Make Yourself Great Again

Do you ever stop and think what it might take to make you great again? Let's start with personality traits. Some say personality is inherited, but in reality these traits are developed individually through behavior exhibited over and again. It's funny how many of us can "see the speck in someone's eye, but fail to see the log in our own eye." What this is saying is before you criticize another person's behavior, understand how your actions might be stimulating this person's reactions. It is a value to be concerned, but don't react and berate what you observe. Develop the practice of offering others caring responses to behaviors appearing offensive. Don't judge, focus on what you see, and express concern. Adjustment is personal; it develops your abilities to offer help to others.

A child's dream becomes a young man's passion. This passion creates career decisions through mid-life and into older age. The rockets are firing from the start, some misfire, but the engine never quits. The drive for a career begins a journey fraught with disappointment and elation, failure and success, hurt and satisfaction. But most importantly, at the end of the journey, accomplishment, pride, integrity, and dignity are the driver's results. These are learned skills; if they have not been developed, start now to reorganize and make corrections to facilitate productive development.

Maintaining control and being in charge is a task requiring information, understanding, and a willingness to abide by these behavior directives. Information raises your awareness, understanding guides you to create a plan of action, and taking action is your energy, desire, and dedication for managing to the best of your ability. You are in the driver's seat when you are actively thinking and managing yourself. With God as your co-pilot, you are on a winning team.

Learning is a process, a continuous event with no end. As you engage others, listen, observe, and absorb positive, productive information. These are basic elements of learning. Once received and acknowledged as beneficial, a level of understanding wraps the package, and prepares it for implementation. Once put in action, assessment and evaluation indicate value and cement learning experiences.

Others observe your actions and behavior. "Perception, the truth as you see something, but not as is really is," often leads to judgment calls. Your thoughts are internal controls. They direct your actions and behavior. Positive, productive, and inoffensive thoughts direct behavior that may be well intended, supportive, and loyal. Done successfully, they produce behaviors that are efficient, maintain relationships, and effect memorable results. No better sign of loyalty exists.

If depression sets in, you are likely sensing darkest moments. Depression is like riding a roller coaster headed down from its highest peak. Putting on the brakes only gets you stuck at the bottom. Allowing the decent, the bottom is reached with momentum carrying you back up. Don't put the brakes on when distracted by negative thoughts. Substitute positive thought of what you can do. Eventually the roller coaster comes to a platform. Your choice: get off or go for another ride. Choose wisely.

Advice or direction offered in written or spoken communication can provide legitimate tools for change or adjustment. Thoughts process information, gain understanding of its meaning, and gets you ready for action. The information and understanding helps you know where you are going and to identify purpose. Action is a personal decision based on desire for exploration, accomplishment of a specific goal, and reward for achieving a productive and desired outcome. Be selective and understand your choices.

Life's journey is the "first wonder of the world." Wondering what tomorrow may bring; wondering if success will result; wondering if this is the correct path! A need to be strong, wise, and in control guides you through suggestions and ideas. You may stumble and fall, but faith and belief encourages you, provides strength to get up, and moves you to continue. Determination and drive erase wonders and guides us over the finish line! Trust faith, believe in yourself, and gallop on!

Dr. Mike

http://ezinearticles.com/?Make-Yourself-Great-Again&id=9632628

Fail Your Way to Success - Donald Trump, Thomas Edison & Ellen DeGeneres ALL Agree!

As I have interviewed and researched serial entrepreneurs like Andy Kurtzig*, founder of JustAnswers(r), I have learned that they really do all share a couple of key personality traits. They also, typically, have immediate family members who had these same skills. We will evade the nurture or nature debate at this time as it is not pertinent how they attain these skills so much as it is important to understand that they have these traits. Let's look at some of the quotes that are some of my favorite and then analyse them to produce the top three traits possessed by successful people. And the final question is, "Can you attain these traits, or more so, do you already possess them?"

Here's my favorite quotes about success and failure...

