Life Lessons From the Wild Boars

Not long ago, the world waited with bated breath while watching the rescue of 12 boys, members of the Wild Boars soccer team, and their coach, who were caught in a flooded subterranean cave deep under the mountains of Chang Rai, Thailand. We witnessed the extraordinary worldwide commitment to their safe return to their families as rescue workers from different nationalities, ethnicities and cultural backgrounds dedicated their time, effort and means, once even at the expense of their own lives to the task at hand. Nothing mattered other than saving these children.

We see this kind of selfless devotion to the lives of others over and over again, during many times of crises, all over the globe. And once the crisis has past, we sigh with relief and turn our attention back to our ordinary lives.

But here's the thing. If we so choose, we can infuse our ordinary lives with some of the heroism and dedication that absorbed our minds and hearts over the Thailand boys and their rescuers. We all face stressful challenges in our day-to-day lives (not as stressful as what those children and their parents went through, but stressful nonetheless). Instead of giving up, we can step up, and be the very best of ourselves in situations that cause us unhappiness, anger, grief or despair.

How?

1. Adopt a more compassionate response toward others and ourselves.

None of the rescuers spent time or energy on the fact that they were in no way related to the Thai boys, that there would be no profit in it for them, that they had no obligation to help. The rescuers, regardless of background or belief, simply worked together toward a common goal.

You're having problems at work? Or with your family? With your health? Appreciate a basic truth: everyone is simply doing the best they can with what they've got from where they are. Including you. Once you accept that, you can then forgive yourself and others for whatever pickle you/they are in, and seek to understand the situation. Understanding what's going on from everyone's point of view is what lets you effectively deal with the situation.

2. Skip right past blame and finger pointing.

The rescue workers in Thailand didn't waste time debating whose fault the crisis was, or insist that so-and-so be blamed and raked over the coals. They just pitched in and did what needed to be done. In other words, they got on with the solution.

Nothing good comes out of blame or finger pointing. It's a giant waste of your creativity and mental capacity. Ditch it. Whatever your specific situation, aim yourself firmly in the direction of problem-solving and have at it. Just like the rescue workers, you'll be much more likely to succeed.

We are all capable of far more than we think we are. It takes focus, a willingness to leave our egos aside, and engage our mighty selves (yes, you are mighty!) in doing what is necessary to resolve whatever the issue may be. It really doesn't matter whether your personal crisis is small (your baby is crying - again!) or large (a dreaded diagnosis), a compassionate response, dumping blame and finger pointing and concentrating on finding a solution will serve you exceedingly well.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Life-Lessons-From-the-Wild-Boars&id=10003226

Because Of You I Learned To Trust Again

If your trust has been broken, you may ne'er permit yourself to trust once more. Don't try shielding yourself by being mistrusting. Don't live a lonely and unfulfilled life without significant relationships. Believe me. You can move past the grief of broken trust. You'll learn the way to trust once more.

Even if you've been deeply wounded, never allow another person's untrustworthiness have an effect on your ability to believe. Learning to confide implies believing that things will work our better than before if you just give yourself a chance.

As a matter of fact, people create mistakes, however generally, you wish their actions and words would be because they love you. Even if it is an essential part of a human relationships.

You can't enter a new relationship if you're still harboring the idea that when trust is broken, it'll ne'er be regained. In fact, you can't project the past onto a relationship and expect it to succeed. It puts unimaginable pressure on each of you - you, as a result of your suspicion that your partner can betray you; and your partner, as a result, of he or she resents that you simply don't believe them. Remember, no one will complete you except yourself.

Listen to your intuition when assessing a person's trustiness. Be terribly observant especially on the way they treat other people. Never go for outward appearance alone. Learn how to read from within because untrustworthy individuals will placed on a wonderful show publicly but once in private, their real attitude suffice.

Start by sharing tiny things and see what happens. If you've been betrayed and you expect it to happen once more, you'll subconsciously attract simply that state of events. If you target what you wish, on what will go utterly right, you'll attract those who won't betray you. Though you yourself haven't perpetually been honest and you suspect that almost all dishonesty comes from a very low level of self-esteem.

Try to be compassionate and forgive - to not excuse the action, however to grasp its supply. You can boost your self-confidence by perpetually acting with integrity and honesty, and basic cognitive process that you just merit love, trust and respect.

In order to ever trust another person, you want to initially trust yourself. Believe in your judgment and talent to create sensible choices. Just because somebody hurt you doesn't mean you have a poor judgment, or that you just created a slip-up holding them in.

Your instincts are powerful, and you must not doubt yourself. You do not need to lower your expectations within the future. In fact, you must keep an equivalent expectations or maybe raise it.

Realize that your past is totally different from your future. One person's dangerous behavior isn't a mirrored image of all mankind. While it's sensible to avoid such sorts of individuals and things wherever your trust was profaned, you must ne'er let your past experiences enable you to lower your expectations for the long run. You should love someone who deserves your trust.

