5 Struggles Only Highly Intelligent People Will Understand

      

No one thinks you're funny.

It's true, when you're a step up in the smarts no one really gets your sense of humor. In a world full of Seth Rogan flicks, no one's going to get your nerdy humor. Bummer.

You're often ignored.

We live in a world of people who listen to their guts and not their brains. Sure, your facts are fine and good, but their principles, baseless as they may be, are what guides them. Prepare to be ignored.

It's harder to make new friends.

When most people are total dinguses, it can be hard to identify people you can actually tolerate spending time with. Of course, it's a two way street. They may not like you and your book learnin' smarts either.

You're too hard on yourself.

When you're highly intelligent, you tend to be hyper critical of everything you do and create. It makes being an artist especially difficult. You go over every brush stroke and word written more closely than anyone else would.

Anxiety comes too easily.

It's a real problem. Because you're slightly more self aware than most, it's easier to feel anxious about life, your problems, and the problems of the whole planet. Sometimes you just need to veg out with a Seth Rogan flick.

http://www.higherperspectives.com/intelligent-people-1571548773.html

5 Ways to Build Rapport With a Complete Stranger

"Did you see that game last night?" "How about all this rain we've been getting?" "That's a nice bowling trophy. I love bowling!" Ever use one of those questions? Thought so. Who are you kidding with that crap? In the words of Jeffrey Gitomer, "All things being equal, people buy from friends. All things NOT being equal, people buy from friends."

If people buy from people they like, one of your first goals should be to get your prospects to like you. For a salesperson, this can be tough. People have a hard time trusting salespeople with their time, money and business. Most people don't even want to talk to you. Welcome to reality: your prospects are busy and may feel that speaking with you is a complete waste of time. Many of your prospects may not even see a need for your product, or may be content with the version they already have. Point being, if you want to successfully establish rapport with your prospects, you'll have to do it quickly, before they get the chance to assume you're just like every other salesperson. Fortunately, there are 5 keys to help you get this friendship off to a quick start!

1. Relax - Have Fun!

It is your job to create an environment that is conducive to buying. Pointless, scripted, ice-breaking questions only create a cold selling environment. So relax and have a little bit of fun! As soon as you meet your prospective customer, you will be evaluated. That evaluation will be determined not just by how you feel, but also how you make your prospect feel. The only way to put your prospect at ease is to be at ease yourself. If you're uptight and contrived, your prospect will remain guarded and cold. If you are having fun, chances are your prospect will, too! After all, people buy from people, and your job as a professional communicator (a.k.a. salesperson) is to make your customer comfortable enough to grab a Coke from your refrigerator.

2. Lighten Up, Laugh It Up

Nothing is more powerful than humor when it comes to building rapport quickly with your customer. Laughter is the spark that ignites interest and cordiality between you and your prospect; it's hard to laugh with a person and not feel comfortable around them. Some salespeople take their job too seriously, and are so focused on the sale that they forget to think about the customer. So, lighten up! If you make them laugh, they may buy from you!

3. Get to the Point

You got them on the phone, you secured an appointment, and you got them in your store - now get to the point! State your objective and why they should care. Be careful not to use clichéd and insincere reasons like saving money, increasing productivity, and other transparent and ineffective reasons they have heard from so many salespeople before you. Prospects don't enjoy wasting time by playing games, and they certainly don't trust a salesperson that makes them. Being specific will clear the air and will lead to a conversation and relationship that you will both enjoy.

4. Show Humility, but Be Yourself

Salespeople seem to be born with a humility deficiency, which is probably why most prospects don't like them. Your prospects think that THEY are the most important person in the world, and they expect to be treated as such. To build rapport quickly, you must learn to put that customer and their needs first, regardless of the size of the sale. Curb the talk about how your company is the biggest and the best, and skip the part about how your product is superior to all other products in the market. The prospect needs to come to that realization independently, and the only way for that to happen is for you to remain humble. Being humble doesn't mean that you have to stifle your uniqueness. It simply means that you must let the prospect see and experience your uniqueness rather than having to hear you talk about it.

