A Path to the Self - Three Ways to Claim Your Personal Power

The true purpose of power is to transform yourself and your world. A sense of empowerment renews your life purpose. Shame is the demon. It takes away your joy. The healing process involves letting go of shame that who you are and what you do is not good enough.

As a society, we have been raised into obedience and trained for cooperation. We think of power as "power over," based on struggle and opposition. We have lost the sense of our own divine nature and personal power. To change our concept of power, we need to move away from struggle and toward transformation. We must move toward a power that inspires and strengthens us without diminishing others.

Accept yourself as a unique individual and take responsibility for your life.

Before you can engage with the world, you must have a clear sense of yourself as a separate individual. You are willing to be unique and risk disapproval for the integrity of your own truth. To claim your personal power, you must first be your true self. By blaming others you remain passive and irresponsible. Personal autonomy requires that you let go of blame and accept responsibility for your life.

You cannot create change in yourself and the world unless you accept yourself for who you really are. Otherwise you remain trapped in the expectations that society and others have for you. To be a unique individual you must overcome unconscious habits that define you. You must take responsibility for your life and truly claim your personal power. In the process of becoming your own person, you allow the unfolding of your unique journey on Earth.

Look within to know what you really want and need.

Determining the course of your life requires a strong will. You must pay conscious attention to your desires and their expression in the world. The desires of your heart provide fuel for your will. They give it strength and direction. You act with clear intention and not only from whim. You move steadily toward your future and make choices that honor who you really are. You align with your true Self and release your personal power.

During quiet time alone you make contact with your true Self. You discover the longings of your heart. You know your deepest thoughts and feelings. In the midst of life's busyness, quiet time alone may seem an impossible goal. But solitude is not a luxury. It is essential for your well-being. You pay an enormous price for ignoring your inner needs. Desires come from deep within. By following them you access the power of your inner Genius.

Use your mistakes to grow and develop a sense of personal power.

To be thankful for the gift of each new day requires self-esteem. You are willing to meet daily challenges with a sense of trust in yourself. You face life's uncertainties and accept that mistakes will happen along the way. You learn that it is not the mistake but how you respond that matters. Mistakes help you grow in confidence and develop your sense of personal power.

As your power grows, you are able to change and transform yourself. Power exists to help you become who you really are. It is a process not a thing. It allows you to escape the narrow limitations you place on yourself. You transition from past to future. Power expresses the presence of the divine within you. As your power grows, you find your own unique path and create a joyful life experience.

Having a healthy sense of power allows you to approach life with vitality, joy and confidence. You choose a plan of action and move forward to accomplish your goals. Each moment is full of possibilities until you make a choice. Having a life vision guides you in making wise choices. It serves as a catalyst for change. It helps you stay focused on what matters the most to you. You become the powerful creator of a happier, more purposeful life.

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How to Stand Up for Yourself

We are faced with tough choices every single day. Sometimes, the hardest choice is to speak up and stand up for what is right. We all know that we shouldn't let people walk all over us, but how do we actually keep that from happening?

Maybe you weren't raised to speak up. Maybe you are too timid, or nice. Whatever the reason is, it doesn't matter. The following 10 steps will help you say what you need to say AND help others understand where you are coming from with minimum conflict.

Pick your battles wisely

You must choose the situations that negatively impact you the most. If you try these steps EVERY single time you have a problem, you may not be as effective. So, strategically pick your battles. Maybe choose ONE instance per person that is over the top wrong or offensive. How do you pick that ONE instance?

Listen to that little voice inside your head

Your intuition tells you whether a situation is right or wrong. Many times we don't act on it because we want to avoid conflict or confrontation. We will convince ourselves that it's not that serious or we doubt our judgment. If the voice inside your head is so loud, that it's affecting your well-being... THAT's your queue to do something about it.

Don't second guess yourself

It is very scary THINKING about saying something to correct the situation, which makes it almost impossible to work up the courage to SAY something. To avoid the discomfort, we tell ourselves that we are overreacting or flat out think we're not worthy enough to put someone in their place.

I mean who are you anyway? You don't hold the position of power, you aren't the bread winner, you aren't as old, you aren't as smart, your opinion doesn't matter...

WRONG. Your social status has no bearing on your needs as a human being. Your opinion matters and your feelings matter.

What. You. Want. Matters.

Why should anyone else's feelings be more important than your own? They are just as much of a person as you. Everyone has different needs and values in life. It is your responsibility to make it clear what you are not willing to tolerate.

