5 Simple Hacks To Reclaim Your Focus



I love the Internet.

It has democratized knowledge and information across the globe.

It has decentralized resources and power monopolized by corporations and governments.

It has destroyed the geographical boundaries of people's connection.

Massive benefits have been generated by the advent of the Internet.

However, the dawn of the information age has also brought us immense problems to humanity.

One of the most devastating examples is that it has killed most people's ability to focus.

Nowadays, everyone expects an instant reply once a WhatsApp message is read.

Everyone wants to gain the most amounts of likes in their Facebook and Instagram posts.

Everyone wants to get insider secrets of any kinds of "How To Solve My XYZ Problem" right now.

Immediate gratification has somehow become our societal standard, while most of us forget the truth that any rewards worth reaping require massive preparation and sowing.

Anyway, it's time to regain our focus. Here are 5 quick hacks you can use today to prevent yourself turning into an A.D.D. zombie.

1. Cut Off Your Hands If You Multitask Again

Okay, I am just kidding, don't cut your hands.

But hey, you must NOT multi-task from now on because it's almost always the root cause of losing focus.

We are cognitively incapable of multitasking and this very act of switching tasks is lowering your IQ, according to a report from CNN.

Use the power of full engagement to whatever you do and gain the pleasure of extreme productivity.

2. Prevent Distractions In Advance

Did people die back in the days when they didn't have cell phones?

Probably, especially when they had a heart attack and bystanders couldn't find a telephone booth for ambulance help.

The point is, the world is NOT going to explode if you don't use your mobile phones for a day.

Switch your phone into airplane mode when you need to work.

Stop replying to text messages and checking the updates of your social media accounts when you're having a date.

Avoid listening to music in your headphones while you're at a friend's dinner party and start talking and socializing with real people.

3. Dominate Your Goals In Chunks Of Blocked Time

Being clear about what you set out to do gets half the job done, even before you start it.

By meandering about the job and not able to clearly define what you are going to do, you lose focus midway and you may leave the job half done.

So block out specific times throughout the day where you'll do NOTHING BUT the most important one that's going to move you towards your big goals.

While we have different productive hours, it's generally a better idea to tackle the most difficult tasks first thing in your work day as that's when you have the most willpower, energy and focus.

4. Prioritize Your Day The Night Before

Never go to sleep without laying out the exact game plan for tomorrow.

Extreme productivity starts the moment you wake up and automatically follow the plan without much extra thoughts.

So set out your focus strategies the night before, prioritize the most important ones to complete first, and then just finish them one by one the next day.

5. Take Breaks & Exercise

If you are not making much progress in your current task, walking away from it and coming back to it later can sometimes increase your productivity and get it done.

Instead of keep banging your head against the wall, take a quick 15-20 mins break, rejuvenate yourself with fresh fruits and lemon water, take a walk in the nature if you want, and then come back to it with a refreshed perspective.

Also, make exercise a mandatory part of your daily routine. It increases the blood flow to your brain, sets you in a positive mood and helps you stay focused for the day ahead.

With these 5 simple hacks, you can easily reclaim your focus and get all the heavy lifting done today!


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3 Easy Tips To Sleep Better For More Time & Energy



To massively increase our productivity, we need to focus on our attention and energy management.

So if you're trying to study a bunch of old school time management techniques, it's likely that you're attacking on the wrong subject. There's no point to learn how to set up a schedule when you don't have the energy as the foundation to invest in it.

Yes, you may really want to start exercising and get rid of your belly fat.

Yes, you may really want to learn a new language before you visit Japan 4 months later.

Yes, you may really want to execute that million dollar business plan when you see there's satisfied need in the market.

Unfortunately, you don't have the energy to do so.

You tell yourself you don't have the time to do so.

You tell yourself that you are too busy right now and you will do it later, which means never.

You even tell yourself maybe that idea isn't worth to pursue because someone else probably have already done it.

The point is, if you don't fix your energy problem, if you don't increase your vitality, if you don't elevate the effectiveness of your body functioning, you won't be able to do anything.

Is there a super easy yet overlooked way that you can fix your energy level?

You bet.

The fastest way to 10x your energy level is to improve your sleeping quality. Let's quickly take a look at a couple of tips on how to enhance your sleep and increase your productivity

Sleep Hack #1 Use A Daylight Lamp

One of the best things you can possibly do for your energy levels is to invest in a daylight lamp.

This is a lamp that will get brighter slowly in the morning and that has a wavelength more similar to that produced by the sun.

The brain interprets this as a sunrise and it helps you to slowly come around.

When you wake up, the room is bright and you feel much less groggy. It's a million times better than being startled awake by a loud noise in a pitch black room!

Sleep Hack #2 Have A Comfortable Shower Before You Sleep

When is the perfect time to wash your body? Right before bed.

For bonus tip, try to alternate the temperature between cold and warm water.

Cold water not only boosts your testosterone level (which is great for men), it also helps circulate your blood and regulate your internal temperature.

On the other hand, warm water is a nice relaxant for you to chill out and let the sore muscles release tension. When your body is relaxed, you can drift off into a deeper sleep later.

Sleep Hack #3 Time Out For 30 Mins Before Bed

Before bed, take half an hour out in order to unwind. During this period, make sure you don't look at any screens.

Smartphones, computers and TV screens emits blue lights which stimulate the brain to produce cortisol, thereby keeping us awake and preventing us from sleeping.

At the same time, our phones and computers stress us a lot.

When we look at them, it causes us to think of work or to get excited by whatever games, shows, gossips, chit chats you have with your friends.

What to do during those 30 mins?

Well, I recommend investing that short period into your self-development.

Read a good book.

Journal down your big wins of the day.

