ABCs of Stress Management

The ABCs of Stress Management Is Awareness, Balance and Control.

Stress is created when external or internal demands made on an individual are in excess of his coping strategies and capabilities. Let us illustrate how physical stress is formed. If you are asked to pick up a glass of water and place it on the table it is not stressful. If you are asked to pick up the glass of water and fill it to the brim without dropping any water outside, it is mildly stressful. If you are asked to hold that full glass of water for two hours without dropping any water, you will get totally stressed out.

Awareness

How stressed are you? Do you feel that you have absolutely no worries and stress in the world? Then you are lucky indeed to be part of the minority of the population today. For most of us stress plays an important part of our daily lives. It disrupts our energy levels, affects our performance and can be a huge drain on our resources. Becoming aware that one is experiencing stress is also difficult as people have got used to being under fire from all sides. It is not a natural state and will affect the health of a person in the longterm.

Balance

Once you are aware of the fact that you get stressed in certain situations, what do you do next? It is now time to manage stress levels better. Keep yourself primed for action without the accompanying tension. This can be accomplished by ensuring that you balance out the stress you are feeling in a certain situation in an optimum manner. You can avoid or modify certain stressors right away on your own. Other stressors may need some contribution from outside influences. The idea is to get hold of the problematic stressors and neutralize them.

Control

Here the idea is not to control the stress. Instead it is to control your own reaction to them. By directing one's own actions and thoughts it is possible to stay in a positive frame of mind. This defeats the stress and allows you a measure of self responsibility and control. A good night's rest is often one of the best ways to control stress. It is easier to deal with issues when you are well fed, well rested and healthy. So make sure that you actively look after your physical body and stress will begin to disappear.

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Be Wary of Labels, Especially When Self-Diagnosing Health Issues!

I bet that if any of us opened up a thesaurus of health symptoms and conditions we'd be filled with serious concerns about our health after only a couple of pages. Health-related symptoms are one of the highest searched criteria on the web.

However, there are times when many of us feel jaded or despondent, our quality of sleep is not great, we're experiencing miscellaneous aches and pains. Sometimes being given a label only adds to the worry of it all by fuelling stress and health anxiety. It's important to be wary of labels, especially when self-diagnosing health issues!

As a long-established counsellor and hypnotherapist it's not uncommon for me to be asked for a diagnosis by my clients. 'Does this mean I'm stressed, depressed, suffering from anxiety?' they may ask. But, just as when you buy something from a shop which has a sticky label firmly attached, I often find that by giving someone a specific label to explain their feelings it can mean they need extra therapy sessions to then detach that label!

Yes, sometimes clients are relieved when they can put a name to how they're feeling, but oftentimes there are effective ways of dealing with issues without having to label and categorise them. It's okay to accept that there are times when we're weary, sad, stressed or overwhelmed. Things in life may gradually accumulate and result in us feeling battered and bruised. Not everything's a serious health issue though, and sometimes those times provide a nudge to sort out how we're running our life.

Learning effective ways to deal with challenges can teach us better ways to cope, to recover from the knocks life intermittently throws our way and then to turn each bad situation around.

- Accept that sometimes feeling tired, out of sorts, vaguely unwell is how it is. We may have a phase of not sleeping too well, of being a little weepy, of feeling grumpy or a bit down. Be gentle with yourself at those times. Occasionally our hormones, body clock, even a change in the weather or the cycle of the moon can throw us out of balance. Treat yourself with kindness; go to bed a little earlier, ensure you eat well, keep hydrated, take some gentle exercise, maybe get away for an hour or even a day or two.

- We teach people how to treat us. I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said this, but certainly a high percentage of communication is done non-verbally. We communicate our responses to situations through cues so subtle that we may be unaware of them; fear, guilt, resignation, a desire to please are all evidenced through our breathing, stance, body language, posture. Tuning in and becoming aware of what we're projecting can turn a situation around.

- Remaining silent and uncommunicative, or alternatively always saying 'yes', can be interpreted as you being okay with how things are being handled. Take responsibility for how you come across and start to teach people to treat you well.

- Be careful not to compare yourself and how you're doing or coping with others. We all have different stories, priorities, situations we're dealing with, support networks, abilities and motivations. One person's nightmare situation may be another's piece of cake, and vice versa. Comparisons can result in massive insecurities.

- When we're exhausted and feeling low it may be because we're sorry for ourselves, feeling hard done by, unappreciated or taken for granted. Becoming appropriately assertive can be the way forward. All too often frustrations build up and then we explode over the smallest of things, crying, 'how dare you, it's not fair, after all I've done for you!' Or conversely we retreat into sadness, introspection and melancholia. Often a better outcome is achieved through love, affection and by staying calm and even-tempered. Learning to say, 'no', firmly and appropriately, perhaps without explanation or justification, can teach both yourself and others to appreciate and value you more.

- Being short of time is something many of us struggle with, but spreading ourselves too thinly can lead to burnout and overload. Clues that all is not well can be frequently going to bed later, getting up earlier, missing meals, cancelling breaks, exercise and fun. Again self-help comes from taking personal responsibility and communicating to others how you're feeling and what you need. Is there only you who's competent to do those tasks? Maybe it's time to train someone else, learn to delegate or be more realistic about your work v health choices.

- Deal with stress. Ensure that you have a set time when you switch off, unless there's an occasional, genuine emergency. Are there specific times when you frequently feel frazzled? We all have our early warning signals of stress. Become acquainted with yours and identify when you need a 'water-cooler' break, a piece of fruit, time for a game of golf or a long leisurely lunch. Research has found that we perform better, often bringing new ideas and thinking into a problem, once we've had some time away to detach a little.

If you find you're becoming increasingly stressed, snappy, not sleeping or are experiencing low mood booking a health check-up is advisable. However, many of us can learn to intervene early on and start to introduce positive, ongoing self-care. Appreciate you can only do so much each day before mistakes, accidents and poor concentration start to affect your health. By introducing good habits you achieve a healthier balance in your life, becoming equipped to deal with those unavoidable times when sacrifices have to be made, you need to work longer hours or juggle unanticipated demands.

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10 Ways to Be the Best Version of Yourself

How important are you? Do you feature on your own list of priorities? If you're a parent you no doubt regard your children as your number one priority. If you work as a manager or business owner with staff or targets to consider you'll justifiably treat work as vital. It's important to look after your staff and customers, earn a living and be in a stimulating environment that sustains you.

Family and friends are important too. They're often the reason we work so hard; to provide them with a comfortable home and lifestyle, good schooling and fun times together.

The big question is, where do you fit into all of this? If you went to a restaurant or consulted a specialist and saw that they were stressed, irritable and overworked you'd probably wonder why they'd agreed to take your booking. The same applies if you're being pulled in all directions and not feeling able to cope. Irritability, frustration and resentment can start to surface. No one benefits.

