Manifestation miracle
Showing posts with label worthy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label worthy. Show all posts
Bullying Made Me Believe I Was Ugly (By May Esohe Olusola)
I found this throwback picture of me taken in 1987. I was 20 years old, painfully shy, void of confidence; but most importantly, a product of mental bullying that took root in my life and molded me into believing what I definitely wasn't. As ridiculous as this sounds, I used to believe I was very ugly and here is why.
I was born with a pronounced red birthmark on the left side of my face. Back then, it was the first thing you saw if you were meeting me for the first time. I was very conscious of it and used to feel like I was from another planet, because no one seemed to have a face like mine. The kids in school didn't help matters with their constant showers of horrible names to hurt my self-esteem, like: "Red-faced Monster," "Ugly Girl," "Map of the World," and "Your-Mother-Must-Have-Slapped-You-With-a-Red-Spoon.".
These taunts laid the foundation for many pity parties. "Why me?" was the question I used to put before God, and whenever my mother came home from work and saw I'd been crying, she would try her best to convince me I was beautiful. Her words had a way of gently draining away the malicious words I had suffered. Thank God for a mother who kept speaking life into me with statements like: "You are beautiful," "You are going to be great," and "You are somebody." This became a cycle, till I slowly started believing there might be some truth in my doting mother's words. I gained a tiny bit of confidence and was at the point of figuring out a permanent way to dismiss the bullying.
AN ADULT UNKNOWINGLY JOINED THE BULLYING CYCLE
I was almost there when one day my teacher wanted to get my attention. However, instead of calling me by name, she called out: "Come here, Red Face." You can't imagine the shock that bolted from head to toe. She had betrayed my innocent mind to such an extent that I am fighting back tears as I write this. For an adult to confirm what the kids were daily saying proved to me that I was indeed a red-faced monster. Her words had added salt to a wound that caused unimaginable heartache for years.
Thank God for special friends back then. They celebrated and encouraged me in very memorable ways. By the time I graduated from the university, it was not as bad, but still bad. I just did not find myself worthy. This belief followed me into adulthood, creating some painful chapters that robbed me of many opportunities. In no time, my self-esteem graduated from low to invisible.
My turning point came the moment the word of God took root in me and I resolved to reject the fear of rejection and believe in myself no matter what. The light bulb of revelation had finally come on. I made a conscientious effort to start the change from within me. In no time, the layers and excess baggage that weighed me down for many years started falling off one day at a time.
A BETTER PERSON EMERGED FROM THE DUNGEON OF BULLYING
Today, I can look in the mirror and say to myself,"Thank You Lord; I am beautiful!" I truly appreciate the way God made me. I love myself, I do what makes me happy and permit what enters my space. (If you don't guard your space, shenanigans will guard it for you.) If God wasn't on my side, who knows the other options I would have sought to medicate the pain bullying birthed in me? No matter what you are going through, the first step to recovery is believing in yourself. Forget what the world says about you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
It is imperative we form and maintain the habit of using words wisely. What we say to others matters a great deal. We can make or break ourselves and others with our choice of words. Let us be a part of putting an end to all forms of bullying today.
https://ezinearticles.com/?Bullying-Made-Me-Believe-I-Was-Ugly&id=9979831
How to Build and Exhume Confidence in Yourself
Do you count yourself as being one of those unfortunate creatures of God who are just not worthy of being loved, praised or appreciated? If yes, then chances are high that you also must be very insecure as a person, although you must be doing a pretty good job of concealing it. What you must realize at this point is that try as you might to hide your true feelings they find a way to manifest themselves in form of low self-esteem.
How you feel about yourself and judge your worth is described as self-esteem. To this effect, individuals who feel regard themselves poorly or inferior to others are the ones who suffer from low self-esteem. Having a low self-esteem is not about being quirky but about acknowledging that there is indeed a real problem at hand that needs to be solved before it sabotages all other aspects of life, most important among them being happiness.
Typical Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem
Following are some behavior traits that are characteristic of people suffering from low self-esteem -
Extremely sensitive to criticism - Unlike most people who take criticism in stride, a person with low self-esteem is unduly sensitive to criticism. Psychologists attribute this to the uncertain mindset that is characteristic of such a person wherein he/she tends to closely observe other people's reactions and often arrives at a negative conclusion.
In the event of you being a person with low self-esteem, most of the times you would feel that others are justified in treating you badly.