Prepare the game plan for tomorrow.

Calm your mind, practice gratitude, get into bed and get ready to crush another awesome day!


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3 Simple Ways To Automate Your Lifestyle


You have heard of the term "automating your business" right?

This phrase basically means that as a business owner, you should set up systems to handle certain repeatable tasks so that you have more time and resources to handle other higher priorities.

Of course, you want to be smart with the investment. The money you put in automation should generate more return of investment (tangible or intangible) in the future for both of you and your business.

Anyhow, the whole idea revolves around the goal of increasing your productivity and scaling your output units.

An obvious example is how the electronics companies or old factories in the past used an automated assembly line to create products rather than doing it by hand.

This saves countless man-hours and means in theory that you can produce a hundred times more of products to sell and scale up your business growth ten times faster.

Have you ever considered using the same concept in your personal life to double, triple or even quadruple your free time?

Here are 3 simple ways on how you can do so:

Tip #1 Shop Online

Shopping online and setting up standing orders is a great way to save time that you would otherwise spend commuting to shopping malls, finding items you want, waiting in queues, and carrying the heavy stuff back home.

At the very least, you should use this for your regular grocery purchases so that you can get a weekly shop delivered directly to your door every day without leaving home at all.

Many people spend an average of 45 minutes per day buying fresh food and groceries. This switch to online shopping can save you 3-5 hours a week!

You can also set up standing orders for gifts.

Want to make sure your spouse gets sent flowers every year on your anniversary? Automate online!

How about restocking your shaving products every month? Automate online!

Or want to make sure the shops have the right size of the jeans and avoid queueing for fitting rooms in your favorite brand? Automate online!

There are plenty of examples of online shopping that can save you a ton of hunting and shopping.

Tip #2 Robotic Vacuum Cleaners

If you can't afford a cleaner, then consider hiring a robotic vacuum cleaner.

These little cute gadgets will move around your home all on their own making sure to reach every small patch of floor to vacuum up crumbs, dust, dirt and anything else that gets on your carpet or wooden floor.

You can also get robotic lawn mowers that do the same job outside the garden.

Yes, they may not guarantee 100% cleanliness. But you're saving a few hours every weekend so you can do more fun things you want!

Tip #3 Cooking

In the kitchen there are tons of things that can save you time.

A food processor for instance can automate the peeling process for you.

Or if you want an even more automated service, consider signing up to a company or farm that delivers healthy, organic, fresh meals to your door every day.

They exist online and they are there to save you hours while improving your health and energy levels, totally no brainer.

Do you feel much less stressful when you automate your life with just these 3 tips?

I do and I recommend you choosing one and starting improving your lifestyle this weekend.


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The Art of Stress Management

How can you ensure complete success in managing chronic stress?

First, you have to become familiar with the actual stressors that are causing you to feel chronically stressed on a daily basis. This can be accomplished through regular journaling.

Second, you have to identify the negative beliefs and values that you may have. These beliefs and values may be stopping you from successfully managing your stress. This can be done through consistent self-analysis.

Third, you also have to accept the fact that not everything can be done in one day or one week. Stress management is actually a lifelong endeavor which will help create better beliefs, behaviors and thought patterns.

Today's discussion will center on some additional guidelines which you can also use to improve your handling of stress management. You can find a few more essential guidelines below:

1. Practice One or Practice Them All - The fact of the matter is that there is no "perfect formula" for relieving stress. I personally believe that stress dissipates more quickly through deep tissue massage because I really feel relaxed and happy after a good massage. But that's just me; deep tissue massage may not be as effective for you.

This is why it's so important for people to seek out different methods of stress management.

Do not limit yourself to only one or two techniques. If something doesn't work for you, it doesn't mean that you do not have the capacity to manage your stress. It just means that you haven't found the right combination of techniques to bring you to your desired level of relaxation and happiness.

2. Assemble Your Army, One by One - Managing stress is literally a battle against bad habits and a myriad of stressors. What do you need to succeed in any battle?

Your personal anti-stress army, of course!

This personal army of yours will be composed of different relaxation techniques and behavioral modifications which you will learn as you progress with your stress management efforts.

The techniques which you will be using must fit the genetics of your lifestyle and way of life. If a technique just doesn't fit your lifestyle, it won't work. Learn to adjust and discard techniques that do not conform to what you feel is the right way to remedy stress in your life.

3. Keep Practicing! - Like I've said before, stress management is essentially a collection of different skills that will enable you to effectively combat stress before it makes you permanently sick. If you want full mastery of a specific skill, you must be willing to practice it until it becomes second nature.

This guideline may seem easy in comparison to my other reminders but in reality, it's one of the most challenging to carry out. Why? Because old habits die hard. For example, it can be very difficult for a person to listen more during an argument because the old habit was to outdo the other person in a screaming match.

Apart from learning new skills, effective stress management will also require you to change your attitudes and behaviors toward your stressors.

4. Don't Forget "Me" Time - In order to carry out your plans to relieve stress, you have to create space in your daily schedule for stress management. Now, I know that many stressed individuals feel that there isn't enough time in a whole day for everything that needs to be done.

However, I would like to point out that the statement "I wish there were two more hours in my day" is more of a state of mind than reality. The reality is that 12-18 hours of waking time is sufficient for most groups of tasks. There's also enough time for relaxation within this timeframe.

If you cannot fit everything that you need to do within this amount of time that simply means that you have poor time management skills. Evaluate how much time you spend on your different activities and try to create more balance within your day.

If you cannot fit everything that you need to do within this amount of time that simply means that there is opportunity for you to get support from a coach on how to create more balance in your life.