1) "The phoenix must burn to emerge." - Janet Fitch

2) "What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate." - Donald J. Trump

3) "It's a blip, not a catastrophe." - Donald J. Trump

4) "Failure isn't fatal, but failure to change might be" - John Wooden

5) "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." - Robert F. Kennedy

6) "As long as you are going to be thinking anyway, think big." - Donald J. Trump

7) "It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success." - Ellen DeGeneres

8) "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill

Nobody in their right mind would take all these names from science, real estate, entertainment, wartime leader, and say they have anything in common. They would be incorrect. There are three common themes in all these statements which I agree completely with my conclusions after over a decade of interviewing and researching people with the three attributes of success.

What are these three attributes...

1) Drive. Even in the face of almost certain defeat the basketball player wants that last three points on the board. The wartime General will keep the city on early certain defeat. A TV entertainer like Ellen, etc. has the drive to get up in the morning and conduct some local show, or their first stand up in a low-brow bar and have the drive to push forward!

2) Optimism. As to the point of number "1" above. These leaders, or entertainers have to believe in their own minds that it will get better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it isn't a train! It is also what I call the evolve part of the success formula. You are optimistic that you can fix, or evolve, your strategy and still be successful later.

3) Big Thinker. Again, without number "1" and number "2" this attribute can not exist. If you are going to build a ten unit apartment building, why not 500? If you can keep 50 people in the bar laughing, why not a million? If you can take one bridge, or city, why not all of them.

In short, my quote that I derive from all my research is "Fail, Evolve and move on!"

I read an article about failing recently by one of my LinkedIn(r) contacts who describes herself as "Deborah/Hodges" wrote an article titled, "When is it OK to fail?" In this article she describes what I call the evolve part of my quote above when she wrote this: "But was it a failure? On paper yes. For me personally however it was a huge success. I am still a little annoyed I didn't do more in terms of on the street canvassing... "

So, to succeed at any venture, on TV, as a leader or as a regular old person, you either have these traits from your childhood, or you spend the better part of a decade training yourself to possess these traits. I propose that every single person, no matter if they are mentally challenged, your local mechanic, Pizza shop owner, or ANYBODY on this planet, can succeed if they, "Fail, Evolve and move on", can succeed.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Fail-Your-Way-to-Success---Donald-Trump,-Thomas-Edison-and-Ellen-DeGeneres-ALL-Agree!&id=9406016

Psychologists Say There Are Only 5 Kinds of People in the World. Which One Are You?

Once you understand your personality type, it's easy to identify other people's too

Your personality influences everything from the friends you choose to the candidates you vote for in a political election. Yet many people never really spend much time thinking about their personality traits.

Understanding your personality can give you insight into your strengths and weaknesses. It can also help you gain insight into how others see you.

Most modern-day psychologists agree there are five major personality types. Referred to as the "five factor model," everyone possesses some degree of each.

1. Conscientiousness.

People who rank highest in conscientiousness are efficient, well-organized, dependable, and self-sufficient. They prefer to plan things in advance and aim for high achievement. People who rank lower in conscientiousness may view those with this personality trait as stubborn and obsessive.

Fun fact: Studies show marrying someone high in conscientiousness increases your chances of workplace success. A conscientious spouse can boost your productivity and help you achieve the most.

2. Extroversion.

People who rank high in extroversion gain energy from social activity. They're talkative and outgoing and they're comfortable in the spotlight. Others may view them as domineering and attention-seeking.

Fun fact: Be on the lookout for a strong handshake. Studies show men with the strongest handgrips are most likely to rank high in extroversion and least likely to be neurotic. That doesn't hold true for women, however.

3. Agreeableness.

Those who rank high in agreeableness are trustworthy, kind, and affectionate toward others. They're known for their pro-social behavior and they're often committed to volunteer work and altruistic activities. Other people may view them as naïve and overly passive.

Fun fact: Seek a financial investor who is high in agreeableness. Studies show agreeable investors are least likely to lose money from risky trading. Avoid an investor high in openness--that personality is associated with overconfidence that can lead an investor to take excessive risks.

4. Openness to Experience.

People who rate high in openness are known for their broad range of interests and vivid imaginations. They're curious and creative and they usually prefer variety over rigid routines. They're known for their pursuits of self-actualization through intense, euphoric experiences like meditative retreats or living abroad. Others may view them as unpredictable and unfocused.

