Just Get Over Yourself

                      

Here they are again! Our self limiting beliefs. For some reason, they show up every day. Even though we made pretty clear, we've been there, done that (too many times) and are ready to move on to the next stage of evolution.

Why is there still this voice inside, whispering how small we are, how insignificant, how ridiculous.

The provocative statement is ruling our life: 'Why would we think we can, if the truth is we can't?'

We might stop right here. How about rewriting our truth? How about creating a new mantra?

Empowering instead of defeating. 

Comforting instead of depressing. 

Valuable instead of unworthy.

Let's unplug from the old belief system and set a new daily intention: 

We can because we think we can!

"You were never created to live depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed or unworthy. You were created to be victorious."

Don't let your own expectations hold you back. We've been told to dream big. But sometimes we just THINK way to big and get overwhelmed before we even start. We overestimate what we should be doing in the beginning and underestimate the power which resides within each of us.

We compare ourselves with the shining stars out there. We put them up on a pedestal and don't look close enough. Otherwise we might discover, that every shining star started out very small. They all failed at some point in their lives. They just didn't care. They didn't care about other opinions. They didn't care getting ridiculed from naysayers. They didn't care about the negative head shakers, telling them they should give up and go home. Or even better, not to start at all.

What I love about life is the simplicity of it. 

Following just simple rules can have a huge impact on our evolutionary process. 

The importance is, WE NEED TO FOLLOW THESE RULES. 

We need to commit and show up. We need to get started.

"Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure." George Edward Woodberry

Life is short. Too short to sit and wait. Too short to keep playing small. 

Let's start traveling lighter and empty our pockets filled with pity.

If we feel we don't belong, we wouldn't be here. 

If we feel we are not important, we wouldn't be here.

Instead, just get over yourself in a loving way and show up. The world is not watching you at every given moment. If you fail, nobody might care, because we are all focused on our own concerns. If you succeed, the world might applaud you for your courage. Your courage to show up and do it anyways.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Just-Get-Over-Yourself&id=9617790

Positive Affirmations to Use When You Are Feeling Lazy

Has anyone told you you are lazy? Perhaps you've told yourself that many times. You can use positive affirmations to move yourself past your reluctance or inability to take action. But first, let's look at what might be behind the supposedly laziness.

How Fear Impedes Action

Most people others call lazy actually have deep-seated fears. Some of the most common ones are fear of:

• responsibility
• failure
• success (which often is related to responsibility)
• being different
• being separated from friends and family

Any fear you have is based upon the belief that what you are contemplating doing is unsafe. You acquired these beliefs when you were very young. Almost all of them originated before you were the age of five.

How Not Knowing Impedes Action

Many people appear to have a lack of ambition simply because they don't know what they would like to do with their life. They haven't found their passion yet. They haven't discovered what it is that will motivate them to do something more than they are doing now.

If someone appears to be a dedicated couch potato, you can be sure that if there is a fire they will get moving. Having passion calls for having an activity which ignites the fire within to find a goal and follow through with it.

Usually fear of making the wrong choice interferes with discovering something the person is passionate about. Those who have always been excited about something in life or who have always known what they wanted to do when they were adults have a difficult time understanding anyone who can't find themselves.

How Affirmations Help

People who appear lazy often repeat the same statements, "I don't want to," "I can't," "I'm not interested," or other self-limiting beliefs. Each time a limiting belief is repeated, it reinforces the limitation. When you use positive affirmations, positive statements, you are counteracting the limiting belief. You are also beginning to construct a new pathway in your brain which will open you to different possibilities.

Suggestions to Move You Forward

If you want to change, you have to take action. This begins by changing the messages you give yourself.

Change the "I can't" to "I can." Follow that up with doing something different that you know you can do. It can be as simple as walking around the block.

You might want to replace "I don't want to" with "I want to find out what I enjoy." Follow that with the action of listing three things you enjoy doing. Then repeat to yourself, "I am discovering what I truly want to do with my life."

If the difficulty is that you are afraid, take a deep breath, hold it for a count of four, and then exhale as much as you can. Follow that with the positive affirmation, "I have the necessary courage to overcome my fears."

Jumped Starting the Subconscious

Every time you use a positive statement rather than a limiting one, you are opening your subconscious mind to a different possibility in life. When you use limiting words, your subconscious mind wants to support those words. When you use words opening you to possibility, your subconscious mind wants to support you in that area.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Positive-Affirmations-to-Use-When-You-Are-Feeling-Lazy&id=8306934

Top 4 Tips To Make Your Affirmations Awesome

Affirmations can be a great way to take back control of your life. They help restructuring your thought process in ways that make things happen. But, they need to be used in the right way or else you could be wasting your efforts.

Below are the top 4 tips on how to create the right affirmations so they work in your favor.

#1 Stay in the Present

People tend to think in terms of the future when trying to make something out of their lives. For instance, they may say, "I am going to get a promotion someday." While this is certainly better than using negative language, if you switch your focus to the present rather than the future, you will find you get better results.

So instead of saying someday, somewhere, sometime you will get certain things, you should say things like I am doing whatever it takes to create [this outcome or that result] by taking [this action or that behavior].

Do not focus on the outcomes in the future, focus on performing the next necessary action today so you make real progress.

#2 Make Affirmations Part of Your Routine

Our brain has been programmed with certain beliefs and habits. Making changes can be difficult especially as we get older. There is some truth in the saying that "you can't teach an old dog new tricks."