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3 Bad Habits That Are Killing Your Energy



As I've always emphasized, it's not about time management, it's about attention and energy management.

Without energy, nothing gets done.

Your ideas won't be turned into reality. Your passion won't be translated into career. Your genius wisdom won't be passed along to your students, apprentices or mentees.

Want to drastically boost your energy levels?

One of the most effective ways to regain your energy is to first look at the things in your life that are draining your energy right now and get rid of them.

Rather than discovering another innovative way to improve your energy, you can eliminate certain things that are sucking your energy away.

In other words, you are improving your energy by doing less and not by doing more. This is so much easier to begin with especially when your energy is so low while taking on new challenges can be exhausting.

Here are the top 3 bad habits that you must break as soon as possible to regain your energy.

#1 Tea and Coffee

If you use caffeine to power you through the day, then this is something you should start to strategically cut down.

While caffeine gives you a quick energy boost, it's severely hampering your energy levels in the long-term. If you take too much throughout the day, you'll find it difficult to get into sleep and get up in the morning. It's actually disrupting your biological cycle.

When you drink caffeine, it emulates the molecule 'adenosine' in the brain. This is a molecule that builds up over the day and which will make us feel tired and groggy later on.

However, since caffeine emulates adenosine, it can 'plug' the adenosine receptors thereby rendering it inert. And that's why we have an artificial feeling of instant energy and drive.

Over time, this leads to tolerance and dependence. The brain produces more adenosine receptors to counteract the perceived lack of adenosine and as such you need more caffeine to feel normal.

This leads to withdrawal and that withdrawal is one of the things making you feel so lethargic, sluggish and inactive in the morning!

#2 Smoking

Nicotine is a stimulant and is even used as a nootropic.

But when you smoke, you also inhale a huge amount of harmful gasses which can severely damage your lung capacity. Eventually, this can lead to a greatly impaired VO2 Max which makes it hard to simply move around without coughing.

For starters, try using vaporizers to break the habit. It's going to do so much good to your health, other people's health and the environmental health!

#3 Procrastination

Procrastination wastes your valuable time without giving you the 'permission' you need to properly rest.

Worst still, when you procrastinate until the last-minute late at night, you are in the worst mental condition to tackle the hard work you have avoided all day to engage with, which will likely lead to poor performance.

Burning the midnight oil does prove that you have great "work ethic" at all, it only tells people that you are bad with prioritization.

From now on, have an attitude of either being 'off' or 'on' for whatever you do.

Walk or sit - don't wobble.

In other words, when you notice your productivity starting to wane, embrace it and use it as a chance to properly recharge so you'll have more energy to get up and go later.


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Why Habits Are So Hard To Break



Before I answer that for you, I have a favor to ask.

Can you please try NOT to think of a purple elephant?

Seriously, do NOT think of a purple elephant.

Thinking of a purple elephant is bad. Thinking of a purple elephant is unethical. Thinking of a purple elephant is immoral.

Do NOT do it. Deal?

Hey, why are you STILL thinking of a purple elephant? Haven't I told you NOT to think of a purple elephant, why are you still doing so?

Okay, fun intended.

The whole point of this imaginative experiment is to demonstrate that our brain is incapable of NOT thinking of something. It always needs a point of focus in order to direct attention.

Therefore, when you try to tell yourself to "stop ABC habits", you will almost always fail.

Habits can NOT be stopped by avoiding them. The more you invest thoughts about the "Don'ts", the scarier it feels because you don't seem like to be able to control it.

Have you heard of this psychological problem called The Hot-Cold Empathy Gap?

Basically, it's a cognitive bias in which people underestimate the influences of visceral drives (hunger, thirst, sexual arousal, drug cravings etc.) on their own attitudes, preferences and behaviors.

Whenever we are affected in such "hot emotional state", these driving forces will have an overwhelming effect on our decision-making and behaviors. We'll become more "out of control" and very likely act impulsively in the heat of the moment, instead of staying on path of our original bigger long-term goals.

That's why it's hard to calm someone down when they're pointing knives and guns to you.

That's why it's hard to persuade your friend to leave a toxic relationship when he or she is madly in love.

That's why it's hard to stop food, sugar, alcohol or smoking cravings at night after a long day of exhausting work.

Therefore, it's extremely hard to predict how we're going to act when our cravings suddenly heat, because by then we will already be in an entirely different state of mind to behave rationally.

Remember, logic almost always lose the battle with our emotions.

Humans are more of emotional beings than rational beings. We rarely can logically talk ourselves out of situations when we feel emotionally compelled to do certain things.

Most of the time, we do things because we are rewarded by experiencing certain pleasant feelings or avoiding certain painful feelings, and we rationalize that behavior later on with logic.

That's why when a bad habit is set, it's almost impossible to change that behavior at the heat of the moment even though we know it's harmful to us.


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Why Getting Into Flow Will Change Your Life

If you are the kind of person who appreciates the beauty of personal development and understands the principle of kaizen, you surely will agree that we all can change our lives for the better.

While there's a ton of techniques, hacks, strategies or methods that help you get what you want, no results can ever be delivered without taking massive imperfect action.


Action changes all. Action cures all. Every status quo stays the same until some kind of actions are initiated.

If you want to change your life, then you must do something.

Decide what you want to change and how you can make it happen. Set a goal and make a plan. The steps you take towards reaching your goal should include some kind of challenges to motivate and inspire you.

Getting in the flow happens when you are undertaking a task that fully immerses you.

When you're in the flow state, you are working without thinking of anything else; even the end goal.

You are focused, you are driven and you are productive. Your energy levels are high, you are self-motivated and inspired.

Creativity is sparked when working in the zone and it is the state of peak productivity for many creators, producers, artists, writers and inventors.

