Showing posts with label negative. Show all posts
Showing posts with label negative. Show all posts

Grow a Beautiful Garden in Your Mind - Pluck the Negative, Plant the Positive

Bunch of Pink Tulips

Have you ever seen a garden that just takes your breath away? I love gardens that are filled with an array of beautiful flowers all vibrant and rich with color. Such beautiful gardens require much work. Gardeners are constantly weeding and seeding - plucking the weeds and nurturing the good seeds. Believe it or not, your mind is a garden. It is either full of beautiful thoughts and ideas or negative images and beliefs. Sometimes you may have a combination of the two. Whatever you have in your mind will make you a beautiful, vibrant, and emotionally healthy person OR a negative, unattractive, and unhappy individual.

Make it a daily habit to weed and seed your mind. A weed is a wild plant that grows in gardens or fields of crops and prevents the plants that you want from growing properly. In your mind, weeds are negative thoughts and beliefs that you have about yourself and your circumstances and they limit you, paralyze you, and hinder you from living the best life that you can and should be living. Just as a gardener has to pluck the weeds from her garden to keep it healthy for the beautiful flowers to thrive and grow, you must do the same with the weeds in your mind. What happens when you allow weeds to grow too long before plucking them? They suck up all of the nutrients from the flowers and sometimes cause them to wither and die.

Your mind is a garden. Every day you should pluck the weeds and plant good seeds. For every negative image or thought, replace it with two or more positive thoughts. If you have allowed too many weeds to grow in your mind, it may take some time. By daily weeding out the negative, it will become easier to replace and plant the positive. Before you know it, you will have a beautiful garden in your mind and it will reflect in everything you say and do.

Positive affirmations can help you develop a positive attitude in your life. What is an affirmation? An affirmation is a carefully formatted statement that should be repeated to one's self and written down frequently. For an affirmation to be effective, it needs to be present tense, positive, personal, and specific. It decreases the times that you will normally think "I can't" or I'm not statements. Instead, statements should be positive using, I am, I can, and I will. Your affirmation for today is:

"I am an amazing person. I can be the best at anything I set my mind to do. I will continue to grow a beautiful garden of positive thoughts in my mind".



http://ezinearticles.com/?Grow-a-Beautiful-Garden-in-Your-Mind---Pluck-the-Negative,-Plant-the-Positive&id=8504381

When You Are Consumed By Anger And Chaos, You Have Lost Your Way




Don't Stow Away The Anger

Anger and chaos cannot live in a peaceful mind because they oppose one another.

We believe anger is a toxic emotion because of the destruction it brings to people's lives. To the emotionally intelligent however, anger is just an emotion which does not dominate their mental landscape.

I used anger and chaos together in the title since they can leave you feeling lost in your thoughts and emotions.

Linda Graham MFT explains in Bouncing Back: Rewiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Well-Being: "Our response to feelings of anger, for example, can be positive or negative. We can learn to channel anger into effective action for a good cause, or we can shoot ourselves in the foot when our anger habitually causes us to act abusively toward other people."

If we understand the mechanism behind anger, we can deal with it better so it doesn't flood our bodies with toxic chemicals. The problem is, many people stow their anger because it is considered to be an unhealthy emotion. Therefore, anger is likely to be expressed at an inopportune time if repressed.

Have you noticed how anger makes itself known when you least expect it? You could be in your car driving and suddenly you are cut off in traffic. Soon enough you are trading blows with another motorist over something insignificant such as failing to indicate when changing lanes.

Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener write in The Upside of Your Dark Side: "When you're angry, pausing, deep breaths, and moments of reflection more effectively exercise power and control than rapid-fire responses. If you feel less angry when you slow down, that's great, but that's not the goal. This is about giving yourself a wider range of options to choose from in an emotionally charged situation."

Repressed Anger Stored In The Body

My client Susan experienced anger recently while driving to work. An inconsiderate motorist cut her off in traffic and being socially conscious, she beeped her horn to advise him of her presence, so as to avoid an accident. The motorist took offence and gestured to her with a hand signal that was not the international sign of peace.

This took place early morning while she was driving to work. By the time I saw her later that morning she was still ruminating on what transpired, only now the anger had manifested as lower back pain due to the stored emotion.

Emotions are energy in motion and if not expressed, they become stored in the body via organs, cells, muscles and tissues. If the emotion is ignored or stowed away, its presence is known via pain or illness to get your attention.

The late Candace Pert, an American neuroscientist and pharmacologist who discovered the opiate receptor, the cellular binding site for endorphins in the brain, wrote an article titled: Where Do You Store Your Emotions? She outlines how emotions get lodged in the mind body until they are integrated.

She states: "The emotional memory is stored in many places in the body, not just or even primarily, in the brain... The real true emotions that need to be expressed are in the body, trying to move up and be expressed and thereby integrated, made whole, and healed."

Her work into opiate receptors showed how emotions like anger can lead to disease if we are not mindful of them. With Susan, she repressed her anger towards the motorist because he mistook her car horn as a sign of aggression.

She ruminated on the incident, recalling the anger, so it expressed itself in her lower back, a weak spot for her given a car accident decades ago.

After our discussion, I mentioned something that helped her to reframe the experience. I pointed out how she has a way of being righteous, especially as someone who is socially conscious. She let the motorist know he was in the wrong and felt victimized when he gestured to her inappropriately.

I asked her to reconsider the situation, since other motorists can sometimes misjudge our intentions because we cannot communicate with them vocally.

I then asked her to close her eyes and visualise the emotion of anger. Where was it stored in her body? What did it look like? I invited her to let it be there, lean into it and take deep breaths while directing her awareness to the area of the pain.

The good news is, the pain cleared in two days following more contemplative work by Susan. The point is, anger like other emotions will find its way to the weakest point in your body. Sadly, for many this means it gets stored away for years, if not decades until the person goes into therapy and experiences spontaneous healing.

In fact, there's nothing spontaneous about the healing other than the individual has dealt with the emotion after all this time.

Love Is The Only Way

It was the Canadian singer Leonard Cohen who wrote in the song Anthem: "There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

The purpose of anger is to draw your awareness to the light, or in this case the love within you.