However, regardless of age or other self-limiting beliefs, everyone can reprogram their brains if they do it consistent enough. Affirmations will help only if you are willing to take the time, energy and effort to make them a part of your daily routine.

#3 Seek Out Support

Find others who have successfully implemented affirmations to get what they wanted. You could look online for blogs or forums, or you could even advertise in your local area.

Another option is to create a group on Meetup.com for your local area. Search for ones that may already be available or create your own and see what kinds of responses you get. Between the internet and local groups, you should be able to find like-minded individuals who are happy to share their experiences and assist you in your own journey.

#4 Read More About the Subject

There are many resources on the subject of affirmations and personal development. This can be a double-edged sword because not all of the information are created equal and there are tons of irrelevant nonsense in the marketplace.

However, as you become more proficient on the subject, you will find it easier to filter out the noise. There are several books available on Amazon for this topic. You can also participate in some great learning courses on Udemy.

It will take a bit of research but there are programs with great ratings that you may want to engage with. As time change, be sure to search online and offline for updated resources as well.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Top-4-Tips-To-Make-Your-Affirmations-Awesome&id=9556910

Letting Go Of Self-Limiting Beliefs - Things Will Be Okay

Self-limiting beliefs are the untruths many of us use to give us direction in life. Until you begin changing core beliefs, finding happiness and being successful certainly will be limited.

Belief may release you from self-imprisonment, like the belief from the heart you are protected by your true free will.

The Course in Miracles teaches us that, "It's the plan of the Universe."

In previous articles I told you about my feeling of being trapped and how to escape the darkness I was in while waiting to be arrested for felony charges.

It was over a foolish securities violation, a line I crossed in my practice as a financial advisor of 25 years. I 'd be sentenced to a 10 year prison term.

How to Just Let Go

After sitting there a while, watching the sun reflect on the water, I realized that I had been my own prisoner and that I needed to changing core beliefs that were self-limiting.

I saw that changing core beliefs was necessary, because it was as though I had believed all along I was sentenced to my body, as if it were a prison cell.

The only thing that had bound me was my self-limiting beliefs that the prison door was locked, and that a frightening guard was stationed there, making sure I didn't rise up and leave-- and that I must remain this way until I died.

I thought to myself, Man, all I need to do is begin changing core beliefs in these things, and the door swings open.

I have never really been under guard and bound at all.

I couldn't believe that all my life I 'd been allowing my body to be a self-imposed limitation that kept me from who I am truly meant to be-- more so, who I need to be.

Before I opened the door to go inside the house, I looked back over my shoulder for another glance at the beautiful lake.

By changing core beliefs things and events were going to happen that simply had to be, but you will be OK, the voice within assured me.

I went into the house, put on some clothes, made a pot of coffee, and sat for a few minutes while contemplating changing core beliefs, and then decided to take a walk around the lake.

I admired the gracefulness of the deer as they leaped into the wooded acreage adjacent to the lake.

I believe because I decided to begin changing core beliefs I found this awe of nature to be an excitement on that particular morning, I guess because of my lifelong fondness for these creations of God.

Now about forty or fifty yards or so from my house, I noticed a county sheriff squad car sitting at the end of my driveway.

He gently and politely handcuffed me, guided me into the back seat. This was the last time I would ever see my home on the lake.

To letting go of false beliefs!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Letting-Go-Of-Self-Limiting-Beliefs---Things-Will-Be-Okay&id=9811302

This Is How To Let Go Of Being Attached To Situations In Life

"I have no idea of what tomorrow will bring, so I wish to prepare for it."

"You fear tomorrow - not realizing that yesterday is just as dangerous."

The delightful short tale by Anthony de Mello underscores the fact that our attachments to the past can be equally harmful.

We must release our hold of yesterday's concerns and bring our awareness to the present moment, if we desire to seek contentment.

It's a given that most people want to experience happiness and joy. There are many ways to achieve it and while some attain it, others don't. However, it is no less a central desire to seek fulfillment in our everyday life.

We want happiness to fill the cup when pain overflows. Yet the irony is we experience more pain and suffering than joy allows.

We attach our desires to people and situations, holding on tighter than we should. We stress about matters that impose upon our happiness and become discouraged.

Things don't always go as planned. People let us down. The road ahead gets bumpy.

Buddhist author Lama Surya Das writes in The Big Questions: How to Find Your Own Answers to Life's Essential Mysteries: "As Mark Twain said, 'It's not what we don't know that gets us in trouble, but what we are sure we know'. We attach to one or more particular ways of seeing ourselves that, neither accurate nor helpful, entrap us in mind-forged manacles, self-limiting beliefs, and unfulfilling, misdirected behavior patterns and desires. We fall into living as we are not and lose who and what we actually are."

The Art of Detachment

Detachment means to disassociate yourself from intended outcomes. It requires letting go of fixed ideas how life should be.

If you commit yourself to getting what you want, you set yourself up for pain.

For example, if you base your day on your partner's mood or getting the next promotion at work, you allow outward conditions to dictate your feelings. You are trying to control your world instead of trusting the process of life.

"Normally we think we see reality, but what we see is our own subjective perceptions, filtered through all of our associations and desires, as well as through language and conditioning," states author Ezra Bayda in The Authentic Life: Zen Wisdom for Living Free from Complacency and Fear.

Let Go of Attachments

This requires practice, though it is possible to let go of attachments that no longer serve you.

You might ruminate on the past and hold on to things that don't matter anymore. What if you were to enjoy the richness of the present moment instead?

