10 Reasons People Get Divorced

Although many people assume that infidelity is the leading cause of divorce, the reality is that cheating is usually just a symptom that the marriage was failing long before attentions strayed.

There are many underlying reasons why marriages fail. Some are more obvious than others.

Financial Incompatibility - While a lack of money generally creates a stressful situation for married couples, what really drives them apart is when one spouse is a spendthrift and the other is a saver. Opposites may attract, but not when it comes to managing the marital finances. While things may sail along for a while, often the difference in approaches to managing money will eventually cause an irreparable rift.

Saying "I Do" For The Wrong Reasons - One of the surprising secrets in many marriages is that one partner had misgivings about the union long before he or she walked down the aisle. Whether it is family pressure, an unexpected pregnancy or some other reason, far too many people say "I do" out loud while their heads and hearts say 'I don't!" If you have reservations before you get married, they are not likely to go away after you tie the knot.

Fighting Unfairly - Even though some people claim they never argue with their significant other, it is safe to say that at some point every couple will have a disagreement. So why do some couples seem to bounce back from fights while others just end up with festering emotions? The secret is how they fight. When couples can set ground rules for fights and avoid personal attacks, they can get over the disputes and get back to marital harmony. If they can't, then ongoing resentment and hurt will only build to a breaking point.

You've Lost That Loving Feeling - No, we are not just talking about sex, although that is part of a healthy marriage, of course. Intimacy is about more than that. It is the daily affection that each spouse demonstrates toward the other. Holding hands, terms of endearment, hugs and hello/good-bye kisses are all part of the intimacy package. Without these gestures, spouses often feel like strangers in their own home.

Lack of Intimacy - When intimacy goes out the window, so too does satisfaction with the marriage. This time we are talking about sex as well as non-sexual intimacy. Human beings are hard-wired to require sexual contact. While each person is different in terms of wants and needs, when a couple starts forgoing intimate contact, eventually they drift apart feeling unsatisfied and alone.

Being A Clone Of Your Spouse - It is great if you meet your soul mate and share many interests. However, turning into a clone of your spouse usually leads to dissatisfaction down the road. This dissatisfaction often leads to resentment and eventually a split. Maintaining your own separate interests and activities will keep your mind and heart healthy and satisfied. It will also keep a bit of intrigue and interest going between two people.

Different Interests - Of course, not sharing any interests with your spouse is also a recipe for potential disaster. While you don't need to be identical, having some interests in common allows you to share as a couple. Without this, many couples simply grow apart over time.

People Don't (Usually) Change - Couples often identify small things that annoy them with their partner long before they walk down the aisle. She likes action-packed vacations while he'd rather lounge by the pool reading a book. He wants to save for a house in the suburbs while she prefers renting in the city. He wants kids, she doesn't. Some differences are easy to overcome, while others are not. If there is a deal-breaking difference that is ignored before the wedding, chances are it will only fester and lead to a split down the road.

Looking To Your Spouse For Happiness - While it is nice if your spouse does things to please you, at the end of the day only you are responsible for your own happiness. Expecting your significant other to make you truly happy is usually a futile endeavor that leads to nagging and complaining which leads to a split.

Losing Your Identity - Many married couples make the mistake of falling into role titles and they lose themselves along the way. This is especially true when they have children. Becoming mom or dad often causes couples to focus all their energy on the kids, and lose the intimate connection between husband and wife. Eventually the children grow up and fly the nest and all that is left is two strangers living in the same house.

http://ezinearticles.com/?10-Reasons-People-Get-Divorced&id=9421117

This Is The Main Reason Humans Crave Orgasms

“The pleasure of living and the pleasure of the orgasm are identical. Extreme orgasm anxiety forms the basis of the general fear of life.” ~ Wilhelm Reich

Orgasms have been cherished, misunderstood, feared and indulged throughout the ages.

Let’s first understand the history of orgasms, because the word itself carries with it a promise of fulfillment.

The History of Orgasm

The word orgasm originates from two Greek words: Orgasmos, meaning to grow ripe, swell and be lustful, and Orge meaning impulse.

It also has origins in the Sanskrit word urj – meaning power, nourishment and strength.

Sex and pleasure were once free and equal. Orgasms, with its physical pleasure and consciousness – altering effects, were worshiped in many developing cultures.

As civilizations became more sophisticated about reproduction and, sadly, property rights, orgasms and who gives, receives and enjoys them, became increasingly regulated.

