The Perils Of Comparison (By Tim Connor)

I can't tell you how many people I have met during my world travels when only after a few minutes of conversation they started comparing themselves to someone or something else. A competitor, a celebrity, a fellow employee or even someone they didn't even know.

Why do we need personal validation by comparison? Why do we need to feel better or worthier than others? And why can't we accept who we are, what we have accomplished, our flaws and mistakes, our failures and disappointments without the ego's need to compare and look better than others?

As a global speaker for many years I have observed this trait is especially true of many people in my profession, but believe me - we are not unique. I can't tell you how many business people I have met who have to tell some story about who they are better than, smarter than and/or more accomplished than others they know and even those they don't know in some way.

Trust me - you don't have to be the smartest, best looking, wealthiest or most famous person in the room to feel good about yourself. So why are so many people stuck in this comparison mode whether subtly or overtly "in your face"?

Not to brag here (that is not my intent) but I want to make a simple statement - during my career as an international bestselling author (over 80 books) and a global speaker (25 countries) my intent and goal was never fame and let me state that I have been very successful in achieving this goal. Go ahead laugh.

Life is not about what others think of you or you think of others. And if it is - trust me you will never find contentment, inner peace or happiness because there will always be someone out there smarter, better and wealthier etc. than you in some way - always!

Have you ever noticed that when people generally compare themselves to others they either use someone less successful or someone who they can criticize whether this person deserves it or not?

I can also tell you that many of my heroes - to mention just a few - Og Mandino, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, Jesus, Winston Churchill, Mother Teresa and Charlie Tremendous Jones - comparison was not in their DNA.

What they all had in common was the humility and the desire to contribute in their own special way to the value of humanity and life in general.

Let me ask you - have you ever compared yourself to others to try and convince yourself that you were better in some way or just to make yourself feel OK about yourself? Come on - be honest here.

Why do we need to compare? Is it insecurity, an overcharged ego, the need for approval, the desire to please or simply the fact that we can't admit that we all have flaws and/or weaknesses in our thoughts, actions, decisions and behaviors in some way?

I challenge you for the next couple of weeks as you talk with others to observe their comparisons or your own during conversations and then ask yourself - why? Why do I need to do this? Why do they need to do this? Try it you will be amazed at how frequently we are all guilty of this simple yet rather stupid trait. Stupid you say Tim? Yep, cause what do you think you really accomplish with all of these comparisons?

More or less respect? More or less fame? More or less self-satisfaction? More or less something_______? Sorry!

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Perils-Of-Comparison&id=9865687

Trending Much? Maybe You're Missing What Sets You Apart (By Nina Oglesby)

It's 4:20 am. I can't go back to bed until I build you up in this. Let my early morning reflection benefit you. Whether you're new to entrepreneurship or you're an oldie but goodie, this encouragement is for you. Often we overlook the possibilities and opportunities of what our gifts present us. We fear where we're behind. On top of that, we live by the code of comparisons. On one end you have blogs that tell us to kill the comparisons we make against ourselves and others. There is another voice of reason that shouts out about competition, competition, competition.

Comparisons can get us in trouble. It robs us of the peace needed to make progress. We feel as if our work is never good enough. And we hold ourselves hostage to where we are. We assume there will be no opportunities left by the time we get this thing (our vision or business) figured out. I know that having peace makes a difference in how we tackle the challenges of our work. So, proceed with caution as you read the next two paragraphs.

Let this morning reflection bless you. Some of the most successful men of our times swear by morning rituals. My morning ritual is meditative writing. You may say, well I am not a religious person. Well, you are a human person. And you know what it is to carry the weight of deadlines, missed objectives, frustration, and loneliness. You know what it is to feel out of the loop. You can't possibly be on top of everything, not by yourself, anyway. You may spend moments doubting yourself. You may even ask yourself, where will I get the budget to implement all these new ideas? So, I want to affirm you and share this with you.

