You Are an Empath?

"I'm an empath," said the person next to me at our regular group meeting.

"You are? How do you know?"

"I realised it after reading some articles that explained the behaviour of an empath person-and then my physician confirmed it."

"Can you give me a few more details?"

"As an empath, I'm easily overwhelmed by the stress and feelings of not only my loved ones but of everyone around me. I think I absorb other people's emotions because I have a really high level of sensitivity. But after a while, I feel exhausted and unhappy; I instantly lose my emotional balance and mental energy."

"Maybe you're just a highly sensitive person?"

"I don't think so; here's the definition of an empath: 'a sensitive person who easily experiences burnout.' Google defines burnout as 'physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress.'"

"What causes it?"

"Spending too much time in life's fast lane. If we don't slow down, our mental and physical energy levels become overloaded, and we easily rush into a stressful state."

"Why do we let it happen?"

"Probably because of emotional pain and anxiety. We feel out of balance, as though we're never efficient enough. It's a terrible feeling, believe me."

"Sorry to hear that."

"Yeah-everyone has too much to do. The worst part about it is that we begin to lose our mental capacity, our memory and our ability to think rationally.

"That sounds scary."

"It is scary. When the mind doesn't work properly, the physical body suffers as well. Empathy is a state of chronic stress, and you know how harmful chronic stress is. It affects all your body's functions."

"Sounds like a path to self-destruction."

"Yeah. It is."

"I heard some very positive stuff about empaths... like they're people with "a good heart," who are very spiritual and sensitive. They're good listeners, and they're always there for you. If they're in a peaceful and loving environment, their bodies take on these characteristics and flourish. Is that true?"

"Probably yes-generally speaking. Some of us experience the world through intuition, which is important for the development of our 'gut feelings' about people. I feel that some people drain my energy; so as an empath, sometimes I need to be alone. Not always-but sometimes. That's my way of protecting myself from an emotional overload. On the other hand, as an empath, I want to try to relieve the pain of those around me, which is an impossible task. We're very complicated people, aren't we?"

"Not at all. To me, empaths are beautiful, sensitive and caring people who are ready to save the world. They suffer more than anyone can understand, which is really sad."

"Thanks. I appreciate you are saying that."

"Is there one strategy in particular, that's works well for empaths?"

"The first step is to acknowledge and to accept that we are empaths and to learn how to take care of ourselves in every situation. The next step is to make changes-to restore our core energy-with exercise, meditation and healthy food. It's important, too, to surround ourselves with supportive people. We also need to protect our sensitivities with strategies such as time management, and we have to learn to set limits and boundaries."

"Thanks for some good information."

http://ezinearticles.com/?You-Are-an-Empath?&id=9644700

Good to Great - 8 Step Self-Programming

Have you wondered how there is a median of people whether in the world, workforce or wherever that are Good at what they do? Yes, millions. Right? How about the number of people you know or have read or heard about that are GREAT? Well yes, lots but they are the exception to the rule. Why? How did that happen for them? Many of you may have the inclination to say they were helped, born with it or are just plain lucky.

I am here to tell you that you too can be GREAT at whatever your heart and soul have determined for you. Those gut feelings, excitement when thinking about a passion or wants in your life. I know that feeling and have suppressed it for many years only to realize there is more to me, more to my life and what's more is, just thinking about it makes my soul jump for joy and send me signs that are indicating I knew it all along but for one reason or another pushed that dream, that feeling, that wish down until it was almost lost.

Here are 8 ways to go from Good to Great without winning the lottery... but you never know now do you? I know that one small change in your outlook, habits or beliefs will have immediate effects in your life.

1. Cut the negative thinking crap out of your head and thoughts. This one thing alone will bring you benefits you cannot imagine. It is a habit and like any habit it takes willpower and dedication to overcome. Turn every single thing you normally would have a negative spin to and see what possible positives there is. Is it a learning experience, is it a lesson, is it going to impact your wellbeing? Not likely. I know this is a hard habit to break because I have been there. This was the MOST valuable turning point for me that I have ever experienced.

2. Stop playing the victim. It is the most selfish, self-serving thing you do. It's never your fault, it's just the way your life is going, I never asked for this heartache and on and on. I could probably write a book of all the LAME excuses people have to keep themselves stuck in this comfortable role. Star health, positive self-talk. Think about all the amazing things you have in your life that you are grateful for. Make this a habit. Gratefulness is key to cracking the shell of self-pity which is exactly what playing the victim is.