In the West particularly, the female orgasm has been a mystery to the mostly patriarchal power structure.

Furthermore, it was seen as a threat to the advancement of social development.

In the modern age, science has taken a front seat in the understanding and exploration of this most basic of human experience, with mixed results.

While women have made progress toward orgasmic equality, there is still a long way to go.

Today, there is so much research and new information that our understanding of orgasmic possibilities have expanded. We now know that much more is possible.

In reality, both men and women are capable of experiencing many different kinds of orgasms, opening up a sensational range of possibilities for experiencing pleasure.

Why We Crave Orgasms?

We transcend into the ecstatic experience that shakes us to the roots of our being.

Time stops.

Orgasms take us out of ourselves and we become natural.

Our Body armor melts away and everything is lost – the facades, our ego, society, culture; we become part of nature again.

There is no past, no future, only the present moment.

In this short blissful moment of silence, we go into a space that connects us to something greater than who we are.

We connect with the flow of energy, our heart, and soul.

In the bliss of orgasm we get naked in every possible way, and reveal the burning treasures within.

The deeper we melt the deeper we experience creation, manifestation, healing, releasing, regeneration, understanding, connecting, and consciousness. We melt into infinite possibilities.

The ecstatic flow takes us to new places we know but don’t recognize because it connects us to our heart and soul. We may not recognize it because we are, or have become strangers to it.

How do we know when it happens?

Every cell in our body knows.

Our bodies fill with sexual energy, taking us beyond the limits of what we know.

In that moment, a flood of great joy and pleasure wipes out the worries of our regular framed life.

Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual awakening because of the momentary loss of self.

Why is this true?

Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.

“Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand – relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.” ~ Osho

http://collectivelyconscious.net/articles/this-is-the-main-reason-humans-crave-orgasms/

10 Reasons To Have Sex Daily

The joy of the “big O” is not the only reason to have sex daily. Your mental, emotional and physical well-being can be improved with some intimate activity too. The benefits of having sex daily far outweigh any negatives you could think of. But just in case you weren’t already sold on the ideas, here are 10 reasons for you to have sex daily.

10 REASONS TO HAVE SEX DAILY

1. HAVING SEX DAILY CAN HELP YOU LEARN TO HAVE DIFFERENT KINDS OF ORGASMS.

You might already know that men are able to have orgasms both with, and without ejaculation. But did you know that women experience two different kinds of orgasms? Even men are able to have orgasms both with, and without ejaculation. Researchers analyzing female orgasms found two orgasm types which were ‘meaningfully distinguishable in terms of sensations and location’ either centered on the surface of genitalia or deep inside. Deep orgasms were associated with internal sensations consistent with proposed functions of female orgasm.’

Female orgasm has sadly received so little research that even researchers are not sure of the evolutionary function of it. They believe that women climax so that their internal muscular contractions can assist sperm in reaching an egg for fertilization. This may or may not be true, but in the meantime, test your own orgasm to see if you can have both a surface orgasm and a deeper one.

2. HAVING SEX DAILY CAN HELP YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.

An orgasm is hard to achieve while you’re stressed out, but even just beginning to increase intimacy through cuddling gives you oxytocin. Oxytocin is known as the cuddle hormone and it, along with dopamine will help you feel less stress and anxiety immediately. If you read our article 5 Reasons to Cuddle More Everyday, you’d already know that.

3. HAVING SEX DAILY CAN HELP YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH.

Having sex every day sounds like the best way we can think of to get exercise in. Sex helps your physical fitness by strengthening your cardiovascular system as well as your hip, back, leg, abdominal and muscles. Daily sex can also help improve your balance and help you lose weight.

4. HAVING SEX DAILY CAN HELP YOU ADD VARIATIONS TO YOUR LOVE LIFE.

You have not tried every sexual position, marital aid or lubricant out there. There is just so much to choose from. Amazon even has a sexual health market with all the adult toys you could imagine and that you may have never even explored yet. Whether you’re single or partnered, you and your intimate friend can find new ways to have pleasure 365 days of the year and then some.

5. HAVING SEX DAILY CAN HELP YOU WORK UP TO LONGER LOVEMAKING.

Premature ejaculation is a phrase that no one likes. Longer lovemaking means that women, who typically need longer to orgasm through intercourse, will be more likely to achieve it. Practice makes perfect and men can work to control their rhythm and thoughts to prolong orgasm.

