How to Overcome Your Fears of Success?

Did you know that many people are uncomfortable with the prospect of success? When they think of success they become afraid and begin to sabotage themselves?. It's seems hard to believe but it's true. Are of one those people? Failure might not be ideal, but it can be more comfortable than the possibility of something more. Eliminating your fear of success could be all you need to do to take your life to the next level. Here are a few tips on how you can do that.

The fear of success can manifest itself in different ways. Procrastination, self-sabotage, and an inability to concentrate on important tasks are signs of discomfort with success. Do you suddenly feel tired when performing a task that could take your career to the next level? These are signs that your subconscious is derailing your efforts. Do you suddenly stop trying to finish tasks you know could lead you to the next level of success?

Reject negative beliefs and attributions. Attack your negative beliefs. Make a list of your negative beliefs regarding success. Question them.

How do you know this belief is true? How do you know others are telling the truth?

Where did this belief originate? What does the data show?

What is your negative belief costing you? Is tit making trust yourself less and doubt yourself more?

Success is more complex than failure. It can seem easier to deal with your life as it is than to become successful. The more successful you become, the more visible you become. You're more exposed to criticism. You have more responsibility. You may have to live with more pressure. You may have more people blaming for their own failures and struggles. This can be hard to handle and when you think about it, you may simply want to go back to being in a situation where people do not talk about you.

Remind yourself that you'll have access to more resources if you're successful. An excess of resources results in more comfort. When you have plenty of money and influence, life becomes easier. The other thing to remember is that if your success as a a result of your living according to your values, your self-worth, happiness and wellness will increase!

Have a vision of success that appeals to you. Are you afraid that massive success will result in a loss of free time? Build a vision of success that allows you to work on the beach for a few hours each day with your laptop. Success won't happen if your vision of success is unappealing. What is your ideal version of success? What will it take for you to get there? Can success help you have more time for yourself and your family or will it make your time management more challenging? When you make a list about that things that excite about success, your fear of success will begin to fade away. Remind yourself of some of the advantages that success can bring: influence, money, social status, comfort, contribution, and so on.

Use logic to motivate yourself. Enjoy the process of becoming successful. Success can seem like a lot of work. If you view the work as misery, no success will be attractive enough to motivate you. Find a way to enjoy the process of becoming successful. You might choose to value what you'll learn or the people you meet along the way. The more successful you become in one aspect or dimension of your life, the easier you can apply it to all aspects or dimensions of your life.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Overcome-Your-Fears-of-Success?&id=10481716

Why You Shouldn't Speak When Angry and What to Do Instead

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret"

Ambrose Bierce

When you are angry you feel a sea of anger rising within you and the easiest way to drain it is by lashing out at the source.

It's natural, it's psychological, but it's the trigger that makes the difference.

Why are you angry, for what reason? Are you angry because you saw a man hit an innocent dog on the road or are you angry because your mother said there were no more meatballs left?

Anger is your reaction to a trigger, and whether you choose to cuss out someone or pump iron at the gym is your way of dealing with it.

But anger-laced speech - especially that's impulsive and not thoroughly thought through - would wreak havoc on relationships, cost you professionally and maim your reputation.

But isn't imploding inside unhealthy for you? When that sea of anger is in turbulence within you, isn't it causing the maximum harm to the person himself?

No, we get to how you deal with anger without saying hurtful words later, here's why you shouldn't speak when angry.

Why you shouldn't speak when angry?

Emotions and not logic control your words - Saying something hurtful is a knee-jerk reaction to being angered. You might call your husband a 'vile selfish loser' but in reality you don't mean any of it.

Psychologically speaking, hurtful words are your way of hurting the person who has upset you. So you say things that'd hit home. Your entire speech is governed by negative emotions when you are angry and these emotions are mostly concentrated in your upper chest area (hence the tightening of the chest), shoulders and forearms (you feel your shoulders stiff up when you are angry), face (that's why you go red) and the amygdala part of the brain.

You might say something you'd regret - And that happens about every time. Whether it is those hurtful words or letting out information that you were not supposed to divulge, speaking when angry would invariably make you regret.

And you might not know all the facts - You might end up not only looking like a negative person but also an idiot for saying something that's not true or downright stupid. What's that thing they say? Improve your argument, don't raise your voice.

You reveal you are a weak person - It takes a lot of mental and emotional strength to not speak when angry. When every iota of your body is itching to react, when the amygdala is going mad for some reaction, you tone it down.

Keep calm and don't be provoked. That is true strength of character and will power, not lashing out.

How to deal with anger constructively?

