Cooking As Therapy - How Cooking Can Help De-Stress

The simple act of cooking a meal for yourself or a group of people can have incredible restorative powers. It has long been said by people who enjoy rustling up a dish that they feel soothed by the nature of the cooking process. So what is it about cooking that can ease the mind and help someone feel less anxious?

Firstly, there is a lot to be said for taking a few moments to clear your mind when stressed. Cooking provides the perfect time for some well needed head space. In these busy times we can often find ourselves swept off our feet and can face daily stresses become overwhelming. Cooking provides an ideal stretch of time where you can focus on a task which is removed from whatever you may be worrying about.

The actual process of preparing vegetables, meats and other ingredients utilises a methodical part of your brain and allows you to detach from your worries in aid of completing a simple task. By spending time on a straightforward and uncomplicated project, such as cooking a meal, the brain can unwind. That is why many people find cooking a meal at the end of each day an excellent way to loosen up after a restless work day.

It can also be very rewarding to cook and create a meal for yourself and especially for others. It is well known that some individuals feel a sense of achievement and warmth when providing for others. By catering for family members, or just one's partner, the individual can gleam a huge sense of self-worth and happiness. Self-worth is invaluable as a means of therapy for stress. After a stressful day, being able to feel that it was worth waking up for that day is incredibly important. The self-worth one can feel from providing for others and also fulfilling them is imperative to why a lot of happy cooks enjoy the art of creating a meal. This sense of reward is another way to point to the sense of therapy that cooking can bring.

In addition, the act of successfully creating something at the end of a hard day can be very rewarding. To easily and honestly create a meal is one of the simplest rewards our lifestyle can warrant. If a person has had a very stressful day and feels that they have not achieved a lot at work, being able to come home and pull together a meal can feel like a great accomplishment.

Overall, the simple ability to take some head space and put your mind to creating a meal at the end of the day can soothe the stresses of the day. It allows for us to step back and provide something of worth when you may have felt that your day was wasted.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Cooking-As-Therapy---How-Cooking-Can-Help-De-Stress&id=9625353

Trauma and Unworthiness: How to Work with the Shutdown Response to Trauma

Born to Be a Ten

Have you ever wondered what you think about who you are? So many of us have been taught that our entire self-worth is based on accomplishment and our value in life is due to the contributions we make to society. When we do well we are awesome; when that doesn't happen we are losers?

Is it any wonder an executive with a college education working in a high- rise building making a six- figure income feels like he is on top of the world and a homeless man who does not know where his next meal will come from is viewed by many as being worthless? Is our human value so tied into our accomplishments that when you fail to achieve you are considered a failure?

This mentality of "self-worth based on accomplishment". In the movie "Trading Places" with Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy Dan plays a rich Wall Street Investment Specialist working on wall street and enjoying the best money can offer. A nice place to live, nice clothes, great job and society friends. His self-esteem is centered around his job and work accomplishments. Eddie Murphy plays a broke street hustler who is out there every day trying to find his next patsy for one of his schemes.

Their roles are reversed, and Eddie becomes the Wall Street hotshot and has all the advantages Dan once enjoyed. Meanwhile Dan is reduced to be a street bum and when he tries to reach out to people in his past life for help he finds that once he has lost his position and status at work he is no longer welcome in their world.

The movie depicts how tied into our roles we have all be conditioned to. Parents may ask children questions like "how did you so on your test at school today or did you make the basketball team" and the answers for the child dictate acceptance for succeeding or rejection for failure. Parents are not trying to make their children feel bad; they are just monitoring actions and results. This conditions children to associate accomplishment with achievement.

What if I told you that you are successful not because of what you do but because you are. You are a person with unlimited potential and endless opportunities to advance your dreams. You should do great things in your life, but you don't have to do great things to be a great person. When you were first born you were "fearfully and wonderfully made" and this entitles you to the benefits of being alive in this world. Being a success is not what you do; it's who you are.

On this journey to success keep in mind that success is not really a journey or a destination. Success is more a state of being. Create within your mind that you are already successful because you are here. All the world gets to see is an extension of what that success means.

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Self-Esteem and Your Relationship

Have you ever been in a relationship where everything seems so perfect, but then you just can't reach into agreement about certain things? You love each other, but entertaining and maintaining the relationship is a burden to both of you. Often times, you would think that these conflicts result from you misunderstanding and miscommunication, but what you don't realize that these conflicts stem from both of you-your own personal issues, your self-esteem.

Self-esteem plays an important role in the romantic bond that you have with another person. Most of the time, you will attract those that are similar to you.

In the same sense, if you have low self-esteem, you will attract those who also have low self-esteem. It can be very detrimental to your relationship. It brings about negative feelings and emotions to the relationship. It nurtures the feelings of insecurity, mistrust, misunderstandings, and lowers down your self-worth. These feelings can significantly affect your relationship which may also lead to break ups and separations. Usually, if you have low self-esteem, you will most likely engage in self-sabotaging behaviour that will cause you to feel worse about yourself and the situation that you are in.

However, people with high self-esteem will most likely attract those people with the same level of self-esteem. When relationship problems hit hard, if you have high level of self-esteem, you will look at it as a challenge and take in a different approach in solving it. You talk and try to understand each other; you will not force your beliefs into each other's throats. But you will listen to each other and try to reach a compromise; where in each of you has part of the bargain. You don't throw blames at each other, but instead have a sit-down, heart-to-heart talk and try to reach to the root cause of the problem.

Sometimes, a "mismatch of self-esteems" happens. This means that you and your partner have different level of self-esteem; you may have high self-esteem and your partner has low, or vice versa. This kind of relationship also has significant effects to your relationships ranging from negative to positive. The person with low self-esteem will most likely engage in self-sabotaging behaviours and increased self-doubt when his/her partner talks about his achievements, adventures of the day or the number of opposite sex friends he/she has. These can nurture jealousy to the partner and might lead to break up.

Although these differences post risks in the relationship, this type of mismatch, above anything else, also have a "harmonizing effect" to the relationship. You and your partner will complement each other. You and your partner will be filling up what the other is missing. You are actually helping each other to become whole and realize the cliché "you complete me". Often times, the person with low self-esteem would adapt the behaviour of the one with high self-esteem thereby increasing his/her self-esteem as well. This then leads to a better and happier relationship.

At the end of the day, you have to be self-aware of where you and your partner are in the self-esteem spectrum as knowing where you stand can help you improve yourselves and your relationship-be in a more peaceful and happy one.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Self-Esteem-and-Your-Relationship&id=9611346

Who Draws the Line?

The lines we draw in life are really barricades we erect to establish acceptable behavior with the people we interact with. One of the most obvious ways to recognize people whose life is off-balance is to observe where they erect these barriers. Many have none at all. Barriers are like road warning signs to prevent traffic from entering areas that may be dangerous or deadly. The lines we draw in life serve the same purpose. They can be vital to our existence.

