Never Give Up

Never give up.

It is a simple statement, yet it represents a profoundly difficult course of action. There are few sentences which can be both as inspiring and formidable. It does, however, represent a portion of a larger statement. If one is to succeed at anything in life, then one must persevere despite the obstacles placed in ones path. This can be very difficult, as there are many people who will be willing to tell you that what you are striving for is not worth the effort, that no matter how hard you try, you will never achieve your goals.

These are the voices of people who have doomed themselves to failure. Perhaps they have reached this conclusion because they themselves have failed at their own attempts. If one tries repeatedly but does not realize their goals, it is easy to become disheartened. Sometimes it is more comfortable, psychologically, emotionally, and physically, to abandon ones dreams rather than continuing to try.

These negative voices are not always external. Self-doubt is a huge detriment to success. If one is already questioning the importance or plausibility of a particular goal, then the obstacles one faces come to appear even larger than they are. If one allows negative thoughts to rule their perceptions, all tasks become more difficult.

It is the simple truth that nothing has ever been accomplished by giving up, except, of course, for succeeding at giving up.

It may also be the case that they naysayers one encounters do not see the value in the goals that you have set for yourself. Someone focused only on financial gain may not be able to perceive the reward of creating a beautiful portrait. Conversely, one who is focused purely on the artistic may be unable to understand the gratification someone else gets from rising through the ranks of the corporate world.

The first step towards success in anything is learning to not listen to the naysayers including the internalized ones. It is important to realize that in order to succeed, one must be willing to try. As hockey great Wayne Gretzky once said "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

This is far harder than it sounds. Fear of failure is common. No one wants to look foolish in front of others. No one wants to have to go to bed at night with the knowledge that they have given their all and yet not acquired that which they were reaching for.

There are a number of methods one can use to increase ones chance of success which apply to almost all situations. These techniques are fairly general, but can be modified to fit specific situations.

Believe that you can

The only thing that is harder than trying is trying when you do not feel that you can succeed. It is important to know, deep in your heart, that you are capable of achieving your goals. This can be achieved via a number of methods. Some recommend positive imaging - picturing yourself as you will look after you have already gotten what you are trying for, then determine how it is that you got there. Stand before the mirror each morning and give yourself a motivational speech. Ignore those who say you can't.

Examine your goals

Is there a reason that you have not yet been able to reach your goals? Is your goal a realistic one? Perhaps being a professional basketball player is not in the cards if you are only five feet tall (although it is still possible). Are there things that you should do before you set your sights on a higher goal? Is what you are striving for what you actually want? A little self-examination may reveal that the reason that you have not been able to move forward towards you goal is that you are holding yourself back due to the fact that it is not what you really want.

Make a plan

This is closely tied in to examining your goals. People often fail because they reach for something before they are ready for it. For example, no one expects to become a doctor or a lawyer without first getting the appropriate education and credentials. Look at your overall goal and create a list of steps which you must reach before you can get what you ultimately want. Break these steps down into smaller, manageable goals. This will not only help you move towards your objective, it will provide you with a series of success which will help bolster your confidence, making it easier to continue. At the end of the day, instead of saying "I didn't make it to X again" you will be saying "Today I accomplished Z which brings me that much closer to X."

Sacrifices may be required

Whether your goal is to be a high powered attorney, an author, or the greatest snowboarder in the world, you will have to spend time working towards that end. Studying, researching, and practice will become your watch words. There will be times when you would rather do something else and will have to miss it. Remember that these sacrifices put you closer to what you want to achieve.

The journey is as important as the destination

Conversely, don't be so focused on one goal that you miss the rest of your life. While being driven is often seen as a positive trait, so is the ability to relax and enjoy ones life. Focusing too long and too hard on one thing will only result in someone who burns out quickly. When that one thing is acquired, it may have lost all of its value. Make time for friends, family, and fun as well as working towards your goal.

Remember that ultimately life is a series of successes and failures. No one achieves their goals on the first try. The roadblocks which life puts before us make it that much sweeter when we arrive at our destination.

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Anger Is an Illusion of Power

At times life presents a situation where someone enters into our office, home or school and brings frustration. Instead of checking the frustration at the door, like baggage at an airport, this person enters with full blown anger! Communication is filled with aggression! "We should have done this earlier! Why did I have to wait at the post office so long?!" By being angry or frustrated, we think that we are being powerful with a conflict. "I'm angry and I'm going to let everyone know I'm angry because then I will demonstrate my strength."

In reality, anger is a projection like a dart. The dart is thrown at a target with the desire to feel the power of making contact with focused intent. The targets become people and situations outside of oneself such as our closest friends, family, co-workers or pets. In yelling or using quick darting tones, people feel they will be heard and the targeted person will be able to fix or solve the problem. People whom use anger as a source of power alienate their friends and family because they are unfamiliar with other ways of working with anger. "Look at what you did! You dropped milk on the floor!" Anger has nothing to do with the milk on the floor. Okay, the milk is on the floor and it can be cleaned. The angry reaction is about something inside of oneself that is not being addressed. The true target is moving and vague because it's an unknown part of ourselves that wants resolution. If we are the ones reacting with anger and whom feel threatened, two questions worth asking are: What is underneath the anger? and What is the source?