6. HAVING SEX DAILY CAN HELP YOU ACHIEVE MULTIPLE ORGASMS.

And then there is the holy grail of orgasm; the multiple. According to The Kinsey Institute, as many as 20% of men can achieve multiple orgasm and 14% of women are capable of the same. Wouldn’t you like to be one of the lucky ones?

7. HAVING SEX DAILY STIMULATES YOUR BRAIN.

Researchers studying the tendency of humans to engage in sex for fun, not just procreation as most animals do, found that sex stimulated more areas of the brain than previously thought. The areas of the brain that were stimulated as seen in brain imaging were ‘specific subdivisions of the hypothalamic area, basal forebrain, thalamus, amygdala, and hippocampus.’

Researchers also compared the sexual pleasure cycle to that of wanting food: ‘Excitement (emotional desire, genital arousal), plateau (physical sexual activity and bodily and genital arousal), orgasm, and refraction are the phases of sexual pleasure that are traditionally distinguished. The sexual pleasure cycle adheres to the basic structure of pleasure cycles related to other rewards (such as food), and can therefore also be expressed in terms of motivation’consummation’satiety or wanting’liking’ inhibition.’

8. HAVING SEX DAILY CAN HELP YOUR IMMUNE HEALTH.

Frequent sex helps you to release more of the immune system ingredient Immunoglobulin A which will help you fight off your next attack of the flu. The more often you engage in sex, the more antigens you build up in your system.

9. HAVING SEX DAILY CAN HELP YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH.

Sex being the intimate act that it is, being close means having a close, emotional connection with someone. Even if you haven’t said ‘I love you’ to your sexual partner, you are building a meaningful bond to another human. Giving the gift of yourself to another for your mutual pleasure can be intense. Read our guide 5 Ways to Develop Emotional Intimacy in Your Relationship for more non-sexual ways to connect.

10. HAVING SEX DAILY CAN HELP YOU STAY YOUNG.

Having sex daily is the best anti-aging solution out there. According to the findings of Dr. David Weeks, who interviewed 3500 people, concluded that ‘Sex is the most intense kind of pleasure and that triggers certain chemicals. In women it produces a human growth hormone which helps the process.’ Regular, loving sex came second to physical and mental activity as the factors most important to retaining youth.

https://www.powerofpositivity.com/10-reasons-to-have-sex-daily/

7 Ways To Connect To Your Sexual Energy

     

We come from sex. Our sexual energy is our life force energy. Open and strong sexual energy contributes toward our vitality, creativity and sense of well-being.

While our sexual desires may be a natural part of who we are, our ability to express our sexuality is often learned. The understanding of and use of our sexual energies is not common knowledge.

These are seven different ways you can connect with your sexual energy:

1. Connect with your core.

Rub your palms together, pull them about one inch apart and feel the energy surging between them. Place your thumbs on your belly button and lay them over your stomach in the shape of a heart. Feel the heat from your palms radiating over your stomach, and breathe. This is the center of your being, and a big part of where your sexual energies lie.

2. Try self-pleasure.

Touch yourself in ways that feel good to you. There are no right answers. You can try long strokes and short caresses, kneading, patting, tickling, tapping. Clockwise. Counterclockwise. Touch yourself in places that feels good to you — from your hair, face, ears, neck, chest, breasts, nipples, genitals, thighs, legs, down to your toes.

3. Vary your touch.

When you touch yourself, increase or decrease the speed, pressure and rhythm of your touch. Use sex toys or props consisting of fabrics, feathers or the like if you wish. Self-pleasure is about pleasing you and no one else — so don't be afraid to try out lots of new things.

4. Experiment with moisture.

This includes use of your own saliva, personal lubricants or oils. Be creative with your senses. You can always use a tissue or wet wipe to clean up, or simply head for the shower.

5. Move!

Movement helps us to reconnect with our bodies. Exercise and dance are fun ways to return to your body that aren't explicitly sexual. Yet moving, sweating and feeling our heart beats connects us with our deepest life force, our sexual energy,

6. Make sounds!

Hum, whistle or sing. Yawn, groan, sigh or shout. Make sounds and feel sound energies vibrating within and out your body. Like movement, sounds are a very elemental way for us to reconnect with our being. 

7. Breathe.

Your breath moves toward your body each time you breathe. Connecting with your sexual energies can be as simple as turning your attention inward and just noticing the way your breath. Now, deepen your breath. The deeper you breathe, the more you feel.