If you choose to not trust once more, you will find yourself missing out on somebody actually unimaginable. But we realized there was a reason for what happened in the past. Maybe somewhere out there is just waiting for us.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Because-Of-You-I-Learned-To-Trust-Again&id=9991375

One Life Changing Question

One of the most beautiful and powerful questions comes from an ancient source. It is a question that will get you out of bed in the morning, push you to live with passion, to care more, love more and be more. It will drive you to pursue your goals, go the gym, and to be a better spouse, parent, and friend.

When you look at the world around you and see the many challenges, asking this question will give you new insight, courage, and motivation to walk in faith, hope, and love.

During the Crimean war, hundreds of soldiers died every day. Before long more were dying in the hospitals than on the battlefield. The medical staffs were often untrained, simply people pulled off the street and forced to work in a seemingly hopeless job. That was all about to change.

Florence Nightingale had a deep and personal spiritual experience when she was 17. From then on she lived with a deep faith in God. She learned to speak 5 languages, one of which was Greek, a skill she used to study the New Testament. At 34 she entered the hospital as a nurse. With her extensive education, she quickly made a number of changes, foremost among them was sanitizing the rooms, and giving compassionate care to wounded soldiers.

Her efforts changed hospitals, and today she is known as the founder of modern nursing. So great was her impact that the soldiers wrote songs to memorialize her.

Which brings us back to our question, one Florence asked and answered a number of times.

Before he faced Goliath, David asked his brothers why no one was answering the challenge of the giant who was mocking the army of Israel. Rather than embrace David's courage, his brothers were angry at his boldness. Their response was to tell David to return home and leave them alone, as they believed no one could defeat the giant.

David then asked, "Is there not a cause?" (1 Samuel 17:29). His question was met with silence from his brothers. He however knew the answer, and went on to defeat Goliath, and become a legend in the making.

"Is there not a cause?" David's question is for each of us. What he was asking was, "Is there not a reason to fight? Is there not something more at stake than our comfort? Is there not a compelling reason to risk everything?" David did, Florence did, and we should, giving ourselves to causes greater than our own lives.

What giants do you see around you? Broken marriages? Division? Addictions? Depression? Health issues? Financial challenges? The list of giants is long. Each Goliath needs a David to stand up and be the example, the warrior who won't back down.

Feel like giving up at times? Just utter the question, "Is there not a cause?"; then get up, live with passion, and fight the giants!

https://ezinearticles.com/?One-Life-Changing-Question&id=9987592

Don't Hold On To Your Anger

Growing up I heard different recipes for a life lived well, and while I received some stellar advice I rarely if ever- saw it being put to practice. While I was inspired to be free, courageous, truthful, loving and compassionate, I saw people around me riddled and haunted by fear, jealousy, dependency and despise. I am grateful for these people being there, for watching their lives and stories helped me learn and choose my path at a very young age. But while it was easy to choose love over hatred and compassion over fear, the choice that has been the hardest to master so far is the choice between anger and forgiveness.

How do you simply forget and forgive, and simply move on? How do you choose to not be enraged by the actions or words of another, especially when they unleash such an onslaught on one's mind, heart and spirit? How indeed does one tame anger?

To start with why does one need to tame anger or let go of it to begin with? Anger is really like a fire which must destruct in order to purify. This force has its place, such as when used to fuel a rebellion against injustice or when protecting our beloved; but how well we use and employ this force is deeply connected with how well we have mastered this force. For far too often instead of purifying and healing with it, we end up levelling the landscapes of our life with our own anger; instead of solving issues we end up merely destructing things. Further, just like fire- anger is pretty hard and resource intensive to keep contained. Like a constantly burning fire, any anger we hold on to is tricky to contain and is constantly consuming us or an aspect of our life. At the very least thus, holding on to anger is unhealthy, exhausting and dangerous.

Also we must recognize that anger is a response- there is always a deeper emotion at play which the anger masks. Holding on to anger therefore often keeps us from really getting to the heart of the matter. For example, if the comments of a friend anger you, it is because somewhere they were harsh and may have upset you; your anger is a response to your pain, sadness and disappointment. What is really needed is for you to express and communicate this pain to your friend in order to impress the real impact of her actions; however burning in anger it may be hard for you to expose your feelings and vulnerability, and you may just end up with a pointless argument that leads nowhere fruitful.

But no matter how dangerous or destructive anger is, it is not a disease or a shortcoming. Instead like every other potent aspect of human nature, it is a power and force waiting to be mastered. And here is where the most important reason for letting go of anger lies- we must no hold on to anger if we ever want to master this force. Fire- all fire- must be channeled in order to prevent it from consuming us, and thus it is with anger. Expression and forgiveness help channel this fire, and help us master this force- all in the interest of our own peace, personal development and wellness, as well as of those around us.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Dont-Hold-On-To-Your-Anger&id=9141274

Top 8 Self Sabotage Mistakes We Make - Attitude and Mindset for Prosperity, Goals and Success

You want to succeed. You want progress. You want great meaning in your life.

Sure, I don't know you. But science (neuro-science and psychological science) tell us that every human being needs these things (and a few others).

