4 Tips To Improve And Boost Your Self-Confidence

Many people today believe that having self-confidence has something to do with ones accomplishments or societal status. Others think it has something to do with having a certain kind of body, the way one looks or even how popular they are with friends and society in general. The idea of self confidence is perhaps one that women need a lot of clarity on because often times we see promotions on what new thing to get, which make-up to use and which "fix you up" products that are all supposed to magically give you an increased sense of self-worth and greater confidence. But does any of this really work?

Personally I know it doesn't work at all for I started off trying to get rid of my insecurities, self-loathing and criticism by buying all the best things I could find to enhance my beauty and confidence.

What experience has shown me, which numerous researches conducted can now confirm is that nothing can increase your self-esteem and self- confidence. Your happiness, fulfillment and overall well-being is very much limited or expanded by your level of confidence and self-esteem. No external thing therefore can truly bring you joy and fulfillment or that sense of deserving except a belief in your own value, which is always determined by your level of inner confidence, and belief in your own Self.

In our modern and rapidly developing society where material possessions are considered a standard measure of value, more and more people are secretly battling with this idea and try to mask whatever emotions they might have by working harder than ever to get more stuff, bigger accolades and more social recognition in the hopes that this will in some way fill the inner void that continues to brew.

This is the worst way to build your success or your self-esteem because none of the outer possessions no matter how good will ever satisfy you or even last very long. They aren't meant to add or complete you where you feel a lack, when we use them for such, we welcome all the evils that divine teachings have warned us against.

What is self-confidence and where does it come from?

Confidence is defined as the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on something or someone. Self-confidence then is the feeling or belief that you can have faith in and rely on your Self.

It all comes from the Self and the error we have made far too many times is in making our capacity, abilities and sense of worth dependent on something other than self. Which brings me to the first point I wish to drive home, the self is the real, infinite and eternal you. But that self-experiencing your current life is under a certain belief, idea, concept about who and what it is. This idea is called self-image. It is the image of self that your mind has believed and defined as you. If this image is healthy and built or a right foundation then you have a great thriving lifestyle because your confidence is booming which means you're deliberately designing and generating the kind of conditions rolling out in your life. However if for one reason or another you didn't form a healthy and true image of self, then real confidence and belief in yourself is something you struggle with which naturally reflects on the quality of life you get to experience on a daily basis.

For the most part, we see all the erred views on self-confidence and self-esteem stemming out of this false paradigm and approach to the self, which causes people to look to the external rather than to the self for a strong, confident and a high sense of value and worth as human individuals simply from just "being" instead of doing or having a particular thing.

The difference between a person who's got a good healthy self-confidence and one who doesn't isn't about how they physically look, what they have or the kind of accomplishments they've made. It's a deeper more profound knowledge and understanding as well as complete appreciation and embracing of all that they are. One of the question's I get asked the most is: What can I do to increase my level of confidence? Here are a few ways:

1. Disentangle your real Self from your conceptions of self

The great endeavour we all need to frequently do as we often get lazy and get pulled back into mass kind of thinking is to disentangle the real Self from the beliefs attached to the self. The "I" in you is the real Self and is not the idea of you that you've formed throughout your lifetime. Your real Self is independent of all the conditions, labels and attachments you developed while on earth. It is this self that gives you life and makes it possible for you to even read this now.

This same self is the one you must learn to believe in, have faith and rely on implicitly. But since many people have no idea how to access or live from this self, the outside alternatives have continued to be promoted because humanity has long gotten used to the idea of looking for power outside in the world of effects. We find it difficult to trust in what is beyond our intellect and yet we can feel that all things tangible are limited. Your self-confidence will increase greatly when you learn to tap into your real Self and live from that authentic and infinitely powerful aspect of your existence.

2. Learn the truth about perfection and imperfection

Mankind has gotten so used to the idea of being imperfect. It's drilled in almost all schools of life and the idea of perfection has been given such a bad humanistic and almost vain taste that stating it here I know will arouse the criticism of the uninitiated minds. But the truth always stands and it is that you are perfect! You were born perfect and that's why you innately feel as though you need to express it.

