Relationships: Do Some People Only Talk To You When They Want Something?

Although relationships can be based on give and take, they can also be out of balance. When this happens, one person can give and another person can take, and this is going to lead to problems.

Normal

However, this is not to say that either of these people will realise that they are out of balance, as it could be something that is outside of their awareness. If one is used to giving more than they receive, it could be how their life has always been.

And if one is used to receiving more than they give, this could also be how their life has been for as long as they can remember. The person who always gives could be fed up with what is taking place, but the person who always receives could have a radically different experience.

Part of Life

Yet even though one person can be in a position where they have had enough of being taken advantage of, it doesn't mean that they will do anything about it. For one thing, they could believe that it is just how life is.

On the other hand, the other person can be used to getting what they want and so they might not see any reason why they should change. This is then part of their life and they will be happy for it to continue.

Reaching Out

As a result of this, the person who gives is more likely to reach out for support than the person who receives. This is because they are not going to be happy with how their life is; whereas the kind of experience that the other person has can stop them from doing anything.

In fact, they could believe that other people should take care of their needs, and there will then be no reason for them to change. So if other people have a problem with their behaviour, it could be normal for them to dismiss it.

A High Turnover

Through being indifferent to the needs of others, it can mean that they don't have the same people in their life for very long. In the beginning someone might not realise what is taking place and then as time passes, it could soon become clear.

But even if this did have a negative effect on them, it could be an experience that soon passes. They could believe that there is nothing wrong with their behaviour, and that other people are the problem.

Hangers-On

When one is used to having people in their life who generally take, they could find that the same people stay around. Now, this is not to say that they are always there; what it can come down to is that they may have been in one's life for quite some time.

At times, one might not hear form them for a few months, and at other times, they could hear from them a few times in the same week, for instance. The reason they stay around is not because they appreciate them, it is because they know they will be there to meet their needs.

From Time To Time

There could be moments when one does receive things from these kinds of people, but even if they do, it is unlikely to make up for everything they have given up until that point. Nevertheless, it could be seen as a big gesture in their eyes, and they could expect to receive something back.

In fact, this could be something that only takes place when they want one to do something for them. It could mean doing something straight after, or they might expect something a few days later.

The Reason

One way of looking at this would be to say that one only hears from these people when they want something. It then won't matter if they want to spend time with them or need their help, as it won't be possible.

It can then appear as though they no longer live in the same area, or seem as though they have left the planet. In reality, they are probably taking advantage of someone else, and until this changes, they could be out of reach.

Distant

Alternatively, one could get in touch with them to see how they are doing and they could answer their question/s, but that could be as far as it goes. They are then happy to extend themselves as one is giving their energy to them and yet they are not willing to return the favour.

One is then making the effort to see how they are doing, but they are going to be wasting their energy. There is also the chance that they will ask how they are and say about meeting in a few days or in a week.

Flaky

After the time has passed, one could find that they can't get hold of them, or they may say that they forgot all about it. They could say that they will contact them and then this doesn't take place.

Clearly, these are things that can happen from time to time, but this is not what is being spoken about here. What this relates to is when this is something that happens on a regular basis.

A Decision

When one is using to having people in their life who behave in this way, it will be important for them to think about whether they won't to put up with it any longer. As all the time they put up with this behaviour, there is going to be no reason for these people to change.

It might also be necessary for one to look into why they put up with, as this could be a sign that they don't value themselves. Therefore, if they started to feel better about themselves, they might no longer put up with this kind of behaviour, and this would then create the space for them to attract people who are different.

Awareness

When this comes to changing how one feels about themselves, it might be necessary for them to work with a therapist. Or they could read up about this area and apply what they learn.

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Celebrities: Can Feeling Worthless Cause Someone To Be Obsessed With Celebrities?

In the past, someone could follow a celebrity through watching TV, buying a magazine and/or through reading a paper, for instance. If they were an actor or an actress, they could also watch their films, or if they were a musician, they would also be able to listen to their music.