Socially isolated - Individuals with low self-esteem tend to remain socially isolated, whether it is in form of staying away from a room-mate or spending time on phone despite being a part of a big gathering. Even if someone does try to approach such a person and strike a conversation, the attempt is futile since all that takes place is passing of insecurities in a bid to feel superior.
Attributing everything to luck - A typical characteristic of low self-esteem is to shrug off hard-earned success and attribute it to a blessing or simply sheer luck. The sign of a healthy self-esteem is to embrace success and return the compliment with a simple 'thank you'. On the flip side, one that is indicative of low self-esteem echoes the sentiment that whatever good happened was either due to someone else or could have been much better.
Appeasement policy - Backing out of an argument willingly or saying sorry to people irrespective of whether they deserve it or not is reflective of poor self-esteem. This is because a person having low self-esteem is scared to express his/her true feelings or opinions for the fear of being laughed at or rejected. Appeasement seems to be the best option to avoid a conflict or an argument.
Fatigue and insomnia - Feeling fatigued or spending too much time in bed without falling asleep reflect on an escapist mentality which in turn stems from low self-esteem. Slouching shoulders are also indicative of the fact that you do not consider yourself worthy enough.
Dealing with Low Self-Esteem
There are several factors that contribute towards a low self-esteem ranging from negligent or uninvolved parents to having a critical peer group, physical or mental trauma, negative thought patterns and unrealistic expectations. That said, it is equally important to bear in mind that self-esteem can be dealt with, meaning it is something that can be changed since it is after all a state of mind.
Raising self-esteem may take plenty of time and practice but as long as you are determined enough to challenge your own mindset and push it towards change, there is nothing that can stop you. Practicing self-esteem exercises and attending self-esteem workshops are some recommendations that could speed up the process but ultimately the choice is yours to make. And when you choose to change your thinking, not only do you gain a healthy self-esteem but also a world of positivism.
https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Build-and-Exhume-Confidence-in-Yourself&id=9686685
Money Is Looking for You
Push the pause button on your life for a moment.
Take a nice deep belly breath in and let it out slowly. Do it again. Slowly... in and out.
Now imagine that the money you've been wanting is like a long-lost lover. There's an emotional connection between you. You've been separated due to some past decisions. You've lost touch and have now come to the realization that you want this lover back in your life.
You may feel like finding your money is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Your money is looking for you, just as you are looking for it. It wants to be with you forever. All you have to do is let it in the door.
You see, it's been knocking and you've been afraid to answer. You've been afraid that it will tease you. You think it'll come in your life and then disappear again. Or you might think you're not worthy of it yet, needing to struggle a bit more. You may think it's just simply too good to be true.
Are you ready to trust that your beloved relationship with money is for real? That it will be loyal to you if you give it a chance? Your money wants to serve you. It sees you as worthy just as you are right now.
You see, this process is very real. If you decide to feel worthy of more money in your life and you literally put out the welcome mat, it will show up.
The decision is all up to you. You either let it in or you don't. You either focus on it being missing from your life or you allow it in, with your arms open and ready to receive.
You'll have to push the pause button on the worrying, concerns, stress and debating about money. This includes all things money related: your job or business, your mate's income, how you spend your money, your future plans, your investments, what other people are making or spending, etc. You've got to stop tripping yourself up with your doubts. There is no logic in worrying; therefore it is not helpful to do so.
Your wealth is dependent on you simply opening up. It wants you as much as you want it. Decide. If there is an action you have to do to let it in, you'll know. It will become very clear to you, and you won't have to figure it out. You know what they call that, right? Yes, it's inspired action. It's all fun and games from that point.
Just like in the movies, your love story can have a happy ending.
What inspired actions will you take towards your happy ending?
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Jeanna Gabellini is a Master Business Coach who assists conscious entrepreneurs to double (and even triple) their profits by leveraging attraction principles, proven strategies and fun. Grab her FREE audio on dialing in your biz here: http://masterpeacecoaching.com/freecd2
http://ezinearticles.com/?Money-Is-Looking-for-You&id=9477140
When and Why Crying Can Help You Cope
Have you ever felt bombarded with life's knock downs month after month? If yes, how did you deal with them? This article shows you what to do when you are in the middle of such a crisis.
Little babies are unable to talk or walk. By crying out loud they demand food and attention. In a similar way, when you are out of your wits dealing with life's multi-dimensional knock downs, the easiest thing you can do is to break down and cry. Cry as much as you want until all your pent-up emotions like anger, pain, stress and disappointments are drained out. It is healthy to cry. Once you are done with it, you feel lighter and find it easier to cope with your life's situation.
