Showing posts with label well-being. Show all posts
Showing posts with label well-being. Show all posts

Manage Stress With These 3 Steps



We all experience stress in our everyday lives, and indeed some stress is no bad thing, helping to motivate us, heightening our thinking, aiming to keep us safe. But becoming more aware of its impact on us and finding ways to manage stress effectively is crucial to good health and wellbeing. Here are some valuable steps to help you better recognise and manage stress.

Step 1
- Amber lights are like traffic lights, the warning signs that start to flash, alerting you to the need to slow down or even stop for a time. Learn to recognise your own warning signs that stress is building up and starting to negatively affect you. It may be that disturbed sleep, poor concentration, gut-related issues or changes in your appetite, sense of humour or libido give you the nudge to say you're doing too much and are becoming stressed. You may need to take a break, pause for some fresh air, eat healthily, schedule in some fun time. Familiarise yourself with your cues that you're starting to feel overwhelmed and use that information to better manage stress.

By adopting an adaptive approach you'll be able to handle stressful situations in a more flexible, open-minded way. Weigh things up first rather than instantly react. Ask yourself what's happening, what's really going on. Is this situation triggering your 'stuff', might you need to deal with your personal issues first? Rarely is everything equally urgent. Learn to prioritise, delegate and communicate what you need.

Step 2
- Busyness is a familiar state for many of us, trying to combine the diverse demands of home, work, family, friends. It can take just one area of life to push a little more urgently and everything comes crashing down. If there's no way you can negotiate with additional requests it may be more appropriate to put those opportunities or invitations on hold for the time being. Learn to say 'no' in a firm way, delegate or share the load.

- Black and white is an extreme way to view what's happening in your life. Most things have shades of grey, different perspectives and your perspective will be very much affected by how you're feeling, whether you're in a good or a bad mood, are feeling happy or sad. Keep that in mind and try to step back, so becoming more balanced whenever you find that you're reacting harshly to a person or situation.

- How the body's affected. When we're feeling threatened, in danger or needing to concentrate well our body will react to support us, helping us to stay vigilant and in control. Once the situation has passed we may have 'jelly legs', need to visit the bathroom, have a dry mouth or find our head is spinning. We'll often need a moment or two to calm, but that's okay because we understand why we're feeling like that. Learn to listen to your body and note that there are over 360 physical symptoms of stress, a new one for each day of the year!

- Breaks are a great way to manage stress, but some people are always on red-alert and are loathe to take time away from their work-station. As a consequence, they can become constantly hyper-vigilant. Notice if you favour expressions like, I'm gutted, it's doing my head in, I'm choked, I'm sick to my stomach. If we use emotive phrases on a regular basis these can influence our health and wellbeing. Could there be a correlation between these phrases and any physical symptoms you're experiencing, is it becoming a self-fulfilling result?

Try to take a 20 minute break every 90 minutes or so and allow your body to normalise and wind down. You may well find you return to work feeling refreshed and with clearer thinking - a positive investment of your time.

Step 3
- Communicate how you're feeling, what's going on in your life. Rather than expecting others to be psychic keep regular conversations going, commit to times when you regularly share, discuss and maintain mutual support in your relationships.You'll find a more 'team' mentality brings its own rewards.

- Commitments can change over time. Intermittently review what you typically feel obligated to do and ask yourself if the situation is still the same; could your involvement be modified or reduced? 'Yes' can end up becoming the most negative word you use, whilst 'no' can become positive by helping you reclaim some time for yourself. Bring some control back into your life and support ways to better manage stress.

- Avoid catastrophizing things that happen. Some people treat every new situation or request as a crisis, a stressful demand that needs to be attended to immediately. Change your thinking by listening carefully to what has been asked of you, maybe breaking it down into bullet points and prioritising.

Introduce your own steps that help you cope better with stress. and enjoy the opportunities that come your way.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Manage-Stress-With-These-3-Steps&id=9827973

Manage the Stress of Being the Best


How do you manage the stress of being the best? If you're really focused on never putting a foot wrong it can be overwhelming and exhausting, not just for you but for all concerned. You may even be aware of people who check their work so often that they effectively become word-blind and would find it hard to tell if there was an error! If you're at that stage in your pursuit of being the best you can lose the ability to critically review your work.

Whilst caring enough to be good, making an effort to improve and aiming to produce an exceptional piece of work all have an important role it's also important not to subject ourselves to constant overbearing scrutiny and pressure. It's stressful to be subjected to other people snapping at our heels, waiting for us to fail or cave under the unremitting pressure and criticism. They're impatiently biding their time so that they can replace us and step into our role.

Let's consider some ways to manage the stress of being the best.

- If we work in a highly competitive environment we may feel stressed and living under constant 'supervision'. The problem with this scenario is that stress generates more stress and becomes debilitating over time. We may find our clear thinking, powers of concentration and focus are all affected, as well as our health and wellbeing, ability to sleep and enjoyment of a good-humoured approach to life. Being firm about breaks and time out is important, as is trying to remove yourself from negative people and situations as often as possible.

- Some responsibilities are important and matter more than others. Yes a client, customer or friend deserve to have their requests treated with due deference and respect but some things are urgent whilst others are less so. Whilst we shouldn't agree to help or undertake something we can't fully commit to, equally there are times when enough is enough. Not every piece of work requires being worked on throughout the night or being double, triple or quadruple checked! However, it may be a useful strategy to have someone look over any work that you're apprehensive about. A trusted third-party can often provide valuable reassurance.

- There's no need to be an expert in every area. There will be times when our skills are not up to a particular request. There may be areas which we don't fully understand or are not trained in. Accept and admit this rather than try to muddle through. Offer to source someone who's competent in that field and forge a connection with them; it could even lead to you forming an alliance or partnership, on occasion resulting in a lucrative new string to both your bows.

- How do you feel if someone says that they can't do something? So long as it's done in the right way, not too often or after they've made a hash of an important piece of urgent work I'm sure you appreciated their honesty and were understanding. It helps if you're offered alternative solutions, perhaps a contact they have or a working relationship with someone in that field who could step in and fill the breach. Doing that could result in a win/win for all concerned. Reflect on what worked for you and determine to adopt that approach.

- Aiming to constantly be the best can require sacrifices to be made, and it's often our personal life which takes the strain as it's the path of least resistance. We may find ourselves cancelling or missing out on precious moments with our children, us time with our partner or social occasions with family or friends. Deciding to side-line those times means that not only do we miss out on personal rest and relaxation, but we also risk damaging or alienating those relationships through neglect. When people are regularly dropped they will start to cope without you, but also get the message that you care more about work than you do about them.

- Manage the stress of being the best by focusing on developing your brand and letting it work for you. Becoming the 'go to' guy in a particular niche can be achieved by giving demonstrations, free samples, talks, workshops, writing articles and blogs, maintaining a high-profile. Turning up consistently, whether it be at network meetings, online or in the media can be managed to suit your lifestyle, so easing the stress. Let potential customers become so familiar with your name that you automatically spring to mind whenever your area of expertise is being considered.