3. BE GRATEFUL!!! For what you may ask? If we were standing face to face my expression to this would reveal that I would think you were a fool. Honestly! Think about one thing you are grateful for right now before reading on. Got it? I knew it. Nice start my friend! You are well on your way. Now for 30 days IN A ROW, say out loud 2 things you are grateful for each day. Shake it up a bit. Have fun because I know there are so many things we all take for granted.

4. Be responsible for your own life. You own it! No one can tell you what to do and you doing it without you yourself ALLOWING that to take place. Be strong. Set your boundaries so you learn to say no to things that are not really you. Do you want to change careers? Do you want to get rid of clutter but others make you feel guilty about getting rid of it? Do you want to take a course on something? Regardless of what it is. Where there's a will there's a way. There are online courses that are free of charge, Organizations that will come to pick up your donations for free and on and on. IF you want a change and life feels a bit like your purpose is dying... get off the pot and do something about it.

5. Create a Vision Board or wall. Cut out from magazines things you would like to materialize in your life. Print out pictures from the internet. Whatever it is big or small look at this as much as possible and feel deep inside how good that feels to you to have this in your life. My vision board is in my bathroom against the side of the mirror where I can see and feel the energy every time I walk in that room. I also have another vision area by my treadmill. This daily vision helps to visualize what it is you want to materialize in your life and also helps to raise your energy vibrations to create and attract that very thing. It is such a feel good thing.

6. Smile. Get that frown or scowl off your face. You are sending out negative vibes to the world and are less likely to have positive people and influences enter your life. It is an extremely powerful message to the world when you are smiling and enjoying life. Good things come faster to happy people. Look around you if you start to feel that smile leaving you. Even on the ride to work there are people, children, bill boards, vehicles, the sun, the moon, the clouds etc that are some of the millions of things that we have in our life and seeing the beauty or fun in them is a great way to look at the world and smile.

7. Stop reading the newspaper and watching the news. I cannot think of anything that is a downer more that those two things. It is that simple and the results are amazing. Who cares if you don't know the latest fad or catastrophe? I hear about things like that and I tell people I chose not to take part in news that will not benefit my positive energy and thoughts. Saves time and money as well. Grab a good book or go for a walk or spend time with family or friends that will keep you in a high positive vibration.

8. Meditate. Many people think this is a waste of time. On the contrary. It is so extremely valuable at any age. The benefits of sitting and quieting the mind and getting rooted with your body and mind is not only amazing it is the direct line to your soul. Meditation reduces stress, improves concentration, is a vital part in a healthy lifestyle, increases happiness, slows aging, increases self-acceptance, lessens worry, anxiety and impulsivity, helps manage ADHD, and increases grey matter concentration in the brain. These are but a few of the amazing benefits of meditation. It does take practice but practice makes perfect.

I have given you 8 simple ideas to assist you from being Good to heading in the fast lane to GREAT! There comes a time in your life that you need to take an inventory of what is working versus what isn't and make a change. This is your life. How do you want to live it? It's up to you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9514084

http://ezinearticles.com/?Good-to-Great---8-Step-Self-Programming&id=9514084

What Is Luck?

Luck is considered by many to be a force of nature, coming and going as inevitably as the tide.

A study has found that "lucky" individuals usually posses many intersecting qualities, including extroverted personalities, a lack of anxiety, open-mindedness, and optimism. Each of these plays an important role in one's luck production.

The essence of luck is opportunity, so it follows that the more opportunities one encounters and the more receptive one is to those opportunities, the "luckier" one is. It was found that lucky people smile twice as often as others, and engage in more eye contact than unlucky people do. Such outgoing, extroverted behavior exposes a person to more opportunities due to the increased social interaction. Similarly, open-mindedness allows one to encounter a greater number of unique prospects, and makes one more apt to embrace new opportunities.

Born Lucky

Some birthdays are better bets than others. Scientists don't tend to buy into astrology, yet they've established that certain conditions such as schizophrenia, and even personality traits such as novelty seeking, are linked to birth months. It's not the planets at work per se, but rather subtle influences on fetal brain development due to factors including sleep and wake cycles and the prevalence of viruses that differ from season to season.

Across genders and ages, people born between March and August believe themselves to be luckier, on average, than those born in the colder months of September through February. (Relatedly, summer babies grow up to be more open-minded and less neurotic than winter tots.) May is the luckiest month of all.

Think Lucky

The best opportunities arise when you approach life with a flexible mind-set. See how you can get out of the unlucky column:

If you think this way about: Romantic Relationships

"Here's my checklist. He has to be smart, attractive, and financially secure, subscribe to The New York Times, love to cook, and love dogs."

Try this approach instead: "I don't really have a type. I'm open to anyone as long as he's a good person. I'll know it when I see it."