This article outlines for you 8 of the top reasons almost everyone who ever lives does not live as purposeful and successful a life as they could have.

In these 8 things, you will find necessary mindset (attitude) adjustments we must make, optimize and habitually manage to achieve habitual self-motivation, peak performance and ultimate success.

IT BEGINS AND ENDS WITH OUR MINDSET

Mindset matters. A lot.

With a positive, driven mindset, we will achieve incredible things.

With a pessimistic or otherwise mindset, we will defeat ourselves.

We all self-sabotage sometimes and to some degree.

Most people make a habit of this.

But we can control this. Here are the top 8 ways we most often sabotage ourselves and, most importantly, mindset and success strategies for limiting or destroying self-sabotage.

1. Poor Self Confidence. You don't believe in yourself.

This is a self-fulfilling prophesy. After all, why even try if you know you'll fail.

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

Ask yourself what beliefs you have that you are or will be a failure. Brainstorm until your gut tells you that you have identified the culprit(s).

Come up with three historical incidents that prove all limiting beliefs false.

For example: You want to start a business, but fear you will fail because you've never done it or you've tried before and it didn't work out.

Ask yourself: When have I tried something new and succeeded? Don't be literal. Be honest, but creative and generous. Find times when you have succeeded at something new, then make the valid argument that you can and will succeed in your business.

2. You don't believe in your dream.

This can fall into at least two different categories:

Refer to #1 above: you don't really believe in yourself and or your ability to make it happen.

You have chosen someone else's dream or a sloppy, poorly thought out dream.

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

Refer to the advice under #1 above if you don't believe in yourself.

Is your dream one you sloppily picked up from your family or culture? For example: you want to be a doctor because the culture says being a doc is a good thing. Or, are you choosing your family's or friends' dream for you?

Ask yourself why you want this. Will it bring you intrinsic fulfillment? (As opposed to extrinsic pleasure). Is there anything else that brings you more intrinsic fulfillment?

In all cases, ask yourself "what will it realistically take to prevail?

Am I willing to do what it takes?" (Now isn't necessarily the time for optimism. Analyze under worst case and most likely case. That is, unless this truly is your one passion and you are willing to sacrifice anything to make it happen. Then I would advise throwing out any and all doubt.)

3. You tend to seek negatives in life, circumstances or others.

Studies show optimists are happier, healthier and more successful. If you seek or tend to find negatives in situations and people, you are most likely negatively affecting many areas of your life, including risk-taking, creativity and relationship building.

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

Remain self-aware. Make it a rule to catch yourself whenever you think or feel negativity, including judgment, resentment, anger, fear, etc.

Don't be hard on yourself. You are human. Your brain naturally seeks threats. Be compassionate, understanding, patient and loving with yourself.

When you catch yourself going negative, make it a rule that you ask yourself "what is positive about this situation or person."

4. You seek and take the path of least resistance.

Along with seeking threats, this is a natural tendency of our brains. This increased the probability of survival during the hundreds of millennia the human brain developed.

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

Again, self-awareness. Identify when you are taking the path of least resistance.

Learn to savor the exhilaration of challenge and success. The famous saying is so true: "the magic happens when we move out of our comfort zone."

As long as you and others are physically and psychologically safe and as long as you are living to your highest values, make moving out of your comfort zone emotionally and psychologically pleasurable and rewarding. Each time you do move out of your comfort zone, create heightened pleasure, joy and pride within. Feel it. Celebrate it. Congratulate yourself on your slaying fear and timidity.

5. You can no longer see the trees for the forest or the forest for the trees.

Most of us take a job because it will pay better than most or all other opportunities. Or because there are no other opportunities. Even if we take it because we think it's a stepping stone to our dream, there is a tendency to lose the forest (life vision) for the trees (current responsibilities), as well as the trees (what action we can take today to move towards our ultimate life vision) for the forest (again, overwhelmed with the plethora of current responsibilities).

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

Visit or revisit your highest values, virtues life vision or life purpose. Your purpose is likely to be that thing that brings you the greatest intrinsic fulfillment (meaning) that also serves other people.

Then ask yourself how you can live in and pursue your highest virtues, values and vision from within your current work. Follow this path with your greatest intention, attention and action.

If your current work precludes actualize your highest self, then find out what will and what you have to do to successfully move in that direction.

6. You give in to the drug of avoidance.

You spend more than an hour a day, on average, playing video games, watching TV or internet surfing. Like most people, you probably spend three to four hours a day doing these things. That is because the immediate chemical/emotional high (video games) or numbing (TV or surfing) is easier and more pleasurable to you than is investing your time and energy in personal and professional development.

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

The best solution to this self-sabotaging inclination is to attack from the positive motivation and negative motivation perspectives:

i) After meditating, visualize clearly -- that is, vividly see, hear and feel yourself living your greatest life purpose, goals and passions successfully, fully, massively. Let this pull you forward, providing inspiration, motivation and energy, while it also provides a clear, specific point you habitually move towards.

ii) Also create a deep, intrinsic level of frustration and emotional pain and associate these negatives intimately to those activities you typically use to waste time -- such as video games and internet surfing.