Fun fact: Openness is the only personality trait that consistently predicts political orientation. Studies show people high in openness are more likely to endorse liberalism and they're also more likely to express their political beliefs.

5. Neuroticism.

Neurotic people experience a high degree of emotional instability. They're more likely to be reactive and excitable and they report higher degrees of unpleasant emotions like anxiety and irritability. Other people may view them as unstable and insecure.

Fun fact: Neurotic people seek acceptance by publishing a lot of pictures on Facebook. Studies find they're less likely to post comments or updates that could be seen as controversial, and much more likely to post lots of pictures (they also have the most photos per album).

Understanding the basics of personality.

Personality remains relatively stable over time. The personality traits you exhibited at age 7 are likely to predict much of your behavior as an adult.

Of course, you can change some of your personality traits. It takes hard work and effort to make big changes, but most scientists agree that it is possible.

http://www.inc.com/amy-morin/psychologists-say-there-are-5-personality-types-heres-how-to-tell-which-one-you-.htm

Why Narcissists Think They're Better Than You

New research on grandiosity and the Lake Wobegon effect.

                      

A central aspect of narcissism is grandiosity. That is, narcissists tend to think highly of themselves. In particular, they tend to have a positive view of themselves compared to other people.

To be fair, almost everyone has a reasonably positive view of themselves. The “Lake Wobegon effect” is the observation that people generally think they are better at a variety of skills than they really are. The name comes from the radio show created by Garrison Keillor in which all of the children in the fictional town of Lake Wobegon are “above average.” Of course, everyone can’t be above average...

A central question about narcissism, then, is whether this tendency to enhance one's opinion of oneself applies to every trait. A paper by Emily Grijalva and Luyao Zhang in the January 2016 issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin explored this issue.

The researchers did a meta-analysis of a number of studies relating people’s degree of narcissism to their tendency to enhance their view of themselves. (A meta-analysis examines the data from many different studies to capture broad trends in research that may only be evident when looking across a large number of studies.) In the studies within the meta-analysis, participants filled out an inventory that measured their degree of narcissism, and then rated themselves along a number of personality traits. In these studies, other people who knew the participants also rated them along those traits. The key question for the team was whether one's degree of narcissism predicts the difference in ratings one gives to oneself compared to the ratings other people give him or her.

Overall, there was a tendency for narcissists to have an enhanced view of themselves. Interestingly, narcissists were particularly likely to enhance traits that reflect their ability to influence the world. So narcissists perceived themselves to be more arrogant, extroverted, honest, and open than other people thought them to be. They also thought themselves to be more intelligent, better leaders, and more physically attractive than others thought them to be. 

Narcissists did not strongly enhance all traits, though. Traits that reflect an ability to be part of a community did not tend to be enhanced. Narcissists did not think they were more conscientious, fair, likable, or reliable than others thought them to be.

This pattern reflects that narcissists inflate their view of themselves in order to enhance their self-esteem. That means narcissists are focused on having an outsize impact on the world around them. They want others to know them for their individual ability rather than their ability to work with a team. As a result, they are focused mostly on traits that reflect individual leadership and greatness rather than positive traits that would make them better members of a community.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ulterior-motives/201512/why-narcissists-think-theyre-better-you

Why Narcissists, Manipulators & Psychopaths Get Power

               
Do you work with someone who is toxic, but who nevertheless seems to rise through the ranks faster than everyone else? To the point that you doubt that the world is a fair place that rewards good instead of bad?

Is this person:

• Narcissistic: charming, and would do just about anything to look good in order advance themselves?
• Manipulative: skilled at getting people to do what they want, sometimes by lying or forming alliances?
• Anti-social: lacking empathy for others or remorse for their actions?

If so, you're not alone. In a recent report in the Journal of Organizational Behavior, researchers found that people who have the “Dark Triad” of personality traits — narcissism, manipulation, and psychopathy — may advance their careers more quickly than those who do not.

