A Story to Motivate You (By Barbara Cox)

I know a lot of you have a lot of amazing ideas and grand visions for your lives. And, I also know how hard it can be sometimes to make your idea come to life. We start projects, then we get busy, life takes over, and we lose momentum. We tell ourselves, "I'll finish that... when I have time." But will you?

I want to share this story with you of a big (HUGE) project I took on in my own life... a project that seemed so daunting and overwhelming at times... but one that I finished! I offer this to give you a little inspiration to motivate you to cross your finish line!

My Story

I was raised by a divorced single mom. I learned to be hardy and motivated through this experience, putting myself through college and graduate school and eventually buying my own home at age 24. Things were definitely not handed to me on a silver platter.

In 2009, I began looking at multi-unit properties (did I mention how good an investment real estate is?); my family and I sold our house in the suburbs and started looking for property where we could build something that modeled eco-housing, now also being called "green-tech" housing - occasional shared meals, community events with neighbors, shared organic gardening, composting, gray water recycling, community projects and art, and a network of neighborly support.

So, after my family and I sold our house, we still hadn't found a new place to which to move to develop our dream. We ended up finding a property that was very run-down but met our requirements: It has 3 units and a quarter acre of land that was in a thriving, urban, walkable community. I had much work to do to make it livable, but I knew I could do it. Even though the house was still being worked on, we moved into the bedrooms. There was no door on the bathroom. The heater wasn't working. Most days (including weekends) the workers would get going before 7 a.m. The kitchen was torn up.

But at least we weren't in the RV anymore. Since 2010, we have taken the property, and crafted it, rebuilt it, and made it both a home and the center of a thriving and growing community.

We now have a renter who is an awesome community-minded lady in the apartment in the back. We have opened up the RV (which we can fit in our back yard) for guests on weekends. We share meals with neighbors. We have a monthly community dinner and community events. We walk to the amazing Balboa Park, the farmers market, the grocery store, and restaurants. The restaurateurs know us, as does the clerk at the store. We've pared down to one car so we walk more and save the environment. We have made two raised planters for an organic vegetable garden with our neighbors, set up gray water recycling systems, and more.

http://ezinearticles.com/?A-Story-to-Motivate-You&id=9396959

How to Make Your Way Into (Practically) Any Group

Believe it or not, the problem may be you, not them

People complain about perceived cliques all the time. From mom's groups to neighbors in apartment buildings, work teams, or kids' swim teams, a frequent refrain is, "That group is so clique-y" or, "I felt so left out."

Further exploration, however, reveals a basic misunderstanding of the social structure of a situation.

If you are a new person seeking to join an already-established community, whether it be a neighborhood, school, workplace, volunteer group, yoga class, book club, or sports team, it is only natural to feel left out at first. If you enter a situation where others already know each other, remember just that: The others already know each other. This can make it difficult, but it does not mean the members are bad people. They will likely seek out and talk to each other, have inside jokes, and actually be interested in each other and sit next to each other. They have pre-existing relationships, but that does not necessarily mean that they are a clique or that they do not want to meet you.

In fact, it's helpful to know that this is a community that actually builds relationships. Which group would you rather belong to—one in which the members don't really associate with each other, or one in which they have built a sense of cohesion through supportive interactions?

People who already know each other, and who join in conversation together, do not a clique make. There is no doubt, however, that adult "mean girls" exist. In my studies of friendships, I have encountered many stories of deliberate exclusivity, snobbishness, or even social aggression. Yes, certain groups are cliques, just like certain members of many groups are superficial, judgmental, or uninteresting. Often, however, it's nervousness from both parties that make a group's seemingly icy boundaries hard to thaw.

In fact, as has been the case with many people with whom I've worked, the pre-existing idea that some group is a clique is often a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think you won't be accepted into a group, you are less likely to try to strike up a conversation with a person you haven't met, and then you yourself may become the "snob" with the pursed lips standing off in the corner. You will be more unapproachable and reinforce your own belief that everyone else thinks they're too good for you.

I must admit to a certain fascination with the accusation of clique-ness in groups that one has not even attempted to join yet. Let's say there is a gathering of an organization of which you are a brand-new member. What are the already-existing members who already know each other supposed to do, take a vow of silence and not acknowledge or talk to each other while they stare at the entrance to see if someone new is coming, and then immediately bombard that new person with praise and attention?

Veterans of any organization or community should, of course, be on the lookout for newcomers. They should go out of their way to try to make conversation with someone who is alone or looks ill at ease. Those of us who are new a group also have a responsibility, however, to challenge ourselves to approach others and give them a chance. Make eye contact, ask open-ended questions, display welcoming body language, and acknowledge your interest in the conversation through pleasant feedback and nodding. Shyness is not the same as snobbishness, just as established groups of friends aren't necessarily cliques.

If we were all willing to step out of our comfort zones and talk more to people (and put down the safety shield of our smart phone while we're at it) we might discover that it's not really about cliques, but about clicking.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/friendship-20/201506/how-make-your-way-practically-any-group

5 Things Happy People Do Every Day (and You Can, Too)

Money can't buy happiness, unless you spend it the right way.

My research team and I just completed a study to examine the differences in how happy people live their lives compared to people who are unhappy. Because we were interested in several characteristics of happy people, including the relationship between money and happiness, we examined the predictors of happiness from 30 different surveys. These surveys measured people’s spending habits, consumer choices, values, and personality traits.

The results indicated that happy people make 5 little decisions every day that improve their well-being. What are these 5 importance differences between happy and unhappy people, based on our recent consumer behavior studies?

1. Happy people think about the past fondly.
   Perhaps unique among all animals, humans have the capacity to travel backward and forward in time—to use the “specious present” both to relive past life events and to think about the future. Our data shows that happy people appear to relive the ecstasy, but ignoring the agony, of days gone by. When happy people think about their past they focus on their good memories instead of dwelling on the negatives.
   
2. Happy people “catch” the emotions of others.
   Some sensitive people are vulnerable to experiencing others’ emotions—they can “catch” them during joyful (and sorrowful) experiences. Our data shows that when someone smiles warmly at happy people, they smile back and feel warm inside. Therefore, if you pay more attention to the positive emotions of other people, you should be happier.
   
3. Happy people live in a great community.
   A person is happiest when three basic psychological needs are satisfied: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Literally thousands of studies demonstrate the positive effect of psychological need satisfaction on happiness. Our data shows that these psychological needs can be met by one’s community. Happy people say that they feel belongingness where they live and that they look forward to coming home when they have been away.
   
4. Happy people manage their money well.
   Something that any of us can do every day is to make a budget and track our financial transactions so we don’t make impulsive purchases. Research suggests that individuals will manage their money better when they have a clear goal—for example, paying off a credit card, saving for a comfortable retirement, or starting an emergency fund. Our data shows that if you manage your money better today, you will be happier tomorrow.
   
5. Happy people spend their money on life experiences instead of material items.
   Almost 10 years of research has investigated the effects of investing money in life experiences, as opposed to material items. There is now robust evidence that when people spend their money on life experiences they are happier than when they spend on material goods. However, our data further shows that people who habitually spend their money on life experiences are happier than people who tend to buy material items.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cant-buy-happiness/201301/5-things-happy-people-do-every-day-and-you-can-too