Here are a few scenarios when crying will definitely aid you:
1) Demise of someone you love
Say, a close family member passed away. There's no way you can have him/her back. The easiest way to beat this crisis is to cry voluminously. After you are done, your heart and mind will both be at ease. Gradually you will start figuring out the next steps of your life and take my word: You will thrive. Definitely.
2) You have been laid off
Sure, you put a lot of effort into your work but your company has begun to downsize its employees and you are one of them. Don't lose heart but have a good cry privately. Come on that's not the end of the world! You have a whole lot of other companies out there who would recruit you happily for your lovely experiences and expertise.
3) Your spouse is hinting for a divorce
Go with the flow. Let your spouse file a divorce. You can't force anything nor can you change his mind if he is adamant about it. Give him space. Go through the process and face it. Remember to cry secretly to release your suppressed emotions. You will be OK and start to feel better soon.
4) Someone hurt your feelings
Actually no one can hurt you unless otherwise how you perceive what someone said to you. If it's hurting you too badly, excuse yourself and have a good, private cry. You will regain strength after that. You will be vibrant and full of vigor just because you allowed yourself to discharge your emotions.
5) Watching/Reading Sad Movies/Books
As you watch/read a sad movie/book, you don't seem to help crying. Don't suppress it. Let it run while you gain the insights of the movie/book. The producer/author must be very skilled to let you step into their drama and make you get entangled with it. Nevertheless when you feel like crying, do cry. That's what makes the experience more enlivening and worthy.
Summing up, the above are some of the cases where I really encourage you to cry in order to cope with the situation on hand. It shouldn't be too hard. Take it easy and have a good cry. Life will definitely fall together because life is apt to change.
Money Is Looking for You
Push the pause button on your life for a moment.
Take a nice deep belly breath in and let it out slowly. Do it again. Slowly... in and out.
Now imagine that the money you've been wanting is like a long-lost lover. There's an emotional connection between you. You've been separated due to some past decisions. You've lost touch and have now come to the realization that you want this lover back in your life.
You may feel like finding your money is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Your money is looking for you, just as you are looking for it. It wants to be with you forever. All you have to do is let it in the door.
You see, it's been knocking and you've been afraid to answer. You've been afraid that it will tease you. You think it'll come in your life and then disappear again. Or you might think you're not worthy of it yet, needing to struggle a bit more. You may think it's just simply too good to be true.
Are you ready to trust that your beloved relationship with money is for real? That it will be loyal to you if you give it a chance? Your money wants to serve you. It sees you as worthy just as you are right now.
You see, this process is very real. If you decide to feel worthy of more money in your life and you literally put out the welcome mat, it will show up.
The decision is all up to you. You either let it in or you don't. You either focus on it being missing from your life or you allow it in, with your arms open and ready to receive.
You'll have to push the pause button on the worrying, concerns, stress and debating about money. This includes all things money related: your job or business, your mate's income, how you spend your money, your future plans, your investments, what other people are making or spending, etc. You've got to stop tripping yourself up with your doubts. There is no logic in worrying; therefore it is not helpful to do so.
Your wealth is dependent on you simply opening up. It wants you as much as you want it. Decide. If there is an action you have to do to let it in, you'll know. It will become very clear to you, and you won't have to figure it out. You know what they call that, right? Yes, it's inspired action. It's all fun and games from that point.
Just like in the movies, your love story can have a happy ending.
What inspired actions will you take towards your happy ending?
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Jeanna Gabellini is a Master Business Coach who assists conscious entrepreneurs to double (and even triple) their profits by leveraging attraction principles, proven strategies and fun. Grab her FREE audio on dialing in your biz here: http://masterpeacecoaching.com/freecd2
The Importance of Words in Your Energized Life
A friend recently commented that the word "just" should be eradicated from one's vocabulary. Initially that made sense to me and I was amused at how often I used it, and in how many different ways. I even wrote the last article without using the word, though it would naturally (for me) fit in so many places!
You've heard, I'm sure, that the word "should" isn't part of a healthy mindset - or vocabulary either.
Words are important. Intention is important. Inflection is important too. Body language is also important.
But, whose rules are we communicating by, anyway? Words, in and of themselves, aren't bad. So, why do we need to cut some words from our vocabulary?
I've chosen to cut "hate" from my vocabulary because I think it's a powerful word that's too easy to misuse. In my experience there are more precise words to use. I want to find gentler ways of communicating, so cutting that word from my vocabulary works for me. Your experience may differ.
It's up to each one of us to decide what words mean to us and how to use them in our communications, so that we convey to others what we are truly intending.