Achieving some balance in life, where you recognise your limits and boundaries, allows you to be the best version of yourself. Then everyone, including you, has a better experience and quality of life.

Here are 10 ways to be the best version of yourself:

- Practise positive self talk. Start to notice those automatic 'I'm so stupid' responses that can so easily surface when you're stressed. Yes, something you did may have been a mistake, but that doesn't mean you're stupid. We often talk to ourselves more harshly than we ever would to anyone else. Learn to be kinder to yourself and recognise your early warning signs of stress.

- Schedule time for things you know you do well. It's especially important in the midst of tough or difficult times to remind yourself of your skills, talents and abilities. Allow time for the things you enjoy and are good at. Sport, DIY, playing an instrument, volunteering can be ways to bring a positive mindset into your life.

- 'Broadcast' what you've done. Household chores, chauffeuring duties, the errands that go unnoticed are often taken for granted. There's no need to be heavy-handed, but occasionally remind others that you've stocked the cupboards with food, the clean laundry and towels don't get replenished by magic. Solicit appreciation for those efforts that support the smooth running of their lives.

- Smile and accept compliments and praise. Don't shrug them off in an 'it's nothing' way. Acknowledge, say 'thank you' and let them know that good manners and appreciation are important to you.

- Pace yourself. Being the best version of yourself means being able to manage stress. Learn to recognise what you can and can't do each day. There's no merit in being invincible or feeling that you've failed if you don't manage to do everything. It's okay to tackle big jobs in stages.

- Let others help. If you're working long hours or have many demands on your time why not engage help with cleaning, gardening, ironing or with business tasks like PR, accounts and social media. The time freed up can be used elsewhere and is often money well spent. Delegate tasks to staff and encourage them to blossom and become more enthusiastic about their work. Let your children help. Even if their efforts are clumsy it's good to encourage them to become more independent.

- 'No' can be the most positive word in your vocabulary when used well. 'Yes' can become a negative habit if you automatically take on too much by way of work, social engagements or family responsibilities. We may be eager to please others, appear efficient and successful. But saying 'no' in an appropriate way allows you to use your time well, focus on your priorities and become the best version of yourself.

- Nurture your relationships. Our partners, families, colleagues, friends cannot be expected to be psychic but will often be understanding and supportive if told what's going on and asked for help. Let them in and they may even come up with great ideas and suggestions.

- Have regular breaks. It may seem counter-intuitive to stop work for a time, but regular breaks allow you to better manage stress and return to work with a fresh perspective and new insights. Being the best version of yourself means looking after yourself and pausing from time to time. Have a healthy snack, plenty of water and switch off for an hour or so before bed.

- Accept invitations and offers that take you out of your comfort zone. Scare yourself a little every day, even if it's simply by choosing a different lunch, speaking to someone new, accepting a challenge. Allow your confidence and self belief to grow by expanding your horizons. Keep a journal and log those mini-successes to sustain you during difficult times.

Becoming the best version of yourself means shaking off old, unhelpful patterns that may have once worked well for you. And interestingly, once we become receptive to positive changes other factors often work to motivate and sustain us.

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Off Kilter? This Helps You Find Balance No Matter How Life Tilts

Change is constant, and yet, it can feel overwhelming at times. We are each unique in how we approach changes, how we experience transitions, and how we maintain balance.

And it's not just external changes. Our energy influences our balance, too. So, here are 5 tips to enhance your understanding of balance and help you find it.

1. Balance comes from drawing on your full range of energies, not a 50/50 split of work/home activities.

Balance is less about how much time you schedule for each sector of your life than it is about how you approach activities energetically. For example, if you follow up an ambitious, sales-oriented day at work with a game of handball, then engage in home remodeling until bedtime, you are not allowing yourself to relax, reflect and simply be.

Likewise, if you end a day of care-giving by tending to family and grooming your dog, you have no opportunity to challenge yourself in self-directed physical or creative endeavors. Your drive, your receptivity, your originality, and your caring are all distinct energies that complement one another. Their variety adds depth to your life.

2. Balance is about how you use your energy.

Balance entails living in dynamic equilibrium. Learn to recognize the feminine energy and masculine energy that feed your vitality. Observe when you create and dream, and when you take action. Alternating freely between these 2 energies helps you balance and integrate what is essential in your life.

3. Balance is about taking care of yourself.

To balance your life, learn to quiet yourself and identify messages you may be working from. Balance comes from discerning each fear you hold and how it drives your choices from moment to moment. As you become aware of your rhythm, you can pace yourself more successfully. You will sense when outlays of effort need to be followed by something restorative. To live in dynamic equilibrium, learn to accept that you can only be in one energetic place at a time.

4. Balance is activated by aware actions.

Observing yourself and embracing lessons from your intuition (or inner guide) are fundamental balance skills. Attune yourself to the signals your body provides to assess the situation, your environment and your choices. Act from an enlightened, inspired, balanced position.

5. Balance is learning to create harmony with yourself.

Using your time and energy harmoniously will smooth out the wrinkles in your day. You will feel more content and grounded by creating a balanced base for your daily activities. Assess your time choices and motivation by asking questions about how you are using your time in the moment.

• What do you need more or less of to create a balanced base?
• How are you off-center?
• What happens?
• How can you regain your balance in the moment?

And to move toward your Heart-Based Time Success, sign up for our free gift, The Finding Time Success Kit, which includes "The New Finding Time Boundary Template: 9 Simple, Sequential Steps to Find More Time and Recharge Your Energy!" Using a workbook format this powerful and practical time template helps you progress beyond disappointment and frustration. Discover that 24 hours really are enough!


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How To Have Inner Peace And Where To Find Happiness, Balance And Harmony In Life

If you're looking for where to find happiness and not succeeding, perhaps you're looking in the wrong places.

We can begin the quest for where to find happiness by separating our memories into a few different chests for different reasons, if you will.

The 'Treasure Chest' of the mind is where we put our most valued memories.

When searching for a happy life; contentment, balance and comfort and harmony in life, we open this chest.

The 'Hope Chest' of our mind is for our goals and objectives and for imagining how tomorrow will turn out to be a tremendous success.

As each is fulfilled it is then moved to our Treasure Chest.

The 'Dumpster Chest' of the mind is for letting go of the things we no longer what to hold onto.

When in this chest they are discarded, to be forever released and surrendered.

When these memories are put in the Dumpster Chest you need to never go digging them out.

The Course in Miracles states, "There is no need to learn through pain."

Your ideas are a reflection of who and what you are, and also help you get the life you want and how to have inner peace.

Delighted people have delighted ideas.

That doesn't mean that the pleased person never has a wrong-minded ego-based thought, it means the happy person knows the best ways to move these bad attitudes and the like into the Dumpster Chest and then forget them.

If someone mentions something poorly about you and is not pleasant, or somebody acts and is very distasteful, don't take it to heart, it is not a reflection of you, but a reflection of them.