In most cases, love and peace of mind is the answer, not anger and chaos.

How can I be sure you ask?

Look to your body since it knows the truth. If you think this is just wishy-washy self-help advice, I urge you to hold onto anger and fear for as long as you can and see if it doesn't manifest itself as pain or disease.

In contrast, The Healing Power Of Love overcomes fear, anger, anxiety and other lower emotional states. Love is a healing agent, but first you must release the anger because the two cannot co-exist, as alluded to earlier.

When you are consumed by anger and chaos, you have lost your way. However, what if the presence of anger was leading you back to love?

What I'm proposing is, anger is a call for love, in most cases self-love. You are no more an angry person than a tree believes itself to be a bird.

Whilst on the topic, let's not confuse evil and anger for that is another article saved for a later time.

Anger is an emotional state a person can become stuck in if they do not attend to their pain.

Love is the way. Moreover, love is the only way back to your core self.

So, if you believe the narrative anger preaches, it is because you are consumed by the emotion and have lost your way.

Allow love to open your heart again. Otherwise your authentic self becomes muddied by the mirage of shameless emotions not symbolic of your true self.


http://ezinearticles.com/?When-You-Are-Consumed-By-Anger-And-Chaos,-You-Have-Lost-Your-Way&id=9828735

Law of Attraction Affirmations: The Importance of Making Positive Assertions


Wow! That smile on your face shows that you're ready to get on with your life after everything that you've been through. It seems that you're moved by the positive quotes that you've been reading recently and you have felt a real shift in your energy and general outlook on life. Thanks to that self-help video that you've watched on YouTube; you've been influenced to try applying the Law of Attraction or The Secret in your life. And thanks to your friend who told you about "The Secret" (Rhonda Byrne) and "Law of Attraction" (Louise Stapley); you now have an idea about some effective self-help tools on this principle. Now that you've started working with some beautiful quotes, the next thing you would like to do is to try making positive affirmations. Good for you! That means you're really traversing the path to an improved version of yourself! From feeling at times like a hopeless person, you're gradually turning into someone who sees the beauty of life and positives in every situation. Indeed, positive thinking can draw great things into your life, and it can happen more easily through making positive assertions.

The Importance of Law of Attraction Affirmations

The Law of Attraction states that you can magnetise into your life all the things that you think of; positive or negative. So if you want to experience good happenings in your life, you should only entertain good thoughts. And as mentioned earlier, attracting the things that you want can be easier if positive thinking is accompanied by positive affirmations. For instance, if you want to have a happy relationship with your significant other, you can say to yourself "I will definitely be happy with him through fighting off my doubts in our relationship." If you want to earn big money from your business, you can say "I believe that all my efforts will enable me to be financially successful."

You may be asking yourself if it's really necessary to make such assertions when you're already making a concerted effort to think about good things. Will it really make a difference? Below are some points that will hopefully enlighten you:

1. Regularly voicing out beautiful thoughts can help you avoid negative thinking and break habitual subconscious habits that you may not even know you have.

Try saying good things every now and then, and you'll prevent negative thoughts from getting into your head. It's not enough to just keep on thinking positively; you should speak your thoughts aloud, too! You have to hear yourself, for you to digest everything that you want to keep at the forefront of your mind.

2. Making positive assertions enables you to release all the negativities from your system.

You can avoid bad thoughts at first; and eventually, with enough persistence and effort you can can even eliminate them completely. When you become used to making positive assertions, you won't notice that you're gradually flashing out all the negativities from your heart, mind, and whole system.

3. Positive affirmations alongside positive thoughts can help you attract everything you want in life.

Now, this is it! Saying positive affirmations can greatly help you in making the Law of Attraction and principles from "The Secret" work for you. Spoken thoughts enable you to really believe in what you're trying to think and speak. Soon after, you will likewise have the ability to turn such thoughts into reality.

With the points raised above, it can be said that Law of Attraction affirmations play a very important role in drawing beautiful things into your life. Just make sure you're willing to fight off all your negative feelings, for it is important that your thoughts are aligned with your emotions at all times.


http://ezinearticles.com/?Law-of-Attraction-Affirmations:-The-Importance-of-Making-Positive-Assertions&id=8838239

How The Law of Attraction Can Improve Your Life


In life, there are a lot of different things that can positively affect your life. You may not immediately think of certain things, but it's true. For instance, you're not going to find many people scoff at the notion of eating right and exercising. In fact, this is the premier thing that you can do for your body. It helps with weight loss, management, and can even stabilize mood. It's something that can absolutely pay off in a lot of different ways. The body can be mended and helped with exercise, but what about the mind? People may find that the mind is a difficult thing to really work on, especially when it comes to getting a handle of anxiety, and more. To elevate the mood, you may want to look at why and how the Law of Attraction can help.

The Problem With Negativity

The first thing that you are going to find to be true is that millions of people are negative. Just turn on a television and you will be hit with a lot of news and updates that are absolutely problematic. There's nothing good that can come from manifesting this into your life. Millions of people are dwelling on the wrong things, and they are starting to see themselves get sick as a result. If you don't cast aside the elements that are anything but positive, you will start to slowly weigh yourself down. When you're dwelling on things that are outside of your control, you will no longer have positivity in your life, and that can be problematic. The law focuses on removing these issues and building up your self-esteem, confidence and more.

An Outward Change

One of the premier things that the Law of Attraction does is it makes you a bit more jovial. When you go into work, when you talk to others, and when you are just living your life, you're going to exhibit a great deal of outward happiness. This beautiful update will allow you to become more popular, and people gravitate towards that. You'll be surprised by how much a smile can change the way that people see you. Imagine walking into your work smiling, laughing, and enjoying the day. That's the kind of positivity that is infectious, and it's part of the notion of attraction overall.