If you think this way about: Work

"I need to finish this project by 11, team meeting at 12, and lunch at 1, finish that report this afternoon, and I'm home free by 6."

Try this approach instead: "I want to try to accomplish two major things today, but in my downtime, I'm going to explore a few other ideas that could help the company or my career."

If you think this way about: Friendships

"I already have a handful of really wonderful friends. I don't need or have time for anymore."

Try this approach instead: "I love to make new friends, even if it never goes farther than a conversation and being friends on Facebook."

If you think this way about: Errands

"I need to hit the dry cleaner, the bank, and the grocery store. I should be home in time for the game."

Try this approach instead: "I have to get these things done, but I'm not going to rush because I don't really know what to expect or whom I'll meet. It will be interesting to see how it works out."

If you think this way about: Business Meetings

"I'm meeting up with this person to do a deal, not thinking of them as a friend or a potential partner."

Try this approach instead: "I'll accept a meeting with anyone, anytime, because you never know where it might lead-even if its five years down the road."

Lucky and Unlucky people- A comparison

Unlucky people often fail to follow their intuition when making a choice, whereas lucky people tend to respect hunches. Lucky people are interested in how they both think and feel about the various options, rather than simply looking at the rational side of the situation. I think this helps them because gut feelings act as an alarm bell - a reason to consider a decision carefully.

Unlucky people tend to be creatures of routine. They tend to take the same route to and from work and talk to the same types of people at parties. In contrast, many lucky people try to introduce variety into their lives. For example, one person described how he thought of a color before arriving at a party and then introduced himself to people wearing that color. This kind of behavior boosts the likelihood of chance opportunities by introducing variety.

Lucky people tend to see the positive side of their ill fortune. They imagine how things could have been worse. In one interview, a lucky volunteer arrived with his leg in a plaster cast and described how he had fallen down a flight of stairs. I asked him whether he still felt lucky and he cheerfully explained that he felt luckier than before. As he pointed out, he could have broken his neck.

Four principles to help one increase their good fortune:

Principle One: Maximize Chance Opportunities Lucky people are skilled at creating, noticing and acting upon chance opportunities. They do this in various ways, including networking, adopting a relaxed attitude to life and by being open to new experiences.

Principle Two: Listening to Lucky Hunches Lucky people make effective decisions by listening to their intuition and gut feelings. In addition, they take steps to actively boost their intuitive abilities by, for example, meditating and clearing their mind of other thoughts.

Principle Three: Expect Good Fortune Lucky people are certain that the future is going to be full of good fortune. These expectations become self-fulfilling prophecies by helping lucky people persist in the face of failure, and shape their interactions with others in a positive way.

Principle Four: Turn Bad Luck to Good Lucky people employ various psychological techniques to cope with, and often even thrive upon, the ill fortune that comes their way. For example, they spontaneously imagine how things could have been worse, do not dwell on the ill fortune, and take control of the situation.

Unsurprisingly, optimism plays a key role in luckiness, since it strongly affects luck production and luck perception. A study shows that a lucky, optimistic person is far more satisfied with all areas of their lives than an unlucky, pessimistic person. An optimist feels lucky for spotting a silver lining, however gray the cloud... yet a pessimist will curse their luck even in the face of good fortune, because they can't see past the green grass on the other side of the fence.

Fortunately, one's mindset is entirely within one's control. An unlucky person who resolves to change their luck can become more social; they can make a conscious effort to be optimistic and make the best of any situation; and they can be more open to new ideas and experiences.

http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Is-Luck?&id=9460234

Make These 5 Mistakes If You Really Want to be Successful

If you really want success, try making some classic mistakes.

If you are starting up a new enterprise or looking to race up the company hierarchy, you're likely to be worried about making career mistakes. Basic mistakes such as missing deadlines or gossiping about the boss are probably going to have a negative impact on your progress.

However, there are some snafus that can actually help you on your path. Here are five career mistakes that could make you a better worker and more successful entrepreneur.

1) Getting Engrossed in Social Media

While social media interaction can be fraught with potentially career damaging mistakes, getting engrossed in social media can make you a more successful entrepreneur, or even help you find a better job more easily. Many recruiters use social media platforms to look for additional candidate information.

Social media interaction can be a great way to develop valuable networking skills, or get a good sense of what your target market is like, which are both essential when developing your new enterprise. Building a presence on social media channels may look like a waste of time to more traditional coworkers, but it can raise your profile and your career prospects. Just be careful with your posts and keep it positive and professional.