If you think about it, this makes a lot of sense. Someone who is narcissistic believes that they are great, and will put their own needs and desires above all else. Someone who is manipulative knows how to get what they want. And someone who is a psychopath isn’t weighed down by regret or consideration of others.

So, at first blush, it would make sense that people with the Dark Triad could relentlessly climb up the corporate ladder.

The good news is that the same traits that got these people to the top may be their very undoing. At some point, Dark Triad leaders need to build strong relationships in order to get things done, and they simply cannot.

For example, I coached a Dark Triad CEO who started his company based on a great idea and good connections. However, now that the company is up and running, his employees fear him and feel demoralized. He can’t retain top talent, and his company is faltering.

The fact that a Dark Triad leader is eventually headed for demise is likely a small consolation, however, if you currently work with one of these people on a daily basis.

Aside from working with HR to get the person removed, which may not always be possible, here are some ways you can deal with Dark Triad leaders so that their toxicity impacts you as minimally as possible.

1. Stay true to your values.

At some point, your Dark Triad coworker might try to convince you to ally with them. They might be charming, flattering, and know all of the best ways to convince you. Before working with them, take a moment to remind yourself of what you stand for. What do you value? How do you want to be "known" in the workplace? Does this new proposition align with that? If it doesn’t, then stay away.

2. Play the long game.

Dark Triad leaders are great at short-term gains, but as we all know, life is long. Instead of getting stung by the immediate drama around that person, think about what you need to build in the long run in order to have a successful career: keen expertise, strong relationships, and a reputation for being a kind, trustworthy, honest person. Your Dark Triad coworker may make your life miserable in the short term, but you will be the one standing when they eventually implode.

3. Pay attention to their past.

Sometimes it’s hard to determine if someone is a Dark Triad coworker or not. After all, they are charming and manipulative, so they can be quite appealing at times. Even if you can’t see their negative traits for yourself, look at their past.

• Do they have multiple burnt bridges?
• Do they have a list of “bad people” who they disdain?
• Do they never acknowledge their role in failures from the past?
• Do people from their past not speak highly of them, and never come back for coffee?

If the answer to many of these questions is “yes,” then you should be suspicious.

4. Speak and act as if everyone were watching.

One of the tactics that Dark Triad leaders employ is to use gossip, back-stabbing, and shifting alliances to get what they want. Don’t get caught in their games, because anything you say or do may be eventually used against you. If you speak and act as if everyone could hear, then you'll stay above any eventual frays.

5. Document everything.

Save every toxic email, and make note of occasions when the Dark Triad person says or does something that crosses the line of what is professional. Get as much as you can in writing. Put it all in a folder somewhere, and then let it go. This serves two purposes: (1) you will have evidence if it’s ever needed for HR or legal reasons, and (2) you can symbolically cleanse yourself of the person by putting their words and deeds far away from you.

6. Don’t take it personally.

It can sting to be manipulated, used, or disregarded. But don’t take it personally. Dogs bite, bees sting, and Dark Triad people poison. It's just what they do.

7. Be inspired by them.

Yes, you heard me right. What I have found is that these Dark Triad traits, when taken in small doses, can be positive. Manipulation can be a great skill for navigating complex situations to achieve goals. Narcissism can rally people to believe in a vision. Lacking guilt means that you aren’t weighed down by regret or remorse, so you can pick yourself up quickly after failures and charge forward. These are all good things if they are done to benefit yourself AND others.

Do you have a Dark Triad coworker in your life? Which of these strategies will you use to deal with them? Write me a note and share!

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-15440/why-narcissists-manipulators-psychopaths-get-power.html

9 Tips to Say It Better

Do you want people to listen to you and take you seriously? It’s not just what you say; it’s how you say it.

You have great ideas and are on a mission to change the world—or at least part of the world. You want to make an impact on others. And you want people to take you seriously. So, how can you?

No, you can’t always control what others do, but you can control yourself. And to optimize your effect, consider the virtues of vocal influence.

