Helping Clients Return to Their Window of Tolerance, with Bessel van der...

Seeing Is Believing & How Things Ought To Be (By Stephen Warrilow)

I was walking on the beach this morning enjoying the sound of the sea lapping on the shingle. My mind was in neutral and I was feeling gratitude for such a beautiful morning and for the blessing of living by the coast.

My thoughts drifted and wandered to the realisation of one my most cherished objectives, and then to the business deal that could make that possible... and then I was mulling over how this business deal may or may not succeed.

My thoughts then drifted further into analysis of how much this mattered to me and all the good things that depended on getting the result I wanted. I thought of how a successful outcome would enable me to help a particular person I have been mentoring.

Then I started getting frustrated: "... why is this taking so long... if seeing is believing I can't see this happening... ?"

Within only a few short minutes my peace of mind and present moment awareness was shattered and I was feeling frustrated, anxious and resentful...

The ego has a very clear idea of how things ought to be.

When reality doesn't match that image and expectation the result is frustration and pain.

It's My Life And I'll Do It My Way

Our minds are automatically programmed to create what we perceive to be MY life and it comes all nicely packaged up with clear boundaries that define my sense of who I am and how things are.

But who is this "I"?

If you were to look deep enough and persist with the question "Who am I?" you will find that there is nothing there!

This is not an idea or a theory it is an experienced reality. I am speaking from direct personal experience, having been down this line of enquiry myself, as a by-product of some extremely testing situations in the past.

When you look deep enough all you will find is a large amount of ideas about "me", thoughts that "I" have, concepts, ideas and images of "me" - all the stuff that makes up "how I see myself" and that defines "my self-image".

When all these layers of who "I am" are peeled away there is nothing there except an operating system of largely automatically pre-programmed thoughts and responses that runs the bag of bones that we like to think of as "me".

Metaphorically, think of the ego as "Windows 10" with "self" awareness!

Seeing Is Believing, Or Is It?

Like the characters in "The Matrix" we are fooled by the illusion that what we see is how things really are.

Why? Because this is the "Windows 10" default setting, which:

* See things "out there"

* Sees separateness

* Sees a world of circumstances and events and situations

* Is bound by time and sees a past and future.

* Sees the present moment - now - through the lens of its own inner map of reality which it links up seamlessly with its memory of a past and it conjecture and projection of a future

Thus we are fooled by our thoughts, we are trapped in our thoughts, and we can't think our way out of this one.

There really is no way out via the conventional functioning of the human mind.

We confuse the map with the territory.

Seeing is believing is our default setting.

But, as we become more mindful, in the gaps between our thoughts, we experience that we are far more than the limited and conventional sense of self.

We are not "Windows 10"!

As we experience this we realise that we are spiritual or energetic beings and that we really are all interconnected and part of one all-embracing everything.

The walls of separation fall away.

"Windows 10" is not an energetic being and its intention, its expectation, is linked to circumstance.

A Personal Illustration

I recall a situation of this where I was grounded in, and fixated on, circumstances. I was looking outside of myself to circumstances seeking evidence of how I could believe that my intentions were possible.

I was looking outside of myself to circumstances seeking evidence of how I could believe that my intentions were possible.

Eventually I realised that belief, or expectation, was an internal state, and that my experience of life was ultimately dependent on that.

Don't keep looking outside of yourself, to circumstances, to find evidence of HOW it might all work out.

It starts within you. You have to feel it first and then things will change and your intentions will be realised.

Seeing Is Believing & Dropping the "How?"

Letting go and dropping the "How?" is hard for the ego because letting go is an act of surrender - of giving up control.

Also it is a matter of temperament. Those of who see ourselves as the leader and in charge can find it particularly difficult. Often we can only really let go when we reach a stage of desperation.

Alternatively, we can use the following less dramatic and less stressful approach:

* Make peace with the present moment by accepting what is.

* Give thanks and express gratitude for what is - regardless of circumstances.

* Connect with your higher self/ higher power/spiritual self by the advanced practice of gratitude.

* See the end result and the outcome you seek and, this is key, feel it, and say thank you.

* Take Action - and act on inner prompts, guidance and intuitions as they arise and do so to very the best of your ability. When you act, just do it. Don't think about it and let go of attachment to the outcome.

* Finally, and most importantly - The GESTATION PERIOD - understand it, believe in it, accept it and persist through it.

"Stop Worrying About How It's Going To Happen And Start Believing That It Will"

https://ezinearticles.com/?Seeing-Is-Believing-and-How-Things-Ought-To-Be&id=10393250

Principles of Success - Definiteness of Purpose

Everyone desires to succeed in life. When you seriously want something, you can sacrifice for it. Definiteness of purpose is an unwavering desire one has in life. It is a strong wish that needs to be realised. One needs to write it down to ensure that it is firmly planted in one's subconscious mind. It is said that whatever the mind can conceive, it can achieve. Achieving such is not about how deep a person's formal education and poverty levels are. A person possesses some thing powerful to change anything in life.

Regardless of the number of times you may have failed in achieving something in life, definiteness of purpose shall help drive you achieve your desire. God the Creator has given a gift to every man, which is different from other creatures, that is, the ability to use and control the mind to achieve anything in life. You can control anything. Other creatures only follow instincts, which they do not even understand. It is, therefore, important that you describe exactly what you want. Set a goal bigger than the one you achieved before.

To very human being is placed two choices in life. That is to follow blessings or riches and curses, which are a result failure to control one's mind accordingly. You enjoy blessings if you possess and direct your mind. Failure to possess and direct the mind leads to penalties or negative consequences.

Blessings of possessing and directing the mind result in several benefits, which include sound health, peace of mind, freedom from fear and worry, positive mental attitude, and material riches of your choice and quantity.

On the other hand, failure to direct and control one's mind results in ill- health, fear and worry, indecision and doubt, frustration and discouragement throughout life, poverty and lack, a lot of evil consisting of things like anger, unforgiveness, etc.