Through the years there have been interesting lessons about word usage. Let me share some of them.
Many women in the women's lib movement have decried the use of what they decided were gender specific words, like chairman or mailman. They feel "man" should be dropped and we should say chair person or chair, and mail person or mail carrier. My teasing counter to that is "son" is a gender specific word so we should drop that from words like person, and use perpeople instead. And what do we do with the word "woman"? Do we talk about a "woperpeople" or a "wo" instead? Too cumbersome, in my humble opinion. I get that language shapes our attitudes about situations and people, and being grounded in our communications will go a long way in helping shape sound conversations and education on these kinds of topics.
I was told by people in a sales group I belonged to that "fine" wasn't a good word to use to describe my state of being because I should say that I'm great, top of the world, or fantastic! As they showed me how "fine" wasn't a good word they mimed a sad, tired, or dejected person. When used that way, fantastic could be misconstrued too. My response was, and is, that "fine" is a wonderful word. We talk about our fine china and crystal, bakers use fine sugar in their delicate pastries because it makes for a better product, and many a person of high standards and moral character has been described as a fine person. It's all in the intention, energy used, and intonation of the word that makes the word a "fine" one to use, or not.
The Apartheid and Black movement talked about the importance of words. Steven Biko talked about how black was a derogatory word: black magic, black sheep, etc. His impassioned speech, depicted in the movie Cry for Freedom, to a South African court moved me, and taught me how powerful language is. What's challenging is that, sticking with the term "black", is that it comes in and out of vogue. Here in the US it's been variously appropriate and inappropriate to call people black, Negro, and African American. Morgan Freeman is credited with saying that we should quit talking about race; he'll quit calling you a white man if you'll quit calling him a black man. Biko's message is clear to me, but I'm not sure the word "black" is the problem. After all, people like their coffee black, their businesses to run in the black, and expert skiers thrill on black diamond runs. I think the attitude of the people he was talking to in the '60s and '70s was the real issue.
Words have the power to lift us and to put us down - if we let them. To me, the bottom line is, are you working to lift yourself up and keep yourself lifted? The words you use and the words of others you accept support your efforts to be strong, confident, and worthy, or undermine those goals.
When I'm on a medical call as an EMT and someone asks me for a decision, if it's outside my scope of practice my answer can be something like "I'm just an EMT-B" without putting myself down. Yes, it would be more precise to say "I'm an EMT-B and that's outside my scope", but in the efficiency of language and conservation of time, that takes longer and expends more energy. And you know I'm all about conserving energy! I'm proud of my designation as an EMT-B. If the person I'm talking to takes exception and thinks I'm putting myself down, that's their problem, not mine. If I was ashamed of my designation or jealous of someone's more advanced designation, then "just" would indicate a problem, though the word is still a good word.
Here's the message I'd like you to get from this discussion. Let your word usage be a guide to areas of your life that need attention. If you are weak in an area, focus on that area to fix the problem and change your attitude about the situation. You may decide the word doesn't serve you well, but if it points to an area where you can improve, then I'd argue that it has served you very well.
Be attentive to your language. Be attentive to your inflection and body language as you talk. You can learn a lot about yourself through your choice of words, your vocal variety, and your posture - if you pay attention. You can energize yourself by choosing supportive words, using uplifting inflection, and using strong posture.
You "should" quit using specific words "just" when you think they aren't serving you and are no longer "fine".
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Importance-of-Words-in-Your-Energized-Life&id=9379028
Your Beliefs Can Set You Free Or Keep You Imprisoned
Your beliefs will set you free or keep you trapped in a self-imposed prison.
A belief has power, assigned through thoughts and emotions. When repeated often, it occupies space in your mind, producing powerful emotions.
Beliefs are formed between the ages two and six, an impressionable time. It is the meaning we ascribe to the events, not the event itself that fuels the belief. For example, if your parents criticised you when you were young, you may have formed the belief, I'm not capable.
Though, this is one version of the truth based on your interpretation. I'm not suggesting it's your fault to adopt this belief, however we are meaning-making machines. We look for meaning in events to make sense of the situation.
Your mind searched for the meaning behind the criticism and concluded you mustn't be capable. But is this "the truth" or one possible interpretation?
Many people hold similar beliefs through adulthood, which keeps them trapped in a mind-made prison.
"Thinking is a surface-level activity, while beliefs are embedded in our mindset and run automatically," affirm author Gary van Warmerdam in MindWorks: A Practical Guide for Changing Thoughts, Beliefs and Emotional Reactions.
