Who's In Charge In Your Life? (by Jessica J Lockhart)

Whatever we chose to do in life, we chose it because we expect to gain something in exchange. If I snap at my daughter when she does something wrong, I do it because I expect her to change her behavior. When I let others tell me what to do, I accept it because I expect them to guide me better than I would. When I drink too much it is because I want to forget or have fun. We all do it. We do things because we expect rewards: good ones or bad ones, pleasure or pain. We do things to obtain pleasure. We do things to avoid pain. We provoke situations that will hopefully yield what we think we want or need. A baby cries when asking for something. An adult insults, teases or praises others because he or she wants something, too.

Most of us are not aware of our doing this when pain is involved. We don't realize that we're doing things to avoid an even greater pain. Let me illustrate it. Some people put up with a job they hate or an abusive boss because the pain of being rejected somewhere else would be too big. Or because the pain of being unemployed would hurt too much. They'd rather put up with the pain of their nasty days than risk suffering even more.

In that sense, we're all in charge of our own lives and decisions. We all choose what we have.

When the choosing is consciously done, we are in charge. When we are not aware that we are choosing, we become victims. We blame others. We think the world is doing that to us.

In the example I mentioned above, staying at that job out of fear without realizing that we are choosing to do so turns us into victims. We feel sorry for ourselves. We let others decide for us. And resent them for it. We feel powerless. But there always is a choice. Always. Even in the worst circumstances. Even in the most abusive ones. And whenever we do the choosing, we stop being victims and take control of our lives.

Another example I'd like to give you has to do with me. Quite a few years ago I had some car accidents (yes, in the plural) that really damaged my back and kept me in me acute, chronic pain on both legs and my back for seven whole years, every single day. I could barely walk and my doctors told me that a wheelchair was unavoidable. One could argue that I was the victim because the accidents hadn't been provoked by me. I'd say that my victimization started the moment I didn't accept my situation and decided to suffer from it.

But as soon as I chose to control my life even under those circumstances, I stopped being the victim. I couldn't walk everyday, true, but I could do tons of things still. And I did. I also found new doctors and let go of my old way of life.

Today I am still disabled and enjoy a magnificent, very fulfilling life. Yes, there are days when I'm in physical pain and can't walk or do walk with a sever limp. But I am alive and happy.

Some people say that I resign myself to my new life style. I disagree. Resignation would be accepting my reality and nothing else. But I'm proactively improving it. That's the key, the difference. I choose to improve my life every day, to enjoy it every minute, even when in pain. That is my choice. That is why I'm not a victim but in control.

I refuse to be a victim of my circumstances again. I am not my circumstances. And circumstances can always be changed. I choose pleasure, not pain. Even if the pain looks familiar.

What do you choose?

Enjoy life... ALL of it,

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Staying Motivated on the Job

From time to time, any worker can lose motivation on the job. It doesn't matter whether you work at a fast food restaurant or in one of the best law firms, a lack of motivation can happen any time and at any place. When you notice that you are lacking the motivation that you once had about your work, it is time to reflect and then take some actions to restore motivation and stay motivated.

Take Control Over What You Can

Take control over what you can in your work environment. Having a sense of control helps you to stay accountable and motivated. Even if you only have control over the most basic of things, take heart in it. Stop worrying about what you cannot control and focus on the positives. Seeing the good in your work environment will help you to stay motivated to come in and do your best.

Celebrate Your Accomplishments

No matter how small it is, celebrating an accomplishment is another excellent way to stay motivated. Did you get to work early every day for the past 30 days? Celebrate by stopping at your favorite coffee shop on your next day off. Did a customer tell your manager that you provided excellent service? Write down what the customer said and refer to it when you are feeling down. Even the smallest successes in the workplace will inspire you to achieve bigger ones.

Remind Yourself of Your Strengths

If you sense a loss of motivation, take a moment and reflect on your strengths. While most people are aware of their own weaknesses, it is better to think positively and focus on your strengths. Think of how to use your strengths to boost your motivation at work. Writing down a list of your strengths is helpful. From your ability to speak two languages fluently to your supreme organizational skills, write it all down. Then consider how you can use those strengths in the workplace.

Learn from Your Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes. When you realize that you have erred, consider how you reached your conclusion. Think back to every decision and what you could have done differently. Don't dwell on the error. Learn from it. This will help you stay motivated to make better decisions in the future.

Consider Your Career Goals

Think of the work you are doing in your current job and how it will help you to achieve your career goals. Perhaps you are a cashier in a grocery store and your goal is to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. The skills that you are currently developing will help you to get there. For example, great people skills are always a plus. As a cashier, you interact with people all day. You assist customers with their purchases. Answer their questions. Explain store rules. All the while managing money and staying up-to-date with technology. Consider how those skills can be utilized as you advance to shift supervisor, department head, store manager and beyond.

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Battle With the MIND! When Does It End?

1. Recognizing - The most important thing is for us to recognize that there is a battle going on in our mind, in fact it is one of the biggest battles that we will ever have to overcome. The mind is powerful and can bring us true success but on the other hand it can bring us into great failure. Failure to recognize the battle already places you in defeat, so recognition of this battle is critical to our Victory!

2. Refuse to be a Slave - We must take control of our thoughts and refuse to be a slave to our ego who is in control of our mind. Refusing to be a slave is only a decision that each one of us can make in order to be free. The thing is we each do it in our own time. Our minds have us thinking that we are doing what is in our own best interest, when in fact there is most likely inner conflict within our spirits. All too often we fail to recognize the gut feelings or our inner knowing as we are too busy to figure out why we have them.

3. Make a Decision - When we decide to win we have decided that we are no longer going to be a slave to our own minds. We have made the decision to take control of our own lives and our minds. We have decided that nothing is going to get in our way and we have "The Eye of the TIGER" once again. We are ready to take back what is rightfully ours and we won't stop until we achieve it.

4. Stamina - This is when you get your stamina back, which is empowering you and increasing your motivation to succeed. You may have been to hell and back like me and you are going for it with relentless determination. You know that the reason you are not winning the battle is only because of you and no one else. So in a way you are determined to "Kick Your Own A__" into gear and stop procrastination once and for all.

5. Success - Everyone's definition of success is going to be different and everyone is going to go through their own lessons. The quicker we learn the lessons the sooner we find success. If we ignore the lessons we end up repeating the same mistakes over and over again until we get it. It is when you get tired of making mistakes that you look back on the struggles and wonder what you were supposed to learn and you embrace it.

The battle with your mind will stop when you decide to take control and loose all that you thought you knew about who you are and why you are here.

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