Anger is your reaction to something. You need to find out if the reason for your anger is really a reason or is it just an excuse for you to blow some steam.

We live in a fast-paced life and we get stressed. A lot of times this stress comes out on people close to us and by the slightest of triggers.

The first step is to understand these triggers. Do you get angry when you have been hungry for too long? It's more common than you think, you should see the way men rage after hitting it at the gym.

And then become quite gentlemanly once they eat. Hunger and anger is associated, when your body demands nutrients and the brain is desperately sending signals to you to fill that demand, you are irritable and prone to react.

If your kid has suddenly developed an anger issue, it might be time to have a little talk. Is he getting bullied in school? Did he take something you said to heart and is dwelling on it?

There are valid reasons behind getting angry and once you understand these reasons and the emotions associated with them, you can work on it better.

Challenge the negative beliefs - Negative thoughts are to anger what fuel is to fire. So when you had a fight with your spouse and you want to think that 'yeah, it's not like she cares about me' challenge this thought by telling the brain 'no that's not right she does care about me and the family. She works hard for us and loves us'.

You undermine the negative beliefs by challenging them. And subsequently your anger dissipates too.

Talk about the issue, but not immediately - Keep yourself busy when you are angry. Go watch your favorite TV show or listen to good music and then later when you cool down, talk about the issue.

And it's not just when you are angry with someone but also when you are angry about something. Talking always help.

Meditate - Dealing with anger is all about controlling your emotions and the best way to control your emotions is to always be in control of them, at any given time. Meditation strengthens the brain's ability to deal with emotions and also changes negative emotions to positive.

You can also do the deep breathing exercise. Probably the most recommended anger management tip is to start breathing deeply. Also dissociation works, distance yourself from what's making you angry either physically or mentally.

Remember that you can make the maximum impact by saying words that are logical and correct instead of saying something that is vile and hurtful.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Why-You-Shouldnt-Speak-When-Angry-and-What-to-Do-Instead&id=9342918

How to Make Affirmations More Effective

When you SUCCESSFULLY replace negative self-talk with POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS, your life shifts.

The challenge is to actually make it happen.

Many negative beliefs you have about yourself get established in childhood.

• They become deeply embedded in your psyche, emotions, and even in your physical body.
• They become tightly woven into your overall belief system and emotional fabric.
• They affect how you see and feel about yourself, the world, and your relationships with others.
• They hold you back from experiencing love, joy, and bliss.
• They directly affect your ability to be successful in all areas of life.

Positive statements that contradict your current beliefs do not easily replace negative self-talk that has been with you for a lifetime or more.

Some negative statements may be easily replaced by positive ones, but more often than not, you may find yourself struggling to transform the old self-talk into consistently optimistic, creative, positive thinking and talking patterns.

What to do?

Are you going to be stuck forever in negativity?

NO!

You CAN make the changes you desire.

You CAN make these changes permanent.

GETTING STARTED

• Start by identifying your negative thoughts and the feelings that surround them.
• Make a list of whatever comes to mind. You probably already know what many of them are because they zip through your mind. All you need do is start paying attention.
• Make 2 columns on each page of a notebook or journal and write the list of negative thoughts in the left-hand column.
• Leave enough space between them so that you have room in the right-hand column to write a positive message to replace each negative one.
• The next step may require some assistance, but you can probably get started on your own.
• Start writing positive statements in the right hand column for each negative message.
• Try different wording until the new statement feels very positive, even if it's a bit uncomfortable to imagine yourself actually believing it. You have to get a little ways into your discomfort zone to know that the message is truly positive enough.

INITIATING TRANSFORMATION

Now comes the challenge of removing the negative belief or message and replacing it with the positive one.

One way to approach this is to work with a professional, such as myself.

Using special energetic techniques, the negative message and the emotional debris that holds it in place can be energetically removed from your body.

Then, using related techniques, a positive message can be embedded as a replacement.

By using these techniques, your subconscious will be more likely to accept the new positive messages as "true" instead of rejecting them as false because they contradict some deeply held core belief.

By communicating with your subconscious through muscle testing, I can identify which new messages are acceptable to your subconscious and which ones are being rejected.

In the same way, I can identify emotional blocks to accepting the new belief.

Then using other techniques I can remove whatever is blocking the new belief.

Of course, there are no "quick fixes."

Several layers may have to be addressed to finally make it possible for a new, positive belief to be planted, nourished, and take root.

A SECOND APPROACH

Another approach is to place a new positive message everywhere in all aspects of your being. If you decide to use this method, do only 1 positive message at a time.