What should you do to ensure you have definiteness of purpose?

1. Get some thing on which to write your major desire in life. It terms of achieving your desire in life, you are limited by those limits you accept or those you allow others to set for you.

2. Clearly describe what you intend to do in return to get what you desire in life. Begin doing it immediately. Always remember that there is nothing for nothing. Provide service or something of value.

3. Read and repeat the statements you have written down and memorise them. Read it the statements at least twice a day, that is, in the morning and evening.

Begin expressing gratitude for realizing your desire before holding it in your hands.

Definiteness of purpose is the first principle of success on anything you want to achieve in life. Know what you want and put it on a concise statement. It is important to determine what you can offer or provide in return to acquiring your desire. Put the two statements on paper or writing so you can read and memorize them. Read it regularly until it is part of you. Start expressing gratitude right away.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Principles-of-Success---Definiteness-of-Purpose&id=10405427

Seldom Remembered Business Goal - Reaps Huge Benefits

When a New Year dawns many people set new business and personal goals.

Consider adding this goal to your list.

"Keep a positive attitude moment to moment."

In spite of the twists, turns and vicissitudes all is in right order for you and all in the Universe.

I'm sure you'll agree that positivity is missing in most everything we see in the world. It seems that more is wrong than right. Yet, this has been the case for eons. Notice that humans have persevered and created many improvements in living along the way.

In fact, 87% of what we see, hear and experience is negative. Combating the negative by creating a moment to moment positive attitude is crucial to maintain "happiness and peace-of-mind." You need to be one of the 13% who are living with a positive attitude.

With that in mind being positive and living happy with peace-of-mind sounds easy... it seems possible. Then, if you look at social media, everyone seems to be lamenting and/or worrying about this, that or something and this will bring all the negative back into your world.So then, what is a person to do, to have an attitude of positivity moment to moment?

• Choose "Positivity"
• Commit to a moment to moment "Positive Attitude"
• Form a habit of being positive moment to moment.

Firstly, the moment you hear yourself have a negative thought or make a negative statement say, Cancel, Delete or Stop. Saying one of those words reminds your monkey mind to shift from old habits to a new habit. Then, rephrase your thought or statement to positivity.

If you are dealing with a situation that wasn't in your plan... Take a deep breath and say,

"All is in right order. What can I learn from this? How did I arrive here? I have the strength, courage and ability to persevere."

When you accept the situation as is, and plan your next steps you have empowered yourself to persevere and the Universe Laws are there to support you.

You can achieve positivity moment to moment by incorporating these attitudes:

1. Show you care
2. Accept responsibility
3. Treat everyone, including yourself with respect
4. Keep your word or renegotiate vs dropping the ball with an excuse or no information
5. Think remarkable outcomes in spite of the messy world
6. Enjoy a little craziness

"The Law of Positivity" is this...

When you have and practice a positive attitude you will become more excellent in whatever you do. Be positive, and you'll be happier!

To start and maintain your New Year with positivity set positivity as one of your goals. You will reap the rewards.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Seldom-Remembered-Business-Goal---Reaps-Huge-Benefits&id=10054121

Unhappy People - Why Some People Would Rather Be Unhappy Than Happy

Do you know how to be happy on the roller coaster ride of life? No matter how well off some people are, they would rather be unhappy than happy. Do you know why? Read on to find out.

Here are a few reasons:

1) They have been wired to think negative from their childhood. They cannot change their attitude. They would rather remain unhappy which is ideal for them.

2) They had suffered from some trauma in their childhood and they cannot change their frown to a smile. They are unable to let go of the past.

3) They compare themselves to others without being aware of the fact that they have fewer problems than their neighbors. Nevertheless, they can't help envying their neighbors' assets, properties and their lot.

4) They have never known what peace of mind is. Their life has been a total turmoil and they have been going down with the abyss of darkness. They are unable to turn things around and have cluttered minds. Little do they know there is a way to getting what they want and have peace of mind.

5) They do not follow morning rituals unlike what so many people of modern day do. They like to be lazy and remain unhappy. They have never known the magic of morning rituals.

6) They do not believe in personal development and are rather of the older generation. Personal development has taken the world by the storm and everybody in the modern day wants to become their best version through self-help books and programs. But some people do not find interest in them, remain backward and experience unhappiness all the time.

7) For some people, happiness has no meaning for them. They would rather complain, grumble, blame others, lose their temper, behave badly and remain unhappy.

8) They do not know what would interest them to earn their living. So they stick to toilsome routine work which is not lively or interesting. They haven't known how easier and flexible it would have been if they found out what they loved to do passionately and monetize it, rolling in money more smoothly. Rather they would do something of monotony bearing no happiness or delight.

When people who remain unhappy cannot be helped, they become outcasts and aliens in the society. Yet probably these people would still like to remain old-fashioned, be out of reach of help and stay unhappy.

Under these circumstances, if an organization like NGO and/or volunteers took some measures to help and make them understand the reality, maybe there could be some fresh round of hope for this minority of unhappy people.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Unhappy-People---Why-Some-People-Would-Rather-Be-Unhappy-Than-Happy&id=10089175

Being Content: How to Not Let Others Affect You

Ever wondered how to be content and happy without letting others affect you? How is it possible? Is it at all possible? This article answers these questions.

Let others' presence not bother you. You do your stuff all by yourself whatever you can. If you need co-ordination or help, ask for it. In break time, have fun and cut jokes and be happy. When you return to your work, do it coolly and be happy. You will cover many milestones this way. Stay in slow and steady mode - after all, you are the person who will win at it. Perseverance and determination always count.

Let others' words not sting at you. Make it go through one ear and out through the other ear. You may not allow what others say hurt you. Be firm and strong and speak boldly. Everything will work out and you do not have to be a people pleaser.