The Big Question

The biggest question that you will no doubt ask is simple, does this work for everyone? The short answer is absolutely, yes. However, it doesn't happen overnight. If you're going to make a lifestyle change, you need to work on it slowly so that you can see a great amount of momentum come your way. If you expect changes to occur permanently, over 24 hours, you will not get moving forward. However, if you take your time, and you work through the positive elements that are necessary, you will end up in a whole new world of positivity. Test this out a bit and see why so many are seeking out attraction instead of dwelling on the negative elements that can manifest in life.



http://ezinearticles.com/?How-The-Law-of-Attraction-Can-Improve-Your-Life&id=9398378

3 Major Reasons Why People Give Up On The Law of Attraction



You may see this throughout the online world. People are throwing in the towel in regards to the Law of Attraction. There are always going to be negative people in life, and with the internet, many of them have posted things online. When you research this concept, and start to learn about how you can improve your life, you may be tempted to fall into the negative side of things. Skeptics are going to always push you in the wrong direction, and that's not a good thing. There are many major reasons why people stop pursuing attraction. The following illustrates just a few of them.

It's Easier To Be Negative

Folding one's hands, and just scoffing at the future is easier. Cynics are born every day, and the more skeptical people are, the more negative things can become. It's easy to join this side because it is just a lot easier to band together with those that aren't seeing anything good manifest in life. You could turn on the television and see a lot of bad news and dwell on that. You could join the millions that are anxious, mad at life, and just don't want to get anywhere. That will lead to more negativity and issues than if you were to chase the opposite direction.

People Assume Bad Things Will Always Happen

Ask someone about why they are unhappy with their job, life, spouse, and more. They'll have reasons and they'll most likely just fold their arms. They just assume that things are always going to be bad, so they are happy with the status quo. This is not a good thing. The status quo is not going to help you grow or feel better about your life. Furthermore, if you have children, they are going to manifest the same disdain that you may have for things, and the cycle of negative momentum will continue through the years. It's not a good thing. People give up on attraction because they assume that bad things will always happen, and that's not true.

Riches Don't Manifest Fast

People assume that by adhering to the principles found in the Law of Attraction, that they will win the lottery. This is not a good luck charm. When you look at this like a fortune telling machine, or something that is going to pay you dividends for just being positive, you will lose sight of the bigger picture. While you may be more prosperous, it will not occur overnight, or by gambling. You'll have to put in some work in order to get more in terms of riches. There's no shortcuts to being positive, you have to remember that.

At the end of the day, it's easy to give up on being positive in life. Millions of people do that. However, those that don't give up, those that continue to find silver linings in their lives, are happier, see more positivity manifest, and enjoy life as a whole. Try this out, and see how far you can go with the many benefits of attraction overall.


http://ezinearticles.com/?3-Major-Reasons-Why-People-Give-Up-On-The-Law-of-Attraction&id=9383984

Assume The Best (By Jeanna Gabellini)



Have you ever heard news about something that impacts you, then you decide that your life is now going to suck?

What if the news meant everything was going to be better than you expected even though you assumed the news(or no news!) meant something negative?

Some years back I chose to do an elective surgery. I chose the doctor based on a referral and then saw his amazing track record and stellar reputation through the magical resource of the Internet.

When I met the doctor in person, I felt no connection to him. Something wasn't quite a fit, but I thought, "Jeanna, this is not about being friends with the doctor, it's about him doing his job and making sure I'm healthy." So, I made myself feel okay about him. I had a few other pet peeves around this situation, one of them being that he rescheduled my appointment for the pre-op visit moments before my arrival.

Two days before I traveled six hours south for my surgery, his office called, saying he was flying out of town and he'd have another surgeon take his place.

What??!! I had a moment of freak-out, then checked in with myself to see if that was going to be okay with me. I felt a bit scared walking in for surgery before meeting the guy who'd be cutting me open!

I found out that the newly assigned surgeon was more of an expert on my particular procedure. So the switch turned into a blessing when I looked at the news in a different way.

After the surgery I was concerned about some sharp pains I was having. Then I remembered that I'd had similar pains when I had surgery on my broken elbow several years before. I decided that the pain was not a problem but rather my body adjusting to the surgery and healing. I learned later that my assumption was true.

How many times do we assume there is something wrong with our bodies when they do something we're not used to? What if we assumed all was truly well?

I'm sure you have experienced somebody canceling plans with you and were irritated at first, only to find out later that the change worked out better for you. What about losing an employee only to find that the person who filled their shoes was even better at the job? Or losing a job or lover and finding out that it was one of the best things that could've happened?

Yes, hindsight makes a lot of circumstances seem perfect, doesn't it?

Is something happening in your life right now that seems like it's not going your way? Maybe it's the election results. Maybe you have a house on the market and the deal just fell through. Maybe you can't get a hold of someone you really need to talk to. Maybe you just lost your biggest client.

What if you assumed this was not negative? What if you knew you could attract a better lover, employee, client, buyer, opportunity, or vacation? What if you assumed the current reality was not bad but an opportunity to have an even better outcome?

If you assume the worst is happening to you, you step into a role of victim to circumstance. This role is an immediate power and confidence thief. When you assume the best will happen to you, you are able to manage outcomes and solutions. You keep your head on and your feet grounded. You make smart choices for yourself. You stay in the flow. You go on your merry way.

The results don't always show up the way you think, so keep your focus on the essence of what you want without attachment to the way it has to unfold.

All is well and getting weller. What is the best possible outcome you can imagine for something you want very much? What does it feel like? What senses can you engage while you enjoy the excitement of manifesting your dream?

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Jeanna Gabellini is a Master Business Coach who assists conscious entrepreneurs to double (and even triple) their profits by leveraging attraction principles, proven strategies and fun. Grab her FREE audio on dialing in your biz here: http://masterpeacecoaching.com/freecd2


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Understanding The Law of Attraction



There are a lot of different ways that you can look at life. Millions of people today just look at things in a very basic manner. They go to work, they come home, and they try to do it all again in the morning. If you have been working through the same old days, nights, and weekends, you may need something new. That's where the notion of the Law of Attraction comes into play. Many people have found that this is a beautiful way to live, and perhaps could increase the ability to see huge details for the future. If you want to change your life, you may want to get an understanding of how this works and why it works for people of all backgrounds.