2) Socializing With Co-Workers

Work-related events out of the office and even company retreats can be a source of great embarrassment, often because of alcohol-related activities. Most people have experienced the embarrassment of coming into work after letting their hair down a little too much. If you find yourself socializing with one particular work group more often because of social activities, this can contribute to the development of cliques, which can be harmful to office morale.

While these aspects of socializing with coworkers can be problematic, your work colleagues can be a great source of support. They can help you develop diplomacy skills and other tools needed in the politics of your field or in developing an enterprise. Just take care not to align yourself with one particular group. Mix up your socializing routine a little to maintain a range of allies and resources.

3) Accepting Make-Ends-Meet Positions

Most of us will find ourselves struggling to secure a position in our career path at some point. Settling for a job just to make ends meet can be tough for many of us who once held an impressive rank at a top company, but nothing lasts forever except for change. It may be sad or frustrating to take a job that you might have once thought was "below" you, but forget about that. These types of positions can be beneficial.

If you currently have a lower level sales floor position or job waiting tables, you probably won't want to focus on those when you interview for higher profile work. However, you can use these more humble positions to your advantage. They can help you break out of your shell, encourage you to be a better listener and help you develop the drive you need to establish a successful enterprise.

4) Ditching the Pros and Cons Lists

Many experts believe that creating pros and cons lists for potential jobs or projects can be a great tool for making a rational and informed decision. Try making the "mistake" of not using them sometimes. By ditching the pros and cons lists, you may learn to trust your gut more, which can help you in being a better worker and a more successful entrepreneur.
Not all decisions can be rational and informed, so learning to consider your gut feelings can be important. Although new start-ups are encouraged to forecast profits and losses, establishing new client relationships and taking chances often rely more on gut instinct, so ditch the pros and cons lists from time to time.

5) Being Unavailable

Many people assume that being available is the most important factor to potential employers and clients. However, being constantly available can be detrimental. Some of the most highly successful people I know can be pretty hard to get a hold of (and it's not just because it's me trying to reach them). 

Always being accessible can mean that you are failing to delegate responsibilities. This inability to delegate can show employers that you are not a good mentor and can increase your stress levels when you're in charge. Take a little time away from your phone, email and computer. Rely on others and train them to do your work. This shows you're not afraid to potentially leave your current role and move up the ladder.

http://www.inc.com/john-boitnott/make-these-5-mistakes-if-you-really-want-to-be-successful.html

5 Ways to Decide Who You Can Trust

Before you commit, are you sure you're in your 'wise mind'?

One of the most important decisions you make in life is deciding who to trust. Trusting the wrong person can result in abusive relationships, date rape, being taken advantage of, financial losses, and many more undesirable outcomes. It would be nice if the sociopaths who lurk amongst us actually looked suspicious, and if the psychopaths wore labels saying "Be scared, be very scared" Unfortunately, this is not the case. In fact research shows that people with narcissistic personalities who tend to manipulate other people for their own selfish ends actually present as especially charming and attractive on first impression. They also are more likely to have high-status jobs or possessions. So how do you avoid the con man or serial seducer? Understanding your brain's automatic wiring may hold the key.

How Our Brains Judge Character from Facial Appearance

In 2003, Princeton researcher Alexander Todorov showed pairs of pictures to about a thousand people, then asked them to rate who was more competent. The participants did not know they were looking at actual candidates for the House and Senate in prior and upcoming elections. Across several studies, participants’ responses to the question of whether someone looked competent predicted actual election outcomes about 70 per cent (Todorov and his colleague) of the time. Even when people looked for just 1 second, predictions were more accurate than by chance!  A subsequent study showed we make snap judgments about competence based on facial features denoting trustworthiness and dominance. These initial judgments color our perceptions about the individual from then on. The researchers found that the most trustworthy faces had upturned eyebrows and lips, while the least trustworthy faces had eyebrows pointing downwards and lips curled at the edges.

The Split-Second Judgment

In a more recent study, published in the Journal of Neuroscience in August, 2014, researchers from Dartmouth and New York University showed that our brains take just three hundredths of a second, much less time than an eye blink, to decide trustworthiness. In fact, our judgments about trustworthiness are so rapid that we are able to make them even before we know who the person is!  The researchers showed people photos of both real faces and computer-generated faces deliberately designed to look either trustworthy or untrustworthy. Results showed that we judge people with high eyebrows and prominent cheekbones as trustworthy, while we distrust people with furrowed brows and sunken cheeks. There is no evidence that these characteristics actually make people more or less trustworthy in real life!

