Boredom and Impatience Are Trying to Tell You Something

We live in a culture that beckons us to constant productivity, consumption, and stimulation. In the face of this momentum, the idea of taking time away from work, shopping, or entertainment seems like a total waste of time. This shows up very clearly if we try to do something like meditate. It's common to quickly get bored, restless, or impatient with what might seems to be "doing nothing." What's the point of this? What am I getting out of it? I could be doing something productive!

Yet what if boredom, restlessness, and impatience signal something deeper, something important to acknowledge and deal with? What if, instead of being prompted to rush off to more feats of economic prowess, accumulation, and stimulation, we use these feelings as indicators to dive deeper?

What if boredom, restlessness, and impatience arise when we are ready to make changes, especially inner changes that ask us to step beyond our current comfort zones?

Let's begin with a short story that demonstrates what might lie beneath restlessness.

Restless Legs, Restless Thoughts

This story comes from "Meditation: An In-Depth Guide" by Ian Gawler and Paul Bedson. They describe a meditation student John, who had restless legs and equally restless thoughts. (p.114, MAIG)

John was a very active guy, who loved sports and being in the gym. He had a "go get 'um" mentality and came to an 8-week meditation class ready to "master meditation." "However, he found it very difficult to even sit still; he had a nervous habit of constantly jiggling his legs up and down, a common form of restlessness. The movement of his thoughts matched his restless legs.

After two sessions John came to Paul and told him he wanted to drop out of the class, saying, 'I just can't do it-it's impossible for me to sit still!'" (p.114, MAIG)

Paul advised John to see if he could just notice the restless feelings with a gentle curiosity. Instead of seeing them as a problem, was it possible to just pay attention to them in a non-judgmental way? Could he refrain from self-criticism, from thinking he was failing at meditation, and just witness what was arising in his mind, without buying into it?

Would it be possible to be present with the thoughts "I can't do this, it's too hard" and "This is stupid and I'm not getting anywhere!" and "If only these thoughts would go away, then I could meditate!" (p.115, MAIG) without taking them seriously and without believing them?

For John, who was a proactive, take care of things, make things happen type of guy, this was a novel strategy-yet it worked! In just a few more sessions, he was able to just "sit with his feelings" and he became much more at ease with himself. As a result, he began to experience more of the inner peace he was looking for.

Sometimes that's all it takes to tame your restless mind-a little self-observation followed by a little self-acceptance-until a new state of being arises naturally. This state is hidden by the way you are looking at life and your feelings of boredom can prompt you to dig deeper to discover it. This is a good first strategy to deal with boredom and impatience in meditation and in life-recognize them, accept them, be present with them-and soon they resolve to reveal a new insight or way of being.

Yet, what about times when this strategy doesn't work? What about restlessness that cycles stronger and sucks you in deeper? This can signal a deeper defense you are ready to dismantle.

Identifying Your Deeper Defenses

When simple observation, acceptance, and presence don't free you from boredom and impatience, try to go a step farther. Your mind may be signaling you to become more conscious of a deeper defense, so you can release it to move forward to new possibilities.

Three steps can help: Label the thoughts related to your feeling of boredom and impatience, identify the beliefs behind them, and notice the consequences of this way of thinking. These three steps bring your defenses to light, dissolve their subconscious hold on your attention, and enable you to make new choices.

Step One: Label the type of thought

Thoughts can be categorized according to what they are doing. For example, you could be planning, worrying, lamenting, judging, criticizing, blaming, and so on...

In Step One, you simply name the type of thought you're having when you feel bored and impatient by giving a one-word label describing what the thought is doing.

Step Two: Identify the Belief behind the Thought

Beliefs are thoughts you invest with emotional significance. They are thoughts you strongly identify with. These are not just thoughts you think are true, they are thoughts you think are "you." At some level, consciously or subconsciously, you define "who you are" by these beliefs. Therefore, these thoughts become identified with your very existence, safety, and well-being.

Behind repetitive thoughts you can't seem to shake are deeply ingrained beliefs that originate from experiences of deep hurt. You don't want to experience those hurts again, so you learn thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that keep you from harm. These hurts and the accompanying beliefs are deeply defended in your subconscious.

For example, you might think: "If I just keep quiet and don't make waves, I'll be safe." Or, "If I don't make a big effort or commitment, I won't be disappointed." Or "If I don't express my true feelings, I won't get hurt."

Yet, these defensive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors also keep you from peace, joy, love, vitality, growth, learning, passion, and purpose you long for. They keep your body in a defensive mode that limits you from doing what you truly desire and from connecting deeply with others. That's why it's important to consciously recognize and release them.

In Step Two, you see if you can identify the defensive belief that is behind the thoughts that are cycling through your mind.

You can recognize these defensive beliefs in a couple simple ways:

-They tend to be strong judgments signaled by words such as "should, have to, ought to, can't, must."

-They tend to catastrophize, making everything seem bigger and more dangerous than it really is. They make everything feel huge and overwhelming and often come with the words "Always" or "Never."

Putting these together you get beliefs such as "You should never rock the boat," "I should always keep quiet," "You just can't show your weakness, ever!" "I'm never going to make it," "I'm never enough," and so on... Defensive beliefs aren't always phrased so strongly, but the underlying feeling about them is strong.

