Self Sabotage and How to Overcome It (By Gemma Garbett)

Self sabotage is one of the biggest ways that we don't achieve everything that we want from life. Have you ever been at a point in your life where everything is going great and then all of a sudden BANG! you have all of these fearful thoughts about not being good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, etc.

This is the Ego's way of protecting you. The Ego has a pretty amazing role. It's the Ego's job to keep you safe, especially if you are in a life or death situation. However, it also tries to keep you safe from everything. Now I know that a lot of people view the Ego as bad, but I don't. It just has a job to do and gets overactive and takes on all of those fearful comments that we have hidden in the back of our psyche.

Take today for instance, I got up and meditated as usual, I got the kids ready for school. But I couldn't shift this blah feeling. I walked around feeling pretty heavy. A client cancelled, so that added to how I was feeling. But then I had a thought that stopped me in my tracks. What am I doing?! This isn't me!

I've been making some pretty big changes to do with my work lately and allowing myself to become vulnerable and I know that this feeling was my way of sabotaging what I was doing. All morning I've had the thoughts in my head of 'who are you to be doing this work?' 'Who are you to be a medium?' 'Go and get yourself another job.'

So here I was sitting here and I thought 'Right, I have all of these tools, how am I going to use them?'

So the first thing I did, was take out my journal and write out everything that I am grateful for in my life. I then looked at each item one by one and sent love to them. I send love by visualising each item on the list in a big pink bubble, but you should do what works for you.

Secondly, I looked at my why. Why am I making these changes? Is it for me? Is it for others? Is it to help people. I just let the words flow and didn't censor any of them.

Thirdly, I sat in meditation and visualised how I would feel when all of the things that I am hoping for come to pass. I created the feelings that I wanted to feel, the sounds I wanted to hear and I let my intuition guide me. If you are not someone that has meditated before, you can start by concentrating on your breath. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. At this time the Universe (or God, divine spirit, etc) will give you a few more signs or steps and you will go back to that place of certainty.

These steps can help you make subtle changes and keep self sabotage at bay. When you practice them daily you will see big changes in your perceptions and in your daily life.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Self-Sabotage-and-How-to-Overcome-It&id=9564181

How to Stop Self Sabotage Before It Starts

So you realize you are prone to self sabotage, now what? You recognize the pattern of getting almost to your dreams and then at the last moment, BAM! You mess it up! You are not the only one, most of us do the same thing, sometimes for years, even a whole life time.

What is the answer? Accept that it's all in your head. All the beliefs that you use to continuously set yourself up for failure are located between your ears. They are like a computer program that doesn't ask questions about truth or falsehood or right or wrong, they just determine the next action. For the computer that's a good thing as it helps us to use the technology without having to reprogram it over and again. But, for a life, it's not so sweet a deal.

Let's start with a simple exercise to get this straightened out. Take a few moments to close your eyes and breathe deeply. Allow your shoulders to relax. Continue breathing this way for another minute or two. Now go backwards in memory watching a replay of all those times you sabotaged yourself. Time travel back to the first experience of it. How old were you? Where were you? Who was there with you?

Allow yourself to watch as the experience unfolds in your mind. While watching ask yourself, "was it true"? Quite often these patterns of self harm were begun in early childhood with a word from someone important to you tore down your self esteem. Watch closely as the situation unfolds in your memory. Was it TRUE then?

When you come to the place that what started this whole process of making sure you fail wasn't true at the very start, pause and ask yourself, "is it true now"? When you come to the conclusion that not only was it untrue many years ago, but that it's never been true, so it can't be true now, exhale deeply and quickly. Let go of the past and rework it in your imagination.

By revising or recreating the situation the way it "should" have been in order to promote your success and personal sense of well being, you have added a new program. Now practice this new program each day. Confirm that the truth is that you are deserving of success, happiness, joy and health. Affirm that your relationships or supportive and loving.

Begin a journal where you only include these new programs. Write down all the evidence that begins to show up proving to you that this is the truth. You are on the way to accepting your power to create the life you dream of. Stay the course.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Stop-Self-Sabotage-Before-It-Starts&id=9488069

How to Avoid Self Sabotage

 it is very easy to self-sabotage. Statistics prove that internal stress is the key factor in self-sabotage. More important, we sabotage because we focus on negative aspects; we focus on failure. Research shows that individuals have a fear of failure, but too often the real problem is fear of success. Failure is a manifestation of looking at the past. Our success lies in the future. Self-sabotage is really a form of denial. It also brings up the question of what is versus what can be. To avoid sabotage you must respect YOU and you must view the future. You must learn to love yourself.

Are you going to allow the negative self-talk or are you going to build a better future, brick by brick? There are seven vital techniques to avert sabotage.

1. Self-Talk - Terminate the negative self-talk. Negative behavior and talk stimulates depression and anxiety. You must look in the mirror; understand the positive aspects you provide. Create positive speak, avoid negative terminology, and change your body mechanics. Smile at others and smile at yourself.

2. Failure - Simply avoid it. Do the things you hate to do first. Sabotage stems from individuals believing they will fail if they attempt something uncomfortable. Not true. Failure is learning, creativity, and innovation. Some of our famous ancestors failed and created great things. King, Lincoln, Bell, and others believed they failed, only to have their dreams come true. Stop worrying about failure; it is the best education. However, in order to fail you must confront it head on and remove yourself from the comfort zone. Stop procrastinating today!