The Power of Positivity

The first thing that you have to realize is that the law is not so much about doing 1 thing right, it's about positivity in all things. People today are often times way too negative for their own good. You may find that you are navigating a sea of this at work, in school, or in your daily life. If you're dwelling on the negative, then it's time to change things up. To do this, just start to write down what you are downcast about and change things up by adding positive affirmations to your life. When you do this, you will be sending out to the universe a notion that you're happy, and that you are in need of more of that. Happiness is infectious, and if you go with a positive attitude throughout your life, you'll start to see positivity come through to you.

The Power of Laughter

People used to scoff at the notion that laughter was a good medicine. As more and more research has been done, people have figured out that this is in fact true. Laughter has a huge jump in terms of medicine, and it can help with so many ailments, as well as mood enhancement. If you want to take on this notion, the Law of Attraction should be a simple concept to grasp. It's in the same element that you will find happiness, and joy through the action of giving to yourself. Self-improvement is a hot topic issue, and something that can help you heal from the burdens of daily life. When things get you down, you could fight back and get the upper hand.

Stopping The World

The biggest goal of this is simple, stopping the world from spinning around you. When you know more about yourself, and what is going on around you, you can gain a semblance of control. When things seem to be headed for disaster, you'll be the one left standing, because you will have the notion of a futuristic element that is hard to define in a simple stance. Look, millions of people try to be happy and fail, and it's because they are going about things the wrong way. This aims to correct that, and could very well be the best thing to go forward with, if you are honest about the elements.



http://ezinearticles.com/?Understanding-The-Law-of-Attraction&id=9404903

Do You Know How Much Time You Have Left?


One day we are all going to die. I'm not trying to be negative here or a dooms-dayer but this is a simple life truth. The sad thing is that many people who think they have a lot more time may have a lot less than they know.

Do you know anyone who recently passed away and didn't see it coming? I did - several as a matter of fact, but again I don't want you to think that all I am going to do is this brief article is focus on the negative death stuff - I'm not. But I did want to get your attention on a very important topic - living life with two things in mind - your now and your eternity.

First of all - no one can answer this question cause no one knows the date and time and circumstances of their final earth moments. This has over the years, been proven to be a good thing. Think about it - if you knew exactly when your time here was finished - can you imagine how stressful life would be as you counted down the years, days and minutes?

So, in reality you really don't know how much time you have left but what you do know is that you have this moment as you are reading this article.

And if you are fortunate you have the next moment for the next thing on your to do list. And, you have your plans for this weekend or this summer or even later this year's trip to La La land. Sorry folks, you really don't have these - you just have the moment now as you read. Want me to be really negative - you don't know if you have enough time to finish this article just like I don't know if I have enough time to finish writing it.

OK Tim, I get it but what's your point? If I don't know how much time I have left, why should I waste any more valuable time reading this article so I can move on to something more important or meaningful. (Wow - that hurt! - kidding.)

My point is simply this - how are you living - like you have forever? Just now? Eternity? All three? None of them?

Now - Eternity - The present - Tomorrow - Yesterday - I could go on for pages defining or describing these simple words but in the end their meaning is very personal and unique to each of us.

Back to my point so I don't leave you totally frustrated with my writing style.

We have now - we know we do - we are present, aware, laughing, crying, thinking, listening, talking - etc.

We have yesterday - regrets, memories, stories, disappointments, mistakes, failures, achievements, successes - etc.

We don't have tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. It's that simple folks. So, let me ask you - what or how are you using what you have knowing you don't know when it will be over?

Are you spending time in - worry, stress, selfies, jealousy, disappointment, anxiety, anger, blame frustration, fear and/or regrets etc. OR are you spending it in peace, joy, growing, learning, worshiping, sharing, giving, laughing, praying and/or gratitude etc.?



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This Is Why You Can Fail In Life And Still End Up Where You Need To Be


The Roadmap To Victory

You can fail in life and end up where you need to be because failure is not permanent - giving up is.

Countless articles are sprawled across the internet, advocating the key to success. However, the conversation around failure is less prominent.

If there's one thing I've learned it's this: failure is not as disastrous as people believe it to be.

Thomas Edison once said: "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure."

It may seem negative at first. Yet, if you move past the fears, failure is nothing more than a signpost guiding you in the right direction.

You might try assigning a human quality to failure, to relate to it better. Don't see it as a force outside you inhibiting success, but as an integral part of your psyche leaving clues towards success.

Renowned author Elizabeth Gilbert writes in Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear: "You can measure your worth by your dedication to your path, not by your successes or failures."

We are not entrusted with a road map marking our way through life, so we're left to make it up as we go along. For this reason, be compassionate with yourself since you don't have all the answers at your disposal.

Think of failure as being blindfolded in a maze and asked to find your way out. To find the exit, you must take the wrong turns to gain insight on the direct passage out.

Your failures (taking the wrong turns) become the roadmap to victory (finding the exit).

Life functions in the same respect, in so far as the key to success is contained within your mistakes.

Success Lessons

Some people recover from failures quicker than others, but it is the lessons gained from the experience that is paramount.

"Serial winners bounce back, move on, and win anyway. And they do it through action," affirms Larry Weidel in Serial Winner: 5 Actions to Create Your Cycle of Success.

Failure sharpens the saw of the human will and endows us with determination.

I attended a mastermind group for several years where it was restated that we should fail often and fail fast. The significance is to speed the rate at which you fail and learn from the lessons.

You can fail in life and still end up where you need to be because failures are pivotal moments in your success journey. Whilst it may not appear that way, it is because you're invested in your life story.

A mentor is helpful to guide you through your failures than if you were to go it alone.

Author Jeff Olson's writes in The Slight Edge: "Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. 'Progressive' means success is a process, not a destination. It's something you experience gradually, over time. Failure is also just as gradual. In fact, the difference between success and failure is so subtle, you can't even see it or recognize it during the process. And here's how real success is built: by the time you get the feedback, the real work's already done."

What you consider failure, others see as vital success lessons. You can reframe failure as learning aids through repeated setbacks.

Consider it as a letting go moment. Just as you no longer play with your childhood toys since you have outgrown them, your relationship with failure ought to be the same.

Many people don't succeed because they associate failure with their self-worth and never try again.