Make it a point to let go of anything that's not for your highest good, especially expectations.

Do you often worry about the future?

Do you base your feelings on whether you are moving forward in life?

Either way, make it a priority to let go of attachments by cherishing the depth of each moment. Move beyond your negative thoughts and allow life to be exactly as it is.

Letting go is grounded in the wakefulness of the present moment being perfect as it is. Whilst you expect things to be a certain way, detachment means to let go of these thoughts.

"When we see through our attachments by fully experiencing them, the result is freedom. When we can see and experience life without the filters of our judgments and demands, the result is appreciation and the quiet joy of being. When we see through our fears, the result is love," states Ezra Bayda.

Let Go of Expectations

Expectations set you up for disappointment. Whilst it's normal to receive respect and love from others, sometimes people don't return the respect or love you deserve. Happiness means acknowledging this, so you avoid hanging your hopes on people fulfilling your emotional needs.

If we are attached to life being a particular way, we are assured of being hurt when things do not follow as expected.

The solution, you ask?

Let go.

Consider psychotherapist David Richo's view in The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them: "We cannot take refuge in feeling good, because that cannot be sustained. What is sustained and sustaining is a yes to what is, 'taking the good with the bad'. This can only happen when we have no attachment to how things should be."

Let Go of Outcomes

Do you want to work toward your goals and dreams while letting go of outcomes?

Focus on pursuing what is meaningful and give it your undivided attention. People pursue what they consider will make them happy, yet remain miserable now.

To work towards a prosperous future, flow with the currents of life instead of being on a roller coaster ride of ups and downs.

Steady is the way.

Author Jan Frazier offers the following wisdom in The Freedom of Being: At Ease with What Is: "When you are free, you no longer experience attachment - to the roles you play, to possessions, to ideas, to the outcome of action, to the people you love. You are free of ferocious desire, of the driving 'need' to get (and keep) what you want."

Fulfillment Comes From Within

As much as we want to believe that success and happiness happen 'out there' - it simply isn't true.

Happiness and fulfillment emerge from within.

Ask those who are content what their secret is and many will tell you, they learned to simplify life and let go of attachments.

They loosened their grip and allowed life to serve them. They are grateful for the pleasant and unpleasant moments because both experiences contain the seeds of opportunity for growth.

They are unattached to how life should develop and trust every experience serves their highest good.

Think back to a time you released your attachments to something.

Maybe it was resentment or holding on to a particular point of view. As you let go, you no doubt felt relief and moved on.

That is the significance of letting go. You let go to move forward, instead of dragging the past behind with you.

"When you are unattached, you have inner freedom. You have no investment in a particular outcome, and so you do what is necessary in the moment. You explore every option and are receptive to all new information. You do all that you know to do, and then trust, because you have no attachment to either the result or how the result is produced," affirms authors Charlene Belitz and Meg Lundstrom in The Power of Flow: Practical Ways to Transform Your Life with Meaningful Coincidence.

So, release your hold on tomorrow. Do not blemish the present moment with your attachments of how it should be.

If you are anxious about a particular matter, simply let it go. Drop it as though I were handing you a hot piece of coal.

Keep letting go until you get to a place of nothingness and have released all attachments and suffering.

Only then will you know true peace and joy in its entirety.

http://ezinearticles.com/?This-Is-How-To-Let-Go-Of-Being-Attached-To-Situations-In-Life&id=9711468

Doubtbusters: Erase Self-Limiting Beliefs

Learn how to break out of your can’t-do mindset to achieve big goals.

Let’s say your child comes to you and explains that he or she wants to run for class president. Would you look your little pride and joy in the eyes and say, “Don’t bother. You’re not that popular, and there are some really cool kids going for that job. There’s no chance you’ll win”?

Of course you wouldn’t say that. You’d muster endless enthusiasm and prepare for a heated campaign—maybe head to the bookstore and buy Sun Tzu’s The Art of War. “Let’s make it happen,” you’d say. “We’ll create the best campaign slogan, design the coolest posters and start shaking hands.”

Here’s the problem: Somehow between childhood and adulthood, many of us quash our natural inclinations to dream and do big. Tiger kids become scaredy-cat adults, hampered by self-limiting beliefs that flatten our self-esteem, hurt productivity and dampen success.

“When you think about all the struggles we go through in life, most of it comes from our self-limiting beliefs,” says Arizona-based entrepreneur mentor Ali Brown. “When we’re stuck, it’s not because we are held back by someone else.” Brown suffered from that mentality for years, thinking she wasn’t good enough to work for herself. Then in the late 1990s she met a freelancer for the company where she worked full  time.

“He was nice, but not too smart, and made a great living working for himself,” Brown recalls. “I thought, Wow, I think I can do this.” She went out on her own a few months later. Today she surrounds herself with “positive people who do great things. They make me realize what I am capable of.”

When you replace negative limits in your beliefs about yourself with positive images that focus on your potential, “your success increases exponentially,” Brown  says.

For a moment, suspend any glass-half-full tendencies and be honest with yourself, even if memories like Brown’s make you cringe because they’re all too familiar.

Answer yes or no to these scenarios. Have you ever:

•

Sat silently in a meeting, afraid of sounding dumb if you shared an idea?

• Allowed others to decide for you because you doubted yourself?

• Shied away from an opportunity because you questioned your ability?

• Been cynical, jealous or angry about other people’s successes?

• Wondered privately whether you’ll ever amount to anything significant?