The people you surround yourself with, those who are 'in your loop' represent where you drew lines in the past. The story about who you have become is revealed by a close observation of who is in your life today. You surround yourself with people who are what you see yourself as becoming. As the same as the old adage says, 'birds of a feather flock together'; you will be judged by the company you keep. Your comfort zone tells the story about who you are and plan to become.

If you find yourself accepting behavior today that was unacceptable before, your line has been moved by you or through your acceptance of bad behavior. A spouse or partner who has a new bad habit, a child who has become a stranger, a friend who speaks disparagingly about you or your family or the multitude of things that you observe and know were unacceptable before are good examples of how your lines or barriers have been relocated. When you notice these changes in the people around you and realize you are no longer offended or bothered by them it is time to examine what changed, and why.

If the reason is because you have new information or have discovered an underlying cause that is acceptable your barriers were moved to accommodate a cause you believe is in your best interest. It takes a miracle to change the mind of any human, or a crushing blow one believes they cannot change or recover from. If the reasons you identify fall more into the category of a blow to you or your self-worth it is time to drag them back into place, recover your values and polish your self-image mirror. These kinds of things render those warning signs as life-preserving.

It is never OK to accept the unacceptable if you are trading off your own values to allow another person or situation to use you for their private doormat or whipping boy. The company of no other person is worth accepting less than you should demand for yourself. People who genuinely care will never ask this of you. If you become confused about the cause, examine the content of the requests. Would it be embarrassing to share with someone who you have no doubt about cares for you? Is it in your best interest to re-draw the lines? If the answer is no you are better served to cut ties than move lines.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Who-Draws-the-Line?&id=9930148

Why People Always Treat You According To The Way You Unconsciously Treat Yourself

Find Peace Within Yourself

Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you will ever foster in your life.

I don't mean to underscore other relationships, yet it all starts and ends with you.

Everyone wants to be liked and accepted. It is human nature to fit in and integrate.

If you act unconsciously without being mindful of your intentions, you are carrying out unconscious commands.

If you haven't reconciled these thoughts, they are likely to dictate your life. If you set a software program to run at a particular time of day, it will continue to do so until you override the function.

You are the user of your thoughts.

If you are not receiving the love and respect you deserve, I encourage you to look inwards and heal those thoughts not in alignment with the relationships you want to attract.

Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len is a Hawaiian psychologist who used an ancient Hawaiian method called Ho'oponopono, based on reconciliation and forgiveness to heal an entire ward of criminally insane patients.

He did this without meeting them or being in the same room as them, but by repeating the mantra: "I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you."

That is, he healed himself first. The premise is that when he reconciled and forgave parts of himself, the entire ward of patients healed.

Whilst I acknowledge this might sound farfetched, I've read many books, articles and watched countless footage of this practice and seen how powerful it is.

The point I wish to emphasise is, when you find peace within yourself, outside circumstances will reflect that.

Have you met people consumed by their victimhood and believe their relationship problems stem from being treated badly?

One needs only tune in to reality TV and within minutes you'll overhear conversations of people being undermined.

Place A Value On Your Self-Worth

To draw a simple analogy. Consider a sharp stone lodged in your shoe while you walk around consumed by the pain. No matter who you meet, whether or not they are pleasant, your focus is drawn to the pain, not your interactions with them.

By removing the stone, you realise how it was blemishing your interactions with people. The pain affected your relationship with them because it made it difficult to be fully present and engaged.

This is what many people do.

They are unaware of carrying unresolved emotional baggage and use it as a shield to defend themselves. Yet, the shield does little to protect them but discolour their interaction with others.

Author Matt Kahn explains in Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution That Begins With You that we must develop self-honesty before we can become aware of how we want others to treat us: "Before you can be honest in the presence of another, it is essential to learn how to be honest with yourself. This requires a courageous depth of integrity to become aware of how you want others to treat you, so that you can be that way for others whether or not they're able to do so in return for you."

I often repeat this message in seminars and when coaching clients. I don't take credit for it and believe it was the late Dr. Wayne Dyer who first coined the phrase. I only remind people of its power: "You constantly coach people how to treat you."

It means: if you allow others to treat you unfairly, it signifies on an unconscious level that you feel unworthy.

Whilst you realise it is unacceptable, you feel vindictive because you didn't stand up for yourself. You might blame the other person for treating you wrongly and they may have done so.

However, a person with a strong self-worth recognises the behaviour as unjust and respectfully disallows it.

Being assertive does not involve being mean spirited, it means valuing your self-worth and upholding this as a reminder to others.

The key is to recognise deceitful behaviour and not allow others to treat you dishonestly. This happens when you maintain a healthy relationship with yourself by placing value on your self-worth.

Matt Kahn says treating others with respect because of their inability to treat you well has more to do with the relationship they have with themselves: "In the heart of surrender, treating people far better than they treat you becomes an acceptable way to live, especially because their inability to treat you well has nothing to do with you, but reflects the kind of relationship they have with themselves."

What You Become Is Reflected In Your Destiny

Nowadays, I appreciate the congruence of a person's word and their actions. I assess people by their deeds and will give them the benefit of the doubt on more than one occasion.

However, if they undermine my faith, I'm likely to walk away from the relationship, irrespective of whether I aim to profit from it, financially or otherwise.

I hold no hostile relationships with people because I make it my intention to treat others as I would treat myself. And because I treat myself in high esteem, I foster this behaviour in all my relationships.

You see it comes down to values.

You must be purposeful about what you value in your life. I'm not talking about a career, relationships or life purpose but the values you live by.

"Although all values are considered worthy and important to most people, values vary in how important they are to each person. The more important a value is, the more likely people are to act in ways that allow them to express it and attain the goals underlying it," write authors Sonia Roccas and Lilach Sagiv in Values and Behavior: Taking a Cross Cultural Perspective.

What code of conduct do you abide by?

Is it: loyalty, trust, respect or moral character?

What you uphold is what you become and what you become is reflected in your destiny. You are continually writing the script of your future via your thoughts and actions, irrespective of your awareness.

If you would like others to treat you better, firstly examine any unresolved conflicts within yourself.

"The catalyst of rejection is life's way of reminding you how other people are not always created to treat you better than you treat yourself," affirms Matt Kahn.

Self-enquiry and journaling are powerful methods to help you heal unresolved conflicts, so is working with a trained therapist.

To make peace and transform your unconscious thoughts means to develop a wholesome relationship with yourself. Your interactions and relationships become more relatable instead of hostile.

You are no longer at war with yourself and this is mirrored in your relationships.

Release and renew is a mantra I have emphasised in recent articles.

To change the foundations of your life, let go of the old and tired and create the ideal conditions for the life you wish to merge into.

After all, people treat you according to the way you unconsciously treat yourself.

As leadership expert John C. Maxwell writes in Your Road Map For Success: You Can Get There from Here: "If you want others to treat you more kindly, you must develop better people skills. There is no sure way to make other people in your environment improve."