Let how others behave not bother you. You cannot expect everyone to be perfect and up to your standard. Nevertheless talk normally and accept them but don't let them hamper your thoughts or work.

Let how other people dress not bother you. If there is a dress code at work and someone violates it, they will have to pay for it. So you don't bother and sweat. If you don't like the way someone is dressed at a party or reunion, don't bother to say anything. Just keep your distance and mix with the people you are comfortable with and stay contented.

It's not your job to fix anyone. Let others do what they like, talk, behave or wear anything they like. You don't bother about these things unless it's your own family and would like to suggest something more rational or positive.

Learn to be content with your stuff in your place at work or home. Don't let anybody affect your peace of mind. You may sit in a garden for sometime or spend your time at a home library. Time will pass peacefully. If you crave for someone's company, let him or her know that and let them spend time with you for the time being and be content and happy.

Summing up, please don't let others' odd presence or behavior affect you. You may be in for a shock or surprise but it is totally their business. Control yourself and stay cool and at peace with yourself. That way you don't lose your temper or your peace of mind. Instead, tranquility surrounds you in your environment and you are left with your thoughts and work to enjoy and be content.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Being-Content:-How-to-Not-Let-Others-Affect-You&id=10030214

3 Proven Tips to Instantly Lower Stress

April is Stress Awareness Month. Lovely. I think you're probably well aware of the stress you feel! How about some tips to lower it right now? Check out my top three below. I've learned to use these the hard way-by being someone who often feels stressed and overwhelmed and is passionate about peace of mind.

Before you "pooh-pooh" them as too simple or inconsequential, check out the science behind why they work. Then, give them a try. It won't take long-and you'll be surprised at how much better you feel!

1. Delete!

We feel stress when we think what we have to do or what's going to happen is too much to handle. The tasks and events ahead look like they'll take more resources than we have. Whether those resources are time, money, energy, or relationships, we just don't feel like we've got enough to handle what we're facing.

The antidote?

Cut something out. Hit delete. Reduce your load. Make the task or event easier.

You really don't have to do everything on your list. I know it feels like you have to do all these things, but you don't. Some things you're planning to do aren't a top priority. So, cut them out-right away! If something is really important, it will come back on your list. Otherwise, let it go for now.

Get out your list, or make one, of everything you think you have to do. Then start crossing things off. You can write some on another list or in your calendar to do later. Keep only TOP PRIORITY RIGHT NOW items on your To Dos for today and organize them in the order that makes the most sense.

I can see your shoulders dropped a few inches. Your burden is lighter. You don't have to hold up the whole world. It will keep turning. Just do the few things that are top priority for you today.

Why does this work? First, it changes your perception of how much you have to do-and, when it comes to stress, perception is everything. Second, this type of decision making activates the executive function in the prefrontal cortex of your brain. This dampens your fear response and helps you feel more in control of your life.

2. Close your eyes and feel your breathing.

Now that you've cleared a little space on your list, take a minute to consciously relax. It will honestly take just a minute. I know you want to get on to the next tip (at least that's how I am when I'm reading), but trust me, this will only take a minute-and it will be worth it.

Close your eyes and take a few slow, deep, gentle breaths in and out through your nose only, feeling the sensations of breathing inside your body.

Why does this work? Closing your eyes, breathing slowly, and feeling calming inner sensations activate your body's natural relaxation response. In addition, breathing in and out through your nose balances the carbon dioxide levels in your body and increases nitric oxide production. These gases relax and dilate your blood vessels and bronchial passages bringing more oxygen to your cells. This refreshes your energy and helps you feel more at ease.

Go ahead and try this now. For just one minute, let go of everything else, close your eyes, and become completely absorbed in the sensations of slow, deep, gentle breathing. That's about 5-8 breaths, depending on your pace. Do this, then come back for tip number three.

3. Plan to do one thing that makes you happy.

What do you like to do that is purely enjoyable, makes you smile when you think of it, and makes you happy when you know you're going to do it?

What is that for you? It can be anything at all, even if it just takes a minute-except it can't be work-related. (As a Capricorn, I sometimes try to fudge this one by choosing a work task I enjoy. Instead, choose something purely for enjoyment. For example, I like to play pool and take walks in nature.)

What if you did this for even a few minutes right now, sometime today, or set a firm plan to do it this week? How does this make you feel?

Why does this work? When you do things you enjoy, you release biochemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins in your brain that make you feel relaxed and happy.

Set a reminder to practice these three tips as often as you need.

You could write all three on a sticky note, send yourself an email (with the SUBJECT: Delete, Breath, Enjoy!) and keep it at the top of your INBOX, set all three as "repeat events" in your schedule, or remind yourself in any way that works best for you.

If you practice all three every day, you'll release built-up stress and accumulate less stress. You'll be more in touch with what is really important to you, more relaxed no matter what you're doing, and look forward to enjoying something special. Can you imagine your life being happier and less stressful if you made these tips a habit?

https://ezinearticles.com/?3-Proven-Tips-to-Instantly-Lower-Stress&id=9916610

Peace of Mind Affirmations - Reprogram Your Mind for Peace and Calm

Nourishing Your Mind and Body For Life

Nourishing Yourself Is A Necessity, Not A Luxury

Maintaining a daily dose of self-care or self-nourishment means nourishing your mind and body by getting enough sleep, eating properly, having fun, and relaxing. This often may mean making time to do these things which may be easier if you have them booked into your already busy schedule. Taking the time to provide nourishment to yourself is critical to stay grounded, increase your energy reserves, peace of mind, determination you will need in order to pursue your goals, dreams, and activities that make up your life. It can also contribute to a more peaceful perspective which is essential to reducing anxiety. Because the pace of modern life is so crazy and often unrelenting, it is even more important to look after our physical and emotional well-being which is often overlooked. Self-nourishment is seen as a luxury by some, and often they think they can't afford it. You can't afford not to make it a part of your daily schedule or you can become more susceptible to stress and burnout. Leaving you with a dreadful quality of life, which can lead to depression, increased anxiety, self-hatred, and poor self-esteem. Just to name a few.