In a self-guided meditation, you can place it in all your chakras, organs, glands, joints, bones, muscles, and so on.

• Ask your I Am Presence to assist you.
• As you focus on each location in your bodies, say the positive message 3 times as you hold the intention of placing it in that spot.
• You can even do this at the cellular and DNA levels, so use your imagination and go as deeply as you are guided to go.
• After you have completed this process, place the affirmation in various locations around your home so your subconscious sees and reads it frequently.
• A favorite spot for me is the bathroom wall, as positive affirmations make great reading material. The more you read it, the more your subconscious is reminded of the new message.

The main limitation with this approach is that it doesn't remove the negative message. It simply places the new one everywhere inside you.

Furthermore, this approach takes longer to embed a new positive belief than the one first described.

Still, once you've used it on a particular message, you may find that a positive affirmation you were having trouble embedding has actually begun to take hold.

... AND FINALLY

Transformation IS possible.

If you feel stuck, you can be helped to get unstuck.

If you feel like giving up, you can be helped to find the courage and strength to continue on your path.

If you feel overwhelmed, you can be helped to restore your balance so you can take the next steps towards your goals.

If you choose to get rid of negative self-talk, you can be helped to do it!

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Make-Affirmations-More-Effective&id=9727281

The Art of Stress Management

How can you ensure complete success in managing chronic stress?

First, you have to become familiar with the actual stressors that are causing you to feel chronically stressed on a daily basis. This can be accomplished through regular journaling.

Second, you have to identify the negative beliefs and values that you may have. These beliefs and values may be stopping you from successfully managing your stress. This can be done through consistent self-analysis.

Third, you also have to accept the fact that not everything can be done in one day or one week. Stress management is actually a lifelong endeavor which will help create better beliefs, behaviors and thought patterns.

Today's discussion will center on some additional guidelines which you can also use to improve your handling of stress management. You can find a few more essential guidelines below:

1. Practice One or Practice Them All - The fact of the matter is that there is no "perfect formula" for relieving stress. I personally believe that stress dissipates more quickly through deep tissue massage because I really feel relaxed and happy after a good massage. But that's just me; deep tissue massage may not be as effective for you.

This is why it's so important for people to seek out different methods of stress management.

Do not limit yourself to only one or two techniques. If something doesn't work for you, it doesn't mean that you do not have the capacity to manage your stress. It just means that you haven't found the right combination of techniques to bring you to your desired level of relaxation and happiness.

2. Assemble Your Army, One by One - Managing stress is literally a battle against bad habits and a myriad of stressors. What do you need to succeed in any battle?

Your personal anti-stress army, of course!

This personal army of yours will be composed of different relaxation techniques and behavioral modifications which you will learn as you progress with your stress management efforts.

The techniques which you will be using must fit the genetics of your lifestyle and way of life. If a technique just doesn't fit your lifestyle, it won't work. Learn to adjust and discard techniques that do not conform to what you feel is the right way to remedy stress in your life.

3. Keep Practicing! - Like I've said before, stress management is essentially a collection of different skills that will enable you to effectively combat stress before it makes you permanently sick. If you want full mastery of a specific skill, you must be willing to practice it until it becomes second nature.

This guideline may seem easy in comparison to my other reminders but in reality, it's one of the most challenging to carry out. Why? Because old habits die hard. For example, it can be very difficult for a person to listen more during an argument because the old habit was to outdo the other person in a screaming match.

Apart from learning new skills, effective stress management will also require you to change your attitudes and behaviors toward your stressors.

4. Don't Forget "Me" Time - In order to carry out your plans to relieve stress, you have to create space in your daily schedule for stress management. Now, I know that many stressed individuals feel that there isn't enough time in a whole day for everything that needs to be done.

However, I would like to point out that the statement "I wish there were two more hours in my day" is more of a state of mind than reality. The reality is that 12-18 hours of waking time is sufficient for most groups of tasks. There's also enough time for relaxation within this timeframe.

If you cannot fit everything that you need to do within this amount of time that simply means that you have poor time management skills. Evaluate how much time you spend on your different activities and try to create more balance within your day.

If you cannot fit everything that you need to do within this amount of time that simply means that there is opportunity for you to get support from a coach on how to create more balance in your life.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Art-of-Stress-Management&id=9395783

Is Your Mind Compromising Your Health?