Because you are spiritually perfect, there is no need to ever believe that something needs to be added or fixed. No need to ever believe that you need to seek it because being already perfect, the process of human living is the progressive unfolding and evolving of that inherent perfection. Start viewing yourself as such and life will show you just how perfect you can be as long as you continue progressively moving forward with ease and confidence in who you really are.

3. Discover the biggest war zone in the world and heal it

This is a big one for most people everywhere. Do you know that one of the biggest and hardest habits to break for the human being is that of self-judgment? Neuroscience found this to be one of the most detrimental habits most people indulge in almost unconsciously.

Within your mind is an ever on-going conversation about everything you are experiencing and especially about yourself. This conversation needs to be guarded and reshaped to reflect the kind of lifestyle you wish to manifest before you can hope to have it as your reality. If that conversation is only fault-finding, blaming, arguing and criticizing it will be very difficult for you to ever feel good enough or worthy of a good life. People spend so much time worried about the outside world while if only they could go quiet and listen in, they would soon discover a similar war going on internally.

4. Learn to embrace

Embrace all of you. Not just the good parts but all of you... Ambiguity is natural to you because you exist as Body - Mind - Spirit. When you discover the kind of image you have attached to your "I", it's probable you'll even feel ashamed that you attached such a disgraceful belief to yourself and let it define who you are. We all experience that - but what you need to know is that it doesn't really matter anymore as long as you're now awake and ready to take action and create an image that truly reflects the kind of person you want to be. Hiding, feeling ashamed or guilty over the things you discover from your old beliefs and mindset does nothing except harm you and keep you stuck.

Don't forget these are just a few tips on a very deep topic that every individual needs to work on intimately because it makes all the difference in the quality of life. I have a lot more on this topic and you can have more access in greater details of ways to help you recreate your self-image.

Above all else, understand that changing your self-image and improving your confidence requires time and consistent practice because it's a major factor in mastery of self. As with all things, the mastery requires certain consistent effort and practice to be invested before the great harvest can be enjoyed. But every step along the way will already move you closer to your ultimate goal and small manifestations that help you track your progress will always be noted so keep working at it, start with these simple ideas and trust that you are all it takes to be this new you that you want to bring into physical reality.

http://ezinearticles.com/?4-Tips-To-Improve-And-Boost-Your-Self-Confidence&id=9311480

11 Secrets of Irresistible People

Some people, regardless of what they lack--money, looks, or social connections--always radiate with energy and confidence.

Some people, regardless of what they lack--money, looks, or social connections--always radiate with energy and confidence. Even the most skeptical individuals find themselves enamored with these charming personalities.

These people are the life of every party. They’re the ones you turn to for help, advice, and companionship.

You just can’t get enough of them, and they leave you asking yourself, “What do they have that I don’t? What makes them so irresistible?”

The difference? Their sense of self-worth comes from within.

Irresistible people aren't constantly searching for validation, because they're confident enough to find it in themselves. There are certain habits they pursue every day to maintain this healthy perspective.

Since being irresistible isn't the result of dumb luck, it's time to study the habits of irresistible people so that you can use them to your benefit.

Get ready to say "hello" to a new, more irresistible you.

1. They Treat EVERYONE With Respect

Whether interacting with their biggest client or a server taking their drink order, irresistible people are unfailingly polite and respectful. They understand that--no matter how nice they are to the person they're having lunch with--it's all for naught if that person witnesses them behaving badly toward someone else. Irresistible people treat everyone with respect because they believe they're no better than anyone else.

2. They Follow The Platinum Rule

The Golden Rule--treat others as you want to be treated--has a fatal flaw: it assumes that all people want to be treated the same way. It ignores that people are motivated by vastly different things. One person loves public recognition, while another loathes being the center of attention.

The Platinum Rule--treat others as they want to be treated--corrects that flaw. Irresistible people are great at reading other people, and they adjust their behavior and style to make others feel comfortable.

