How to Deal With Stress of Dealing With Family - 6 Tips for Navigating Family Events and Holidays

Challenging family dynamics can cause a significant amount of anxiety and stress, especially during the holidays. Although you do not want to assume every event with your family will be the same, you may feel a little more in control if you prepare yourself ahead of time. Below are six tips to help you navigate holidays and events with family:

1. Establish an ally

An ally is someone you feel comfortable teaming up with because you know they will have your back-someone who may also need your support as well, during family gatherings. You can help one another throughout the evening. Remember, there is safety in numbers, even if there are only two of you.

2. Create a code word or phrase

Come up with a code word that you and your ally can use if one of you needs a break. A code word can also be used when you've reached your stride, or your comfortable limit with family/holiday cheer. My husband and I have a code word. When either of us has reached our limit, we're tired, or perhaps the family fun has become a little inappropriate, one of us will say "perfect margarita". This is our signal to one another to begin wrapping things up and heading toward the door, possibly in pursuit of perfect margaritas.

3. Arm yourself with 'One Liners'

Many of us have those family members who always manage to cross personal boundaries, by bringing up sensitive or personal topics that you'd rather not discuss with them (or with anyone for that matter) during a family event. First, identify your conversation limits, and topics you want to steer clear of (children, weight, your sexuality, your employment status, etc.). Second, think of 2-3 witty and humorous 'one liners' you can use as a way to shift the conversation and the focus of their prying inquiries.

Example: Mom: "You've put on a little weight haven't you?"

You: "Well, I am still in training for the chili eating competition. I've gotta do my part to support the family name."

Then, turn the focus of the conversation to a less personal and intrusive topic.

4. Know your limits

You plan to spend time with your family, but you know that prolonged exposure usually ends in disaster. Set a time limit on your visit. Maybe it takes two hours before things become tense, or maybe three. Keep your time allowance in mind while visiting. Leave while things are still calm and peaceful. This can be a step toward increasing positive experiences and fond memories with your family.

5. Exercise

Exercise allows your body to release the chemical known as endorphins, into your brain causing feelings of positivity and well-being. If you want to keep your anxiety and stress in check, go for a brisk walk or run before family activities get underway. Whatever you decide, make exercise a part of your plans.

6. It's okay to just say NO

For some of us the holidays or family events create a significant amount of anxiety. We become overwhelmed, and the sense of dread is almost unbearable. If this is you, give yourself a break. Sit this one out. Take time for yourself, go see a movie, or spend the day with people you actually enjoy being with.

The tips shared are useful in any setting and at any time with family, friends, even co-workers. However, if you find navigating relationships and setting boundaries with the people in your life is something you have trouble with, speaking with a professional counselor can help you discover the cause and solutions to your trouble. Healthy boundaries produce healthy relationships. Working with a professional counselor can help you learn skills for setting boundaries with the people in your life so you can experience healthier relationships.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Deal-With-Stress-of-Dealing-With-Family---6-Tips-for-Navigating-Family-Events-and-Holidays&id=9330915

Rohn: A Good Life Contains These 6 Essentials

The values that make up the foundation of a life well lived—and, no surprise, money isn’t one of them

The ultimate expression of life is not a paycheck. The ultimate expression of life is not a Mercedes. The ultimate expression of life is not a million dollars or a bank account or a home. The ultimate expression of life is living a good life.

Here's what we must ask constantly, "What, for me, would be a good life?" And you have to keep going over and over the list—a list including areas such as spirituality, economics, health, relationships and recreation.

So, what would constitute a good life? Jim Rohn has a short list:

1. Productivity. You won't be happy if you don't produce. The game of life is not rest. Yes, we must rest, but only long enough to gather strength to get back to productivity.

What's the reason for the seasons and the seeds, the soil and the sunshine, the rain and the miracle of life? It's to see what you can do with it—to try your hand to see what you can do.

2. Good friends. Friendship is probably the greatest support system in the world, so don't deny yourself the time to develop it. Nothing can match it. It's extraordinary in its benefit.

Friends are those wonderful people who know all about you and still like you. I lost one of my dearest friends when he was 53—heart attack. As one of my very special friends, I used to say that if I was stuck in a foreign jail somewhere accused unduly, and, if they would allow me one phone call, I would call David. Why? He would come and get me. That's a real friend—somebody who would come and get you.

And we've all got casual friends, friends who, if you called them, they would say, "Hey, if you get back, call me and we'll have a party."

You’ve got to have both real friends and casual friends.

3. Your culture. Language, music, ceremonies, traditions, dress. All of that is so vitally important that you must keep it alive. The uniqueness of all of us, when blended together, brings vitality, energy, power, influence, and rightness to the world.

4. Spirituality. It helps to form the foundation of the family that builds the nation. And make sure you study, practice and teach—don't be careless about the spiritual part of your nature because it's what makes us who we are, different from dogs, cats, birds and mice.

5. Don't miss anything. My parents taught me not to miss anything, not the game, the performance, the movie, the dance. Just before my father died at 93, if you were to call him at 10:30 or 11 at night, he wouldn't be home. He was at the rodeo, he was watching the kids play softball, he was listening to the concert, he was at church—he was somewhere every night.

Go to everything you possibly can. Buy a ticket to everything you possibly can. Go see everything and experience all you possibly can.

Live a vital life. If you live well, you will earn well. If you live well, it will show in your face; it will show in the texture of your voice. There will be something unique and magical about you if you live well. It will infuse not only your personal life but also your business life. And it will give you a vitality nothing else can give.

6. Your family and the inner circle. Invest in them, and they'll invest in you. Inspire them, and they'll inspire you. Take care of the details with your inner circle.

When my father was still alive, I used to call him when I traveled. He'd have breakfast most every morning with the farmers at a little place called The Decoy Inn out in the country where we lived in Southwest Idaho.

When I was in Israel, I'd have to get up in the middle of the night, but I'd call Papa. I'd say, "Papa, I'm in Israel." He'd say, "Israel! Son, how are things in Israel?" He'd talk real loud so everybody could hear. I'd say, "Papa, last night they gave me a reception on the rooftop underneath the stars overlooking the Mediterranean." He'd say, "Son, a reception on the rooftop underneath the stars overlooking the Mediterranean?" Now everybody knew the story. And giving my father that special day only took five or 10 minutes.

If a father walks out of the house and he can still feel his daughter's kiss on his face all day, he's a powerful man. If a husband walks out of the house and he can still feel the imprint of his wife's arms around his body, he's invincible all day. It's the special stuff with your inner circle that makes you strong and powerful and influential. So don't miss that opportunity.

The prophet said, "There are many virtues and values, but here's the greatest: one person caring for another." There is no greater value than love.

So make sure in your busy day to remember the true purpose and the reasons you do what you do. May you truly live the kind of life that will bring the fruit and rewards that you desire.

http://www.success.com/article/rohn-a-good-life-contains-these-6-essentials