What do you think of these seven ways? Do you have thoughts and ideas about what else could work effectively? Share! With intention and practice, your awareness of your sexual energies will increase, as well as your capacity to have more pleasure in your life.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-16611/7-ways-to-connect-to-your-sexual-energy.html

Lost Interest In Sex? Can't Lose Weight? It Could Be This

Testosterone levels are something we don't think about a lot, but they could have a major effect on your health. As a nutrition and fitness coach, I always keep this in mind when reviewing a client's diet.

Here’s the bad news, guys: Studies have found that testosterone (T) levels decrease about 1 percent every year after age 30, and low T affects 20 to 40 percent of older men.

Women, you aren’t off the hook. Researchers found that lower T levels contribute to depression, osteoporosis, declining libido, and an increase in total body fat mass.

So it should be no surprise that one study found that restoring your T levels to a more normal range could have a wide range of benefits such as improving your sex drive (libido), sexual function, and mood, while also reducing fat body mass and increasing lean body mass. It could also improve your bone-mineral density.

Talk with your doctor if you struggle with low libido, weight-loss resistance, mood swings, and other symptoms that signal low T levels. While some people opt for testosterone replacement therapy if their blood work reveals low levels of testosterone, the good news is that a few simple strategies can help normalize T levels.

Hormones can have a domino effect. When one gets out of balance, others follow. I’m not opposed to hormonal replacement therapy, but you have the power to reset your T levels yourself with these five strategies:

1. Go low-sugar impact.

Sugar keeps your hormone insulin ramped up, storing belly fat, lowering muscle mass, and crashing T levels. Belly fat elevates estrogen levels in men, and low libido and erectile dysfunction often result. One study found that glucose (sugar) significantly reduced total and free testosterone levels in men.Dumping the sweet stuff (including sneaky sugars) could help hit your T-reset button.

2. Get optimal nutrient levels.

One study found that higher zinc levels mean normal T levels. Another found magnesium supplementation increases free and total testosterone values in sedentary men and athletes. Look for these and other nutrients in a professional-quality multivitamin.

3. Burst to raise T.

High-intensity interval training (HIIT) gives you a killer workout in just minutes a day, but the most efficient, effective exercise on the planet can also help to normalize testosterone. One study found that for middle-age men, supplementing with dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) combined with burst training could raise free testosterone levels.

4. Sleep well.

Ever noticed you’re not really feeling frisky when you’re tired and jittery, coasting on your third dark roast? Among its other detrimental effects, studies find sleep-loss reduces testosterone levels in men. Aim for seven to nine hours of quality, uninterrupted sleep every night.

5. Reduce stress.

Chronic stress levels can crash and burn T levels, sinking your libido in the bargain. Among other problems, one study associated increased job stress with decreased T levels in men. Whether you choose massage, yoga,meditation, or deep breathing, find something that helps you de-stress, and prioritize it.

If you’ve struggled with low libido or other low-T signals, did you opt for testosterone replacement therapy? What strategy would you add here to normalize testosterone levels? Share yours below.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-22089/lost-interest-in-sex-cant-lose-weight-it-could-be-this.html

5 Amazing Sex Secrets That Have Stood The Test Of Time

Ayurveda is the art of living in harmony with nature. Dating back to India more than 5,000 years ago, it's considered the “sister science” with yoga and meditation. When pursued together, these practices help us reach our full potential in body, mind, and spirit.

In Ayurveda, sex is considered an essential part of life. It's as important to our relationships as food or sleep is to us individually. In Ayurveda, sex is not merely a physical act — it's the union of two bodies, minds, and souls. It's meant as a loving expression between two willing, monogamous adults.

To help make sex a fulfilling and spiritual experience, here are five tips Ayurveda recommends:

1. Choose the right time of day.

According to Ayurveda, the ideal time for sex is between 10 and 11 p.m. This is a time period when we tend to be more relaxed and can give our partner the undivided attention that he or she deserves. At this time of night, usually at least two hours after eating, food has been thoroughly digested and sleep can come directly after.

2. Don't "misuse" sex.

Ayurveda explains that when sex is satisfying, and practiced over time with one partner, it not only benefits the relationship but also helps the two individuals to stay healthy and vital.

“Unsatisfying” sex, or sex that makes one of the individuals uncomfortable, can have negative effects on both mental and physical health. Ayurveda strictly prohibits “misuse” of sex in any way because it opens up a storm of emotional and psychological issues.