The last time you had a cold, unspecified aches or pains, or just felt under the weather, did it occur to you that your state of mind might have had something to do with it? You may think "That's a crazy idea - I just caught a bug." And you did. However, there may have been underlying reasons why. Commonly these are:

1. Stress and how you cope or don't cope with it 

2. Your subconscious beliefs about your health and body

Whether we recognize the symptoms or not, stress is a factor of daily life: getting stuck in a traffic jam when you are late; having an argument with a friend; your car breaking down on the freeway; discovering your checking account is overdrawn; a call from school because your child has gotten in trouble again... However, not all stress is caused by external factors. We do a great job of creating our own stress by excessively worrying about something that may or may not happen, or continually thinking pessimistic thoughts.

While we ordinarily think of stressors as being negative - an overwhelming work load, an exhausting schedule or a rocky relationship, any situation that makes high demands on us or forces change can be stressful. This includes positive events such as getting married, buying a house, going to college, receiving a promotion or moving to a new city.

For short periods of time stress can actually be beneficial. It helps you meet deadlines or challenges, and keeps you sharp and focused during a presentation at work or during a sports competition. But too much stress can overwhelm the body and make us sick, both mentally and physically. While our bodies are designed to handle short periods of stress, we are not equipped to handle long lasting, chronic stress without consequences. Prolonged stress raises blood pressure, creates tension in the body and compromises the immune system. Not only does a compromised immune system make you vulnerable to all the "bugs" out there, many other problems can be caused or worsened as well. Some of these include: heart disease, pain, depression, weight issues, auto immune diseases, skin conditions such as eczema and sleep disorders.

Subconscious beliefs play a large role in the state of your health as well. For over 50 years medical professionals have been demonstrating that the mind can heal the body by something known as the "placebo effect." A placebo is a substance that has no known medical benefits, such as sterile water, saline solution or a sugar pill. A placebo is nothing more than a fake treatment that in some cases can produce very real results. The expectation of the patient is key - the more a person believes the treatment will work the more likely it will. Less known is the placebo effect's ugly twin, the "nocebo effect." This is the placebo effect in reverse. If you believe something is harmful it most likely is or will be.

Negative beliefs can be extremely harmful to the human body. According to Bruce Lipton, a former medical school professor, research scientist and author of The Biology of Belief, we are what we believe. What we think we believe is not always the case. True beliefs are buried deep within our subconscious mind. Many of our beliefs were formed before we were old enough to separate fact from fiction, and we internalized whatever we heard and were told. Were you consistently sick as a child and considered to be too frail to have a normal life? How is your health now? Is there a correlation?

Growing up you may have repeatedly heard family members discuss how Alzheimer's, cancer, heart disease or some other debilitating condition "runs in the family." If you believe it is inevitable you will succumb too, you are setting yourself up to be a sitting duck. Changing your belief does not guarantee you will never get that particular disease or condition, but it can help prevent it from becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

How can you use your mind to protect and improve your health? Positive thinking is vital, but it won't change deeply ingrained subconscious beliefs. As Albert Einstein said, "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." If positive thinking alone could keep us well, many doctors would be out of business and hospitals would be much emptier. Both EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and PSYCH-K® (Psychological Kinesiology) work at the subconscious level of the mind and are powerful tools, both for managing stress and changing subconscious beliefs. Rob Williams, originator of PSYCH-K®, explains that this technique "is a simple and direct way to change self-limiting beliefs at the subconscious level of the mind, where nearly all human behavior originates, both constructive and destructive." While appearing deceptively simple, PSYCH-K® is not something to attempt yourself unless you have been properly trained to use it. Find a professional practitioner who can work with you to identify and change negative beliefs that might be sabotaging your health. On the other hand, EFT can easily be learned and practiced any time. Do yourself a favor and learn more about how these modalities might help you prevent illness and maintain good health, especially as you grow older.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Is-Your-Mind-Compromising-Your-Health?&id=9542668

3 Common Causes of Insecurity and How to Beat Them

15 tools to help you bounce back when you're feeling down about yourself.

Do you find yourself feeling filled with self-doubt and short on confidence? Despite your accomplishments, do you feel like a fraud destined to be exposed? Do you feel that you don’t deserve lasting love and that partners will inevitably leave you? Do you stay at home, afraid to venture out and meet new people because you don’t feel you have enough to offer? Do you feel overweight, boring, stupid, guilty, or ugly?

Most of us feel insecure sometimes, but some of us feel insecure most of the time. The kind of childhood you had, past traumas, recent experiences of failure or rejection, loneliness, social anxiety, negative beliefs about yourself, perfectionism, or having a critical parent or partner can all contribute to insecurity. Following are the 3 most common forms—and how to begin to cope with them.