- Let others sing your praises. Rather than hassle people for endorsements, step back and let your good work speak for itself. When other people become your ambassadors they recommend you with confidence, pleased that they know someone who's good. Equally, be keen to recommend people you know, like and trust. Oil the wheels of your relationships and then the stress to be the best will subside as you become quietly confident in your field.

Let others contribute and be part of your team. They may not work in the same way as you but you'll get more enthusiasm, commitment and potentially great new ideas from them as a consequence.

There are many ways to manage the stress of being the best. Don't let perfectionism get in the way of you doing a great job!


https://ezinearticles.com/?Manage-the-Stress-of-Being-the-Best&id=10059617

Poetry Therapy, My Outlet in Managing My Anger


Poetry therapy is the intentional use of poetry and other forms of literature for healing and personal growth. The objective is to achieve psychological well-being and healing through the uses of poetry or other spoken or written media.

But in my case, I used poetry as my outlet in managing my anger. I put everything into writing instead of expressing it verbally since anger is a negative emotion. It is a negative feeling that could destroy relationships and personal self-esteem. It should be managed wisely to avoid its ill-effects in our personality.

Even though anger is a natural emotion, but sometimes it can lead to uncomfortable and uncontrollable behavior as if anger is controlling us. But if we let our feelings out by writing about them, we can reread them and be able to laugh about it once our anger subsides.

Writing our anger out is very healing especially in the form of poetry that can bring up ideas, thoughts, and insights we didn't know were there. Surprisingly, we would be amazed with ourselves.

One thing to be aware of, aggravating our anger is not a good idea. What we need is transformation, by learning how to express and understand ourselves from a different perspective. And this time through poetry writing or composition.

Learning to forgive others and learning to forgive ourselves takes time in controlling our anger. Although, forgiveness is a powerful tool but if we allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd our positive feelings, we might find ourselves swallowed up by our own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if we can forgive someone who angered us, we might both learn from the situation.

When we learn how to work with our anger, we are contributing to our own good physical health and the health of our relationships. Anger is not wrong or bad, the bottom line is in learning how we can harness our anger.

So, the key with anger is balance. Having safe and positive ways to express our anger is very important. It is our capability to train ourselves on how to control our temper and to remain calm.

In fact, we can use anger as a motivation to achieve something. To avoid trouble for instance, we can learn how to keep our cool instead of reacting to the cause of our anger. Although, it's normal to feel angry when we've been mistreated, it only becomes a problem when we harm ourselves or others.

So, why not try using poetry to ease you anger now? If I am able to manage mine, why can't you?

This article is another form of coping up mechanisms in which you can use poetry as a therapy to control your negative emotions. By putting into writing all your disappointments and displeasure, you will be able to minimize being angry; thereby making poetry as an outlet of your anger.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Poetry-Therapy,-My-Outlet-in-Managing-My-Anger&id=8761646

A Few Meditative Techniques That Will Bring You Back Into This World (By Mohammed Iftekharuddin)

Benefits of Mindfulness - HelpGuide.org

In today's world, most of us would agree that meditation can contribute significantly to our mental and physical well-being. The act of listening, seeing, and touching can easily be transformed into very effective forms of meditation. The main focus of meditation is to be "in the present"; to be in the "here and now" - one denoting the place where someone presently is, while the other denoting the time in which someone is presently acting. Now, the question is: how is it possible to be "here and now".

One way is to use our hearing and transform it into the act of listening. We hear a jumble of different sounds around us, but we can choose to listen to the sound that we want to hear. Listening to chirp or the sound of flowing water (it could be a mountain river or a stream) in a quiet place (with your eyes closed) is an effective meditation technique that will instill in us the sense of the present and the feeling for this "here and now". This quiet place could be your bedroom or kitchen that offers a window with a view, large or small. Just by the side of the window, there could be a large, beautiful tree. At dawn, birds come to the tree (only God knows from where); and begins to sing their melodious songs. And you just keep on listening to their song, while sitting at your kitchen table or lying on your bed for as long as you are comfortable with it.

Another way is to use our vision and transform it from the 'act of looking' into the 'act of seeing'. We usually look around us, but we can choose to see. Seeing deep into the inner aspects of things in nature (mountain, tree, sky, Lake with placid water Etc.) in a quiet place is an effective meditation technique that will instill in us the sense of the present and the feeling for the "here and now". Seeing deep within the outer aspect of a tree for some time at dawn when everything is quite is an excellent instance of this sort of meditation. Bedroom or kitchen window with the view of a large, beautiful tree at some distance from the house is an ideal setting for meditation as such.

Feeling something on the skin is yet another meditation technique that we can easily make use of through our experience of taking a shower. Our conscious feeling of the coolness of water (with our eyes closed) as it flows down on our skin during a shower is an excellent instance of this sort of meditation that keeps us in the present, here and now.

Reciting Koran is one of the best forms of Concentration Meditation. The act of reciting Koran involves eyes, mouth, and ears. While reciting Koran, one must pay very close attention to and should and must be very mindful of what one sees. What one sees one recites, following the specific and specified rules of Koranic Arabic and Koranic recitation (Arabic that is used in Koran is somewhat different in comparison with the ordinary Arabic language. This makes reciting Koran considerably different from Spoken Arabic.). And one should and must listen to all that comes out of one's mouth (as one goes on reciting) without being unmindful for a moment; so that one doesn't fail to listen any word that comes out of one's mouth during the recitation.

During recitation of Holy Koran in this manner the focus changes as one's eyes move from word to word, involving multiple and continuous points without any break in between. And it's much easier than the conventional 'concentration meditation' where the focus is on a single point (This could entail watching the breath, repeating a single word or mantra, staring at a candle flame, listening to a repetitive gong or counting beads on a rosary). For, it's easier to focus longer when the 'object of focus' is changing than focusing on a single point. Perfect coordination between the three organs (eyes, mouth, and ears) ensures perfect concordance between our seeing, saying, and hearing; this ultimately makes us deeply mindful and attentive; and our 'wandering thoughts' goes away.


https://ezinearticles.com/?A-Few-Meditative-Techniques-That-Will-Bring-You-Back-Into-This-World&id=9811011

Space: Perception And Effect

Silhouette of Trees and Mountain Under Blue Starry Sky

Think about the word 'space' and our perception varies from person to person. As humans we desire for space. It shapes our personality and makes us unique. Not to forget the fact that we live in a country that is infused with a diverse culture and therefore it is inevitable that each cultural value will eventually shape our beliefs.

The world views space and structure mainly through visual elements. Therefore a brick, tree, door, window, and carpet are only a few visual elements that combine and allow us to experience space.

Remember space is all about perspective. So, depending on our position in society, we inhabit space differently. Every minute of our lives we are in physical dialogue with the space. The spaces we occupy directly influence our psychological well-being and creative output.