The point worth highlighting is to outgrow your negative association to failure, so it doesn't impact your self-worth.

"I learned then that there is a difference between failing and failure. Failing is trying something that you learn doesn't work. Failure is throwing in the towel and giving up. I refused to be a failure. As Winston Churchill once said, "Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm," writes author Jay Samit in Disrupt Yourself.

Success is a Destination

Many people equate success with frequent wins and fewer setbacks. The reality is, more defeats lead to success if the individual is willing to learn from the setbacks.

For example, you can be rejected by nine out of ten record labels but if you are a musician you can still be remarkably successful with the one offer.

Authors Jeff Brown and Mark Fenske remind us in The Winner's Brain: 8 Strategies Great Minds Use to Achieve Success: "Winners reframe failures so that they work to their advantage and recognize that when things don't go according to plan the journey isn't necessarily over - and in fact failure is often a new opportunity in disguise."

There's a meme that gets shared on social media depicting what we imagine success to be and its corresponding associations.

It highlights why it's important to develop a new framework around failure, if you wish to succeed.

Failure invigorates the human spirit or delivers a crushing blow to person's self-worth. Either way, it governs whether the individual has what it takes to find a way through their challenges.

The saying 'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth' applies to failure. For it was the American motivational speaker Jim Rohn who once quipped: "Success leaves clues."

In a similar vein, the late Hungarian mathematician Farkas Bolyai wrote: "When the time is ripe for certain things, they appear at different places, in the manner of violets coming to light in early spring."

Knowing this, reframe your perception of failure as a signpost leading you closer to a prosperous future.

As long as you don't give up, success is a destination you will reach if you are firm in your determination, like a train bound to its tracks.

After all, failure is life's way of nudging you back on track, to reach your destination when the time is right - as long as you stay on course and never give up.



http://ezinearticles.com/?This-Is-Why-You-Can-Fail-In-Life-And-Still-End-Up-Where-You-Need-To-Be&id=9736248

Peace of Mind, the Danish Way (By Irene Roth)

Image result for walk in nature

Who would think that the Dane's have a secret that we can all cherish? The Dane's seem to be the happiest people in the world. So, what is their secret?

In North America, we seem to be pushed to the brink. We rush, overwork, don't sleep well, overstress, and are miserable. We overwork so that we can over-purchase and over-consume. The result is that we are unhappy, unhealthy and we are dying younger than ever before.

So, what we need to do is to step back from the so-called rat-race where the only person who seems to be the happiest is the one who has somehow stopped all of this nonsense and actually stopped to smell the roses at least once a day. But we usually categorize such people as lazy or something else that is nonetheless negative in nature.

So, what can the Dane's teach us about happiness? I believe they can teach us a lot. In this article, I will examine a few of the ways that we can try a few simple habits that will actually make us happier and healthier.

1. Take some time to rest and relax a few times a day-once in the middle of the day, once in the late afternoon, and once in the evening. During your rest times, don't text or use other technologies. Don't watch television. Just sit down and relax with a cup of tea or coffee.

2. Do a simple meditation a few times a day, preferably in the morning and evening. If you could manage one in the afternoon, all the better. Meditation doesn't have to be complicated. It could be as simple as sitting down in a comfortable chair, taking a few deep breaths, setting a timer for ten minutes, closing your eyes and focusing on your breath. When the buzzer goes off signalling the end of your ten minutes, open your eyes slowly, and just take a few seconds to feel how good it is to be relaxed. Then you can resume your normal activities.

3. Live in the moment as much as possible. Try not to overthink situations or aspects of your day. Instead, try and focus on your breath a few times a day. Take the time to enjoy the view wherever you are. There is always something beautiful around us. All we have to do is look and see it.

4. Commune with nature. This could be a simple walk in the park or just getting outside on your lunch hour and seeking a quiet green area. This can restore your energy and help you feel much more relaxed. It can also help you to center and to live in the moment not in the past or future.

By taking these steps, you will be gaining more peace of mind. This can help you feel a lot healthier and happier. And when the weekend comes, you could practise more of these tips. It will completely restore your peace of mind and equilibrium.


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5 Ways to Get Plus Size Confidence (By Brian Ka)


Image result for plus size model

We have all heard the old saying that beauty comes from within, and that applies in particular to the plus size woman. It's not that these women can't be beautiful on the outside because many of them are. However, it is sad that many of them don't feel beautiful on the outside and lack confidence. How you look impacts how you feel, and how you feel affects how powerful you are at work and play. If you are not excited about your outward appearance, that makes you feel less powerful.

So what are you supposed to do in the midst of the journey, while you are becoming while you are working to help your outside match your inside? Shrink and hide from the world? We think not. It's important to reach consistently within to connect with the things that make you feel incredible and unstoppable. As most people would say, the work on the 'inner you' is more important than the work on the 'outer you.' Have you ever met someone who was physically beautiful but... you can finish that sentence. I bet you have. Having beauty that comes from the inside means that you have qualities that are magnetic and draw people to you. When people find you attractive from a deep place, you will automatically seem to be (and will feel) more beautiful on the outside.

The first thing that most women need to feel beautiful and powerful is kindness. When I say kindness I mean being nice to people and seeing things in a positive light. If a woman is negative, she'll usually have a frown on her face, which isn't attractive to others. However, when someone has a kind spirit, you can see it in the glow on her face and her eyes. She'll have a smile on her face that gives you a hint about who she is inside. This is the type of woman that is fun to be around. This principle remains the same for a plus size woman; when she is kind to others and also kind to herself, it impacts how she views the world, and how the world sees her.

A sense of humor is an ingredient that can make any woman feel more confident. It's always good to look at the funny side of life or to find humor in mundane things. If you can't think of something every day that's funny, seek the laugh out. Haven't laughed in a while? Watch the Big Bang Theory- We dare you! If you can watch my favorite nerds and not laugh, we need a personal coaching session. (Knock, knock, knock, Penny!) Read a funny book, listen to a classic comedian on CD. You get the idea. If your funny muscle needs a workout, develop it and see if that doesn't make you more confident, whatever your size.

