If The Struggle Is Real, It's Worth It In The End

Emotional Intensity

The American novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote a letter to his daughter Scottie in 1940 stating, "Life is essentially a cheat and its conditions are those of defeat; the redeeming things are not happiness and pleasure but the deeper satisfactions that come out of struggle."

Struggle is tied closely to the human condition, a simmering battle of opposing forces. It lurks amidst the anguish of opportunity and seizes upon us in moments of weakness.

The struggle is obvious, whether you're engaged in chasing your dreams or caught up in the grind of everyday living.

Embedded in each person's struggle is a purpose waiting to unfold.

Yet, many people never make it this far because the struggle intensifies their pain, and they quit even while they are ahead.

"Everything in your life - especially your challenges - is tailor-made to help you see your stories of struggle. Whatever is in the way is the way!" avows author Mary O'Malley in What's in the Way Is the Way: A Practical Guide for Waking Up to Life.

In fact, the biggest impediments faced during times of struggle are the thoughts that get in the way.

Just think of the last time you were enraged and considered writing an abrasive email, yet came back to it the following day.

I'm sure your emotional intensity waned, and you no longer felt the same. Why is that?

The point I wish to emphasise, is that your thoughts and their corresponding emotions are real. You experience their intensity and feel compelled to act on them.

Not necessarily.

Feel the emotions, but avoid being trapped by their impulsiveness.

Running away from pain only intensifies it. Explore the emotions by all means but don't stuff them down.

The issue is that you are trapped in your thoughts and are overstating what is taking place. You assign a storyline not reflecting reality.

"Struggles only persist when we search outside for causes and cures," asserts sports psychologist Garret Kramer in The Path of No Resistance: Why Overcoming is Simpler than You Think.

Looking back on history, the greatest stories arise from pain and struggle.

Joseph Campbell's mythological narrative of the Hero's Journey draws on twelve distinct themes, the two main encounters being: Crossing The Threshold and The Ordeal.

This same narrative is the basis of every successful Hollywood film. The main character experiences an obstacle in the beginning, only to overcome it in the end.

The American writer Mark Twain said, "Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't."

What transpires is more inexplicable than can be imagined.

We identify with this narrative because it is the human story we know all too well.

These forces are sewn into the fabric of life, designed to help you discover your greatness if you dare.

Resistance and Struggle

I value author and social researcher Brené Brown's perspective in Rising Strong: "But I'm learning that the process of struggling and navigating hurt has as much to offer us as the process of being brave and showing up."

Inner growth does not occur without resistance and struggle. Those with financial riches are not immune to life's challenges.

The struggle is the seed that gives life to the unfolding story that beckons you to explore.

What if your struggles have actually laid the foundations for something greater to emerge?

Is it worth exploring?

If there's a compelling enough reason, it may ultimately lead you to success. Nothing should stand in the way if your motives are strong enough.

"People who cheat want to avoid the struggle, the cost, or the fight. They don't know the truth about winning: Nothing of value in this world comes easy. The only way to get anywhere worthwhile is to go to work," states author Larry Weidel in Serial Winner: 5 Actions to Create Your Cycle of Success.

Rest if you must, take a break however long, but don't give up because you interfere with the unfolding story if you exit midway.

How can you maintain a hopeful outlook during uncertain times you ask?

The Struggle Is Real and Worth It

                            

First, embrace the struggle, the pain and the disappointment.

By associating with it, you appreciate the goal or dream is real. The frustration, the heartache and misery is inviting you to reach higher.

Recall the Hero's Journey?

No one portrays this more persuasively than former President of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt, in a speech entitled Man in the Arena. "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."

Don't run away from the struggle as it will linger longer than you want it to.

Consider it an old friend who comes to stay for a while, yet is still sleeping on your couch six months later.

The struggle is not constrained by a timeline nor concerned by your disappointments. When it ushers into your life, it will turn you inside out and entrench itself deep within your psyche.

So invite it in, make it a cup of tea since it will be staying longer. Become acquainted with what it wants you to know and why it has called upon you.

Identify with the struggle and don't defeat it sooner because it will assuredly overstay its welcome if you force it to leave.

Author Mary O'Malley states, "In fact, everything in your life is a part of the journey into recognizing and living from a place that is beyond struggle."

Then one day, the struggle will disappear in search of another person to befriend.

Bid farewell and be ready to welcome the next episode; reward. When she sweeps in, it will be as though the struggle was a moment frozen in time.

It is with that we return to F. Scott Fitzgerald's opening quote and draw your attention to the deeper satisfactions of our lives emerge out of struggle.

Were it not for the pain, how would you know the depths of your character?

For hidden within the recesses of your soul lies the need for glory, made apparent as struggle.

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When Does Happiness Hurt?

