How to Work With Demotivation (When You Just Don't Want To... )

We all face situations in life we don't like. There are always those projects or tasks that just have to be done that we'd rather not do. There are always going to be times when we have to work with demotivation.

Part of maturity and taking responsibility for our lives is doing the things that need to be done, and doing them well whether or not we're in the mood.

Here are some strategies you can use that may help you to deal with those kinds of activities you'd rather not have to:

1. Get really clear on the project or task you need to complete

2. Completely relax your body from head to toe (take a few minutes to do this), focusing on the point just below your navel. This is known as your lower Dantien, a point of focus, balance and inner strength. Concentrating on this point helps you feel more centred, more solid and more grounded.

3. From this place of focus, fully accept that the project or task needs to be done and that it will be dealt with either by you or someone else.

4. Establish/list what aspects of the task or project put you off

5. Take each hindrance and find a way around it, eg:

· Task is too big (can you make it smaller?)

· I can't do it on my own (can you get help? Who from?)

· It's dirty, grimy (can you view this as a character-building exercise?)

· I don't understand it/don't have the right training (can you get the right training or support?)

· It's too boring (can you find a way to make it more fun?)

6. Create space for the completion of the project or task. Decide when you are going to finish the project/task. Be aware that you may not finish it by the exact end date you put on it, but the fact you now have a timeframe can help to galvanise you and motivate you go get busy.

Establishing timeframes can, however, be a double-edged sword. Whereas a well estimated timeframe can do wonders to get you moving, a badly estimated one can not only add to your general stress levels, but also deflate you if the bigger part of you is convinced you'll never be able to meet it.

The trick is to get good, with practice, at setting timeframes for yourself for whatever you do on a daily basis. How long do you need to prepare dinner? How long do you need to drive to work and back? How quickly can you get this report completed? How long do you expect to take to get the car fixed?

By beginning to put timeframes on the things you do every day, you'll begin to get a better feel for your pace and, more importantly your style of working when demotivation begins to set in. With time, it then becomes easier to gauge just how long important projects and activities will take you and you'll be better able to communicate this to those around you.

If it's not your timeframe but someone else's, aim to complete your task or project before the end of theirs. Essentially you're setting a timeframe within a timeframe. If it is getting close to the end date try your best to finish it by that date. If this really is not possible, ask for a reasonable but definite extension - e.g. an extra seven days, an extra 14 days, an extra hour etc.

Ensure you will definitely complete the activity by the end of that extension period, as requesting a second postponement may begin to cast doubt on your self-belief in your own eyes, and your credibility in the eyes of those around you.

Adopting these strategies when you don't feel like doing something you know needs to be completed, you'll begin to see significant and positive shifts in how you work with demotivation.

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It's Not About You! Avoid This Trick Your Brain Plays on You and Feel Better

I'm sitting on my couch, watching NCIS with my family. In a plot twist, the victim turns out to be the perpetrator in this episode! How dare she! I point my finger at the TV, and exclaim "Bad girl!" Katy, my Wowzer (Westie Schnauzer - think Toto), who is just getting ready to snuggle down next to me, looks at me and starts shaking.

Wait a minute! It's not about you!

I comfort my dog and reassure her she is a good girl. The shaking stops, and she settles down for her nap. Katy (my dog) can let go of hurts pretty quickly!

How often have I overreacted to what someone said to me? How often have I assumed it was about me, when it absolutely wasn't? How often have I tied myself in knots over something that doesn't belong to me? I have to tell you, I am not as quick to let go as Katy is. Luckily, this person can learn new tricks!

There's a name for this type of overreaction - personalization. This is the trick your brain plays on you when you take responsibility for things you have no real control over. It can be the result of a misunderstanding (poor Katy), an effort to be a people pleaser, or even an attempt to be a little manipulative (does anyone out there have a martyr in mind?). Regardless of the reason, it leaves you feeling cruddy. And it's unnecessary. If Katy had only asked, I would have told her it wasn't about her (OK, I did that without her asking).

Personalization increases stress levels by setting you up to think you are responsible for the wrong things. You end up banging your head against a wall with (predictably) no good result. Personalization can lead to anxiety or depression problems. You can release personalization just by pausing to ask yourself, or the other person, if this is actually about you. Then you can learn to concentrate your efforts in areas where you actually have some control. This leads to a greater sense of wellbeing.

What are you taking the blame for that doesn't really belong to you? What could you let go? What could you check out, instead of assuming it's your fault? Who knows, maybe you and I could take after Katy and just relax, instead of working ourselves up over nothing. I wish you reassurance and a good nap!

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Self Affirm And Problem Solve Better Under Stress

How well do you solve problems under stress? We all went through having to prepare for exams sometimes at the last minute. Perhaps you've had to come up with a business proposal on short notice. In general, it is well known that the effects of acute and chronic stress interfere with problem solving requiring flexibility and adaptation. Acute stress can help rote memory, which is probably why so many "crammers" for exams actually did satisfactorily. However, if the task involves more complex problem solving increased stress interferes.