Of course, it's useful for sport, education and in the workplace too. Flow state is extremely helpful to increase your creativity and skill levels.

In short, flow state brings you the following benefits:

#1 A Surge Of Productivity

If you've been a seasoned procrastinator or someone who finds task completion difficult, then utilizing the flow state can make a huge difference to your productivity.

Within flow, you are working at your best ability you can. Absorbed by the task at hand, time will fly by without you having an awareness of it.

#2 Saves A Ton Of Time

Working at peak achievement will help you complete tasks 10 times faster and saves you a ton of time.

You work faster without the actual awareness of the passage of time due to the fact that you are totally immersed in the activity.

You are not aware of yourself, doubts or fears. There is no room for procrastination or lack of focus. The flow state is one of positivity and energy.

#3 Maximum Achievement

While in the zone, you are able to tap into your inner resources such as problem solving skills, creativity and intuitive insights.

Resources that may have been previously blocked or hidden are now fully unleashed. Without your self-awareness, there are no self-defeating or negative emotions or behaviors.

#4 Lower Stress

Reduced stress levels lead to improved vitality, better sleep, and better well-being. While you are in the zone, you feel energized and happier which releases tension.

Also, when you are in the flow, your immune system will release more neurochemicals and you will have a better health as a result.

Positive psychology is an area of study aimed at helping people changes their lives for the better. The flow state is one aspect of this area that anyone can use.

There are no negative aspects or side effects of getting into the flow, especially on a regular basis. It almost only generates a positive effect on your life.

So why don't you also tap into this secret power of extreme productivity?


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How To Identify Your Habits In 3 Easy Steps

As I mentioned before, all habits can be dissected into 3 parts: Cue, Habit Routine, and Rewards

So if you want to expose your bad habits so you know the exact behavioral pathway to change, here are the 3 simple steps you can use today.

Step 1: Log The Cue In A Journal

Janet L. Wolfe, PhD, a clinical psychologist in New York City and author of <What to Do When He Has a Headache> said that if you "... put down the antecedents, the emotions surrounding the knuckle cracking [i.e. bad habit] and what goes through your head when you crack your knuckles [i.e.do the bad habit]... This will make your bad habit more conscious."

So the first step is to make a record about your bad habits in a journal for at least 7 days.

In doing so, you'll discover the hidden triggers of the bad behavior, the underlying reasons behind, and the repeated patterns that occur again and again.

Step 2: Expose Your Habit Routine In The Light

A habit routine is the exact behavioral process you perform after you right the Cue so as to obtain the Reward.

These are the unhealthy actions, the cravings, the detrimental activities that you unconsciously do to satisfy temporary needs while harming your future well-being.

When you figure out what exactly it is you're doing when the bad habit is in progress, you'll be able to come up with strategies to break the automatic step-by-steps down to change your behavior.

Step 3: Detect The Reward

Whatever we do (good or bad habits), we're almost always satisfying certain human needs.

American Psychologist Henry Murray had published in Explorations in Personality in 1938 about a theory of personality that was organized in terms of motives, presses and needs. He suggested that our personalities are a reflection of behaviors controlled by needs.

So Murray found that there are 27 psychogenic needs (in 6 categories) human universally have. The following list is very useful to see what needs your bad habits are satisfying you:

Category 1: Ambition needs

  1. Achievement - To accomplish difficult tasks, overcoming obstacles and achieving expertise.
  2. Exhibition - To impress others through one's actions and words, even if what is said or done is shocking.
  3. Recognition - To show achievements to others and gain recognition for these.

Category 2: Materialistic needs

  1. Acquisition - To acquire things.
  2. Retention - To keep things that have been acquired.
  3. Order - To make things clean, neat and tidy.
  4. Construction - To make and build things.

Category 3: Power needs

  1. Abasement - To surrender and submit to others, accept blame and punishment. To enjoy pain and misfortune.
  2. Aggression - To forcefully overcome an opponent, controlling, taking revenge or punishing them.
  3. Autonomy - To break free from constraints, resisting coercion and dominating authority. To be irresponsible and independent.
  4. Blame avoidance - To not be blamed for things done.
  5. Contrariance - To oppose the attempted persuasion of others.
  6. Deference - To admire a superior person, praising them and yielding to them and following their rules.
  7. Dominance - To control one's environment, controlling other people through command or subtle persuasion.
  8. Harm avoidance - To escape or avoid pain, injury and death.
  9. Infavoidance - To avoid being humiliated or embarrassed.

Category 4: Status defense needs

  1. Counteraction - To make up for failure by trying again, pridefully seeking to overcome obstacles.
  2. Defendance - To defend oneself against attack or blame, hiding any failure of the self.
  3. Infavoidance - To avoid being humiliated or embarrassed.

Category 5: Affection needs

  1. Affiliation - To be close and loyal to another person, pleasing them and winning their friendship and attention.
  2. Nurturance - To help the helpless, feeding them and keeping them from danger.
  3. Play - To have fun, laugh and relax, enjoying oneself.
  4. Rejection - To separate oneself from a negatively viewed object or person, excluding or abandoning it.
  5. Sex - To form relationship that lead to sexual intercourse.
  6. Succourance - To have one's needs satisfied by someone or something. Includes being loved, nursed, helped, forgiven and consoled.

Category 6: Information needs

  1. Cognizance - To seek knowledge and ask questions about things in order to understand.
  2. Exposition - To provide information educate others.

While I believe there are usually defects or flaws in any psychological explanatory models, there's no need to waste time debating the imperfections and disregard the usefulness of it.

So I suggest you take use this 27 needs model as a reference to see what your bad habits are satisfying after you've logged your cues and dissected your bad habit routine.