It's merely what remains in their Treasure Chest or Hope Chest that should have been put in their Dumpster Chest?

If you want to enjoy, take the time to listen and sit, and then believe about your ideas and destiny.

Put the good ones in your Treasure Chest or Hope Chest and the bad ones in your Dumpster Chest.

Focus just on your Treasure Chest and Hope Chest for they are now full of the jewels of hope and joy, and it's where to find happiness.

The Course in Miracles also states, "What gives you happiness you want to learn and not forget."

Simply keep in mind without judgement or condemnation that happy and peaceful individuals spend their effort adding to their Treasure and Hope chests, while dissatisfied individuals spend their time arranging through the dumpster.

Leave the garbage behind and become a treasure hunter if you are serious about where to find happiness and joy.

To a happy life!

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How Positive Visualization May Bring You Wonderful Fascinations

The power of visualization certainly may bring you much closer to what you want to accomplish in this world. Regardless of how hard we work toward our goals, there is a right-minded and exciting practice we focus our minds to while relaxing at home, and without breaking a sweat.

It's the idea of the power of visualization where you instruct your mind like you do dream figures while sleeping. While in this world are we not simply dreaming of life while in life's waiting room, so to speak.

I read an ancient story where the author describes his teacher carefully instructing and reminding him about the fine art of dreaming: "Every time you look at anything in your dreams it changes shapes."

There seems to be a tendency to either merge with the dream figures, which constantly keeps pulling one back into the dream plot, or to move toward wakefulness. There have always been those who are able to maintain a fine balance between wakefulness and sleep.

If this is the case, however, are you able to distinguish between yourself and dream images?

When we dream, think about where our minds must be.

During these moments that a dream takes place, don't we see a world that seems real? Think about those characters and situations that are of your choosing where the idea of the power of visualization is concerned.

Doesn't the dream seem to be totally out of proportion to the world?

Our own fascinations bring us the power of visualization and what we thought was out of reach and change to satisfy the ego which represents the body.

We would not need to have dreams if we didn't see ourselves as needing the ego, and always feeling as though we are under attack by someone or something ready to deprive us.

Our dreams have no concern with what is true, and our conflicting wishes, wants, and needs bring chaos and misunderstanding to what we dream.

A Course in Miracles states, "A concept of the self is made by you."

Waking Everyday Lives

A dream is the best example of the power of visualization and how we form our perceptions-- illusion as a substitute for the truth.

When we wake from our sleep we don't take the dream seriously, because we see that we remain safe in reality. Can we bring the power of visualization to our waking everyday lives?

Dreams are a way of looking at the world and changing it to better suit our egos. We'll always have an ego while in this world, because the body is its home.

The wrong-minded more fearful and negative aspect of ego projects images out of fear, doubt, and guilt that make things seem to be going wrong in our lives.

Power of Visualization

From the ego's more optimistic right-minded thought process, it calms and silences down to open itself to reflection of true reality beyond bodily form, rather than projection of fear, and this is when life seems to be filled with success and bliss.

Dreams are excellent examples both of the ego's inability to completely tolerate true reality and our willingness to change reality on the ego's behalf. Because it is aware it can never experience it, the ego can't tolerate true reality.

Think of how you may use the power of visualization and what your world could be if you more clearly understood that the ego in you is filled with fear, because it is aware that when it fully awakens to true reality the body will be no more.

While the power of visualization may get you to your goals and align your dreams to true reality, your future may not see all of the big things you imagine.

More often than not, the practice of positive visualization leads to a healthy lifestyle.

To a life of your dreams!

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10 Ways to Get Out of a Funk (By Ashley Fullwood)

1. Clean your space.

I know, chores. You feel like your life is in the gutter and now you are being expected to muster up the energy to do housework? Well, yes. You can't find anything when you need it, you've been eating out of pots since you have no more clean dishes left, and what the hell is that smell? All of this adds unnecessary stress into your life. Your external surroundings are a direct reflection of your internal world. Cleaning is a productive way to begin to get your mind off your problems, and the result is an organized, easy to navigate space that is both welcoming and comforting. A clean house has a calming effect that you could definitely use if you are in a funk.

2. Take care of yourself.

Have you noticed how when peoples life gets out of balance, their personal hygiene and eating habits are always the first to go? Cook yourself a big, healthy meal. Take a long hot bath or shower. Wash your hair, shave, use a face mask, put some multi colored bath bomb in your tub and soak the stress away. How you treat yourself is a direct reflection of how you let others treat you. Taking care of yourself well is also a reminder that you are worth so much more than you may be admitting to yourself on a regular basis. This sort of self-assurance is necessary when letting go of life's woes.

3. Take a break.

You need to dedicate time to doing nothing. It doesn't have to be all meditation and Namastè, either. You can literally sit on your couch and do nothing at all for 10 minutes a day. No phone calls, no television, no company, nothing. Life is always bombarding us with constant distractions and endless to do lists. So it's important to balance that out with periods of absolute relaxation, even if they are in short bursts.

4. Practice gratitude.

This can happen while you are taking a break or not. It's a matter of shifting your mindset. What is going good in your life? What is exceptional? What is simply happening exactly as it should? Train your mind to look at things differently as they are happening. Life is full of surprises, so count your blessings and make a list of the beautiful things in your life. I'm sure there is at least one. It could even be "I woke up this morning and I'm happy to be alive."

5. Exercise.

Let the adrenaline and the endorphins make you feel like you are on top of the world. Your body and your mind will benefit.

6. Find a new hobby or something you enjoy.

Sometimes you just gotta switch things up. Find something fun in your area to do where you can meet new people. Meetup.com is a good place to find a lot of fun, free (or very cheap) social activities. Trying new things can open your world up more than you might realize.

7. Create a short term goals list.

Short term goals turn into long term success. Always remember this. It takes your mind off of your problems and puts your focus onto moving forward. I like to plan month by month. I only plan to complete what I know I can complete in 4 weeks. Next month, I'll have a whole new list of tasks to complete. Before you know it you are making constant progress. I find monthly better than daily or weekly because planning over the span of a few weeks at a time allows you to plan for some down time, leading me to my next point.

8. You NEED to PLAN fun time.

This is different than taking a break. You can do anything you want during this time, as long as you find it fun. During my downtime, I like to watch television. I actually grew up in a household where we didn't watch television so it's not something I've ever been used to doing. As a result, as a child, I had to come up with creative ways to keep myself busy, and as an adult this translated into always working on something, always being busy. Now, I allow myself up to 3 hours of television time a month. With each episode at approximately 30 mins, that's about 1-2 episodes of television a week. I am currently following Game of Thrones and watching a show called The Borgias. After a long day/week, it's nice to have a little treat to look forward too. I even have a TV buddy who I love watching GOT with.