To demonstrate the importance of voice, let’s look at the research. One study asked more than 300 people to rate certain personality traits. Participants were asked to rank traits such as trustworthiness, dominance and attractiveness based solely on the word “hello.” The result? An agreement of .92, indicating a significantly high agreement among participants for the personality traits each voice held. The take-home? People are judging you by your voice, without even realizing it.

The good news is that you can make a few changes to optimize the impact of your voice. Here are nine tips to take control of your voice so you can more powerfully influence others:

1. Use a deeper voice.

A lower-toned voice is perceived as being more authoritative and knowledgeable. Numerous studies have shown that a deeper voice is associated with traits such as being perceived as a leader, being better remembered and making more money.

If you don’t naturally have a deep voice, though, be careful. A study out of Duke University found that women who tried to lower their voices into what is called a vocal fry are perceived as less competent and trustworthy.

2. Change your inner dialogue.

The other day I was working with a woman who I had hired to assist me with a specific project. It became apparent immediately that she felt some resentment toward me, despite never having met her before. Her insecurities were inadvertently coming through in her voice—not in what she said but how she said it.

To prevent this from happening to you, address what you are saying to yourself by crushing your inner critic to help you develop a confident and positive voice inside and out.

3. Smile.

Smiling can actually cause you to feel happier, which can be conveyed in your voice. And people are often drawn toward positive people. What’s more, smiling causes structural changes in your mouth, which can influence the tone you produce. Smiling helps you sound more friendly and responsive.

4. Use a dynamic tone.

Monotone, or a flat voice, conveys that you are bored, or boring—neither of which will help you influence others. Instead, try to vary your tone with some higher and some lower pitches. It will sound more compelling and engaging.

5. Use speed wisely.

Slow speakers are judged as being less honest, less compelling and less powerful than those who speak more quickly. Speakers with faster-paced speech are deemed more energetic, competent and smart.

This does not mean to talk like an auctioneer but rather to use speed in a manner where the listener can feel your excitement and still comprehend what you are saying.

6. Don’t be afraid of a pause.

While this may seem like a contradiction to the tip above, using pauses wisely can also help you be impactful. For example, pausing before a statement can help enhance its sense of importance. A brief delay in speech can also help you gather your thoughts without the dreaded “um” or “you know” that can damage your effectiveness as a speaker.

7. Speak in their accent.

Research finds that people tend to distrust those with an accent that differs from theirs. While you may not be able to control your native tongue, you may want to consider taking steps to change your accent.

A friend of mine is a well-known TV personality who grew up with a thick Boston accent. When he moved, he realized how important it was to viewership to drop his Northeastern intonation.

8. Breathe.

Shallow, anxious breaths can result in tightened vocal cords, which can cause your voice to not only sound more anxious, but also go up (see tip 1 for why you want to avoid this). Deep, belly breaths, on the other hand, can reduce anxiety, relax your vocal cords and create a tone that is calmer.

9. Inflect down.

Inflection refers to where you place emphasis on the words. Those who tend to use a rising inflection (starting with a lower pitch and ending higher, such as when you are asking a question) are viewed as more uncertain and less trustworthy. Instead, use a down inflection (going from a higher tone to lower) to convey confidence and authority.

http://www.success.com/article/9-tips-to-say-it-better

Rohn: 7 Personality Traits of a Great Leader

The qualities of skillful leadership

If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. Leadership is the ability to attract someone to the gifts, skills and opportunities you offer as an owner, as a manager, as a parent. Jim Rohn calls leadership the great challenge of life.

What’s important in leadership is refining your skills. All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective. Here’s how:

1. Learn to be strong but not rude. It is an extra step you must take to become a powerful, capable leader with a wide range of reach. Some people mistake rudeness for strength. It’s not even a good substitute.

2. Learn to be kind but not weak. We must not mistake kindness for weakness. Kindness isn’t weak. Kindness is a certain type of strength. We must be kind enough to tell somebody the truth. We must be kind enough and considerate enough to lay it on the line. We must be kind enough to tell it like it is and not deal in delusion.

3. Learn to be bold but not a bully. It takes boldness to win the day. To build your influence, you’ve got to walk in front of your group. You’ve got to be willing to take the first arrow, tackle the first problem, discover the first sign of trouble.