Take action and use these 3-steps process to pull out your bad habits today!

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How Do You Know When You're In Flow?



If you've ever found yourself in a super focused zone, that means you've experienced the flow state.

This surreal mental state was coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a Hungarian positive psychologist. His research found that people felt happier and more fulfilled while undertaking activities that had intrinsic value, got absorbed into them and that were adequately challenging to them.

In his bestselling book <Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience>, Mihaly identifies certain characteristics you'll experience when you're experiencing the flow state.

Here are the 6 common ones:

Phenomenon #1 Lack of Self Awareness

There is no room for thinking about your performance or doubting your abilities.

Athletes and peak performers push through discomfort to achieve their goal when they're in the flow. Their concentration is totally on the process.

This holds true for any activities, physical or mental, undertaken in the flow state.

The process is all, not the end goal.

Phenomenon #2 Super Focus and Concentration

You'll find that you're totally immersed in the task at hand with no room for thoughts, doubts, self-judgements, criticisms, fears or anything else.

This is because you are enjoying the challenges of the task and you're stimulating your entire being to tackle it. You feel self-motivated to reach the completion.

Phenomenon #3 No Blockages

By totally immersing yourself in the task and not thinking of anything else, there will be no self-doubt, fear, stress or anxiety.

While in the zone there are no negative emotions or states. All blocks to peak performance are removed. Being in the flow state is a positive, energized, beneficial, uplifting and powerful state.

Phenomenon #4 Insane Productivity

Tasks are completed half the time you normally need because your total absorption in what you are doing will double or even triple your productivity.

There is no breaks or stops to think about the process. You just go do it fearlessly and it seems to the outside world that you're dominating the work with not much effort.

Phenomenon #5 Time Flies

Time flies when you're having fun and this is absolutely true when you're being in the zone.

While you are in the flow state, you are not aware of the passing of time as you're totally sucked into another reality of peak creativity, productivity and activity.

You seem to be teleported to another dimension and it's hard for others to resist wondering where you have mentally gone.

Phenomenon #6 Dominating Energy

While in the flow state, you'll feel very positive and full of energy. You will be unstoppable like a warrior to crush through tasks after tasks and work relentlessly until the mission is accomplished.

If you want to feel happier and more fulfilled, then getting yourself into the zone and working in the flow state is definitely something you should train yourself to get into every day.

It doesn't have to be a full day of immersion. If all you can do it to get into the flow for 1-2 hours a day, you'll have already gained another few hours because of your extra productivity.

Recognize these 6 phenomena and have a mini celebration whenever you realize you've just been in a flow state!

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Ten Ways to Free Up the Time You Need To Do More Things You Want



1. Start tomorrow by preparing today

Make a "to-do" list every day. You'll save time by having the tasks you need to do in front of you first thing in the morning so that you can get right to work. Once this habit is in place, you'll find you accomplish more in less time than you did before.

2. Get organized

Don't spend time spinning your wheels searching for things you need. Have a place for everything and everything it its place. Ask for help to get organized if you have limited space, or need to learn how to organize a new area- like a home office.

3. Know your priorities

It's easy to get caught up in low priority tasks that won't help you achieve your goals. (Like a fun new app on your phone). Make the decision about these things early and stick to your plan.

4. Learn to make quick and smarter decisions

Agonizing over things stalls your progress. You'll need to have all the facts first but, once you do, make the decision.

5. Employ snippets of time

Many things can be done in short periods of time. Use a timer or alarm to signal your time to stop so that you don't have to watch the clock.

6. Get off lists

Junk mail is easy to deal with--just toss it. The same is true with junk email and texts. Learn to recognize junk and just toss it. Ask to be removed from lists so that you don't even have to take the time to delete the messages. Ask all telemarketers to put you on the "Do Not Call" list and you'll see a significant reduction of phone interruptions in a very short time. This has worked well for me.

7. Enlist your family and friends

Your family can help you get more time by doing a few more chores for you. Use this extra time wisely or you'll kill the willingness. Offer rewards for thank-yous and incentives. Maybe swap favors with a friend. This will create more time for the family to have more fun together too!

8. Put some stuff on hold or just say no

Learn to say no to requests for your time or, at least, try to postpone the task to a later date. Not only does this free up your time, it also clears your mind to concentrate on your goals. Make sure you say it politely: "I would like to help you, but I'm not available to do that right now."

9. Limit your Internet use

The Internet is an incredible tool but limit your surfing to the sites that will help you achieve specific goals. If you just can't live without random surfing, use that kitchen timer to set some limits. It's OK to play games and use social media- just use wise limits.

10. Turn off the TV more

Eliminating just a few shows a week can hand you several hours that you can use to build your dreams. Make a viewing schedule of your favorites and stick to it and never watch anything that really doesn't hold your attention. Same goes for gaming. Do the things you love; just be mindful of the time you are using.

So there you go- now what are you going to do with your new free time? Family Time? Fun? Hobbies? Home business? Whatever you choose- have fun doing it!


http://ezinearticles.com/?Ten-Ways-to-Free-Up-the-Time-You-Need-To-Do-More-Things-You-Want&id=9543691

Finding Time Can Mean Saying No, Even When You're Scared to Death!



Finding time might begin for you, today, with finding the courage to say No. Maybe your schedule and To Do List are jam-packed, and adding one more thing will throw everything else out-of-whack. But saying no to a request (or a demand) for your time can present challenges.

Sometimes, refusing to engage in low-priority activities and commitments is quite easy, isn't it? You're direct and you set limits clearly. Furthermore, the results speak for themselves. You exercise positive control over much of your day.

But every so often, the refusal may get caught in your throat. Your chest tightens, and... you're just scared to death to say no.