If you answered “yes” to at least three of those five common situations, you’re a self-doubter.

You have plenty of company.

“Self-limiting beliefs are everywhere and a part of all of us, to greater or lesser degree,” says Bruce Frankel, author of What Should I Do With the Rest of My Life? “The keys to overcoming many of these are recognizing them, understanding how we got them, and then banishing them through sustained activity.”

Put another way: Eliminating self-limiting beliefs is entirely doable.

A first step in moving forward is to recognize that you need to get out of your own way to get ahead. Warning signs of self-doubt include a tendency to answer “yes, but…” when questioned about goals or progress, says Frankel.

“How come your business isn’t up and running by now?”

“Well, it would have been, but…”

The second step is to know that many self-doubters aren’t even aware that they are their own enemies—they constantly seek permission or approval before moving forward. If you’re perpetually working toward another “qualification, certification, designation or degree,” odds are you’re stalling and need to have a frank talk with yourself, according to Brown.

In order to conquer self-limiting beliefs, taking action is key. “Motion beats meditation,” Brown says. Positive quotes and inspiring refrigerator magnets will only go so far. You won’t move forward until you move to get out of your own way.

Let’s look at four common self-limiting beliefs and the action steps you can use to bust through them, starting today.

No. 1: I’m not good enough to charge a decent fee for my services.

Jackie Awve of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., was confident about leaving her cushy corporate job to open her own marketing firm: She had the right contacts, a perfect skill set and an exceptional local reputation. But what she found daunting was the specter of asking fees that would give her a standard of living commensurate with her old corporate  salary.

“I was worried that going out on my own wouldn’t be stable enough, that I wouldn’t be able to do it,” the 44-year-old mom says. “There was no safety net, and I was afraid of the freefall. It was like standing on a cliff about to jump into water or jumping from a plane—I thought, I don’t know if I can do it. I panicked.”

Doubtbuster: Jenn Lee, an Orlando, Fla.-based business coach, advised Awve to nail down specifics, like how many clients and projects it’d take to replace or exceed her old salary. Next was determining how to price her service “so that it fits what the market will bear and feed her,” Lee explains. “Once you know your numbers, the rest is in building and delivering the brand to meet what you’ve promised.”

In the first year of business, Awve beat her old salary. Having an overall goal of success helped, she says, but taking specific steps to make money paid off. “If you focus on the actions, it’s not as overwhelming,” Awve says. “You realize you are in fact good enough, and other people will recognize it,  too.”

No. 2: I’m not worthy of being in this space.

For years Cathi Nelson of West Hartford, Conn., was too intimidated to leave a sales job and start her own company. She sensed that business owners belonged to an exclusive club that they were born into—a club that she had not been asked to join.

“I was intimidated,” she says. “I kept asking myself, Do I deserve to be really successful?”

Doubtbuster: Nelson says she overcame her fear by just “showing up” to local chamber of commerce meetings, networking group get-togethers and a three-month small-business class. She set one goal per day and concentrated on doing that one thing well, which “helped when I felt overwhelmed by all I didn’t know.” She picked up the phone and reached out to people she admired to ask for help.

In time she founded a photo archiving company, PhotoSimplified, and the Association of Personal Photo Organizers. An early victory was being accepted to speak at a photography conference in Las Vegas. “I  spent most of my time in my hotel room, insecure and wondering if I belonged,” she says, after a disappointing five people came to hear her talk.

But to her surprise, when she reapplied to speak at the same conference the next year, she was booked and more than 75 people attended her session. One year made all the difference. “I now believe I belong in the room,” Nelson, 54, says. “What matters are mutual respect and a willingness to share and learn.”

No. 3: I’m not as good as they are.

Many of us are taught to measure ourselves against celebrated individuals and the accomplishments of others—“not on what we are discovering and doing,” Frankel says. “As a result we lose out on the reward of experience by worrying about measuring up to someone else.”

Doubtbuster: Jealousy and anger about what others do or accomplish are good indicators of someone stunted by self-limiting beliefs, Frankel says.

To fight the “I’m-not-as-good-as” syndrome, Frankel suggests mapping out a plan and celebrating baby steps and milestones: “Create the habit of doing, of advancing.”

Frankel says it also helps to live in the moment, putting aside your ultimate goal to simply focus on the nuts and bolts of your progress. Finally, enjoy the ride by finding people with similar interests. “See yourself doing the thing you want,” he says (check out the quote below for the best advice for visualizing your success).

No. 4: I’m afraid of success.

This is a fear that I often hear when speaking to large sales teams. A salesman will stand up and say he’s “terrified of success” because he has watched peers get to top levels only to subsequently lose their titles and ranks. Now, he’s afraid the same thing will happen to him, so he sadly settles for middle-of-the-pack results and stops trying to advance.

Doubtbuster: Don’t model your path on someone else’s failure. Learn from others’ challenges, but create your success based on your real ambitions. Your focus should not be hampered by negative “what ifs” or obstacles that may or may not be down the road. Instead, do something every day to make every day better than the one  before.

Beliefs of all stripes affect how we think and act and are much more important than we often realize, Brown says. “People go to war and die for their beliefs—that is how strong they are. So beliefs affect our day-to-day decisions and our ultimate potential.”

In her quest to vanquish self-doubt and start her business, Nelson learned that most entrepreneurs are willing to offer encouragement and support.

