures.

4. To draw the audience's attention to something, point directly at it and look at it yourself. The audience will follow your lead.

5. To convince the audience of something, use positive gestures — smiling, nodding, open movements, etc. — throughout the presentation.

 http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/239405