In Step Two, you seek the underlying belief that gives rise to the type of thinking you're mind is engaging in. You can recognize these by the strong emotional charge behind these inner statements. You can get at these beliefs by asking:

What belief am I using to protect myself, to keep myself in a safe comfort zone?

Step Three: Notice the Consequences of these Beliefs

The original purpose of defensive beliefs is to keep you safe. They keep you in a "comfort zone." Defensive beliefs have two primary consequences. They either make you "rigid," in "fight or freeze mode," or "retreat," in "flight mode." As life-long strategies, defensive beliefs are severely limiting.

Life is always asking you to learn, heal, and grow. Defensive beliefs cause you to resist growth, to guard against, to fight it-or to retreat in the face of the pressure. In other words, they put you in a state of distress. In fact, defensive beliefs make your life into a series of stressful events.

You can identify the consequences of your beliefs by asking two questions:

What is this belief accomplishing? What is it preventing?

When you consciously and clearly see the consequences of maintaining defensive beliefs, you naturally want to be free from the stress they cause. You want to be free from that suffering. You also see how they are holding you back. With those twin insights, you may naturally become more willing to investigate other possibilities.

You become more open to doing something different. When limiting beliefs have worn out their usefulness, when you are ready to grow beyond them, you feel bored and impatient.

A Two-Fold Strategy

So, when boredom and impatience arise, see if you can pay attention with curiosity and acceptance. See if you can let go of self-judgment and simply sit with these feelings. Notice if something shifts as you mindfully pay attention.

If boredom and impatience persist, investigate them more deeply using three steps:

1) Label the thoughts that accompany boredom and impatience by noticing what they are doing-planning, worrying, lamenting, criticizing, blaming...

2) Identify the beliefs underneath these thoughts.

3) Notice the consequences of thinking this way. Notice what this way of thinking is accomplishing and what it is preventing.

Are you satisfied with the way you are living?

If not, you can consciously choose to let those thoughts and beliefs go and pay attention to the deeper inspirations calling from the Core of your being. Ask yourself, "What is Life calling me to do in this moment?"

https://ezinearticles.com/?Boredom-and-Impatience-Are-Trying-to-Tell-You-Something&id=9987580

Anger Is Almost Always a Sign You've Been Quiet Too Long

Anger is a normal feeling that everyone experiences from time to time. Sometimes it's even a good thing, inspiring us to fight for justice or make changes to our lives. Anger often results when you perceive:

- you're being treated disrespectfully,

- your way of life is being threatened,

- you're being treated unfairly, or

- someone is being deliberately hostile to provoke you.

If you encounter these situations, get angry and return to your equilibrium reasonably soon, then you probably don't have an issue with anger.

The problem with anger comes when your response is inappropriate. For some people, the anger itself is more of a problem than the issue that incited the anger in the first place. Those people are too easily triggered to react angrily so they suppress the anger. The trouble with that is it erupts eventually, sometimes in very detrimental ways. Anger can surface years after the incident that caused it, and sometimes anger stays locked within us on a constant basis because it wasn't addressed properly to begin with.

When you have anger inside you on a long-term basis, you are more susceptible to mental health problems-like depression and anxiety-and physical health problems-like high blood pressure, heart disease, strokes, cancer and gastro-intestinal difficulties. If you find yourself erupting with anger and discover it is an overreaction to the situation, you may have carried that anger around quietly for too long. If so, it's time to learn to manage your anger.

Three Ways to Manage Your Anger

First, buy time. Counting to ten really can help you stop and think before you behave inappropriately. Take the time to breathe deeply. If you feel physically aggressive, like you might hit someone, walk out of the room. Take a walk. Talk yourself into being calm, and imagine yourself in a quiet, relaxing environment. Assess what you want out of the situation. Exploding in a rage probably won't get it for you.

Second, own your feelings. You're angry and you need to understand why. Talk it out with the people involved. Tell them why you're angry in a clear and calm way. You may even want to rehearse before you have the conversation. Be sure to go into it with an intention to listen. You may be surprised to learn that your assumption, which inspired your anger, might be incorrect and your anger will dissipate.

Third, stay strong. When you are mentally and physically healthy, you are better able to cope with issues that make you angry. So do all the things your mother always tells you-eat a balanced diet, exercise, don't drink too much or use drugs. Keep in touch with a supportive group of friends. Take time to meditate or do yoga. When your body and mind are fit, you are better able to deal with things that go wrong.

It's time to seek help when your anger is out of control and you can't seem to manage it. Therapy can help you explore why you get angry, why it's a problem for you, and what you can do to change the way you respond.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Anger-Is-Almost-Always-a-Sign-Youve-Been-Quiet-Too-Long&id=7888927

It Takes Courage To Become Who You Really Are

It takes courage to become who you really are because it means turning into the person you know deep in your heart that you should be. Change takes audacity and willpower. But it also implies getting rid of beliefs you have embraced and implemented from people around you over the years.

What did you really wanted to be when you were growing up? Who did you want to be? What desire does light a fire in your soul?