To elaborate more on this concept of space, we take a few examples to understand what space means to us.

At public bathrooms in restaurants/pubs/motels, our minds immediately switch to a defensive one where our prime notion of cleanliness and privacy is at an all time high. It is a 'necessity'. On the flip side, think about your home; it is one place where your defenses are off, and you're more relaxed. It is where your true identity is shaped.

We also see the importance of a simple queue. Instead of hoarding the counter, a queue restores sense of order in society by eliminating the class barrier. Similarly, a hotel room's main goal is to make you feel as if you're the first person to live in it. In offices, you're surrounded by white walls in square boxes. Your soft-board therefore when filled with personal memories such as a photograph or your kid's drawings, will create a sense of being close to your loved ones at all times, thus increasing productivity.

In terms of colour and the way space is used, the human mind reacts differently to situations. Say, you give a man a puzzle in a tight room, where the ceilings are low. He will complete the puzzle quickly, as there is a sense of "restriction". Similarly you feel more relaxed with the colour blue as it signifies open skies, vast oceans, and beaches, because airy like spaces help us feel free.

And finally, there is an 'escape' space, where for a few minutes or hours, one would wish to get out of the hands from 'family, colleagues and bosses'. It could be anything; a game on your phone, a walk in your area or simply get lost in your thoughts.

Therefore, to put it in simple terms, the psychology of space is the perfect interplay between the man and space.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Space:-Perception-And-Effect&id=9371103

Recognizing the Non-Dual States of Acceptance and Integration

Woman Sitting on Gray Rock Near Body of Water

One of the participants in the AAIT Curate Your State program asked me how we know when we have FULLY accepted and integrated an experience. Such a good question. There are some indicators that make it pretty clear that we have lined up with acceptance and integration. The biggest one is that we learn to rely on the evidence of our own experience. AND AAIT has built-in mechanisms to direct awareness to that experience.

We know that being integrated is valuable. We know that acceptance is associated with well-being. But before I started studying with Zivorad, integration was random and elusive. It was certainly not something that I could reliably offer a client. Acceptance was a little easier to recognize and access. Thanks to Dick Olney for that one!

We can tell we have accepted and integrated an experience when there is an absence of unsatisfying energy (thoughts, images, emotions or sensations) associated with the originating problem when we consider it.

We can tell we have FULLY accepted and integrated an experience when we are no longer reactive to the previously triggering experience. There is no future concern about the originating problem. AND, when we encounter the same or similar circumstances in the future, we are not bothered by them.

This absence of reaction is one indication of acceptance and integration. This absence of reaction, absence of energy points to one of the principles of Acceptance and Integration Training (AAIT) that sets it apart from other models of care.

The non-dual state of empty consciousness is an indication and mechanism of transformation.

Ernest Rossi, a deeply respected psychologist, spoke at the most recent Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference in California. Among the points he made was about non-dualism. He referenced how hypnosis was considered with skepticism 50 years ago. Twenty-five years later, meditation was thought to be too woowoo to bring into the therapy room. Now, we have neuroscientists encouraging meditation. Now, he shared, the new frontier for psychotherapy is in non-dual awareness.

I am not alone out here on this frontier of non-dualism and mental health and well-being. When I presented at the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology last spring, I was among three presenters speaking on non-dualism, and the ONLY presenter with a reliable, practical model. They talked about it in their own work, but no one else presented a model with tools that produce the same promising results with others.

If the non-dual state of empty consciousness is an indication and mechanism of transformation, what is it? How do we RECOGNIZE it?

It is an awareness typified by three states:

  1. Neutrality - empty of thought, image, emotion or sensation.
  2. Non-polar positive state
  3. Vast nothingness

Neutrality is typified by a very neutral feeling that is neither good or bad. Neutrality with a capital "N." It just is. It doesn't feel particularly satisfying or unsatisfying. What's noteworthy is that the original problem no longer has any feeling of associated tension.
A non-polar state, like peace, love, or joy feels to some like a bliss state, a pleroma state. The peace is full enough that it has room for any opposites like worry or anxiety without disturbing the state.

Another expression of a non-dual state is a deep, expansive, spacious and pervasive nothingness. There is no English word I know of that quite captures the essence of this experience. Sanskrit and Pali use the word "sunya" to describe this territory. It means empty and swollen with potential. When in this state, it feels like it contains everything and nothing simultaneously. The deeper practices reveal a transparent awareness of this territory in walking around life.

With AAIT, we learn to access, recognize and gradually stabilize in these higher states. At first, it feels like the resolution of a problem. Then, we glimpse the possibility of stabilizing in steadier states of being and begin, as Zivorad says, "playing a higher game."

In sum, we KNOW we have FULLY accepted and integrated an experience when we:

  • no longer feel charged thoughts, images, emotions or sensations when we think about the situation
  • have no future concern about the problem
  • have considered the problem from any relevant points of view and there is no charge
  • and we no longer react to the problematic stimuli in the same way as we have in the past.

In this way, we rely on the evidence of our own experience, directing our awareness to our inner state and any changes related to the problem we are addressing through AAIT. These are some ways we come to recognize Acceptance and Integration.



http://ezinearticles.com/?Recognizing-the-Non-Dual-States-of-Acceptance-and-Integration&id=9914303

Well-Being: Sense of Possession and Sense of Expectation

Woman in White Dress Shirt

Sometimes I feel that I am a prisoner in a cage that is made of time and space. For, no matter how hard I try to escape or surpass any of these, even in my dreams, it keeps coming back to me. The cage has two other elements. One of these (other elements) are the things that belongs to us in our thinking or belief, while the other one is our Sense of Expectation.

Most of us tend to get caught between past and future. Things that we bought or received as gifts from our friends, families, and loved ones eventually imprint on us such impression that they should remain with us to our death, that we should and must never leave them or part with them. On the other hand, future - that exists only in our imagination - brings with it a 'bundle of expectations', the bundle being different for each individual. Amid all these 'things from the past' and 'future expectations', we forget to live in the present.

Replacing old possessions, while getting rid of possessions that are useless, unusable (i.e. damaged or otherwise unusable) or/and no longer in use goes a long way towards freeing oneself from the sense of possession. For, this would make one realize the fact that "nothing is mine forever", which, in turn, would give an individual a certain degree of "sense of freedom" from things one possess.

However, It is incredibly difficult, sometimes seemingly impossible, to give up expectations. Expectation generally means looking forward to something to happen in one's favor or to one's liking or one is looking forward to someone to do something for him in his favor or to his liking or to satisfy his desire. Our expectations regarding anything, whatsoever, should be based on the present and actual state of affairs, pertaining to that particular thing. When one begins to do things instead of thinking; begins to act instead of imagining, one is eventually able to get over his Sense of Expectation. More often than not, thinking and imagining results in baseless assumptions.