9. Write a letter to yourself to pull out and read whenever you are feeling overwhelmed.

Make sure in that letter you tell yourself everything you would need to hear if you were reaching out to a close friend. For example, mine says "It's okay to cry. It's okay to need time to process your emotions. It's okay to set your pace and stick with it. You are a good person with a kind soul." Update this letter as much as you want. Include and remove things, just make it perfect for you.

10. Do something nice for someone other than yourself.

Go volunteer for a weekend at an animal shelter, help feed the homeless, take your dog to his/her favorite park and watch how excited they get. Other peoples happiness rubs off on you. When you are miserable, you attract misery. You have to put forth positivity to attract it and this starts by doing what you can to make interactions as positive as possible. Both positivity and negativity are contagious. Choose.

Always remember, you are the earthly embodiment of strength, love, and joy.

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Do You Have the Necessary Discipline?

I believe 100% in the importance of "mindset" in successfully accomplishing goals. If you believe in your heart of hearts that you either don't deserve success or lack confidence, you simply will not. All of your efforts will be in vain because you are programmed to fail.

How can you tell if your mindset is productive or not? Listen... REALLY LISTEN... to your internal conversation. If you blame others, create excuses or talk about yourself, TO YOURSELF, in a negative way, success will be elusive. In this High Performance Mindset video on YouTube, Michael Gervais, the performance psychologist for the Seattle Seahawks, discusses the importance of this concept. Coach Pete Carroll chimes in as well.

My objective here is to discuss what you need to do once your belief in yourself is unshakable. My friend John Assaraf calls it the Law of GOYA (Get Off Your Ass). I just call it "discipline." My definition of that word: "Doing WHAT needs to be done... WHEN it needs to be done... THE WAY it needs to be done... EVERY TIME!

Start here: Decide what you want to do, what you want to have, and who you want to be and find someone who already has those things. Go to great lengths to meet that person. Copy what they do. Sounds simple; it is! Simple... but not easy! Without discipline... as the saying goes... the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Here's an example from the best at what he does:

Tom Brady is arguably the best quarterback in the history of the National Football League. Success, as they say, speaks for itself. What you see on the football field, however, is the result of what he does OFF of the field.

• Every morning Tom speaks to his neuropsychologist. He believes that his mind, his body, and his spirit have to be aligned in order to be his best.

• Tom's business partner, and Godfather to one of his children, is Alex Guerrero. Although officially he is Tom's "body coach," he is arguably the most important person in his life, save his supermodel wife, Gisele Bundchen, and his head coach, Bill Belichik. His teammates refer to Guerrero as Mr. Miyagi (the character in The Karate Kid). He is largely responsible for Brady playing at an MVP level in his late 30s and for Brady's aspiration to play until his late 40s or even 50.

• Brady's schedule is planned three years in advance. Every day of it is micro-managed. Treatment, food, workouts, rest, recreation. Per Guerrero: "The whole idea is to program his body to do what we want it to do. We don't let the body dictate. WE dictate."

• Here's a typical Brady vacation day in the off-season: Wake up; work out; have breakfast with Gisele and his children; hang at the beach; nap on schedule; surf; work out again.

He goes to bed early; eats well (more shortly) and avoids alcohol.

• Rather than lifting (metal) weights, Brady uses bands. If you think that one can't get a grueling weight workout with bands, I use them as well. In my arsenal, my exercise bands give me up to 330 pounds of resistance. Guerrero wanted Brady to have more muscle pliability. He noticed that Brady's muscles had become short and brittle using typical weight training.

• Brady's diet is geared, among other things, to give him a balance of acid and alkaline. He consumes food accordingly: 80% alkaline and 20% acidic. Trust me; that isn't easy. His diet is seasonal. In the summer, when it's time for "hot property" foods, he'll consume (for example) red meat. In the winter, he consumes mostly "cold property foods." His diet then is mostly raw. The goal is to maintain balance and harmony through his metabolic system.

• Brady struggles with sleep patterns, so to unwind after games and practices, he does cognitive exercises to destimulate his brain. That allows him to get to sleep by 9 p.m. and wake up without an alarm.

• Brady completes a brain resilience program. After a thorough analysis, he had a program created to workout his brain the way he works out his body. It enables him to process information more quickly than would otherwise be the case. That, in turn, enables him to read defenses between plays and make adjustments on the fly. He believes that his edge is in his mental resiliency and quick processing capability.

I could continue with the long list of things he does to be his best. The point is this: If YOU want to be YOUR best, you have to do the work. Doing the work means both doing the right things, and doing those things right. Otherwise, what's the point?!

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Running Out Of Time?

I'm not referring to your "TO DO" list for today or this week or taking the latest and greatest time-management seminar to get tips on how to manage time (managing time - a myth by the way - but I'll save that and your time for a future article).

Regarding the title - not teasing you with morbidity - just realistic, practical and/or as genuine as possible.

Last year I lost 4 close friends between the ages of 50 and 90 and none of them saw it coming. How about you - could you be next? Again - not being negative or morose - just asking you to consider a simple question - if today was your last day - would/could you leave here; contented, without regret, peaceful, satisfied and with a positive legacy or the opposite of many of these?

While you are reading this, and I don't really care whether you are 25, 50 or 100+ cause the question is the same for all of you - let me repeat - if today was your last one - how would you leave here and what would you leave behind? 

"Tim, it sure sounds morose." - sorry - we are all going to die and none of us has the privilege of knowing when, where or how. So, let's talk a little about how you are living so when it's your turn, you'll be ready if you aren't today.

There are a few life fundamentals that everyone wants in life - happiness, security, health and love (given and received). Yes, there are may others for some people - wealth, fame, power, control, reputation, lots of friends, nice cars and homes, beautiful and handsome spouses and perfect kids etc. Problem is if you haven't figured it out yet - you'll never have everything or all of the ones you think you need - to have a contented, happy, peaceful life. Bet I lost a few of you with this remark!

Don't believe me - tell me one person you know that has it all (and with these people you think that do - do you know what goes on behind closed doors in their lives - do you know what they worry about - do you know their stressors?).

Or, maybe you think you have it all. Well if this is true 1) trust me - either have really low standards, needs, expectations in every or many areas of your life 2) you are perfect or just maybe - 3) you have figured out what it takes (FYI - this one puts you in the minority) to live a contented life and no matter when your time will be up - you will be OK with it.

Some of you might be interpreting this article from a spiritual perspective and that is perfectly legitimate but that is not my primary focus although it is a critical piece of living and leaving with an "I'm OK and ready to go" mindset. But, I'll save that one for another time. For now, I want to focus on what I refer to as "Life's Ten 

Essentials" for a contented life and a positive legacy.

Before I give them to you if you don't know what they are, let me repeat - the spiritual piece of life is vital and even if you have all of the following without it you may find it difficult to live and leave peacefully but it isn't my intent to preach in this article but 

FYI - I do in many others.