Today's World

Nowadays, it is a lot easier for someone to follow a celebrity and this is primarily due to social media. The only thing they need to do is to 'like' their page or to follow them, for instance, and they will be able to stay up to date with what they have been doing.

Yet even if they find that a celebrity doesn't use social media, they can use a search engine to find out about them. Through doing a search on their name, they could come across a number of articles that cover what they have been doing.

Hidden

As they can find out about a celebrity online, it is going to be possible for them to follow them without anyone else knowing. Therefore, they don't need to worry about what other people think.

It can be a part of their life that they keep to themselves, and if they felt as though someone else would support them, they could reveal more. Having said that, someone might not feel the need to keep this hidden and they may want to share this part of their life with others.

Social Media

If they use social media, this is something that can take place through them sharing stories about the celebrities that they follow. But without even doing this, they can 'like' and 'follow' as many celebrities as they want.

They may even find that a number of their 'friends' and 'followers' also appreciate the same people as they do. There is then the chance that they could talk to these people about them and it could have a positive effect on their relationships.

Appreciation

When one focuses on a certain celebrity, they could start to think about how they admire what they do. If they were to ask themselves why this is the case, they might think about how confident they are, how good they look and the level of popularity they have, among other things.

They may also have a certain ability that they are developing or would love to develop. One could see them as a role model and this means that they are having positive effect on their life.

Time to Time

If they were to think about how often they think about these kinds of people, they may find that it is something that takes place from time to time. They could find that they start to think about them when they are looking for inspiration.

Or this might be something that happens after they have seen them in a film or listened to one of their songs, for instance. It is then not something that ends up consuming their whole existence.

Another Experience

However, while it could be said that they are not out of balance, there are going to be other people who could be seen as being out of balance. The reason for this is that they will be in a position where they are obsessed with a certain celebrity or a number of them.

As a result of this, they are not going to think about them from time to time; they will find that they rarely think about anything else. It can then be normal for them to neglect their own life and this can lead to further problems.

Unfulfilled

This can be a sign that their own life is not very fulfilling, and when they look at how a certain celebrity experiences life, they can wonder what it would be like to experience life in the dame way. They could believe that a celebrity is perfect and that they lead the perfect life.

It could be said that one reason why one would come to this conclusion is because there is the chance that they do lead a good life. What will also make a difference is that they are likely to have people around them who will do everything they can to make sure they come across in the right way.

Another Reason

What can also play a part here is that one is likely to be projecting parts of themselves onto them. So the parts that they would like to develop end up being projected onto a celebrity.

In this sense, one is not seeing a celebrity; they are simply seeing their own reflection. Also, if one is not living a very fulfilling life and is then experiencing life from one side of the spectrum, they can end up believing that a celebrity is living a fulfilling life and that they are experiencing life from the other side of the spectrum.

Idealisation

But while they may have moments where they feel good, it doesn't mean they always feel this way; after all, they are still human beings. It might be more accurate to say that although a celebrity has moments where they experience life from the other side of the spectrum; this is not how they always experience life.

For example, they will age like everyone else on this planet and they will also lose people in life. So no matter what they do or how much they earn, they are still going to experience pain like everyone else.

Worthless

When one finds that their thoughts are consumed by a celebrity, it could be said that they need settle their mind down. They could also look into how they feel, as what is taking place in their mind could be a way for them to avoid how they feel.

Their busy mind could then be seen as a defence mechanism that stops them form experiencing the pain in their body. If they were to get in touch with how they feel, they may find that they feel worthless.

Two Extremes

All the time they think about a celebrity, they will be able to avoid how they feel; whereas if they were to stop thinking about them, they might soon come crashing down. So unless they start to feel different in their body, it might not be possible for them to settle their mind down.

When one feels worthless, it can be a sign that they are carrying toxic shame and this can be the result some kind of abuse and/or neglect.

Awareness

If one wants to experience life differently, it will be important for them to process the emotions that are trapped in their body. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.

They can also provide one with the positive regard that they need in order for them to realise their inherent value.

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