3. They Ditch The Small Talk

There's no surer way to prevent an emotional connection from forming during a conversation than by sticking to small talk. When you robotically approach people with small talk this puts their brains on autopilot and prevents them from having any real affinity for you. Irresistible people create connection and find depth even in short, every day conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what they're told to other important facets of the speaker's life.

4. They Focus On People More Than Anything Else

Irresistible people possess an authentic interest in those around them. As a result, they don't spend much time thinking about themselves. They don't obsess over how well they're liked, because they're too busy focusing on the people they're with. It's what makes their irresistibility seem so effortless.

To put this habit to work for you, try putting down the smart phone and focusing on the people you're with. Focus on what they're saying, not what your response will be, or how what they're saying will affect you. When people tell you something about themselves, follow up with open-ended questions to draw them out even more.

5. They Don't Try Too Hard

Irresistible people don't dominate the conversation with stories about how smart and successful they are. It's not that they're resisting the urge to brag. The thought doesn't even occur to them because they know how unlikeable people are who try too hard to get others to like them.

6. They Recognize The Difference Between Fact And Opinion

Irresistible people handle controversial topics and touchy subjects with grace and poise. They don't shrink from sharing their opinions, but they make it clear that they're opinions, not facts. Whether discussing global warming, politics, vaccine schedules, or GMO foods, irresistible people recognize that many people who are just as intelligent as they are see things differently.

7. They Are Authentic

Irresistible people are who they are. Nobody has to burn up energy or brainpower trying to guess their agenda or predict what they'll do next. They do this because they know that no one likes a fake.

People gravitate toward authentic individuals because they know they can trust them. It's easy to resist someone when you don't know who they really are and how they really feel.

8. They Have Integrity

People with high integrity are irresistible because they walk their talk, plain and simple. Integrity is a simple concept but a difficult thing to practice. To demonstrate integrity every day, irresistible people follow through, they avoid talking bad about other people, and they do the right thing, even when it hurts.

9. They Smile

People naturally (and unconsciously) mirror the body language of the person they're talking to. If you want people to find you irresistible, smile at them during conversations and they will unconsciously return the favor and feel good as a result.

10. They Make An Effort To Look Their Best (Just Not Too Much Of An Effort)

There's a massive difference between being presentable and being vain. Irresistible people understand that making an effort to look your best is comparable to cleaning your house before company comes--it's a sign of respect for others. But once they've made themselves presentable, they stop thinking about it.

11. They Find Reasons To Love Life

Irresistible people are positive and passionate. They're never bored, because they see life as an amazing adventure and approach it with a joy that other people want to be a part of.

It's not that irresistible people don't have problems--even big ones--but they approach problems as temporary obstacles, not inescapable fate. When things go wrong, they remind themselves that a bad day is just one day, and they keep hope that tomorrow or next week or next month will be better.

Bringing It All Together

Irresistible people did not have fairy godmothers hovering over their cribs. They've simply perfected certain appealing qualities and habits that anyone can adopt as their own.

They think about other people more than they think about themselves, and they make other people feel liked, respected, understood, and seen. Just remember: the more you focus on others, the more irresistible you'll be.

http://www.inc.com/travis-bradberry/11-secrets-of-irresistible-people.html

Success Hack: 3 Tips to Liberate Yourself from Toxic People

When I was a first-year history teacher in a Chicago high school, I quickly stopped going into the teachers’ lounge, which I dubbed the “Ain’t It Awful” Club.

Worse than the haze of cigarette smoke that constantly hung over the room was the cloud of emotional negativity:

“Can you believe what they want us to do now?”

“I got that Simmons kid again this year in math. He’s a holy terror.”

“There is no way you can teach these kids. They are totally out of control!”

... It was a constant stream of negative judgements, criticisms, blaming, and complaining.

I didn’t want to be around that kind of negativity. I knew it would make it so much harder for me to be the positive, life-changing teacher I wanted to be.