OK, here are what I believe are the ten essentials for a contented life (and yes, there could be many others (these are just mine). It's not my intention to tell you how to live, (I don't have - nor does anyone else have that right) for me - I am far from perfect or ideal. Having said all this, if you think any or all of them are on target and you are willing to take a few minutes to clarify them from your perspective - why not jot down a few notes or write a sentence or two about what these mean to you and generally how you think you are doing. At the least a few additional trigger words that come to mind when you consider each of them.

Back to the title - regardless of how much time you may or may not have how do you want your legacy to read?

They are in no special order;

Appreciation or I Deserve This -

Gratitude or You Owe Me -

Other or Self Focused -

Integrity or Whatever It Takes -

Giving or Greed -

Humility or Prideful -

Forgiveness or Blame & Anger -

Letting Go or Staying stuck -

Balance or Single focused life -

Faith or It's All My Doing -

Learn anything?

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Tools For An Empath's Energy Protection

Common traits of an Empath and why they need protection:

Empaths are drawn to healing themselves and others. They are usually drawn to healing, because they feel that they have so much internal healing to do... until, that is, they realize that most of the healing needed is for others that they are intuitively 'feeling'.

They are usually in a state of constant fatigue. This is a huge issue. People, along with their energies are constantly invading an Empath's energy. An Empath will usually take on too much and become drained very quickly, and it's not easily cured by sleep or rest. It goes much deeper than that and is quite exhausting.

Empaths are excellent listeners. They genuinely care about the well-being of others and find themselves listening to the woes of people they don't even know. Most people find Empaths so easy to open up to. That's when they start dumping all kinds of negativity going in their life. Sometimes, people aren't even aware they are doing this.

In most cases, an Empath will take care of the needs of others even before their own, because they care so much. Since people get comfortable enough around them to open up, they will usually selflessly lend their ear to help a person; even if it's to their own detriment.

Alone time is a necessity for an Empaths. Many Empaths like to get away from all of the emotions and energy that is not theirs so they require much needed time alone. This is time for them to get back to balance, and distance themselves from all negativity that is not theirs.

An Empath can also appear as moody. Empaths sometimes seem to have major mood swings, and this sometimes is contributed to all of the overwhelming thoughts and feelings bombarding them on a daily basis. Not only are they bombarded with these energies, but now they need to clearly sort through and figure out all that stuff coming their way.

They are emotionally sensitive to violence, cruelty, or any sort of tragedy. Most Empaths quit watching the television and reading the newspapers at some point in their lives, as this too, can be very overwhelming for an empath.

Just plain knowing is also a common Empath trait. Empaths sometimes know things that they are positive they were never taught or told. This knowing is very different than intuition or a gut feeling.

Being in public places is often overwhelming or painful to an empath. Again so many people's emotions are in public places that can be picked up when not even trying to. This is a roller coaster most Empaths will avoid at all costs.

An Empath can 'feel' honesty and integrity. They can tell if someone is being honest or not, which is very unsettling and sometimes painful in your life. It's especially unsettling when they are dealing with loved ones.

Feeling the physical symptoms and pains of another. Many Empaths will find themselves developing an ailment that someone else has that has nothing to do with them. This is empathy at its finest.

These are just a few of the traits of an Empath. Again, being an Empath can be either considered a curse or a gift depending on the tools you use to protect yourself. There are many ways for Empaths to Protect themselves. Avoiding large social gatherings or public places at all costs is one way. But there are times when you just cannot avoid these things. There are quite a few helpful ways to protect yourself as an empath. Here's what I like to keep in what I call 'My Bag of Tricks': I use Crystals, Meditation, and The White Light of Protection.

CRYSTALS

Rose Quartz is a fantastic crystal for an Empath because its healing properties promote unconditional love and comfort. This is especially good for a person that may be holding less than loving energies of something, someone, or even themselves.

Black Tourmaline or Hematite are also great crystals for an Empath to help them stay grounded. These stones will also help to absorb any negative energies.

Malachite is another crystal that will help absorb any negative feelings you may be having; whether they are your own or not!

Labradorite is a crystal that will actually help protect your aura from absorbing any issues that are being shared with you.

Citrine is a yellow crystal to help brighten your mood. Another Citrine healing property is that it can also help absorb bad energy from your environment.

Another go to crystal for me is Amethyst. Not only is it beautiful, but it will strengthen your intuition. Heightened intuition is wonderful for everyone, but especially for Empaths to help them truly know that the feelings they may be having are theirs or not.

Last but not least is Rainbow Fluorite. Rainbow Fluorite may very well be, in my opinion, the Mother of all crystals for an Empath as it helps all levels of being! This is a multi-colored crystal that can help you stay grounded to the earth, help clear and balance all Chakras, as well as to help you stay attuned to higher dimensions.

These are my personal go to crystals to help me stay centered, grounded, protected, and tuned in. Crystals can and will help heal your life!

Meditation

Meditation has been used for thousands of years as a way to attain a level of awareness that is beyond the limitations of the every day thinking mind. Quite simply, it's the practice of bringing together, the mind, body, and spirit!

Most don't realize that our bodies were meant to be self-correcting to maintain positive health by simply keeping mind, body and spirit in balance. Imagine how easy it is to be out of balance when the energy of others infiltrates your body on a daily basis. It's epic!

When your out of balance, your life-force energy doesn't flow quite the way it should. Being out of balance shows up in life as aches and pains. And when your out of balance for long enough, your body begins to create illness and disease.

Alone time and meditation is a wonderful way for an empath to keep themselves balanced, healthy and whole. This is the practice of loving yourself that most Empaths put at the back of the line, if they even put it in the line of importance at all!

White Light of Protection

When I just cannot avoid doing things that don't peak my 'wow meter', such as going into large crowds, I usually try to protect myself and my energy with 'White Light'. Many people do it differently and there's really no right or wrong way to do it, because truly it's all about the power of intention.

Take a few minutes to yourself and sit in a quiet place before you do anything. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. On each in-breath, visualize the white light of protection coming into your body through your crown and filling your entire being. Continue breathing in the white light and when your entire body is filled with light, imagine that light now shining brightly and growing so big that it now shines outside of you, surrounding your entire body. Sit breathing deeply for a few moments and feel light that surrounds you. Now smile and have a bit of gratitude, because you've just practiced self-love by putting yourself first. And you've just completed protecting yourself from all unwanted and negative energies around you!

These are just a few of the ways that you can protect yourself if you have a sensitivity to other energies. I hope this helped! And once again, please share any tips and tricks that you may have that I haven't mentioned. Let's all help one another be healthy and whole!!

Namaste'

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The Gift of Presence - Be Apprised That You Are Advised to Enjoy Each Day As If It Were the Last

Time is not guaranteed! The only thing on earth that is guaranteed to happen is CHANGE. Whether you change your mind or have a change of heart, you are always changing something. How about changing your perspective, atfocused,  least a little, from time-to-time, it helps keep your mind sharp and your heart rhythm in sync with what you want to create and with your contribution to humanity can also be improved.