Type 1: Insecurity Based on Recent Failure or Rejection

Recent events in our lives can greatly affect both our mood and the way we feel about ourselves. Research on happiness suggests that up to 40% of our “happiness quotient” is based on recent life events. The biggest negative contributor to happiness is the ending of a relationship, followed by the death of a spouse, job loss, and negative health events. Since unhappiness also influences your self-esteem, failure and rejection can deliver a double whammy to your confidence. In his book Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure and Other Everyday Hurts, Psychology Today blogger Guy Winch states that rejection inevitably leads us to see both ourselves and other people more negatively, at least for a time. And those of us who have lower self-esteem to begin with are more reactive to failure. It’s as if an experience like losing your job grabs old negative beliefs about your self-worth and activates them. It may help to understand that failure is a nearly ubiquitous experience: Before becoming president, Abraham Lincoln lost his job, was defeated for nomination to Congress, and failed at least twice in Senate bids. Persevering despite setbacks can lead to eventual successes—which raise your self-esteem.

Below are some tools you can use to overcome failure- or rejection-based insecurity:

1. Give yourself time to heal and adapt to the new normal.
2. Get out and engage with life, following your interests and curiosity.
3. Reach out to friends and family for distraction and comfort.
4. Get feedback from people you trust.
5. Persevere and keep moving towards your goals.
6. Be willing to try a different strategy if necessary.

Type 2: Lack of Confidence Because of Social Anxiety

Many of us experience a lack of confidence in social situations like parties, family gatherings, interviews, and dates. The fear of being evaluated by others—and found to be lacking—can lead you to feel anxious and self-conscious. As a result, you may avoid social situations, experience anxiety when you anticipate social events, or feel self-conscious and uncomfortable during them. Past experience can feed your sense of not belonging, not feeling important or interesting, or just not being good enough. Many of my clients describe how being bullied or excluded from a group of friends in middle school or high school continues to negatively affect their confidence as adults. If you grew up with critical parents, or parents who pressured you to be popular and successful, you may also be over-sensitized to how others perceive you. This type of insecurity is generally based on distorted beliefs about your self-worth—and about the extent to which other people are evaluating you. Most of the time, people are more focused on how they are coming across than on judging others. Those who do judge and exclude are often covering up insecurities of their own and so their opinions may be less than accurate; they may value superficial attributes instead of character and integrity.

Below are some tools to combat insecurity in social situations:

1. Talk back to your inner critic. Remind yourself of all the reasons that you can be interesting and fun or would be a good friend or partner.
2. Prepare in advance. Think of some things you can talk about—current events, movies you’ve seen, hobbies, your job, or your family.
3. Avoiding social situation just makes things worse. So go to a party or on a date even if you're nervous. Your anxiety should decrease once you get engaged with others—if not the first or second time, then once you get used to showing up.
4. Set yourself a limited, realistic goal like talking to two new people or finding out more about one person’s work and hobbies.  
5. Deliberately focus on others to combat intense self-focus. Put on your observer hat and notice what other people seem to be feeling and doing. Do you notice any similarities or skills you can learn from them?

Type 3: Insecurity Driven by Perfectionism

Some of us have very high standards for everything we do. You may want the highest grades, the best job, the perfect figure, the most beautifully decorated apartment or house, neat and polite kids, or the ideal partner. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always turn out exactly the way we want, even if we work extra hard. There is a piece of the outcome that is at least to some degree out of our control. Bosses may be critical, jobs may be scarce, partners may resist commitment, or you may have genes that make it difficult to be skinny. If you are constantly disappointed and blaming yourself for being anything less than perfect, you will start to feel insecure and unworthy. While trying your best and working hard can give you an advantage, other aspects of perfectionism that are unhealthy. Beating up on yourself and constantly worrying about not being good enough can lead to depression and anxiety, eating disorders, or chronic fatigue.

Below are some ways to combat perfectionism:

1. Try to evaluate yourself based on how much effort you put in, which is controllable, rather than on the outcome, which is dependent on external factors.  
2. Think about how much difference it would actually make if your work were 10 percent better. Would the time and energy spent in checking and re-checking or answering every email really be worth it?
3. Perfectionism is often based on all- or nothing thinking, so try to find the grey areas. Is there a more compassionate or understanding way to view a situation? Are you taking your circumstances into account when you evaluate yourself? Is there something you learned or achieved even if the end result wasn’t perfect?
4. Perfectionists often have conditional self-esteem: They like themselves when they are on top and dislike themselves when things don't go their way. Can you learn to like yourself even when you are not doing well? Focus on inner qualities like your character, sincerity, or good values, rather than just on what grades you get, how much you get paid, or how many people like you. 
    www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201512/3-common-causes-insecurity-and-how-beat-them