“They’ve been there, done that,” she says. “And if someone says no, I move on. I stopped thinking small and started thinking big. I stopped making assumptions of what people thought, took a deep breath and forced myself to make the call. In the small-business world, people can’t thrive if they are too fearful.”

Despite what popular culture often leads us to believe, success takes time. “We live in a world filled with manufactured illusions, in which achievements appear to happen extremely fast and in which we’re fed false, inflated images,” Frankel says. A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step, as the ancient Chinese proverb says. So put one foot in front of the other and just get started on the quest to achieve your greatest aspiration.

On TV, Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran is clearly a successful, no-nonsense, savvy businesswoman. So much so that it’s hard to imagine her as anything but brimming with self-confidence.

Yet the real estate empire builder says that when she was in her 20s, she was filled with self-doubt, afraid to reach for the brass ring. She had what she calls “a self-limiting tape” running in her head.

Dumping her first husband, who told her she would never make it in real estate, was the first step to making it big. “I learned to replace my fear with a tape that kicks in my brain that says, You have the right to get out of life exactly what you want and be as successful as you want to be,” Corcoran says. “You have just as much right as the next guy, the God-given right to get there just like anyone else. It’s not a private club.”

That tape in Corcoran’s head has served her well.

“It has gotten me through every door I’ve been afraid of,” she says. “And I’ve always gotten what I  wanted on the other side.”

http://www.success.com/article/doubtbusters-erase-self-limiting-beliefs

4 Happiness Myths That Make It Impossible To Actually BE Happy

               

For much of my life, happiness eluded me. I understood the idea of being happy, but I couldn’t experience it. I had a rough childhood that involved mental, physical, and emotional abuse. I left home at 17 to escape. I didn't see or feel happiness very much growing up.

My happiness isn't an accident. It took a lot of work to get here, and it takes work to maintain it.

After I left home, I dropped out of high school to work three jobs. That didn’t afford me many happy moments, either. I did get my GED, which then qualified me to get a series of 13 dead-end jobs. At that point, I'm not sure I even believed in happiness anymore — or at least that it was accessible to me. But then everything changed.

At this point in my life, I can honestly tell you that I experience happiness every day. I understand what it means, and what nourishes and detracts from it. It isn't an accident. It took a lot of work to get here, and it takes work to maintain it.

For me, it all started with teaching myself a new way of thinking about and seeking happiness. Certain myths about happiness had been blocking the true experience of it, until I let them go.

Here are a few of the myths that might be holding you back, too.

1. Happiness is a destination.

I always thought of happiness as a finish line. I thought it started with working on my major life goals, and when I accomplished them, I would “reach” happiness. Beginning to explore the idea of happiness in literature and with people wiser than I, I began to accept that happiness is not dependent on circumstance. It's dependent on mindset.

You don’t have to achieve your biggest goals and dreams before you can be happy. The journey to those achievements is filled with opportunities for joy. Life doesn't always play fair. It might have dealt you a tough hand. But that isn't a barrier to happiness. It's an opportunity to adjust your attitude and find satisfaction in the slivers of light that shine so much more brightly in the dark. Nothing is more satisfying than enjoying happiness after every punch you take.

2. You can be happy without money.

For a large portion of my life, I’ve been broke. Correction: more than broke. I owed money to family, friends, and companies and was constantly stressed about how I was going to pay the bills.

In 2012, I started a lifestyle business. I write, speak, and consult. The business grew and allowed me to pay off all my debt. With the debt paid off and enough money to live comfortably, I learned that although money doesn’t lead to happiness, it IS a part of the happiness equation.

You can’t enjoy the little things when you’re constantly stressed about having enough money to pay your bills. You don’t need to be a millionaire or even make six figures, but you do have to have enough money to free yourself from financial stress. Liberating yourself from worry is crucial to lasting happiness.

3. Your relationships don't determine your happiness.

Love is one of life's most exquisite gifts. But it can break your heart. I have experienced both. I was convinced that I could be happy despite everything inside of me screaming in pain from lost love. I was wrong.

Your relationships can and will affect your happiness.

It's important to end any toxic relationships and embrace the ones that make your life better. Get honest with yourself about the relationships in your life. If they make you unhappy more often than they make you happy, it might be time to reassess their value.

4. I, personally, cannot be happy because...

I could insert hundreds of reasons I thought happiness was out of reach — the abuse, the lack of education, the series of disheartening jobs — they all painted a picture that happiness just wasn't in the cards for me.

Your beliefs directly affect your decisions and actions. If you don’t believe happiness is possible for you, trying to make choices that lead to happiness will seem ridiculous.

Happiness starts in your mind and manifests in your actions. Don’t let self-limiting beliefs convince you that you can't have what you want. You can be happy.

Happiness is a decision you can make right now. You can wake up each day determined to choose happiness and do the work to make happiness your reality.

What myths about happiness have you been believing?

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-23723/4-happiness-myths-that-make-it-impossible-to-actually-be-happy.html

6 Struggles I Had To Give Up To Be Happy

Every time I think about my childhood, I get angry. A time that should have been filled with happy moments spent learning and growing was ruined by physical abuse. This wasn’t just spanking — it went far beyond that. Chairs, lamp switches, and sticks were used as instruments of punishment. The scars I developed went far deeper than the surface of my skin.