Everyone needs downtime to unwind sometimes. Downtime is exactly what it means - time away from work or other things you have on the go. It's a time to relax, rest and recharge your batteries. Stress will start to become cumulative from work and other activities, if regular breaks are not taken. It can keep building until a break is had. Even though you may push yourself to exhaustion without a break this may irritate your anxiety and phobias. Sleep doesn't constitute downtime either. Sleep can feel like a welcome reprieve but even if you go to bed stressed out and tense and get your eight hours of sleep your likely to wake up the same way. In order to experience some real downtime, an individual needs to schedule it every day, during the day, separate from sleep time. This scheduled break in the stress cycle is essential and serves a main purpose which is to prevent your stress from building up. To optimize this downtime and reduce stress, you should have the following amounts of breaks:

At least 1 hour/day

1 day/week

1 week out of every 12 to 16 weeks

Rearrange your finances so you can take time off, if you don't have 4 weeks of paid holidays per year. Any work that you would normally do at your job or that you are regularly responsible for you should stop doing, during these downtimes. Also, it may be helpful to take a break from answering phone calls unless these are healthy positive persons, and emails at this time to truly get the rest and relaxation that you need.

Types of Downtime

There are three types of downtime, each is a critical component in developing a more anxiety-free life: relaxation time, recreation/activity time, and relationship time should all be part of this consideration.

Relaxation Time

Relaxation time is a period of time that is set aside specifically for resting your mind and body without all the activities and work that you would normally be involved in. You become one in the moment by allowing yourself to rest by stopping all activities and letting your body/mind completely rest. This relaxation time can mean lying around on a couch, mediation, reading, soaking in a bathtub, listening to peaceful music, or doing gentle stretches. The main key to relaxation is to use this time to become passive and allow yourself a break, to stop doing and accomplishing and just be in the moment.

Recreation/Activity Time

Now your probably aware of what recreation/activity time is, but let's review just in case. Recreation/Activity time means becoming involved in and participating in something that not only engages you but helps you to recharge your low batteries by giving you more energy and vigor. It can brighten your day or uplift your spirits. It can be anything you find fun and that involves healthy play of any kind. This may include: gardening, pottery, reading a novel, golfing, watching a movie, going for a hike, baking cookies or fishing;etc. Recreation can be taken during your work week but the best time to utilize this time is by doing the activity on your day off from work. You decide whether you want to do this alone or with someone else. This overlaps with our third type of downtime which is relationship time.

Relationship Time

In some cases, relationship time can mean being with one person or several other people while setting aside your own private time. The whole point of relationship time is to honor and respect that time with your partner, friends, family or pets and to forego your own personal goals for a little while. It can be a difficult balance at times between having enough equal time for family, friends and a partner when you have a busy schedule. Even so, this time alone with each person or an entire family is vital to increasing your quality of life and theirs.

A healthy balance of all three of these types of downtime can contribute to your mental and physical health and well-being. Getting past workaholism, being willing to do less at times are all important steps in learning to enjoy all aspects of your life and to achieve more balance. Making time for rest, recreation, and relationships can be challenging at first when your not use to it, but tends to get easier and become more rewarding, as time goes on.

Give it a try and see how it goes. It may feel uncomfortable but that will pass. Enjoy! Let us know how you make out.

Maintaining a your self-care or self-nourishment means nourishing your mind and body. Take time for yourself by scheduling in some activities that you enjoy to do, time with friends and family or relaxation time just for you. Taking the time to provide yourself with this downtime is critical to stay grounded, increase your energy reserves, peace of mind, determination you will need in order to pursue your goals, dreams, and activities that make up your life. Let us help you build a new life. One that not only empowers you but helps you strive to reach your goals and dreams for the future.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Nourishing-Your-Mind-and-Body-For-Life&id=9879331

Reduce Your Stress by Knowing Your Personal Stress Profile

Stress. It's insidious and debilitating. It eats at your peace of mind, robbing you of sleep, adding pounds and wrinkles, and poisoning your moments.

But you know there's another way to live. Not only that, but your potential to grow more openhearted and at ease shines inside of you right now.

The key to your potential lies in becoming an expert on what triggers your stress. As you begin to see where your stress starts, you empower yourself - and that's a stress reducer in and of itself.

By simply taking the quiz below, you start to develop an overview. Then, by taking action to address your stress, you send yourself a powerful message.

You care!

It's a recipe for stress success. You're learning in advance when to expect stress. You're exploring ways to siphon stress out of your day. You ease up a little. You free yourself in small steps.

So let's get started with a quick quiz...

What's Your Stress Profile?

With this quiz, you discover your unique stress profile. Select as many answers per question as apply.

1. You feel stress in your body through:

a. Tension in your back, shoulders and jaw.

b. Sleeplessness.

c. Cravings or loss of appetite.

d. Inability to concentrate.

e. Irritability.

f. Other: _______________________________________________________

2. The following situations trigger a stress response:

a. Deadlines.

b. Others' demands on your time.

c. Concerns about friends or family members.

d. Chronic pain.

e. No down time.

f. Other: _______________________________________________________

3. List three times of day when you generally feel stressed.

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

4. How does your relationship to stress affect your time choices?

a. Chronically rushing.

b. Procrastinating.

c. Spending excessive time online or watching TV.

d. Getting to bed too late.

e. Making mistakes.

f. Other: _______________________________________________________

5. Powerful antidotes to stress for you are:

a. Setting boundaries.

b. Simplifying your life.

c. Letting go of attempts to control others.

d. Physical exercise.

e. Completing your projects on schedule.

f. Other: _______________________________________________________

6. With self-loyalty and compassion, take a careful look at how your Personal Stress Profile colors your outlook on life. Write a few words to describe what you see: _________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

7. Validate yourself for having taken this time to thoughtfully look at your stress level and think about ways to reduce it. And keep this quiz nearby for reference. It will prove invaluable as you work to change your life for the better.