Examples of misuse would be having sex when you're angry, having sex with someone you don’t love, or having sex when either person isn't feeling well or doesn’t want to participate.

3. Know your partner’s dosha.

In Ayurveda there are three types, or doshas: Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. The frequency and type of sex depends on the constitution of each individual. Each has its own qualities, strengths, and challenges. Knowing your own, as well as your partner's, can help strengthen your sex life. 

Kapha types, dominant in the earth and water elements, possess more stamina than others. They indulge in sex less frequently but for longer periods of time. In other words: quality over quantity.

Pitta types, dominant in the fire and water elements, are very passionate people. They like intense sex, and it can be difficult to quench their desire.

Vata types, dominant in the elements of air and space, are inconsistent with their desire. They prefer to mix things up rather than stick to a routine. They like change, as well as happy surprises.

4. Engage the five senses during sex.

The environment, food, music, and lighting all play important parts in developing intimacy, closeness, and comfort. Take time to set the stage, and be mindful of your surroundings and senses.

Kapha types are particularly sensitive to taste and smell, so keep this in mind when you want to get your Kapha going. It’s all about the tongue, and the nose. A wonderful meal, scented candles, or some aromatherapy help to win over a Kapha partner.

Pittas respond most to visual stimulation. Make sure they like what they see. Set the stage with soft lighting, beautiful flowers, or a sexy ensemble.

Vatas respond most to touch and sound. They love to hear sweet words whispered, and feel warm hands on their skin. A warm oily massage and some soft music help get them to focus on the task at hand.

5. Pay attention to the seasons.

Each season has its own type. It's important to know how the qualities of each relate to your sex life.

Kapha time is in the spring. It’s a very flirty, loving, and romantic season.

Pitta time is during the hot months of summer. It's common for people to feel a bit more passionate, or “hot,” when the weather heats up.

Vata season is the cool and dry months of fall and winter. It’s a good time to cuddle, as we need more “warm-up” time to get in the mood.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-22039/5-amazing-sex-secrets-that-have-stood-the-test-of-time.html

7 Things Men Really Really Want In A Relationship

Open any beauty magazine and you'll see article upon article about what women want in relationships and how to get that. But there's rarely a space for men to express their relationship needs. Thanks to MindBodyGreen for creating that space. Here are 7 things that men really want in a relationship.

1. To feel like your hero

We don’t want to be your Clark Kent. We want to be your Superman. We want you to see us as leaping tall buildings in a single bound and catching bullets. We want to carry you in our arms and show you the world. Or at least feel that way. And I know it’s our job to get there, but nothing gives us more strength than a woman who creates a space that makes us feel invincible. If you make us feel invincible, we’ll make you feel like you’re the most beautiful creature on this planet.

2. Acceptance

There’s a new T-shirt trending Los Angeles titled “Love Me Anyways.” They should make them for men. Because we NEED to feel that when we stack the dishes in the dishwasher like a five year-old, say the wrong thing in front of your friends, leave the toilet seat up, get too logical, forget something you’ve said a thousand times, that you love us anyways. Because inside every man is a boy who forgets he’s a man sometimes. And every boy gets into things, not because he’s bad but because he’s got a curious mind and a short attention span.

Unconditional support from our woman is what will snap us out of our boyish behavior and inject us with a desire to be a stronger man. Only when you accept us as we are, who we are, will we want to become someone better.

3. Not to be left in the dark

So many women don’t tell their men how they feel because they don’t want to rock the boat. Or they’re afraid. The truth is when you don’t express yourself, you leave us in the dark. We don’t really know the truth of you. You are prepackaging and presenting parts of your life instead of doing your whole life with us.

Couples grow and get stronger overcoming adversity, not by doing life separately. Know that every time you hold things in, you are building walls inside the sacred space of the relationship. No, we don’t want you to verbally vomit on us. But believe it or not, we really do want to know who you truly are.

4. Blinders sex

There’s sex. Then there’s blinders sex, the kind of sex that gives you blinders, keeps your eyes forward and intentions straight when you’re out in the world. Let’s face it. Men are going to look. They’re like squirrels. They get distracted by shiny things. But there’s a difference between noticing and wanting. Blinders sex gets men to say, “Yeah, she may be pretty but I would never trade in what I have for anything else.”

Blinders sex isn’t just good sex. It’s a unique connection with someone that makes you fantasize about them in the shower, call in sick so you can lie in bed all day making love and eating Oreos. It produces glue that cannot happen with anyone else.

