Why Do Some People Have Aggressive Or Violent Tendencies?

Violence refers to the use of physical force with the intent to injure another person or destroy property. It is a hot issue. You can hear it on the radio, see it on TV, and read in newspapers. What makes them do this? Where does this hostility stem from? How can we understand senseless acts of aggression?

Violence is often considered a physical expression of aggression, impulsive, reactive, or defensive in nature. It can develop from situational or environmental factors and may result from a mental condition or from personal or cultural beliefs. These factors that affect our behavior and are at risk for developing violent tendencies such as the biological traits, family bonding, individual characteristics, education, child upbringing, peer relationships, culture, and resiliency.

Each factor of a person's life can affect and be affected by another factor. When negative factors are accumulated such as maltreatment, chaotic neighborhoods, or psychological problems reach a brink, then, violence is more likely to erupt as a means of coping with life's problems.

Though it is difficult to identify all of the factors that may lead to the development of aggressive tendencies or violent behavior; growing in mentally erratic and physically abusive environment significantly affect the psychological and physiological makeup of a child.

Alcohol-related violence is rampant nowadays but not everyone who drinks alcohol, even to excess, becomes aggressive. Aggressive or violent tendencies can result from different mental health conditions. It can be due to drug abuse which may produce violent behavior, even when a person is not usually violent. Bipolar disorder can also lead to the violent expression of aggressive thoughts. In some instances, brain injuries can also cause a person to become violent, and children who grew up in traumatic or neglectful environments can be more inclined to demonstrate aggression and resort to violence.

Children who grow up with aggressive parents may also begin to demonstrate aggressive behavior or mental health conditions as a result. Bullying, for example, is significantly connected to mental health. Inconsistently or inappropriately disciplined children, are more likely to become bullies and may then abuse their own children later in life. They also are more likely to experience parasomnias, such as night terrors and sleepwalking, than children who did not experience bullying from a sibling.

Demonstrated aggressive and/or violent behavior may also indicate an intermittent explosive disorder (IED) or conduct disorder. IED condition is often indicated by extreme expressions of anger, disproportionate to the situation, that may become an uncontrollable rage. Conduct disorder, on the other hand, is a condition under attention-deficit and disruptive behavior and is characterized in part by physical and verbal aggression, destructive behavior, and cruel behavior toward humans and animals.

A person in an abusive relationship, for example, may fear further consequence and feel unable to leave the relationship, which can potentially subject her to further harm. When feelings of shame, humiliation, or fear, are expressed, protective aggression may dissipate.

When violence occurs as a result of abuse, such as when physical abuse that occurred in childhood leads an adult to resort to violent expression. Although most people can control their actions to the extent. However, there are a few who end up in violence.

Self-control is key to a well-functioning life because our brain makes us easily susceptible to all sorts of influences. This is the reason why control mechanisms are essential to prevent us from being aggressive and violent.

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Managing Anger and Aggression

Anger is a normal emotion and can be helpful in some situations, such as those related to survival and self-protection. We have also seen that resorting to aggression is often a strong temptation when you feel angry. Aggression might be appropriate to ensure your safety but in most situations is not necessary and just inflames the situation.

Steven Laurent presents a series of tips on reducing anger and therefore limiting the possibility of reacting to anger with unneeded aggression. I will list a few of his suggestions and my comments about them:

• Understand that anger is a problem. Maybe it would be more accurate to say that anger is sometimes a problem. We have seen that anger is a normal human emotion. As long as it is limited to a brief emotional response, does not take over your life and does not remain for a long time, it is nothing to worry about. If your anger quickly escalates into rage, it is a problem. If you continue to brood about what angers you, it can affect your body systems as we have seen and create lack of emotional equilibrium in your life.

• Monitor your anger. It is useful to be mindful of many things in your life including your emotions. The more aware you are, the better chance you have of changing patterns which make life more difficult for you and for those around you. You might have a feeling that your anger is a problem, or you might hear it from others who are affected by your anger. Laurent suggests keeping a log of upsetting events, the anger they cause and how you react. It sounds a bit tedious but might be a good way to track how well you manage your anger. It is easier to see patterns when you write them down in an anger journal. Writing also gives you a chance to think about what you are doing rather than reacting automatically.