Key: YOU create stress. YOU release stress.

You can reduce your stress level by changing your time choices, one minute at a time. Regardless of your work situation, your financial pressures, or the needs and demands of friends and family, you possess infinite power to generate more inner harmony and flow.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Reduce-Your-Stress-by-Knowing-Your-Personal-Stress-Profile&id=10092558

How to Make Better Decisions (By Anne O'Dwyer)

Things don't always go to plan, or it turns out you made the wrong decision. That's unfortunate but it happens! Generally you know it is the right decision because you have peace of mind when you really search inside yourself for the answer, and accept the aid of your subconscious. However if it later turns out to be the wrong decision, just decide on the best way to move forward from your current stand point. It's no use crying over spilt milk, what has passed is gone, move on.

To enlist the help of your subconscious mind, weigh up each alternative and the consequences of each action. I find it a great help to make many for and against lists, one for each option. Write is all down, you will find writing it you are likely to feel a gut reaction. Once you have done all you can to search for the right action, don't concern yourself any more but pass it over to your subconscious at bedtime. Your mind will then process the alternatives whilst you sleep. You can then enjoy a peaceful night's sleep.

Very often you will "know" in the morning which route to take, if you don't have the answer repeat each night for a night or too. Big challenges can take longer. Your subconscious will work quicker the more often you trust it to resolve your dilemmas, but act on the advice.

So now you have the answer you can move ahead with confidence, you have to trust your subconscious and the universal mind, by which we are all linked, if you want it to become your alley. A book that discusses this in more detail is:

"The Power of Your Subconscious Mind" by Dr Joseph Murphy

Don't fret over wrong decisions, just make new better decisions and move on,You waste more time and energy stressing over mistakes than if you accept your actions and move on. Everyone has a few failures on the way to success, it is part of learning. There is a saying if you don't make mistakes you don't make anything!

So what does success mean to you? Great relationships, better health, a good job well done, or a successful business venture? Maybe time to do what you want to do, or enough money? What is enough for you?

Start expecting all you want to achieve in life and make a plan to achieve it. Don't accept a mediocre existence. Claim what you want by planning to achieve it. Have confidence in your ability, stretch a little and reach out to fulfil your desires. It is worth taking a few calculated risks to fulfil your dreams and live a life of satisfaction. Whatever your dream take a step nearer if you don't you will never know what might have been.

A few years ago I decided to set up an online venture, you could too, enlist the guidance of a coach to save wasting time and money. Begin part-time to reduce risks and start earning commissions from the sale of products provided by your coach and mentor. Affiliate marketing is the simplest method to start-up, but that's another story. To a happy healthy successful future whatever your dreams.

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Make-Better-Decisions&id=9578862

Thoughts, Wills and Values in Materialist and Spiritual Realms

A thought always perpetuates and oscillates within the mind of people, how the situation develops and culminates. The passage of life progresses on predetermined path yet the last leg of the journey which conspicuously and candidly reflects the synopsis of the journey. A sentimental attachment that embodied and leaves an imprint on the mind which reminds him continually of past and present events. A ray of hope becomes the source of satisfaction if situations converge into happiness and peace of mind. Otherwise, it leaves trails of agony and pain.

These memories of the past and its repercussions within the existence itself either be melancholy or cheerful if the story revolves around near and dear persons. It establishes a fact that people's expectations and hopes do not always translate into success and satisfaction. Alternatively, it relegates into a shame and agony thus causes immense pain. Exceptions are not rules, yet we have witnessed the outcome, where the undesirable events progressively turned into happy events and vice-versa.

It generally gives immense pleasure when someone commences the journey on a preconceived idea. Otherwise, he or she acts and reacts on their impulses about the past and present events. However, the transformation of thoughts which streamline to guide the masses will prove beneficial both subjectively and objectively. What conspires and transpires at this crucial juncture is a matter of interest and great concern. There is a silver lining in the dark clouds when people dwell upon their impulses and make inroads into their consciousness. As they progress on a predetermined path, they expect support from like-minded people.

The thoughts that ignites the inner feelings in the unconscious state travel into a different state of mind. It progresses through sub-conscious and finally emerges in conscious state. These values, which are the manifestation of a character outlines an image in the frame of a mind which subsequently gives birth to 'wills and values.' Either the picture gets distorted or shapes up and becomes a focal point of attraction. These deviations are very effective and reflect on a person's mood and behavior. However, these behavioral patterns affect directly and contextually on the subject.

The story quite often reveals realities, although it starts on a fictional note. The reality generally revolves around his or her own home, yet it touches the heart and mind of many families. The end result is the core concept of families where materialistic attachments become their goal to dwell upon. At the outset, it appears advantageous and satisfactory, but it has its own miseries beautifully camouflaged and becomes deceptive.

People did not observe or notice the signs until its deeply rooted effects show its unconquerable might. Thus, the perception rules the reality and leaves the recipients lure in a state of uncertainty. It is an established fact that perception is a reality, but not the whole truth. We as human beings must follow the righteous path to achieve a desired goal. It is necessary to understand that this materialistic world is a passage through which we have to reach our destination. This passage is not a piece of cake, it has many hurdles and detours. We must sensibly and judiciously explore the right path and should also become the beacon of light to others. This is the humility and the source of spiritual attainment of body and soul.

It is appropriate to pen down a stanza from Longfellow's "Psalm of life", and it goes like this.

Lives of great men all remind us

We can make our lives sublime,

And, departing, leave behind us

Footprints on the sands of time;

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Take a Breath!

Well, don't we always get into certain situations, even very simple ones, in which we lose our temper? Be it not finding the shirt you were planning to wear, or being stuck at a traffic jam or even spilling coke on your jeans - such trivial situations, with such simple solutions, but still some people absolutely lose their temper - not knowing how to deal with it.