It is by making the unconscious conscious that you come to develop healthy relationships that originate from your authentic self.

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What Is Wrong With Me? Healing From Toxic Shame

Lapses in confidence are common, but when we are left feeling like we have somehow fallen short regardless of our accomplishments, it might be time to look a bit deeper to find out what might be driving this feeling.

I remember a client of mine several years back asking, "How do I love myself? What does that even mean?" For someone who has been well initiated into shame, self-love is so far beyond their comprehension that it is like describing a different universe.

We develop shame through life experiences, social conditioning, and cultural indoctrination. In short, we believe we are bad because we had experiences where people made us feel that way-overtly or covertly. These experiences are most impactful in our childhood when we are much more easily conditioned. However, the right combination of experiences at any point in life can leave us believing in our worthlessness.

Shame is complex and can be difficult to take apart. Understanding how and why it develops can give us a bit of insight.

Children learn to regulate their behaviors by developing an emotional "clutch," located in the prefrontal cortex, that can turn the accelerator off when the brakes are applied and redirect their interest in more acceptable directions... An activated accelerator followed by the application of brakes leads to a nervous system response with a turning away of eye gaze, a feeling of heaviness in the chest, and a sinking feeling. (Dan Siegel and Mary Hartzell)

This internal mechanism helps the child learn how to get along well with others and regulate their behavior in a way that is socially compatible. This happens in a very healthy way if, along with the child's instinctual "braking," there is love and connection offered from the outside. If, on the other hand, love and connection are withdrawn, then the child will have a different interpretation of the events.

This does not happen after one episode. When the experience is repeated, and the more it is repeated, the child comes to believe that there is something wrong with them. They will come to believe that what is wrong with them is either something someone told them in conjunction with these events or a seemingly random problem they might have found in their environment.

One of the simplest ways to heal ourselves is to reverse the process that we experienced. In other words, if we lost love and connection when we had a shame reaction, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to connect and feel love when we start experiencing shame.

This is easier said than done, but each time that you can choose this, it will help you to feel less chronic shame, and through that, strengthen your sense of self-worth.

When trying to reconnect and heal from toxic shame, there are some important things to consider.

Is this person safe?

Are they capable of supporting me?

Do I know what will help me?

Do I have a back-up plan?

Is this person safe? Not all people are capable of meeting you as you try to connect and come out of shame. If you are not sure about your personal relationship, it may be helpful to first do this work with a professional to ensure the maximum safety for yourself. Even when working with a professional, try establishing the relationship's security before sharing highly sensitive material.

Are they capable of supporting me? Someone may love you a lot and be very trustworthy but lack the ability to show up in the way that you need during this vulnerable time. Sometimes, you will not know if someone is capable of supporting you until after you have tried. That is totally fine. However, if someone has proven themselves unable to show up in the way you need, you will be better off waiting to share with them until you have shed some layers of shame.

Do I know what will help me? Very often, the answer to this question is no. However, it is still worth thinking about and finding some answers to. When you know what you need, it is that much easier to get it for yourself. We often learn this by getting what we do not need and then using a process of elimination to learn what works best for us.

Do I have a back-up plan? Crossing this divide can seem really risky. There are reasons that you decided to hide rather than connect. Not every attempt is going to be met with success. In fact, your defense mechanisms might make it impossible to feel successful even if many successful features are present. Taking good care of yourself means knowing where you can go or how you can take care of yourself if your situation ends up being less than optimal. In time, as you grow in this skill, it becomes less necessary as the whole process will become easier.

It is helpful to keep in mind that the vast majority of people deal with some kind of shame that holds them back or shuts them down. You are not alone, and your bravery not only paves the way for your own expanded life, but also helps others heal from their shame.

https://ezinearticles.com/?What-Is-Wrong-With-Me?-Healing-From-Toxic-Shame&id=10026569

Feel Better About Yourself: 7 Habits to Increase Self-Worth

Here are seven areas that you can work on each day that will help you realize and increase your self-worth.

1. Self Talk

What are some of the things that you're saying to yourself?

Take time to think about those thoughts that come up and don't judge yourself for having those thoughts.

Just realize that those thoughts are yours and you're having them at the moment. If you have unkind thoughts about yourself or about who you are, ask yourself if you would talk to somebody else like that.

If not, then take time to find how you would talk to yourself in regard to those items.

Would you look at somebody and say, "You really suck at cooking?" Of course not, but you might say, "Hey, would you be interested in taking a cooking class with me?"

In this way, instead of noting the negative you are creating an opportunity for the positive to flow into your life.

Don't tell yourself you're fat - ask yourself if you'd be willing to walk a little bit further by parking at the back-end of the parking lot instead of next to the door.

It is all about taking small steps for great change!

2. Support Network

Boosting your self worth is much easier when you find people who are supportive of who you are and what you're doing.

Don't be afraid to decline invitations to events that may pull you back down or hold you back from becoming your greatest self.

When you turn down invites to events to hang out with people who would hold you back you are opening up the doors to let in people and events that will help you grow.

Find make time for activities that bring you more joy in your life and allow you to feel more fulfilled.

3. Appreciate Yourself

Have you ever thought about what others appreciate in you have you taken the time to ask them?

Simply Having a kind word from someone who we love can go a long way we trust that person for good reason it's because we value their insights.

Sometimes having their perspective will shed light on some of the unique qualities that we are not aware about.

Take time today and ask a close friend or a family member one thing they appreciate about you. Then make sure to grab your journal and write down their words.

There are times when you can go back and read those words for an extra boost to lift you up and make you feel better.

4.Emotional Triggers

Triggers are the things that make you go boom emotionally. What are the triggers in your life?

Are there words, decisions, comments, or actions that cause you to emotionally go off?

If you can learn why you're triggered to respond you will begin to understand yourself in a better way.

This will help you to know what it is that needs healing within your heart.

5. Switch Your Focus

Focus on kindness to find more self-worth in you.

When you began helping others it will help you to see your own worth.

It's hard to think you don't have value if you are able to add value to another's lives.

So instead of focusing on all the things that are wrong with you, begin to focus on how can I serve others what can you give back to your community and family.

Kindness is a high-value trait and cultures all across the world. When we develop a heart and a mind of kindness our self-worth and our Worth to the world will increase.

6. Gratitude

Practicing gratitude is an amazing opportunity to grow our self worth.

When we appreciate qualities that make us each beautiful and unique, we turn our focus to the good that is within us every day.

Finding self-worth is easier when we realize that we are not the only one who is struggling.

Take time to write a few things each day that you appreciate about your self on the inside.

I want you to write down the things that are unique to just your last 24 hours. When you approach it on a 24-hour rule, you will not be sucked into the habit of writing down the same thing each day.

7. Acknowledge Struggles

Taking the time each day to realize that you are not struggling alone. It will give you greater clarity about your place in the world.