Most times, people think about things they want to have, who they need to be, and how they would like others to perceive them. But they often let go of the dreams they truly desire and forget to reflect on how to be remembered. Time after time, they identify with memories, holding onto the past, assuming these things are defining who they are.

Yet, it takes an immense amount of courage actually to be who you really are. It is not easy to abandon beliefs and convictions which through the years, you adopted from your parents, relatives, friends, teachers, coaches, mentors, and spouse. And yes, it takes courage and work to let go of those things. But now is the time to take a stand for who you are deep inside, and the things you really believe in.

Examine Your Beliefs

Currently, you have a set of beliefs and assumptions, some of which you accepted way back in your early childhood and defended ever since. Once acquired and imprinted, you rarely question these beliefs. You naturally assume that they are all true.

If, for example, you believe that it is hard to make money; well then, it is difficult to make money. Most people often doubt and analyze almost every aspect of their lives, but their beliefs are the last thing they challenge. It takes courage to change things around.

So, if you have problems in some areas of your life, you need to examine all of your beliefs. If you have financial difficulties, look carefully at your principles about money. You have to pay attention to negative statements or views such as "I never have enough money" or "It is impossible to get ahead." Your beliefs get lodged deeply into your subconscious which continually works at creating your reality.

Making Changes Takes Courage

You have to adopt new life-believing principles, living and thinking differently. If your subconscious is picking up negativity or limiting suggestions too often, then it will accept them as real. It will work with those beliefs, day and night, until ultimately, bringing the corresponding events you hold in your mind.

When you accept limitations about yourself, then you believe that they are real until you find out otherwise. Your mind, convinced, will magnify any incidents that support your view, and will ignore or dismiss events which point to the opposite. It will distort your perception of reality and work overtime to manifest those realities.

So, it takes courage and determination to make changes and be who you really want to be. But if you change your beliefs, you change your focus, and in time it will create a new reality. No one said it would be easy. New thoughts and views are tough to imprint but not impossible.

New Thoughts New Reality

While trying to create new beliefs, you might doubt things are changing. You may feel discouraged and wonder if you are wasting your time. Your mind will try to fool you by telling you that it won't work or that nothing will happen.

However, push all of it aside, continue to feed your mind with the beliefs you want, and be patient. It takes courage to become who you really are. Everything in existence is changing. Nothing remains the same. Your circumstances are forever changing and becoming something else.

So, how could your new thoughts, if you persist in believing and imprinting them, do anything but bring you a new reality? Think about it! Let go of the wrong beliefs you have. Ask yourself about the things you want out of life and become your true self.

It Takes Courage to Let Go

Too often, you get attached to things and people, as if they are a part of you. Then you wonder why you feel somehow broken when a relationship ends or something changes. But those things are not who you are. You are not who you were in the past. And you are not the person some people judge you to be.

Therefore, who you are is the result of what you choose to think and do. It takes courage to let go, grow, and change into the person that you really are, without all of the fuss around you. The word 'courage' is French, and its true meaning is 'heart.'

And so, this why you have to follow your heart to become the person you know deep inside you came here to be. In that way, you will manifest the life you honestly dream to have. You can then have a life where everything you experience is yours and only yours.

How to Get More Courage

In every one of you, since childhood, there is a built-in desire that pushes you to want to explore the untapped potential which lies within you. But most of the time, you are afraid to become who you really are. You do not know how to get the courage to find out what you can be. Yet, if you do not, you will end up working really hard for someone who does.

So, find the courage to do the right thing by choosing for you, and not someone else. You do not deserve to live a stressful life oriented or forced by others around you. Choose based on who you want to be, and then honor that choice with your actions. Let go of what others may think!

And let go of people telling you just to be satisfied with what you have or where you are. You know you have the ability to do and be so much more. However, if you allow yourself to grow, take courage because along your journey, you might doubt your willpower to succeed and the impact you can make.

Courage in Action

As a result, you may have hundreds of other reasons as to why your growth is being obstructed in some areas of your life. But you can change the script of your life by getting more courage and become who you really are. Courage in action pays off!

So, if you want to be you truly, be happy with every fiber of your being, and become your real self, you have to get a life that makes your heart sing and fills your cup with joy every day. Only then, will you find happiness and purpose in life! It takes courage to do some inner work so that you can grow to become who you really are. But you deserve to live life with authenticity, every single day.

https://ezinearticles.com/?It-Takes-Courage-To-Become-Who-You-Really-Are&id=9890317

Message From the Universe: Love Everything You Already Have!

"I'd say the biggest decision of your life was not your career, your marital status, or your home... it was choosing to love as often as you have.