5. The C-word

Communication. Without it, relationships are built on sand. We want you to communicate directly. We don’t get clues. We need things spelled out. And we understand that if you have to spell it out, it’s not the same. You don’t just want us to do the dishes. You want us to want to do the dishes. We get it. OK, then tell us. Explain. Model how you would like us to communicate back.

For many of us, communication is not our specialty. We need some guidance. Generally speaking, men tend to pull from a logical place. Women pull from an emotional place. If you can meet us at logic, we will will match your emotions. Hopefully. But we need you to tell us.

6. Sweat

There’s nothing sexier than working out with your intimate partner. Watching you sweat and work on your body only encourages us to work on ours as well. We get to see the raw and real you, a different type of naked. Now, if we do this together, we’re in the act of building something, a lifestyle. We’re not just talking. We’re doing. And that’s hot.

7. To have our own lives

We may not say it, because how do you tell the person you love to get a life? But we really want you to have your own life. Really. We want you to have your own set of friends, activities, and passions. Of course we want to be supportive of everything you care about and be a part of anything you would like us to be a part of, but we want you to have your own identity.

Because if you have nothing that is yours, our relationship is standing on one leg. Also, if you have your own life, it forces us to get our own life as well or risk losing you. Forget legs. Let’s put our relationship on wheels. One is yours. One is mine. And together, we’ll ride.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-13107/7-things-men-really-really-want-in-a-relationship.html

What Do Meditation And Sex Have In Common?

Orgasms are a result of sensory stimulation that culminates in climactic bliss. It isn't difficult to comprehend why many yearn for such a blissful, albeit fleeting, state.

The goal of any species is to make more copies of itself. From an evolutionary standpoint, orgasm acts as a motivator, a reward, to reproduce. Why? Because physical union is the only means to "spread the seed" for many species. The desire to experience this unique sensation persuades us to reproduce because sex is the gateway to this euphoria. This is why when we are adolescents and young adults, a stage in out life with highest reproductive success, our minds strategically make this sensory gratification such a high priority.

As our reproductive capacity dwindles, so does our instinct to seek out a mate for physical union. While seemingly all animals possess this instinct, there's something special only humans have; the ability to interpret it, not merely experience it.

Now, why is this discussion important to the understanding of our health and well-being? Because understanding the orgasm helps us to understand ourselves. Yes, that is true. Keep reading:

The orgasm carries with it the esteemed connotation of absolute pleasure — it's placed on a pedestal of sexual euphoria. While we like to paint the sensation with graphic undertones of lust, the neurobiology of the climax is far less provocative.

At its core, the orgasm is much less about what it makes us feel than what it allows us NOT to feel. With all of the hype surrounding the sensation, we can't help but wonder: What is it about experiencing an orgasm that keeps us coming back for more?

Pleasure is typified by three things:

An escape from self-awareness: We are liberated from our burdensome egos. The weight of our constant internal criticism is lifted as our self-observer takes a brief hiatus from incessant doubt.

Decreased sense of pain: Relief from pain is an immediate trigger for the sensation of pleasure.

Alteration in bodily perception: Our inhibitions are lowered to the point of bliss. This break from self-scrutiny allows us a passing moment in a heavenly utopia.

The only other time we are able to feel such emancipating ecstasy is during an experience that is seemingly polar opposite to that of orgasm-inducing intercourse — meditation. "Bliss, both sacred and profane, shares the diminution of self-awareness," according to a popular study.

Meditation allows us to experience the trinity of bliss: decreased self-awareness, lowered inhibition, and elimination of pain. The only difference between orgasmic and meditative states is that while sex leads to the physical union of two individuals, meditative processes, like those practiced by Tibetan Buddhist monks, diminish self-awareness by allowing our mind to focus beyond self-identification and shift our focus to the macro universe. Meditation, like the orgasm, allows us to ignore the disruptions of emotion and focus on the experience at hand. In both cases, we are freed from the burden of self-preoccupation.

While the blissful corporal experience resulting from an orgasm has an evolutionary purpose (to make more humanity), the reason behind such a blissful state is due to diminution of self-awareness that can be re-experienced at a mental level by practicing mindful meditation.

Meditation allows us to shift our attention from our ego-driven selves to the world around us. Try to make it a habit to remove the distractions of incessant self-critiquing.