4. You’ve got to learn to be humble but not timid. You can’t get to the high life by being timid. Some people mistake timidity for humility. Humility is almost a God-like word. A sense of awe. A sense of wonder. An awareness of the human soul and spirit. An understanding that there is something unique about the human drama versus the rest of life. Humility is a grasp of the distance between us and the stars, yet having the feeling that we’re part of the stars. So humility is a virtue, but timidity is a disease. Timidity is an affliction. It can be cured, but it is a problem.

5. Be proud but not arrogant. It takes pride to win the day. It takes pride to build your ambition. It takes pride in community. It takes pride in a cause, in accomplishment. But the key to becoming a good leader is being proud without being arrogant. In fact, I believe the worst kind of arrogance is arrogance from ignorance. It’s when you don’t know that you don’t know. Now that kind of arrogance is intolerable. If someone is smart and arrogant, we can tolerate that. But if someone is ignorant and arrogant, that's just too much to take.

6. Develop humor without folly. That’s important for a leader. In leadership, we learn that it’s OK to be witty, but not silly. It’s OK to be fun, but not foolish.

7. Lastly, deal in realities. Deal in truth. Save yourself the agony. Just accept life like it is. Life is unique. Some people call it tragic, but I’d like to think it’s unique. The whole drama of life is unique. It’s fascinating. And I’ve found that the skills that work well for one leader may not work at all for another. But the fundamental skills of leadership can be adapted to work well for just about everyone: at work, in the community, and at home.

http://www.success.com/article/7-personality-traits-of-a-great-leader

Stressed? 5 Simple Ways to Prevent Burnout

I just had my voice tested via a new technology called Kijini, which analyzes the tone of your voice for personality traits and nutritional deficiencies (pretty amazing!). My voice indicated that I’m deficient in lutein and B-vitamins—both easy fixes. The personality portion, though, revealed this: “You spread yourself too thin.” Well, that’s no surprise, I thought—who doesn’t? But how do we fix that?

Most modern success stories read like adaptations of Greek myths. Our role models are remarkable demigods like Oprah, Tony Robbins and Beyoncé—we admire and study them with awe, aiming high and taking our own leaps as they lead the way. The entrepreneur or career rock star is the hero, on a journey built from accomplishing half a dozen amazing feats and still fitting in Pilates before dinner. Accomplishments like these are our new currency and our status symbols.

While we strive to be our happiest and healthiest, we also reach for financial success, achieved by longhours and hard work. As we reach for our “best life,” we aim for work-life balance and feel bad when we don’t feel we have achieved it.

And here’s where it gets real: That stress is killing us. We are seeing alarming increases in mental and physical disease either caused by or exacerbated by stress. One in two men and one in three women are projected to develop cancer in their lifetime. Forty million adults in the U.S. suffer from anxiety disorders. And 47 percent of our physicians report at least one symptom of burnout.

Just about everyone today is spread thin, which if left unchecked can evolve into stress-related burnout and eventually into disease. But it doesn’t have to be this way. I’ve found some remarkably easy ways to keep from falling into the trap of burnout:

1. Don’t mistake busy for business.

Watch your workload and use this simple question for each item on your task list: “Will the effects of accomplishing this task make a positive, lasting impact in my life and the life of the business?” If the answer is no, it’s most likely not worth doing.

2. There’s no such thing as self-made—so get good at asking for help.

Use this simple formula for making requests of others: Identify who can help you, ask them if you can make a request of them, make the specific request with the time it’s needed by, and thank them profusely whether or not they help you. If they don’t help, ask them who they think will. Your success is directly proportionate to your ability to ask for help.

3. Keep Sunday sacred.

There’s a reason world religions have a sacred day of rest—it’s required to maintain health and emotional well-being. The Buddhists have a simple practice called “Circle Day,” when they take one full day off in the middle of the week and use it to rest, meditate, create art and take care of themselves. And it works; when I take time to do nothing, I come back to my work with new insight, boosted creativity and a renewed sense of curiosity.