You lover, The Universe" I see many people I have coached in the past settle in their career, their spouse and their living arrangement. They just accepted what life have given them. They stopped looking to better themselves and look for other opportunities to grow. They are afraid of venturing out and seeking new challenges, new options so they can feel proud of their accomplishments and not live life with regrets. Since we do not know of when is our time to go (leave our physical body). it is important to take advantage of the time you have on earth, and make sure you are taking advantage of every single minute you have here. Love everything you do, love every people you meet and greet, love your career, your spouse and where you live. If you are unhappy with those, don't settle. Be willing to make changes, to turn things around for yourself and look for a better life overall. You want to enjoy everything God have given you but you can also challenge yourself to get more out of life. We are all born with a brain, but it is up to you to feed this organ with valuable information and succeed. I agree that some may have talents that others do not, that's a given. However, talents are there because you enable yourself to practice a certain skill that allows you to become great in what you do. Talents will just facilitate and expedite the process of learning that skills, but you still need to practice, no matter what. We are all on the same level when we are born, despite our direct family surroundings and opportunities. Of course, newborns fed with a silver spoon will have access to better education, better opportunities and so much more, unlike the other 99% of the population who do not have that kind of luxury. That doesn't mean that no one on the 99% of the population didn't take initiative on their own and succeeded better than the ones fed with a silver spoon. I have seen so many born in rich families ending up in jail because of drugs use or whatever else. I am aware of some of the reasons why those kind of scenarios happens in rich families but again, it's all about choices you take in your life. You have the control and it is up to you to make the best of everything you have been given in your life. With the right attitude, you can accomplish anything you put your mind into. Don't settle for mediocrity, you are worth way more.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Love-Everything-You-Already-Have!&id=9532735

Refuse to Live a Life Less Than You Deserve!

The opportunity to live in purpose has been made available to all of us. But our beliefs, thoughts and actions hold us back. You have the power to make changes that will manifest a better life for you and those you are called to serve. I am a firm believer that we all were created to live a happy, fulfilled and prosperous life emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially.

Why be satisfied with where you are currently at in life when there is more available to you? And it is not all about having more in the area of finances, but that is a part of it. But what about being satisfied in the areas of your life that are not related to finances? What about being happy with things that money can't buy but are priceless? What about prospering in the area of purpose? What about manifesting an abundance of peace and joy in your life? What about living life everyday knowing that you are living the life you were designed to live? Those things are all priceless and extremely valuable, and can attract things in your life that money could never buy.

It is your moment to begin seeing yourself as the successful person you were born to be. And that means successful on every level mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially. You already have everything that you need to live the life you desire and deserve to live. You just need to tap into your gifts and talents and activate them. Too many times we go around living a life less than we deserve to live, and once again that just doesn't mean financially. But many times individuals are walking around feeling purpose-less, and that is not rewarding. If you are still breathing then you still have purpose. You have a reason for existing. And your life has meaning.

One of the blessings of life is life. The fact that you woke up this morning is a blessing. And that is regardless of what is going on in your life. You must be aware of the fact that you have so many things to be thankful for. And you can attract and manifest more things to be thankful for. Don't wait until tomorrow. Begin to take steps to be all that you were designed to be today!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Refuse-to-Live-a-Life-Less-Than-You-Deserve!&id=9530040

Message From the Universe: You Are Yourself, Regardless of Others!

"It isn't easy at first but one of the greatest gifts you could ever give someone who makes your heart soar is the freedom to learn their own lessons, at their own pace.

Even trickier is discovering that one of the greatest gifts you could ever give someone who gets on your nerves is the freedom to learn their own lessons, at their own pace.

And perhaps most challenging of all is understanding that one of the greatest gifts you could ever give yourself is the realization that your heart soaring and your nerves fraying have never been dependent upon other people and their lessons.

Tallyho,

The Universe"

Many lives a codependent relationship with others and do whatever it takes to make others happy. We sometimes forget ourselves in the process just to make sure the other person won't get their feelings hurt. We sometimes live our lives to guarantee others happiness, at the expense of our own. We lose ourselves in someone's else dream or goals and that other person grows spiritually while we are left on the back burner. As our energy signature changes, our connection to that person does as well. Besides money problems or infidelity, married couples need to work extremely hard to keep that connection alive, and some couple fail doing so. They don't realize that, unlike the two main reasons for divorce occurs in many couple, when you lose connection with your significant other, you need to address the problem immediately. The good thing is those kind of problems are reversible. Losing connection is temporary, as long as you work on making personal and couple changes. Both have to be involved in the process or all is lost. You can't be the one growing at a regular pace and the other stagnates. Further you grow from that other person, more the disconnect will intensify. Do whatever you need to do to make changes, TOGETHER.

When two people get together, they have the right intention to stay together. No one wants to lose their kids with divorce or an ex that wants revenge because of past marital problems (infidelity or addictions). However, things like that do happen to many couples around the globe. Is there a solution? Definitely. Problems ONLY exist because the solution is already close by. Einstein said: " Problems cannot be solved by the same mind that created them". Pretty profound statement and true. If your mind creates a problem, you will be too consumed to find a solution, and if you do, the solution will never be optimal. Hence, the reason why married couple uses the help of therapist. A third eye perspective is needed in situations like this. To make relationship work, you need to be your own person, never be dependent on ANYONE and learn to accept yourself for who you are. Once you do that, people will learn to do the same for you.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-You-Are-Yourself,-Regardless-of-Others!&id=9512920

Why Hire A Personal Life Coach?

Here are a few key reasons how hiring a Personal Life Coach can unlock your highest potential.