At 17, I'd had enough. I remember coming home from school to two angry parents. They had somehow heard I was dating someone at work. I assured them I wasn't, but I guess they didn't believe me. Before I could say anything else, I was being beaten with a stick. Rather than continuing to subject myself to that, I chose to live on the streets

It was hard leaving a two-parent home — and my two brothers and sisters — but I had to do it. I left without a dollar to my name but felt free for the first time in my life. I dropped out of high school and got three jobs just to survive. Once I got myself on my feet, I studied and earned my GED.

Once I'd gotten off the streets and gotten a place of my own, I started trying to build a life. But I still had to recover from the physical and mental abuse and the trauma I experienced while homeless. That's when the scars opened up wide. Every relationship I had — platonic or romantic — was a struggle for me. I couldn’t open up and face the demons that terrorized me daily. Eventually, I realized I wouldn't be able to find happiness until I dealt with them. Here are a few of my struggles and the solutions that helped me conquer them:

1. I felt anger from my abusive past.

I grew up with strict punishments that involved being spanked and more. The spanking wasn’t limited to my butt; I was beaten all over my body. This led me to be an angry adult who always wanted to resolve arguments in a physical way. I also struggled with fits of anger at random times. Through counseling and becoming self-aware, I was able to get better. I still struggle with anger, but it’s not the crazy outbursts that I used to give in to. I gained control after months of therapy and taking up meditation.

2. I was frustrated by my lack of education.

Because I had dropped out of high school, I always felt dumb. There were things I missed by dropping out that hurt my dream of being a writer. I was often frustrated by my lack of grammar skills and I let that hold me back. Eventually, rather than just whine at the universe, I decided to work twice as hard to learn what I wanted to know. I read books on grammar, took some online courses, and became an editor at The Good Men Project to learn. Today, I’m the author of four books — three of them traditionally published — which have sold more than 100,000 copies.

3. I had developed unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I turned to food in moments of depression and pain. I stopped exercising and slept too much as a way to escape. At the worst, I was 170 pounds overweight. Eventually, I prioritized healthy habits. I regularly started exercising and watched what I ate. Every choice I made supported living a healthy lifestyle. I lost those 170 pounds in a two-year span, after finally acknowledging the source of my poor choices.

4. I suffered from a lack of self-esteem.

The excess weight and lack of education contributed to my poor self-image. I felt fat and stupid. Losing the weight and chasing my dream of becoming a writer — despite my fears — is how I learned to love what makes me. For most of my life, I’ve battled self-limiting beliefs because of my past.

I let my abusive past, lack of education, and internal struggles prevent me from taking the first steps to creating change in my life. When I finally decided to move forward anyway, I started on the journey to a life I love.

5. I was ruled by doubt, fear, and the negative voices of others.

Making any change is hard, and it’s especially hard when you’re starting from a disadvantage. I had to overcome my doubt, the fear of failure, and input from people in my life who said my dreams were impossible. I wrote for months on my blog without seeing any results. Then, out of the blue, I got an email from a random person saying my writing was helping him. That was all I needed to continue to push forward.

6. I got involved in toxic relationships.

The negative people became toxic by trying to project their self-limiting beliefs onto my life and dreams. I had a best friend at the time who did everything he could to persuade me I was crazy. I asked for his support, but he was convinced my dreams weren't possible. I had to purge the negativity from my life to move forward, and that meant putting distance between myself and certain people.

It wasn't easy to part ways with friends, but I was honest about what I needed in my life and told them all that I hoped we could reconnect at some point in the future. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders when I did.

I can honestly say that I’m happy with my life today. I have beaten my demons through counseling, self-awareness, and concerted effort, and by opening up to the woman I love. The scars have healed. You can conquer your demons too. Don't just try to shove them deeper inside yourself. Get counseling, talk to a trusted friend or family member, take up meditation. Don't stop until you figure out what works for you and you experience real healing.

Life is hard, and it doesn’t get easier. If you want to be happy, you have to make that choice, every day. Open up, get help, and forgive. That's how you can let go of the past, the painful memories, and begin to move toward the life you want. It’s not easy, but it is possible.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-23277/6-struggles-i-had-to-give-up-to-be-happy.html

How to BECOME Wealthy

Aside from temporary setbacks and extraordinary fortunes of inheritance or luck, if you want to know how people feel about themselves, look at their bank accounts.

MONEY is the greatest measurement of one’s mindset.

This is probably why there is so much emotion and neurosis tied to people’s relationship with money. That is why I say if you want to fix your money problems, get your head examined. It’s your attitude about money that will rake it in or repel it from you. Your money, and your mentality about it is what we are going to focus on in this 2 part series. I am going to help you Look Within so you don’t Go Without.

In the book The Instant Millionaire by Mark Fisher, the old millionaire asks the boy who has sought his advice, “Why aren’t you rich already?”

Hey, that’s a good question to ask yourself.

We live in an era of unprecedented wealth and opportunity. More people have become wealthy in the last 20 years than any other time in human history—why haven’t you? Seriously, write that question down and answer it. “Why am I not wealthy?”

Your answer to this question will reveal a lot about yourself. Your answers will expose your self-limiting beliefs, your doubts, your fears, your excuses, your rationalizations and maybe some justifications.

You see, we need to Reprogram Your Mental Hard Drive.

One of the greatest limitations to achieving financial abundance is a deep-seated belief that somehow money is wrong and people who have a lot of it are inherently evil. This belief is invented fiction. It goes back to early childhood conditioning when a growing child is often told this because of other people’s envy or desire to rationalize away their own financial failures.

The fact is money is good.

It takes money to build hospitals, churches and shelters. Money is also needed to buy homes, cars, clothes, food, vacations and other glorious experiences in life. Life is limitless abundance.