Speaking and congregating with friends, colleagues and family members is great for the mind to unwind and a great way to keep both feet on the ground. Sharing small conversations or having meals in the company of others is a nice way to be less focused on the mundane challenges of daily living. There are a varied amount of benefits that can be attained by having more presence of mind and engaging in more social connections. By connecting to others we allow our hearts and theirs to feel more uplifted, loving and to attain more peace of mind. It's a great feeling when we pay attention to the need of our hearts, as well as to show ourselves the beautiful gift of connecting to others/ humanity.

One can deny the need for a cohesive society, though studies show that the more people engage one another the less stress they experience. This is also shown to contribute to a happier life-style that only gets easier when socialization is pursued often, thus more bonding/ ties and it has a chemical effect on the mind/body connection. We can really relax when we are in the presence of like- minded people who are kind, loving and uplifting.

Acknowledge the attention gleaned while connecting to others, feel loved in your intentional conversations that bring about feelings of peace, joy and ease. Share in the amazement of your life activities or adventures when speaking with another/others. Watch awe-invoking, boundless, beauty be disclosed when sharing or engaging another. You will quickly see that your own life path has blessed you to live and surpass so many obstacles and to achieve so many things! When you engage others, you actually have a chance to replay fond events or memories, to live countless hours of entertaining conversation, comedy, or to experience belly-aching laughter... Come on, call a buddy, invite them over to hang-out, make plans to have friends or family to come visit you over the weekend! I dare you to have presence of mind, and to devise a plan to have more social engagements and fun!

Experience your life; eliminate strife- it aids nobody and is a waste of valuable time; stay focused on what's happening today! Invest in the PRESENT, for it is a gift that brings you information and experience to succeed or cultivate new missions and dreams. Invite unplanned accomplishments, rejoice in new discovery, adventures yet to be engaged, planned or imagined..

Time is not guaranteed, I write to you from experience. I had many plans to spend vacations and social time with friends and relatives that died within weeks of planning our trips and outing's. I have learned, by experience, live everyday as if it were the last. Tomorrow is guaranteed to nobody. Live life with zest, flair and show the world your way of sharing and caring, especially with anyone who's daring to share time and space with you. Since you enjoy reading, and I enjoy writing, thanks for sharing your time with me, by reading the thoughts, that I am sharing!

Have presence of mind, appreciate everyone, every place and every experience. Give life-affirming joy, love and abilities back to yourself. You were wonderfully and purposefully engineered, designed and crafted to be the unique one-of-a-kind person that you are. You were created to be readily fulfilled with copious joy, love and laughter! God above intended for you to have connections to others. He wants you to experience amazing love, special skills and talents while living; to strike a balance between work/fun; and to prepare you to live your living dreams in abundance. Be keenly aware that it is your responsibility to enjoy what life has to offer.

Be ready to invite great adventures, especially when you have presence of mind. Focus on what unfolds by the minute. Otherwise, your gifts will lie dormant. Recognize that if you ignore the precious beat of your own heart you will miss the beat or nucleus, the central control station, towards manifesting a happy life. The heart of mankind is leading, and guiding, the whole day, well into sleeping and dreaming. Most visions and dreams are first planted and take root in our daydreams, random thoughts and nightly dreams. Make your daydreams your reality! Watch your visions and dreams unfold as they manifest into fantastic artistic, dynamic mathematical, analytical, or creative skills, or abilities.

Think consciously; stay in harmony with the enlightening messages that your emotive-heart desires to teach you. The heart speaks to the rest of the body through our mind, judgments, decisions and trickles down to our senses and perceptions. Take the right steps to enjoy anything and everything that you experience. RIGHT NOW; BE PRESENT AND LIVE IN the current time. Live life in the current MOMENT, before the OPPORTUNITY has passed and GONE away. Abracadabra, POOF, GONE! Are you still here?

Never miss an opportunity that the Divine Creator has given you now, by putting off till tomorrow what is meant to be enjoyed, pursued, or adventured today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to anybody...

***I enjoy learning from you and from others offering me knowledge continuously!~

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Motivation - Starting Is the Hardest Part

Most people on this earth struggle with motivation, maybe even on a daily basis. Sometimes we just don't have the energy. Sometimes tasks seem overwhelming. Sometimes we tell ourselves that we can postpone doing the things we need to do- that they aren't necessary at the moment. Whatever our excuse, it feels SO MUCH BETTER to actually make progress with our goals. Even if it's just the tiniest bit of hedge-way, doing something ALWAYS feels better than doing nothing.

In my years of experience grappling with the motivation/procrastination balance, I've found a few tricks to help me do the things I need to do. Hopefully you'll find these tips as helpful in your life as they have been in mine!

1. Get organized 

Making lists of what you need to do can help you see if there's something you can take care of right away, or if you need to accomplish a few little things before you can tackle a harder task. It also makes your goals more manageable. Crossing something off of my To Do List after I've finished it feels extremely satisfying!

2. Just start something 

Honestly some days after I get home from work, I just don't feel like doing anything productive. The trick for me is to recognize the difference between being tired and being physically exhausted. If I'm exhausted, it's better for me to rest and recuperate. If I'm just tired, then doing something useful actually gives me more energy and boosts my morale. So I try to just start doing things that need done. The other day, for example, I really didn't feel like cleaning up, but my house begged to differ. So I started with something I like doing, and before I knew it I was cleaning things without even thinking about it. I emptied the dishwasher. I wiped off the counters. I organized the pantry. I took out the trash and the recycling. I was actually cleaning on autopilot, lost in my own thoughts and not even noticing how much work I was really accomplishing, when just minutes before I was considering lying down for a quick nap!

3. Acknowledge your accomplishments 

I think this is a really important step that a lot of us are guilty of skipping. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we haven't yet done that we forget to feel good about the things we have done. It's so very important to acknowledge the positive things in our lives, no matter how small they may seem. When we gain confidence from recognizing what we've already done, it can give us the energy and motivation to tackle the harder tasks in our lives.

4. It doesn't hurt to delegate 

We are so centered on ourselves sometimes that we forget that it's OK to ask for help. It's definitely OK to ask your friends and family for assistance, and as long as you aren't asking way too much, I promise you they'll be very likely to want to help out. Don't put the whole burden on yourself if you don't have to!