By approaching this from intrinsic fulfillment and intrinsic pain, you boost the positive and negative motivation factors.

A word of advice. Most people are most motivated by moving away from pain. More so than by moving towards pleasure and fulfillment. So, use the power of negative motivation factors.

This said, it is important to spend more time, focus and energy on positive, purpose and passion motivation. And always end visualizations on your positive motivators. I won't go into the reasons here, but just know that it's wise to spend more time on where you are going, as it is also important to end visualizations on positive motivators.

7. Fear baby.

Our brains naturally seek threats. Fear comes from what appears to be a threat. Understand your brain naturally seeks threats (as noted above).

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

Recognize you are almost certainly naturally risk-averse as a vestige of the evolution of your brain. This may be working against you.

Analyze situations for true threat. Ask yourself "what is the worst that could happen here? What is most likely?" If you can live with "most likely," and if the worst case is unlikely and if the potential upside is meaningful, take a risk. Great things always require great risk.

Do you want a great life? Or a safe life? Either is OK, but know who you are and make decisions appropriate to your soul, not your fearful mind.

8. Indecision.

Indecision most often arises out of one of two things: fear (addressed above) or not knowing or living your highest values.

Mindset and Success Strategy to Defeat This Self-sabotage

As mentioned above, brainstorm your highest virtues, values and life purpose. People who know, trust and are set in these three things are highly decisive and rarely, if ever, indecisive.

When we know who we are, what we are about, what is most important to us, it's easy to act. We intuitively know what decision is in alignment with our highest selves and vision. And if we are synchronized with these things, we will always act based on values, virtues and vision and not on fear, laziness or indecision.

A few closing words. When we know ourselves. When we have clearly defined virtues, values and vision. And when we craft and feel genuine self-love - not to be confused with arrogance, superiority or bravado - and a passion to make a difference in the world, we likely will not experience, and certainly won't succumb, to these most common obstacles.

Peace, prosperity and positive personal power my friends.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Top-8-Self-Sabotage-Mistakes-We-Make---Attitude-and-Mindset-for-Prosperity,-Goals-and-Success&id=9644559

Message From the Universe: Show Your Love for What You Do!

"Approach everything you care about as if you really, really mean it.

And I really, really mean it -

The Universe"

Be passionate, be compassionate and put love in everything you do from this point forward. People get discouraged too quickly when things do not go their way, either at work or in their personal lives. Once discouraged, they lose that passion from within and it shows clearly in the way they interact with others. It's not abnormal to feel this way when you invest so much time, energy into something and it doesn't pan out. You lose hope and desire to continue putting in so much effort not knowing for certainty the outcome of your investment. There is never any guarantee in life, either it being relationship or venture. However, the ONLY thing that you can control is HOW you put in the energy that is required to increase the probability of a positive outcome. If you feel down, fake it until you make it big. Smile, find things you can do that make you happy and I can assure you that your mood will change. You will not feel depressed any longer because you will find new ways to change your perception and interpretation of the negative things happening in your life.

Look into yourself for a minute and see what you are feeling, at this moment. Are you happy? Are you depressed? Do you feel alone? Do you feel discouraged or disinterested about work or business? How are you dealing with your emotions? If you see a problem, are you willing to change things around? Are you going to take action? What are you willing to do today to make things be different for tomorrow? OK then, you have lots of questions to answer, so get to work! Pronto!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Show-Your-Love-for-What-You-Do!&id=9502102

Reflections of Your Glory

Thought the word glory would never apply to you? It applies to everyone! Most people live their life without ever giving a thought to how their words and actions may be a reflection of the glory of who they became. For those who are aware the results are far more profound! Where are the reflections of your glory?

Just look around you for the results, search your memories and pay attention! The following are only a few examples you can review to see the results of your guidance and beliefs that have touched others' lives.

1. The most obvious is your children. Who are they? Were they filled with childhood dreams? Did they rest peacefully at night knowing that whatever might be lurking in the shadows, your love protected them? Did you inspire their creativity or ignite a spark of passion that encouraged them to try harder or go the distance? If they are secure, well balanced and unafraid to pursue their dreams your parenting experience has been brilliant.

2. Do you take the time to acknowledge your parents, to notice the elderly and their special needs? Do you offer them respect for their years of wisdom gained? Do you encourage their independence while providing the necessary protection they require? When you replace mediocrity in their lives with understanding and unconditional love you reinforce the beauty of the life force.

3. How do you relate to the homeless or less fortunate people whose path you cross? Do you offer a smile and look them in the eye? Do you encourage them, feed them or contribute with ideas that may inspire them to see solutions? Your willingness and ability to relate to those less fortunate with empathy and compassion are major indicators of character. If you take the time to greet them as equals, to see the glory in them, you have re-instilled their faith in tomorrows that can be filled with wonder.