4. Mind your adrenals.

Stress taps our adrenal glands and causes exhaustion in our bodies—and we often cover it up by drinking more caffeine. When I began taking Standard Process Drenamin supplements, my energy increased exponentially. You can also take Holy Basil supplements or sip Holy Basil tea to help the body stop producing cortisol—the stress hormone that ages and exhausts us. I do both now, and my focus, clarity and ability to accomplish big goals has increased beyond anything I ever thought was possible.

5. Meditate (so you don’t have to medicate).

A lot of the world’s most successful people do it. Start by setting your digital timer for five minutes. Then sit comfortably and inhale deeply through your nose for a five count and exhale for another five count. Repeat this over and over until the timer beeps. Increase as you are able.

My mentor used to call me a “blender without a top” back when I was heading up my tea company,Zhena’s Gypsy Tea, and not meditating. The mindfulness activity increased my ability to discern opportunities, delegate more wisely and be more confident. It’s as crucial to my parenting as it is to my business, because it decidedly calms the chaos.

I’ve scheduled a follow-up with the voice analyst, and my prediction is that my lutein and B-vitamin levels will be normal since I bought the supplements and triple-dosed myself, but I expect the personality analysis will not change. I believe that balance is a point of view, and while some would call it spreading ourselves too thin, I’m opting for a different perspective, a healthier hero’s journey: “spreading our wings in flight.”

Spreading ourselves thin is a tendency most of us have in our quest to succeed, but it’s not a lifestyle we can’t counterbalance with some simple, healthy habits. So here’s to your balance and your success on your own hero’s journey—and may it be burnout free!

http://success.com/blog/stressed-5-simple-ways-to-prevent-burnout

Procrastinators: How to Fight Your Genes and Get Stuff Done Now

  

"Never leave that til tomorrow which you can do today," said Benjamin Franklin.

Pretty good advice, especially considering it comes from a guy who was an absolute whiz at productivity (Franklin was somehow an author, printer, politician, postmaster, scientist, inventor, civic activist, statesman, and diplomat).

Recognizing the wisdom in the aphorism, however, won't stop most of us from putting off the "no-more-delaying-ever" regiment until tomorrow. (Which isn't always so terrible: We're not robots, after all, and leaving a project unfinished so we can hit the beach every once and awhile keeps us human.)

But for some of us, procrastination isn't an occasional kind of thing. Instead, it locks us in a vise grip and comes to define the way we approach everything. If you're like me, you know the exhausting ritual well: voluntarily delay a necessary task until the panic about meeting a deadline finally outweighs inaction. Not only can it send you into an unhealthy and crippling shame-spiral, it's also one giant productivity killer.

Why are some of us more susceptible than others? Like most personality traits, a recent study published in Psychological Science finds, it has a lot to do with our genes.

Researchers at the University of Colorado at Boulder surveyed 181 pairs of identical twins and 166 pairs of fraternal twins about their work habits. Compared to fraternal twin pairs, identical twins reported stronger behavioral similarities regarding their ability to set and meet goals as well as their tendency to act impulsively. Based on this, the researchers concluded that procrastination is, at least in part, heritable and has a strong genetic overlap with impulsivity.

Impulsivity probably had an evolutionary advantage, Daniel Gustavson, the study's lead author, says. For our ancestors – struggling to survive in a dangerous world, fast and decisive decision making was more important than long-term planning. Procrastination either evolved at the same time as impulsivity, or "evolved as a byproduct of it," he says (when we're impulsive, we become distracted from -- and thereby put off -- long-term goals). Unfortunately, circa now, where both goal management and the ability to delay gratification is rewarded, these two intertwined genetic traits hurt rather than harm.

But before you start blaming your penchant for leaving everything to the last minute on mom and dad, remember: most of our personality traits are, at least in part, heritable. The last thing the Gustavson wants is for people to read about his study and conclude: Welp, guess that means I'll never change. "When people see big genetic influences on a trait, they often think they can't do anything about it," he says. "And that's not true. Just because something is heritable doesn't mean it can't be changed."

Tim Pychyl, a psychology professor at Carleton University in Ontario, Canada, and the author of Solving the Procrastination Puzzle, agrees.