It is not about saying,"I'm not as bad as the other person," or, "My life isn't as hard as theirs". It is about acknowledging did we are not alone in this world and we all have a place.

It is about knowing and what we are going through it's not something that has never been survived.

There is growth in our struggles. Therefore the more we struggle, the more we grow.The more we grow, the greater our value. The more value we have, the more we can offer the world.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Feel-Better-About-Yourself:-7-Habits-to-Increase-Self-Worth&id=10190386

How To Love And Nurture Your Neglected Self

 Opportunities To Love And Nurture Our Neglected Self

What is the relationship you have with yourself? Are you aware of your inner dialogue related with your self-worth? How do you treat yourself when you're angry, fearful or sad? How we relate to ourselves during our darkest moments shows what type of relationship we with ourselves. Everyone experiences positive emotions when things are going right, but what about when life isn't going according to plan? These are opportunities to love and nurture our neglected self because the disowned self is the one we must come home to. What do I mean by coming home to ourselves? It means creating a place to honour our emotions, especially the difficult ones which call for our attention.

Many people run away from their negative emotions, and I used to be one of them. Besides, who wants to experience negative states regularly? We want to feel alive and happy and negative emotions don't fit into that plan. Or do they? Negative emotions serve a purpose and we mustn't run away from them but deal with them with openness and compassion. Because they are important messengers and running away delays our emotional well-being. Think about the negative emotions you experience from time to time? How do you process them? Do you journal how you feel and notice what they're trying to tell you?

Consider the following scenario as an example of why we must love and nurture our neglected self. Your boss constantly criticises you on your work performance, and you feel a sense of: sadness, frustration and anger. Over time, you bottle these emotions because they remind you of the disparaging comments from your boss. But what if there's an underlying message contained within these emotions? Perhaps by connecting with them on a deeper level, you learn not to take the criticism personally but improve respective areas of your work thus leading to a promotion.

Make Room For Negative Emotions

Emotions are transitory events that come and go from our nervous system, hundreds of times a day. Most people are not mindful of them because there's so much going on inside their heads. That is why we should listen to what is taking place beneath the surface of our lives, otherwise we will succumb to the negative emotions like a tsunami. Connecting with our emotional life means checking in with ourselves to see how we're doing. It means stopping, feeling and listening to what the emotions are trying to convey. A practice I undertake when anger, frustration or fear emerges is to stop what I'm doing and place my hands on my heart to observe my emotions. I sit and feel them, no matter how difficult or uncomfortable they are. I know these emotions will pass, and my job is to connect with them through an embodied experience.

An embodied experience means to somatically perceive through our nervous system, the emotion/s without deferring them. Many people distract themselves via: drinking, drugs, food, shopping, etc. when negative emotions surface. But eventually the emotion will seep through and grab our attention, when we least expect it. Our emotions are our soul's calling card. They don't have an agenda other than to communicate the essence of our true selves. They help us to make sense of life, so we can live in congruency with our authentic self. For example, if you're not receiving adequate love and affection from your partner, your emotions will tell you something isn't right. Some people try to rationalise it by telling themselves their partner is busy at work or has a lot on their plate. But our emotions don't lie because they are the foundation of our intuition, if we care to listen. Perhaps we're afraid to tell our partner we need more intimacy in the relationship? We might fear putting our demands on them will make them think we're being demanding and so we hold back.

Have you experienced something like this before? It might start out as a gut feeling that grows and turns into confrontation because you haven't communicated yourself properly. Therefore, we must love and nurture our neglected self because it is the part of us we need to come home to. The neglected self is the comfortable sofa we lay our weary body after a long day at work. It is the comfy pyjamas we wear on a cold winter's day. But like all emotions, we must also make room for negative emotions and process them with openness. The key is to be with your emotions and feel them in your body. Simply, stop what you're doing, and breathe into that area until the emotion dissolves or transforms.

I did this exercise recently after experiencing anger and tension from a busy day that didn't go as planned. I was sitting down late one evening, looking forward to reading, and was repeatedly interrupted, which led to anger and stress. I remember a thought entering my mind that said: "I don't have time for this right now." In the next moment, I dropped what I was doing and breathed deeply for three or four minutes, whilst moving my awareness to my chest where the anger was situated. What took place moments later was the most exquisite love I have experienced. Its presence was reassuring and comforting and I didn't want to return to what I was doing. I've since experienced many more moments like this because what I learned is that on the other side of our negative emotions is a pure and abiding love that beckons us to come home to. It is this love we must nurture often, instead of neglecting coming home to our true self.

https://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Love-And-Nurture-Your-Neglected-Self&id=10257218

Know Your Worth And Value

Self-respect may be the most valuable personal asset you have. Or should have.

For too many years I let my fear of punishment, or my concept of being a good sport or a professional, keep me from realizing my full potential. Too often I didn't follow the path I knew to be right because of some misunderstanding of my role in the situation.

My parents did the best they could in raising me and teaching me to be a wonderful human. I knew right from wrong. I knew how to be generous. I understood the importance of commitment and honor. I didn't know my self-worth.

When you know your self-worth you set boundaries with others, you do your best because you are deserving of quality, and you set boundaries for yourself so you live your fullest potential.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Do you cancel your date when your boss asks you to stay late to work on a project that could probably be done tomorrow? Do you avoid applying for a new position because your present job department relies on you so much that you can't leave them in the lurch? Do you eat another helping of lasagna, or have another drink, when the hostess urges you to, even when you are too full to enjoy it, because you don't want to seem rude?

Those actions reflect your low level of self-esteem, your concept of self-worth.

You aren't a hero when you put others before yourself. You aren't doing anyone a favor when you put yourself last.

Years ago I had a neighbor who lived under the delusion she alone had to care for her ailing husband and Down Syndrome sister, regardless. One winter she caught a cold which wouldn't go away, but she didn't stop to tend to it. It turned to pneumonia, and she still pressed on - she had to, her family depended on her. A lot of good it did her husband and sister when she died out of a false sense of responsibility.

If that neighbor had truly known her self-worth she would have handled the situation differently so that she could heal and be around for her family for years to come. She could have gotten someone else to step in and help with her husband and sister. Her lack of knowing her self-worth contributed to her demise, and ultimately her husband's and sister's.

OK, maybe that's an extreme example. But, maybe it's not pointed enough. Are you killing yourself for others?

The more self-respect you have the more you can shine, the more you can do with your life, and the more you can give to the world. You give to the world one way or another, so take control and give it your best!

Knowing your worth impacts your confidence and energy, and that snowballs to impact your influence, productivity, and focus. With strong self-esteem you live a life of purpose and direction, you are a positive role model and make a positive contribution to the world, and you enjoy all that your life has to offer.