Anger is usually caused by expectation; greater the expectation, greater would be the intensity of anger, caused by the former (zero-expectation would flatten any possibility of getting angry). Therefore, by putting a rein on our expectation, we can actually control our anger or, at least, keep it at a manageable level.

If we focus on our expectations all the time, chances are that we will eventually be someone who keeps only those relationships that pleases her. If we keep persisting along this line, there will be a time when we will become entirely self-centered human beings, who are absolutely insensitive to other people's feelings or problems or their particular situations or conditions.

Consequentially, our relationships with others may turn out to be very fragile, like a glass that is in the danger of breaking at the slightest fall; volatile; and short-lived. Every now and then we will have break-ups with people, simply because they fail to stand up to our expectations and don't seem pleasing in our eyes anymore. Well, accepting a person in his entirety; that is to say, in his "whole being", and not as a 'fragment of himself' could, ultimately, be rewarding.

Instead of severing relationships with others, we may want to do just the opposite: making an effort to reestablish relationships with those, who have broken relationships with us. We need to have a heart as wide and vast as an ocean that is so deep that every unpleasant and disagreeable things are drowned and disappeared in it forever.

Nothing is unexpected and anything and everything is possible. Therefore, we need infinite mental flexibility and openness so as to accommodate whatever may come in our way. This is to say that, we must and should not have any preconceived idea or, in other words, expectation regarding anything or anybody.

This could, possibly, be related to our idea concerning "being in the present". To be in the present is to possess an absolutely flexible and open mind that can be molded, shaped, and reshaped in a positive way in response to the present reflexes. Mental flexibility or receptivity as such can save relationships for us or help us to overcome and get-over an unpleasant or/and disagreeable situation.



https://ezinearticles.com/?Well-Being:-Sense-of-Possession-and-Sense-of-Expectation&id=9863494

A Morning Ritual Nourishes You Throughout Your Day



How you start your day, in a very real way, sets the stage for what follows. So why not give yourself as good a beginning as possible?

Every morning, I engage in a ritual that I have evolved over the years. It adds so much to the quality of my day. And it enhances my productivity, as well.

Would you like to experience your own expansion of possibilities?

Here are some of my favorite ideas and tips.

A morning ritual is a special promise you make to yourself - and keep. You commit to open your day using your best energies. What you do can create a bridge between your essential self and whatever demands you will confront as your day unfolds.

So it's most valuable to create a morning ritual that infuses you with well-being and helps guide you when things get rocky.

Of course, your ritual will be unique to you.

The following sentence completion exercise helps you identify your individual needs and preferences. Then, based on your answers here, you can create a ritual that enriches you in any number of ways:

"The hardest thing about getting up is ________."

Morning rituals help you journey from fast asleep to wide awake. Transition rituals might include selecting the ideal music to rouse you, gentle yoga stretches, a sizzling dance video, or simply a quiet moment with a fragrant cup of tea or coffee.

"My day always goes better when I start it by ________."

Morning rituals help you correct your course if you "get up on the wrong side of bed." Try time-honored favorites like allowing unedited thoughts to take shape as you journal, flowing with T'ai Chi, connecting with your animal companion, or reading something uplifting.

"If I had 10 more minutes in the morning, I'd use it to _______."

Morning rituals send you prepared into your day. Pastimes, like writing your intentions for the day, updating your To-Do list, assembling your evening meal in a crock-pot, or firming up tentative plans, can each help ground and center you. Can you find those ten minutes somewhere? Anywhere? Good! Try incorporating just one activity and see how it adds to your day.

Do you wonder what the difference is between a ritual and a routine?

Sometimes, it's simply the level of mindfulness you bring to the moment. Routines can often feel rushed or monotonous - they get you through one part of the day on your way to the next chapter. Rituals, on the other hand, send down roots this instant. And your inner wellsprings nourish you.

Honoring what you do honors who you are. So you imbue your activities with meaning. When you engage in rituals mindfully, you fully occupy the moment. And time expands.

This is no small achievement! You genuinely appreciate more moments by focusing your attention and intention upon your movements, moment by moment. Why not maximize this potential when you first greet the day?

Finally, morning rituals can prepare you to respond to upcoming challenges with proactive presence. Experiment and note the results. You may very well enjoy enhanced health, focus and gratitude!



https://ezinearticles.com/?A-Morning-Ritual-Nourishes-You-Throughout-Your-Day&id=10080574

Is A New Love What We Need In Letting Go Of The Past?


Man and Woman Lying on Bed

Love is in fact a key to a happy and fulfilling life. But what about if your heart is already broken because of a lost love? Is a new love an answer to let go of the past?

Although many of us believe that we would like to be in love; we face many challenges in taking the actions that allow us to love freely throughout our lives and relationships. This is especially true when we experience hurt the first time that we give up everything just for the sake of making a relationship work; particularly in marriage.

Ideally, love includes feeling for the other that goes beyond any selfishness or self-interest on the part of the loved one. This in turn nurtures love and has a positive effect on each other's self-esteem and sense of well-being. Love never deceives because misleading another person significantly affect his or her sense of reality. The very reason why some people never trust to love again after a serious heartache or breakup.

Too often, we expect of affection as a virtually passive state, however, we tend to ascertain ourselves and our partner as one. In fact, we appreciate one another as people experiencing the exciting, caressive feelings as a result of being in love.

Sometimes, we begin wanting our partner alone to satisfy our own desires. It's important to identify our emotional hunger from real love. We need to assess ourselves in a way that's not unfair to them?we should not confine ourselves from the hurt of our past?

Love ought to ne'er be possessive. It ought to be a real appreciation of an individual as a separate individual. When we regard an individual in this manner, we need to realize their real worth and the happiness they bring into our lives. We need to express our compassion and kindness to that someone we love.

As a matter of fact, we cannot force love to happen. It just happen when we least expect it. So, what we need to do is to be open. Someone out there will come in our lives. Someone who is worthy of our love and someone who will value our worth as human beings not just as an asset.

Thus, we can say that we are ready to love again because we believe that we are capable of being love and be loved. When we are able to love again, it means we are able to let go of our past failures and move forward by being open to new love.

When we are ready to love again, we no longer feel pain from our past heartbreak. Instead we view it as part of our journey in finding a new and lasting love.


https://ezinearticles.com/?Is-A-New-Love-What-We-Need-In-Letting-Go-Of-The-Past?&id=9991294

I Am Big (By Gini Cunningham)

Two Women Holding Pen

Most frequently when rough situations arrive in my life I exert effort to go along to get along. Usually this serves me well, however, as the years of my life have expanded I have begun to realize that I sometimes lose myself and my personal perspective in this state of acquiescence. Instead of a strength, getting along transforms into a liability and a sign of weakness. Nodding and agreeing wears out my head, my neck, and my mind. To remedy this situation I have been reading stockpiles of self-help and self-improvement books, perusing the Internet for enlightening articles, and I have also enrolled in a class on leadership. All have assisted my resolve to be more assertive and speak my mind, but the best has been the class.