5. Be Sincere and Honest

Trust is the foundation for building a relationship with your prospect. You CANNOT fake this! If you are only in it for the commission, it will show! You must be sincere and honest throughout every step of the process to be successful. Being sincere means believing in yourself, your product, and your company wholeheartedly. It means believing your product or service will benefit the prospect. You must be passionate about wanting to help your prospect and do so in an honest way. Without sincerity and honesty, you have no chance at building the rapport that will lead to loyal business. When you believe in your heart that your product will have a profound impact on your prospect, it will accompany every word and impression delivered to that person. Your words will be more meaningful and your prospect will be more likely to respond to them. So the next time you are tasked with trying to make a sale, remember to relax, laugh, and enjoy yourself; you're really just making a new friend!

https://ezinearticles.com/?5-Ways-to-Build-Rapport-With-a-Complete-Stranger&id=123546

6 Savvy Life Hacks From Mark Zuckerberg, Richard Branson, and More

They're at the top of their industries and among the most productive people in the world. How do these execs do it? Check out some of the rituals that rule their days.

While it's true that everyone works differently, the world's most successful leaders often have one thing in common: Their days are marked by certain rituals.

After all, even Mark Zuckerberg needs a little bit of structure: That's why his resolution for 2014 was to write handwritten thank-you notes every single day of the year. (He readily admits that it wasn't easy.) The famed Facebook founder has developed quite the reputation when it comes to personal goal setting: In 2010, he vowed to learn Mandarin Chinese, and in 2011 he only ate meat that he slaughtered himself. 

While some of these hacks err more on the side of weird--think Tony Hsieh's penchant for calling his assistants his "Time Ninjas"--others are probably more familiar to you, like Branson's affinity for tea and long, hot baths. 

These are the top six life hacks from some of the biggest names in business: 

1. Commit to getting shuteye.

Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg is probably one of the best-connected executives in the world, so you might be surprised to learn that she also turns off her phone every night before bed. In a 2013 interview with USA Today, the acclaimed Lean In author explained that she needs to unplug completely in order to get a good night's sleep.

Sandberg is probably onto something here: Studies show that using electronic devices before going to bed can have a detrimental impact on your sleep. Robert Rosenberg, a sleep medicine specialist at Sleep Disorders Center of Prescott Valley, recently told Yahoo News that the blue light given off by your phone screen prevents the production of melatonin in the body, which is the hormone that makes you feel drowsy.

2. Bake some humour into the daily grind.

Tony Hsieh, the founder and CEO of Zappos, may be seriously successful in the e-commerce industry, but he likes to keep things light-hearted around the office. He toldThe New York Times, for instance, that the top executives are referred to as "monkeys," and they sit in what's called "Monkey Row" at Zappos's Las Vegas headquarters. He added that his favorite part of the workday is joking around with his "Time Ninjas"--or whom everyone else might mundanely call their executive assistants.

3. Switch it up. 

Like Hsieh, Richard Branson is known for being a consummate optimist who's also committed to having fun. To that end, the Virgin Group founder believes that the best routine is not to have one: Writing in his Live Mint column back in September of 2012, Branson advocated for making every single day unique. While he offers a few of his top tips for success--such as taking breaks throughout the day, drinking English tea, or enjoying a long, hot bath to unwind--he ultimately says that an entrepreneur's most valuable trait is flexibility. 

4. Channel your inner Jedi.

In perhaps one of the stranger displays of entrepreneurial zeal, fashion designer and investor Marc Ecko collects Star Wars memorabilia for good luck.

The habit has helped create an image of Ecko that he himself once described to The New York Times Magazine as "a pop-culture Willy Wonka, crossed with Richard Branson."

Hey, whatever works. 