Possessing the valuable asset of self-respect, you make the world a better place, starting with yourself.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Know-Your-Worth-And-Value&id=9498148

Find Out How Much You're WORTH

Welcome! Thank you for being here. I hope you're excited because I am! My intention is to inspire you, to get your vibration of energy to rise and for you to be focused on your goals and the things that you want to accomplish. We have the power to create our lives by design and that's what we're doing here so that you can have a very successful week. It's all about your mindset and manifesting your dreams!

Today we're going to be reviewing the Law Of Compensation

What does the word "compensation" mean to you?

For me compensation means getting rewarded for what I did or what I said or the value that I added.

It can also be described as: "A reward for my efforts." That's exactly what I understand for compensation. Also "Getting what you are owed." Absolutely. That means putting an effort or providing a service or product in order for you to get compensated and get paid what you're worth or what you're owed.

There Are Three Key Elements For Compensation:

1. Self Worth

It comes down to worthiness. What you believe you're worthy is what you're going to compensate yourself with, what others are going to compensate you with. Which, I'm going to call it in this case, your Self Image.

How do you feel you're getting compensated?

Whether it's your job, your career, your life purpose or whatever it is that you do every day, how do you feel you're getting compensated? - Please take a second to close your eyes, check within and ask yourself the following questions:

How do you get compensated?

Do you believe that you're getting compensated fairly?

Do you think it's fair what you get for compensation in extent of what you do?

Do you think you're getting compensated poorly? Or do you think you're getting compensated abundantly?

Whatever the answer is for you... then that is your self image. That's what you see yourself that you're worth. This is really important because it starts with how you see yourself on the inside.

Imagine that for a second you're outside of the jar, and you're looking into yourself. How do you see yourself? Do you see yourself like you do a fantastic job? Do you see yourself like, "Uh, I don't really have anything to teach. I don't really have anything to add value with." Then, guess what? That's probably why you're getting compensated poorly. The self image, that image you hold of yourself is very low and that has to do with your self worth.

If you're adding really good value, there is no reason why you shouldn't get compensated abundantly.

I believe I get compensated abundantly and that's because, first of all, I believe in the quality of what I do, which is adding value.

2. Adding Value:

The more value you add, the better you get compensated.

If you're adding little value, you're getting compensated very little. If you add a lot of value - and please do not confuse this with thinking that with the more hours I work, the more I'm going to get paid. That's just exchanging time and effort for money. I want you to contemplate in your brain for a second the possibility of, "How could I work less and get compensated more?" <= that's called LEVERAGE

Add more value every day by doing it with high quality standards

Adding more value doesn't mean working more hours. Getting more exhausted and sleeping less and all that. No. It just means adding more value but every day, doing it with quality, going the extra mile, with a smile.

If you're going to do something, even if you don't want to do it but you already committed to it, you might as well do it with quality. You might as well do it with the smile and with pleasure. Otherwise, what's the point?

3. Mastery:

The more you do it, the better quality it will be & the closer you are getting to mastery. You need to be a master at what you do. You don't need to juggle a million balls trying to be good at everything. No, You just need to be a master in one thing.

I don't go around teaching mindset and self esteem and confidence to cats and dogs and guys and girls, I just do it for ladies because that's what I'm good at. That's what I'm a work in progress of mastering. You just want to have a very small niche or area of expertise and become a master of it.

You want to keep doing it over and over again and always be thinking how can I be better at it? How can I improve? How can I add more value?

Ask yourself that question, "How can I add more value today?" This week. Ask the Universe out loud, "Universe, How can I add more value to humanity today?"

The more value you add, the better you're going to be compensated for it. Your level of compensation is going to get bigger and better. Do it over and over and do it better every time until you master that area of expertise.

Your Challenge for this week!

If you hold a poor Self Image of yourself like "I'm not good enough, why would anyone want to listen to me? What do I have to teach? I don't like the way I look. I hate my voice, why would I do this, why would I do that... " All that is a poor self image and low self esteem and low self worth and guess what? you're probably getting rewarded really poorly. You can make a decision to change that TODAY.

It's time to have a better self image. It's time to believe that you have a lot of value to add to humanity because you came here with a gift to share with the world. YOU are good enough and there are always people below you that can learn from you. If you're serving someone today, you're going to make an impact in their day if you do it with a smile, with a good attitude VS a long face. Why not commit to that today?

Let's make that your call to action for today. Anyone you talk to or serve today, commit to doing it with a smile. With excellence, with good attitude so that you get compensated better for it. It's really exciting when you think about it because it all starts with your self image.

That image you hold of yourself needs to improve. When it improves, you're going to start adding more value which is going to make you better at what you do to get to mastery.

I hope you're feeling inspired to add value today! I hope you're feeling inspired to do an assessment in what your self image is and why you're getting compensated low or fair or abundantly and there's always another level you can go up to. I hope you're feeling very inspired to become better at what you do so that you can get to mastery.

Please remember to have a fantastic week, go all out for the things you need to do to increase your level of compensation!

Until the next one,

Stay well and play full out!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Find-Out-How-Much-Youre-WORTH&id=9558251

Live Your Current Life With Purpose - Yesterday Is Gone, Listen to Your Internal Guidance

LIFE IS A SERIES OF EVENTS MEANT TO FACILITATE OUR LEARNING BY BROADENING OUR HORIZONS-AN OPPORTUNITY TO UPLIFT THE ENERGY WE CONTRIBUTE TO OUR SOCIETY OF PEOPLE WE MEET, KNOW OR LOVE.

Life is uncomplicated, it's humanity and the ingrained drama that diverts the energy away from the business of purposeful communication. Make a conscious choice to engage and experience expansion in your scope of thought in lieu of responding to triggers that ignite happiness, pain, bias or fear. Once I realized that in order to feel humble, I had to be humble and compassionate with myself first. In order to fully nurture another; I had to nurture myself, first, to be giving and selfless. I am in the process of learning how to give, forgive, and love myself more unconditionally; in order to be able to do the same thing for another. Otherwise, I will keep reacting instead of engaging with myself and my network of family, friends and business associates. I can speak candidly from a female perspective, we are ingrained at childhood to be humble, nurturing, giving and selfless, and that has not always worked out very well for me. I overcompensated, too humble, too kind, too trusting, too giving and almost completely selfless... I prefer balance in my giving/receiving- an energy exchange- if you want something for free, then you don't have respect or value an honest energy exchange.

Your self-loving characteristic will not delude you, if balanced, respected, filtered and if congruent with other ideologies, will formulate accuracy in your perception of truth and how it will lead you to open many doors for,that were once closed.

The uplifting spirit divinely designed us, enabling us to facilitate our own ability to express self-worth to oneself first, and then to ALL OTHERS... It's our responsibility to give FIRST to self, the proper respect, compassion and encouragement that we freely release to others.

Once we release all of the indoctrination, cultural fallacies, and pent-up frustration of hearing the words reverberate in our ears from family members, care takers and friends, then we can get on with the business of living a healthy, self-loving, autonomous life with less drama and more acts of healthier, organic thought processes. Our internal thoughts will evolve and enable conducive inner wisdom and spiritual growth to dominate our reality from deep within our subconscious mind, resonating into manifestations and outcomes that we choose to direct.