It is very crucial to manage your anger. A person who doesn't have control over his anger can never deal with difficult situations in life. They will always believe that the world is "conspiring" against them. One who can't manage their anger in a positive manner needs to learn how to.

Life gives a person many difficult situations, sometimes only to teach us patience which is important in our professional & personal lives.

Why professional life?

Let us take a scenario. You have worked hard for the promotion you really want and you believe you deserve. But, the "not-so-efficient" colleague gets the promotion. 

Now, the reasonable approach to deal with this situation would be to work harder and be happy for the colleague.

People who tend to have anger issues may abuse or even resort to physical violence to get the promotion- as they believe they deserved it more.

Why personal life?

We must have once in our life come across such a situation. If you have a younger sibling, all attention, importance and hopes are with the "younger" sibling, as they are usually the 'poor little things' and can't take care of themselves, even when they are adults they are treated the same way. In some cases discriminating between girl and boy. This enrages some people to no end and rightfully so. However instead of screaming and shouting and bringing the whole house down there are other ways to handle the situation.

How to deal with it?

Dealing with the situation positively would be to prove it to everyone that you are also important. Work hard and excel. Not for them, but for yourself too.

But, how do people normally deal with such a situation? They get jealous. They tend to see the negative aspect of the situation and give up.

So, seeing the above scenarios, these are basic things we deal with every day or things we have to deal with in life - it is crucial to deal with your anger.

But, how do we manage our anger?

Here are a few tips one must always follow to manage their anger.

1. Count to 10.

Think you're going to lose it and yell at the world? Count to ten. Relax your mind. Breathe.

2. Take a deep breathe.

Take long breathes and say Om. Repeat this 4-5 times. It relaxes the mind.

3. Meditate.

Meditation is actually a very simple way to gain peace of mind and lessen the anger one feels.

4. Introspect.

Try to think about the situation in a practical manner. Are you over-reacting? Can it be solved? Is it worth it? Analyze the situation instead of getting angry.

5. Go for a walk.

Nothing works better than taking a stroll in the park when you feel you're about to lose it. It makes you forget the situation or analyze it from every angle.

6. Talk it out.

When things have calmed down, take time and discuss what upset you about the situation and instead how it should have been handled.

So, here you go! These are the main things I keep in mind when I lose my temper. So have at it! Learn to live peacefully.

As Lord Buddha has Said, "You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."

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Peace of Mind

Peace of mind or inner peace is a state when your brain is free from the thoughts of distress. The state when your feelings and emotions reach the level of existential bummer. You submit yourself to your creator whole-heartedly. You are no longer convinced by the statement that there is no absolution. You find a way to map the radiant thinking process of your brain against the flow states. Inner peace is a feeling of relief and calmness. You are actually close to your Lord and your Lord is close to you. You find yourself emotionally present and no longer lost in some kind of fantasy.

Inner peace is the state when you no longer question about your fate. You finally accept the fact that life is not about victories or losses, but it is all about a continuous process of growth. The situations where you are just not thinking about your future, but try hard to live in present. You are no longer controlled by the horrible incidents of the past. You finally accept the truth that you are the sum of your experiences and each bad experience had made you stronger. There is little goodness in every bad experience.

The state where you connect your soul to something that is beyond this materialistic world, to something that is greater than yourself. You are self-aware and self-conscious. You know your way and where you are heading. You don't need anyone acceptance. You start keeping everyone at arm's length. You accept the truth that everything is in your Allah's hand. HE is all-knowing and all-hearing. HE is there for you even when no one else is. You finally find peace in your prayers. Your heart just throws the burden of all negative thoughts. You just ask your Lord to give you some purpose in life.

Inner peace gives you strength to go beyond your constraints and become selfless. You beg him not to take you back into something he has taken you out from. You become courageous enough to leave the table where respect is no longer served. You become aware of your critical inner voice. You become ready to take risks and dive into the river of future curiosity. You fill the room with your sense of knowingness. You become more stable in your decisions and less judgmental. Inner peace is a state where things like anxiety and depression, cannot control you anymore. You are free in your head and heart. It is not easy to attain this peaceful state of being; it demands a long and continuous struggle. Once you enter into this state of blissful happiness, you become mentally immortal.

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A True Story On Letting Go Of A Confused Mind And Rising Above To Finding Peace Within (By James Nussbaumer)

How to find peace within yourself even when you're always asking yourself things like, "What to do when you hate your life, or asking, "Why is this happening to me", can feed a confused mind.

It really isn't that easy when the jail cell is only six feet wide, with a concrete bench about a foot from the floor that held a torn, thin foam mattress, or what was left of one.

You 'd find that the steel bars and concrete that surrounded me securely didn't at all help me to answer how to find peace within yourself if this were you. Being dressed in the rags they called an orange jumpsuit, I was not going anywhere.

A Course in Miracles teaches that, "Perception always involves some misuse of mind, because it brings the mind into areas of uncertainty."

A small window was positioned near the top of the high block walls within inches of the ceiling. That window reminded me of the window in the fruit cellar of the basement in my grandparents' old house.

This, perhaps, you might say, would give a glimpse how to find peace within yourself.

I found that by lying on the floor and positioning my body against the wall of that cell, I could look up and through the window to see the sky, finding peace within.

My hopes were to try anything, however slight, to strap onto some sort of sanity of peace and harmony.

My anxiety and depression, along with a confused mind told me there was nothing to see out that window anyway, and the numbness I felt only added to the confused void that held me about: why is this happening to me?

What to do when you Hate your Life:

The jail cell was cold, and darkness was the view through the window, just as my depressed thinking said it would be. It was like; how to find peace within yourself?

I did notice a hint of the glow from a nearby moon.

The noise around me, and up and down the long corridor of double bunked jail cells, was horrendous, louder than a crowd in a sold-out arena. My numbness almost managed to block it out as I half-heartedly thought of ways to end my life.