Yet, in the last several years there is new research indicating that self-affirmation can lessen the interfering effects of stress on problem solving. What exactly is an affirmation? According to researchers at Carnegie Mellon University, "self-affirmation is the process of identifying and focusing on your most important values". In my own work, I prefer the definition that an affirmation is a statement that describes your goal in its completed state. For example, if you are trying to lose weight, your self affirmation might be that "I am feeling lean and powerful at my perfect body weight of 170 pounds".

Using self-affirmation can improve your problem solving skills under pressure. The research team at Carnegie-Mellon University found that a brief self affirmation activity helped buffer the negative effects of chronic stress on task performance when stress levels were rated by questionnaire, heart rate, and blood pressure.

But you have to do it right. When working with clients, I start with the following guidelines:

1. Start with the words I am.

2. Use the present tense.

3. State it in the positive. Affirm what you want, not what you don't want.

4. Keep it brief.

5. Make it specific.

6. Include an action word ending with -ing.

7. Include at least one dynamic emotion or feeling word.

8. Make affirmations for yourself, not others.

Then it is important to create the affirmation for yourself using the following guidelines:

1. Visualize what you would like to create. See things just as you would like them to be.

2. Hear the sounds you would hear if you already had achieved your vision.

3. Feel the feeling you want to feel when you created what you want.

4. Describe what you are experiencing in a brief statement, including what you are feeling. Start the sentence with the words "I am so happy and grateful that I now... Make sure it is stated in the present.

5. Edit it as needed.

Self affirmations work best for you when you combine the above guidelines with visualizations of how things will be when your goal is achieved, whether it is a personal or business goal.

When you are under high stress, you will initiate better problem solving by taking a little time to create and/or reflect on a self affirmative statement that is important to you. For example, if faced with a business deadline and you are inclined to feel high levels of stress, create a self affirmation such as "I am happy that I am working well at creating cohesion among my team to complete our sales project".

This strategy is reasonably easy and you can use it before you enter a high pressure situation or start a self improvement project. Give it a try. If you start to do it regularly, you will be surprised at your successes.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Self-Affirm-And-Problem-Solve-Better-Under-Stress&id=9237818

Stress and How to Cope With It

Stress is a normal response to difficult situations. We often confuse it as some form of mental pressure caused due to our own inability to deal with things. But that's not what it is. Stress is not an action, it's a reaction. Stress is our reaction to various external factors.

Before we get to the whole coping part, first we need to understand a few things about stress that are essential.

1. Stress is not always bad

Stress is the body's way of reacting to a challenge. When faced with a tough situation, there are a whole lot of reactions that the body goes through. Increased pulse rate, adrenaline boost, faster response to stimuli and among those, stress is one.

But the same stress that 'stresses us out', also makes us quicker and more prone to handle situations better. Stress makes us do our best. So it isn't always a bad thing.

2. Stress varies from person to person

Some people are inherently calmer and more composed, compared to others. So, their reactions also are different. Stress levels change vastly across different people and are not to be compared at any stage.

If I can deal with a tough situation well that does not make another person's stress or panic a bad thing. It is after all only a reaction.

3. Stress is not always an illness

There are a variety of stress related disorders. But just because a person is prone to stress, does not make them a patient. Stress disorders, like all other disorders are something that cannot be confirmed unless clinically diagnosed.

Thus, stress in daily life is as normal as it can be.

4. Stress always has a trigger

May not be something happening at the moment. Sometimes the trigger of stress goes back in time, that we don't even recall the incident. That is because our mind is an expert at suppressing information that can be distressing. But no stress, ever comes without a trigger.

Stress that is positive or good for us in some way, is called Eustress and the one which makes us all panicky and unable to see straight is Distress.

Modern day MNCs encourage some amount of work stress to ensure that employees push ahead and don't get too comfortable. Although as the position becomes more and more powerful, eustress becomes distress. Let us now look at some stress related disorders.

1. General Stress

This is your old school, before an exam, important day type of stress. It is so normal and so vastly experienced that if you don't experience it, people think you're a bit weird (in a good way of course!).

General stress requires nothing more than a few deep breaths and a cool glass of water. It goes away as fast as it came.

2. Acute Stress

This is in a way, the big brother of general stress. It is not in any way damaging, but it makes you completely frazzled and leaves you exhausted.

This would be the stress people experience when work load is doubled, during year end or when you study for a history test and get the math paper in hand. The situation is overloaded and so the brain becomes irritated and you start sweating and panicking.

Acute stress can also be dealt with the old ways, but the best thing to do is to simply let it pass.

