Creating Pathways to Happiness

Like all living things, we have survival instincts.

Innately, it seems, our brain wants to hold onto negative experiences. In order to survive, we need to learn from those things that have had a negative impact and attempt not to repeat them.

This might be good for the survival of the species, yet as individuals we must not only learn, but also find a way to mentally let go of the negatives, or we won't be able to move into a happier, more positive future.

The flip side of this is that good experiences tend to pass through our memories far too quickly -- unless we are mindful of them.

Taking a moment to appreciate good things will help to cement them in our minds. This is an essential step in learning to calm your mind.

A good place to begin is to focus on the 'small' things that bring you happiness. We want to create a stockpile of these and the good feelings they produce, and hold them in reserve.

Perhaps your happy moments include a sunny day, a great book, or a private joke with a friend or family member.

University of California, Berkley neuropsychologist Dr. Rick Hanson advocates the idea of replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts so that we refocus and retrain our brains. Hanson stresses the importance of being mindful of both positive and negative experiences, as both can be instructive.

His technique for changing the brain requires acknowledging -- not denying or suppressing -- the negative feeling, and taking time to experience the loss, the frustration, the pain.

Once the negative is fully realized and understood, which could take only a moment for small stressors or much longer for deep grief (although good therapy can accelerate this process), the next step is to find a way to minimize or let go of the negative.

Relax a little, take a deep breath, use your imagination to draw a mental circle around any harmful thoughts, as if placing them in a balloon, and then release them, letting them float off and leave. Perhaps cry a little. Tears can have a wonderful, healing, therapeutic effect, and they can be shed by the emotion of happiness as well as sadness.

After you're able to let go of the negative, it's time to shift your focus to something positive. Perhaps it's a happy memory of someone you're grieving, or remembering a frustrating project from the past that you've finally completed successfully.

By taking just a little step back, learning to interrupt the negative and shift the mind to something more positive, we can retrain our brains to access more happiness.

Genetics and innate impulses can be tempered with a little training and some thoughtful effort. By regularly using our mind and our brain to access more positive states, we can create fresh neural pathways and so alter the way we function and feel. To use the language of neuroscience, 'neurons that fire together wire together.'

Our brain has an amazing capacity for learning, and it's up to us to teach our own brain the pathways to happiness.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Creating-Pathways-to-Happiness&id=9490997

Letting Go of Shame

There is no such thing as shame. It is just an artificially inculcated thought, forcing us to wrongly believe that not disappointing others is more important than not disappointing ourselves. It is time to let this unuseful belief go.

According to the hierarchy of people around you, you should be at the top. Your own happiness is the most important one.

You can't make others happy unless you are happy with yourself.

That´s a simple fact.

Because your own happiness is the source of the happiness of others around you. Therefore, your own happiness is simply the most important thing in your life, which you need to take care of.

And shame is not part of happiness at all. It simply doesn't belong to it. It never did and never will.

Shame is just a toxic and totally useless feeling that has been implanted in you, "saying" that you have done something that you were "not supposed to", or that you haven't pleased somebody you were "supposed to", in the way she/he expected from you. Shame is a feeling that has been imposed on you, then not consciously chosen by you. Why on earth would you freely choose a feeling, which is one of the obstacles to your happiness?

And who would know, better than you, what you are supposed or not supposed to anyway?

Who would know the path towards your own happiness, better than you?

Shame has always been a great way for others (including institution, government, and many religions) to manipulate you. For example, it is in the highest interest of institutions like government to foster and increase the feeling of shame in you, so you can be easily manipulated and controlled.

It is time to let go of shame, and mainly of the thought of shame itself.

It is time to be free again.

Shame never helps you; shame only prevents you from becoming better, stronger and happier.

Shame is not meant to be part of your life and happiness. It never was and never will be.

The good news is that shame is just a feeling. And, because any kind of negative feeling (shame is one of the most negative feelings) can be let go, the same applies for shame.