Has happiness ever hurt you? When does it feel so? It's an interesting question and I answer it in this article. Read on to find out.

Suppose you have toiled and toiled laboriously, chasing your dreams for years and years and then by the grace of God, everything falls together - in fact, the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle all fit together. And then you experience happiness which hurts a bit.

Why does happiness have to hurt this way? Because you were battling all the time, never seeing the fruits of your labor and when finally you covered the milestone and you do see those fruits vividly, happiness is something you experience innovatively. It's unknown to you or you have forgotten how to take that emotion. It is in these moments happiness hurts but in a good sort of way.

Why do you need to experience happiness if it hurts? The hurt will only be for a short time and the major part of it when it envelopes you in the emotion, you experience good feelings. You feel happy to talk to anyone, to help anyone or lessen the burden on someone. So experiencing happiness with a little hurt is healthy - not bad at all.

Are you afraid to experience happiness after struggling for years? Why should you? Happiness is a good feeling and you should embrace it but not reject it otherwise you fall into the spirals of agony and depression.

How else can you experience happiness that hurts a little? When after a long duration of extreme displeasure and disappointments, someone looks up to you with kindness and shows care for you, happiness couldn't hurt better than that in this case.

Another way you experience this kind of happiness is when you lose a child for good but start to adopt one. Even then happiness will hurt. You have lost your own child that you have birthed but you can start loving another child that you start to adopt. Why would happiness hurt? Because it involves a loss but all the same, you make up for it in a way you choose.

Happiness would hurt in academic endeavors as well. When you have so many quizzes and exams to appear, your life seems unbearable. But you manage somehow to surpass them all with high honor, earning a reputable degree. Happiness would hurt in this case because you see the light at the end of the tunnel at last after long toilsome work, work and work.

Summing up, anything you achieve after a long struggle will make happiness hurt at first, and gradually the pain fades away and you feel bathed in glorious sunshine of abundant bliss.

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The Amazing You

Everyone has embarked on a particular journey or several of them with the aim of achieving something in their lifetime. However, most of us have given up even before starting or when we are just about to make a major break-through. In most cases, people always come up with reasons as to why they gave up on their dreams. Some of the justifications that most people cite include money, knowledge, talent, luck, experience and even subsequent failure. To discover the amazing you, you must not give up on your dreams no matter what. Read on to know why you shouldn't give up so that you become a better person in the society.

Setting a good example

If you have kids (or planning to get some in future), you want them to see the amazing you through your great achievements. The same applies to your family members especially your younger siblings or those that depend on you such as your aged parents. You would not want your children to tell stories about how you wasted an opportunity later in life. The main point here is to show the future generations what chasing your dreams really mean. And how do you achieve that? by simply not giving up.

The alternative to giving up

Giving up is not an option because you only become aimless. Remember that there is a reason for every setback that you come across in life. You may not realize the reasons from the outset, but with time, you do. There is no individual in the whole world that does not fear to fail. Interestingly, a substantial number of the most well-known people in the world had to fail over and over again before they achieved their dreams. A good example is Abraham Lincoln, who failed as a businessman, as a lawyer, at war and even in politics at the first time, but finally made it. Therefore, to achieve your dreams, you must learn to persist and persevere.

Avoid regrets

You have probably regretted trying something in your life. It could have been starting up a business or even asking someone special out on a date. No matter what kind of thing you didn't try out, the feeling of wondering what could have been can eat at you for many years. You can avoid that feeling of regret if you keep on trying. You don't have to start big. Begin by coming up with small steps on how you will achieve your objectives. And little by little, you will invent a path that will lead you to become the amazing you.

Some people are worse off than you

When striving at achieving your dreams, keep in mind that there is someone else who is far from reaching where you already are. So, whenever you think about giving up, remember that those people who are behind you are in a worse environment or situation than you. This takes us back to the point of setting a good example. It's such a great feeling to be an inspiration to others when you refuse to give up. People can find a reason to fight harder and achieve their goals. You are also able to prove the naysayers wrong when you don't give up on your dreams.

There will be successes along the way

With your big dreams, it's obvious that you will come across some stepping stones of achievement. These stepping stones come in the form of victories that give you the motivation to push on till you realize your dreams. And in the same breath, the small achievements that you make along the way help in shaping the amazing you since they offer you a practical learning opportunity to enhance your strategy.

The ultimate joy of success

As mentioned earlier, we often give up too soon since we at times can't see what the future holds for us. There is no need of surrendering your dreams because you will achieve them one day. The elation that will come with the attainment will make the entire struggle worthwhile. A mere phone call or one more interview could be standing between you and success enabling you to become the amazing you in the blink of an eye. The fascinating part is that you never know how close you are because success is usually just around the corner.

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