4. How do you perceive animals in your life? Do you take the time to appreciate the unyielding love, loyalty and devotion your animal friends offer? Do you take the time to acknowledge pets, to offer a loving pat that says 'I notice you and I care?' Do you take the time to care about and act on abused or injured animals? If so, you have shared the grandeur of selfless love.

5. Are you aware of the gifts of nature that surround you? Do you respect the planet for all that it provides? Do you make the effort to conserve water and energy to prevent unnecessary depletion of her natural reserves? Do you take the time to inhale the fresh air that is provided, to enjoy her sunrises and sunsets that are before you? If you do, nature is exalted by your gratitude. You are in touch with the splendor of God that is before you.

Taking the time to care, to counsel, to participate and to listen comprise the foundation of living in glory. Add a dash of faith and a sense of humor to ensure a life well lived and a legacy that reflects your true glory.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Reflections-of-Your-Glory&id=9586362

I'm a People Pleaser and I Can't Stand It Anymore (By Kathleen Dwyer Blair)

Help! How do I stop this lifelong pattern of putting everyone's feelings and needs before my own? It feels like it's killing me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Yet, I don't know how to stop. Is it even possible? Is it just too selfish to even consider it? I'm exhausted. Depressed. Anxious. Downright disgusted. I am consistently praised by those I love and society for being so selfless and caring. Yet, I am stressed out and sometimes I feel like I'm dying inside. I feel like I'm drowning. If this sounds like you, then you may be a people pleaser.

What is a People Pleaser? 

A person who is a people pleaser is someone who feels that they must please others, or put others before themselves regardless of the emotional or physical price. Often this pattern comes from a place of feeling that if we don't do this then someone will be angry, disappointed, or may reject or abandon us. The thought of this may feel unbearable, so the pattern of people pleasing continues.

Is This What Life is All About? 

Some of us are in denial about being a people pleaser. Explaining to ourselves that, "I'm just a caring, compassionate human being and I really like it. I love doing things for the people that I love and it doesn't really matter how it affects me. I'm good with it."

For others of us we do not feel that we have been people pleasing for so long that it's just hopeless to even imagine changing it. We've always been the one to say yes despite the exhaustion of over-committing ourselves. "Is this what I am destined to do forever? Please others and not myself?"

The Effects of The Need to Please 

It is simply exhausting to be a people pleaser and always trying to figure out what the other person wants and needs. Especially when each person in our life wants and needs something different. Therefore, people pleasing depletes our energy-physically, emotionally and spiritually. We may neglect ourselves and our own needs and we might often become resentful. Yet we still don't stop. Often this is where a psychotherapist can help us explore and work through these patterns.

How Did This Pattern Start? 

For many of us, our people pleasing behavior was born and nurtured during our childhood. This behavior may have been a result of being raised in an alcoholic, or otherwise dysfunctional, family. Or becoming a people pleaser may have been because of being a middle child who may have felt invisible. Doing things for others may have been one of the only ways of receiving positive attention. We were the straight A student, or the child who always asked mom or dad "Can I help you?" thus, the son or daughter everyone wanted. Then the positive attention may have been reinforced by our parents, siblings, extended family and teachers.

My wish for you is that you can take the time today to make yourself a priority and do something that brings you happiness and joy.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Im-a-People-Pleaser-and-I-Cant-Stand-It-Anymore&id=9739821

Willingness to Do the Right Thing - Part 2

Sometimes the hard thing comes in very mundane situations. For example you are in the midst of trying to get something done that you have kept putting off. Then you get a phone call from a close friend or family member. They are in a bad place and they want to talk. Do you continue to try working while sort of listening but continually wishing they would say good bye? Or do you set aside your work and give them your wholehearted attention? When they hang up and the thought comes to you to consider doing something more; like going to keep them company or bringing something to cheer them up, do you ignore that thought telling yourself you are too busy? Or do you respond to it by doing an act of kindness? These are major hard things or so they seem at the time. However when we miss the opportunity and reflect upon it later we realize how we blew it. We need to grow in awareness when we are passing up a key opportunity to deepen an important relationship. They don't often come at times that are convenient. That is why we need to heighten ourselves to greater sensitivity to those moments so we can rise above our emotions that want us to ignore someone else's problem and focus on our task at hand. This is especially challenging for those personality types like Dominant Directors and Cautious Thinkers who tend to be more task oriented. They need to find ways to curb their natural inclination and step back and recognize the importance of their relationships. If we compared the value of what seemed to be so important to the value of the relationship, we would be appalled at our short sightedness. That relationship investment will pay dividends for years to come. That seemingly important task will be long forgotten.

Hard things in marriage are often overlooked. An outsider would consider it as hilarious or tragic sometimes as to what we consider too unimportant to invest an extra few minutes of effort to accomplish. Unfortunately those things we neglect can often create cracks in the relationship so that when something really difficult shows up the relationship can't handle the extra weight. In other words there were no regular deposits in the emotional bank account to offset the withdrawals. This has often resulted in a spouse leaving a marriage when everything appeared to be okay. The spouse being left behind can often be bewildered at what to them has been totally unexpected.

