Top Tips For Managing Feelings of Intense Anger

Anger is a natural reaction to a specific situation. We are all instinctively hardwired to respond aggressively to a perceived or real threat. Anger may be healthy or even crucial for an individual's well-being in some situations, yet it becomes detrimental if it grows into an unmanageable rage. It then takes control of our lives, hurting the people around us. According to research, one out of every five persons has anger management issues. These individuals struggle with abnormally repressed or expressed anger, leading to severe emotional and physical implications.

Anger causes us to act dangerously as we are likely to not think clearly as we speak or react. Most people later regret whatever they said or did while they were going through their feelings of intense anger. Anger can make you hurt others or even yourself emotionally or physically. People may start avoiding you or even feel fearful of you, leading to feelings of isolation, loneliness or even depression. Uncontrollable rage and anger cause poor decision-making and adds further complications to your life.

To start your anger management process, the best strategy is to start recognizing the early signs of anger within you. These signs could be physical or emotional changes that you might observe as you start feeling angry. You may feel your muscles tense up, such as a tightening sensation in your shoulders or instinctive fist or jaw clenching. Your face may start feeling flushed or hot and your heartbeat may start beating more rapidly. Some people feel knots in their stomach, while others get headaches or start pacing. There may be feelings of impatience, sadness, irritation or being weighed down.

Some people have innate patterns of thinking typical to their family, making them increasingly prone to anger. Several very angry people have the tendency to blame others for their troubles. Others take things very personally, believing that everyone else is after them. Another type becomes angry over mundane issues like being lost or the traffic.

Start by prioritizing the significant issues over the trivial ones and deal with them accordingly. To manage your feelings of intense anger, out of these very effective strategies, you need to find the ones that work for you.

The first step is to accept the fact that you have the strength to control your anger. This control is essentially a skill that improves with practice. Realizing that ups and downs are very normal will enable you to understand that it is acceptable to feel anger when something goes wrong. Focus on the positives in your life and do something that relaxes you. Breathing deeply and slowly works for almost everyone.

Stop yourself from saying or doing the first instinctive thing that comes to the mind and instead, count to ten. This brief wait will let you think about how others' feelings will be affected by your reaction. Think about leaving or at least taking a break and come back after you feel more in control of your anger. Make advance contingency plans for how you will react if you find yourself in irritating circumstances.

Listen to others with open-mindedness. Perhaps you have preconceived notions about what others say since you haven't been listening carefully. Try to explain your perspective very calmly, even if you find it tiresome. Develop your own constructive anger management methods, such as listening to music, a run, talking to a friend or perhaps writing a journal.

When you find yourself achieving even the slightest level of success at managing your intense anger, appreciate yourself. Move further ahead in the process and identify the circumstances where you are able to manage your emotions and the ones where your anger takes over. This will be your powerful tool that will grow as you achieve more and more success in your anger management.

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Where Does Anger Come From?

Many people ask: where does anger come from? The answer is not as complicated as the complexities involved in managing anger.

Anger comes from our natural and instinctive desire to protect ourselves. When we get angry, we are usually responding to fear or a perceived lack of control. Anger is a basic defense mechanism and it usually shows up when we are being rejected, attacked, threatened or faced with something for which we are not prepared.

Different things trigger anger for different people. What makes you angry might not make your neighbor angry. That's because you are impacted by a different set of threats than your neighbor.

Knowing that anger is the body and the psyche's way of protecting itself will help you identify particular triggers for your own anger.

Rejection

Getting rejected is an obvious trigger for anger. If you are wondering where does anger come from, think about how you felt the last time you didn't get a job you thought you interviewed well for.

Think about a relationship that didn't work out, or a divorce or any other time that you felt excluded or left out. Feeling angry over any of those scenarios is natural. The anger can cover up other emotional responses, such as insecurity or a loss of self esteem.

Anyone would prefer to feel angry instead of unloved or undesired. When you start to feel angry after a rejection, acknowledge those feelings and immediately try to do something that makes you feel supported and loved.

Hang out with old friends, visit a parent who always has a kind word or do something you know you're good at.

Attack

Getting attacked physically will often inspire an immediate defensive reaction, as well as anger. If someone hurts you for no apparent reason, you are expected to get mad and your initial response might be to strike back.

The anger that flares up as soon as someone tries to do you harm is there for your own protection. When your physical safety is at risk, you need a little extra adrenaline to fuel your emotional response.

Even if the attack is not physical, you will feel angry. If someone attacks your idea or unfairly criticizes something you've done, you will feel angry and want to fight back. Standing up for yourself is a natural and appropriate way to express yourself.

It's a good way to respond to anger. Fighting back in excessive ways will not help you feel any better, however. Use your anger to defend yourself when you need to, but don't let that anger swell and lead you to unnecessary physical aggression.

Lack of Control

Everyone likes to feel some sort of control over their lives, so when that control is absent, anger might show up.

Something simple that you cannot control such as a canceled flight might make you mad, as will a major life event such as a serious illness in your family or the loss of a job.

Your anger might lead you to yelling, blaming others and acting out in ways that are less than productive. Since you know where the anger comes from, take a moment to step back from it and realize that getting mad is not going to give you any additional control over an already challenging situation.

There are other emotional responses you can call upon that are more positive than anger. First, try acceptance.

Acknowledge that you have been threatened or rejected. Accept that you do not have control over everything that happens to you; only over how you respond to those events.

You can choose to talk through the causes of your anger or express your anger through writing, painting, running or re-decorating your house. Find something that makes you feel better, and your anger will eventually leave you.

Now you know the answer to "where does anger come from," so it's up to you to use that knowledge. Understanding that you feel anger in order to protect yourself and defend yourself against a perceived threat will help you deal with your anger better.

You can identify what triggers your angry response and utilize all of your skills, talents and knowledge to express and release that anger in ways that will not cause further harm

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