How do you handle situations like this when they arise in your life now? Try a quick quiz to broaden your understanding of how you approach stressful demands. Note how often you resort to each of these actions, using "0" for "never" and 5 for "always":

"When I feel scared to death to say No, I: 
_____ Push my misgivings aside and charge blindly ahead.

_____ Mutter about how impossible the other person is.

_____ Criticize myself for feeling so apprehensive.

_____ Hint that my refusal is the other person's fault.

_____ Postpone the big talk until the ideal time, like never."

If your score is 0-5, saying No isn't much of a problem for you - unless you've figured out yet another self-defeating stratagem to avoid the issue!

But what if your score is higher? In that case, your avoidance of saying No probably hurts you even more than you comprehend. Anger simmers, and relationships and self-esteem become more fragile. Over time, anxieties compound. Paralyzing fear takes quite a toll.

There's another way to handle this impasse. To do so, you must break outworn promises you made to yourself long ago!

Today we'll explore 3 powerful questions to help break the choke hold that fear has on your assertiveness. Ask them as often as you need to. And let the answers bubble up, as you listen to each response. They will be brimming with useful information for you!

Ask yourself: 
1. What is the origin of my fear of saying No? Compassionately see the younger you, who had fewer options than you do now. Think how much stronger and more autonomous you are today! Is there any friendly message that you can offer to the part of you that is stuck in the past?

2. What made silence my safest choice back then? Perhaps your course of action really was the best option you had at the time. At any rate, it can be helpful to understand how your current difficulty is based in approaches that once made a lot of sense to you. You are then much less likely to judge yourself as weak. Also, consider how circumstances have changed.

3. How does this fear of saying No trap me now? Seeing all the ways your old promises to yourself hold you back helps you replace your outworn approach with a more appropriate one.

Does this help as you strive to set meaningful time boundaries and find more time? Stay tuned... in an upcoming post, we'll explore 3 simple strategies for putting these fears behind you!

Are you inspired to find time and increase your effectiveness, efficiency and enjoyment?

http://ezinearticles.com/?Finding-Time-Can-Mean-Saying-No,-Even-When-Youre-Scared-to-Death!&id=9560699

Why You Should Block Your Time

Getting distracted is one of the biggest causes for procrastination, chasing deadlines, being stressful, getting frustrated and not getting things done.

Distractions may come in various forms:

  • Maybe you are interrupted when your colleagues walk over and ask you questions or help
  • Maybe you are distracted when the instant messages, phone calls, social media notifications buzz you
  • Maybe you are sidetracked when there is too much noise around or taking too much time for breaks where your motivation dies off.

Whatever the case maybe, you can use time blocking to rescue your time.

In brief, time blocking means reserving a slot of time in your calendar to dedicate it to a task of your choice.

Why should you do so? Well here are some benefits you can derive from:

Benefit #1 Get Yourself Mentally Prepared

When you have already reserved a time slot on your calendar for certain tasks, you're already mentally aware that that's what you are going to tackle in the day. You don't need to invest further thoughts, energy or time into thinking what you should do next.

Often we get distracted by our own random thoughts of "what can happen" or "what should I do now" and eventually we never take action to get things done. Time blocking prevents you from that.

Benefit #2 Laser Focus

When you have already strategically designed what one thing you're going to do at one particular time, you will have super laser-sharp focus to attack the task at hand.

That's the power of doing one thing popularized by authors like Gary Keller and Jay Papasan. When you use it, you will be able to double, triple if not quadruple your normal productivity.

Benefit #3 Extraordinary Performance

Not only will you be able to accomplish things with lightning speed, you'll get more quality work done when you invest all your mental & physical energy into mastering one thing. Quality and quantity of work just both shoot off the roof.

Benefit #4 Unlimited Motivation For The Next Goal

When you get things done, especially those crucial ones that yield massive progress, you will feel awesome and it raises your self-esteem and confidence.

Apart from that, you'll have another surge of motivation to continue dominating the next thing because you've already activated the power of momentum. You are not in the upward spiral of success that's unstoppable.

So these are just 4 little benefits you can get when you time block your calendar. Isn't that enticing enough to at least give it a try and allow yourself to succeed more, bigger and faster?


http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-You-Should-Block-Your-Time&id=9560987

5 Tips To Block Your Time



As we said before, time blocking is a simple yet powerful tool to save your time, double your productivity and fire up your internal motivation.

Here are 5 secrets on how to block your time effectively so that you can get things done efficiently.

Tip #1 Name It

When you name something, you psychologically become the authority and power of certain things. So when you name your block of time something like "My Golden Gift Hour", or "The Hour of Power", or "My Competition Crushing Advantage", you will be excited to behave productively during that period.

Tip #2 Have All Your Resources Ready

Your blocked time slot must be dedicated to taking action and getting things done instead of wasting it finding your documents getting ready.

So before your golden hours hit, make sure you've already prepared all necessary tools, information, resources for your big task.

Tip #3 Every Block Should Be About 60-90 Minutes

90 minutes is the maximum time most people can focus intensely in a single session without hurting your productivity. It's because we all have an ultradian rhythm where our bodies operate in about 90-minute cycles. This works both during nighttime and day time. (For more scientific research, Google Nathan Kleitman's work on sleep).

So every 60-90 minutes, you must be disciplined enough to take breaks! A 15-20 minutes of complete unwind will be a great idea. So stand up and leave your chair, go outside your office and have a quick walk in nature if possible, do some stretching for your body, drink a glass of 250-500ml of lemon water.

These all will boost your productivity before you start another block of focused work.

Tip #4 Find Out Your Golden Hours

Time blocking techniques work even better when you put that slot of time in a period where you are naturally productive.