God said that your gifts will make room for you (See. Proverbs 18:16). A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great. He didn't say your technological advances, chatbots, or latest digital trends would do it. He noted {after you've identified, activated, and deployed your room makers} your gifts! Now, if your contribution is your ability to work your stuff in technical advances, then work it! If you must learn how to leverage trends in tech to highlight and work your stuff, so be it! But, don't you dare limit God to what's happening and trending on earth's watch. He can open doors for you through your work, as you work your worth, right where you are.

Nina, are you promoting the idea that it's okay to be behind the curve in what's popping? Not at all! I spend my days studying and learning what's new. Learn to do what's necessary to make your gifts pop. But, you need peace for progress. That can't happen if you limit God's providence to inside the box. You do know he can work outside of it, don't you? Cultivate peace for progress. Your business will thank you for it. So, will your clients and your community.

Let this peace wash over your worries. Remember that you are a gift, with gifts. There is no way around that. It is inevitable. Nothing can dim that truth. The question is will you hold yourself hostage to what you think others think of you? Or will you soar knowing you are a gift, with gifts, to be a gift to the world around you? We spend much time thinking about things matter very little. Yet, we miss what's waiting ahead. We fear we don't have what it takes. You weren't designed with waste in mind. Be confident in that! Tell yourself, I AM A GIFT. I have gifts to be a gift. Well, I am heading back to bed. I'm sure I'll be stopping by to encourage you again. It's sort of my thing. Go be great today! Work your work.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Trending-Much?-Maybe-Youre-Missing-What-Sets-You-Apart&id=9960056

The Tyranny of Comparison

Do you compare yourself to others all the time? Do you have a difficult time to know what to wear to a function? Do you call your friends and compare yourself to them all the time?

If you answered any of the above questions in the affirmative, it is fair to say that you do a lot of comparing in your life. And this can lead to many frustrating moments for yourself and others.

The one main problem with comparison is that it makes us feel less of ourselves. When we compare, we never feel like we are enough. And this can lead to a lot of self-esteem issues that will follow you right into your adult years and beyond.

The best way to avoid comparison is well not to compare. This can be hard to do at first because we live in a world that is always comparing. Even our educational system highlights the importance of comparison. We are compared to others in terms of who does better on tests and subjects. We are also compared on who does better in athletics.

So, comparison does have its place. However, we overuse it to say the least when it mars our every moment and makes us feel less than all of our peers and friends. The truth is that we aren't less than anyone else. We are who we are uniquely.

In other words, each of us has a unique personality and character traits. Yes, this makes us all different, but isn't that a good thing? What if the world comprised of only one type of person? Wouldn't that be boring?

Comparison also undermines our self-esteem over time. We end up thinking a lot less of ourselves, and if we keep copying everything other people are doing, we will never know who we truly are. And ultimately, when we become adults, we will be living someone else's life.

This can lead to inauthenticity and a lack of meaning in your life. After all, if you are duplicating things from others, how can you know you are doing what you truly should do, given your beliefs and values? I guess you don't. But this uncertain mindset can cause a lot of frustration and unhappiness for you later in life.

Therefore, the best thing you can do for yourself is to live a life that is truly your own. Don't compare yourself to others but you are incomparable to others. You are who you are, and your friends and family members are who they are. Just as we can't change who someone else is, they shouldn't be able to change who we are. But we have to get to know who we are. And we can only doing that by not constantly compare ourselves to others.

We all deserve an authentic life. The good news is that it can be ours if only we step off the marry-go-round of comparison.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Tyranny-of-Comparison&id=9954238

Choose Your Affirmations

Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down - as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go. Melody Beattie

Sometimes positive affirmations are no match for the overwhelming emotions that many of us can be feeling. We try to be disciplined and write them every day, only to begin to feel that they really are not creating the desired outcome. Yet we know that many successful people affirm the process and even go so far as to demonstrate how they have created the manifestation desired.

Doctor Joe Pace, a recognized performance psychologist, in his video 'Affirm Your Way to Success' talks about how to use Reticular Activity System (RAS) within our brains to help attract the things and experiences we want in our lives. He also gives us an understanding of how we can actually help them show up more often using tools like affirmations.