5. Practice mindfulness. 

Many have touted the practice of mindfulness meditation, but perhaps few so vehemently as Def Jam creator and business mogul Russell Simmons. Simmons, who meditates every Sunday morning with a transcendental meditation teacher whom he calls "the monk," has also published a book about meditation called Success Through Stillness, in which he argues that meditating on a regular basis can help you reach your maximum potential. 

6. Read voraciously.

Mark Zuckerberg announced in January that his resolution for 2015 would be to read a new book every other week--and not just books about business. The Facebook founder and top executive wants to learn more about different cultures and belief systems. His first selection was The End of Power by Moises Naim. You can follow Zuck's book club on the Facebook page: A Year of Books.

What are some of your rituals? 

http://www.inc.com/zoe-henry/the-daily-habits-that-keep-mark-zuckerberg-and-richard-branson-successful.html

Public Speaking Techniques Tested at the Front Line

8 tips to stay calm and make presentations like a pro

"Please, can I come and see you? Please!"

"Well it's half past eight..."

"I know, but I'm petrified! I have to talk in front of three hundred people tomorrow at nine and (sob) I can't do it..."

How could I refuse? Thirty minutes later on that rainy night, face to face, Lin was telling me how she'd always hated public speaking; how she'd even fled the room once, moments before going on to speak; and how, being a regional manager in her company, she was running low on excuses not to present to colleagues. For Lin, the next morning loomed like a career-busting tsunami.

She was typical. Frightened public speakers generally fear the same things: drying up, mind going blank, making an idiot of yourself. Lin also spoke about her terror of being seen to be nervous, being heckled, or not being able to answer 'the question from Hell' from a more well-informed member of the audience. Tomorrow's audience was, in her mind, an amorphous monster whose sole mission was to seek and destroy...Lin.

I suggested that a public presentation was more like leading a joint exploration into knowledge and that if others had contributions above and beyond what she brought to the presentation, then that was all well and good. Of course, she was too anxious to be convinced by this idea at the time, but I came back to it later as she entered a more relaxed state of mind.

I love a challenge and I resolved, there and then, not just to help her survive her public speaking 'nightmare' but to prepare her to give a spellbinding, fascinating, humourous, and uniquely informative talk. I knew she could do it. Why? Because I'd been there myself. I went from trembling in front of a dozen people to super-relaxed in front of hundreds.

We got to work, and some of what we did forms the basis of these public speaking techniques.

1) Prepare more than just your speech

Sure, you need to be fully up to speed with your content - it needs to feel part of you - and Lin had obsessively memorized her material. But you also need to prepare the way you're going to be, feel, and come across.

What we imagine about how we'll react to the future has an effect on how we experience that future. If I keep visualizing myself 'falling apart' during my upcoming dentist visit, then I am actually priming my mind to respond with fear when I visit the dentist for real.

Lin told me she wanted to feel totally relaxed when up in front of her fellow workers. After years of presenting day-long seminars to hundreds at a time, I reassured her that she'd need to keep some of her arousal. We all need a little buzz to add depth, energy, even credibility to our speeches. And the right level of emotional arousal actually helps you recall facts better (1).

Sit down and close your eyes. Breathe deeply (make sure your out-breath is longer than your in-breath, as this quickly switches on the relaxation response). Next, visualize yourself as if you are a member of the audience looking on, seeing yourself up there looking relaxed, friendly, and in flow. It's amazing how powerful this 'self-hypnotic' technique is in priming your mind to be like this for real.

For a flavour of this exercise, click and listen to the free audio at the link below.

2) Take control of your mind

Fear blocks thought, but it also works the other way. Forcing yourself to think has the effect of lowering - even switching off - fear. And the simplest way to do this is to use numbers. The first time I was about to begin speaking to hundreds, I found myself suddenly feeling anxious. I immediately thought to myself: "Okay Mark, if 10 is ultimately terrified and 1 is completely relaxed, where am I right now?" I put myself at a 6.