Anger comes from a place of pain. Pain dictates the target and course of action. Anger, along with its family group of frustration, irritation, annoyance, and aggression, may seem to gets us what we want. If we are angry with a situation or a person, then that person or situation will have to change to respond to us. We believe that the deeper the anger, the more change occurs in our favor; however, this is a misperception. On the surface, it may seem that by being angry we are receiving what we want when in fact what we are receiving is an answer to our pain. A continual answer to the pain being projected outside of ourselves. Riding the pain cycle instead of walking from a true sense of self.

If anger is an illusion of power, then what is true power? Power can take on many forms. Some people relate to power as having confidence. Others refer to power as strength of mind. While others think of power as being able to lift 300 pounds of steel with one hand. Those are aspects of how power can been seen; however, true power is the connection with the core of oneself. True power is the unwavering knowing that lives in our bodies, minds and souls. Being able to stand in the face of chaos while also maintaining calm presence. Being able to say no to situations that no longer serve our lives. Being able to say yes to opportunities that uplift our lives in the direction of joy and fulfillment. Saying yes and taking steps towards situations and relationships that push our edges to help us grow. Saying no to situations and relationships that dull our experience and no longer support our life path. It's tricky business to walk the edge of knowing that something or someone no longer serves our lives. The edge holds grief and anger serves as grief's vehicle. Anger is a way to show us that we need to shift something in our lives such as our job, our relationships, our family, our friends or community. If the anger is not addressed, it comes out and attacks other people when the milk is spilled on the floor. Anger gives us the opportunity to transform our lives rather than be a vehicle of pain. Transformation occurs by naming the pain, healthy releasing of anger associated with the pain (examples: physical exercise, arts, writing, counseling) and resolving the pain with acceptance.

It takes courage to step off the train of pain and take steps into the power of self. It takes strength to walk the path of self journey because then we have made the commitment to look deeply at our wounds, pain, emotions and how we are in the world.

Allowing ourselves to receive more of a true picture of our lives in this moment and every moment. In doing so, we realize the lies we've told ourselves about anger as a way to get what we want. We bring awareness to the patterns in our lives. Is there happiness? Are we pretending to be happy to feel safe? What is the source of anger today? The source of sadness? The source of numbness? When anger shows up in the external form as someone or something disrupting us, it's time to look at what is actually happening internally. Are we not being honest with ourselves about our current life? Or is this person who is having an angry reaction going through a challenge that needs to be addressed? The questions and honest answers are the beginning steps that lead into the power of self. Steps that move us away from reacting from pain and move us toward responding with compassion and sincerity.

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6 Essential Steps To Making Your Action Plan Relevant

There is no single aspect of leadership, which is more essential or meaningful, than gaining the skills, abilities and necessities of quality planning. The better one becomes capable of thoroughly analyzing situations, with the intention of learning priorities, needs, concerns, and alternatives, the better he can develop the best course of action, and a plan for getting there. Nearly every leadership training program dedicates time to the significance of both strategic and action planning, yet very few organizations, and their leadership, ever go beyond surface efforts, or over-reliance on the safe, popular, same-old rhetoric and ideas! It is the intent of this article, therefore, to review the six essential steps one should follow, to assure he makes his action plan, relevant and meaningful.

1. Fully review needs and priorities: How can you hope to develop a meaningful, relevant plan, if you don't first thoroughly review the needs and priorities, which will make the biggest, most important difference. Maintain an open mind, listen far more than you speak, avoid empty rhetoric, under-promise and over-deliver! Address current concerns in a forward-looking manner, and you make your potential action plan, far more meaningful!

2. Consider options and alternatives: Never prejudge, but rather consider options and alternatives! Think about the what-ifs, from a positive, can-do, action-oriented perspective. How will every possibility impact your organization, and what are the potential possibilities and ramifications (both positive and negative)?

3. Develop your team carefully: No individual, regardless of talents, assets, intellects, skills, etc, can do it alone! He needs to involve both co-leaders as well as stakeholders, etc. We often hear people discuss the need to delegate, but beware that unless you do so with care, and select the right people, there may be more harm than benefit! Don't merely choose yes-men, or friends, or those who you believe you can dominate. Seek individuals with absolute integrity, and the highest level of personal responsibility, who you can count on, to do what they promise to! Train and oversee the members of your team, and carefully articulate your expectations, and their responsibilities/duties, etc.

4. Delegate effectively and properly: How will you break up responsibilities, and how will you assure a minimum of redundancy? Delegate by clearly identifying what each individual should and must do, and obtain a high level of assurance your confidence in them, is understood, and how they will communicate with you, as well as the timetable, etc. If you find the right team, your possibilities are exponentially enhanced!

5. Step-by-step, with contingencies and responsibilities: A wise man once told me, Do you know how to eat the elephant? One bite at a time? When we look at any project in increments/steps, we create a can-do mindset, which becomes self-motivating! Don't over-simplify the process, consider all foreseeable contingencies, and clearly articulate responsibilities, in a well-considered manner!

6. Start!: No matter how great your hopes, plans or expectations, no action plan becomes meaningful, until, and unless you actual start and proceed!

Leaders must create, develop, implement and pursue, an action plan that is relevant, and makes a significant difference, for the better! Become the best leader you can be!

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