In parenting doing the hard thing could involve incorporating a meaningful discipline even though it makes us unpopular with our children. It is so easy to get caught up with wanting to be popular with our children. It is a temptation that needs to be resisted. After all we are their parent not simply their friend. We have a responsibility to ensure our children become responsible and successful adults with all their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual capacities intact. As ancient wisdom says, "Train a child in the way he (she) should go and when he (she) is old he (she) will not depart from it."

In business there are many opportunities to do the hard thing. If we postpone letting someone go because we don't want to be the "bad guy" then we are foregoing our responsibility. We don't benefit our business or them to allow them to continue in a position that is not suited to their genius. We can still be compassionate and assist them in whatever way is appropriate to get new employment. In Europe there have been instances where governments did not raise the possibility of cutting wages and pension benefits for fear of creating an unpopular backlash. They maintained the status quo and allowed the fiscal morass to get ever larger and more intractable. Now those countries are stretched to their max as to how they are going to finance even the basics of what their citizens expect to be provided. Both the business and the government examples demonstrate the perils of making decisions with only the short-term being considered. Truly wise decisions also consider the long-term. A person's life reflects the quality of their decisions made with the long-term in view. Steven Covey's book "The Seven Habits of the Highly Effective Person" describes this as making a decision with the end in mind.

This excerpt is from "Unlimited - Anything is Possible." You can have a life that is remarkable and memorable. If you are in leadership then this is a book that will give you a framework to make decisions important to your success as a leader. This book is designed to create awareness and actions regarding key areas affecting our ability to make good decisions, so we can look back at our life with a sense of satisfaction and joy.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Willingness-to-Do-the-Right-Thing---Part-2&id=9502330

How to Be More Compassionate at Work

How compassion can short-circuit stressors in the workplace.

Have you ever dreaded going into work because the people around you were in a negative spiral of energy? We are emotional beings and we can’t help but be affected by the varying moods and interactions we have with others. Life is always changing and this constant change can create difficult thoughts and emotions, which can flow into the workplace. The silver lining is that if we can meet suffering at work with concern and care, compassion naturally arises. Work environments that cultivate compassion create a much more positive and productive place to work.

We can experience a variety of difficulties at work. Organizational actions may trigger suffering like job loss and downsizing. It was found in a study that downsizing unsettles people who lose their jobs and distresses survivors who are concerned about their colleagues’ losses, along with their own job security (Mishra et al. 2009). Suffering at work may arise from events in an individual’s personal life, including marital or relationship difficulties, a child’s special needs, divorce, or loss of a family member.

When distressed employees received acts of compassion like emotional support, time off from work, or flowers, they demonstrated more positive emotions such as joy and contentment, and had greater commitment toward their workplace organization.

Compassion is an interpersonal process involving the ability to notice, feel, or perceive another person’s pain and to be with or take action to alleviate that person’s suffering. Over the last 6 years, Jane Dutton at the University of Michigan has studied an array of organizational settings (hospitals, universities, and businesses like Macys and Cisco). She found that when distressed employees received acts of compassion like emotional support, time off from work, or flowers, they demonstrated more positive emotions such as joy and contentment, and had greater commitment toward their workplace organization. These results existed regardless of whether employees received compassion directly or merely witnessed it.

As a consultant supporting workplaces to be healthy and mindful, I teach and encourage compassion for oneself and others in the workplace. When mindfulness (paying attention to the present moment) and compassion are present, they support greater stress resiliency. Stress inevitably spills into the workplace and this often contributes to less productivity and higher health care costs, but with a dose of compassion, we can bounce back from the ups and downs of life with strength and greater ease. Below are some tips that I have encouraged and research also supports.

Compassion in Action At Work

• Take greater notice of your fellow employees’ psychological well-being. For example: If an employee has experienced a loss, such as a divorce or death in the family, someone should contact that employee within 24-48 hours and offer help. Melwani et al. (2012) demonstrated that people who act compassionately are perceived more strongly as leaders and that perceived intelligence (i.e., how clever and knowledgeable the person is) bridges the relationship between compassion and leadership.

• Encourage and display more positive contact among employees. In many workplaces where I consult, there are meeting spaces that can be utilized for informal groups and gatherings. Planned groups can be encouraged weekly or monthly and allow for more opportunities to notice when someone needs help or support and then to offer it.

• Invite more authenticity and open communication in the workplace. If we can keep the communication lines open with respect and kindness, we allow for time to talk about what may need attention and/or empathic connection.

• Take on the perspective of the other person. In other words, this person is “just like me.” This is also known as “cognitive empathy,” or simply knowing how the other person feels and what they might be thinking. This type of empathy can help in negotiating or motivating people to give their best effort.

• Start with self-compassion. In order to truly have compassion for others, we must have compassion for ourselves.

Self-Compassion Practice

Recall a time in the last few days when you experienced some difficulty. Invite compassion towards yourself with these simple phrases.