Now, in doing this, I made myself use the thinking part of my brain, which had the instant effect of 'diluting' the more emotional part. Just doing this made me feel calmer. Next I told myself I would only start speaking when I was down to a 3 - a reasonable level of arousal. I focussed on my breathing, being sure to extend and lengthen the out-breath as compared to the in-breath. In a minute or so, I was down to a 3. Doing this gives you the control back - it's an amazing technique; try it. : )

3) Ditch the notes and connect instead

A speech is a journey. You need recognizable landmarks to guide your direction, but reading from notes can make for a hideously uninspiring presentation. Lin had learnt her material and felt that her job was just to regurgitate it like a half-digested meal.

No! A great speech should feel like you and the audience are discovering things together. As if you are making connections there and then from a solid base of knowledge. It needs to feel spontaneous, not like a pre-recorded playback.

Learn your material so that you can relate it naturally - as you would if you were talking to a friend. PowerPoint can be fine, as it can display valuable information and also prompt you, reminding you where you are. But it should be secondary to you, not the other way about.

4) Be a human being

However serious or factual your material, you need to be human. A relaxed conversational style is more compelling and comfortable to listen to than an overly serious, monotone, or dry delivery.

Vary your voice tone and facial expression. Keep people focussed. Tell anecdotes and stories and as you tell them, act them out in the way you use your voice. If you're talking about how angry someone was, sound a little angry. If you're describing an inspirational vision for your company, then sound inspired and excited. The best storytellers convey the twists and turns of their stories with every part of themselves, not just their words.

Tell stories and use your words to paint pictures in the minds of your audience, but keep the main points simple and clear. Summarize why you told a story in simple points, but don't give lots of unnecessary detail where it's not needed. Edit your speech as you go. Every word, no matter how relaxed and conversational, should count.

5) Model great speakers

No, I don't mean strutting down the catwalk whilst displaying attractive audio equipment.

Watch and listen to as many relaxed, entertaining, and dynamic public speakers as you can. Focussing on how you are going to do it well, rather than on how you fear it might be (see Tip 1), sets your blueprint. Modelling someone - allowing their positive attributes and skills to rub off on you - happens through repeated contact with or viewing of these people in action. I modelled my early public presentations on how other speakers (whom I admired) gave their lectures. Pretty soon you become the speaker that others want to emulate.

6) Relate to your audience (but don't worry about them)

When you are presenting, you are just having a conversation; albeit a rather one-way chat. All you need to be is you. Public speakers don't have to suddenly become 'information-emitting machines'. Scan the audience with your eyes, smile sometimes, and don't just focus on the more friendly-looking ones at the expense of the natural frowners. Relax about facial feedback. It's easy to mistake blank looks or even frowns as indications of a person not liking you or your material - when, in fact, they may just be anxious themselves or concentrating hard.

Most people will not be grinning ear to ear and nodding enthusiastically all the time - and that's fine.

7) Use humour where you can

Public speaking humour can fix ideas, as well as illuminating unexpected perspectives. It can of course also light up your whole presentation. But it has to be done in an (apparently) spontaneous way.

If I ever find the whole room plunged into silence in response to one of my infinitely witty remarks, I'll immediately activate Plan B and run out the back. (See? That was a joke and you didn't laugh!) Am I bothered? No, I'm cool with that. Really, though, I'll comment on the fact that no one laughed and sometimes that gets a laugh. More often than not, people laugh at all kinds of rubbish jokes - you end up feeling wittier than Oscar Wilde; it's great! : )

If you appear terrified when making a joke, the audience may not respond as they would when you are relaxed, because you are sending mixed signals. Your words say, "Look, I'm being creative and funny," but your voice tone, body posture, and other unconscious signals say, "I am terrified!" And people rely much more on these unconscious elements of your communication.

Overall, I think sprinkling humour into your talk is worth the risk, because it makes your presentation more interesting and fun. And it's a wonderful feeling when you make an audience roar with laughter! (When they're supposed to! : ) )

8) Handle your audience - you're the daddy! (Or mummy!)