If you can't muster the confidence to stand up for yourself, you really have no right to be upset. Like I said, other people have different values and priorities. They aren't mind readers. You have to SAY something in order to be heard and understood.

Look them in the eye

When the time comes to stand up for yourself, you MUST make eye contact. It is THE MOST important thing when you are dealing with confrontation or conflict. Eye contact will show the other person that you have confidence. It will make it clear that what you are saying is important and force the other person to listen to you.

You may find that they will look away, because they too don't like confrontation. If that is the case, you have the upper hand in the conversation. Own it.

Use your big boy/girl voice

I am NOT telling you to yell. I am saying, project your voice loud enough that the person can hear what you are saying. Do not mumble. Be clear and concise. Your voice should captivate your audience because what you're saying is important for them to hear.

Keep emotion out of it (stick with the facts)

In order to keep the conversation from going south, you MUST state factual information only. Avoid using emotion behind what you are saying.

Crying distracts from the message. Yelling distracts from the message. Condescending remarks distract from the message. Sarcasm distracts from the message... you get the picture.

All of the above EMOTIONAL responses cause people to put their guard up or not take you seriously. They will focus on defense more than the message itself. The whole point of you speaking up is to be HEARD. So try your best to remain calm and speak clearly and concisely with the FACTS.

Keep it simple

Try to dumb down your message as much as possible. The more words you use, the more complicated things get. It also increases the chances of the conversation to crash and burn. Try to make it one sentence.

WHEN YOU DID THIS, IT CAUSED THIS/IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE THIS. Simple.

Stand your ground

The person you are confronting may get defensive. They may try to intimidate you. You MUST remember that what you are saying is IMPORTANT. Do not allow them to sway your opinion on the matter. The fact is that when they did something, it had a negative effect on you. They need to be aware of that, no matter the reasons behind it.

Remain confident

Don't second guess yourself. No matter how mean or belittling they get. They may try to outsmart you. Keep that eye contact and stand tall. YOU MATTER! YOU ARE STRONG! Let them get all bent out of shape. The purpose of you bringing it up was so that it doesn't happen again.

It doesn't matter if they get mad or embarrassed. You said what you needed to say. You remained calm, confident and mature. People don't know how to deal with conflict so they react in weird ways. You did your part by bringing up the problem. Next time they will think twice about doing it again. With that, you win.

Move on/Don't hold a grudge

I told you, people aren't mind readers. When you addressed the issue, it could have caused a rift in your relationship because they never heard that side of you before and they don't know how to act around you anymore... and that's okay! It means that you CHANGED your situation. You stood up for yourself.

I guarantee you, people will have a lot more respect for you... including the person you had the issue with.

When you stand up for yourself, you are fostering an environment for others to stand up as well. You will pave the way and potentially better the surroundings for everyone.

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Message From the Universe: Quality Over Quantity!

"You really don't have to try so hard.

That's why there's magic and miracles.

Remember?

Tallyho, 

The Universe"

When growing up, my parents told me that if you work long hours at work, your chances of success are greater. That was maybe true then, in the 80's or 90's but today, working smarter is what creates more efficiency and chance of success grows exponentially. With the tools we have, such as social media, tablets, laptops, and other technologies available at our fingertips, it helps us save a tremendous amount of time to complete the same task if we didn't have these tools. More technologically advanced we are, less time we take to complete the work that would have taken us double the amount of time. In retrospect, the end result is working less but accomplishing more. Because of this, more companies are adopting the telecommuting option for their staff so they no longer need to spend hours in traffic to arrive at the office in the morning and spend another hour to get back home. By telecommuting, employees feel like they are gaining more time outside of traffic and put it back into work and accomplish a lot more.

I can predict that many organizations will use this approach and allow their staff to work from wherever they want, as long as they meet their quotas of production. This option will also allow companies not to need so much working space, which will reduce cost of monthly rent and utilities. When more and more employees will telecommute, we can predict most commercial rentals split their expenses by combining more than one company utilizing the same space and save money. It is already happening but more and more businesses will be inclined to using this approach in the years to come. More leniency employers give to employees, more productive they (employees) will be.

So when it all comes to your goals and dreams, less you make your success a priority, more you will succeed reaching it. Focus on helping others make it first and the rest will come. Less you think of wealth, quicker it will come. Start working on yourself, on your well-being, on your health and I can promise you that everything else you've dreamed about getting in your life will unravel in front of you. Keep faith!

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