• Feel the anger and don't do it anyway. Laurent suggests here that you be aware of your anger but don't rush into a response. He prefers thinking about how you feel and why that feeling arose. Waiting to react until after you have had a chance to consider the situation helps you see what alternatives you have available. Writing down what you think in your anger journal would also help keep you aware of the process of your thinking.

• Look after yourself. Several things can make it more difficult for you to manage your anger constructively. One is your health. When you feel run down physically, you will have less ability to think clearly about how to react. The same is true if you are in a bad emotional state or under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

• Understand the ultimate source of your anger: "shoulding." Here you tell yourself how things should be, especially other people and how they interact with you. Most people have fairly clear expectations of how they would like others to treat them, which is fine. When you set yourself up as the judge of how people should react, you are more prone to react with anger and see it as your job to correct or even punish them. Along with that goes the suggestion to be less judgmental of others.

• Empathize. You most likely have a good idea of how you would like to react in any given situation, at least one you have faced before. Yet surprises wait along the way to throw you off balance. If someone asked you why you reacted a certain way, you could probably tell them why. Instead of judging people who act in a different way, consider that they might view things differently from you. You would find it easier to be less judgmental if you took the time to understand why others feel and act the way they do.

• Get your facts straight. One of the main contributors to anger at others is faulty assumptions you make about them. You might assume that have hostile intentions toward you, are aware of what your needs and desires are or know what is likely to arouse your anger. In reality, none of these assumptions may be true.

The better you are able to use suggestions such as these, the less likely you are to let your anger get the best of you. In addition, your chances of moving toward aggressive behavior are also lessened.

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What Makes You Lose Your Temper?

There are many reasons why we lose our temper. It can be due to anger, need to be valued, respected and appreciated. It can also be due to too much expectation. For example, in a company, when employees are expected to follow a set of standards but failed, basically, the normal reaction of the employer is to be angry with the behavior of his/her subordinates.

Although losing your temper is better expressed than not because it might depress you or worse, it would result in a more serious effect - violence. The reason why people become angry is that the stress level has gone up and often the cause of anger, depression, and aggression.

It's normal to get angry sometimes, but if you're prone to rage bursts, it can really damage your relationships and even ruin your career. So, before you can do anything, try to take a moment to calm yourself. Uncontrollable temper is destructive, though. It might lead to violence, self-harm, and death. It is out of control.

But if it feels like your patience is already on its last thread, divert it to something positive to help you shift your perspectives when you lost sight of things. When your temper rises, it narrows your thoughts, making it seem like getting angry is the only way to deal with it.

I am not saying that you can't get angry at any individual. What I am trying to say is that you can express it in a controlled manner. You can communicate your displeasure about something but try to sustain your control. You can yell and scream for all you care but it will only make you look overly emotional and unprofessional.

If you let yourself get out of control, and utter angry words with your employees or members of your family, you only make them uneasy. Better to become analytical during such situations and handle it calmly. I know it is easier said than done but we can always try especially if something is important enough to you that it causes the emotion; it's obviously too significant to be dismissed.

Anger is not something you have to express in an aggressive way just to avoid blowing up. It's unhealthy when it flares up all the time or stay out of control. In fact, outbursts and censure only fuel the fire and reinforce your problem.

When you're angry, the rational part of your brain is shut down. Therefore, you become irrational. You won't listen to reasons. But it should be best directed towards worthwhile goals. You can't always control the situation you're in but you can always find ways on how you express your anger without being verbally or physically abusive.

Even if someone is pushing your patience to the limit, you always have a choice on how to react proactively. When you do, you'll not only feel better but also be likely to get your goals met, manage conflict in your life, and strengthen your relationships at work and most especially with your family.

When you learn how to control your anger and express it appropriately, it will help you build better relationships and lead a healthier, more satisfying life.

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