Taken online with verbal interaction in full group and partner discourse, we have read, shared, and examined our beliefs in ourselves and in our outlook in leadership roles. As I listened to others who are working full-time and trying to lead where a herd of cats expresses dismay and distrust at every request or task, I am pleased that I work independently and have the freedom to serve or to exit the scene and move on to arenas that provide me with a sense of well-being, purpose, and accomplishment. One example is a mentoring job that I was recently offered.

The contract work with a school district included teaching four classes and then acting as a mentor in twelve classrooms throughout the local system. Some were brand new, others long-term substitutes, and a third group consisted of alternative licensure. The latter already have a post-bac degree and are teaching and taking classes to become certified. In addition there are 22 other teachers with whom I have occasional contact to guide and mentor as needed. It is fulfilling work and it also really fills my time. I'd love to have the job, but it was not essential to my well-being. The individual in charge of hiring is known for her humor but also for her tough-as-nails approach. She has represented a towering figure whenever I have worked with her. But this situation was new and unique and my laissez-faire attitude operated to my benefit.

As we began the interview process I assumed my regular stance of nod-and-agree. This was easy because what she asked of me was exactly what I wanted to do. As expectations and then wages came and passed, I asked, "And how much funding is available to supply these teachers with the materials and tools that they will need to implement training techniques I teach and model in their classrooms?" Her response, of course, "None."

Not surprised, I continued, "Really, how much can I spend on each teacher to get the necessary supplies?" A pleasant smile returned another, "None."

"No, I know you have funds tucked away that could be used for this purpose." On this third attempt I felt her melting just a tad, leaning toward my request.

"Well, I'll see what I can do. About $100 per teacher? " My nod was answered with her nod as she added, "I'll check and email you tomorrow."

We stood to shake hands and to my astonishment, this giant of a woman was shorter than I by several inches. Her towering demeanor had cowed me into shrinkage. I had not realized how I had allowed myself to diminish in the get-along stance. As I stood up and spoke my mind, I became empowered and fearless. I knew money existed. Schools (and Congress) always swear there is no money but low and behold, there is when pet projects come waltzing along. My new strength increased my optimism and my chance for success. While I do not plan to become argumentative and demanding, I finally, after many decades of nodding through life, recognize that a firm posture exudes power and potency. I am big.



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This Is How Gratitude Can Help You Cope With a Difficult Time in Your Life

Person Holding Assorted-color Flower Bouquet

"I am sorry; your mother has passed away"

"We have a diagnosis and can confirm that your child has Autism"

"Your baby was deprived of oxygen during his birth. He will have many disabilities."

Life. It's unpredictable and full of surprises. You seem to have it all planned out, and then suddenly, and without warning, something happens to remind you that there are no guarantees about anything.

Sometimes it's good news and you are pleasantly surprised. Other times, you have the kind of experience that turns your world upside down and you're not sure what to do next. It comes on so quickly and you can't think straight. You didn't prepare for it, nor did you predict it would ever happen.

Emotions like fear, anger, disbelief, and confusion can quickly take control of your entire being. You may feel depressed, alone and uncertain. Overcome with strong negative emotions, you may not recognize the support from others and you may blame them for not doing enough.

Amidst the chaos and confusion, there is one thing that can help you to feel more positive and hopeful. That one thing is gratitude. Simply, being thankful. It doesn't cost money, it doesn't take a lot of time and it is accessible each and every day, yet it is one of the most under used tools that we have available to us.

The principle of being thankful and appreciative for what we have has been around for many years and is gaining momentum as an emerging science. From psychologists and mental health experts to Oprah, gratitude is rapidly becoming recognized as a key ingredient for overcoming trauma and grief.

Deepak Chopra, M.D. and alternative medicine advocate, believes that, "by practicing gratitude, our well-being is automatically oriented toward greater health and balance." Writer Amy Morin discovered that a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (2003) found that gratitude was a major contributor to resilience following the terrorist attacks on September 11. Recognizing all you have to be thankful for - even during the worst times of your life - fosters resilience.

There is no denying that when you are going through a difficult time, you are angry, frustrated and sad. Feeling thankful isn't on your mind.

How can you practice gratitude when you are heartbroken or stressed?

Here are some things that I have discovered through my own experience and from others I have met along the way.

Discover Purpose and Meaning

Instead of looking at the negative, gratitude can empower you to see the opportunities in your life. While you are going through a challenge, gratitude helps you to think about all of the things you are learning. You appreciate the possibilities rather than the obstacles and you are able to find purpose and meaning in your circumstances.

When I was asked to become a committee member for our local children's services planning group, I remember feeling very thankful. From the first meeting I attended, I realized that I had something to offer. As a parent of a child with multiple disabilities, I was exhausted and under a lot of stress however sharing what I had learned and knowing that it would make a difference for other families, was a step toward understanding a broader purpose in my personal situation.

Value Your Physical and Mental Health

According to many experts, approaching each day with gratitude can change our mindset, your perspective, and even your body chemistry.

Adam Anderson, a neuroscientist at Cornell University explains that "positive emotions activate neural circuits related to novel, creative thought processes." They allow you to take on new perspectives." His findings also describe that feeling grateful has a compounding effect. The more times we express our thanks; the more positive memories we build up.

In her article from Maclean's magazine in August 2015, author Cathy Gulli refers to a recent study published in the journal Spirituality in Clinical Practice. "The results of the study found that people who scored high on a gratitude assessment test experienced better mood and sleep, more confidence in their ability to maintain their cardiac health, less fatigue and most stunning of all: blood analysis of the patients revealed gratitude was associated with lower inflammation in the body."

I was always so thankful for the one hour each day when I would go for a run or a long walk. It was my time to unwind and do something that was important to me. Whether it be exercise, joining a club or having coffee with a friend, do something regularly that is important to you.

Foster Healthy Relationships

It's no secret that maintaining healthy relationships takes commitment and dedication. The stress of the daily grind can certainly put a strain on sound partnerships and alliances. It's easy to see the faults of others, especially with the added pressure of a challenging situation. Tension within the relationship is bound to increase. If you approach your relationships with gratitude, you will be able to recognize all of the positive qualities in your partner, family member or friend. By simply expressing thanks to another person you bridge the gap between the two of you. If there are broken relationships, gratitude may be the first step toward erasing old grievances and forgiving petty differences you may have been holding onto.

Build Trust

Close Up Photo of Rodent and Person

Furthermore, open and honest communication is extremely important during stressful times. Too often people protect their feelings by not communicating, for fear of rejection or having their emotions exposed. Dr. Chopra believes, "gratitude helps to reduce feelings of insecurity, vulnerability and fear."

You may believe that sharing your feelings with your partner may create additional stress for them. Talk openly and honestly and don't be afraid to express your emotions. This will help to strengthen trust, foster growth and increase empathy.