Every woman has something that makes her unique no matter what it is. To that end, she should spend time nurturing her talents and skills. This in a long way builds up a person's confidence, and in making you seem more beautiful from the inside out. When you talk about the things that you are passionate about or that you're interested in, you inevitably have a different energy and a twinkle in your eyes that are very attractive. Don't focus so much on your current state, invest time in creating the woman you want to become.

Also, find it a mandatory fact that you need to upgrade your fashion taste. Most plus size ladies lack confidence due to the reason that they don't give attention to what they wear. It is the one of our five tips today in boosting your confidence. So what if you don't have any idea about fashion or probably don't know where to begin. They will give you a unique guide to what goes well appropriately when it comes to the fashion world for plus size fashion.

One more tip to help develop confidence is not to sweat the small stuff. It might sound cliche because it is, but there are many things in life that people, particularly women worry about that at the end of the day simply aren't that important. Every day is a new day to start over. Instead of wasting time and energy worrying about the past, accept that you can't change the past, and then work on your future with the intention to create the tomorrow you want. I want to give you permission to stop apologizing for wherever you are in life and let the bolder, more powerful and more confident you come out to play.

"Life is too short to try to convince people to be aware of who you are and the value that you bring. ~ Les Brown."

What did WE miss? What else boosts your confidence? Let me know.

Have a POWERFUL day,

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Balancing the Mind and Matter

Image result for yoga poses

There is no species that is more organized than the human race. Yet we have managed to condition ourselves to high levels of stress throughout our lives. We grow up with education based stress, financial stress, social stress and emotional stress. But we rarely pause and ask ourselves: Am I Well?

What Wellbeing is

Wellbeing is often loosely described as a state of physical and emotional harmony. It is important to define a person's state of wellbeing as positive and negative, as it helps them evaluate the quality of their lives. But this general definition has many layers.

Negative wellbeing is with reference to a person who has been influenced by external problems and is physically unwell, emotionally distressed and socially unresponsive. This could either result in an agitated, anxious state of mind, or a dull, unmotivated individual. Positive wellbeing, on the other hand, refers to a physically and mentally fit individual. They may be enthusiastic, involved members of society or calm, relaxed and equally efficient.

What one must note is that a person with a positive wellbeing state faces the same problems as the person with a negative wellbeing state. What is the difference then?

The key to positive wellbeing is to understand that physical and mental fitness are interrelated. You cannot be fit in one case without being fit in the other.

But how does one prevent oneself from succumbing to the stress levels of their surroundings? We rarely make time in our lives to keep fit. We helplessly crouch under the pressure of working for a living, keeping our family safe and emotionally satisfied, and fulfilling our social duties. We cannot get rid of the problems themselves. But what we can do is rearrange our physical and mental conditioning to stress and create a state where we can easily avert the stress!

The Path to Positive Wellbeing

What methods can we adopt to improve our overall wellbeing? Technology can help to some extent, if used correctly. It will help you connect to a large array of counsellors- the Network of Empathy. But Technology and other such artificial tools can only help you acknowledge your problems.

Doctors and Company professionals are also a major help, but they often choose to only treat either your physical ailments or your emotional ailments- you will rarely find an expert who will help you attain overall wellbeing.

There is one school of thought that strives to help you balance both physical and emotional wellbeing- Holistic Healing.

The Holistic Take on Wellbeing

Holistic healing is deeply involved with positive wellbeing. It believes that physical, mental and social harmony is necessary for a healthy life. It also believes that there are many ways to achieve this, and a person is free to choose the method that suits his interests best.

Yoga, for example, is an exceptional branch of holistic thought. It is popularly associated with mere postures and positions- but the very psychology behind yoga is obtained only through years of training and expertise.

Yoga believes that for an individual to be truly well, he must engage in physical and mental exercises to attain balance, stability and perfect clarity of thought. A practitioner of yoga will often display the "calm" type of positive wellbeing. This is naturally the most sustainable form of wellbeing.

Rome Was not Built in a Day

There are many branches of the holistic path for one to explore. In order to pursue positive wellbeing, it is important to persevere in a chosen path with patience, faith, and will. Human spirit is the best healer but it is also vulnerable to negativity.

We all possess the will to acknowledge our internal and external stress and deal with it. Wellbeing first starts with a ray of hope.

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How Your Subconscious Mind Works

Your subconscious mind is truly amazing. It is there to protect you. But it can not think things through like you can and it has no reasoning abilities.

It remembers all the things that have ever happened in your life by the way you felt about them at the time of the experience.

It knows everything! It can bring you anything you want, but It does not know the difference between good and bad, or negative and positive. It only reads what you want through you visualizing it, your emotions and how much attention you give to what you want.

We all manifest things all the time. But we do it by accident so we sometimes manifest things that we would not choose to If we did it on purpose.

Would it be great if we could somehow find a way to manifest on purpose? Imagine what it would be like to just know that you could bring whatever you wanted into your world. Can you imagine how great that would be!

Well guess what, there is a process to learning how to manifest on purpose and once we understand this we can start learning and applying techniques that will put us on the correct path.

Most people have so many thoughts running through their minds all day long and they don't even hear most of them. This is one of the reasons that it's impossible to manifest on purpose what we want.

We need to be able to recognize the thoughts in our mind, quiet those thoughts and learn how to direct our minds to what ever it is we desire.

But before we can direct our minds we need to remove all the limiting beliefs that our subconscious mind has collected from our experiences.

Yes, we all have limiting beliefs. It is our limiting beliefs that hold us back from our dreams. Say we dream about having a huge house, but then we think to ourselves I will never have that, I don't make enough money. Or I could never afford that.

Then we stop dreaming about it because it's not even real to us. But when we remove the limiting beliefs of why we feel that way, it becomes real to us and we know we can have it.

This is a fun journey and it's all about you and creating what you truly want in life. once you are there. you can have the life you always dreamed of.

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Advanced Techniques That You Can Use to Master Mindfulness



How can a person develop mindfulness to improve the nature of his responses to stressful situations?

You need to remind yourself to look inward at all times so you can become a calmer and more relaxed spectator-participant of the world.