You are better equipped now, than you were last year, to block the words, songs or untruths, based on ego, that are dancing around in you head.

You should block these triggers with powerful truth,by focusing your attention on the reality of past victories, encourage self-love, let it guide you and sail you through the seas of life's oceans of emotion, that comes in waves of truth,untruths, perceptions and complications and finally victory!

Each individual must resonate with his or her own truth, showing respect and love for self first. Live your current life with focus meaningful intention and purpose; yesterday is gone, listen to your internal guidance and continue to the next phase of your life.

I enjoy learning from you and from others offering me knowledge continuously!

https://ezinearticles.com/?Live-Your-Current-Life-With-Purpose---Yesterday-Is-Gone,-Listen-to-Your-Internal-Guidance&id=9497584

Building Up Your Self-Esteem by Investing in Your Abilities and Self-Worth

Some are so confident about themselves that they can do anything they set their minds to. Others are less confident and require lessons in order to perform. There is, however, many who have no ability to see themselves as anything but a hanger-on. The latter will stride behind any good idea if it delivers a benefit. The former creates the ideas and the one in the middle learns to carry it out.

Shy people are not always good at pushing themselves forward, but that doesn't mean they are not confident in themselves. Some just hate to be noticed, others stumble over words, and still others think they are not good enough. Making a person who has these types of attitudes feel good about themselves is important.

How does one invest, then, in their own abilities if they have any of these drawbacks? Building up their self-esteem is the best place to start. Seeing oneself as successful will often open the way to better things. Ensuring yourself that you are as good as the next person and becoming positive about who you are will help.

The last thing one should so is beat yourself up over mistakes. Stop seeing yourself in this negative way. Everyone makes mistakes and some are a lot worse than yours. Put it into the past and look forward to the next step.

The next most important thing is to remove yourself from negative influences. If you don't feel comfortable in someone's presence, then don't go there. Do the things that make you happy and try always to smile, especially when in public.

Another major point is to help others. One of the great things for me is to give someone a lift from the bus-stop to the shopping centre if I am going that way. Making others happy and feeding them good cheer and laughter will come back in positive ways. But don't overdo it.

Make sure you surround yourself with positive people who can understand your ways, your moods, and who are supportive no matter what happens. Friends make your life worthwhile and good companions stand by you. Do these things and the investment in yourself will pay off and before long one is flying through the tough patches with ease.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Building-Up-Your-Self-Esteem-by-Investing-in-Your-Abilities-and-Self-Worth&id=9769209

The Basics of Self-Esteem

Our self esteem is something that we can control and change at any time. It is based upon our beliefs and attitudes that we have about ourselves. For example, "I AM GOOD ENOUGH despite my faults, insecurities and imperfections. Who I am is not defined by what I do, what I look like, how much I weigh, or how smart I am." It is about loving who we are and accepting ourselves unconditionally. It is allowing ourselves to be imperfect, to accept ourselves as we are, to take risks, to try new things and to "LET GO" of negative thinking, judgments and self-criticism. It is about facing our fears and knowing that regardless of the outcome we took a risk and faced a fear.

Improving our self-worth is about making our own decisions about how we want to use our free time, setting our own goals and making choices for ourselves. It is about knowing what we like and do not like and feeling comfortable saying it out loud to others without fear of rejection, ridicule or laughter. It is about knowing our strengths and weaknesses and being willing to work on areas that need improving, such as attitudes, friendships, school, or getting along with others better. It is having the COURAGE to be honest with ourselves and being open and willing to change in a positive direction.

Being around friends and people who love and appreciate us is another way to feel good about ourselves, which will raise our self-esteem. People who know our faults and like us just the same are good friends. It is also important to not take ourselves so seriously and to be able to laugh at ourselves. Good self-esteem is from knowing that we have succeeded at things in our life that we once thought were difficult and being able to empower ourselves to try new things.

Another important factor in improving our self-esteem is taking care of our bodies. When we feel good physically, we feel energetic and full of life. It is important to eat well, exercise regularly and dress neatly. It is also essential to get enough rest/sleep. When we are tired, hungry and restless we are more than likely to make mistakes and react in ways that are counterproductive for us. Thus not feel good about ourselves. In conclusion be open, willing and honest to see ourselves in a positive and loving manner. Make today the day to say "I matter and I am worth it."

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Basics-of-Self-Esteem&id=9654630

Vengeance: Does It Only Affect the Guilty?

Vengeance. One of the leading causes of mass destruction and a powerful, yet dangerous, anecdote to our pain. Yes, vengeance. We all sought it, yearned it, and possibly rubbed our hands together maniacally until we conjured a plan to get even at those we believe have wronged us. YOU THOUGHT YOU'D GET AWAY WITH IT, DIDN'T YOU? We mentally whisper in our wrongdoer's ear. THEY GOT WHAT THEY DESERVED! We say to ourselves, as fire finally leave our hearts. But, guess what? We may have gotten our sweet revenge but we didn't take into consideration an important factor in our triumph... the other victim! "Victim?" You ask? But, I AM the victim!" You exclaim. Yes, before your get-even-plan, but as soon as you do, it is highly possible someone else takes your place as victim. Let's take a look at this scenario, shall we?

My office manager, "Mr. Wrong", had been giving me hell for several years. It started out with me asking him if I had any chances for growth and the reply was always in my favor, but for years he would hire others for the same position I was pretty much begging him for, even though I had proven myself worthy many times before. Adding insult to injury, for years, the receptionist insisted on not showing up for work and out of six customer service reps. I was the only one required to cover her and was threatened to leave if I did not comply. My end-of-the-year salary was even threatened. On many occasions, I expressed this unfairness to Mr. Wrong, the vice president, and the C.E.O. of the company and was told, "you have a good receptionist's voice so we like to put you up there" or "well, we don't pay her for not being here anyway, so why should you care? Besides, her absences do not concern you." I even approached the receptionist in hopes that she had a conscious, but angry words were exchanged and there was no resolve.

But, a more disturbing matter persisted with Mr. Wrong when he started showing up at my cubicle every ten minutes, pretending he was using the copier or doing something else, meanwhile, I would catch him standing behind me, watching my computer. Unbeknownst to him, I could see him through the reflection of the glass and through the mirror that I strategically placed on my desk. This was an all-day, everyday event. When I made a complaint to the vice president she told me she was sure Mr. Wrong was not "stalking" me and that she questioned my credibility. I grew even more livid at this blatant disregard and found myself becoming isolated and always angry, believing there was no hope for me. I wallowed in self-pity and started thinking of one thing... VENGEANCE.