Create Abundance

"I need more help!" is frequently expressed by people going through a traumatic situation. "There isn't enough nurses." "My child needs a better teacher." "Where is my family when I need them?"

Inadequacy, shortage, isolation and deficiency. These words represent scarcity and speak to what is lacking in your life. Instead try to pay attention to what you have in your life. My parents helped a lot. Quite frankly, we coped so well because of their unconditional love and assistance. My sister-in-law and her family would visit every weekend. My closest friend called me every day. My brother-in-law held our son and sang to him while he was an infant in the hospital. The director of my son's preschool initiated a move to help us get more in home support. At the hospital, there were some great nurses and some not so great. Some teachers were better at classroom inclusion than others. For the situations that were not very supportive, I would let them know. It is your responsibility to let them understand your point of view so that they can make a change for the better.

Gratitude helps us to feel abundance. The more grateful you are, the more your life is supported because you recognize the generosity in others. Instead of feeling alone and unsupported, you notice what your friends and family are doing for you, rather than what they are not doing. You recognize the knowledge, support and guidance offered by professionals rather than their inability to change your situation

Uncover Peace and Acceptance

After enduring a plethora of emotional ups and downs, there will be a time when you realize that you cannot change or "fix" your situation. With gratitude, you will discover the determination and the strength to make it a positive experience. Through your acceptance, you can help others in a similar situation and help them to feel more optimistic and encouraged.

Dr. Amy Morin, psychotherapist and author, sums it up nicely. "As our self expands through gratitude, our concerns, anxieties, and insecurities become small and insignificant, while our experience of joy, freedom, beauty, and compassion continues to grow. Simply take a few moments to focus on all that you have - rather than complain about things you think you deserve."

Daily Practice

The power to discover the things in your life that you are thankful for, lies with you. Start a daily gratitude journal. Look around and list the things and people for which you are thankful to have in your life. Carry it with you and be aware of each moment when something happens that makes you feel grateful and write it down. This will help you to realize that despite the difficulties, there is a lot of love, support and positive energy around you.

Lisa Raffoul is a Family Coaching and Training Specialist.

She has worked with people and organizations that support children with a disability for over 20 years.

Her inspiration was her son, Eric, who had multiple and complex disabilities.

Lisa is a dynamic public speaker and has created signature workshops to advance the parent perspective and empower others to provide support in a more authentic and family-centered approach.

Lisa recently launched a business called, Family Matters by Lisa Raffoul.


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Is Your Anger Hurting You?

Man With Halloween Skeleton Makeup Choking a Woman With Skeleton Makeup

In doing research for this paper, I poured over numerous research articles in many contexts. What stood out for me in particular was that a majority of the research articles, linked anger with depression. These are two very broad topics that deserve attention on their own merits. However, for the purpose of this paper, we will include it in our discussion of some of the negative effects of anger on individuals from a psychological health, physical health, and an environmental health perspective.

Anger is an emotion that we all come equipped with from birth. Some would have us believe that fear is the emotion that occurs before we use anger to express the fear. Research indicates that fear and anger have separate neurological pathways and that we experience these two emotions in very distinct and different ways in the brain and in the body. When we become angry we experience increases in blood flow, systolic blood pressure, heart rate, and cardiac output. The impact that these increases in cardio vascular activities have varies depending on how quickly we recover from our angry state. Those people that can become angry and then quickly resolve the anger will return to base-line or a normal level of cardio vascular functioning more efficiently than those individuals that have a difficult time letting go of the anger. Individuals that ruminate or continue to think about the situation that made them angry will stay angry longer causing them to experience these cardio vascular symptoms for an extended period of time. For these individuals, chronic rumination on angry situations can lead to the onset and progression of cardio vascular disease.

Rumination can not only lead to cardio vascular disease, but can also be a trigger for a major depressive episode. People who have difficulty with expressing their anger in an appropriate way will frequently become angry with themselves. They may become angry because they feel they didn't stick up for themselves. For instance, a boss that gives an unfair evaluation and you want to tell them you feel it's unfair but you choose to accept the unfair evaluation rather than risk upsetting your boss. Perhaps it's anger over not having any control over the situation, such as being laid off from a job or not getting a job that you may have wanted. Sometimes, anger can also be self- directed even if individuals do assert themselves. For example, if you decide to say something to your boss about your unfair evaluation and in your anger you yell at your boss and your boss fires you, you may ruminate on how the conversation could have gone differently to generate a positive rather than a negative outcome. This anger is easily turned inward blaming yourself for losing your job and may result in a major depressive episode. Many major depressive episodes have their roots in unresolved anger, self- criticism, and rumination on that anger.

Angry rumination can also impact us on an environmental level. Individuals who tend to ruminate or continue to think about why they are angry, express their anger in unsafe ways on the road. It has been established that those folks who experience road rage and engage in unsafe driving patterns are people who have unresolved anger issues. These individuals tend to drive at a higher rate of speed, take more risks while driving, and in general exhibit more aggressive driving patterns. In addition, what creates an even more dangerous situation is when these individuals encounter traffic patterns that create more anger and frustration from being on a crowded freeway. As a result, the level of frustration and anger increases and so does the aggressiveness of their driving putting everyone on the road at risk.

In short, these are only a few of the ways that anger can have a negative impact on us, our well-being, and the welfare of others. Many of the people I have worked with on anger issues, believe that they should not be experiencing anger at all. They have received these messages from friends, family, co-workers, and others. Consequently, they focus on the fact that they became angry in the first place, ruminating on the event that made them angry rather than on how to acknowledge their anger and how to express it in an appropriate way, leaving them self-critical and feeling as if they are somehow faulty. In turn, this self-critical stance only serves to increase the possibility that individuals will develop cardio vascular disease, major depression, and engage in reckless behavior on our roadways. Once individuals can acknowledge that it is okay to become angry, only then can they begin to develop the skills that will assist them in accommodating the appropriate expression of their anger.


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Did You Know That Positive Affirmations Can Improve Your Life And Wellbeing? Here's How!


The dictionary defines affirmations as, "statements, which affirm something to be true." In simple terms, positive affirmations are positive phrases, which you repeat to yourself and which describe how you want to be.

The theory of this practice dictates that when you repeat affirmations as if they were already a reality (when they are not) the message seeps deep into the subconscious mind, so you really start to believe them, and eventually they will become your reality. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

At first, you should state the phrase(s) intentionally, to counter any negative thoughts that creep into your mind. Over time, the phrases should occur naturally, without you having to intentionally think about them. At this point, the phrases become part of your subconscious, part of your very mentality, which has a tremendous effect on your life and wellbeing.

How To Use Positive Affirmations

Select affirmation phrases that are only 4-5 words long so that you won't forget them. Make them present, positive, and personal.

In staying present, use "I am... " instead of "I will be... "

In staying positive, make sure the phrase is uplifting. Examples could be "I like my artistic side" and "I am successful" and "I love myself."