To acquire money is not to take it away from someone else. Money is granted to the creator, the one who has built something where nothing existed before. Money is the instrument of exchange for valued production. Money is earned only by the producer. The accumulation of wealth is accomplished only by consistently applied effort and discipline.

Money has an energy of its own, and it is largely attracted to people who understand its virtues and respect its power. Money tends to flow toward those people who can use it in the most productive ways to produce valuable goods and services, and who can invest it to create employment and opportunities that benefit others. At the same time, money flows away from those who use it poorly, or who spend it in non-productive ways.

THUS, To Have More, You Must Become More. You have heard the phrase, “water seeks its own level,” right? Fortunately, or unfortunately (depending on your level), the same is true about money. Money will meet you where you are. Stated another way, your net worth will equal your self-worth. These are not just clever quips, they are wise truths—and stark realities for some.

So let me ask you, what would make you happy and boost your sense of well-being?

You might be surprised. You may realize you really don’t require any more money than you already have. Sometimes a simple change in attitude is all that’s needed to feel good about your life.

People often think, “If only I could get a promotion or a new car, I’d be happy.”

I want you to take inventory of the great wealth you already have. Ask yourself, “What do I feel grateful for in my life?”

Take a couple of minutes to write it down.

Now, if you were to show that list to most people around the world and they will indeed call you wealthy. You see, wealthy is a matter of context and perspective which ultimately creates a feeling. Feel thankful for all you have, and you will feel instantly wealthy.

Here’s the trick, once you feel wealthy you will continue to think wealthy and act wealthy, and it will charge the magnet that will attract more wealth to you.

People become wealthy because they DECIDE to become wealthy.

Those who believe they can become wealthy and are worthy of great financial wealth are the ones who will be. Because they believe this completely, they act accordingly. They consistently take the necessary actions that turn their beliefs into realities.

I want you to decide now that you ARE worthy of great wealth, and it will be your first step toward great prosperity.

Anywhere in the western world, and beyond, opportunity is everywhere. No matter where you look, you will find someone pursuing their dream and being rewarded with great abundance. For centuries, people have sacrificed life and limb just to get us to this point. You are here.

People with far more difficulties and much greater obstacles and limitations have gone on to become incredibly wealthy—why NOT you? People who are less intelligent, poorer, who had more difficult childhoods, fewer privileges and no support have gone on to make great fortunes.So can you.

If you think you can, you will.

Your attitude will determine your destiny.

So here are 5 Tips to Improve Your Wealth Attitude:

1) Write down all that you are grateful for in your life right now—read it every day.

2) Make a decision that you will be wealthy. Affirm that decision every day by taking ACTION in that direction.

3) Surround yourself with the people who are where you want to be financially.Read and listen to material (like SUCCESS!) that will support your new outlook and attitude about what’s possible.

4) Read and listen to material (like SUCCESS!) that will support your new outlook and attitude about what’s possible.

5) Teach others the attitudes of wealth. Once you teach it, you will learn it.

Let’s get to adjusting your mindsets and attitudes about money so that they become the magnets you need to get the money flowing to you instead of away from you.

http://darrenhardy.success.com/2015/05/become-wealthy/

8 Secrets To Developing Confidence (So Self-Doubt Never Sabotages You Again)

“What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.” ~Seneca

I can still remember it like it happened yesterday.

There I was. Ten years old. It was my first day back at school.

I walked past the enormous church that marked the entrance of the school compound. I passed under this huge tree as it towered over me. I was in a crowd of other screaming school kids. They laughed and cackled loudly.

Me?

I just felt overwhelmed.

See, I was always an anxious kid. Scared. Worried that I hadn’t done my homework properly. Terrified I’d be punished. That was the world I lived in.

For many years, my fears tainted my vision like prison bars that impose a life sentence on inmates who have long forgotten the bars even exist.

As I reached adolescence, my fears manifested as a series of failures. My unshakeable belief in my ineptitude stopped me from truly trying to succeed. Unwittingly, I was conforming to a self-fulfilling prophecy I’d set for myself.

Many years later, I married an amazing woman who truly believed in me—often when I didn’t believe in myself. Her confidence in my abilities forced me to re-examine my limiting beliefs.

She’d repeatedly tell me that I could achieve my goals, provided I put in the effort.

Eventually, I did.

That was over ten years ago. Today, I’m a confident man who stands tall and is comfortable in his own skin.

You can develop this confidence too.

Here are the eight secrets to confidence I learned along the way.

1. Let the dancer become the dance.

Do you ever feel disconnected from what you’re doing because of that little voice telling you you’re not good enough?

Does your mental chatter derail your sincere efforts? If so, you’re not alone. We all experience this from time to time.

The solution?

Make a decision to lose yourself completely in your work. Get so absorbed in it that you enter a state of flow. Let the dancer become the dance.

When the dancer becomes the dance, there is no dancer, and therefore no one to suffer from lack of confidence.

There’s just the dance. The flow.

2. Choose an emotional state of success.

Building self-efficacy is a great way to develop confidence.

Reflect on your past successes. They don’t have to be related to what you’re trying to achieve right now. They just have to be your successes.

The point here is to reconnect with those feelings and emotions. They’ll set you up for success in your current endeavor.

When I face self-doubt as a writer, I quietly reflect on the feeling of success I experienced when my mentor (Jon Morrow) sent me an email saying he was proud of me.