3. Episodic Acute Stress

This is one of the serious types. It's one thing to be stressed out, but something is off when a person gets worked out about almost everything. Even things that is not stressful. So be it their wedding day or their nothing day, there is something they will stress about.

For people with episodic stress, things get out of hand very quickly. Calm becomes chaos in the blink of an eye. They take on more than they can chew and at the moment of truth, they are about to explode.

Episodic stress patients are often studied for crisis management purposes just to get a grasp of how masses will respond to a situation.

4. Chronic Stress

While acute stress can be thrilling and exciting, chronic stress is not. This is the grinding stress that wears people away day after day, year after year. Chronic stress destroys bodies, minds and lives. It wreaks havoc through lives.

If you can imagine what the stress must be in a situation of war, then I assure, you can imagine what chronic stress is like. It requires medical help and proper treatment.

While Chronic Stress needs proper medical attention, the other forms of stress can be dealt with. One can even cultivate a habit to deal with it.

For people whose daily lives involve stress (stock brokers I see you!), these few tricks always come in handy.

Coping with stress

• Always, DEEP BREATHS. Don't argue, simply follow. Breathe deeply and breathe often.

• Water. Drink it slowly and prolong the drink. Don't gulp it all down and expect to be calm. The more time you take, the more time you get to process things.

• Use a stress ball. Those smiley faces aren't a joke. They release tension from your muscles and that helps you relax physically.

• Be patient. Nothing is going to happen sooner than it is meant to, simply because you're about to burst a nerve! Close your eyes and be patient.

• Be prepared, if you can. This is what you need to do before events that are inevitably going to happen (EXAMS). Be prepared well in advance. No stress.

• Count down from 100. With every number down, think like it's one point of stress leaving your body. By the time you hit 0, you'll be back to #1.

• Know you are human. Like seriously! There are limits to what you can and cannot achieve. So stop biting off more than you can chew. Accept only enough work and do it perfectly.

• Have some quiet time alone. Have some beverage (whatever you please) and let the negativity get out on its own.

To end, get this one right up there on your list of best quotes -

"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."

http://ezinearticles.com/?Stress-and-How-to-Cope-With-It&id=9339018

How Stressed Are You? Check Your Unconscious Barometer

What if you had a way to measure your stress levels, with a tool so accurate that you could forecast stormy conditions ahead, and be able to change the course of your life to drift in calmer conditions? That would be empowering, would it not?

Well, this tool exists in all of us. It's your unconscious mind. The essence of who you are. It is your barometer, constantly sending out messages to let you know what you will have to weather in your life.

Most people nowadays say they are stressed. How do they know that? It's all relative really. Stress is the problem presented and how well you are able to deal with it. Therefore the more tools you have at your disposal, the more you are able to tolerate.

Having a flexible body and flexible mind allows you to bend further in strong winds instead of breaking. Knowing how to read your barometer can forecast the weather ahead.

This awareness allows you to be

• Empowered

• Assertive

• Confident

• Calm

• Flexible in mind and body

• More value to yourself and others

• Live in optimal health

HOW TO READ YOUR BAROMETER

The basic signs and symptoms of stress are aches and pains in the body, overweight or underweight, headaches, sciatic pain, digestive, respiratory problems, anxiety.

Just as the weather barometer hanging on your wall gives you accurate readings of what to expect, so you know what to wear, or if you would be wise to take an umbrella with you, the severity of your stress signs allows you to forecast ahead, and control the direction.

We have a range that is acceptable, and outside this range, we need to pay attention. So, let's use weight as an example. Our health can tolerate say plus or minus a few kilograms but any more than this and problems start to show. If you have put on a few kilograms, and know it's time to do something, you can steer yourself back to health easily.

Should you choose to ignore these signs, your unconscious mind increases the symptoms with more weight to alert you. The more you journey into the storm the greater the increase in alarms. Maybe blood pressure, joint pain, diabetes, etc. The point here is, the earlier you can read the signs, the more empowered you are to change course and avoid further complications.

You may think aches and pains in the body are normal due to age, genetics. As we know, they are not normal, they are common, and due more to poor lifestyle choices like sedentary lives and inflexibility. Those aches and pains are messages from your unconscious mind, your barometer telling you that if you do the things to make me more flexible, I'll go away and stop hurting you.

You also have your emotional barometer. We have emotions that we should be experiencing most of the time, being happiness, joy, love, gratitude etc. The more time we spend with these emotions, is our forecast for smooth sailing. When the opposite feelings like anger, hate, jealousy surface, it's time to sit up and take notice. Nobody would put themselves into these states by choice, so know your unconscious barometer is alerting you that what you're doing isn't working, to change course, to avoid worse things.

The common approach in dealing with signs of stress is to run, hoping they will just go away. That's because we don't like them, they make us feel uncomfortable, scared even. When you run toward them and be thankful that you are being given early warning, then they soon become your best friends.

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