Plotting my revenge: I wasn't exactly sure how I would do it but I started coming up with ideas on how I would make Mr. Wrong pay for the emotional and mental distress he was inflicting upon me. One of these thoughts was to destroy as many files as I could and then quit the job, leaving whomever to deal with the months it would take to recover the work. In addition, I considered anonymously letting Mr. Wrong's wife know what kind of a person she married: a deliberate being that allowed drama to persist in the workplace. THIS WILL SHOW HIM, I told myself... but then my conscious kicked in and that changed everything.

Casualties of my wrath: Because I desperately wanted Mr. Wrong to PAY I did not consider who might be caught in my "wrathfire." It wouldn't be Mr. Wrong's files I would be destroying, but the client's files, who entrusted the hard-working employees of the company to render impeccable services to them. Not only that, the employees would have to all chip in to recover work that I destroyed, delaying their own work in the process. This probably wouldn't have affected Mr. Wrong as much as it would have affected the others and all because I couldn't let go of my anger towards him.

The Domino effect: Things could go awry rather quickly and whether or not someone deserves revenge is not the issue because usually the guilty aren't the only ones affected. Someone else usually falls prey to our wrath and then they'll want revenge from you! In 2.5 seconds we would have managed to go from being a victim to being the wrongdoer. And guess what? If you deserved to get revenge, they did too, didn't they? Take your time... I'll wait for your answer.

That 'Aha!' moment: I started really listening to other people's advice and took heed to what others saw in me that lead to my pain. Although it was clear to many that I was being treated unfairly, there was only one reason it prolonged. It was I who gave Mr. Wrong and everyone else the right amount of power to control me. There was something else. It was my lack of self-worth that initiated this anger which inevitably led to this unquenchable thirst to get even. I allowed people to play on my emotions and they greedily ate it up! Had I the confidence in myself, I would have started searching for other employment, leaving the intoxicating environment where I was consumed with negativity.

The resolution: Once I came to terms with the reality that I was causing my own distress I started doing a few things to benefit myself rather than avenge myself. Here are some of them:

• I started spending more time building my confidence instead of helping others break it down.

• I began focusing on the things that made me stand out positively, like my creative skills and talents, and worked on how to utilize them to achieve a high-paying career instead of settling for a low-paying job.

• I sent Mr. Wrong a stern, yet, respectful email telling him I did not appreciate how I was being treated and I wasn't standing for it any longer. I let him know that I was aware he was constantly creeping behind my desk and to direct his attention where it was needed. Slowly I began to notice he wasn't doing it anymore or at least I stopped noticing it as much.

• I started meditating and seeking spiritual guidance. Without it, I wouldn't find peace and freedom, nor the faith necessary to move forward.

• Finally, I decided on a date that I would quit; without the date, I would never move forward with this huge step in my life.

The conclusion: Inch by inch my anger lessened and vengeance was no longer my concern because I had gotten it without having to do anything to Mr. Wrong. The stupid look on his face when I disregarded his existence with my head held high was and still is priceless. I said nothing to him unless it was necessary, while still keeping the amount of respect for him that was required. There was absolutely no negative energy directed towards anyone in order for me to get even so no one got hurt. As for the receptionist, well, let's just say a new sheriff arrived to town who didn't exactly appreciate her incompetence. Within a couple of months of tolerating her, the "sheriff" let her know her services were no longer needed at the company.

Your turn: There are many ways to get even with someone without hurting them or yourself and here are a few things that can help you achieve this blissfully:

• Express yourself to the person you are at odds with. Sometimes, and I stress "sometimes," people honestly do not realize the misery they cause others.

• Be mindful of the people who might get caught in your crossfire. You might find that you'll take a different route and still find relief in a non-detrimental approach.

• Work on your emotions. Our emotions affect the way we respond to things and we can save ourselves, our rivals, and the innocent from unnecessary conflict.

Please note: I want to point out that there are, of course, many more serious situations that cause people to want revenge, but know that this will cause you more pain then you think because while your mind wants to get even your spirit only wants freedom and you rob your spirit of that in a vengeful state of mind. Know that you should seek a deeper level of guidance and healing that will help you get past it all. Nevertheless, there will be situations where all you have to do is shift a few things around and things will fall into place just famously without violent or anger-driven revenge. So, keep your head up. Keep fighting. Stay strong.

"They will pay. They always pay, whether you are around to know it or not. Good receives good. Bad receives bad; it is karma's way."

-THE BLACK STONE, by Tamika S. Thomas

https://ezinearticles.com/?Vengeance:-Does-It-Only-Affect-the-Guilty?&id=8813644

Why and How You Need To Be Creative

                   

  

If you suffer from stress and depression, you will be pleased to know that you can do something about it. You need to start by scheduling some relaxation time into your day and do something creative. Not only will you be relaxing, but also stimulating your mind and activating the more creative side of your brain.

Now many people are feeling the need to get back to the basics in order to improve the quality of their lives. A creative moment here and there might be just what you need to recharge your batteries, connect with your inner self and restore your soul. You may say, but I am too busy for this, but believe me, scheduling some time into each day or even week will be well worth your while.

For me, it is scrapbooking, but maybe for you it will be something different. There are many wonderful things to do out there, even if you don't have an artistic bone in your body. Other ideas include: Mosiac, Painting, Pottery, Decoupage, Needle Work or Embroidery, Knitting, Basket Weaving, Beading, Sugar Craft, Gilding, Crochet, Candle Making, Calligraphy, Flower Arranging, Quilling, Pewter... and so on. The list is endless, and you are guaranteed to find something that you will enjoy doing.

The benefits of crafting are endless, including enjoyment, social interaction - if you attend classes, stress relief, instant gratification and self-expression. You will develop your sense of self-worth, and give some value and meaning to your day. Your mind is forced to focus on something unique and nurturing and you can bring back your childlike wonder at colours, shapes and textures. Best of all you can escape to a world away from everyday responsibilities. You will be amazed at your own ability to create new things from scratch.

Here are some suggestions to keep you going when you feel uninspired or have little or no time for yourself:

Write with a different colour pen.

Draw a Flower.

Tie a colourful ribbon around your wrist and think creative thoughts every time you look at it.

Doodle!

Play your music really loudly.

Ask your best friend to come and bake some cookies with you.

Finger Paint!

Troll the internet for pictures to inspire you.

Replace plain buttons on your favourite top with funky or vintage buttons to create a new look.

Cover an old frame with felt to give it a new look.

Do ink blotting like when you were a child.

Colour in a picture.

Duct tape the ends of an old pool noodle together and make a wreath.

Go outside and observe the colour combinations used in nature.

Cut some strips of paper and paper weave them.

This is your life so do what you love, and do it often. And remember this: 'Crafting Forever, Housework Whenever.'

https://ezinearticles.com/?Why-and-How-You-Need-To-Be-Creative&id=8832929

Message From Universe: The Best Things in Life Are FREE

"The secret to getting rich is knowing that you already are and acting like it.

Do tell me, who manages your assets? And those gems! Are they real?