A great public speaker will lead the mood of the audience and determine (not dictate) the session. This means you decide when it's okay to ask questions, how long the session will last, and whether one person is asking too many questions at the expense of other people having their turn. You're the boss (although a nice democratic one).

Here are a few (mini) public speaking tips for managing your audience.

• At the start of your speech, request that people raise their hand before any comments or questions. Or designate a specific time for questioning, such as at the end.
• If someone does begin to interrupt or make asides, politely remind them of your opening remarks. Most people will respond instantly to this.
• If someone tells you they totally disagree with your point, you can try to refute them or open the debate up to the wider audience - where, more likely than not, others will defend your position for you. Remain calm, though - there's nothing to hide. Remember, your job is merely to present ideas and information in a compelling way, not to get into arguments with one audience member at the expense of the others. Ask them to come and see you afterwards for further discussion, as you have limited time and much material to cover.
• If someone asks you a question you don't know the answer to, then admit you don't know and either promise to find out for them or ask them to find out for you because you'd love to know. Even the greatest experts don't know absolutely everything, and admitting you don't know something will earn you respect. If you're relaxed about it, then so will they be.
• Stick to the main points of your speech. You don't have to answer questions immediately or on the questioner's terms. If people wish to side-line, they can do it afterwards or during a break.
• Remember: It's not about you justifying yourself to your audience. They carry half the responsibility. They are required to be polite, to listen and absorb what you're saying, to ask relevant questions, and to know when to keep quiet. Your responsibility extends only so far.

And lastly, enjoy it! When you go into flow, it's amazing how comfortable you can feel, how 'at home', even. As Lin said months later when she'd delivered many more speeches, "I rock at public speaking now; and I love it!"

http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/public-speaking-techniques/

A Gratitude Habit to Boost Your Positivity

Be grateful when bad things don’t happen.

There’s a blackout while I’m in the basement of my house. At least it didn’t happen when I was cleaning the cats’ litter box, I tell myself. Next morning, I spill coffee all over the kitchen counter. At least it didn’t go in the silverware drawer. Then it’s on to bonking my hip on a table (at least I didn’t cut myself), burning the breakfast sausages (at least the kitchen didn’t catch fire), and buying $150 worth of groceries (at least it was cheaper than buying those same groceries in Tokyo). And so on, every day.

Friends of mine—accustomed to my “at least” habit—crack me up by saying, “You’re so positive!” I think they see me as a 21st-century Pollyanna, that sunny and fictitious orphan. In fact, as my husband knows, I’m a private expert at imagining the worst. Does my kid have a sniffle? I’ll see that sniffle and raise it to pneumonia. Is she late getting home from school? Bam: I picture a hideous bus crash. For me, the gratitude-for-what-hasn’t-happened mindset is a way of using my hyperactive imagination for good.

And, just in time for Thanksgiving, I’m pleased to report that a number of scientists are in my corner. No, they haven’t specifically endorsed—yet—my pattern of being grateful 30 times a day that small problems weren’t more drastic. But their research does suggest that picturing sadder versions of your past might make you happier in the present.

At the University of Virginia, the University of Western Ontario and other places, psychologists asked people to imagine that something in their lives (either bad or good) had turned out worse. In one study, for instance, students remembered a test they had done poorly on and imagined having done even more poorly. In another, people in romantic relationships imagined never having met their beloved. This way of seeing things—known in the psych biz as “downward counterfactual thinking”—had swift results: Those who imagined getting lower grades were in better moods immediately afterward than those who imagined getting higher grades; those who pictured a world where they hadn’t met Mr. or Ms. Right promptly reported more satisfaction with that person than they had two weeks before.

What explains such shifts? Maybe, scientists suggest, it’s that when you imagine a worse version of events, you rekindle the novelty of reality: But I did meet Bill! I didn’t get an F! I scooped the cat poop before the lights went out! And novelty seems key to enjoying your blessings. (Which is why even the best memories—from reaching a professional goal to watching your World Cup team score a winning one—feel less thrilling as time passes.)

