5 Ways Mentally Strong People Deal With Rejection

Rejection hurts, but it doesn't have to hold you back.

Ever notice how being turned down stops some people from trying again, while others bounce back from rejection stronger than before? Everyone experiences the sting of rejection, but mentally strong people use that pain to grow stronger and become better.

Whether you were excluded from a social engagement, or you were passed up for a promotion, rejection hurts. The way you choose to respond to rejection, however, could determine the entire course of your future.

Here are five ways mentally strong people overcome rejection:

1. They Acknowledge Their Emotions

Rather than suppress, ignore, or deny the pain, mentally strong people acknowledge their emotions. They admit when they're embarrassed, sad, disappointed, or discouraged. They have confidence in their ability to deal with uncomfortable emotions head-on, which is essential to coping with their discomfort in a healthy manner.

Whether you've been stood up by a date or turned down for a promotion, rejection stings. Minimizing the pain by convincing yourself-or someone else-it was 'no big deal' will only prolong your pain. The best way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is to face them head-on.

2. They View Rejection as Evidence They're Pushing the Limits

Mentally strong people know that rejection serves as proof that they're living life to the fullest. They expect to be rejected sometimes, and they're not afraid to go for it, even when they suspect it may be a long shot.

If you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside your comfort zone. You can't be sure you're pushing yourself to your limits until you get turned down every now and then. When you get rejected for a project, passed up for a job, or turned down by a friend, you'll know you're putting yourself out there.

3. They Treat Themselves with Self-Compassion

Rather than think, "You're so stupid for thinking you could do that," mentally strong people treat themselves with compassion. They respond to negative self-talk with a kinder, more affirming message.

Whether you got dumped by your long-term love, or blind-sided by a recent firing, beating yourself up will only keep you down. Speak to yourself like a trusted friend. Drown out your harsh inner critic by repeating helpful mantras that will keep you mentally strong.

4. They Refuse to Let Rejection Define Them.

Mentally strong people don't make sweeping generalizations when they're rejected. If one company turns them down for a job, they don't declare themselves incompetent. Or, if they get rejected by a single love interest they don't conclude they're unlovable. They keep rejection in proper perspective.

One person's opinion, or one single incident, should never define who you are. Don't let your self-worth depend upon other people's opinions of you. Just because someone else thinks something about you, doesn't mean it's true.

5. They Learn From Rejection

Mentally strong people ask themselves, "What did I gain from this?" so they can learn from rejection. Rather than simply tolerate the pain, they turn it into an opportunity for self-growth. With each rejection, they grow stronger and become better.

Whether you learn about areas in your life that need improvement, or you simply recognize that being turned down isn't awful as you imagined, rejection can be a good teacher. Use rejection as an opportunity to move forward with more wisdom.

http://www.inc.com/amy-morin/5-ways-mentally-strong-people-deal-with-rejection.html

6 Valuable Life Lessons You Receive From A Breakup

After my breakup and divorce, life was a struggle. My feelings of sadness crushed me, and I felt consumed and controlled by the pain. Furthermore, I had no idea what I would do with my life or what my future would look like. All I could focus on was how I felt emptiness, fear and the pangs of rejection.

One thing was clear: I had hit rock bottom and was in the worst place of my life that I could remember.

Fast forward three years to where I am today. I can now say with confidence that my relationship ending and my subsequent divorce were the best gifts I’d ever received.

Of course, you're probably now asking yourself, "How?!" Or perhaps you think this revelation is unique to me.

Well, I'd argue that there are at least six ways to see heartbreak as a gift:

1. You realize that you complete you ... no one else can do that.

You complete me. This is one of Hollywood's most tried-and-true lines. 

But I'm sorry, Jerry Maguire, you got it wrong. You complete you! Period.

Once you survive a breakup, you realize that you don’t really need anyone else to complete you or to bring you happiness. You discover that you yourself are enough. You don’t need anyone else to help you become whole. And in fact, thinking of relationships in those terms is dangerous, and breeds codependency.

You are the source of your own happiness. Your actions, self-compassion and self-care remind you that you are enough. Don’t allow loneliness or self-pity to hijack your self-worth.

2. You tap into your inner well of wisdom.

Odds are, your pain has been educational. You feel things that are unfamiliar perhaps, and likely that's why the experience is so scary and unsettling. But you also know much more about yourself now than you ever did before. 

Yes, your heart’s broken, but in the process your mind opens, your feelings come out and even your spirituality awakens. 

Heartbreak is a teacher that helps you become a better version of yourself. If there are ways to improve yourself, you learn about them. If you have an internal conflict or personal struggle, you confront it. If your past is haunting you, it comes up now to face you. 

Now is the opportunity to do the internal work, become a better version of yourself and be thankful for the lessons you’ve learned about yourself. Hopefully, you won’t repeat the same mistakes in a future relationship. 

3. You clear space for true love.

When you’re in the wrong relationship and with the wrong person, it’s hard to break things off. Most of the time this is because we believe it's better to be with someone, anyone, than to be alone. 

But heartbreak from a relationship ending ruptures this false belief. You are no longer holding onto someone who’s “pretty good,” and as a result, you help bring yourself closer to someone who respects you, values you and connects with you. 

In all contexts, you have to let go of what doesn’t fit in your life to welcome what does. 

4. You open up your heart to new people and experiences (and to your true self).

Before your heartbreak, you may have felt disconnected from yourself. You may have become someone else to please your ex or to make the relationship work. You may have closed off yourself from your true feelings and kept them bottled up. 

Now, keeping a brave face and faking it may have gone out the door. You have no choice but to confront your emotions, console your heart and come to terms with what you’re experiencing. 

When your heart breaks, you let go of the walls that protect your heart and the walls you’ve built from your feelings. Become more vulnerable, honest and centered. 

5. You feel a renewed sense of purpose.

When you go through a traumatic experience and the world has shaken you up, you have the opportunity to think about what you’re doing with your life. 

When your heart’s broken, you can ask yourself: What truly matters to me? What do I value? What do I care about? 

What do you want to make a central part of your life, and what do you need to let go of? As you go through this cleansing and simplifying process after heartbreak, you’ll have a better idea of why you’re here in this world.

Get clear on the messages you receive, and start making changes in your life to live your purpose. Do the work you were meant to do. Use the pain of heartbreak to serve others. Make your best contribution to the people around you. 

6. You are more resilient when it comes to accepting change.

Before your heartbreak, you likely fretted about change and tried to avoid it at all costs. Of course, most of us feel this way.

But fear of change is a funny, vicious cycle. Fearing change actually keeps you fearful, anxious and paralyzed in life. When this is the case, you may never want to take any risks or challenges because change feels categorically terrifying.

This aversion to change often keeps us limited and at a distance from expressing our authentic truth. So I invite you to consider this: What if your heartbreak helped you deal with, embrace and accept change? 

If something so certain as your loving relationship ended, maybe anything can end, and open the door for something new. Accepting change will not only help you feel more grateful for whatever you have in your life, it will help you react more positively to life circumstances. 

If you can accept the unacceptable and survive the unimaginable, you are equipped for dealing with life as it shows up. You’ll realize that many things are out of your control. You can deal only with what unfolds in your life, with strength, faith and perseverance.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-20420/6-valuable-life-lessons-you-receive-from-a-breakup.html