Today's post will center on some advanced techniques that you can also use to master mindfulness. It must be noted early on that there is no shortcut to deep mindfulness and you have to continue practicing if you want to be naturally mindful at all times.

How can you become more mindful despite the presence of stressors?

Mindfulness can be likened to a very sharp sword that can slice stressful situations in half.

However, you have to be willing to wield it before it can help you conquer stress. If you're ready to vanquish stress through mindfulness, here are some additional steps that will help refine your mindfulness:

1) Suspend Your Judgments - We now live in a world where people are constantly required by society to choose, decide and judge things. We pass small and big judgments on anyone or anything that comes our way.

The problem with passing judgment all the time is that you end up spending too much mental energy on even the smallest inconveniences of life.

The result is that you will feel exhausted and burnt out even if you are just sitting in the office. Mindfulness requires us to adapt a mindset of acceptance instead.

How does the mindset of acceptance work?

You must avoid viewing things as positive or negative; instead, you must simply accept what is happening at the present time and mold your action or response to suit your present needs.

As you practice suspending your judgment, you will soon find out that many of the stressors that have been "chasing" you around are actually insubstantial are not deserving of your time, effort or energy.

The fogginess caused by stress will also begin to lift and your mind will become as clear as the sky. A clear mind is something you will definitely need if you want to manage your stress more effectively.

2) Avoid Instant Reactions - The human brain was designed to create routines or patterns of thoughts and behaviors that are used automatically in different situations.

These predetermined patterns, as you may already know, are not always useful or productive. I call these behaviors and thoughts "reactive elements" of the mind because they come to the surface without the need for conscious thinking.

Instant reactions can foster a life full of stress because it's easy to let the stress get the upper hand because it feels 'right' for the situation.

However, if you continue to let stress get the upper hand, you will become unhappy and less productive in the long term. In order to combat these subconscious reactive elements, you have to practice conscious thinking.

How does conscious thinking occur?

The human mind is divided into two distinct parts: the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind actually gives instructions to the conscious mind. The latter protects the subconscious mind from intrusions (e.g. potentially harmful ideas).

Conscious thinking will require you to shift the power of thought to the conscious mind so you can exert more control over what takes place in your subconscious.

Conscious thinking is also a great way to create actual solutions that you can use to remedy problems for good. The subconscious mind can help with creating solutions but only if it's not on "autopilot."

3) Be More Compassionate - The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines compassion as "having empathy and pity for the misfortune of other people."

Choosing to be more compassionate automatically hampers negative judgments and knee-jerk reactions, which then leads to a quieter and more peaceful mind.

Being more compassionate toward other people and their situations in life is a great way to beat stress because your mind will be focused on empathy rather than on negative thoughts and emotions.

Immersing yourself in compassionate thought and action can also break down the hard shell of pessimism that many people develop as a way of dealing with stressors.

When you see reality as a series of bad situations and misfortunes, you definitely need a dose of compassionate behavior to reverse your pessimism. A person who chooses to be compassionate at all times is more likely to find inner peace and happiness than someone who makes a conscious choice to be critical of other people's words and actions.

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7 Steps Towards a Positive State of Mind

Woman Wearing Yellow Button-up Long-sleeved Dress Shirt

Most of us have heard the saying: The optimist sees the glass half full, while the pessimist sees it half-empty. In its simplest terms, positive thinking is optimism and negative thinking is pessimism. It is an attitude towards life, yourself and particular predicaments and events in life.

Positive thinkers quickly zone in on the positive side of even the darkest moments in their lives, and often see those predicaments as opportunities for growth and learning. Positive thinkers are resilient and able to deal with stressful situations in productive ways.

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine."- Anthony J. D'Angelo

Becoming a positive thinker is not necessarily something that will happen overnight. Depending on the severity of the negativity, it can take time to make appropriate changes.

The practice of positive thinking, and making it a character trait rather than a one-time thing, takes effort, patience, and time. If optimism is not natural to you, there are ways to turn it around.

Work towards combating the negativity you identified and maintaining an optimistic nature and use these steps as tools in the process.

7 Steps To A Positive Attitude

1. Say something positive whenever you think something negative. The tricky part about this is catching each negative thought as is happens. As much as possible, stop the negative thought as it happens and say something constructive to yourself, such as "today is going to be great."

Positive affirmations can be recited daily to reprogram the mind of negative thinking. There is a positive opposite for virtually everything negative...

"The weather is too hot." versus "The sun feels good on my skin."

"People at work are annoying." versus "It's great to a have a team to help with the workload."

"I look fat in that dress." versus "I look awesome in that dress."

"I screwed up again." versus "I made a mistake that I will learn from."

"I should be graduating at the top of my class." versus "I am so proud that I am graduating."

"All this snow is a hassle; it makes life harder and creates more work." versus "The snow left my backyard looking like a scene from a postcard."

"My husband cooked dinner for me, but it was only pasta." versus "I so appreciate my husband cooking dinner for me."

"I worked hard all day but did not get nearly enough done." versus "Wow, what a productive day I had at work."

2. Laugh often. Negative thinkers tend to be very uptight, and it's no wonder considering the heavy burden they often carry and the lack of positivity in their life. Allow yourself to laugh and often. Seek out scenarios where you laugh, like hanging out with funny people or visiting comedy clubs. Learn to see the humor in life, even during painful times. Laughter reduces stress, stops you from taking everything too seriously, and yields a more optimistic outlook.

3. Surround yourself with positive people. Negativity breeds more negativity. A positive attitude is contagious, and the best way to adopt such a thought process is to learn first-hand from a master. Having positive people in your life will allow you to view first-hand what it looks like, and positive people will give you uplifting advice, feed a positive outlook and problem solving suggestions, as opposed to negative people who will only want to sink in the muck with you and feed your negativity.

4. View every experience as a learning opportunity. Consider this scenario. A positive thinker finds out that their significant other has cheated. They break off the relationship, evaluate what went wrong, and attempt to learn from the situation, viewing it as a growing experience and a stepping-stone to a brighter future with someone else. Their process is a positive one that will include pain, and anger, but the way the positive thinker deals with it is constructive. The optimist knows that not everyone is a liar or a cheater, and that they can and will meet someone honest.