5. The Twenty-Minute Trick 

There are often times when the last thing in the world I want to do is the one thing I really need to get done. For me, it's usually housework, paperwork, or making important phone calls. Then a friend of mine shared a tip that they found to work wonders for their own motivation- the Twenty Minute Trick. The thing is, it's not all that hard to dedicate twenty minutes to a task. So when you find yourself unable to start on a particular task, set a timer for twenty minutes. When that time is up, feel free to stop. You've worked hard and accomplished a goal! Often times, however, I find myself 'getting into the groove,' and I don't feel like stopping when the timer goes off. This trick has gotten me through a lot of motivation-lacking days!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Motivation---Starting-Is-the-Hardest-Part&id=9759492

Most Important Requirement of Life

We get so blinded by the ongoing stress and requirements of life, that we almost forget about what is more important than money. Money and time of course are two of the important resources in life, but apart from that, there is something called "Peace of Mind" which we often lose while we are hoarding for making some good money. Balance is the most important ingredient of a happy and healthy life. And most of the time we are unable to achieve that. When you are happy, your life tends to improve on its own.

We need to keep our life sorted and managed. For achieving this, we need to first of all empty our minds. Unless we have a zero thought mind, we would not be able to see clearly what befalls in time approaching us. If we keep the bowl of our mind always full, where would never we enough space for newer things to come. And it is a well accepted fact that too many thoughts running at the same time cause stress. Change is always required to keep our life fresh and happening. We cannot run with a monotony thinking that all is going well. When you think that all is going well with disturbed sleep pattern, failing health, lowered down interests in life and entertaining activities, then it is time to accept that nothing is well indeed and it is time for a newer change.

Yes money is required to live, but then investment of your time upon that money should also be correctly and thoughtfully done. You cannot always all the time be involved with things which cause you immense burden. And what use would that money be of, if you are not spending it on improving your lifestyle? If you are in office, you will eat anywhere without considering the quality of the food being served. If you are tired, all your body joints are paining, you will take a pain-killer without realising that it is a good and relaxing spa that you need, not a pain-killer which would harm you in the times to come. Excess of any pain-killer is injurious to the liver in the long run. That is one warning written on most of the pain killers. So while you are thinking of saving on a few bucks, why now save through the best online deals and discounts?

You need peace of mind, and that can be achieved with betterment in life- something which requires a good planning. And your plan should never be just in your mind. Take out a pen and paper and jot down these few points which would help you to be happy in life and would improve your lifestyle too:

1. Do not ignore your health- Treat yourself with some healthy food and drinks, hit some good well equipped gyms, and before you go for doing any of these things, go and get a full health check-up done. This would not cost you too heavily, rather, you will get the best online deals and discounts at some e-commerce stores which would make your expenses go lesser and service quality to the max.

2. Do not let tiredness take over your productivity- Pull your package of a health filled spa and get relaxing massages in spas which would have well-trained staff to heal and regenerate every cell of your body with their knowledge of massaging. You can pull you best spa deals online.

3. Do not overburden yourself- Work is important, but in that case, you need balance between work and life. Work hard and then play hard as well. That would keep you mentally and physically fit. There are good gaming zones which would help you play your favourite virtual and real games. Don't waste your weekend over a movie, but go out and play some good games of cricket, dart, bowling and your childhood video games taken to an advance level.

4. Travel to relax- Travelling is always fun. But then, do not settle with something too ordinary when it comes to accommodation. Stay in beautiful resorts, cottages and hotels. Yes it is a disturbing thought to spend too much on a room, but then it is not going to be too much with the best online deals and discounts in your smart phones.

So the most important thing in life is to live life, have peace and balance by enjoying with the best online deals and discounts.

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Message From the Universe: Listen to Your Heart at Times

"Lots of things don't make sense at first when only the physical senses are used.

What does your heart say?

Boom, 

The Universe"

There is more to the world than what the eyes can see. It is important to think outside the box when it comes to living your life. You can't be following what the crowd does, you need to be different, unique and always look to make a difference to the world. I know it can be difficult as there is so much hate, racism, terrorism, bigotry and everything else that goes with it. So how can you be different among all of this? That can be a difficult to answer this question. Your mind will say: "If everyone is treating people like this, who am I to make that change? What can I do to stop of all of this hatred?". So if everyone thinks the same, which they do, this is one of the reason why we are not saying any changes happening in our world today. It is and will get worst and worst, day after day, week after week. How to get away from this Black hole of hatred? Start thinking with your heart and look into what you think it's right to do. By helping one person at a time, you are really helping humanity. It might not be anything drastic, but it is something.

In relationships, we always deal with the matter of the heart. Love is based on emotion towards your significant other and the feelings for that person cannot be described as you are ready to do anything and everything for that person. Sometimes, thinking with the heart ONLY can also bring you in trouble. There should always be a balance when it comes to thinking with the heart and mind. Like anything in life, using both is better than using only one. When you look at people getting married and then going through a nasty divorce shortly after, you wonder how love can become hate combined with debilitating anger towards that person that you used to love and admire. It can be tough to describe the process in which people go through these changes to eventually decipher the reasons as to why someone's heart can be filled with so much love for a person and so much hate for that same person. Human nature is difficult to understand and even more complicated to change. Always learn to work with human nature and never against it. It is a battle you will always lose.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-the-Universe:-Listen-to-Your-Heart-at-Times&id=9719541

The Courage to Be Content and Discontent

God calls us to two great and divergent poles to access the abundant life: to be content and discontent at the same time.

BEING CONTENT

Abundance as a spiritual concept is an outcome we arrive at through being content with what we have. With all we've been given, possessions and experiences, we're to be content. We count our blessings. Doing this means we have the courage to let go of our covetousness - those things and events we'll never have, and are not supposed to have. To do that we'll need to change some things in our lives, like say no to people, and drop unhealthy ambitions.

Being content, because it necessitates change to embrace surrender, requires courage.

BEING DISCONTENTED

Abundance is also a journey, a destination we never reach. We have glimpses of our contentedness, and these are good and to be enjoyed, but we can't get stuck there, because before too long contentedness becomes discontentedness. We can, however, enlist the courage to agree to remain discontented with where we're at. It's the only way we will continue to grow. It takes courage to refuse to settle.

CONNECTING CONTENTEDNESS AND DISCONTENT

These two divergent poles of demeanour seem on the surface not to complement one another, but together they're a perfect accompaniment, because they're a balance.

Being content is important, but staying content means we must be discontent with where we're at. Staying content will require us to break camp from our ideas that staying in our own safe bubble is even achievable, as it isn't. Life is always changing, and we have to remain mobile, which is the wisdom of humility that assumes nothing.

***

Life is in being content 

with what we have 

whilst being discontent 

with staying as we are.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Courage-to-Be-Content-and-Discontent&id=9622824

Learning to Enjoy Every Minute Of Your Life

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Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored. We often get so caught up with our busy lives that we tend to forget how important it is to truly live in and experience each and every moment. We live for the big and exciting things while appreciating little things at the same.

To be happy, we need have a quality life and a balance among work and friends and family. Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. With me, what you see is what you get. Yes, call me naive, but I love life. I am happy, and for that, I make no apologies.