As you breathe in and out, repeat these phrases as many times as needed. If it is challenging to offer compassion towards yourself, imagine someone who has love for you saying the words below:

May I, you be free from sorrow and pain

May I, you find ease in this struggle

May I, you find peace and healing

May I, you find openness of heart

In the Blooming Lotus online course, we practice mindfulness and well being in daily life. The focus for September is compassion and we would love to have you practice with us.

What if you went to work in a place where you felt trust, compassion, and enthusiasm? Practice more compassion towards yourself and others and let me know how it goes.

http://www.mindful.org/how-to-be-more-compassionate-at-work/

I Gave Up Alcohol For 31 Days. Here's How It Transformed My Life

Just over a year ago, I was at the airport, returning home from a business trip to London and feeling like crap from the night before. It hit me that l'd been drinking more than I had ever intended.

I realized I desperately needed to reevaluate my relationship with alcohol. In London, I had heard of a new tradition, a government-sponsored initiative called “Dry January." In short, you pledge to take the month off booze while also raising money for charity. Although I would be spending January in the States, I decided to give it a try. I hoped it would help me transform my overall drinking habits.

I quickly realized that approaching the challenge as if it were an “alcohol diet" would be torture. Instead, I need to change my mentality — focusing not on giving up alcohol but on what’s so great about not drinking.

Not only did I succeed in not drinking that January, but I haven’t had a drink (or even wanted one) ever since.

My mentality has changed from “I don’t get to drink” to the empowering realization that “I don’t have to drink.” Years of drinking convinced me that it was a vital, necessary part of life. The truth is I never actually needed alcohol to enjoy myself, or relieve stress. I only thought I did.

More than 2 million people around the world, including celebrities like Anne Hathaway, made it their resolution to ditch the booze in January and it’s easy to see why. Here are just a few of the ways a Dry January could also transform your life:

1. You'll lose weight.

Alcohol is notoriously full of empty calories. Some drinks, like a Long Island iced tea, have close to 800 calories — almost the same as a fast-food meal. Starting the new year with the goal of losing weight but not abstaining from alcohol is self-sabotage.

Studies have shown that the average participant in Dry January loses about a pound a week and also experiences improvements in other health measures, like blood pressure and cholesterol. Personally, I was pleased to find that I lost 7 pounds in January and a total of 10 pounds in my first six weeks of not drinking.

2. You’ll look younger.

We all know that alcohol dehydrates you — and that can be seriously damaging to your skin, making you appear older than you really are. Plus,studies show that alcohol leads to disruptions in REM sleep, the most restorative phase of the night. And we all know what we look like sleep-deprived!

I've always struggled with skin issues, but after I stopped drinking I noticed my complexion cleared up. My guess is that staying hydrated helped flush toxins out of my body and revitalized my skin. I've also noticed that my teeth stay whiter (I used to drink red wine) and my eyes are clearer. These days, people often tell me, "Wow, you look healthy" — something I never used to hear.

3. Your relationships will improve. 

Alcohol can put a strain on even the best of relationships. We’ve all heard that loose lips sink ships, and alcohol can definitely make you say things you never intended to. It can also make you aggressive and encourage pointless arguments.

Not drinking can help you become a better partner, friend, and family member — you’ll be more engaged, empathetic, and compassionate.

Personally, not only is my marriage at a more peaceful place after I stopped drinking, but our sex life is actually better too!

4. You'll be a better employee.

Some research shows that drinking can dull your brain as much as 20 percent, harming your concentration and memory. Just think about how hard it is to be productive the morning after a night of drinking.

Those few glasses of wine at a business dinner could be what’s holding you back from your next promotion — especially if your co-worker is stone sober.

I believed, for many years, that alcohol was an important part of my corporate success. I thought it made me better at networking and I even gave drinking credit for some of my better work-related ideas.

And yet in the past year of no drinking, I've balanced a full-time executive role and written a book in my spare time. Plus, my work-life balance has improved — it was shocking to realize how much time drinking sucked up. I've found more personal and professional success in the past year than ever before.

5. You'll save money.

By cutting out pricey drinks in January, you'll likely find yourself with a significant amount of extra cash in your account by the end of the month. You can use the money to pay down debt, boost savings after your holiday spending, treat yourself to something special, or donate to charity.

These days, I don’t feel guilty at all about splurging on a massage or treating myself to a movie. All I have to do is compare it to how much money I was spending drinking on a daily basis in order to realize that my checking account is much healthier sans booze.

6. You'll feel better.

Alcohol is a depressant. Not only can it mentally depress you, but it also has a physical impact by messing with your blood sugar levels. But when you aren’t drinking, your body is able to stabilize your hormones and your inner systems so you’re at your prime physically.

In the last year, I’ve had more energy than ever before and weaned myself off the two antidepressant medications I'd been taking, which had been a personal goal for a long time. Further, I now find myself exercising in the mornings instead of nursing a hangover — which means I feel better all day long.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-23077/i-gave-up-alcohol-for-31-days-heres-how-it-transformed-my-life.html

7 Tricks To Stay Calm When Interacting With People You Don't Like

In a perfect world, each human we interacted with would be considerate, mindful, prompt, kind, generous and more. They'd get our jokes and we'd get theirs. No one would ever be cross, snippy, ruffled or anything less than convivial. 