Could “downward counterfactual thinking” goose long-term happiness? Could it prepare us to cope with major challenges? Science has yet to offer a verdict. But—true to my Pollyanna reputation—I’m optimistic. As a 2008 paper in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology points out, small daily boosts of positive emotion “improved life satisfaction and reduced depressive symptoms over time.”

And I can definitely vouch that my “at least” habit brings daily boosts of positive emotion—even, on occasion, rueful laughter. Now if I could just quit spilling coffee and walking into things, I’d be in business.

How you deal with the insanity life throws at us every day is your choice. Find out how to stop negative thinking your sense of humor.

https://www.success.com/a-gratitude-habit-to-boost-your-positivity/

How to Spot and Deal With Passive-Aggressive People

 8 keys to surviving passive-aggressives at home and at work.

Behind the smile, a hidden knife!―Ancient Chinese proverb describing passive-aggressive behavior.

The NYU Medical Centre defines a passive-aggressive individual as someone who "may appear to comply or act appropriately, but actually behaves negatively and passively resists." Passive- aggressive actions can range from the relatively mild, such as making excuses for not getting together, to the very serious, such as sabotaging someone’s well-being and success.

Most chronically passive-aggressive individuals have four common characteristics:

1. They’re unreasonable to deal with.
2. They’re uncomfortable to experience.
3. They rarely express their hostility directly.
4. They repeat their subterfuge behavior over time.

Passive aggressiveness may be directed towards a person or a group. The root causes are complex and deep-seated. Whatever the reasons that may drive an individual to be passive-aggressive, it’s not easy to be on the receiving end of such veiled hostilities. How can one successfully manage these situations? Here are 8 keys to handling passive-aggressive people. Not all of the tips below may apply to your particular situation. Simply utilize what works and leave the rest:

1. Don’t Overreact. Reduce Personalization and Misunderstanding.

When you experience possible passive-aggressive behavior from someone for the first time, avoid jumping to a negative conclusion. Instead, come up with multiple ways of viewing the situation before reacting. For example, I may be tempted to think my colleague didn’t return my email because she’s ignoring my suggestion, or I can consider the possibility that she’s taking some time to decide. When we avoid personalizing other people's behaviors, we can perceive their expressions more objectively. People do what they do because of them more than because of us. Widening our perspective can reduce the possibility of misunderstanding.  

On the other hand, if the individual has clearly shown a pattern of passive-aggressiveness, employ any combination of the following action steps as appropriate:

2. Keep Your Distance Whenever Possible.

In some ways, passive-aggressives are more difficult to deal with than those who are openly hostile. An openly aggressive person is direct in words and action, which makes him or her more predictable. A passive-aggressive, on the other hand, hides a knife behind a smile. He or she operates on a hidden script, and you never know when you might be disenfranchised by his or her covert machinations. When confronted, the passive-aggressive will almost always deny responsibility. For these reasons, when you need to deal with someone who’s chronically passive-aggressive, be diplomatic and apply the tips from this article as you see fit. The rest of the time, keep a healthy distance.

3. Don’t Try to Change Them.

Some people try to change chronically passive-aggressive individuals through time-consuming dialogue about their behavior. Such efforts are admirable, but often end in frustration and disappointment. As mentioned earlier, reasons for passive aggressiveness are complex and deep-seated. A passive-aggressive person changes only when he or she matures and becomes more self-aware. It’s not your job to change the person. The best way to deal with passive-aggressives is to focus not on changing their attitude and behavior, but rather solidly taking charge of your own.

4. Don’t Get Sucked In. Avoid Tit for Tat.

It’s understandable to be upset when you’re on the receiving end of passive-aggressive behavior. There may be an urge to "strike back" overtly by arguing and using pointed language, or worse yet, by becoming passive-aggressive yourself. Neither approach is helpful, as the passive-aggressive will likely respond to your overt accusations with denial and claims of victimhood, and to any passive-aggressiveness on your part with even more covert hostility.  All the while, you’re suffering because you have allowed this instigator to take away your equanimity. Don’t give someone the power to turn you into the type of person you don’t like to be.  