See you in Cannes, 

The Universe"

It's not just a feeling, it's also a belief. You need to believe that it will all work the way you anticipated or predicted. Put up some pictures of homes you would love to purchase, or exotic cars you would dream to you see your hands wrapped around the steering wheels. How about the Lamborghini Aventador or Ferrari F40 or Bugatti Veyron? Seems pretty appealing right? Even though you can't really take advantage of their full speed potential (speeding tickets galore), they look pretty good parked as well in your 8 cars garage. How do you feel now? Feels pretty darn amazing. All of this is possible if you really focus your energy into acting like it is happening and getting the chills that you are getting closer everyday to this incredible feeling of success. The most amazing part with all this is that you control the outcome of your feelings and belief. Many have self-worth or self esteem issues that their mind do not allow them to think wealth and success. They constantly put themselves down even before anyone else does. They do not give themselves credit for any of their accomplishments, which in return, create sense of doubt that they can do anything positive in their lives.

This process of thinking HAS to stop. NOW! You can let your own mind create these feeling of uncertainties and doubts. You can think whatever you want (it's FREE), dream as much as you want (it's FREE) and reach any or all of your goals as you possibly can. The world is yours.(With great powers comes great responsibilities)

Do whatever you want with it. You can control every aspect of your life. Do not wait for the perfect moment, or the perfect timing for all of the planets to align the right way for you to take action. Just look at Microsoft Operating System. Whenever they launch a new OS (Window 98, XP, Vista, Millennium, Windows 7, Windows 8), they all come with tons of glitches, issues, and they know all that. Do you think they wait for them to fix all of them prior to launching? Absolutely not. They market the OS as is and then deal with the numerous amount of calls for support and deal with fixing issues. But do you know the purpose of all that? Free TESTING on your part. You are buying the OS for 300 dollars, and offering FREE testing to all technical support so they can make a better product. Instead of Microsoft hiring tech people from India at 4 dollars per day, they can use American citizens for FREE and have them test the malfunctioning operating system. You feel like you are getting FREE support from Microsoft but the reality is that they are getting FREE testing from you PLUS having you to PAY them for that testing. So who are the winners here? You be the judge.

https://ezinearticles.com/?Message-From-Universe:-The-Best-Things-in-Life-Are-FREE&id=9598257

How To Embrace An Attitude Of 'Hell Yeah' With Everything You Do

How To Navigate Life

Given the many distractions that compete for our attention these days, it's not surprising people don't devote more time to what truly inspires them.

We have a habit of tuning out anything that is not urgent.

There was a time when a person was only contactable via a phone landline, with no answering machine.

Nowadays, I can reach you through email, text messaging, instant messaging, social media, and dare I say, call you on your mobile device. Yet, this has not improved our lives other than make us more available.

Being more available equates to having less time to focus on your priorities.

As a consequence, we say 'yes' to things that don't inspire us, but provide a sense of satisfaction of having undertaken the task.

What I'm proposing is that you adopt a hell yeah attitude towards tasks instead of, it will do for now.

The idea was first discussed by the American entrepreneur Derek Sivers. He outlined how he prefers to engage in pursuits he is passionate about, instead of those he's obligated to do.

"As we become more mature and enlightened adults, we come to realize that if an opportunity is presented to us and it does not gain a near 100-percent enthusiasm and commitment from us, then the reply must be a 100-percent no," affirms motivational author Brendon Burchard in his book The Motivation Manifesto.

What if you were to adopt a similar approach?

You may avoid doing so because saying 'no' to good enough projects, goals or relationships suffices to keep you motivated for the time being.

When you settle, you compromise your self-worth because you accept less than meaningful conditions. The basis is to move from being Parked to an mindset of hell yeah in everything you do.

Consider author Larry Weidel's perspective in Serial Winner: 5 Actions to Create Your Cycle of Success: "Winners know that if you don't figure out what you want, you'll get whatever life hands you."

Time Is A Precious Commodity

When you say 'no' to requests that are low priorities, you free up time to say 'yes' to areas that serve your highest good.

By embracing a hell yeah attitude, you focus attention on what really matters.

It's vital to explore your full potential because in those moments you experience deep flow states and awaken your greatest ability.

You may undertake meaningless tasks or commit to relationships that don't inspire you because you're fearful more opportunities will not show up later. So, you take what is available now, hoping it will occupy your time until something better comes along.

It's what you devote your time and attention to, that matters.

Time is a precious commodity which many people squander. Guard it with your life and choose opportunities that inspire you, rather than just being task-orientated.

"Position your daily actions so time is working for you instead of against you. Because time will either promote you or expose you," writes author Jeff Olson in The Slight Edge: Secret to a Successful Life.

Don't think you can get everything done because it's impossible. You are likely to wash over the activities without fully committing to the task.

The question arises, how will you know whether to undertake a project or say 'no'?

It's as simple as this: if you don't feel a spark of enthusiasm, it's unlikely you'll see it through to completion.

It is my experience, if something is difficult at the start and I'm lacking motivation, the idea will not succeed because I'm not bringing my whole self to it.

If you cannot say hell yeah, it's best say 'no'.

I assure you, adopting this frame of mind will yield success and you needn't buy into the fear more opportunities won't become available. In fact, more quality prospects will emerge since you are careful what you give your attention to.

You should say 'yes' to tasks that excite you, that you are passionate about and to which you're likely to bring your best work.

Manage Your Time

"Pareto points us in a very clear direction: the majority of what you want will come from the minority of what you do. Extraordinary results are disproportionately created by fewer actions than most realize," affirm authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan in The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results.

There is little room for negotiation and no grey area when you pursue a hell yeah way of life. You commit to the task or relationship or not at all, in which case you walk away.

Similarly, it pays to know which areas you are saying hell yeah to. It may pose a challenge to apply this approach to every facet of life because of competing interests.

For example, your partner may want to visit his/her favourite restaurant and you don't feel the same way. In this scenario, diplomacy prevails to maintain a healthy relationship.

Embracing a hell yeah outlook will change your approach to life, in so far as developing a laser-like focus while managing your time. You concentrate your attention on high value areas that lead to happiness and fulfilment, with a better chance of success.

Authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan remind us once again to choose what you give your attention to: "To achieve an extraordinary result you must choose what matters most and give it all the time it demands. This requires getting extremely out of balance in relation to all other work issues... "

Given the many events that compete for your attention, it's important to be discerning with your time.

You become inspired by your goals and projects, instead of expecting a situation will improve as you go along - it seldom does.

Larry Weidel reminds us to maintain our enthusiasm or risk it burning out: "When it comes to most of our ideas, our enthusiasm has a shelf life. We won't be inspired to go for it forever. If you can't decide what you're going to do with your energy and drive, it will peter out. Doubt will grow and overwhelm you."

Commit to life with passion and fervour, otherwise you will be pulled along by secondary tasks that are less desirable.

Life is too short and valuable to be pursuing goals that are not consistent with your greater self.

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