I can't express strongly enough what a dramatic impact letting go of shame has on life. I can refer to my own experience. Once the feeling of shame vanishes, you immediately feel lighter, more relaxed and happier. It is very difficult to be controlled by others, because simply there is not any "leverage" that could allow them to control you anymore. It is difficult not to be happy when there is no feeling of shame and guilt anymore. And remember, it is just a feeling - we already know that any negative feeling can be let go, once and forever.

In general, shame has got many faces and we usually have so many different kinds of thoughts and memories connected to shame that might also be suppressed deeply in our bodies (it is one of the most suppressed feelings in general), which quite often requires many letting go sessions. But, it's worth every penny and the long term impact is life changing once we learn how to let go of the feelings of shame.

One of the best ways to start letting go of shame is letting go of the feeling of having shame because of feeling shame (it might sound a bit confusing at first glance, but when you really think of it, you will realize that this is the most common kind of shame - feeling guilt and shame because we feel ashamed).

All of that can, and should be, let go.

Here is the letting go process for shame:

1. Find a quiet place, where nobody can disturb you. Shame is a very intimately perceived feeling and it is important to be just with yourself when letting go of shame for the first time.

2. Close your eyes and bring up any recent feeling of shame, or feeling of being ashamed.

3. Start embracing and experiencing these feelings fully.

4. Sometimes, this can be really hard and unpleasant, but it is only for a while. It is important to continue. Also, there can be some stronger immediate emotional expressions as shame is being released. Dont block anything; it will last only a small moment.

5. Start surrendering yourself to these feelings; let them express themselves fully all over your body (or any other part where you feel them most intensively). Don't push them back; don't block them or act on them either. Just let them be in their natural way and instead, be an independent observer of them, as if they weren't even yours. Be an observer and let any emotions come out, as they want to.

6. Try not to connect these feelings to any stories or circumstances; try not to rationalize them. Try not to think about them at all. Just look at them as pure emotion, which want to be expressed and released. Don't judge them; don't push them back; just observe.

7. After a while, make a decision about letting the feeling of shame go once and forever, and then let it actually go and disappear.

8. Because the amount of negative feelings related to shame can be quite often pretty intense and deep, you will probably need to repeat steps 1-5 several times. Also, make this a daily practice if any kind of other feelings of shame come up anytime soon. Shame sometimes requires some time (weeks and months) to be completely let go.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Letting-Go-of-Shame&id=9472450

Letting Go of Physical Pain

Any kind of pain is, in fact, just a feeling. And because any feeling can be let go, then even any pain can be overcome.

One of the greatest advantages of the letting go process is its full capability to heal almost any physical issue.

In its essence, any kind of pain is just another variation of a negative feeling. This must be quite obvious for everybody - we don't usually think about our pains as something pleasurable - but rather quite the opposite.

As a negative feeling is just another form of negative energy, and as we, humans, are in general wrongly taught to suppress our negative feelings, we are, from the nature of our habitual way of treating our emotions, prone to physical pains, which are just another manifestation of suppressed negative feelings.

The good thing about the Letting Go process is that, in fact, we don't need to know what exactly the foundation of our pain is. It can be any suppressed negative feeling from our (even very recent) past; it can be a suppressed memory with a strong negative emotional charge, or anything else. The point is that it is all irrelevant in the moment we decide that this suppressed, negative energy finally releases and lets go. What really matters is to understand that the pain itself is a form of negative emotion and that any negative emotion can be let go once and forever.

So, in general, the process of letting go of physical pain is quite simple:

1. Isolate the exact place in your body, where you feel the pain.

2. Stop looking at it as a pain (which is just labeling a feeling). Accept it instead as another form of emotion, or, more precisely, as a feeling.

3. Get any labeling of this feeling out of your head, especially that one connected with any description provided by formal medicine (this labeling is completely useless and many times rather an obstacle when letting go). Don't think about this feeling as a pain or sickness; just try to avoid any kind of labeling. Instead, try to look at this emotion in the particular part of your body naturally, as an independent observer trying to locate and observe a certain feeling (don't name it; don't label it) in your own body.

4. Start surrendering yourself to this feeling slowly, let it express itself fully. Don't push it back;don't block it or act on it. Just let it be in its natural way.