5. In Relatively Mild Situations, Display Superior Composure Through Appropriate Humor.

Humour is a powerful communication tool. Years ago I knew a co-worker who was quite stuck-up. One day a colleague of mine said, “Hello, how are you?” to him. When the egotistical co-worker ignored her greeting completely, my colleague didn't feel offended. Instead, she smiled good-naturedly and quipped, “That good, huh?” This broke the ice and the two of them started a friendly conversation. Brilliant.

When appropriately used, humour can shine light on the truth, disarm difficult behavior, and show that you have superior composure. (In my reference guide "How to Successfully Handle Passive-Aggressive People, " I explain the psychology of humor in conflict resolution, and offer a variety of ways one can use humor to reduce or eliminate difficult behavior.)

6. In Serious Situations, Pro-actively Deal with the Problem Early On and Formalize Your Communication.

With passive-aggressives with whom you need to interact on a regular basis, it’s important to put a stop to any serious, potentially damaging patterns early on. Tolerating passive aggression will only encourage the negative behavior to continue and intensify.

Let yourself, not the passive-aggressive, be the one who sets the tone of the relationship. Whenever possible, formalize your daily communication with the passive-aggressive by either putting things in writing, or having a third party present as witness. Keep a paper trail of facts, issues, agreements, disagreements, timelines, and deadlines.

When a passive-aggressive incident occurs, whether it’s unfulfilled responsibility or inappropriate joking, have one or more witnesses present when you bring up the issue. At work, a witness can be someone who’s physically present, or an appropriate individual(s) to whom you’re copying your written correspondence. Ask the passive-aggressive person probing or clarifying questions to gather information and fact-check. Review previous communications and documentation to substantiate your position. Avoid making accusations and statements that begin with you, which are more likely to trigger defensiveness. Instead, use sentences that begin with I, it, we, let’s, and this, followed by facts. For example:

• Ineffective communication: "You didn’t meet the deadline."
• Effective communication: "I noticed that the deadline wasn’t met."
• Ineffective communication: "Your joking is really offensive."
• Effective communication: "I don’t feel comfortable with your joking. It’s offensive to me."

Again, document everything; fact-check; and establish your credibility with your command of evidence regarding the issue.

7. Give the Passive-Aggressive a Chance to Help Solve the Problem, If Appropriate.

Many passive-aggressive individuals behave as they do because they don’t believe they have a voice, or think that they’re not being listened to. When appropriate, include the person in discussions on challenges and solutions. Solicit their input. Ask, for example, "Given the desired outcome, how would you handle this issue?" See if they come up with any constructive solutions. On the other hand, if what you hear are mostly complaints and criticisms, don’t agree or disagree. Simply say that you’ll keep what they said in mind, and get on with what you need to get done.

8. Set Consequences to Lower Resistance and Compel Cooperation.

Since passive-aggressive individuals operate covertly, they will almost always put up resistance when confronted on their behavior. Denial, excuse making, and finger pointing are just a few of the likely retorts. Regardless of what they say, declare what you're willing to do going forward. Importantly, offer one or more strong consequences to compel the passive-aggressive to reconsider his or her behavior.

The ability to identify and assert consequence is one of the most powerful skills we can use to "stand down" a passive-aggressive person. Effectively articulated, consequences give pause to the difficult individual, and compels her or him to shift from obstruction to cooperation. (In my reference guide “How to Successfully Handle Passive-Aggressive People."consequence is presented as seven different types of power you can utilize to affect positive change.)

Although passive-aggressive people are not pleasant to deal with, there are many effective skills and strategies you can employ to minimize their damage and gain their cooperation, while increasing your own confidence, composure, and problem-solving prowess. It’s one important aspect of leadership success.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201401/how-spot-and-deal-passive-aggressive-people