3. Positive People - Depression and anxiety manifest when we gather with other negative people. Avert disaster by moving away from those that depress you. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill discusses the power of the Mastermind, small groups that share similar desires educating each other. Move away from those that anger you and befriend those that awaken your dreams, incite your desires, and expose your creativity.

4. Passion - Conviction and love is movement. Passion ignites the mind and the soul. Self-sabotage arrives when you work at a job. Life is too short for employment with organizations that treat you as a liability. Moreover, working for something that you abhor makes you remorseful. Find opportunities that ignite your spirit and provide a sense of purpose.

5. Self-Esteem/Confidence - Self-sabotage requires the elimination of limiting beliefs. What is a limiting belief? Limiting beliefs are those things you believe that place limitations on your abilities. Such beliefs are true and others false, but we use them as a brake to deter us from making what appears impossible, possible. For example, many individuals state, "I do not have proper experience—I will not get the job I want." Alternatively, others state "I do not have any luck—I will never meet the decision maker." The level of experience might be true. Your level of experience and skill might hinder certain jobs but if you do not apply, you do not get the job! If you desire luck, try sitting in a gambling hall. Luck does not create opportunities; experience, aggression, and focus get the decision maker.

Our mind creates limitations from things we experience and habits we form. You must reset your internal GPS to determination, then you set you mind to accomplish anything you desire. Don't believe it? Determination ended a bloody Civil War, brought a man to the moon and gave us our first African American president! Confidence begins with a belief in YOU!

6. Pleasure - The easiest method for ending self-sabotage is doing pleasurable things. Misery creates company, but pleasure manifests power. Take the time to do things you love to do: listen to music, read a book, take a walk. Scientists have proved that our mind requires rest. Thinking of negative issues and limiting beliefs creates energy and polarizes our thinking. Conducting pleasurable activities produces endorphins in the brain that relax the mind and decrease our breathing and heart rate.

7. Action - The difference between "fortunate" and insignificant individuals: they take action. Self-sabotage is embodied from habits. Detaching habits takes time: 21 days exactly. If you truly desire change then you must take actionable steps to eliminate your self-sabotage. Set time frames that are reasonable.

Creating a toned and symmetrical body takes time and energy. You cannot go to the gymnasium once and expect a favorable result. Change takes time, effort, and, most important, discomfort. Get out of your comfort zone, indulge in (good) pain, and eradicate self-sabotage forever!

http://goarticles.com/article/How-to-Avoid-Self-Sabotage/1274971/

Too Afraid that You’ll Actually Succeed?

Are you wasting your manifesting energy?

Seriously. Are you visualizing, affirming, focusing, being positive and ecstatic without really planing to act upon it when your manifestation comes to you? If you’re saying: “No, good heavens no, I’ll jump on it as soon as it comes!” – are you completely sure?

Let’s Check

This will only take a moment. Let’s imagine a few situations:

Situation One: Manifesting a Successful Career

A man wants to move up the corporate ladder and to become a senior executive (or something); he believes that he possesses the required skills, he’s smart and ambitious, everything works in his favor. One day, while he waits for his time to come, he meets a vice president of the company he works for on a cocktail party – it turns out that he’s the fiancee of our guy’s cousin.

The two of them start chatting and the vice president gives our guy his business card, telling him to call his office to schedule a meeting to discuss his future in the company. Our guy is ecstatic at first, but as the time passes he starts doubting that the other guy meant what he said. Eventually he forgets all about it.

A few months later they meet again. The vice president, surprised that our guy hasn’t called, informs him that they had a position in the company that our guy would be perfect for, but he thought that he just wasn’t interested and they found someone else.

Situation Two: Manifesting The One

A girl visualizes Mr. Dreamy every evening, she makes room for him in her life, she’s joyful when she thinks of him, she knows he’s on his way.

Then a friend calls her and says that she won two weeks in the Bahamas asking her to come along, but they should go the next day. The girl says “no, thanks, I’was planning to redecorate my apartment this week, too busy.” That is true what she says, she has been planning this for a few months. So she doesn’t go.

Her Mr. Dreamy came to the Bahamas two days later, didn’t meet her, went back home and married someone else. She is still waiting for her manifestation to come.

Could This Be You?

These are typical “what if” situations and they don’t have to reflect the way you’d handle them, but ask yourself if you’d be willing to jump on every opportunity the universe throws your way?

True, there was no reason for the girl in our story to even think that Mr. Dreamy would be in the Bahamas; true, the guy from above has been let down before.

But it’s also true that none of them had nothing to lose if they had tried. These weren’t some everyday opportunities for neither of them, and still they didn’t see that it was how their manifestations were to come to them. Too scared, too lazy, too unable to trust anyone or anything, they both let the opportunities pass.

Now, you could say: “Well, the girl had other plans”. True again. But it wasn’t something that her life depended on, she could have changed them. When you really are a match to what you want, the universe will bring it to you in such a way that everything comes in place – if she had chosen to go to the Bahamas then she wouldn’t be redecorating her apartment alone, or she’d move in with The One and her apartment wouldn’t need redecorating after all.

The guy above, he was just too scared. It was a jump to the unknown that he wasn’t willing to take.

We often get paralyzed by the mere possibility of our dreams coming true that we have no trouble making ourselves believe that it won’t happen, that it’s not worth it or that there’s a price to pay.

Investigate your beliefs. Don’t dismiss anything, jump on every opportunity that feels good, even if it’s just for fun – that’s how you’re supposed to see it!

http://www.thelawofattraction.org/too-afraid-that-youll-actually-succeed/