5. After a while, make a decision about letting it go once and forever, and then let it actually go and disappear.

As usual, it will require some practice and repetition.

Some pain and health issues will disappear immediately.

Some will need more letting go sessions.

Some might still return after a while just to remind you that there is still more to let go, and then they will gradually disappear forever.

It can be applied on anything.

My own experiences started with my spine. For my height (192 cm = 6′4″), I used to go to my chiropractor regularly. After 3 months of letting go my spine and pelvis problems, the necessary frequency of the visit has changed from once every week to approximately once a month (on some sessions there was hardly anything to fix) and the frequency of necessary visits keeps decreasing. Ultimately, this physical issue will disappear completely (still some more letting go obviously needs to be done - which is quite usual with more serious, long term issues).

This is just one of the real examples based on my own positive experience with Letting Go.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Letting-Go-of-Physical-Pain&id=9472444

Letting Go Of The Idea Of Struggling

Believing that struggling is a necessary component of success in any area of our life results exactly in that: STRUGGLING. Once we let go of the idea of struggling being a necessary component of life, we will start experiencing excitement and joy instead of struggle.

"You can't grow without struggling." 

"Struggling is part of life." 

"No pain, no gain."

How many times have you heard claims like that?

Obviously, enough times to take them as part of your belief system without considering other possible ways!

Struggle and pain are a choice. Nothing more, nothing less.

Let me repeat it:

It is a choice, which we blindly opt for just because it is a publicly "accepted" norm and we don't even bother to doubt it.

But, once you begin the journey of constant letting go, and become freer of negativity, you will soon realize that the idea and feeling of struggling is just another negative feeling that can simply be let go.

After all the negative energy behind the idea that pain and struggle must be part of our life, we will find a new level of growth: through excitement, joy and positive anticipations - instead of struggle. From this new level of positive experience, you won't be able to understand the concept of struggling anymore. This is because, from that moment, you will only see it as an opportunity to let go even more of this unproductive concept, or you will not experience it anymore at all. You will be simply experiencing achievements without struggling (expressed as negative energy and anxiety), which will be substituted with positive energy, positive anticipation and positive excitement. Because the idea and concept of struggling will be surrendered, there will be an amazing amount of new opportunities and a whole new level of abundance. The most difficult part will be to decide which opportunity to act upon!

Therefore, letting go of the idea of struggling has got a highly practical meaning in everybody's life. It is a thing that should be done each time we spot that feeling, to build a better and happier way to live.

This, again, is a pure choice. Once we decide that we want to experience progress without struggle, but with joy, excitement and positive anticipation, all we need to do is to keep letting go the negative energy behind the idea of the concept of struggling, until it is completely gone. Then, you will become free of struggle, because it is simply another form of negative energy.

Here is the procedure for letting go of the idea of struggling:

1. In a quiet place, close your eyes. Let your mind bring up any feelings of struggle. Remember a recent situation, if it helps.

2. Start embracing and experiencing these feelings fully. Get deep into the feeling of your struggle.

3. DON'T JUDGE any of these feelings, and mainly, DON'T judge yourself in any way! Just let the feelings come out and experience them, without any attachments. Be an observer of your own feelings, without any attachment or judgment. If you start having any feeling like "I can't", just start experiencing feelings of "I can´t" and let them go as well.

4. Tell yourself several times: STRUGGLING IS A CONCEPT THAT I CAN LIVE WITHOUT, AND I AM LETTING THIS CONCEPT GO.

5. Start letting go of the idea of struggle and all the negative feelings behind that. Focus on those feelings. Don't push them back; don't block them or act on them either. Just let them express themselves and let them go.

6. Once the wave of the feelings is let go, ask yourself: "Can I live without struggling"?

7. If you feel any negative or unclear feelings again, repeat the process from the first step, until these negative feelings are gone and you feel that you can live without struggling from now on.

You will probably need to practice this several times, during the following few weeks, or even months. Or at least any time the feeling of struggle arises again (which means it has not been let go completely yet).

http://ezinearticles.com/?Letting-Go-Of-The-Idea-Of-Struggling&id=9472498