I often go back to that email to reconnect with the feeling of success it evokes. Seeing this evidence of my abilities as a writer drives away the self-doubt every single time.

3. Empower yourself with visualizations.

Visualizing yourself succeeding is another powerful approach.

Have you watched an elite athlete just before a hundred-meter sprint? She looks intensely at the finish line and visualizes herself sprinting down the track faster than anybody else in the field.

In fact, she’s visualized herself winning the race hundreds and thousands of times to prepare. That’s how she prepares to give her very best over those hundred meters.

Repeatedly visualizing success can actually rewire your brain. It creates positive neural pathways that restore the natural confidence you had as a child.

Not only does this stop you from thinking negative thoughts, but it actually replaces negative thinking with (confidence boosting) positive images.

4. Use your past failures to vanquish self-doubt.

A large amount of self-doubt arises from our past failures. Each time we fail at something, we develop self-limiting beliefs, which get embedded in our psyche and our thinking.

Fortunately, we can use these past failures—think the trail of breadcrumbs in the story Hansel and Gretel—to lead us back to these self-limiting beliefs. And once they’re out in the open, we can then challengethem.

Imagine this: You have this belief that you’re no good at athletics. Maybe the seeds were sown when you did poorly in track and field in high school. And since then you’ve always made a half-hearted effort at athletics because you thought, “Why bother? I’m no good at athletics anyway.”

See the (self-defeating) belief here? That (one) poor performance early in life created a belief that you’re not good at athletics. And that belief led to a half-hearted approach, which in turn stopped you from getting good at athletics.

See the vicious cycle?

Challenge that belief that you’re no good at athletics, and you stop making a half-hearted effort. And that’s how you get good and break out of the cycle.

Here’s the thing: The past is not a predictor of your future performance, if you make a conscious effort to improve.

So, examine your past failures and use them to challenge your self-limiting beliefs.

It’ll do wonders for your confidence!

5. Edit those sentences in your head.

Do you think in sentences? Most of us do.

Imagine this. You’re about to give a talk to a roomful of people.

If you lacked confidence, the sentences in your head would sound something like this: “Ummm…. Hopefully this talk will be okay. I think I’ll be fine. But what if I crash and burn? No I’ll be okay. Geez I hope I’ll be okay.”

Do you see the vacillation in that self-talk? One second you’re thinking you’ll be okay and the next second you’re terrified that you’ll crash and burn.

The good news?

All you need to do is edit the sentences in your head.

The sentences you want to hear in your head sound something like this: “This talk is going to go well. Sure, it won’t be perfect. Nothing ever is. But I’m going to absolutely enjoy this and I’ll successfully get my message across.”

Notice the words absolutely and successfully?

See the tone in those sentences? There’s no vacillation.

It’s almost as if you made a decision to be successful. And that’s reflected in your self-talk.

Of course, this isn’t going to happen overnight. Like anything, it takes conscious effort and consistent practice.

Is it worth the effort?

You bet.

6. Train your body to manipulate your mind.

Think of the times when you felt a bit low. Most likely, you were slouching, your breath was shallow, and you were staring at the ground.

Guess what?

You can use your body language to build your confidence. You get your body to fake it till your mind makes it. The body informs the mind about how to feel, as much as the mind influences the body.

Start with your posture. Stand tall.

Breathe deeply.

Speak purposefully and slowly.

And then watch the magic happen.

Don’t believe me? Try it.

7. Cultivate a positive opinion of yourself and learn to value it over others’.

We all look to authority figures for approval during our developmental years. In fact, this feedback is essential for our social development.

But as you grow older and gather life experiences, you must scale this back.

Now, I’m not suggesting other people’s opinions don’t matter, they do—up to a point.

You’ve got to recognize that we all have unfounded prejudices based on our individual life experiences—this includes those authority figures.

It’s one thing to learn from constructive criticism and use it to better yourself.

But, to get overwhelmed by others’ opinions of you? That’s an unskillful approach.

There is no expert on you.

Instead, work on cultivating a positive opinion of yourself.

Here’s a great way to start. Next time you feel undermined by someone’s opinion of you, make a conscious choice not to get overwhelmed. Take on what’s constructive and discard the rest.

Now here’s the important part.

Ready?

Bring your attention back to your own opinion of yourself. Understand that your opinion of yourself matters as much as anyone else’s because you know yourself better than anyone.

There’s no reason to be overwhelmed by others’ opinions of you.

8. Use external stimuli to leverage your way to confidence.

What’s your favorite song that truly gets you going?

Several athletes listen to music just before a race to put themselves into a certain state (of confidence) just before a race so they can perform at their best. They get in the zone.

Another great way to get in the zone is to use external stimuli. Hold a trophy or a certificate of achievement that you may have won in the past.

Physically connecting with a tangible memento of past successes is a great way to send a concrete message of success to your mind.

You’ve got this.

It’s never easy to get started on a new path. But once you develop the habit of confidence, you’ll never look back.

See, we all have our own vulnerable inner child that feels overwhelmed like I did on my first day of school.

But over time, I learned to embrace that inner child, acknowledge his fears, and then make a conscious choice not to get overwhelmed. Much like a father reassures his son.

And I can honestly say I’ve never felt stronger.

You, too, can acknowledge your inner child’s fears and comfort him or her with love and acceptance.

And before long, you’ll be the confident person you were always meant to be. Self-doubt will never darken your (mental) doorway again.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/8-secrets-developing-confidence-self-doubt-never-sabotages-you/