Some of the key take-aways from the video can be don't give up too quickly on your affirmations and be more mindful of events that are being delivered up to achieve your goals. If you need a check list of activities you can do to enhance your success with affirmations and to reduce the self-talk negative cycle, consider some of the following suggestions...

1. Personal: Ideally, affirmations are written with the word "I" in them. You can only affirm for yourself. The desired change will come about because of something you do, and it is your own inner picture that will change because of your affirmation. This is why we encourage your goals to have action steps, otherwise they appear to be only wishes.

2. Positive: Always describe what you want in your affirmation. Describe what you want to move toward, not what you want to move away from. Checking your mind chatter and negative thoughts is an important first step.

3. Present Tense: Affirmations are written as though they are happening right now. This requires using your imagination and becomes easier with practice. This present tense also helps you break down your affirmation and goals into smaller bits attached to what is really possible.

4. Indicate Achievement: Eliminate words such as, "can, will, should, and want to" etc., from your affirmations. Include phrases such as, "I am, I do, or I have." It is important to give your subconscious a clear picture of the end result as though it is already accomplished. If the achievement is too big for the mind to consider all at once, try describing your goal in increments to make it achievable in your own mind.

5. No Comparisons: Comparing yourself to others is ineffective. The technique of affirming is a personal process. Your measurement of growth is based on yourself. So affirming that you will be number one suggests comparison and may need rewording so that it is your goal.

6. Action Words: Use terms that describe and trigger action pictures, such as "easily, quickly, thrive on, energetically, confidently," in your affirmations.

7. Emotion Words: These are of critical importance. The more positive emotion you feel when picturing your accomplished goal, the faster your affirmation will work for you. It has also been suggested that physical pictures supporting the affirmation help with the emotion and visualization.

8. Accuracy: If an affirmation is written in general terms, the picture may be too vague, and it gives you too many escape routes. For example; if your goal is to exercise regularly, what kind of exercise? Is it jogging, walking, swimming, aerobics, or something else? How regularly? Three times a week? If so, on what days? What time of day and for how long? This is how accurate your affirmations must be.

9. Balance: Set goals, and write affirmations in all areas of your life. You never know if a goal around mental health or physical health can somehow create the synchronicity of the financial goal.

10. Realistic: After you have written your affirmation, close your eyes and picture it. Can you see yourself there? You need to be able to see it, visualize it, and imagine it. So if you want the 2.5 million dollar house in a warm destination, try the $300.0K house first and sell it profitability to then keep moving up the housing market to the $2.5 million dollar property.

11. Confidential: Most of your personal affirmations need not be shared. Share your affirmations only with those you are certain will support and help you achieve them. These are personal and do not need judgement by those that may want you to play small with your dreams and goals. Research seems to support that people who use affirmations successfully manage to bypass their conscious mind so it doesn't reject the new thought. The subconscious mind gets programmed with repetition. So, if you keep at affirmations, eventually the awkwardness stops. These people also keep up with the process and are mindful of negative self-chatter, as well as the synchronicity of events building to our accomplishing our goals.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Choose-Your-Affirmations&id=8969294

The Perils Of Comparison (By Tim Connor)

I can't tell you how many people I have met during my world travels when only after a few minutes of conversation they started comparing themselves to someone or something else. A competitor, a celebrity, a fellow employee or even someone they didn't even know.

Why do we need personal validation by comparison? Why do we need to feel better or worthier than others? And why can't we accept who we are, what we have accomplished, our flaws and mistakes, our failures and disappointments without the ego's need to compare and look better than others?

As a global speaker for many years I have observed this trait is especially true of many people in my profession, but believe me - we are not unique. I can't tell you how many business people I have met who have to tell some story about who they are better than, smarter than and/or more accomplished than others they know and even those they don't know in some way.

Trust me - you don't have to be the smartest, best looking, wealthiest or most famous person in the room to feel good about yourself. So why are so many people stuck in this comparison mode whether subtly or overtly "in your face"? 