Lastly, in staying personal, use phrases whenever possible that directly apply to your unique skills and qualities.

For example, "I paint landscapes beautifully" and "I organize my time well."

It is best to only pick 1-3 phrases that you can really focus on per day, because you should be repeating the same phrase to yourself repeatedly.

The phrase(s) should be related to anything particular that you are struggling with that day or doubting yourself about. The phrase(s) may not change for days or weeks at a time, until you are able to truly believe them and they become one with your subconscious.

The best time to use the affirmations is when you are not busy with other tasks. Spend 5-10 minutes repeating the phrase(s) to yourself, either mentally or out loud if no one is around you. Do this first thing in the morning and multiple times during the day, as you are able.

Make it a habit to also say them as you are trying to fall asleep. Make sure you are relaxed when you begin. Try taking deep breaths before you start, and concentrate on the words as you are saying them.

Go one-step further and visualize the phrase in your mind as you say it. This helps to integrate the phrase into your subconscious.

How Positive Affirmations Affect Your Wellbeing

Research shows that positive affirmations improve your well-being. Specifically, positive affirmations can do the following things in your life:

  • Build Your Confidence - As the positive phrases become implanted in your subconscious, you will come to think more highly of yourself and your self-esteem and confidence will grow.

  • Empower You To Accomplish Your Goals - As your confidence grows, you will trust more in your capabilities and be able to successfully reach your goals. The visualization technique previously mentioned helps with this too, because if you envision what your life looks like when you have obtained a specific goal, then it will be easier to motivate yourself to work towards it. One great example of this is weight loss, as studies have shown affirmations to have positive effect on success in people losing weight versus subjects who did not employ the technique.

  • Lead To Prosperity - You will find yourself more successful in your career, in your relationships and in your personal life when you live life with a positive mentality.

  • Lead To Romance - Whether you have long doubted your abilities to sweep another person off their feet, or you have been in a relationship that you view as mediocre, this will all change with a new attitude. When the positive affirmations change your mentality, which changes your outlook on life, you will have the confidence to sweep someone off of their feet or to re-invigorate your current relationship. You will be a much happier person, and that happiness will flood into your romantic life.

  • Heal Your Mind And Body - Research studies show a strong connection between the mind and body. People with a positive mentality control their stress and blood pressure better and demonstrate a stronger resiliency against disease. They also have effective coping skills when dealing with life's maladies that make them resilient and well equipped to deal with stressful situations and come out on top, instead of succumbing to the pressure.

  • Can Be Applied To Any Situation - No matter the personal struggle, applicable affirmations can be created and applied.

You can achieve all of these things with positive thinking. It all starts with affirmations that are present, positive and personal. Never underestimate the power of positive words!


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Do You Road Rage? Why We Do, and What We Can Do About It (By Allen Wagner)

Man Wearing White Dress Shirt With Black Necktie

Living in a city like Los Angeles requires a commute on some form of Freeway (too many to list), a journey through bumper to bumper surface streets, and possibly a walk. All of this is cemented between our daily stressors of work and family.

It's often common for us to leave home upset around time management issues, conflicts with loved ones, or the dread of going to a place of employment. How can this not affect us? Most of us are also aware that there is an unofficial "Rules of the Road" handbook that establishes polite behavior, which is not followed by many. The perfect storm of impolite driving (unsafe, or self-righteous), and an average person's bad day can lead to escalations that are unsafe for all parties. Most of us would call this sudden explosion of anger, Road Rage.

While the actions of others remain out of our control, we can be more mindful of our own state as we enter our cars. When a person makes a physical check of possible obstructions prior to pulling out of a space, they are hyper aware. Their eyes search all mirrors for people, dogs, and other cars as if life depended on it, and in many ways this is true. We can also look inward, within ourselves. Creating an awareness of how you are feeling prior to starting the ignition, can be helpful in creating awareness of where you are at.

Road Rage is related to the tipping point of our agitation. What is your frustration tolerance at that particular time, on that particular day? Some people appear to always be at a high frustration level, but for others, irritation can sneak up more slowly. What are the daily obstacles we still have in front of us? Maybe there is a specific meeting, appointment, or a time we have to pick up our kids. It could be the time of day we depart such as rush hour, or a work related task that still lingers on our mind. Are we late? There is an infinite amount of possible stressors, and personal drama or what we might call personal crisis situations (hey it seems like a crisis to us!), but when paired with inconsiderate drivers things can explode.

If we were to rank our personal wellbeing on a scale of 1-10, with one being Buddha, and 10 being Hulk, most likely we all live in a 3 most of the time. It's once we cross 5 or 6, that we want to become more mindful of Road Rage triggers, and our own body awareness. This is the time we can course correct, prior to further and potentially more dangerous escalation.

Every person has a different anger response. If we begin to track our outbursts, we become more aware of the patterns in our triggers. This is where we can consciously begin to change patterns and replace or alter behaviors. Tracking body symptoms prior to outburst (twitching eye, flushed face, rapid breathing, warm forehead, watery eyes, itchy shoulders or neck, clenching, etc..), can be helpful in establishing patterns, but we need to work on better planning to implement prior to these escalations.

Listening to the radio, taking deep and purposeful breaths, or talking to a good friend or family member can be helpful. Avoiding conflicts while driving is a good rule of thumb as well. When a person is riding at an 8 or 9, it does not take much to be the straw that broke the camel's back. As our mindfulness and self-awareness increase, it's easier to make better choices, and do the things we need to do to be safe.


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You Are The Secret To Your Own Prosperity



In truth, you are the secret to your own prosperity, but to realize it, you have to understand a fact: life has strange ways. If you took all the money in the world, divided it equally among everybody, it would soon all be back in the same pockets as it was before it was shared. So how can you change the odds?
Could you change the cards you have been dealt with? How can you transform it? What should you do? Is it possible?

Most people struggle with personal growth and self-improvement as it is challenging lifetime pursuit. It is hard for people to give up their blame list because it is always easier to blame things or circumstances around them than oneself. And making a transition is often hard for anyone to do.

You have to realize that it is not what happens that determine the major parts of your future because what happens, is going on for all of us. Rather, the key is what you do about it. So, to create your own prosperity, you have to start the process of change by doing something different.

Prosperity is something you attract, not something you pursue. Instead of going after it, you should work on yourself and success and wealth would soon follow. You have to set goals for yourself which are a thing no school, college or university teaches you.

The perspectives and thinking you adapt, shape your life, and when you change your perspective, you can create an immediate shift in your own prosperity, life and job or business. To create success in whatever endeavor, you must always look for ways to sharpen your outlook.

Change Yourself to Change Your Prosperity

Since you cannot change your circumstances to get your ideal of prosperity, you have to begin doing things differently with the same conditions. You need to transform yourself and what you do. Learn to take responsibility instead of putting it on someone else.