The way he sees it, our limbic system (the ancient, reptilian part of our brain which just wants to feel good now) is in constant battle with the prefrontal cortex (a section that developed later in our evolution, responsible for executive functions and impulse control). Inevitably, the limbic system sometimes wins out. "It's human nature to procrastinate," he says. "You have to realize that you'll screw up sometimes but you can change if you really want to."

For all of us wrestling with genes that scream, "delay, delay, delay," Pychyl shares a few strategies to help the prefrontal cortex emerge victorious.

Understand the true definition of procrastination.

This is super important. There are many forms of delay that are beneficial – life, of course, is a constant succession of tradeoffs. Often, you need to hold off on a project because something more pressing has come up. That's not called procrastination, though. That’s called making an informed decision.

Procrastination on the other hand, says Pychyl, is never positive. "Anyone who thinks it has an upside is messing with the definition."

Some of us may develop a warped, protective relationship with our tendency to procrastinate (see tip No. 2), but while there are many reasons why we do it, "none of them are healthy," Pychyl says. "There's no virtue in it."

Stop making excuses.

This is closely related to Pychyl's previous point. Procrastination is a voluntary delay of a beneficial intended act, and therefore causes uncomfortable dissonance, which we attempt to ease with a string of excuses.

The most common? I work better under pressure. "That's nonsense!" Pychyl says.
"Everyone makes more mistakes under pressure – that’s been shown again and again. What you're really saying is 'the only thing that can motivate me to work is a huge amount of time pressure'…and there's certain pathos in that."

While procrastination can cause individuals to hyper focus, it's simply because their backs are against the wall. The same amount of attention to detail – flow, as Pychyl calls it – is possible even when you aren't under a time crunch. Learning how to voluntarily achieve a flow state requires time and effort but it's the secret to productivity. Procrastinators, he says, need to realize that it is possible to concentrate without the motivation of deadline-induced panic. It just takes practice.

Minimize distractions and set strict deadlines.

If you have every distraction available at the push of a button, you're more likely to check Facebook, check your emails, and suddenly three hours have gone by. Distractions, of course, decrease productivity for everyone, but for the chronic procrastinator, they're real time-suckers. It's better to eliminate as many of them as possible (be that blocking Facebook, deleting Solitaire off your desktop, whatever you have to do).

In addition, set a strict schedule for yourself. "Autonomy is good for non-procrastinators, put procrastinators need short, concrete deadlines," Pychyl says. For managers dealing with procrastinating employees, Pychyl recommends having them articulate their goals in concrete terms. Specific details -- rather than a vague "I'm working on X project – helps hold procrastinators accountable. "Have them make implementation intentions rather than goal intentions," he recommends.

Don't let your inner 6-year-old dictate your actions.

"I don't know where we learn this, but somehow we internalize the notion that our motivational state has to match the task at hand," says Pychyl. "We don't feel like doing something, and we think that's a reason!"

He calls this logic 6-year-old thinking. In reality, "For many of important tasks, if not most of them, getting started has nothing to do with how we feel."

Still, we often dismiss the notion of getting started today with the perpetually hopeful "I'll feel more like it tomorrow." We almost never do, though, and so the task gets pushed off again. Why, then, do we persist in maintaining the delusion that a repellent task will be magically rendered less aversive in a mere 24 hours?

We tend to predict our future feelings based on present feelings, Pychyl explains. (Think about shopping for groceries on an empty stomach versus after you've just eaten a huge meal – most likely, your cart will be more crowded, even though rationally you know the week ahead requires the same amount of food). "When you decide to procrastinate, you relieve some stress which makes you feel good. So when you predict how you're going to feel tomorrow, you base your prediction on your current mood."

In addition, brain scans have shown that we tend to think about our future self as we would think about a stranger (known as temporal discounting), which explains why we often overestimate our ability/desire to accomplish an unappealing but necessary task three weeks from now.

The biggest myth that procrastinators need to dissolve if they want to break the delay cycle? "I'll do it tomorrow," says Pychyl. "Once you realize that this is an avoidant coping strategy, you're on your way."

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