Not to brag here (that is not my intent) but I want to make a simple statement - during my career as an international bestselling author (over 80 books) and a global speaker (25 countries) my intent and goal was never fame and let me state that I have been very successful in achieving this goal. Go ahead laugh.

Life is not about what others think of you or you think of others. And if it is - trust me you will never find contentment, inner peace or happiness because there will always be someone out there smarter, better and wealthier etc. than you in some way - always!

Have you ever noticed that when people generally compare themselves to others they either use someone less successful or someone who they can criticize whether this person deserves it or not?

I can also tell you that many of my heroes - to mention just a few - Og Mandino, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, Jesus, Winston Churchill, Mother Teresa and Charlie Tremendous Jones - comparison was not in their DNA.

What they all had in common was the humility and the desire to contribute in their own special way to the value of humanity and life in general.

Let me ask you - have you ever compared yourself to others to try and convince yourself that you were better in some way or just to make yourself feel OK about yourself? Come on - be honest here.

Why do we need to compare? Is it insecurity, an overcharged ego, the need for approval, the desire to please or simply the fact that we can't admit that we all have flaws and/or weaknesses in our thoughts, actions, decisions and behaviors in some way?

I challenge you for the next couple of weeks as you talk with others to observe their comparisons or your own during conversations and then ask yourself - why? Why do I need to do this? Why do they need to do this? Try it you will be amazed at how frequently we are all guilty of this simple yet rather stupid trait. Stupid you say Tim? Yep, cause what do you think you really accomplish with all of these comparisons?

More or less respect? More or less fame? More or less self-satisfaction? More or less something_______? Sorry!

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Perils-Of-Comparison&id=9865687

Comparison Is the Thief of All Happiness (By Gina DeNicola)

My morning ritual is pretty much the same when I'm home, the only thing that will vary is whether or not the bed gets made. I wake up, brush my teeth, wash my face, get dressed, and make coffee. Once the coffee is finished, depending on the weather, I will either sit on the couch or my balcony and catch up on what happened overnight. This morning was no different, except I didn't get far into Facebook when a dear friend's status update flashed on my screen; "Comparison is the thief of all happiness #gospel #doyou #themaskyoulivein". It instantly got my wheels turning before I even finished my cup of coffee.

My friend is an amazing singer/songwriter, and I'm not sure if this phrase is the basis of a song or not, but as I sat on my balcony this morning and watched all the people going to work, I thought to myself I was so guilty of this phase. If you read my blog or if you know me personally, you know I have some major body image issues, I'm working on them, but it is a daily battle. I have spent a lifetime of comparing myself to friends, family, strangers and finally at 49 I had enough.

Comparison is the thief of all happiness. Because of comparison I never felt pretty enough, skinny enough, funny enough and because I spent all those years comparing myself to people who I thought were beautiful, funny and thin, I had no idea I was stealing from myself years of confidence and security. I look at pictures of the younger me, and I see an entirely different person. I see a beautiful human, she was smart, she was fun, she was funny, but she was afraid. When I was younger, I didn't see what the older version of me saw; I was scared to be myself because I didn't think I was any of those things.

Comparison is the thief of all happiness. When you spend years comparing yourself to other people, you never feel good enough; you never feel like you deserve anything, and you will always settle for the crumbs from the table of the people you are comparing yourself to.

Comparison is the thief of all happiness. Comparison made me settle in life instead of being the true me. Because I settled, I ended up being in a long term relationship with a married man. I never felt confident enough to realize I deserved more. It took an amazingly strong confident man to force me into realizing I deserved more and I now get to experience the feeling of love and acceptance every day.

Comparison is the thief of all happiness. Comparison stops me from wearing things I think are beautiful or comfortable or colorful. I always feel to fat or too old so instead, I wear a lot of black things that aren't sleeveless, and I'm always hot and grumpy. That is until this weekend when I didn't care anymore. I wore, out in public, a sleeveless shirt. It was a huge step for me, and I was comfortable and most importantly I was happy.