1. Done with therapy. It can feel great to talk about our problems but it doesn't solve them. We can look at what we think is wrong all day long. Or we can change our perspective. Looking back and analysing only gets us so far. We need to take action.
2. Feeling stuck. People can feel stuck in life and in their current situation. When you are involved in the detail of your life, it can be difficult to see your options. Coaching helps you to see all potential options and understand limiting beliefs so you can really see what is possible.
3. Feeling lost. Many clients find that they have ended up in a career or a relationship and don't know how they got there. It isn't their passion. It may not be what they studied or wished for. They can feel lost and confused, unsure about how to make changes in their life. Their confidence could be low. They experience the benefit of having support, encouragement and accountability that a coach offers. Coaches ask the questions and the clients have the answers. It's about unlocking a persons potential which is lying dormant.
4. Unhappy. People can be unhappy for a number of reasons and become familiar with this state of being. Coaching is positive outcome focused, so we are not relying on analysing the unhappiness and digging up old ground. We look at where you are now and how you want your life to be. And then focus on moving in the right direction.
5. Being Comfortable. Your comfort zone is the zone of safety. Or is it? It is scary yet amazing to feel the buzz when you move out of your comfort zone. Coaching enables people to see their potential and move towards it, without the negative voices or distractions holding you back. The closer you are to moving out of your comfort zone, the louder the voice of doubt and fear becomes. So having a coach is invaluable at helping you to create the life you really want before any self sabotaging behaviours appear.
6. Feeling scared. Change is scary and it can prevent us from taking action which would lead us to our happiest self.
7. Feeling happy. Coaching isn't only for people who relate to any of the above instances. When you are feeling great, this is an excellent time to hire a coach to get you feeling even greater. We are never fixed or sorted. We always have more growing and developing to do. We have so much potential which we can unlock further.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Hire-A-Personal-Life-Coach?&id=9624363

How To Boost Self-Confidence - Your Powerful Guide To Help You Start

It would be great to have this outlook and you can be that person, too. This article contains some tips on how to be confident.

1. Avoid Negativity and Always Be Positive

You may need to assess your inner circle, such as your family and friends. While this is hard, it may be time to consider staying away from the people who shred your confidence and put you down.

Always be positive, even when you do not feel it quite yet. Have a positive enthusiasm with the way you interact with others and keep your excitement when starting a new project. Instead of focusing on your problems, start thinking about how to resolve them and make positive changes.

2. Do Not Accept Failure

Do not give up and always think that all problems have solutions. It will boost your confidence when you succeed through an immense hardship.

Negative thoughts often cause low self-esteem. If you always say that you are not good enough, you will become what you are thinking. When you are feeling any negativity, turn it right away to positive encouragement and try to maintain it until you have that self-confidence boost.

3. Make Some Changes

Your body language and facial expressions play an important role in building your confidence. By simply pulling your shoulders back, it will give the impression to others that you are confident. When you smile to people, they will be more comfortable with you and you will also feel better.

Make eye contact to the one you are talking to and speak slowly. Take time to speak clearly and slowly so you will appear more confident to others. Moreover, they will actually understand what you are telling them.

It will also help if you dress nicely and style your hair. This will give you more confidence, make you feel good about yourself, and others will likely see you as confident and successful.

4. Always Be Prepared

Discover everything that you need to know about your task, presentation, field, or no matter what you would do next. If you are equipped with knowledge and always prepared, this will help you increase your self-confidence.

5. Make a Great List

There are times in life when it is really hard to stay confident because of all those difficulties that you encounter. Relax and take a moment to create a list of everything that you are grateful for, and another list for your accomplishments that you are proud of.

After completing your lists, post them on a wall by your desk, on your mirror, on your refrigerator door, or anywhere you can easily see to remind you that you have a wonderful life. If you think that your confidence is dropping, just look at those lists and feel inspired again.

The most significant secret to increasing self-confidence is to take a small action day after day that helps you to build up about your body and mind.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Boost-Self-Confidence---Your-Powerful-Guide-To-Help-You-Start&id=9387287

Anger: Let It Go

When we fully feel, experience and are present with an emotion, it only lasts for short periods of time (minutes to hours).

But what about the person who always seems to be angry, depressed, grumpy or in a bad mood? They have turned what is an emotion into a state. A state is created by the mind when you replay things over and over again.

When we watch a bad movie, do we watch it again and again? Of course not! So why would you replay a 'bad' event in your life over and over again in your head? All it serves to do is to reinforce the emotion over and over again.

Here are some strategies my patients and I have found helpful in letting go of bad states:

• Write and journal your feelings. If it was a person who angered you, write them a letter. Once you've gotten everything out on paper. Burn it or throw it away.

• If you are feeling the need to move or hit something, try a punching bag or a pillow. That way, you get exercise at the same time. It's also a positive way to release stored up energy.

• Try meditation to calm your mind. There are great app's like Headspace that teach beginners how to meditate.

• Try something new. Take up a new hobby, sport, etc. Channel your emotions into something positive and creative.

• Focus on things that you have control over. You are in charge of the way you feel, how you react and your perspective on a situation. You can't control how someone else reacts. Recognize where you can make changes and work in those areas.

• Find a friend and ask for 5 minutes to rant. After 5 minutes, your time is up and you move on.

• Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Perhaps they were having a bad day before they met you, maybe there's too much on their plate or they are overworked and stressed. How often have you acted out in times of stress?

• Forgive. Picture them in your mind and say to them "I forgive you".

• Identify the lesson. In each situation, you can learn something about yourself or life. Ask yourself, what is the lesson here? If it was someone else that triggered your anger, ask yourself, what buttons exist within you that were pushed? Do you have a need to be right? An expectation of being perfect? Did you get upset because one of your expectations were not met?

• If you are still having trouble letting go or something traumatic has happened to you, please come in for a consult or seek further help.

Physical, emotional and mental tension that is not resolved gets stored in your body. Over time, you run out of 'storage space' and secondary conditions such as pain, can occur. Learn to optimize your nervous system by letting go.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Anger:-Let-It-Go&id=9478994

Message From the Universe: Appearances Can Be Deceiving!

"Do you want to know what the single toughest thing about figuring out time and space is? About finally making progress by leaps and bounds? The one thing that would heal every broken heart and vanquish every emotional pain? That would clear the way for infinite abundance, perfect health, and unlimited happiness?

Not relying on appearances.

Just stop it.

You so can, 

The Universe"

Appearances can be deceiving, so avoid basing all your upcoming decisions on these factors. If you want to trust someone, trust yourself. You are the only one who can make changes, especially changes from within. Don't expect the outside world to do anything for you, because no one really cares. Everyone have their own problems to deal with. So if you want abundance, perfect health and ultimate happiness, make sure you do everything in your power to obtain it. Starting with having the right thoughts is a requirement to making all this work well but never forget to put in the action behind these thoughts. If you eat fast food, do not expect to have the perfect health, which will ultimately stop you from being happy because of how you look, which inadvertently will hinder on your desire to have abundance in your life because of your physical condition. Everything in life is interrelated, so don't expect to do one thing and it not having a direct impact on your life further down the road. You reap what you sow, so just make sure that you come out of it a winner. There is no mystery in life, even though it seems like nothing is really straightforward like you would wish it was. It is not because you will work very hard that you will see positive results from your efforts. Sometimes, it can work against you but you shouldn't let that bring you down. In some cases, the route that you took when working very hard wasn't the optimal one and something else is needed to make it a success.

When you hear about someone reaching ultimate wealth, you look at it as being an overnight success. This is how it appears to you, but as you and I know well, overnight for you means something totally different for that successful person. I am sure that you are not ignorant to a point where you think that overnight is possible. Even with incredible and desirable luck, you can't really accomplish this kind of ultimate success in less than 5 to 7 years. Lots get put into the required work and time and sacrifices to make all of what you see happen or exist. That is why so many just give up, regardless of the potential of their idea. Many will not even try because they are too afraid to fail, hence, if I don't try, there is NO chance I will ever fail, so the fear goes away. For others, when they see that the going gets tough, they feel the journey isn't for them, so they just go back to doing what is safe. And for the rest of the 3% of the population who do cross that uncomfortable zone, that journey of insurmountable obstacles, the stress and anxiety, the loneliness, the constant fear looming over their mind on a daily basis, their success is well deserved when they lead the other 97% who decided to give up. So you say overnight success? I digress. Go out there and look for that overnight success entrepreneur and ask them questions about their path to success. You will not be surprised of their answers.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Appearances-Can-Be-Deceiving!&id=9466289

NLP Strategies for Shopaholics and Other Impulsive Behaviours

Why do some people shop til they drop? Because they use the wrong strategies. When you understand your strategies, you will discover the key factor(s) driving (some of) your behavior. Then you will be able to choose whether to make changes to your strategy.

The Four Major Categories of Strategies:

Decision

Learning

Motivation

Belief

A Well Formed Strategy:

has a clear definition of the goal you wish to achieve

has both internal and external forms of achieving your goal

uses 3 senses (seeing, hearing, feeling) or more to achieve the goal

has a logical sequence and no missing steps

has the least number of steps to achieve the goal

produces action after a set number of steps / specific length of time

has a natural test - operate - test - exit progression.

1 TEST = compare where you are now with where you wish to be

2 OPERATE = do what you need to do to close the gap left by the comparison

3 TEST again from where you are now

4 EXIT

5 Ways to Install a Strategy:

Role play

Mental rehearsal

Anchoring - associating one thing with another

Reframing - giving a situation a different meaning

Metaphor

3 Ways to Change a Strategy:

Sequence: change the sequence / order of activities that make up the strategy

State: change your physiological state of being

Content: change the content of your strategy

The Value of Strategies in Daily Life:

When you understand your strategies, you will discover the key factor(s) driving (some of) your behavior. And then you will be able to choose whether to make changes to your strategy.

Shopoholics, if you have a buying strategy that when you see something you like, you buy it on impulse, this doesn't work, because it's

1. you see it - 2. you feel you want it - 3. you buy it

and so it's missing some steps. Insert some TEST step into the sequence, such as talk to yourself about whether you need / can afford it, think about the consequences, or make several comparisons before you buy it. For example:

1. see it - 2. feel you want it - 3. ask yourself whether you need and can afford it - 4. compare it with more items - 5. feel you still want it - 6. buy it

I used the example of shopoholic, but you can use this approach for any other impulsive behaviour.

http://ezinearticles.com/?NLP-Strategies-for-Shopaholics-and-Other-Impulsive-Behaviours&id=9234590

Rohn: 4 Straightforward Steps to Success

Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced every day.

Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying basic fundamentals.

I’ve said it before, that success is the study of the obvious—but sometimes we need someone to remind us and show us the simplest way to get there.

Here are four simple steps to find your way to more success than you could ever imagine:

1. Collect good ideas. My mentor taught me to keep a journal when I was 25 years old. It’s the best collecting place for all of the ideas and information that comes your way. And that inspiration will be passed on to my children and my grandchildren.

If you hear a good health idea, capture it, write it down. Then on a cold wintry evening or a balmy summer night, go back through your journal. Dive back into the ideas that changed your life, the ideas that saved your marriage, the ideas that bailed you out of hard times, the ideas that helped you become successful. That’s valuable, going back over the pages of ideas you gathered over the years, reminiscing, reminding yourself. So be a collector of good ideas, of experiences, for your business, for your relationships, for your future.

It is challenging to be a student of your own life, your own future, your own destiny. Don’t trust your memory. When you listen to something valuable, write it down. When you come across something important, write it down. Take the time to keep notes and to keep a journal.

2. Have good plans. Building a life, building anything, is like building a house; you need to have a plan. What if you just started laying bricks and somebody asks, “What are you building?” You put down the brick you’re holding and say, “I have no idea.”

So, here’s the question: When should you start building the house? Answer: As soon as you have it finished. It’s simple time management.

Don’t start the day until it is pretty well finished—at least the outline of it. Leave some room to improvise, leave some room for extra strategies, but finish it before you start it. Don’t start the week until you have it finished. Lay it out, structure it, put it to work. The same goes for the month ahead—don’t start it until you have a plan in place.

And, the big one, don’t start the year until it is finished on paper. It’s not a bad idea, toward the end of the year, to sit down with your family for the personal plans, to sit down in your business for the professional plans, to sit down with your financial advisor to map out money plans. Plan out your calendar, your game plan, for all of life’s moving parts.

The reason why most people face the future with apprehension instead of anticipation is because they don’t have it well designed.

3. Give yourself time. It takes time to build a career. It takes time to make changes. It takes time to learn, grow, change, develop and produce. It takes time to refine philosophy and activity. So give yourself time to learn, time to start some momentum, time to finally achieve.

I remember when Mama was teaching me a little bit about the piano. “Here is the left hand scale,” she said. I got that; it was easy. “Here is the right hand scale.” I got that, too. Then she said, “Now we are going to play both hands at the same time.” “Well, how can you do that?” I asked. Because one at a time was easy... but two the same time? But I got to where I could play the scales with both hands. “Now we are going to read the music and play with both hands,” she said. You can’t do all that, I thought. But you know, sure enough I looked at the music, looked at each hand, a little confused at first, but finally I grasped it. Then I remember the day when Mama said, “Now we are going to watch the audience, read the music and play with both hands. Now that is going too far! I thought. How could one person possibly do all that? By giving myself time to master one skill before we went to the next, I got to where I could watch the audience, read the music and play with both hands.

Life is not just the passing of time. Life is the collection of experiences and their intensity.

4. Change yourself. Learn to solve problems—business problems, family problems, financial problems, emotional problems. The best way to treat a challenge? As an opportunity to grow. Change if you have to, modify if you must, discard an old philosophy that wasn’t working well for a new one.

The best phrase my mentor ever gave me: “Mr. Rohn, if you will change, everything will change for you.” I took that to heart, and sure enough, the more I improved, the more everything improved for me.

You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.

http://www.success.com/article/rohn-4-straightforward-steps-to-success

4 Signs You Are Sabotaging Your Own Success

Many entrepreneurs say they fear failure, but in reality, they fear success, so they unwittingly sabotage themselves. How do you know your sabotaging your own success? Your actions will tell you.

It's easy to get wrapped up in the idea of success. You imagine how wonderful it will be when your company takes off and how you will spend the money you make.

This is what you say you are thinking, but do your decisions and actions tell a different story?

Are you telling the world that you want to succeed and are afraid of failure - but in reality, you are terrified of being successful instead? Do you inadvertently sabotage your chances?

Here are some tell-tale signs you are sabotaging your own success:

1 - You don't make changes.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

When you let fear of success control you that is what you do. You watch different aspects of your company struggle day in and day out, but you don't try new methods or put alternative practices into place to make tomorrow better.

This is a common question I ask entrepreneurs who feel buried in their business. What did you do today to make tomorrow better? What technology could you invest in or process could you document to make your business run more efficiently?

2 - You change course too quickly.

It takes a new initiative about 6-9 months to prove out whether or not it works and you must allow this time. You can sabotage your success by stopping good practices too soon.

Did you stop attending a networking event before you solidified important connections? Are you keeping up with your weekly blog posts? Are you discouraged that no one shared your one social media post or that you didn't gain any followers the week you "tried out Twitter"?

All of these important activities require consistency, patience and focus. The payoff is rarely realized until significant time has been spent.