A negative thinker finds out that their significant other has been unfaithful and thinks thoughts like, "all men/women are liars and cheats;" I hate them all." They will dwell in the misery, and pain, and not view the experience as a learning process. They may become consumed by anger and hatred and generalize the entire opposite sex as evil, and eventually they may fall into a state of depression and experience anxiety and other ill health effects. Their next relationship may inevitably suffer, as their general distrust of the opposite sex will surely affect intimacy.

The positive thinker's resiliency and attitude allows them to grow through the painful experience, come out better for it on the other side, and avoid possible health manifestations that can result from negativity and its stress.

The negative thinker's own attitude will result in them missing an opportunity to grow, and the stress that attitude puts on their emotional and mental health will only harm them in the long run.

5. Adopt practices such as yoga, meditation, aromatherapy, tai chi and deep relaxation. These practices help you to focus your mind, build self-awareness, and obtain a deep peace. They also help you to maintain awareness about your thoughts and feelings, which helps you to control them so that you can build more positive energy in your mind and body.

6. Use positive affirmations. Our own inner dialogue determines our emotions, this means that we must be deliberate and conscious about what we say to ourselves. Speak positive affirmations to yourself every day, as they can help re-program your mind towards the positive mode and control your inner dialog.

Our mind is a garden and our attitudes are the seeds of its life, so plant healthy and weed regularly! Always repeat positive affirmations phrased in the present and personal tense, for example:

"I like myself!"

"I love today!"

"I love my life!"

"I see the positive in everything!"

"I can deal with anything!"

"I am strong!"

"I am optimistic!"

"I enjoy being around positive people!"

"I am aware of my thoughts"

And my favourite of all - "You are stronger than you seem, braver than you believe and far more capable than you think you are."

7. Practice Gratitude. There are multiple methods to transform your negative feelings. One of the fastest and highly effective ways is to harvest feelings of thankfulness and appreciation directed towards:

• Yourself

• Other people in your life

• Material things

• Your life circumstances

• And even strangers

Practice starting your day by focusing on being grateful, and bring to mind several specific things. This will help you move your mind towards positive thinking and positive energy vibrations.

There is nothing stopping you from achieving a more positive state of mind other than yourself. Start by acknowledging your negative thoughts, determining their source, and then transforming them into positivity.

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When Life Throws You a Curve Ball

Woman's Face

It is an established fact that change is the only constant in life. Despite being aware of this, we somehow expect all good things to remain as they are forever. We forget that life is based on the continual occurrence of the cycle of birth and death and everything else in between. Therefore, expecting life to remain at a standstill is highly unrealistic!

Many gradual changes are part of life and we accept them as such, be it changing seasons, evolving relationships, or the ever-changing dynamics of professional lives. As long as the changes within each of these are nominal or gradual, we are able to adapt and accept the reality that there are good days and there are bad days, and we are okay with that.

But what happens when life throws you a curve ball and suddenly you find yourself in a situation for which you are not prepared?

This usually means that you've been forced out of your comfort zone by a change that is inevitable, and whatever the reason, this huge change can cause you to lose your balance in life, even for a little while.

Your life may change drastically in an hour or a minute, or even in a few seconds, and nothing will ever be the same. When you find yourself in a moment like this, you may feel like you're walking on a tightrope, struggling to find your balance and convinced that you will fall into an abyss.

Frustrated is probably a small word for what you feel, but this is the time when you need to be strong and focus on what can be done to get you back on track.

From spilled coffee to lost keys, to a misplaced cell phone, there are innumerable negative incidents that can put us in a slump. But what if a negative incident of greater significance occurs, such as falling out with your best friend or life-partner, the loss of a job or a terrible car accident?

Sadly, we are the toughest on ourselves when something like this happens. Most of us react by indulging in self-victimization, angry reactions, or self-blame, often slipping into depression or dejection.

You may have to go through all these emotions before you come upon the realization that none of it was yours or anyone else's fault. Give yourself a break! As long as you are living in this world, there will be ups and downs. If it is any consolation, understand that you are not the only individual on earth faced with downturns.

Negative events can happen to anyone and it is only how you select to deal with the turn of events is what will set you apart. You can manage negative situations in a positive manner and come out stronger, wiser and a better person by following these steps:

Releasing your frustrations will help because if you stifle them, you may collapse with the stress. Write about your problem, or talk to a friend or family member. Exercising or going for a walk also does wonders.

Give yourself time to be sad or grieve; a week or a few days, or whatever you feel you need to come to terms with the unfortunate incident. Beyond that self-assigned deadline, you need to get back to your usual routine and take charge of your life!

Remember that you are not the only one going through a difficult life event like yours and there is surely someone else somewhere in the world who is experiencing the same struggle. This will help you to get over the feeling of being a victim.

Understand that feeling frustrated about what you cannot undo will keep the problem as it is. Reflect calmly on what you can do to resolve your problem and focus on finding solutions.

Never believe yourself to be up against a wall; you can always choose how to react. You may not have any control over external events, but your reactions and behavior are always in your control.

Look at the incident that has upset you objectively and remove all your feelings from the analysis. Consider yourself standing outside the incident viewing it as it happens to someone you don't know. This will enable you to objectify the event.

Turn your focus and attention on what you can do to make the situation better. Taking the smallest action towards resolving the problem will make you feel empowered. Not only does action create possibilities, it also brings results. Instead of being a passive receiver, you are now a thoughtful creator.

Don't hesitate to ask for help from friends, family or colleagues. Go through your list of contacts and see who you know who can help you get out of this crisis. Remember that you would do the same if your friends needed your help.

Rather than an obstacle, see your problem as a step in your life's journey towards learning. A negative incident is an obstacle if it stops you from reaching your objectives, and if you continue to overcome the curved balls as they come, you are moving ahead in life.

You must always learn a lesson from a negative life incident, so look for the one you need to learn from this experience and apply it to yourself so that you never have to face this situation again.

Irrespective of what life throws at you, if you're coping with it in a constructive manner, remember that no one and nothing can pull you down!


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