Sacred or profane, the reason behind such a blissful experience is going beyond the confines of self-identification. Expand your awareness. Take time each day to think about the world around you; take a break from always thinking emotionally about yourself.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-10695/what-do-meditation-and-sex-have-in-common.html

How to Stop Thinking About Someone

A fascinating new study on the power of love vs. the allure of sex

You meet someone new and attractive. The eye looks and the mind wanders. Temptation strikes, although you don’t succumb to it in the moment. Nonetheless you find your thoughts keep returning to the encounter, to that attractive person, and to the possibility for romance, sex, or a relationship. When the mind wanders, it often follows a path to love, romance, and sex. If you’re currently unattached, such thoughts can be wonderful. Infatuation is a seductive emotional experience. Who knows where it will lead? 

But if you’re already in a committed and happy relationship, you may not want those thoughts. You may not want to be distracted by a handsome or pretty new face. What can you do to remain focused on, and committed to, your current relationship? 

How can you stop those thoughts about the wrong person? 

Just telling yourself to stop thinking about that person doesn’t help. Daniel Wegner and his colleagues have shown that attempted thought suppression actually has the opposite effect—you end up experiencing more of the thoughts you tried to suppress. In a classic study, Wegner and colleagues asked people to not think about a white bear. Trying to suppress thoughts of white bears, though, just led to more thoughts of white bears—a rebound effect. Thought suppression and rebound effects appear for all types of thoughts, including those about people you find attractive. Trying to suppress such thoughts can even lead that person to appear in your dreams (Wegner, Wenzlaff, & Kozak, 2004; and see my blog on Inception, the Science of Creating Dreams). And trying to not think about sex isn’t very effective, either. Those thoughts not only rebound into awareness but they have physiological effects as well—your palms get sweaty when you try to avoid sex thoughts (Wegner, Shortt, Blake, & Page, 1990).

So here you are: You’ve met someone new, and now you’re thinking about that person, maybe even having daydreams and seeing that person in your dreams at night. The problem: You already have a partner you love and care about. You try to stop thinking about the attractive new person, but thought suppression doesn’t work. 

How do you stop that person from constantly appearing in your thoughts? 

Instead of suppressing your thoughts, try changing their focus instead. The best advice is to actively focus your thoughts in a different direction—but the nature of those alternative thoughts is crucial. Gonzaga and colleagues have investigated various ways to stop thinking about an attractive new person (Gonzaga, Haselton, Smurda, Davies, & Poore, 2008). First they gave people in relationships someone attractive to think about: They presented six pictures of attractive people and asked participants choose the one they thought was most attractive. While looking at that picture, the participants wrote about why the person was attractive and what the perfect first meeting with that person would be like. By using the writing task, the researchers made sure that people were thinking about that person and imagining interacting with him or her. Haven’t we all had similar daydreams? You remember how attractive, charming, and pleasant a new person was. Where would you go?  What would you do together? You imagine going out with that person for the first time. 

Now stop. Stop thinking about that person. 

Of course, we know that telling yourself to stop doesn’t work. It didn’t work in the experiment, either: Some people were simply asked to stop thinking about the attractive person, but the thoughts continued into the next task—more so than if they hadn’t been told to stop the thoughts.

But when they tried instead to change the focus of their thoughts—and, specifically, to think about their current romantic partner—the results were very different. Some participants were asked to think about either the time they felt the most love or the most sexual desire for their current partner. And which was better at stopping thoughts about an attractive other person? Thoughts about love. In other words, love was more powerful than sex. 

Try thinking about a time you felt love—that is, felt close, connected, and bonded to your current romantic partner. In the experiment, thinking of one's current partner in terms of love substantially reduced thoughts of someone else. Thinking of sexual attraction for a current partner wasn’t nearly as effective. 

Gonzaga and colleagues argued that this is the whole point of feeling love. Being in a strong, committed relationship has lots of benefits for people: Love is the emotion that keeps you coming home to the same person every night for years. Thinking of love for one's current partner did more than just drive thoughts of that attractive other person from people's heads. Thinking of love actually diminished the memory of that other person. People who thought of love remembered fewer of the attractive features of that other person than other participants did.

If you want to stop thinking about someone new, if you want to stay committed to your current partner, if you want to diminish your memory for an attractive new person, and if you want to remove the temptation, the approach is simple: Think about your current partner. But the key is to think about a time when you felt love for him or her, because love is the power that can clear the mind, and keep people together. 

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mental-mishaps/201505/how-stop-thinking-about-someone