3 - You haven't set any goals.

It is important to establish goals to measure your success and to help you plan for the future. It's when you see your company passing milestones that you have an understanding of the success you have experienced. This feeling of accomplishment prevents you and your team from giving up too soon.

The goals you set must include actions to be taken at each achievement--hiring a new employee, introducing a new technology or process, looking for outside funding--so you can successfully handle new business without it becoming a burden.

4 - You take unnecessary risks.

Risk is an entrepreneur's drug of choice. While it is true that some risk is necessary to be successful in business, I see many entrepreneurs implode their core business because they take on an unnecessary risk or bet their main money making enterprise on something untested or new.

It's far better to establish new ideas or concepts separately with a distinct budget and operating group to provide for transparency and accountability.

When kept as part of the overall business, it's hard to measure if a new risk is successful or not and it can easily drag the entire business down.

An awareness of the ways you are sabotaging your own success will help you address the tendency before it impacts you and your business.

http://www.inc.com/eric-holtzclaw/4-signs-you-are-sabotaging-your-own-success.html

4 Tips on How to Overcome Shyness

Shyness is defined as feeling uncomfortable in social situations to the point where we don't enjoy ourselves. When you find yourself around other people, do you feel stress? Does your shyness interfere or lower your performance at work? Do you often find yourself avoiding social situations all together? If so, you will benefit from some tips on how to overcome shyness.

Learning how to overcome shyness begins with accepting your condition and challenging yourself to make changes. Don't expect results over night as there is no 'magic pill', but with effort and determination you too can learn how to overcome shyness. Here are four tips on how to overcome shyness that may help you feel more comfortable in social situations.

4 Tips on how to Overcome Shyness

1. Affirmations

Affirmations can be defined as "something declared to be true; a positive statement or judgment." Shy people are well versed at beating themselves up with negative affirmations such as, "I'm boring", "Why did I just stay that?", "What an idiot I am, "boy am I a loser", etc., etc. I challenge you to write down as many negative qualities that you (or others may have said to you) have been holding onto. Look for common themes and then wire out an affirmation on the positive aspect of this self-judgment. (For example if "loser" is a common theme the positive aspect would be "I am a winner"; a more detailed affirmation would read, "I am an interesting and worthy person".) Affirmations are effective if you repeat them to yourself (or out loud in front of a mirror) several times a day for a few minutes.

2. Open the vault, take a good look and let go.

How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel unworthy? Perhaps thoughts like; 'I don't fit in because I am not smart/interesting/good looking enough? Why is everyone looking at me?' Take a minute to reflect about how you see yourself and identify the root cause of your shyness. (eg weak self-image) Sometimes we can be too narcissistic and take ourselves too seriously. Give serious thought to accepting your shyness as opposed to beating yourself up about it and fighting it. Being able to accept and laugh off weaknesses can take the pressure off allowing you to move forward.

3. Get out there!

Small steps at first, but challenging yourself to get out there is a key component on how to overcome shyness. You may feel like you have to "fake it" or "act confident" but with a commitment to a positive self-image and a shift in your attitude, it is possible. Facing your demons is uncomfortable as is learning from your mistakes. Some 'getting out there' examples include:

* Join clubs or groups where you have an interest, knowledge or experience.

* When in social situations, make a habit of always introducing yourself. Remember to smile, firm handshake, and eye contact, displaying confident body language.

* Make an effort to talk to as many different people as you can when you are out or set a goal... ' eg. every time I go out I'm going to talk to 1/2/3 new people." Keep records.

* Be approachable... do others think you are hostile, aloof or stuck up? Often shy people are mislabeled this way. Body language is key; stand tall, keep your head up, smile, etc., as this will help send out positive vibes and draw people to you.

4. Prepare in Advance

Are you a good conversationalist? If not, this is certainly a skill that can be improved that will help boost your confidence. Some tips on having a good conversation include:

* Desirable body language. (Everything from not slouching to your clothes, your smile and remembering to floss!)

* Be dedicated to the conversation. Be in the moment, really listening to the other person.

* Show genuine interest in the other person, they fascinate you!

* Use compliments often.

* Avoid "I" talk. General rule of thumb is: Listen lots, ask questions, offer compliments and avoid talking about yourself continuously.

* Know your strengths. What are you knowledgeable about?

* Use of appropriate humor is great! Laughing at your self during awkward pauses in the conversation is awesome. Hey, it's certainly OK to admit to the other person that small talk is not your forte or that you are naturally a little shy.

* Breathe! Think of yourself as an actor... Remember sometimes you have to 'fake it'!

The key to a good conversation is your mental approach or your game plan. You DON'T have to impress anyone, so take the pressure and worry off yourself. If you show genuine interest in the other person and make them feel important the environment becomes relaxed and comfortable.

Overcoming shyness is no easy task. There are many ideas out there on how to overcome shyness but there is no 'one size fits all' solution to this problem. For someone who is shy, it will take a lot of positive work, self-analysis, as well as changes in behavior patterns to overcome shyness. With effort and dedication you will be able to become more confident and open.

https://ezinearticles.com/?4-Tips-on-How-to-Overcome-Shyness&id=8775362