When You Love Yourself First, Life Will Take Care Of The Rest

I want you to do something before reading this entire article.

It may confront you, but will be a major step towards self-acceptance.

Stand in front of a mirror and recite at least six times: "Your name, I love you."

Gaze into your eyes as you say it, being meaningful while you deliver the words.

Avoid looking away or staring at what is behind you through the mirror. Don't use the camera on your smartphone to do this exercise, let it be raw and simple.

OK, try the exercise now.

What did you notice?

What kind of feelings arose?

Could you hold your gaze and feel the words I love you?

Some people are reduced to tears when conducting this simple, yet powerful exercise.

Let's be honest, if you cannot love yourself how can you embrace the love of another person?

You are likely to feel unworthy, however you will still long for the love of another person.

That's where conflict arises.

When you love yourself, life takes care of the details because everything else is minor compared to the acceptance of one's self.

Granted, there are times when you don't feel loveable. This is normal and we all experience those moments. But self-acceptance is the foundation to living a complete life when you begin to show up with your whole self

Clinical neuropsychologist Mario Martinez writes in The MindBody Code: "I propose that abundance is not sustainable without a strong sense of self-worth. Why not? Because maintaining health, reaching wealth, and finding love require the capacity to accept that you are worthy of your good fortune."

The author touches on something important and that is worthiness. Your story of unworthiness is a tale assumed from others and reinforced over time, although this is not who you are.

It is a repeated affirmation and conceived narrative. You are no more that person than I am Superman. Sure, I might daydream to have super human powers, but when I return to reality I discover I am a man with insecurities and challenges just like the rest of us.

Nonetheless, I don't feed those doubts because I know what I give life to, whether the positive or negative gains power. I don't allow my challenges to overcome me but use them to reinforce my authentic power.

Stanford psychologist Shirzad Chamine explains in his book Positive Intelligence that we adopt ten saboteurs or internal enemies. One voice is The Judge, whose opinion is often mistaken for tough-love.

It continually finds faults with yourself through a self-justifying lie: "The Judge's most damaging lie is that we are not worthy of love or respect by just being who we are."

In a similar vein, it was the Sufi poet Rumi who wrote: "Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

Which brings us back full-circle to the story title.

When you strip away the stories about who you think you are, underneath it you'll uncover your authentic self, which at its essence is pure love.

So, make it a practice to meet with yourself in the mirror on a daily basis and come to love and accept the person reflected back to you.

After all, when you love yourself first life will undoubtedly take care of the rest.

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Overcoming Temptation: Why Is It So Difficult To Resist?

Few things are more demoralizing than failing to resist temptation. Failure in any endeavor in life doesn't come close to the guilt and remorse you feel when you give in to temptation. That's because you know in advance that it's wrong to be, have or do such a thing. But you do it anyway. Why? Is it weakness? Insanity? Perhaps immaturity in that, like a child, you want to test the limits of your freedom. See how far you can go without repercussion. Are you testing fate? Tempting fate? Fate is tempting you and you are tempting it back. It's like playing Russian Roulette with yourself. It's very exciting. Very alluring. -- And very addictive.

You sincerely want to do the right thing but are simply unable to. "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" accurately describes this human condition. Failure to resist temptation one time makes it easier to fail the next time. That's because you just know you're going to fail so don't put up much of a defense. It's a vicious cycle.

You've also come to accept giving in to temptation as perfectly "normal" because few others can resist it either. This rationalization somewhat relieves the sting but doesn't eliminate it. The residual guilt then makes you feel unworthy of success in other areas of your life. It's insidious. Confidence and self-esteem diminishes. No one likes to feel powerless over anything.

Temptation is ubiquitous. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of times a day, social and commercial media bombard you with sophisticated temptations and hypnotic suggestions to buy their product, service or idea. There's no end to the desire to possess your mind, your body or your money. And then there are those whose mind, body or money you are tempted to possess. And then there's all the other temptations beside lust. There are the temptations to anger or resentment; to get revenge; to laziness; to lie, steal, cheat, judge, hate, hurt, envy, be partial to or prejudiced against; to overeat, over drink, over spend. The list goes on.

Your first line of defense is your freedom of choice. But this power requires discipline and commitment. You don't have to react or respond to temptation. You don't have to resent it, fear it, judge it, or even comment on it in any way. Just notice it and let it go. Notice it and drop it at the same time. Don't indulge it or romanticize it for a moment. Don't even think about it, for your thoughts will tend to rationalize giving in. You'll think, "Hey, this opportunity may never come again!" or "Gee, I wouldn't want to discourage it completely!" Just immediately change the subject moving freely and serenely on to the next present moment. This is the definition of wisdom.

Remember, the law of detachment is to keep an appropriate and respectful distance from all experience -- all thought, feeling and desire, all the time. See all people, places and situations just as they are. Just in and of themselves. Don't personalize anything. That's the worst temptation of all. See a beautiful woman as just a beautiful woman -- without lust; see a rich and powerful man as just a rich and powerful man -- without intimidation; see your delicious and nutritious dinner as just a delicious and nutritious dinner -- not as a stress reliever. See a cigar as just a cigar. And so on. Whatever tempts you, owns you. Change the habit of giving in to your lower, personal self to giving in to your higher, conscious self. Nothing in life is more rewarding, fulfilling and powerful.

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