I know it is a challenging mission, but if you change, everything will change for you. You do not have to alter your outer personality, but rather your inner nature. Do not wish for things to get easier, wish for you to become better. You have to want the desire for more skills, not fewer problems.

"To have more, you have simply to become more" - Jim Rohn
If you begin working on yourself and making all these changes, prosperity will change for you. To have better, you need to get better. It is a simple formula and yet, many struggles with it. You should be able to figure out where the problems are to work on them.

Increase Your Value to Increase Your Prosperity

Prosperity includes many benefits but one often comes out more than others, and it is 'finances.' The key to understanding economics is that you get paid for bringing value to the marketplace, also described as the real world. It takes time to provide value to this market, but you have to realize that you do not get paid for time.

Let's say you make twenty dollars an hour, well, it is somewhat not true because if it was, you could just stay home and get your money. So you do not get paid for the hours, but for the value, you put in the time you use.

It is a great psychological prosperity trait which I have read, heard and learned from the business thinker, Jim Rohn. So is it possible for you to become two or three times as valuable as you now are, and make two or three times as much money within the same time?

Of course, it is, and yet, this code of belief goes against the mold of what schools teach, or how most of us are raised, and what media depicts to the general public. So to build your own prosperity, you have to increase your value, it is that simple. And if you do understand this great attitude and apply it to your life, you will improve, develop and ripen a considerable benefit over those who do not.

Improve Your Skills to Improve Your Success

People often do not do much to upgrade their skills or value but rather blame the economy, their job or the state of their scarcity of income. If somebody is happy for making minimum wage, then they will always remain at the bottom because it is the value they are bringing into the market place.

It is a pitiful way to live! Start something and not grow, change or become more valuable. Why does someone get one million dollars a year while others make only fifty thousand? Well, it is quite simple. That person has become more valuable to the marketplace than the other.

Of course, I must make a distinction. The one who has a low revenue might be a good relative, friend, or member of the community which is a different kind of prosperity. It is a fact that if you do not improve your skills to develop your value, your success and prosperity level will remain the same.

That is why wealthy and prosperous people get paid so much, but I have great news for you: it has become an equal playing ground. Nowadays, information is accessible and free almost everywhere. So it is up to you to decide how valuable you want to become, what is your definition of prosperity and how much you want to pay forward to others. Quite simple, isn't it?

Turn Your Life Around to Better Your Prosperity

Do not wait for a raise as it is easier to climb the ladder. To be able to prosper, you must continually discover ways become more valuable. You have to create your own prosperity by sharpening your skills, learning better methods through resources and always trying to better yourself.

When you want more money, you have to earn it by bringing more value to your job, business or customers. You have the ability to create more prosperity and happiness if you do understand this small step. You can always turn your life around to better your wealth.

"Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. If you work hard on your job, you can make a living, but if you work hard on yourself, you'll make a fortune." - Jim Rohn
You need to work on yourself. Strive to become a better person. Be different instead of comparing yourself to others. How can you become more valuable and change your prosperity? By learning new things, improve on stuff you know and be better at everything you do.

Tips to Offer More Value and Increase Prosperity

Do something that provides more value for you to change your current income level. Here are some tips to increase your prosperity and bring you value so you can get better than others.

  • Learn to work harder on yourself than on your job.
  • Be an expert by choosing a specialized area. Study your trade and learn from others.
  • Become efficient by learning how you get done what needs to get done.
  • Have an awareness of knowing your strong points and what you are best at doing.
  • Be productive in knowing what and how much you get done to increase prosperity.
  • Get a vision by having something you see that others do not, like a bigger picture.
  • Create a mastermind by surrounding yourself with people you can learn from to get more value.
  • Get a good reputation through what others know and think about you.
  • Become an influence by persuading others to get things done.
  • Acquire a popularity status by understanding how well your colleagues or audience see you.
  • Have a great personality by treating others as well as how you want to them to treat you.
  • Get the right attitude to grow your prosperity by taking care of yourself and others.

If you work harder on yourself than on your job, then there will be no limits to your prosperity and success in whatever you do. It is time for you to take responsibility for your financial well-being. So, commit now to become more valuable and better your own prosperity. Remember you are in control regardless of the external circumstances surrounding you.



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How to Keep Yourself Together


There are both good times and rough times along the way of living. Sometimes, we get confused all over the small pieces of distractions and fall on our knees whenever obstacles get in the way. The pathway to heaven isn't as delightful as those depicted in fantasies or fairy tales. Life can be confusing to the least, and very complicated for many. It is possible and common for all of us to go through the hard times, face the challenges, and ride along the bumpy roads. Whenever that happens, stress strikes us hard and killed us mentally from the inside. Feeling weary, down, and blue, these emotions affect our physical well-being and therefore lead to illnesses.

Unaware of the lack of inner calmness, we seem to find it hard to keep ourselves together. Inner calmness is crucial for true happiness and satisfaction. Therefore, it is important to keep your mind unoccupied. The best way to make that happen is to stop over-thinking about small matters and try to eliminate negative thoughts as much as possible. It is also best to keep your thoughts light and more to the positive, brighter side. As mood swings, excessive ego, and emotional breakdown adds up fire to problem you're facing, it is best to keep everything simple. If there are complications, take a deep breath and slowly manage the problems one by one. Like using bullet points to separate topics into smaller sub topics, do the same way with life's matters. Whenever you feel like exploding or bursting into tears of varying emotions like confusion, anger, and frustration, remember to keep things simple and eliminate the problem-triggering points as much as possible.

Stress-Relief Breathing Exercises

Breathing is generally an involuntary activity the body does automatically to keep us alive, which is probably why many still don't get it why breathing can make a difference in managing emotions. Learning, practicing, and managing your breaths can keep your mind occupied with the act of breathing itself, which lowers the possibilities of drawing in distractions and the unpleasant, negative thoughts like those of stress. Managing your breathing posture will also aid in an improved attitude and stance. Just fifteen to thirty minutes of correcting your breathing posture will help enhance and clear your thoughts as the brain mainly focuses on the breaths. Breathing deeply without your chest moving, inhaling while the stomach moves away from the body, and exhaling when the stomach moves towards the body will keep your busy minds occupied and at the same instance, improve your breathing posture as a whole.

Stop Telling Yourself to Stop Thinking

If you'd ever find yourself telling yourself to stop thinking about a matter or go nuts over it, know that the more you will 'think' and 'go crazy' about it over and over again like a repeating mix-tape. If you don't want to think about a matter and just waiting for it to go, it is best to just ignore and make yourself busy with other things. Grab a ticket to a movie theatre, listen to Eminem, or call a friend to your house. As long as you keep yourself cheerful and happy, the unwanted thoughts will gradually go away though it might take you some time. For instance, if you are worried about your acne breakouts, you will tend to look out for it more. You might see a few yesterday and see much more today, because the body focuses only on acne production. This not only causes the body to trigger oil production and acne formation possibilities, it also leads to an unhealthy state of mind and the lack of self-esteem.


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