Comparison is the thief of all happiness. I started going grey when I was 24 years old. I come from a family that goes grey early, and they all look beautiful with their natural grey hair. However, because of my lifetime of comparison, I started coloring my hair at 24 because all the 24-year-olds around me had long beautiful brown or blonde hair. I stopped coloring my hair last year, and it was the most freeing thing I have ever done.

As I near my fifties and leave my 20's, 30's, and 40's behind I am taking control of my happiness. It happened practically overnight that the word Confidence replaced the word Comparison, and I have surrounded myself with people who confirm my feelings. I am a beautiful 49-year-old woman, I am curvy, I have short, grey hair, I have a nontraditional job and most of all I am happy.

My point is this, once you stop comparing you gain your confidence back which gets you your happiness back. So ditch #themaskyoulivein and #doyou. You are beautiful, you are smart, you are funny. There is only one of you and it's perfect.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Comparison-Is-the-Thief-of-All-Happiness&id=9395627

7 Attitudes You Need To Give Up To Experience Self-Love

Self-love was something I thought I would obtain someday in the future when everything in my life was going the way I wanted it to. Soon I realized I was never going to experience self-love with that mentality because there was always something in the future to chase. It turns out love works the other way around. Life seems to work out when you have self-love first. 

Below is a list of potential blocks you may have put up against self-love and how to remove them.

1. Un-forgiveness

Forgiveness is the key that opens the box containing everything you've ever wanted. Are you still beating yourself up for the things that happened when you were in first grade? If so, it’s time to forgive. How do you forgive, you may be asking? You release the judgements you made about yourself and the situation (see number 5 below). It really is that easy. We love to make things seem complicated so we don’t do them. 

2. Fear

Fear can be sneaky at times because it takes many forms, such as jealousy, anxiety, anger, and impatience. How do you move through this? You choose love instead. Every moment of every day provides you with an opportunity to perceive a situation differently. You are always choosing between fear and love. That’s it. Set the intention to see yourself as loving and powerful, and the unloving fearful thoughts will fall away.   

3. Comparisons

Stop comparing yourself to how you were five years, five days, or five minutes ago. Comparisons keep you in a fearful state of mind and out of the present moment. When you compare yourself, you are giving away your power because all your power is in this instant, not in the past or the future.   

4. Negative Self-Talk

Every day I make a conscious effort to be aware of all the thoughts I let roll around in my head. When I first started doing this exercise, I immediately noticed the amount of negative self-talk I was allowing. I was shocked because I always considered myself to be a “positive” person. Once I noticed how much I beat myself up for every little thing, I decided I was going to replace every negative thought with an uplifting thought instead. Eventually, the positive thoughts became habit. 

5. Judgements Towards Yourself

Unforgiving thoughts are judgements about yourself you are unwilling to question. For example, “I am a horrible unlovable person because I ate that piece of cake." That is a judgement, and my guess is that it makes you feel like crap. It definitely doesn’t come from a place of love and therefore must be released. 

6. Expectations

Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself, and set expectations for how things should go? This again, takes you right out of the present moment. What I learned over the years is that I will be fine no matter what happens because everything happens for me, not to me. I will always be exactly where I am supposed to be, so I will be at peace no matter what the outcome of the situation is. 

7. The Belief You Are Just A Body 

The truth is, you are not a body -- you just have one. Saying that you will love yourself more when you are skinnier (or experience any other body change) is just a way to block the infinite amount of love that is already present within you. Trust me, I spent many years of my life chasing skinny. What I learned for sure is that skinny does not, and never will, equal happy. Self-love comes from seeing yourself as you truly are. When you truly see yourself, the beauty that emanates from you is magnetizing. There will be no doubt in your mind that this has nothing to do with your physical body.  

Now that you are aware of these possible blocks in your life, do you want to know how to remove all of them at once? Turns out it’s extremely simple; you just set the intention to live in the present moment. That means stop judging and attacking yourself based on your past fearful experiences. Forgiveness is the name of the game. You will then feel and experience something completely new in this moment. That feeling is deep self-love. Enjoy it. 

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7784/7-attitudes-you-need-to-give-up-to-experience-self-love.html