So maybe you have an optimum time of the day where you work most effectively. Maybe it's in the morning from 9am to 11am. Or maybe it's at night from 11pm to 1am.

Whatever that is, you should always block out those periods of time for your highest-priority, b-leverage, most profit-generating tasks. When you combine your golden hours with time-blocking methods, you will easily 5 times your ordinary production output units.

Tip #5 Figure Out The Best Location For Work

Everyone has their favorite places to work where they are ultra-productive. That's why you want your focused time block to be in such space and locality.

It can be just your office environment. It can be a non-booked meeting room. It can be an entrepreneurial co-working space. It can be at the comfort of your own home. It can be in a coffee shop in the mall. It can be outside in the park overlooking the lake. It can be a silent study room in the library.

Wherever it is, use such environmental exposure as your advantage for your previous time-blocking activities. It's going to multiply your productivity and results exponentially.


http://ezinearticles.com/?5-Tips-To-Block-Your-Time&id=9561002

How To Have a Thriving Relationship


6 Tips To Help Keep Your Relationship Strong

People talk a lot about happiness. How to find it, how to maintain it, how to cause it in others, etc. As a life coach, I prefer to talk about thriving. When someone is thriving, they may not always be smiling or laughing or having the most fun time ever--they might not even feel "happy," per se--but they are operating at or very near their maximum potential. There may be fear and pain anxiety, but there's zero regret.

The same term can and should be applied to relationships. A healthy relationship isn't always happy, but it is always thriving. The following is a list of five signs that your relationship is thriving. If you have someone in your life currently, how many apply to you?

1. You trust each other, and deserve each other's trust.

People in thriving relationships care about their partner's feelings, and know that their partner cares just as much about theirs. While nobody is perfect and even the purest individual can be tempted, people in these relationships never seriously consider infidelity or other relationship-threatening behaviors because they know they'd have to lie. People in thriving relationships are uncomfortable lying to each other--they may have tried it on occasion before but always found that every lie, no matter how big or small, created a barrier to intimacy and respect that won't be dismantled until the truth comes out. The longer they are together, people in thriving couples find that being honest to each other and to themselves is far easier and far more rewarding than being dishonest.

2. You laugh with each other.

Laughter is a release of tension that occurs in the body, often when a truth is revealed and we realize we are not alone in our thoughts. This is why people say, "It's funny because it's true!" A couple who laughs together is a couple that can look realistically at life in all its absurdity and share the same viewpoint, who can connect in a real, meaningful way. Especially if you're in it for the long haul, a sense of humor is one of the biggest factors in the success of any relationship.

3. Your sex life is fulfilling for both parties.

The media often gives us crazy notions and expectations about what a healthy sex life looks, feels, even sounds like. But the truth is there's no magic number or measurement. Individuals in a thriving relationship either intuit or discover what satisfies their partner and they are driven to fulfill that specific need. As long as this is going both ways, you're in good shape!

4. You are proud of each others' accomplishments, and supportive during moments of weakness.

Competition is natural, especially if you work in the same field as your significant other. But those in thriving relationships can't help but share in their lovers' successes and disappointments. In general, there's no room for power plays or mind games or score keeping. Both partners are equally able to console and be consoled.

5. You are able to spend time away from each other.

A big test of whether or not a relationship is co-dependent or not, is the ability of the partners to spend time apart from each other. While it's natural to miss your lover, and to lean on him or her when things are hard, having your own experiences to bring to the table is vital part of being a team. People in thriving relationships understand and appreciate the value of a little "me time" every now and then.

6. You never go to bed angry.

Communication is king. Arguments are natural and necessary. When two people meet and decide they want to spend huge amounts of time together (the rest of their lives maybe?), there are going to have to be negotiations and compromises. People in thriving relationships trust the relationship enough to be open about things that bother them, and they respect their partner's input enough to do their problem solving out in the open. Thriving couples may argue as much or even more than non-thriving couples. But the difference is they don't end the argument until the issue is resolved and they are comfortable falling asleep that night in their lover's embrace.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Have-a-Thriving-Relationship&id=9376754

Body Language Secret - Your Eyes!

Body language is important because you are SHOWING the world what you are feeling and thinking. Your body is "talking" (communicating) without you saying one single word. Yikes!

For today, my number one tip for body language is your eyes! There are two important tips to remember.

Eye Contact - Body Language

When talking with someone, look that person in the eyes! Not in a creepy way, but with interest!

Creepy: Creepy is when you don't blink, you stare, or concentrate on another part of their face! Don't do creepy!

Interviewing: For any type of interview (job, pageant, etc.), do NOT look away when someone asks a question. I've seen this so many times and not sure WHY someone thinks that looking away is "the thing" to do. The answer to the question being asked is NOT on the ceiling or in the other room. Look at the person! I believe that we have seen people of influence look away when answering a question and we think it's what we are "supposed" to do. It's NOT!

A Skill: Looking at someone in the eye is not a "natural" skill. In fact, I've had to teach my daughters to greet people while looking them in the eye. It's not something that everyone learns from a parent or picks up by watching others. Therefore, do NOT hesitate to help someone with this important and very basic communication skill. Without this skill of looking people in the eye, you may not get the job or get noticed by that special someone!

Talk With Your Eyes The Eyes Have It!

When communicating, your eyes are a big part of what you are saying. Your eyes can show interest, boredom, excitement, sympathy, panic, wonder or happiness! Yes - your eyes say so much about what you are thinking and feeling!

Tips for talking with your eyes:

First: make certain you follow the tips above! No creepy eyes, don't look away when answering a question and eye contact is a skill that can be learned!