This rapid, automatic response likely served our ancestors well when they had to decide in the flash of an eye blink whether an approaching stranger was a potential ally or a marauding tribesman coming to kill them. While this rapid response may be helpful to us in certain situations, like walking alone in a dark alley at night, it may actually make our day to day reactions to people biased and inaccurate. Remember, there is no evidence that these "untrustworthy" facial features predict actual behavior! These negative facial stereotypes are probably enhanced when we go to the movies and see villains with sunken cheeks and furrowed brows, like batman's arch-enemy, The Joker, so scarily portrayed by Jack Nicholson. And what about Hollywood's famous brow shaper Anastasia, who made an empire out of trimming celebrities' brows to have precise, high arches?

The Role of the Amygdala

In a second part of their experiment, the Dartmouth and NYU researchers used an fMRI brain scanner to find out what part of the brain lights up when we make decisions about whether to trust somebody. Using a new group of participants, they flashed the faces on a screen for 30 milliseconds, followed by an irrelevant image, in a procedure known as "backwards masking."  This made the brain unable to consciously process the facial features. Results show that our brains process faces and make judgments about trustworthiness even without conscious awareness. This activity occurs in the amygdala—a part of the limbic system that serves as our brain's alarm center. It judges whether something we see (or hear, smell, taste, or touch) is an immediate threat. If it detects a threat, the amygdala initiates a "fight-flight" response that releases a cascade of chemicals to ready our minds and bodies for escape or doing battle.

So it seems we can get into trouble if we follow our 'gut feelings" about whom to trust. Our brains and guts are just reacting automatically based on superficial characteristics that don't predict actual character or behavior.  Perhaps this is why so many innocent young women cheerfully walked off to help serial killer Ted Bundy put books in his car, without an inkling of whom they were really dealing with. Perhaps sunken cheekbones really did signal danger to our ancestors who lived in times of famine. Starving people who had more sunken cheekbones may have been more desperate for food and therefore more likely to harm you to get it. But in modern America, sunken cheekbones don't predict anything (except maybe heroine addiction).  So how do you protect yourself better from untrustworthy types?

How You Can Make Better Choices About Whom to Trust

1. Step Back and Take Time to Think. Don't make important decisions on impulse, whether it's a major purchase, an investment, a change of jobs, joining a gym, or deciding to leave a party with a stranger. Better to go home and mull over the costs and benefits, or consult with a friend whose judgment you trust, before acting.
    
2. Beware the Hard Sell. Many retailers (and lots of online coaches) know that your brain makes less accurate decisions on impulse. If we make decisions on the spot, we are more likely to be drawn in by a special deal or promise that sounds too good to be true. So beware of any offer that expires in the few next hours, or  "one-day only" sales. Sellers will create the appearance of scarcity to lure you into making quick decisions, which means your amygdala decides, rather than your prefrontal cortex, which is designed to weigh choices based on rational factors and past experience.
    
3. Beware of People Who Move Too Fast in Relationships. If you just met a person and they want to be your best friend or the love of your life, be careful: At minimum, this person is probably impulsive and doesn't think things through before acting. They may be projecting a fantasy onto you, or be more into "intensity" than real intimacy when it comes to relationships. They may thrive on drama—then move on quickly when they get bored. At worst, they may be deliberately creating an appearance of intimacy to seduce you or lure you in. The wisest thing is to ask the person to back off a bit so you can take time to get to know them. Decide on your own limits ahead of time—and stick to them.
    
4. Ask Yourself What This Person is Really About. Some people are really good at projecting a confident, sexy, fun-loving spirit or making you feel really attractive and important. But if you take a step back, you may want to ask yourself, How well you actually know this person? And how much are they really into you? Do their eyes wander around the room, looking for their next conquest or to see who is admiring them? How do they treat people like the waitress or cab driver? If you listen carefully to what they say, what are the underlying values? Are they critical and contemptuous of others? Do they remember what you tell them? How considerate and thoughtful are they? Do they have close friends, or are they close to their family? Asking yourself these questions can help you move beyond superficial aspects of the person, to consider qualities that are more important in the long-run.
    
5. Use Your Wise Mind. Psychologist Marsha Linehan coined the concept of "wise mind" to describe a state of mind that integrates logical thinking with emotional awareness. It is a mindful state in which you make decisions by integrating different ways of knowing and don't cut off parts of your experience. If you feel an instant connection with somebody, take this into account, but don't make it the whole basis of your decision. In our wise mind, we don't ignore emotions, but we also don't get so caught up in them that we see only what we want to see, instead of what is actually there. In brain terms, wise mind means integrating our amygdala's intuitive reactions with the wisdom of past experience and knowledge about the world.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201411/5-ways-decide-who-you-can-trust