Trust yourself. If you're happy, if you're feeling good, then nothing else matters. Don't waste a minute not being happy. Be happy with being you. Love your flaws. Own your quirks.

We overlook the seemingly meaningless, for the something meaningful. And we live for the big things, and not for today. Do what you've been dreaming of doing. Enjoy every moment. And follow your heart completely. And do it all while you still have the chance.

It is common to assume the happiness of this life is more important that the happiness of future lives, but if we consider more carefully we shall see that the happiness of future lives must be more important because the happiness of this life is brief whereas future lives are many and long. We work so hard and put so much effort into securing happiness for ourselves later on this life, but it makes more sense to work as hard as we can to prepare for future lives.

If we are to respond to life's difficulties with a positive or peaceful mind they would not be problems for us; indeed we may even come to regard them as challenges or opportunities for spiritual growth. So, despite the delusion of anger, for example, views other people as intrinsically bad, but there is no such thing as an intrinsically bad person. This shows that in itself ice cream is neither delicious nor disgusting.

That is why I am not affected with what other people say. I am happy because I am myself and my kids love me. I am very happy also especially when I see my old friends way back in high school. It's easy to impress me. I don't need a fancy party to be happy. Just good friends, good food, and good laughs.

I'm happy. I'm satisfied. I'm content. Life is beautiful. What about you?

I want to dedicate this article to Holy Cross of Sulop, Inc. Batch 1992. Because of you guys I forgot my problems and realized that we need to live life to the fullest by enjoying every minute of it. Love you guys!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Learning-to-Enjoy-Every-Minute-Of-Your-Life&id=9648999

Dinnertime - Balancing the Work/Life Balance Equation

Some time back I did an interview on the importance of dinnertime. It reminded me of the importance of eating dinner as a family in the work/life balance equation so I thought I would post it here as well:

In your view, why aren't families sitting down to the dinner table like they did in the 1950s?

Simple; families have allowed themselves to get so busy that they have come to accept that sitting down together for dinner isn't a necessity. It all starts with the parents; if they don't sit down together or enforce that the family will be eating together, the family won't do it. Make sitting down together the rule and not doing so the exception.

How does this affect both parents and children?

Dinnertime is a prime opportunity to have a captive audience with your kids and to allow for discussions to develop organically. Not capitalizing on this opportunity means that parents and children miss the chance to connect on both simple topics (how was your day?) and more complex topics (addictions and sex).

What are your top five tips for creating the perfect family dinner together?

1. Start early when the kids are young - set the expectation that the family sits down for dinner together such that the kids see it as the normal thing to do.

2. Establish a contract - When my kids were little, my wife and kids would eat dinner at 5PM and I would eat later when I got home from work. We had to agree upon a dinner time (6PM) where we would all agree to be at the table for dinner. I had to schedule it in my calendar and treat it just like a meeting; because if I didn't make the meeting I would keep my family waiting. Our 6PM dinnertime contract has been in force for years and has worked beautifully.

3. Turn off the electronics - No TV, iPods, or any other distractions at the table. If Publisher's Clearinghouse calls with a $1 million prize then let them wait.

4. Have some fun - laughing at the dinner table is massive for building relationships as a family. Encourage a bit of goofiness and fun. If kids see dinnertime as a fun time they are more likely to want to do it

5. Don't be in a rush to leave the table - Before our daughter went off to college my wife and I frequently would sit around the table with her after the meal talking about whatever was on her mind. From our perspective as parents there was nothing more important than giving her our attention and talking about whatever it was she wanted to talk about.

What is the most important thing parents should know about eating with their children?

Dinnertime is more than filling your gullet. It is where kids get to observe their parents in a captive environment and establish relationships which transcend well beyond the dinner table. Think about dinnertime as the place where relationships get built and where your words and actions imprint upon your kids.

Is there anything else you think I should know?

This all starts with the parents. If the parents agree that dinnertime is a priority then the kids will see it as a priority. If the parents view the dinner table as a place to build relationships, the kids will participate. If parents make the dinner table fun, the kids will want to be there. Parents need to set the standard and be the example.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Dinnertime---Balancing-the-Work/Life-Balance-Equation&id=9478091

Finding Your Sweet Spot

Anything out of balance feels out of whack, feels unpleasant and overwhelming. It just doesn't sit right when you're not in your "sweet spot". Meditating is the same. In the beginning, it would be extremely awkward, even certain levels of discomfort in the physical body caused by the attempt to give the mind new instructions to take it slow. To let it all go. Any kind of environment we were growing up with, be it work or school or even at home, you were conditioned to take in as much as you possibly can. To grow up quickly and learn as fast as you possibly can. To absorb and to digest.

No one in this world ever taught you to let go. To do less and to not do anything at all. To just be present and be in the moment. You would never find it in any "to-do list" because it seems "lazy" to have so little on it. To fathom the concept of doing less yet able to be producing more. In this day and time, quality productivity surpasses any other forms of multi-tasking.

You can be the best multi-task-er in the world but at the end of the day, if you went home and unloaded your "overflowing" cup and drowned everyone else with your workload you have taken on, then you have not succeeded in finding the balance and harmony for yourself. You are simply dumping it off on someone else. A best friend, a lover or a spouse, your poor mother or perhaps even strangers who have no business listening to you ranting on about your day's issues.

This is why we practice mindfulness to find the "sweet spot". It can increase positive emotions and lower negativity and thus counteract stress and prevent depression from "overworking" the mind. It also increases the capacity for attention (to be present) and develops our memory so we may focus on the good things in life that we already have. Of course, being mindful helps to be more solution oriented and getting better at exploring creative strategies for problem-solving. Meditation also helps a person withstand the traumatic effects of the mental state of being and enhance its resiliency.

Mindful living benefits us in a positive way which we are able to experience our bodies and minds differently and we are not so quick in reacting to bad situations and circumstances, instead we will be able to handle it effectively and positively strengthening ties and relationships with every aspect of our lives. It can extend to every aspect of our existence and consistent practice will lead us to benefiting from it in the long-term immensely.

The "sweet spot" equates to "life's satisfaction". Mindfulness cultivates behaviors and attitudes that encourages it and makes the pleasures of life more noticeable and enjoyable, also helps us become more committed to activities in the moment and a greater capacity to deal with life's challenges and curve balls thrown in our way. All of these ultimately leads to greater overall life's satisfaction. So we get more done and feel really good about it which reduces the moments of "default thinking" allowing the mind to wander off carelessly.

Being present in the moment lets us learn to become more flexible in our thinking, less stubborn and resistant to new concepts and ideas. We can observe our thoughts without becoming overly attached to them against our own will, we're able to accept them without the attempt to change them or have it be different. There is a deep sense of well-being that is sturdy and stable, not having to be dependent upon life's circumstances which is ever-changing at an unpredictable rate. We will be able to thrive in the harshest of conditions with a practiced mind, sitting in our "sweet spot".

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