If you want to run the latest software on a new computer, installing the Windows 2.0 operating system (released in 1987) is impractical. Modern day computers are equipped with technology too advanced for software designed three decades ago.
Yet, why do you give thought to the same beliefs based on one interpretation of events that took place as a child? Can you see how pointless it is? You've outgrown your childhood environment, yet you still carry the same beliefs as an adult.
I'll say it again, your beliefs have the power to affect the quality of your life. They colour your experience and if you don't believe me, consider being in an intimate relationship harbouring the belief, I'm not worthy. How long do you think the relationship is likely to last?
However, people with unworthiness issues go in search of a partner to feel worthy. It backfires and soon enough they're back where they started - single and now miserable.
Gary van Warmerdam states, "Our beliefs determine the meaning we give to an event which in turn influences our emotional experience of the situation."
You are the storyteller of your life, the director and producer of your destiny. Your choices are influenced by your beliefs, whether they're right or wrong.
Reflect on your answers to the following.
Are your current beliefs influenced by others or through events that took place long ago? If so, who: family, friends, work colleagues, teachers, sports coaches, ministers or the collective society? Are they serving you?
Consider the beliefs you hold strongly. What is the quality of your life in that area? Not the quantity, measured by material possessions.
Do you wake up feeling happy and satisfied to seize the day? If not, you could be perpetuating limiting beliefs that impose on your day-to-day life.
"Some of our strongly held beliefs are based on plausible notions that we either read or heard, but many of our most firmly held convictions are not based on concrete, verifiable fact or proof," states author Edward B Burger and Michael Starbird in, The 5 Elements of Effective Thinking.
I was indoctrinated with religious dogma through my catholic upbringing. I attended a boy's catholic school and read at Sunday mass. As an adult however, I realised my beliefs at the time were not my choosing. Whilst I don't denounce religion and am grateful for my experiences, I realised this was not the path I wanted to take.
The following are four steps to change a belief as outlined by author Ray Dodd's book The Power of Belief:
1. Practise Awareness: Dissociate from the beliefs you formed as a child that no longer serve you. Challenge the inner voice that insists this is the way it's done, as ego reinforces its control through such thoughts. These voices arise when you challenge an existing belief. Silence the endless chatter that interprets your thoughts and actions. A limiting belief is recognised by your emotional response. For example, repeat the belief cited earlier, I'm not capable and note the emotions that arise. You might be reminded of an incident when you were young and sense tightness or constriction in your chest, throat or stomach. This is your body informing you the belief still exists in your emotional body. Other limiting beliefs include: I'm not worthy, I'm not enough, I don't matter, etc.
2. Give Up The Need To Be Right: Abandon beliefs that no longer serve you. In surrendering them, you suspend the need to gather evidence to justify you're right. Through gained awareness, how does the need to be right feel? Is there a feeling of spaciousness as though a small voice within invites you to let go? By not gathering evidence you release your attachment to your old story. In intimate relationships where there's low self-worth, the person is likely to use evidence to justify they're right if they are abandoned. Do you want to be right or happy? You can't be both. "To change beliefs, we must learn to perceive them as abstract ideas separate from the world," states Gary van Warmerdam.
3. Love Yourself Without Limits: To disempower a belief, stop reinforcing it. My belief as a six year old, terrified of swimming in deep waters was, I'm weak and will never amount to anything. I compared myself to other children who could swim in deep waters. As an adult, I realised it was imprudent to pay attention to a six year old. Whilst it took me longer to learn to swim, I became proficient at it. I embraced myself irrespective of my fears, because I am already whole. I invite you to practice self-compassion despite your beliefs.
4. Create A New Dream: Design a new agreement which re-works the old belief. After you challenge the outdated belief, compose a new one in line with your Truth. Following on from my earlier example, my new belief became, I stand in my own power and know my true worth. It includes attributes for living in alignment with my authentic self. Gather evidence to support your new belief. Live it, breathe it and be it. In your new loving relationship you might reframe your unworthiness to: I love and approve of myself unconditionally.
How do you know whether your beliefs serve you? Your reality is an indicator. What do you need to pay attention to more in your life: career, relationships, health, finance, family, etc? You needn't carry worn out scripts from childhood any longer. As you form new beliefs, the outdated beliefs will fade away.
Your authentic self lies submerged beneath the rubble of outdated beliefs. If you don't reconcile them, you remain trapped in a self-imposed prison.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Your-Beliefs-Can-Set-You-Free-Or-Keep-You-Imprisoned&id=9439435
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