A recurring set of thoughts that haunted me was, what to do when you hate your life, or, how can I live with myself?

Suddenly I became aware of what an odd thought that really was: Am I seeking for and think I am finding peace within by trying to be one being, or two?

My supper of beans and rice on a plastic tray was slid into the cell through a slot in the bars at floor level.

I left it untouched on the floor until lights out, like you 'd perhaps think, "How to find peace within yourself."

When I awoke from a brief nap to clammy darkness, the guard came by to nab the food tray-- well, at least I thought she did.

Can we begin Finding Peace Within?

The moon had changed positions and was now squarely framed in the tiny window, which my eyes grabbed onto in peace and harmony.

I now had a companion; that wonderful moon, and it remained in the window for what seemed to be a few hours.

Even after it moved its position, its glow was still apparent, with a backsplash of stars filling the sky.

I remember the calming, peaceful sight as I lay on the floor against the wall to gain the only available view. Maybe, I 'd relay this one day to people who are thinking, "How to find peace within yourself."

With my body still numb, that sky seemed very friendly.

My mind would vacillate between "thinking" and "no-thinking," or the "I" and "self." My "no-thinking" was merely a fixed gaze through the window and into the sky, nothing more, but with thoughts of why is this happening to me.

The "thinking" part of me continued its questions on "how to live with myself," or mostly like, how to find peace within yourself.

This side of me was getting weaker and more frightened as I began to recognize that there was nowhere as a body that I could hide or go to begin finding peace within.

The more I remained on the no-thinking side, the less fear I felt, and the more peace and harmony entered my psyche.

I remembered a thought, or a willingness, perhaps, which I had: to never feel the need to hide anything. It said to "let go" of whatever held me to the habitual thinking that had consumed me for so long.

More Peace and Harmony

I began having more thoughts, telling me that, although I was heading off to prison now, there was nothing to be afraid of.

Still there were sustaining fears and self-pity I could not get a grip on, such as, "Why is this happening to me?", and "What is going to become of me?"

As I continued to focus through the window, an additional, brand-new thought came clearly through my mind: "Nothing you see from this jail cell means anything."

It was my thought, my own, for sure; but I "heard" it as though it was talking to me.

Or maybe I can say it was thinking for me. This one thought persistently hounded me through my numbness.

My eyes opened widely as I suddenly realized the window was gone. It had simply vanished, along with the cell, the bars, the concrete floor, walls, and bench.

The entire building was gone.

There was nothing, only me, now sitting up in an Indian-style position with arms crossed over my legs. I was still staring at the moon and stars and even noticed how calm I was, and yet amazed.

I thought, "Is this how to find peace within yourself?"

How can you Live with Yourself?

Next, the darkness of the sky faded quickly away.

Yes, I mean, no sky, but oddly all its glory, had and remained merged together, and I felt held by it.

The stars had gathered into dense groups and attached themselves to the outer edges of the moon.

Now the moon was centered in an endless array of sparkling clusters, lighting up my view of the magnificent sight that welcomed me.

I looked down at my legs and feet, and they were gone too. I raised my arms and hands, and they were gone.

Since I had no hands to feel my face, I was convinced it no longer existed either.

My entire body was gone.

I was still there; I existed, feeling a sensation all around me as the most peaceful I've ever experienced. It was like anyone can see how to find peace within yourself.

I thought to myself, How can I see and feel all this beauty and the light without having eyes to see with?

Why is this Happening to me?

Another sensation or thought entered my mind that said, "It's okay, relax, you are already being taken care of.

Plans are made.

Events and things are being arranged at this moment, getting things ready for you. You're going to do well."

Next came a thought that told me all my errors were not real, so not to worry-- that at that very moment from many places, forgiveness was shining on me.

It also said to "let go."

The emptiness and numbness were gone, along with everything else that had faded away.

I've heard and read about people who have said they hear voices talking to them; for example, people who say, "God spoke to me."

With me, here, this was not the case.

This was pure thought, rather than a voice. Pure of a thought that there was no doubting or questioning it whatsoever. Real that it is unexplainable, but is certain.

A thought with "no-thinking."

I said to myself, "So this is what everything is all about. I am real, regardless of my body.".

I went on to consider that this is what the Bible really means by "There is no death," and why Jesus demonstrated "There really is no death." I had always felt deep down that I was fooling myself or allowing the world to fool me.

Letting go of the Confused Mind.

Now I was able to see how I had deprived myself by allowing my mind to buy into this "fire in hell" concept claimed by the world, and the devil below. There is no such thing.

A Course in Miracles states that, "Consciousness, the level of perception, was the first split introduced into the mind after the separation, making the mind a perceiver rather than a creator.".

Next, all of a sudden, the moon and stars grew so bright with light that my eyes blurred, watery with tears.

As I raised my hands to wipe them, I realized everything had reappeared as if nothing had ever happened. I was sitting there, cross-legged, with all my body parts, and inside the jail cell.

What I experienced was not a dream and was real, however so brief-- maybe an instant.

Time seemed to have suspended itself, so it didn't matter how long the experience lasted. I looked up to see the tray of food was still there.

The guard had not yet picked it up.

You, as well as others, have had similar type experiences about how to find peace within yourself, perhaps only to quickly dismiss them as a daydream or your imagination running away. Who knows how real your own experiences might have been?

One thing for sure that we do know, though, is that the world is always at our side, ready and vigilant to quickly dismiss them as fantasy or delusion.

To tapping into your true reality within you!

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Thou Shall Not Steal - How Are You Stealing From Yourself?

Last week at the end of one of my yoga classes, we had an unusually invigorating conversation about the Ten Commandments, focusing mostly on "thou shalt not steal." Webster's defines the word "steal" as to take the property of another without right or permission. The word "another" is defined as one of an undetermined number of the group. Using the Webster's definitions allows you to take this commandment much further than stealing the property of others.