Second: talking with your eyes includes your eyebrows and forehead. Yep - think about it. When you open your eyes in wonderment, you lift your eyebrows and your forehead! 

Third: Stop, look in the mirror. Look straight, then lift your eyebrows. When you lift your eyebrows, something happens to your eyes! You are talking with your eyes when you lift your eyebrows. Lifting your eyebrows may not seem natural at first, but continue to practice in the mirror. Then, practice with a friend. Before you know it, your eyes will be communicating along with what you are saying!

In conclusion, your eyes are important because you are SHOWING the world what you are feeling and thinking. Your body is "talking" (communicating) without you saying one single word. Yikes!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Body-Language-Secret---Your-Eyes!&id=9356337

The "Big Four" in Reading Body Language

In learning to read body language, it helps to know the Big Four, that is, four major categories of movements. Each one gives you some information about a person's emotion and intent.

The Big Four in body language are:

1. Illustrators
2. Regulators
3. Barriers
4. Adaptors

Illustrators punctuate what you're saying so they could be intentional or unintentional. You may automatically use your arms, torso, head, legs, and everything else to accent what you're saying. Sure, sometimes you might rehearse your movements if you're giving a presentation at a meeting, but in normal conversation, you don't deliberately choose every move you make. Everyone has a baseline style of using illustrators. When you deviate from that, it's a signal that there's a shift in the intensity of your emotions.

Regulators are movements and sounds to control another person's speech. Again, they could be intentional or unintentional. The postures and movements associated with active listening encourage the other person to keep talking. In contrast, when you clamp your lips while someone is talking, you are sending the signal that you don't want to hear any more or you don't want to hear more of the same. When you turn away slightly, it's the same kind of signal.

Barriers can help you establish personal space. They can be a body part, like an arm or a shoulder-the proverbial "cold shoulder"-or an object like a cell phone or table. They can make you look weak and afraid-like you have to hide behind something in order to have a conversation. On the flip side, when you sit behind your big desk and the person you're talking with is sitting on the other side of it, that barrier conveys the sense that you have a lot of personal real estate.

Adaptors are nervous movements that are self-soothing in nature. They might be grooming gestures, like brushing a piece of lint off your jacket even though there may be no lint there, or straightening a tie, or playing with your earrings or hair. They could be rubbing two fingers together. The use of adaptors is one of the clues of possible deception. Most people are not skilled at any level of deception, whether it's omitting a fact, distorting a fact, or embellishing a fact. Engaging in deception, even if it's minor, will probably cause some stress and that stress will leak out in the form of an adaptor.


Healing From A Relationship With A Narcissist

Healing from a relationship with a narcissist is a learned process. Learn it now!



Many of us have been there.

You met the person of your dreams - charming, intelligent, romantic, attentive, incredible chemistry and great lover. You might have been told how wonderful you are, how this was the first time your lover had ever felt this way and had this level of connection, and you felt truly seen for the first time.

Perhaps there was a nagging unease that all this was happening too fast - that he or she couldn't possibly feel this way about you without knowing you better. But you were swept off your feet and finally decided to open your heart.

The confusion may have started then, as your lover pulled away and become critical. Or, it might have started after you married, and you found yourself with a partner totally different than the person you fell in love with.

Whether your relationship was two months or two years or two decades, it was likely tumultuous, confusing and painful. And if you were married and then divorced, it might have been more painful or even frightening.

There is much healing for you to do if you were in love with a narcissist.

The Process of Healing From Your Narcissistic Partner

1) First you need to be very compassionate with yourself and let yourself grieve for the huge loss of what you had hoped for. It might seem easier to judge yourself for the big mistakes you believe you made, but self-judgment will keep you stuck. There is no possibility of healing when you judge yourself.

Each time the grief comes up, embrace it with kindness and caring toward yourself. Even though you know it's better to have ended this relationship, it's hard to let go of the intensity of a relationship with a narcissist. It's hard to imagine a future relationship that isn't boring compared to the intensity you've been experiencing.

2) Once some of the grief has subsided, then it's time to go inward and explore why you were vulnerable to this person. Was your partner giving you what you were not giving to yourself? Was your partner seeing you and valuing you in the way you need to be seeing and valuing yourself? Did you ignore some red flags because you so wanted it all to be true?

Did you make excuses for your partner to avoid facing the truth? Did you give yourself up to try to have control over getting your partner to be loving to you again? What did you sacrifice to keep the relationship - your integrity, your financial security, your time with family and/or friends, your time for yourself, your inner knowing?

It's vitally important to be honest with yourself so that you don't end up feeling like a victim, and so that you have less of a chance of repeating this in a future relationship.

During this time of self-reflection, it's very important to get support. You might want to join a 12-Step CODA group, go into therapy/facilitation, and/or join a support group.

3) Educate yourself about narcissism. There are numerous books, websites and articles devoted to understanding narcissism. Since I'm certain that you don't want to repeat this, you need to do all you can to learn about what happened. You need to become sensitive to the numerous red flags so that you can pick them up very early in a subsequent relationship.

One of my clients shared that she had met a man six years ago, dated him a few times, and then they remained distant friends. Recently, when she was in his town, they saw each other and she was very attracted to him. He came on strong, inviting her to join him on an upcoming European vacation. She felt uneasy, but a day later texted him to see if he wanted to have dinner with her. He never responded to the invitation. It took her only 24 hours to recognize these two red flags of narcissism - coming on strong and then disappearing. She was pleased that she found this out so soon! Instead of beating herself up for being attracted to another narcissist, she congratulated herself for staying open to the truth.

Since narcissists are often very attractive, any of us can become attracted. But whether or not we will pursue it depends on how much Inner Bonding work we have done.