Of course we all know this is not a perfect world. And imperfections all around us are what keep things interesting. That said, I guarantee that most of us frequently come across people who make us tick, or seem to trigger negativity in us for whatever reason. Sometimes we know why, sometimes we don't. Sometimes understanding the negative dynamic makes it easier, other times it seems irrelevant.

Regardless of the particulars, it's important to accept that many people in life that we interact with won't be as considerate, as mindful, as prompt or as kind as we'd like. Inevitably, we too will rub a few people the wrong way. 

In these cases, we may simply choose to accept that we can't get along with everyone ever. But it's also possible to talk with and work alongside people we don't like; in fact, it's a great learning experience for setting boundaries, and being compassionate with both ourselves and others.

Here are seven tips for navigating those tricky relationships, and to remain calm, present and authentic to ourselves in the process: 

1. Appreciate the power of the pause.

For most of us (myself very much included) the moment someone says something that offends me or does something otherwise inconsiderate, I've formed an opinion. I try not to be judgmental of course, but sometimes you just can't help it. When someone's actions or words trigger me, I tend to fast forward: I'll find myself imagining how a project to turn out poorly, how they'll screw up a partnership, how they'll offend clients. 

Because of the very fact that there's infinite potential to fast forward your thoughts into the negative, let's take a moment to collectively remember the power of pausing.

Take a deep breath and one big step back. Now think of what that simple gesture could do for you in a tough interaction. Before you jump to any conclusions, try making a conscious decision to put the judgment on hold for a second. From this pause, you'll be better able to proceed with a mind and heart that are at least slightly more open. 

2. Honor your ability to stay neutral.

Once we've decided we "don't like" someone, it is so, so easy to view every last thing they do through a lens of negativity: "Look at her! Grabbing those tea bags like she is a professional barista!"

Remember that the person you don't like is not an intrinsically bad human. He/she is someone's child. He/she is probably someone's spouse or parent. People love him/her and look forward to their emails.

You don't have to love this person, but realize the difference between "not connecting" with someone and actively nursing a grudge toward them. It can feel like getting your feathers ruffled is the easiest option when something or someone triggers you. But ultimately, negativity totally becomes a vicious cycle and makes things worse. Remember: your ability to stay neutral really is there inside of you. So honor it.

3. Ask "What if ...?"

Any question beginning with the words "What if ..." is a powerful one. It allows you to see any situation according to its infinite alternatives. It goes without saying that in a situation or interaction you perceive as negative, there is inevitably a way to see a positive spin — even if it's just that you can learn from the challenging aspects.

So look for the good, and not in a cliché way. Really tune into the present situation and consider alternatives. Make a conscious effort to note and acknowledge your trigger-person's strong suits. Does he/she always pull his weight in group projects? Is he/she patient with questions? When you notice these more positive alternatives, point them out to yourself.

4. Create some space for yourself.

If you're really, really struggling with this person, allow yourself to take some space. Go work in another room, sit at the other end of the conference table, mingle in other circles at the networking event. You can also give yourself psychological space; realize you don't need to respond to his comments in the big, group email. You're not required to take part in the discussions he/she initiates. This time and space will be healing, and prepare you to be better able to deal with the person and/or situation that is stressing you out.

5. Maintain those boundaries.

If this person causes you to feel exactly the same way every time you engage with him/her, think about how you can create boundaries that will keep you sane. If he/she's always alluding to making tons of money (while you are potentially feeling some financial stress), politely tell him/her that your New Year's resolution is to limit money conversations to your accountant.

If someone asks too many personal questions, you can tell them. If they're always irritating you with their political or religious diatribes, kindly tell them you're avoiding conversations about these sorts of hot-button topics for right now.

6. Give people the benefit of the doubt (or at least pretend you are).

This one's simple (but not necessarily the easiest). For instance, if someone cuts you in line, try saying this: "Oh no! You must not have realized that the line starts back there. It's not totally clear!" That way, the other person has a chance for redemption (after all, we can all be careless now and again). 

Of course, you needn't do this every single time someone "screws up," but extending a bit of grace and generosity to people (whether it's real or a result of "faking it") is beneficial. Not only is it a better idea to assume first that someone simply didn't realize there was a line, for example, but it will make you feel less stirred up and stressed out. 

7. Realize that what you don't like in others is frequently what you don't like in yourself.

Ooof. That's hard to hear, isn't it? But if we're being real, that person's inclination to be late or interrupt or make awkward jokes is often tied to our fears about our own sense of humor or tardiness.

So before you add someone to your Don't Like List, take a moment to consider what exactly you are clinging to about them. What do these things say about you? Are there any connections you can make? Get curious, and radically honest.

It's doubtful that you will like everyone you meet. But with a bit of perspective and empathy, you'll be able to navigate life as if unfazed.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17839/7-tricks-to-stay-calm-when-interacting-with-people-you-dont-like.html