Most people in a civilized society are morally opposed to taking the property of others without expressed permission. We have even gone as far as to put hundreds of ordinances and laws on the books of our justice system in order to protect our society from this activity. But what have we done to stop us from stealing from the most important person in our lives, ourselves?

In order to answer this question, we must first list the ways in which we steal or deprive ourselves. We steal our health by refusing to eat healthy well-balanced meals, not drinking enough water, overindulging in alcohol or other stimulants, ignoring our body's requirement for sufficient rest and not exercising our bodies daily. We constantly allow our words to damage our health by having "organ recitals" with our friends and neighbors testifying to our failing health and aching muscles. With zeal, we declare the poor condition of our health by repeating over and over, "I do not feel well or I feel like I am catching something."

We steal our peace of mind by not meditating or relaxing daily or more often if your mind requires it, believing that it is our responsibility to solve the problems of our love ones and participating in gossip.

We steal our prosperity by continually speaking untrue statements such as I am broke, I do not have any money, I cannot afford it, some people have all the luck, other folks have all the fun. Our spoken word is one of the most powerful creative tools we have. Every time we consistently make statements regarding our wealth or lack of, we are sending commands into the Universe that have no choice but to create the very thing we spoke of. The Law of Attraction and the Cause and Effect guarantee that what we send out will return to us. Genesis states that our word will not return to us void. Our actions also determine our experiences. When we neglect to do our very best, we send a message to the universe that we expect in return less than the best.

In what ways are you stealing from yourself? What messages are you sending?

This week spend some time thinking about the instances you steal from yourself. List them and start to eliminate them one at a time. I have recommitted myself to watching my words and guarding my though

ts. I was surprised at the number of time I could see myself in the examples.

Dream Big. Life the life you've imagined.

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How To Enjoy Peace Of Mind And Get Over Depression And Anxiety

Undoubtedly, the person on the other side of the door is angry and wants to some have peace of mind and quiet. This kind of way to find peace of mind is superficial, one that is unreal and obvious.

There's another way to have peace of mind the majority of people aspire for. It's a calm conscious mind.

Being angry and disturbed and unable to have peace of mind will keep you awake night after night.

The longer this persists, the more comprehensive the damages will end up being.

It can lead to searching how to get over depression and other anxiety related issues.

To Have Peace of Mind

All of this unfavorable thinking pollutes the mind needlessly. Empty your mind of all these unfavorable habits and begin to have peace of mind in daily life.

Don't leave your mind vacant for long to avoid it from leaning back to the unfavorable side.

The Course in Miracles states, "Hear not its madness, and believe not the impossible is true."

Keep on letting go of all unfavorable thoughts by emptying them from your mind, and have peace of mind with favorable and motivating ideas.

By repeating this procedure, you are practicing excellent habits aimed at keeping your mind devoid of unfavorable thoughts and full of positive vibrations to have and accomplish peace of mind.

The Course in Miracles further teaches that,"Inner peace is the Will of God."

Try imagining peaceful scenes in your mind. You can initially visualize in your mind a beach being battered by tropical stormy weather conditions.

Everything seems to be disorderly, similar to a distressed mind.

A troubled mind resembles a storm in your mind. Aim to construct a strong structure of positive attitudes so that when another storm hits your mind, you're prepared to face it.

This is how your state of mind should be, peaceful so that it can be used to have peace of mind in daily life.

You can likewise join group talks where the discussion is centered on how to find peace of mind in harmony with love, peace, and joy.

When you say, "I Want Peace of Mind."

If you prefer to be on your own, moments of silence can help you have peace of mind.

Pick up books on finding peace of mind that recommend comfort and you may have the ability to discover other means to acquire your objective.

By repeating this process, you are practicing the habits of successful people, and keeping your mind totally free of unfavorable ideas and full of positive vibrations to attain peace of mind.

Remember a struggling mind is like a storm in your mind.

To peace of mind in daily life!

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Letting Them Off The Hook

Do your relationships resemble a stormy weather forecast? The chief cause of this is an expectation of behavior that is beyond what another person performs on. The reasons range from the simple things like picking up socks to the most emotional like not spending enough time together, being excluded from important choices or simply feeling left out and unloved. All of these are about behavior that was expected but not lived up to. People are on the hook for failing to deliver.

Who is at fault; the one with high expectations or the one who does not live up to them? This is the great debate that occurs in marriage and group counseling. There is a deficit here and it must be assigned to a column, yours or theirs. The great debate continues as we make our case and demand things change. Many times, they never do, and never will.

In our effort to understand the behavior of a loved one or friend we list all the reasons we are right and they are wrong. The person making the list rarely understands why there is a debate. They are right. When it is presented to the offender as 'evidence' the response is never satisfying. The most typical response is simply, 'I don't know.' 'I don't understand' is more accurate. Both are frustrating. Does this mean they simply don't care enough to change their behavior?

If you carefully consider the facts and determine that there really is a lack of emotional commitment the solution is easy and obvious; walk away. That is not usually the cause, thankfully. The person who responds by saying they don't know may really not know. They don't have a good understanding of the reason either. They also don't understand why things that seem trivial to them are important to you. You can ponder this, quarrel about it and maybe even survive a succession of separations in your quest to make them a better person. If you are seeking applause for your efforts it is likely to be an exercise in futility as is every effort that depends on other people's approval.

You can settle this in a different way by choosing to understand that what you are getting is as much as they are capable of giving. People are not all the same. Life experiences and exposure to events lend a great deal to our perception of life normal, including in relationships. For them what they give is sufficient, for you it will always be deficient. You can end this battle easily by simply accepting that they are incapable of delivering more and let them off the hook for the expected behavior that is not a part of whom they really are.

For real peace of mind make a list of every person who leaves you angry and feeling letdown and let them all off the hook. The only thing that changes is your level of expectations; peace of mind is the payoff!

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