Fortunately, I soon discovered a group of dedicated teachers who hung out in the library and ate together in the teachers’ lunchroom. They were passionate about their jobs and believed they could overcome and handle anything that was thrown at them.

I started hanging out with them and implemented every new idea they shared with me – as well as a few more that I picked up from my weekend classes at the University of Chicago.

As a result, the students voted me Teacher of the Year in only my first year of teaching. That never would have happened if I had allowed myself to get sucked into the “Ain’t It Awful” Club!

Don’t let toxic people infect you with their negativity

All of us have to deal with at least a few toxic people in our lifetime.

You know the kind of people I’m talking about...

They’re the ones who are always complaining and blaming others for their circumstances. They judge others, spread negative gossip, and always talk about how bad it is.

They tell you your dreams are impossible and try to dissuade you from believing in and pursuing your goals. They’re constantly trying to bring you back down to their level.

A simple phone conversation or email exchange with them will bring tension, stress, and disorder to the rest of your day.

Sound familiar?

Maybe these toxic people are your coworkers, or your old group of friends from high school. Or maybe they’re your family members.

No matter who they are, they have the power to drain you of the energy, faith, motivation, and self-confidence you need to achieve your goals and create the life of your dreams.

IF you let them, that is.

Here are my three most valuable tips on how to liberate yourself from their negative influence.

Tip 1: Get clear on who the toxic people are – and how they’re holding you back

Make a list of everyone you spend time with on a regular basis— your family members, coworkers, neighbors, friends, people in your civic organization, fellow members of your religious group, and so on.

When you’ve completed your list, go back and put a minus sign (–) next to those people who are always negative, critical, and complaining, and a plus sign (+) next to those who are positive and nurturing.

As you make a decision about each person, you might find that a pattern will begin to form.

Maybe your entire workplace is filled with toxic personalities. Perhaps it’s your friends who nay-say everything you do. Or maybe it’s your family members who constantly put you down and undermine your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Once you identify them, you’ll begin to see how they’ve been influencing your outlook on your life and career – and holding you back from creating the life of your dreams.

Tip 2: Stop spending time with them

You’re better off spending time alone than spending time with people who will hold you back with their victim mentality and their mediocre standards.

I know, it might be easier said than done... especially if those toxic people are your co-workers or family members.

Maybe you don’t feel like you can remove them from your life right now. At the very least, I encourage you to severely decrease the amount of time you spend with them.

And remember, nothing is impossible – it’s always a choice.

If you work in a toxic environment, apply for a different job. Tough market? Upgrade your skills to be a more attractive job candidate.

If your family’s negativity is slowly poisoning you, have an honest talk with them and tell them how their negative words and actions affect you. If they don’t listen to you or honor how you feel, stop spending time with them. It really can be that simple.

You have the power – and the right – to remove people from your life if they constantly attack your sense of self worth and are preventing you from becoming the best possible person you can be.

Tip 3: Surround yourself with positive people

Here is the easiest way to insulate yourself from toxic people: fill your life with positive people instead.

Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive, nourishing, and uplifting people who believe in you, encourage you to go after your dreams, and applaud your victories.

Seek out successful people who have already accomplished amazing things in their life. This is one of the most powerful ways to bring more success and happiness into your life – by hanging out with people who inspire you and can give you the support and advice you need to achieve your own success.

Where do you find successful people?

Join a professional association. Attend your professional conferences. Join the Chamber of Commerce or your local country club.

If you’re a young person, join the Young Presidents’ Organization or the Young Entrepreneurs’ Organization.

Volunteer for leadership positions. Join civic groups like Kiwanis, Optimists International, and Rotary International.

Volunteer to serve with other leaders in your church, temple, or mosque. Attend lectures, symposia, courses, seminars, clinics, camps, and retreats taught by those who have already achieved what you want to achieve.

Your life will be so rich you won’t have any time to spend with toxic people!

And who knows? Maybe your success will inspire those negative people in your life to aim higher in their own lives as well.

http://jackcanfield.com/success-hack-3-tips-to-liberate-yourself-from-toxic-people/#